PARTS WORK in Therapy: what is it & how it works (IFS) 

This might be the most interesting and helpful thing she's ever posted. It's going to dominate my thought process for days to come. Lately I can't squeeze through a doorway without all my old selves getting wedged together making sounds like the Three Stooges, and it's Kati Morton who helped me summon them- all my old selves. And it's kid me that I most want to talk with. I accomplished a lot of what he wanted me to be, but lately I feel like I'm letting him down (and I've been trying to buy him off!). I have always felt those eyes on me, that kid's important to me, and now I have more of an idea how to respond to that. Thanks, KM, for opening these doors for me.

Thank you Kati for spreading the word about IFS! I’m an IFS certified therapist in Southern California. I specialize in trauma and couples therapy and this kind of therapy has been a real game changer! I’m currently working on my own parts to get enough courage to make videos of my own 😬…. But probably not… Anyway, thank you for your vulnerability, courage and your sense of humor 😊

IFS Therapy has been the most important “part “ of my 20 year journey in therapy. Therapy has been more productive and less stressful than ever before. I’m so thankful that you have started this therapy and wish the best for you as you get to know your parts and as a result know yourself.

I hope this is about IFS - Internal Family Systems therapy! (Parts work). It's truly fantastic and simple-ish stuff!

Ifs has literally saved my life. I’m so glad to see others trying it and spreading information!!! 😍😍😍

Oh Katie, I’m so glad you found parts work! I do that on my own. For those who are interested you can find the manual and workbook on audible, that’s where I found it. As far as my parts I have one (my inner child) who spends the most time with me. She wasn’t keen on me at first, I had to earn her trust (most likely back) but I have now and she shares a lot with me. My inner child is probably a manager. There’s a man who shows up sometimes, too, particularly when I’m stressed out who I think is probably a fireman. I’ve found a few exiles, as well and have processed some stored emotions. I also was able to reconnect with my therapist self (this is another part from childhood who is also probably a manager) It’s given me a way to talk to myself. I really like it. I’ve honestly made more headway with this modality than I have with EMDR. Not to knock EMDR. I find any book I can on the subject. 👍

I am so happy you did this video. I have severe C-PTSD from lifelong trauma, and after several years of CBT getting me nowhere, I saw a brilliant EMDR therapist trained in IFS. We have been combining both therapies for a few years to enormous positive effect. It allowed me to finally break away from abusers and start finding my self again. After 3 years, we're wrapping it up now and the next step is DBT (I am currently 4 weeks into a 6 month course in that). Once you know your parts and understand yourself, DBT just makes sense a lot faster, and is the perfect follow-up to EMDR and IFS. I wish you all the best on your journey and hope you continue to make videos showcasing this type of therapy. Raising awareness of it will undoubtedly help so many people!

Very good video Katie about IFS. You asked for our input. I would just emphasize importance of Self energy in IFS. That is essentially where the healing and compassion emanates. Self in IFS is connected to the Universal Source or Spirit that transcends our neuroses and trauma wounds. It is similar to Higher Power in 12 step programs. Each person may have their own interpretation and relationship with Self. But it is universal in we are all connected in some way with this Divine source. The Self is the ultimate foundation to the wonderful healing that happens when consistently practicing IFS therapy.

