Trying to please "people that, even if I was perfect - or specially if I was perfect inside myself - would never accept me anyway." His last phrase is both heartbreaking and releasing... 'Cause you realize people, maybe your parents, didn't ever want to accept or really love you and will never do so, but you spent years thriving to get it. On the other hand, that's your opportunity to realize that the problem hasn't ever been you.
Here. It is one thing to pressure, force or threaten someone to succeed. Or do it with rewards and maybe punishments but simply expect too much. This is the story everyone usually hears. It is an altogether different thing when the child is gleefully told every time he brings home a B or B+ that he almost fulfilled the parent's expectations and that if he only put a little effort into it he would surely be perfect. It gets worse when all actual effort or initiative is discouraged and downplayed and the child is again and again told that there is some kind of magic or instinct inside him that would enable him to be perfect. If he was only willing to use his magic. As if success in school, life, employment and relationships was like sex. The only thing needed was to let yourself become turned on to it.
My inability to achieve standards others set for me and not themselves caused me to eventually shut down who I was. It's only now, many years later, dealing with my trauma am I remembering that perfect child within.
Giving up perfection as a way of trying to keep myself safe and loved was one of the best things I ever did. I'm happy with myself even when I mess up. My self-esteem is based on me doing my best according to what I'm capable of at that specific time and place. There's nothing else I can do! And I'm happy with that. I like being a human. Trying to be more than human made me anxious and depressed. And you know what? You mess up a lot less when you're not constantly being self-aware and judgemental. I feel free.
I have no problem with the saying "To be human is to be imperfect." I see it as a message for perfectionist: ''The perfection you seek is not real. It's OK to make mistakes and have flaws."
Yeessss my father was a welder and I think he thinks because he was very successful only multiple shops that was the only way to make money when in my time born in 1984 growing up in the 90s as a millennium it was a million ways to make money I did not have to be an industrialist but now we don't talk at all 😢..
What is even more funny is, there was this moment once that my dad FINALLY took notice and felt proud of me and it made me physically sick and I had to actually take a shower. Never again.
oh man. I feel repelled by people all the time, even as i write this comment. My mind wants to send the most perfect comment, and looks for mistakes over and over. I grew up being mocked and manipulated for even a little mistake from all the people around me. It made me very catious and hateful of people but also a perfectionist of sorts. I've become an internal perfectionist also. So if i don't feel a certain perfect way i feel guilty for not putting enough effort or intelligence. It is very sick, but as i write this i feel better and more and more free.
@@senetcord6643 I feel ya. I too compensate in the same manner. It is natural, considering. Also, folks want to feel worthy and most of them have not the strength to find their inherent value, so they cope by trying to take it by force, from others. But this can only happen in ritual, never in fact, so they are forced to keep repeating it with those they deem weaker. They will never find it because that's not where it is. Conversely, I think nature has this way of balancing itself because you, on the other hand, will only get better and better, whilst they will keep trying to take from others. Life is a glass that is always filled to the brim. You lose what is yours when you try to take what is not.
In philosophy we say "The imperfect it is perfect in itself" Look at your bravery and all the work you donne to heal your wounded child, you are an expression of perfection. You dont need to try you just are.
Perfectionsim has been bothering me for most of my life and now I understand why it always made me feel so distressed! I was always trying to be perfect for others, and not for me! Thank you for sharing your insights on this interesting topic!
My narcissistic father used perfectionism to control me. He was always projecting this vibe of "I better always be feeling that you're try to win me over and gain my love and acceptance" his love and acceptance was always very conditional. To this day I struggle with perfectionism. It's also wrapped up in forgiveness and self forgiveness and self punishment, which I believe is our internal parents continuing to punish us.
You have just described my life experience.. and now I understand the LINK between my agony & stress that follows me everywhere I go. I perpetuate it all by myself, as I haunt myself & hound myself.. every minute of the day.. I did not realize I was perpetuating an environmental culture, that does not serve. As for perfectionism, people are ridiculously spoiled to demand everything is correct the first time & every time. ~ We can practice being more allowing. We can go deeper, and practice being kind. Instead of demanding correctness, let us be kind instead. Let us allow ourselves to be human . Let us allow & accept ourselves as we are. Trusting that with time & experience, we will naturally evolve. We are designed to naturally evolve. Shaming, blaming, punishment, creates an environment that causes people to stay small & frozen. . ~ Dan, keep talking, keep teaching ! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🤗👏🏼👏🏼
This is how my dad is. I had an issue today and his response was, “you don’t want to create drama.” Great advice dad I really appreciate it. 🤦🏽♀️ He also never even invited me to Thanksgiving. I don’t even know why I bother anymore I’m clearly not important enough to be invited anywhere by anyone so I’m just going to probably stay single. I don’t want to just blindly follow anyone it’s heart breaking. I’m tired and depressed at the end of the day and that’s really too much stress for me it’s almost easier to just be alone and not date anyone.
