Dumelang🔥🔥🙏🙏 Unexpectedly different views. I respect both speakers and I think both speakers are broken . We are all broken . We need healing. Love is an important factor in everyone's life's. I love you both . God bless you both. Ngiphelela lapho. Looking forward to the next guest.
This was short and fun listening to. This world would be boring if we all shared the same values. It is natural for mankind to find their own path since life is not a one size fits all.
This has been an eye-opener for me. Kagiso mind and standing point are very powerful. As a young dad myself, he had me questioning my parenting skills But overall, this has been one of the best episodes you have done ✔️ 👌 please bring him again
Thoroughly enjoyed this episode, big fan of both sides of the conversation. Don't fully agree but I understand everything. Parenting, Marriage, Fatherhood and Motherhood is a institution that needs an open mind and requires alot of flexibility. Loved the conversation. Bigs up Kg and Pen
The Penuel Show with Kagiso Sebediela Timestamps 00:00 - Intro 00:05 - Marriage 02:00 - Parenthood - Parenting styles 04:55 - How my parenting style came about 06:15 - Current genaration of fathers 10:02 - Psychology 16:10 - Importance of being a present father 18:25 - 'Dope Black Fathers' group - Social problems we strive to alleviate 24:00 - Thoughts on masculinity - Masculinity &fatherhood 32:25 - Impact women have on fatherhood 39:45 - Modern parenting - Family traditions & beliefs 43:50 - Thoughts on fathers with multiple baby mothers 45:50 - Thoughts on having sons 47:05 - Wish for parents 51:50 - Kagiso's thoughts 57:25 - ENDS
If you gonna bring kids into this world then you do what’s best for them not you. So marriage is an act of selflessness, which is a trait that essential in parenthood.
Thanks Pen. I follow you on probably all your platforms and I highly enjoy your content or your way of thinking. Shout to you and may the channel grow, grow and grow ✊🏽
This is a very good and needed conversation and I really enjoyed it. I wouldn't do almost anything that kg does but it's his life and he should live it as he pleases. As for me I believe truly in the man in me and although I'm not anywhere near of where I want to be as a man but my goal his to steer me in that direction.
Another great vlog. I am a newbie to your platform, so I am catching up on the previous vlogs; I am loving and learning. This is a candid interview - kudos!!! Mr KS is a hands on dad. He's very well spoken and outspoken, if I may say, and articulate too. #MorePower2ThePen. Jah Bless!!!
Yooo, lobhuti, cha uyawusebenzisa umqondo wakhe ngendlela engajwayelekile. I have interestingly shared this with ubaba wabantwana bami. You see, with these kinds of conversations, it's never an issue of agreeing or disagreeing, sometimes it's just a learning curve. Njengoba thina banye singavumelani nakho konke okushiwo (beliefs) uPen, but siyamlandela ngoba kuningi esikufundayo kuye and through him. Asbonge🙌🏿
The are literally studies which have been well researched & documented that children who are bought up in marriage fair better in life than those born out of wedlock. Marriage is not about u it’s about YOUR kids.
So I must marry for my kids wtf are you saying what about my happiness and what I want, and also studies says more kids who are raised by single mothers turn to
@@Penuelism Marriage! Parents who are not married but live together tend to separate around age 4, hence the reason why you'd hardly find a couple abakipitayo growing old together. To be honest I've never seen one myself.
@@vusmuzimasilela2358 Yes, marriage is primarily about kids and legacy as a couple, not love. Love and marriage were only conjoined in the 1800 with the emergence of Romanticism by poets nabanye omahlalela (A philosopher by the name of Alain De Botton explains it perfectly). Been married for more than 8 years myself and that realization made me a better husband. I finally understood that a lot of things I'll have to do in my marriage are out of duty not love. I help around in the house not because I love it but because it's necessary to ensure that my wife is not over burdened by house chores.