I appreciate so much how vulnerable and real you get with your content. The best therapists are the ones who get down on our level and show us that they are human, just like us. I love my current therapist for that too! She's so humble and real with me. It just helps so much as I work through such a huge tangle of trauma and psychological mess. I started parts work about 7 months ago and currently I've identified about 14 different parts but I definitely dont think Im anywhere near done. In that regard I found it intriguing how neat, tidy and wholesome your parts seemed to be (at least compared to mine). It sounded like you had very clearly defined person-hoods at different stages of your life, whereas I've had over a dozen pieces break off in response to the hell I've faced. Sometimes I like to delude myself into thinking Im like other people who access therapy, because in the end everyone has some form of trauma. But more and more its pretty clear that my therapists have been right through the years: my trauma was simply exceptional compared to most people. Its just not common to be emotionally neglected through your childhood, molested for 5 years, handed over to a new pedophile to then be raped every day, multiple times a day for 6 years while also being beaten on a weekly to biweekly basis. And to then also have your aunt murdered during that time and then to be dragged through the court system like a piece of dead meat only to have the perpetrator charged with less time than the years he took from you. I mean, thank goodness that isnt common! But also how isolating to know Im so alone in the extremity of the insanity I've faced. Hence so many pieces breaking off, though. In that regard, my therapist explained a month or so ago that she actually isnt moving through Parts Work with me in the same, conventional way she would with other clients because of the extremity of my experiences. She said there are just so many unknowns that my ability to be triggered by something that is otherwise helpful to someone else is just way to high to take the generic route. So we are actually moving at an absolute snails pace and sometimes it feels like Im not making progress at all. But in the background of my psyche I have genuinely been feeling a growing sense of calm and acceptance of self that no previous therapy could offer so I know Im getting places. I guess I just feel impatient about the progress sometimes because I've been in therapy for over a decade. But in that sense Parts Work is the first therapy I've done where Im starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, just like you said Kati. So thank you for making this video. You have always been one of my favorite RU-vidrs over the last decade of being a content creator and I dont see that changing any time soon! On that note, for anyone who's read this far, feel free to check out my channel if you'd like so see some anecdotes from someone who's actively going through Part Work now. My channel is about sharing my lived experience to help others feel less alone and/or share a little knowledge. So there may be a little something there for you :)

Sounds a lot like the kind of work you do in therapy to treat DID, I'm looking forward to watching this video so I can compare it to my experiences with that :)

Oh my gosh! I'm working on Part Work with my EMDR therapist! BTW she knows you as my RU-vid therapist lol! We are just creating my meeting place... I've been SOOO resistant to this. I felt it was such a waste of time; I just wanted to do the tough EMDR work and get on with my life. I felt I had already suffered so much sexual abuse, neglect, emo abuse, etc since I was 4 years old. I've been feeling so angry at my therapist for making me do Parts Work (which is NOT AT ALL like me). Two days ago, I realized it was exactly what I needed! I realized it was fear of losing some parts of me that have already been neglected and abused. I was scared of what I would discover. I just wanted to leave behind all of this pain. My IRL therapist said I need more resources before I could go back to the child and teenage instances. I was so annoyed... like she knew what to do to just get rid of all of this pain and wouldn't do it. I couldn't understand why she was refusing to help me! It made me sooo happy to wake up and find this post from you. I too am now very excited for this work... and still scared. Thank you for being so open; it really helps us. I immediately sent my IRL therapist the link for this video bc she will love it. She really is great. Thank you, my RU-vid therapist! love you.

Loved it! This is what my therapist is using in our sessions. Well, sometimes, she integrate it with techniques from other types of therapy and others. But this part work works for me. I discovered different parts of me: 1. The pressured part, kind of acting like a manager. She's kind of a mediator between whatever parts are having conflict with each other. She is also the one who has a great trust in what I do. She's gentle and caring. 2. The firefighter part. She's kind of an aggressive part who often wants to lash out to people. She also has a kind of playful trait. Sometimes she just loves scaring people just for fun. 3. The neglected part. She's often sad and hurt. She's always spending her time alone. She often cannot express her needs effectively. She is kind of confused. Well, she is a kid. 4. The guilty part. I think this one is an exiled part. She is often guilty and feel some kind of shame for whatever she has done in the past. She always has this tendency to internalize everyone's mistakes and blame all things to herself. 5. The blaming part. This one is kind of somebody who loves to blame. The sad thing is, she's often fueling the guilt that my guilty part is feeling. Sometimes the guilty part tries to not listen to what she's saying but she keeps on blaming and blaming. 6. The I don't know part. This one feels like she's playing safe or something? But this part actually is somebody who is often afraid to just make an assumption. She loves saying "I don't know" because she wants me to be so sure of things. Sometimes, she also do this as her way of telling me to be more curious, driving me to dig deeper to whatever I want to know. 7. The teen-aged part. This one kind of represents the teen me who lives in a controlling environment. I remember when this part showed up as somebody who's in front of the crowd. She wants to be free and be allowed to live life as a normal human being. What I mean is, she doesn't want to be performer all the time. She needs space and do other things the give her joy. 8. The no audio part. We used to call this part a "no audio" because she's often in silence. The first time I heard something from her is amazing and I was so grateful that she was able to say some things that she wanted me to know. Often, however, she's communicating through movements, bodilysensations, or emotions, not in a verbal manner. 9. The heavy part. This one is a little similar to the no audio part. The difference is that, the heavy part is having more difficulty expressing what she wants to tell me. I am not sure yet if she is confused or hesitant or what. I think we still gotta explore it further. 10. The on-guard child part. She's similar to the firefighter part in the sense that it's trying to protect me from other people. She's a female but she acts in a masculine manner. She's aggressive and might really harm other people if she's given a chance to do so. And, there are lots of parts that showed up. We haven't name them yet because those parts were not revealing themselves that much. Maybe I have to earn their trust to my Self first. I can also relate to the meeting room, although my therapist used a conference room. There, I was able to talk to many parts that I have.