I am in the same camp, like one of those birds that the mother won't care for cos they've been touched by another bird or something... I also have the same coping mechanism of thinking it's easier to just be alone (and truly it is) BUT also we are human beings and need attention. It's so annoying having to feel two opposing states at once. Hang in there, there are others like you and maybe just knowing that might help lift your spirits a bit.. I know it did for me.
I literally can't stop myself being a perfectionist. If something is not "right" it goes over and over in my head until I'm happy with the result. Also my house can be in a utter mess but as long as certain things are just right all's good in the world lol. Thank you for another great video ~💮~
Great work Daniel. After you stopped your therapist job, for me you became a real, natural and unbiased therapist, one of the best and most valuable out there. Thank you for what you do, what you did and for really helping humanity.
Parent's high expectations and pressure on kids can cripple them,specially when the child no longer wants to be "the performing monkey" and wants his/her real self to flourish. Kids are reliant on the love and adoration the parents give specially to a gifted child,but when the parents retract that because the child wants to pursue other interests they don't approve of then it can traumatize the child,he/she no longer feels loved and feels rejected by the only ppl who were meant to love him/her without any conditions.
'funny' I was just neglected as a child. And at the age of about 20 i had to proof myself to the whole world.. obviously that didn't work so I slowly learned that true acceptance has to come from within. And as I grow older and getting a bit grayer I just came to appreciate the perfect imperfections more and more :) That's what I love of getting older.
"Our deep humanity is a beautiful thing, which is a sort of perfection" - I totally agree. Being human and humanity IS so beautiful of itself, we don't need to fake it, but to function in this commercial, competitive world and to have to work in fake environments pushes us to perform as fakes. It's disturbing. But we don't have to go fake. Imagine a world where no-one was fake. Delicious. I know Mr Mackler, you will be there. :)
This is 100% my problem and was the biggest revelation I had when I first discovered your videos last summer. In my case, it’s hard to say where it began, because as far back as I can remember I was overachieving and always trying to impress the parents and teachers. This became the way I got my love, and it just fed back into itself over and over. Even now, if I can’t be the best at something, I have failed. I put exorbitant amount of work into unnecessary projects and then never show them to anyone, because I know it can be better. What you said at the end is true, I believe. That even if I was perfect in all the ways I feel insufficient, the people I want to accept me probably won’t accept me any more than they do already. And maybe I’ve known this for a while. But the thing that keeps me this way (perhaps) is the hope that being/performing/producing perfect can make me worthy in my own eyes.
These same epiphanies have been coming to me intuitively lately, I just wished I had more of them and much earlier in my life. But I can also see that things do happen at the right time as well because I can see that had it occurred at an earlier time the lesson would have been lost. I'm very grateful to understand what I do now but it makes me hungrier for more. There's always the feeling that there's more to advance to.
We are meant to fail by our parents. Nothing we did is EVER GOOD ENOUGH TO THEM. So we are set up to fail by everyone in any given system. I am such an outsider in this world bc I don’t go along with any of these fraudulent systems. Ppl never GET ME and I’m thankful regardless.
Sometimes a family atmosphere can be too much like a work environment, where the least qualified and most inept worker is inevitably the child. This is nuts, of course.
You are so amazingly smart! Very articulate and your explanations. I am so glad somebody sees the truth of this fucked up society and is brave enough to call it out! I feel ya
I would love to hear your views on masculinity and how men and boys are treated by society these days and in general. So glad I discovered your channel. Thanks
Perfectly imperfect yes (pertaining to our personality, that is). And "perfect" in the sense that we're all extensions of a higher power (i.e. Source) and created in its image and we are good enough. So in that sense, yes, I agree. Perfect as in "our natural authentic self isn't defective, it just is and it's fine the way it is". I can so relate to this. Thank you for being vulnerable and honest. Such a breath of fresh air.
Wow. That was GREAT. Thank you for reflecting my experience around trauma and perfectionism back to me in a deeply resonating and hopeful way. ... yeah, i'm picturing giving you a standing ovation. your paradigm is soooooooooooooooooooooooooo refreshing and resonates deeply with my personal understanding of the world / my experience. much love!