This was a nice conversation, i feel like the conversation could’ve gone deeper unfortunately it was kept very surface level but nonetheless thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
One thing we tend to forget as people is that we're inherently subjective in our perception of reality, a lot of what your guest is saying seems to justify his current life style instead of being objective and truthful. A lot of his opinions stem from 'Luxury Beliefs' --ideas and opinions that confer status on the upper class, while often inflicting costs on the lower classes-- instead of reality. There's so many things that are unfounded regarding marriage, religion and culture but sizokukhuluma lokho ngelinye ilanga. Great conversation though, hopefully 18 years from now you'll invite him to share with us how his kids have tuned out as adults.
This was low key a mind fuck. Lol. I am surprised (pleasantly) by how relatable I found a lot of points in the conversation. I’m not at Kagiso’s level of fluidity of thought and rather simple cognitive process of information. Quite refreshing.
Mr Pen, I'd like to propose a view... all of the most amalgamated and power cultures in the world are tied together by 3 things and they hold them dearly. 1. Language; 2. Spirituality; 3. Customs. Black people have allowed everyone else to come and spit on ours and that's why we are the world's carpet - they walk all over us. Muslims hold their language, spirituality and customs dearly - it even dictates whom they can and can't marry and the conditions of that. Jewish people are the same as well as Roman Catholics but the latter has been diluted. When people conquered others they enforced those 3 things on them. Are you umZulu if you don't speak isiZulu, don't practice Zulu spirituality nor Zulu customs. If not, then what is umZulu/Xhosa/Tswana etc? This will be an important question in the next few decades. SA is changing and because we don't have an identity we don't have a direction. We are rudderless. That's why ANC can do this to us - what do we even believe in? Mxm argh... I've digressed
I was raised in a family where my parents were married from 1970 until he died in 2019. They had 4 children me being the 3rd and decided my mom was a stay at home mom even though he worked for home affairs. They had different personalities- my mom was and is still is on the loud side. Its no surprise that ive been married for 25 years and i still have not killed him cause thats all i know😂 Marriage is HARD work. it takes emotional, psychological and resources to keep going. No its not miserable but its not flowers and chocolates. Love, endurance, and wanting stability that both parents yearn for helps them to hold on and keep working on making these strangers from different backgrounds pursue love and peace and solve problems amicably.
Marriage is not a cure for abusive and irresponsible father's, they can be just as bad if not worse than any man off the street. Don't marry them in the hope that love will make him better.
Benefit of marriage : IT CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE. Married people live longer and healthier lives. The power of marriage is particularly evident in late middle age. When Linda Waite and a colleague, for example, analyzed mortality differentials in a very large, nationally representative sample, they found an astonishingly large "marriage gap" in longevity: nine out of ten married guys who are alive at 48 will make it to age 65, compared with just six in ten comparable single guys (controlling for race, education, and income). For women, the protective benefits of marriage are also powerful, though not quite as large. Nine out of ten wives alive at age 48 will live to be senior citizens, compared with just eight out of ten divorced and single women.
Sometimes things don’t have to make sense as long it feels right but again it’s my opinion. Somewhere somehow u can’t just ube ngumntu njee ophilayo I mean u can’t haybo. Children bazoba empty xa be badlala Nd lost guys. We must not do this to our children. Imali ibenza confused abantu abamnyama 🤷🏽♀️
I completely agree with you Thembi, culture is important, somethings can not be explained with logic but are still important because not everything is logical. There are more dimensions to this life then just logic, or brainpower. Most educated people struggle with understanding this.
@@lethiwesithole mmmhh uybeke kakuhle haaz. We have a beautiful culture/Spirituality that we should embrace and it works for blacks Nd yet we turn a blind eye coz sibona imali ngku. Mxm si weak maan
@@tshepotshepza8866 But why must we always revert to the type of woman. Its the laws! That is what the conversation needs to be more about. The truth is a marriage is more likely to fail than succeed.