Thank you for sharing about IFS!

I can't thank you enough for being so vulnerable & sharing your experience...exactly what I needed to hear in this very moment; you've given me a renewed sense of hope for my healing!!! ❤❤❤

THANK YOU for your vulnerability!!! As a therapist, I have also been interested in this therapy and have done some training on it, but have not taken the leap into doing my own work using this modality. Maybe that will be something that I look into as an intro to IFS for my practice. Thank you again!

Thank you for this video. When you were talking about the parts of you that feel ignored, I started to get emotional cause I feel like there are parts of me that I ignore as well. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable.

This was very interesting. I grew up in a narcissist family and have almost no memories of child me, teen me, etc. I have stuffed memories and emotions my whole life. I truly believe that I would be totally alone in my meeting place, as I am in my actual life. It's really sad to say that. However, my meeting place would be on a patio with gorgeous views of the mountains and the ocean. Even if I am there alone, I will enjoy the vistas.

I did IFS work with a therapist while waiting for DID treatment. It helped, and it didn't. I was able to identify and work through the basic pathology of each alter, but that exacerbated some of the symptoms. Without trauma support and coaching to treat DID symptoms, my dissociation became much worse. I slip in/out of my body much more frequently and intensely now, whereas I was able to co-host before. On the positive side, I am less frightened about what is going on inside my mind, and have learned to trust more pieces of myself and their role in the homeostasis of my psyche.

Love IFS. One thing I was told, (well a couple) is to always thank the parts for talking with you. Or even asking if they want to talk to you, or with each other. Some of the parts you might not see in a positive light still have a purpose; even if it's method of doing things isn't "helpful", but that part still loves you and it's trying. I was asked to inquire if that part wasn't allowed to do it's job, what is it afraid might happen. Then say something like "Hey, I appreciate what you are trying to do. Would you be open to trying x y z?" I love how your therapist ends your session. Anyhow, great job as always! Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable.

Thank you for your willingness to be open about your parts. I've been doing IFS with myself and my clients for many years. It is absolutely the most powerful healing modality I've encountered in 36 years of recovery. So happy for you and your parts.

I'm in Trauma therapy right now working through IFS therapy. It's amazing! (But difficult to get my mind around:) I have spent my life with contradictory thoughts and feelings and feeling crazzzzy! These parts really explain the WHY. It's...wow. ❤

IFS is life changing! As a therapist who uses IFS and also seek therapy for it, I can honestly say I've never seen healing like this before!

Thanks. I think IFS is about parts, how parts relate to each other, and patterns of parts activity sequences. Sometimes parts polarize and create internal conflicts with enormous impact. “Treat the system, not the symptom. IFS training is worth the investment.

This is what I've been working with lately and it resonates so much in what you're saying. First time I had EMDR in 2018-2019 I experienced age regression for the first time and there was 5-y/o me that got locked in a dark basement. She's clingy, needy, terrified and thinks everyone is going to leave her. I started EMDR again last year in april, and I thought it was going well until autumn came and just an explosion of things started to happen. And it was after feeling the 5 year old surface more and more, my therapist asked me to think up a safe place where I could take her, where other parts of me where welcome as well. So far, other than the 5 year old, the 14-year old and another part of me that we refer to as Stinky(because it kinda looks like a little black animal and reminded me of Stinky from Moomin). the 14-year old is a lot like you describe your teenager, a lot of unhinged emotions, lashing out, passive aggressive, she'd typically say "No I'm fine, whatever, I don't care" when she'd really need a hug because she feels distraught, sad and lonely. Stinky started to surface during DBR when we focused on my clinical back pain/muscle knots. My therapist asked me to describe how it looked/acted if I tried to bring it with me to the safe place, and it reacted like a feral cat, claws out, angry, defensive, scared. It doesn't understand that I wanted to help it. I'm still uncovering things about it, and I have a feeling that there's more parts of me to discover. There was a glimps in the safe place of Mother me; whom's lap the five year old where sitting in. Honestly this is such a crazy and fascinating thing to experience and learn about, and it's kinda how I found your channel, because I was researching what was going on with me and I found your video "signs that you have childhood wound".