Wow. This made me cry. Maybe this is what I needed to hear about perfectionism because I have severe perfectionism ocd that is getting more and more insane. I’m starting to think my ocd is a result of my terrible parents. And since I still live with them, they still act ridiculous all the time. Kinda recently my mom has become absolutely acidic. She has never in my life been so nasty. And at the same time, my ocd has exploded. I think a see a pattern, the more abusive she is to me, the worse my ocd gets. Of course the standard therapy is not working. It couldn’t possibly keep up. But since my therapist is like my mother, it probably just makes it all worse. The interesting thing is that while they were away a distant friend of theirs was coming around to help out. Amd my ocd got worse from things she did. I slowly realized she was narcissistic amd that when she violated my spaces, new ocd issues popped up. Right around those spaces. It’s all starting to make sense.
This video is great and really hit close to home for me. I like to do things delibrately and as close to "perfect/right" as I can get but now a days people want it "now" and they want it in vast quantities for their bottem line profit margins. Then when it's not "perfect" because they wanted it in a hurry they get up in arms about "lazy" workers. I wish people (in this case businesses and general consumers) would make up their minds: Do they want quality or quantity? A job well done or a hurried and sloppy mess? Sorry, about my rant this has been bugging me for awhile.
This video is like coming across a diamond in the dirt. Only 6,049 views!? Some of what he says is so deep in this video, that you will miss it if your not paying attention.
Perfectionism is no sprint or marathon with 'perfect' at the finish line. It's a hamsterwheel. Perfectionism leads only to a live filled with endless strive devoid of any release or satisfaction. I learned this the hard way and I'm still learning. Letting go of self-oppression under the misnomer of 'virtuous self-control'. To give myself freedom is love, the highest good of all.
Im a chameleon,i can compartmentalise in any situation,work ,home,outside,and im quite happy to do this,but every now and again my insecurities can surface and i find myself not actually knowning who i am? It can be frustrating voicing what i actually feel through fear of rejection,this stems from when i was a child,it was much easier to stay quiet than feel the wrath of my parents.so now 30 yrs on i still question my morals,my feelings,and my attitudes towards allsorts? Because im not actually sure what i feel,Im a complete empath and people pleaser,i suppose i just wanna be liked.
Thank you Daniel. I think if we are being honest with ourselves and awake the. We are perfectly being who we are. People including you are just more beautiful on the inside then they realize. My child taught me that...lmao, the heart of a child. 😊 Your videos are wonderful. I love them. 💗
Perfection is a huge topic. Performing monkey is about one person’s need to control and the other person’s need for affection. To strive for perfection is a good thing. It has nothing to do with bending to the will of another, but more to do with following one’s own inner wisdom - with the guidance of one who lives in a clear space (if that wisdom isn’t fully clear. Methinks this is one topic better left to the great Masters, like Buddha, Krishna or Christ.
I believe our self hating is hate for those who hurt us... On my journey iv managed to move deeper and deeper into self love with acceptance.. It was what it was I didn't like it it hurt me it damaged me it fucked my life up for a long long time.. But no more.. I gave it back.. Not mine.. I'm a lover not a hater.. I'm a healer not a victim.. Didn't happen over night and it's been hard work but oh boy the road I travel today is so different..
Guys couldn't begin to tell my story here ,we all have our own ...but a few signposts of my journey that enabled me to be my own hero 💜 1.A rock bottom, wanting to be dead but not wanting to leave my kids or cats nor my younger self 2,made a decision to protect myself and get help and support 3.took it all a day at a time ,questioned everything, fostered a faith in a HP. Eventually found a therapist who fitted me. Surrounded myself with loving and supportive people, Looked at how I was in all of it instead of focusing on abusers Fostered a great compassion and love for myself Explored the benefits of forgiveness, mindfulness, self care and spiritually Learned about energy vampires, and avoided . Started to explore nutrition, ate better and walked. Strength and love to anyone who takes the warriors journey...we're worth it 💜
Another "BAM!!" video! Thanks a lot Daniel :). I came across Johann Hari's videos and point of view regarding depression (and the supposedly chemical imbalance, meds, book "Lost Connections", etc...) + Kelly Brogan's videos and book "A Mind Of Your Own". I am wondering if you know them, and if you could share your own point of view as well about the chemical imbalance approach (I've seen your video about tapering off meds).
if there would be no expectations, if there would be no grades, if there would be no traumas the world we know would not exist. Exemple of many exemples: if there would not be grades, traumas, expectations we would not have landed on the Moon. Just an exemple. Once you understand it it is beautiful. See how females pusch men forward, most losing their lives for women, and that creates the world we live in. It is amazing how Nature is traumas, expectations, grades. Beautiful. To be humans it is to teatralize, it is to lie, in lies lay the true. It is amazing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hey Daniel. Thank you for your videos and insights. 🌻 Have you done any videos addressing perfectionism and anxiety (shame?) while playing music? I just had an experience where I was playing well, but as soon as someone came in the room, I was all thumbs and sounded terrible.