@@oratilemasala9470 i mentioned the type of woman because i was responding to a man's comment, i was in no way saying men are all perfect. Women too need to be mindful of the type of guy they choose to marry. Why do you say marriage is more likely to fail, what factors are you looking at?
statistical analysis has shown that 80% plus women are the ones that file for divorce, and besides that, u will never know a person a 100% but when things go south who gets kicked out the house, who pays maintenance as a men there is alot to lose than females n the excuse used everytime is " in the interest of the child" ... Mina personally, there is nothing to benefit in getting married
My brother would say similar statements about marriage... With that "MY BELIEF", "I DON'T" etc-etc... And I'd often ask him ukuba how is it that you want to apply/impose your beliefs on things that affect other people who might not have the same beliefs... It's like believing that because you are Right-Handed therefore you will drive (your car) on the right side/lane on a road that has other drivers, someone of which might have the same beliefs, and some might not... I guess, what I'm trying to say is, what should we replace marriage with, which is a system/regime that would be common to beliefs of all or the majority?... Because, I believe even the current marriage system/regime was designed/developed by those who came before us, IT DIDN'T COME FROM HEAVEN (or something of that sort)... 'Sorry, I'm just 10min into the video... ❤
But because marriage is a partnership in the whole of life, backed up by family, community, and religious values, marriage can do what economic partnerships don't: give a greater sense of meaning and purpose to life (a reason to exercise or cut back on booze, work harder, and to keep plugging even in the middle of those times when the marriage may not feel gratifying at all). Married people are both responsible for and responsible to another human being, and both halves of that dynamic lead the married to live more responsible, fruitful, and satisfying lives. Marriage is a transformative act, changing the way two people look at each other, at the future, and at their roles in society. And it changes the way significant others-from family to congregation to insurance companies and the IRS-look at and treat that same couple. Sexual fidelity, an economic union, a parenting alliance, the promise of care that transcends day-to-day emotions: all these are what give a few words mumbled before a clergyman or judge the power to change lives.
IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY. For most people, the joys of the single life and of divorce are overrated. Overall, 40 percent of married people, compared with about a quarter of singles or cohabitors, say they are "very happy" with life in general. Married people are also only about half as likely as singles or cohabitors to say they are unhappy with their lives.
Selfish and inconsiderate. Once you give a woman your seed, you're simultaneously decreasing her value and chances of her getting married. We know how tough finding love and marriage is for women with kids, and doing so intentionally is just not on bafwethu, we can do better as men.
What proportion of unhappily married couples who stick it out stay miserable? The latest data show that within five years, just 12 percent of very unhappily married couples who stick it out are still unhappy; 70 percent of the unhappiest couples now describe their marriage as "very" or "quite" happy. Just as good marriages go bad, bad marriages go good. And they have a better chance of doing so in a society that recognizes the value of marriage than one that sings the statistically dubious joys of divorce.
Abize abo Enhle Mbali to tell him how he’s part of the rape culture like she did with Sol on Kaya? They can be toxic. At least most men here come to build is and not trash us
DID I MENTION YOU'LL GET MUCH RICHER? Married people not only make more money, they manage money better and build more wealth together than either would alone. At identical income levels, for example, married people are less likely to report "economic hardship" or trouble paying basic bills. The longer you stay married, the more assets you build; by contrast, length of cohabitation has no relationship to wealth accumulation
YOU WON'T GO BONKERS. Marriage is good for your mental health. Married men and women are less depressed, less anxious, and less psychologically distressed than single, divorced, or widow . By contrast, getting divorced lowers both men's and women's mental health, increasing depression and hostility, and lowering one's self-esteem and sense of personal mastery and purpose in life.
IT CAN SAVE YOUR KID'S LIFE. Children lead healthier, longer lives if parents get and stay married. Adults who fret about second-hand smoke and drunk driving would do well to focus at least some of their attention on this point. In one long-term study that followed a sample of highly advantaged children (middle-class whites with IQs of at least 135) up through their seventies, a parent's divorce knocked four years off the adult child's life expectancy. Forty-year-olds from divorced homes were three times more likely to die from all causes than 40-year-olds whose parents stayed married.
YOUR KIDS WILL LOVE YOU MORE. Divorce weakens the bonds between parents and children over the long run. Adult children of divorce describe relationships with both their mother and their father less positively, on average, and they are about 40 percent less likely than adults from intact marriages to say they see either parent at least several times a week.