Loved that you’re sharing about your parts process. Please bring the full IFS protocol to your audience and get a fully IFS trained therapist as there are some crucial safety steps missing from the process you’ve described. I have had an amazing healing journey doing self led IFS at home and in Australia it’s hard to find fully IFS trained therapists but RU-vid has some great demo sessions by the guy who developed the model and there seems to be a big gap between other’parts work’ models and the deeply structured, compassionate and insightful Internal Family Systems model.

A little bit ago I read Looking Through the Eyes of Trauma and Dissociation and it was interesting using IFS with DID also with Trauma work and it helped me understand a lot of stuff. Growing up I had to ignore a lot of my different emotions now I’m trying more to hear them and not shut them out.

This video was very beneficial for me on my own IFS journey. I would really love to see Katie interview the founder of IFS modality Dr. Richard Schwartz.

Hi Katie, idk how to feel about this situation. I got the courage to start therapy and I met with a teletherapist who really took me off guard. She didn’t have any politeness, no {thank you for being here, that sounds difficult, I’m sorry for your loss, it’s nice to meet you}. I considered myself polite and answered all the deep/hard questions she asked for intake as honestly as I could. She didn’t leave any room for anything. I told her my brother died in 2021 and she replied, “that’s a long time sweetie. You need to move on.” I shared something about my parents and she said “well we date our parents.” I hadn’t brought up dating at all. She told me I gave her nothing to work with if I didn’t answer questions and I told her, I feel that I just answered quite a few personal questions. She said she yells at her patients to encourage them. I told her that would be triggering for me. I feel violated. Like I felt like I was with a narcissist and people pleasing to allow her to finish the session with me. I feel disgusted. I am ashamed for letting her in on so many personal details for her to react so quickly and harshly. What do I do?

As a highly imaginative kid, ifs has been very accessible to me and so hard and helpful

Your therapist sounds like an A+ professional. Wow!

I have been a subscriber since the early days Kati, and parts of me are relieved to hear about your current journey, the clarity that you are getting through IFS, and want to extend a lot of compassion to your teenager, appreciation for the party loving; the adult for the all the work it does - and a kindhearted acknowledgement for the peace-making child. I hope they're willing and open to receiving it : ) Blessings

I loved listening to your version of your IFS. I call mine: the farmer, roaring lion, grandma, and a few others. Learning this has helped me in huge ways. Good luck with your process.

Interestingly, for me, some child parts were still “in charge” in some areas and try to handle my anxieties. Adult me has to remind them that we’re good now. Thank you for keeping me safe in the past, but I got it now!

I’ve been waiting for this!!! IFS truly has changed my life for the better.

I'm so glad to hear you talk about this! I just started doing IFS. I feel like IFS acknowledged and validated my feelings and their causes while still helping me feel that I can resolve them, and then I can be actionable too without feeling that doing something different invalidates what past me is holding.

This was excellent - thank you, Katie! I’ve been doing parts work with my therapist off and on for a few years now. It’s especially helpful when I’m having trouble figuring out how I FEEL about something. My meeting place is a comfortable bench in a quiet park at dusk. My Problem Solver part dominates. As soon as my Sadness/Grief Holder part or my Angry part manage to be heard, my Problem Solver jumps in with a path toward resolution. My therapist frequently has to remind me to pause and FEEL the feelings, see where they lead me, thank the exiled part for bringing them to me, etc. My Carefree Child part doesn’t get to come out very often. I watch over her and feel a great deal of affection for her; I think I’m afraid to let her out for fear she’ll get hurt. Feeling out of control is a big trouble spot for me as well. I’m working on corrective experiences where I take myself to a concert or fly out to visit a friend and don't feel guilty about overspending. I'm getting more and more comfortable with the fact that the world continues to spin on its axis, and splurging isn't dangerous. Parts work is fantastic! I hope you'll keep posting about your personal journey with it. Thanks again for sharing 💐

Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been going through emdr but we are going to be incorporating ifs into my therapy. This is so helpful to see.