I feel like you're ahead of your time. Like, these things make perfect sense for me and I think humanity as a whole will reach a point where we see how much we are hurting each other, but I think it'll be quite a while until we there. Progress takes time.
I think this is why we see so many zombie movies... because this is what trauma does to us after a while. It leaks into our bodies, minds, hearts and in the end makes us quite zombielike. Because we shut off our emotions, since thats in the end the only way to survive in this crazy world. Like normal human emotional reactions are usually seen as weird, and the fake is promoted. It's screwed up, to say the least.
I frozen after video... everything you said( philosophy), was in my mind and didn't said to anybody.. oh god.. and yeah the trauma from parents, and yeah... oh god..😳
👍👍 Daniel’s view reminds me of the Gnostic mythos, wherein everyone is a divine spark (perfection) that almost always gets disoriented and confused within it’s material body (trauma) due to the miseducation by a human society lacking “gnosis” (direct knowledge of one’s own primal innocence and perfection).
Hi Daniel, this video made me feel happy for some time (two minutes, something like that). In the end you say that even if you were perfect your parents wouldnt have accepted you. But isnt that exactly what youre saying the whole video? lol Because you say it in the end like its a new announcment, but theres no need to end the video with that , because that was the assumption you wanted to prove in the first place, and you did it :) So theres no need for saying it in the end of the video like youre saying something new. Its like repeating once more on what you said at the beginning of the video, in the middle of it and in , probadly, all of it. Loved the video! Thank you so much! Harel from Israel (Im a huuuuuuuge perfectionist. working on that. Not sure if it had changed, but I am at least abit less... :) I want to give myself credit for this right now :) And about what youve been saying the whole video: Maybe we ARE born perfect (if theres no other life times we came to fix what we did in , when we were the people in those different lifetimes ). And again, thank you :) You gave me an opportunity in here to express, and EVEN IN ENGLISH (You know im not an American lol), so thank you for that and thanx to everyone who reads this :) Harel
I'd like to share an alternative explanation. This is somewhat rooted in the thought of St. Thomas Aquinas. A human is a being with a dual nature. One half that we share with animals that is purely biological and another that we share with angels (for those who believe in them) that is rational and immaterial. Passions reside in the biological part, whereas will is guided by intellect and resides in the rational part. From there it can also attempt to direct the passions. Memory is shared by both these parts, storing experiences and associations but also intellectual knowledge and rational understanding. When a child grows in, let's put it mildly, imperfect environment, he learns to think of other people through what he has learned. He also learns to think of himself in terms of how this internal representation of how he experiences other people relates to him. This internal representation is actually what the Freudians call the object and it will change from situation to situation but it will always be formed according to some internalized rules derived from experiences. So if a person has in his memory an idea of a parent that says that he is perfect or that one day he will be perfect or that he could be perfect only if he wanted to, the child can only understand himself in these terms and attempt to act accordingly. So he will, for example, end up yearning to be perfect in order to win the love of the internalized parent object. Problem is that some children end up so out of touch with reality that they end up trying to be perfect in their fantasies and imagination and will then seek to live out these fantasies in relation to the actual world around them. The self-critical ones may become psychotic but the less self-critical ones may become narcissists. And those who are more in touch with reality will end up depressed. Animals in nature are perfect as they are. But since a human is a rational being, he must make rational sense of the physical and social world he lives in. And mental problems exist when this process goes awry. But the catch is that there is no rational core self that knows or can explain itself. When a person looks inside, he sees his passions (simple desires that enjoy, avoid, suffer, reach out, expect or fear) and his memory. The rational understanding, the one applied to these emotions and memories, is always brought in from the outside.