YOU WILL EARN MORE MONEY. Men today tend to think of marriage as a consumption item-a financial burden. But a broad and deep body of scientific literature suggests that for men especially, marriage is a productive institution-as important as education in boosting a man's earnings. In fact, getting a wife may increase an American male's salary by about as much as a college education. Married men make, by some estimates, as much as 40 percent more money than comparable single guys, even after controlling for education and job history. The longer a man stays married, the higher the marriage premium he receives. Wives' earnings also benefit from marriage, but they decline when motherhood enters the picture. Childless white wives get a marriage wage premium of 4 percent, and black wives earn 10 percent more than comparable single women.
Hmmmm i wonder if this people don't wanna get married because they have been broken or they have always felt like they are never gonna get married.... 1.2 is it because of fear??
Married men are only half as likely as bachelors and one-third as likely as divorced guys to take their own lives. Wives are also much less likely to commit suicide than single, divorced, or widowed women. Married people are much less likely to have problems with alcohol abuse or illegal drugs. In a recent national survey, one out of four single men ages 19 to 26 say their drinking causes them problems at work or problems with aggression, compared with just one out of seven married guys this age.
How happy are the divorced? If people divorce in order to be happy, as we are often told, the majority should demand their money back. Just 18 percent of divorced adults say they are "very happy," and divorced adults are twice as likely as married folk to say they are "not too happy" with life in general. Only a minority of divorcing adults go on to make marriages that are happier than the one they left. "Divorce or be miserable," certain cultural voices tell us, but, truth be told, "Divorce and be miserable" is at least as likely an outcome.
This guy is not happy and his views are a projection of his demons that he fights , because of his upbringing i can reflect alot who he is and i can understand where his coming from, but he also grew to be arrogant and has believed to think he is all things and all powerful. I can foresee the struggle woman have with him and based on the ideas he holds.
YOU'LL TAME HIS CHEATIN' HEART (HERS, TOO). Marriage increases sexual fidelity. Cohabiting men are four times more likely to cheat than husbands, and cohabiting women are eight times more likely to cheat than wives. Marriage is also the only realistic promise of permanence in a romantic relationship. Just one out of ten cohabiting couples are still cohabiting after five years. By contrast, 80 percent of couples marrying for the first time are still married five years later, and close to 60 percent (if current divorce rates continue) will marry for life. One British study found that biological parents who marry are three times more likely still to be together two years later than biological two-parent families who cohabit, even after controlling for maternal age, education, economic hardship, previous relationship failure, depression, and relationship quality. Marriage may be riskier than it once was, but when it comes to making love last, there is still no better bet.
I must admit that Kagiso has lost his way. There is no value in this self-autonomous God complex type of thinking. Logic comes from the natural mind and there is a limit to how the natural mind functions. A relationship expert shouldn't be indifferent to something as simple but complex as love.
Itumeleng is your point of view from a Christian perspective? It is highly unfair to impose such statements to non-believers, most Christians tend to pass condescending comments to other belief systems. As a people we need to be open minded and accept that we are different for a reason. If that makes him happy, why do we have so have such comments as "lost"?
'kagiso has lost his way'. Yho! That's pretty bold of you to act as a compass for someone you probably don't even know. What way? Is it relevant to you if he finds value in logic and rational, or is all about your perspective?
YOU'LL HAVE BETTER SEX, MORE OFTEN. Despite the lurid Sex in the City marketing that promises singles erotic joys untold, both husbands and wives are more likely to report that they have an extremely satisfying sex life than are singles or cohabitors. (Divorced women were the least likely to have a sex life they found extremely satisfying emotionally.) For one thing, married people are more likely to have a sex life. Single men are 20 times more likely, and single women ten times more likely, not to have had sex even once in the past year than the married. (Almost a quarter of single guys and 30 percent of single women lead sexless lives.)
@ThePenuelShow Can you please encourage viewers to subscribe. I think there are many viewers who just and forget to subscribe. That needs to be pushed cz the channel growth is not as robust as it could it be