Hey Kati. Very interesting ideas, something to chew on for sure. I just want to thank you and your crew for all the hard work you put into these videos. Four years ago you were brought into my life helping me navigate therapy meds and emotions. You’re awesome and bless you and you loved ones.

Ive never heard of this,but I am completing this in a google doc for growths sake and...wow. The conceptualization of this is very very helpful.

Ohhh myyy goodnesss! This is such a HUGE GAME CHANGER!!! Kati! I’m having my therapist see this tomorrow when I see her. I hope she knows about this? Thank you for sharing this, so educational!!! ❤

Recently got a new therapist, she has me doing parts.

I'm doing this therapy too and its changed my life

I sincerely admire the fact that you are so vulnerable and open about yourself by posting this video with the intention of helping others, like myself. Not many people do that! Additionally, you explain the concept in such a clear way that it is very accessible for people to learn from, and you do so without making the explanation too lengthy, which is also admirable. Keep it up! I am definitely interested in what you post!!!

Thank you for sharing this video and for being so open about yourself 💞!

I just want to say that I found your channel when I was in my late teens/early 20s (I'm now 28 years old) and your content has been so helpful throughout these years. I just recently started listening to "Ask Katie Anything" and absolutely love it! But I saw your IG reel on IFS and was so excited to see you make content on this. I've been in therapy since I was about 19 years old but went through about 4 to 5 years of seeing a very toxic therapist who didn't have boundaries. Very long story, but younger me didn't realize or understand how unethical she was acting. BUT I eventually found a trauma therapist who is trained in IFS, and after 2 years of treatment using IFS, I feel like a brand-new person. It has been the most helpful treatment for my own experience with PTSD yet. THANK YOU for using your platform to bring people's awareness to this type of therapy. It is immensely helpful. Btw, I totally get the tears... I find myself unexpectedly crying during these sessions too! It's almost relieving. And again--appreciate you lots as always! ❤

The past few days have been rough (rlly depressed) When I went on a drive with my mum today I was really processing the information you said in the video and had saved my life thank you so much kati ❤ I always have hope things will get better ☺️

This is super helpful. Thank you for sharing your experience. My mind is resistant to parts work, but understanding it better usually helps me relax into the process.

Katie thank you so much for explaining this and being open about your own experiences. I have been trying parts work in therapy and it has been a game changer. Thank you for being so open. 😊

I’ve been doing IFS with my therapist for the past 5 years. I like it a lot, it’s been great for treating my childhood issues!

Thank you so much for your vulnerability and authenticity. Wishing you the best on your IFS adventure.

I love how transparent you were here. Makes me want to look up IFS training. Thank you so much; I will share this with my school. Keep up the great work.

I found this video super helpful!

This is FANTASTIC!!! Thank you for doing this and all your videos AND for sharing you with us.

Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this. It spoke to me I’m strongly, considering looking at IFS myself.

As a fan, and as an LMFT, it’s been hard watching you suffer for so many years. I’ve been deeply hoping you found your way to IFS. I knew it would be helpful to you (as it was for me). Yay! 🎉

Fabulous! For an "emotions container," how about this: "The Containment Unit (also known as as the Ecto-Containment System, Storage Facility and Protection Grid) is located in the basement of the Firehouse. It is a large, laser-confinement grid that holds and restrains all the vapors and entities that the Ghostbusters trap." (Ghostbusters Wiki)

Thank you for sharing your journey. Hearing this was exactly what I needed today as a reminder that there is a way forward. I'm going to explore more about Parts Work and see how it can help me. Thank you again for all that you do. You've made a difference in my life.

Thank you SO much for sharing your process and experience with IFS! It’s really helped me visualize how I can apply this idea to my experiences.

I really appreciate this video! Providing examples really help me understand IFS better. Thank you for being vulnerable to help in the educational process!

I love parts work. Im a therapist, and I created a whole therapy card deck about it!