I am glad that I wrote this. Sometimes when the child is hurt or humiliated by those who he seeks to be loved by, these things become intertwined in his mind. But because it is an association that is stored in memory, staring at it intently or looking for ways to re-enact it somehow does nothing to change it. This is especially problematic if these re-enactments, be they in the real world or purely in fantasy, cause the person pleasure. To change anything it is necessary to decide, on an intellectual level, what the sought-after change should be. And then a new interpretation must be willed onto the memories that associate being humiliated with being loved. Or alternatively being humiliated with thirsting after love and acceptance. People who have not experienced the rational calmness of being loved, which also includes being understood, even more than being simply accepted on an emotional level, will settle for experiencing the thirst in its place. Abused children usually do not go after real love in their adult relationships. Instead of that they are finally free to experience the thirst to its fullest extent. With their parents they had to seriously tone it down. With their parents they did not want the humiliations, but now the humiliations, such as being with a selfish or cruel or rejecting person, become a way to access and enhance the experience of thirst.
Yeah, it seems like perfectionism is the deluded sense of striving after that which we already are; as you say perfect in ourselves. And with the striving of perfectionism it only reinforces the lack of something in us, that isn't actually a lack. It's a neat little psychological paradox!
No one is perfect. Let me repeat this: no one is perfect. To be ""human", is to be -- """accepted"""-- (loved as you are ). The expectation of perfection is the reverse of what it appears to be. It is not a claim to excellence. It is a claim that whatever excellence one exhibits NOTHING IS EVER ENOUGH. When "nothing is ever enough" an internal contradiction is established within the individual who believes they must be "perfect". This creates, simultaneously, two psychologically destructive characteristics: a projection onto others, (most notably one's own children) of never being good enough. This is typically coupled with an inability to accept acceptance. Please re-read that: AN INABILITY TO ACCEPT ACCEPTANCE. A QUEST FOR PERFECTION REPLACES THE ABILITY TO EITHER GIVE OR ACCEPT LOVE.
I really like your idea that we need to accept things as they are and lessen the expectation of perfection. The oldest definition, etymologically, of "perfection" is, "to accomplish, perform, make complete", 5th edition, Oxford English dictionary, page 682, top definition. Reading further, one may see that the concept of being without flaws was overlaid more heavily across the course of centuries. Life is a process, doesn't stop changing, so you are right. I believe the counselor on the video has a different perspective, which is, if we were not previously traumatized, our core Self is "perfect" within itself. My viewpoint, we live in an infinite world, and one may never quantify the whole, at best, we may guess. But, the complete explanation of the whole will always be lacking.
You're right. We actually do have a soul. And we can be perfect - which IS a state free from all pain and trauma and we feel only joy. They say, "Nobody's perfect." To that I would respond, "Nobody's perfect... yet."
I have gone the opposite way. I didn’t even try for perfection. I am happy doing things to the point they don’t drive me nuts. I don’t want a medal for perfection from anyone.
I've always had this perfectionism idea in my life. I've never liked that term applied to myself, but others have said it, and I recognize it can apply to me. A short term ex-girlfriend I had a few years ago called me, "your mother's perfection project". This was pretty biting actually... hit very close to home.
A daughter subconsciously trying to earn favor and love from her mother who doesn’t have it to give back to her. So the daughter keeps trying to earn something she will never learn.
When you find and become your "perfect self," or your "authentic self," you will have found and become something "Many People" have imagined and crave. Watch out! Beware! You will have inadvertently created an entirely new set of problems. At which point, I suggest you have a tee-shirt made for yourself. On the front should be printed, "I'm not who you think I am." And on the back: "I'm not who I think I am, either."
Also the conditional love in childhood really does leave children with trauma. Now I love my kid complety without condition. The only thing I expect from him is to be happy
I'm trying to be perfect by challenging myself to do better..... Is that unhealthy??? I'm here because I wonder if my desire to do things perfectly is a way to prove that I'm ok. My mother always said I was bad as a kid & that she was never that way. That she always wanted to please her father. Basically she was comparing me to her as a child.... I never do anything right with her. I quit speaking to her for about 5 years just to " reboot" myself..... As I've gotten older... I do this perfection thing for myself. Not for anyone else. But I'm hard on myself. Please analyze me..!!! Thank You.
Insightful remark that perfectionism is relative, what's perfect in one's eyes depends on one's own past traumas and the culture (patterns of perfection set by mass media for example). Yes children are very often turned into performing monkeys by their parents, which I consider a form of abuse.