Kati thanks for being you , yourself . I could never let myself be the party teen , only when I did alcohol or pot smoking , to be myself is really to be a quite person who really doesn’t want stress or anything out of control . Now I I know that I am on the autistic spectrum which explains why people are stressful and loud things cause me way to much stress .

I hear you, Kati. This is a very relatable. I always say that I'm "in a box" and I can't be authentic because it would be irresponsible and I could loose control. Being driven and having a hard time growing up (aka, being broke) it's hard to loosen the reigns. The pain of progress and responsibility. And being a woman.

Thank you very much for this video, Kati. For explaining the parts work, but also letting us in on some of yours. I'm sorry that you are not in a place you want to be in or at at the moment. I would love to try this out one day. Over the last few years, more 'parts' of me formed or became more clear. And a few of them don't get along very well as well. One I actually ignore because I'm scared to get overwhelmed by it, similar to your experience. I don't think I will be able to or should work with them alone, but maybe I could at least look out if I have met 'everyone' yet.

There is a scene in the showtime show called United States of Tara. I think it was in Showtime. That was about DID. The scene is Tara, played by Toni Collette sitting at a table with all her alters. This show came out when I first was diagnosed with DID, and this scene was funny, yet I finally understood myself.

I’m in the uk an watch your videos since my sessions ended. Thank you so much for what you post it really helps a bunch, this one is amazing, I’d like to try it.

I didn't like parts work when my therapist first introduced it to me. But after watching you and other therapists break it down for me, I am starting to really like it. I started a map/org chart. I definitely want to create a container and a meeting place now. Thanks for sharing.

❤ excellent video! I love Internal Family Systems

Thank you for sharing this piece of your therapy, it's always interesting to listen to personal experiences. My therapist use parts work and I like it a lot, even if sometimes it's not easy to not concide with some of them (usually the harsh ones) I didn't do the meeting place, but we use the chairs in her office, she also has a cute child-size one for the youngest parts. I drew them and encourage anyone to do it, no matter if you "don't know how to draw", it's incredible how many infomrations about them a simple drawing, a collage or just some shapes and colors can give about them.

In my own practice I have been using the idea that we are a board of directors. Then someone turned me on to the IFS model. I am so stoked. It really validated what I have been working with. 2 parts I particularly focus on is the one who represent the drugs or alcohol. The other is the one that represents recovery. Particularly the one we see as addiction we move to understanding that it is really the voice of unconditional survival. When I worked on looking at my own board of directors I think I identified about 15 parts that all serve a purpose and aspect of myself like the wounded warrior from the things I went through in the Military to the Bag of Monkeys (My ADHD) to the father to the rebel child, all contribute a vote on things based on their respective part of me. This was wicked awesome. I really enjoy your information. I am a Substance Use Counselor who is retired Navy, who experiences PTST and was diagnosed with ADHD when I was older. I see life as an adventure, each day I am experiencing a new and diffrent version of myself that I have absolutely no experience with. Thank you!

Thank you for your amazing vulnerability. This was an excellent intro to IFS!

I read about this some days ago and i found it very interesting. To me it looked a little bit like the different alter egos in DID, but not as "marked". And very curious to learn more about this😊

Wow, just wow…. Thank you Kati… Will be talking to my therapist about this and sharing this video with her. Future updates coming…😉🙏🏼

Kati, I felt joyful watching this video of yours. I guess the Teen Kati and Fun Kati were present in your energy, because they did definitely make me enriched with an immense amount of joy!

Thank you so much for this ❤

That makes a lot of sense.

I love your content , I get to see what a doc might see in me. I have no polar , BPD and a fw different issues. I have had to go to my vacation at the hospital. Lol but I'm still alive after 57 years and my wife and my two friends I will make it longer than that!!! 🤗 Love Ya

Thank you! So very helpful! ❤

Well Done!! 👏👏👏

I have been building and creating a story that has been my baby-- my main reason to keep going. I have such big dreams and high hopes for it and struggle with my sensitivity to criticism. I always knew that I "wrote what I knew" by putting aspects of myself into everyone and everything, but it was only when my therapist recently introduced Parts Work to me that I realzied the intensity of that. These past several sessions, he has been trying to incorporate Parts Work by asking me "What part of you do you think was triggered at that moment?" and "How would (Character Name) feel about that?". Even if it gets a bit silly, it has also been so incredibly powerful and the raw emotions that you have expressed here have deeply touched me. What particularly struck a chord with me was the description of your "Child Self", because mine is very similar. The "Adult Part" of me is also very similar-- anything remotely seen as "childish" or "unnecessary" is harshly and quickly shut down then berated and shamed. This reminds me a lot of Inner Child work and The Family Systems. I think these would be very useful with PTSD patients as well as those with personality disorders.

Awesome video! Sounds like you had an amazing IFS Therapy session. I love how you described the three main types of parts: Managers (adult you), Firefighters (child you -trying to keep the peace), and Exiles (teen you and party you). I wonder if those watching the video identified these three main types of parts on themselves and which parts were they? Also, which part do you feel was the most wounded one? I am asking because healing this wounded part is a central focus of IFS therapy, as it allows for the transformation of pain and the fostering of a more harmonious internal system.

This is really interesting. I tried to imagine my own meeting space and parts, and turns out everyone REALLY doesn't like child me when she turns up. Huh. I'll have to bring that up in therapy this week. Thanks for the inspiration, Kati!

16:45 trauma somatic therapy is night and day over talk cognitive therapy. I feel like breakthrough of healing neuroscience and creating new pathways and tapping into body response with a safe trauma therapist is so integrating to my parts! I think my parts hid for 30yrs during talk therapy. My talk therapists at no fault of their own didn't have the capacity to help me integrate my parts and heal from flashbacks that plagued me most of my life. I have hope now that I might cultivate a secure attachment style and be self regulated on a daily basis. ☺️

Creative ❤😍 This is phenomenal. I will create space where I will try to meet ego, anima, person, individ and my existence. Should be good event.🥰😁I really love them. To stay honest with self is the key but If there is someone between you and your brain 🧠 then probably this is reason of losing comfort inside. If you do not agree with resistance, it will remain in memory forever. How to understand this someone is my problem!

This is fab. I’ve become obsessed with IFS since learning about it last year. In my own therapy I tend to say a part of me feels x or y about z, so to me IFS just makes sense. I’m a trainee therapist and it’s hit me why one of our lecturers (who really shouldn’t be a lecturer as so much projection from her). However complaints about her are ignored. Anyway it has hit me listening to this why it’s impacted me so much - struggled a lot in school, and it’s brought up of my feeling like a failure part. Lots of discussion there for my next session 😂

My sensory issues/seeking come in the form of a pacing panther. Her name is Salem. ❤❤❤ Happy Salem plays. Agitated Salem is on the verge of a meltdown and she bites when she's stressed. Salem is my favorite one, but I do need to learn to love the others. I've only met two so far. I've met Salem and Agapé (my neglected inner child). Time to dive into the Ether and find the others.

Thank you

I did IFS and parts work for a while, and I loved it. Wish I could go back, but there isn’t anyone in my area that says they do it.

After watching this I asked my therapist tonight about doing this. She said we have been dipping my toes in it a little bit already which I thought was the case and we have been doing EMDR. We agreed it would be good to do this in a more structured way. So tonight we made myself a new safe place, as my previous one got invaded by my SA brother. This one is a beach hut on a tropical island lol😂. I already have a big box I lock things away in until our next session. I imagined my meeting place which was a cafe, but one with cats and kittens in, and we had a go at inviting any part of me that wanted to come in. My very young child part of me Amelia was first in. She is very controlling and doesn’t like anger. It will be interesting how it goes as my therapist thinks she won’t want anyone else in there, especially the very angry teen me.

@Kati Morton Thank you so much for all that you do! Your content has been so helpful as I navigate my job as a Sexual Violence Counselor! It has also been very helpful in helping me grow 🙂