I suffer from perfectionism. I don't know when it really started. But I do espect to be punished if I'm not perfect, at least I remember working somewhere where I was punished, I was blamed for this and that but I'm not sure it was even true their claims. But I did notice if they did misstakes they would laugh and have fun about it, talk about doubble standards. So I don't know this happened around 20. Problem now is that now people demand of me to not care to produce quantity and I litterally can't my counsiosness won't allow me to be apathic. I don't see the point of working, the reward of surviving is not just not enough to push through. I however do survive anyway because my husband gives me safety and because I live in a country with social safety. If I weren't married and live in a country with social safety net I think actually I would choose either to do something against myself or try to find a way to be as most comfortable as possible as homeless.
Whats ironic is that even the biggest most successful people make mistakes and errors all the time. Their early stories are fraught with failures and screw-ups. They slur words in interviews and even in things like the automobile industry they do recalls and design fixes. Yet these people run the show. For God sake even human beings have flaws in the brain/DNA/body. The best movies you know have scenes or shots that are sub par. Politicians that control huge levers of power literally gaff and fumble all the time. News outlets have to issue retractions or apologies for getting things wrong. Existence is chock full of mistakes and imperfections, so its not like making mistakes is this totally unforseen unforgivable thing that holds people and their work back from achieving some goal. Again, humans are full of flaws and make mistakes all the time yet here we are running the planet and forging ahead. So perfectionism obviously isn't the way to go because perfectionists don't run the show. But it is the way to go if you get attacked for making mistakes, which in life just ammounts to being attacked all the time cause you are going to make them. Its absolutely a defensive way of thinking in order to avoid attack for making mistakes, and maybe as we get older, a way to avoid the pain that comes bubbing back up regarding it when we take risks. 😕
:) substitute “trauma” with “original sin” and you have a little bit of Catholic teaching. The rest is grace and yes, I agree that within us we crave who we are in perfection. Christ said “be ye perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect”. God bless you. Pax Et bonum. Love
Well, it depends on what is your definition of perfection. I believe that perfection lies in imperfection. A perfection where "everything is right" does not exist. And then what does it even mean to "get everything right"? What are the standards. So for me imperfect is perfect. Knowing that you cannot get everything right but at the same time being okay with that. I'm good just the way I am. I don't have to try so hard.
I respect your point of view but I don't agree with you because I think that the reality is the quite opposite of what you said Humans are actually imperfect by nature and that's the beauty of it because it makes everyone of us unique and shaped with different flaws and qualities so we can complement each other and coexist And normally we should thrive on our imperfection and embrace it , we can work on it and get closer to being perfect each time but we'll never achieve it because that's how we're built so we can need each other to complement our shortcuts And I think that the trauma is actually what destroys this nature in us and make us think that we should be perfect to be accepted and to fit in and not the other way around
Hmm...I'm curious, and perhaps this question is geared towards *all* Dismissive Avoidant attachment styles (the chronic, self-doubt is an obvious aspect of DAs) I wonder if you were ever inclined, as an adolescent, to rebel? Fuck you grown-ups 😏 My mum is and was raised Dismissive with her Catholic school upbringing but, my dad would brag about smoking weed in the Mormon church his breeders *forced* him to go to. I'm pretty certain he's Fearful Avoidant attachment style as I am, and FAs are most likely to be abusive 😕 but the abuse I show is towards myself, self cutting and emotional flashbacks, whilst I think I'm aloneand it's safe... But I was the first in my family to drop out of high school and get my ged, then I went to trade school for Information Technology, but couldn't find a job so I, eventually, joined the Army (*that* was my rebellion); and I'm still practicing my creativity and *following* *my* *pull* but, I wouldn't trade it for anything else in this life (except, I'd trade it for death ☠) #theonlyhappinessispeace
A very helpful and enlightening video. But I'd like to know why you hide your beautiful eyes in your videos? I wanna experience your soul💙which I believe is visable through the eyes.
What is 'perfect', what is 'perfection' but the currency of grandiosity. It's time to ditch the concept of perfect, given its incapacity to make us embody our real humanity. We're all just human, for fuck sake. the language we speak is no true commentary on our bodily reality. Our parents we the ones who instilled this perfection program in us, and they did so because they are deeply insecure and immature people. To the extent that we become mature and secure we will have no need to even refer to 'perfect', as we will feel whole and thereby at peace, without the need for capricious and infantile one-upmanship. People hide their flaws behind 'perfection'. So perfection is a cover up for imperfection. Perfection is a falsehood. As a strategy towards emotional maturation, it is useless, save to the extent we can recognize it as immature, of the immature, and thereby erroneous and best avoided.
Even Jesus wasn't accepted by everyone, even though he could heal the sick and feed the people who were hungry. Wether you believe in him or not, there might be something to learn about seeking the acceptance of other people.