I have been doing IFS therapy with my counselor. It's been great for me because I am a writer/creative type person, and these parts are "characters" in my own story. It's easier for me to relate to them when I can see them and visualize them. So far I have five parts uncovered. If you're thinking about doing IFS, maybe these will help you figure out your parts. I needed examples when I got started. Fairness Police -- a five year old who's just old enough to understand the concept of fairness. Because she's my youngest part, she's been around for a very long time, and she's the hardest one to calm down because she doesn't understand adult concepts. She walks around with pigtails and a megaphone yelling THAT'S NOT FAIR! or YOU'RE MEAN! I spend a lot of time sitting with her and letting her cry everything out because there's not much that she has the power to fix or change. The Perfectionist -- around 11 years old who knows that if I am perfect, I won't get yelled at, but at the same time is so destroyed by performance anxiety and shattered nerves that anything I try I screw up because I'm so anxious to do well, make my parents happy, and not get yelled at. She's the self-fulfilling prophecy. So far, out of all my parts, she's the easiest one to calm because she has truth, evidence, and facts that I am talented and smart and don't have to be perfect because perfect is impossible. The Indignant One -- my teenage self who is somewhat rebellious and pushing boundaries and thinks everybody is a dumbass because they don't see how cool I am. I like this part the best because she was me before everyone and everything started shoving me down. Creative, funny, quirky, silly, and kind and unafraid to stand out or take chances. Mama Bear -- this is an older adult version of myself who wants to throat punch everyone who messes with any of my parts. She's the protector I wish I had growing up. Sometimes I call her a valkyrie or a nightclub bouncer because she takes no shit from anyone and wants to hit back. She has had enough of the bullies. The Inner Critic -- I hate this thing. It's a combination of all the nasty voices who put me down and abused me, neglected me. It's a dark, opaque black goo that covers over everything and sucks out any bit of joy or pleasure I allow myself. It's that quiet voice that pops up in moments of silence that sends me spiralling into bad moods. It won't let me enjoy anything. My counselor and I have been trying to work with this part a lot lately. It's so engrained in me that bringing it out changes my demeanor and makes me exhausted when the session is over. So yeah, IFS is great and has done a lot to help me understand myself. I hightly recommend it if you can find a therapist who will help you with it. Being able to sit with myself and pinpoint which part is upset helps me get over the hurt/anger/rage a lot faster. What might have taken me days to get over only takes hours. It's so worth it. Thank you, Kati. I hope my comment helps someone who is struggling.

14:24 I love putting them away at the end lol. We tuck them in somewhere safe at the end of the season. Like little balls in a bed

My therapist says it's a long slow process. I was not able to map or really get co-consciousness with all parts. I'm still struggling with reaching parts. My biggest issue is resistance in general. Yet I think I realized that I need to create internal boundaries. Resistance to sleeping, sleep is unsafe and vulnerable. Still working on that. I get what you're saying about control vs being out of control. I don't like to feel connection with my therapist. My child parts have cried telling her they miss her, I miss her, yet I don't get it because I see her weekly. We do Zoom since she moved 2 hr 30 min away. Kati, would love to have this as a weekly or monthly meet up to talk about experiences with parts work...or IFS. Thanks for doing this. Hearing your experiences have inspired me to do a bit more.

14:05 Container Therapy exercise I also practice the same technique... it was critical as a foundation to manage accessing initial and potentially overwhelming memories, traumas...

My therapist had also asked me to imagine a container and store my bad feelings inside. Mine was a wooden pirate chest,with the sand and limpets and all!

I just started parts therapy today. I am excited and just trying to take things slow.

The only one that comes up for me is Vulnerability 😘 My whole life I've had tremendous difficulty with vulnerabilities and, openly expressing them with a person 💗 .. A big part of that might be down to the fact that I'm Autistic. A little similar to you Kati I like to be in control said with respect and kindness

I have been doing parts work with my therapist for a little while too. It is hard though. My friend has a great way of putting it; “Brain too loud” Simple but I dont know if anyone else can identify with that

I’d love recommendations for additional resources for Parts work. I’ve heard offhanded comments in videos before now about things like Firefighters in Exile (Firefighters that are considered too troublesome so the rest of the system exiles them), and tidbits for things like all of your Parts believing that the Self is actually a Part too (they don’t recognize the Self as being the Self). I’ve never been able to find references to things like this in books or RU-vid info videos, but if anyone happens to know any resources that talks about these kinds of things I’d be extremely grateful for the help and suggestions! 🙏🏻💖✨

as an nlp therapist i find that many issues especially the timeline therapy is very corresponding to ifs. we call it feelings and automation ifs calls it parts. but its very digestable to me. kinda diferent views of same machining

Thanks for your testimony ❤Mam