Mine is a black satin bolero from the 90s that I thrifted! I don't wear it often cause I'm scared of messing it up and also, it's quite extra lol. It feels so me tho, especially the puffy sleeves it has. Also, my giant spiked choker! It's my baby 🥹 I wear it anywhere and everywhere, even just the grocery store, the spikes are like 4-5 inches. It also doubles as self defense if I need it 🤭
vintage-style offwhite blouse with poofy flowing sleeves, paired with a set of moss green trousers got me living my vintage/renn faire/somewhat cottage-core dream lol
I don't think everyone HAS a personal style. Just like how everyone takes photos but not everyone is a photographer, everyone wears clothes but not everyone has a personal style, and that's okay. Some people wear clothes as art or expression, and others wear clothes for comfort/practicality. Everyone will have some level of aesthetic preference, but that doesn't always amount to a style.
I'm not sure I agree with you, because photography is an art, so the equivalent is not personal style but design or red carpet, where fashion is an art and not just clothes. Personal style would be more like taking photos one way or another, so most people (if not everyone) have it, just in different levels
i REALLY disagree as a fashion nerd lol. your clothes and the way you dress yourself absolutely say something about a person, even (or especially!) when they don't intend it. plus i'm sure there's pretty much no one on earth you could convince to wear Any piece of clothing. everybody has at least some opinions on what they will and won't wear, even if they don't dress explicitly for personal expression. caring more about comfort/ practicality does not mean that you don't have personal style, it means that that is your style! and you can still do work to uncover your preferences and make more informed decisions about your clothing that will help you feel better in your clothes. for example, discerning if you find tight or loose clothing more comfortable + if you have material preferences (like natural over synthetic) can help you decide if you'd prefer leggings or cotton sweatpants.
@@valentinevintel9814 Personal style is artistic expression as well. That's why I think it's an excellent comparison. People do photography at different levels, for different reasons. Some of it is purely utilitarian, like taking a picture of where you parked your car in a large lot to help you find it again when it's time to leave; at a few levels up from that people enjoy it as a casual hobby and put some thought into the basic principles of it to try to capture the beauty of some moment in their life; you also have a large middle level that includes people going out of their way to try to get excellent shots and people who do photography as a professional service (for example, wedding photographers or press photographers), and it's a blend of utility and artistic expression; and there's a highest level of abstraction where every aspect of photography is considered purely in service of creating a particular piece of artwork, and that's what I'd compare high fashion to, where all of the clothing is made for artistic expression and any aspect of clothing as a functional item is almost completely out the window.
@@jaylynn8630 I'm not sure all clothes can be considered artistic expression, since most pieces are no more than clothes. Style can be art, but the vast majority of people having a very distinct personal style just have it for personal taste and not as a form of art, like they have nothing to say through their clothes, it's just them being themselves
I think we are all WAY overthinking things. Once I became an adult, I realized that what I liked on other people and what looked good on my body were different things. Once I understood that my body is the only one that looks exactly like me I realized the point is to find clothes that feel and look good on me (to me, my mom disagrees 😆) and nothing else matters. Now I mostly prioritize how the material feels on my skin (so only natural fibers), have worn the same clothes for 10 years and have been recently trying to learn how to sew my own clothes because I honestly hate everything I see in the stores now.
Same! I actually enjoy the kibbe method, seasonal analysis etc exactly because of it. I'm not shooting in the dark, I just buy what suits me and makes me happy, and if a trend happens to fall under this venn diagram, great. If not, I'll be wearing hot pink jumpsuits until the end of times
the solution is for us to perhaps stop using the internet so much, as it is a personal choice and we don’t have to listen to what people tell us to overthink about! tiktok strikes again
Hahaha I also just decided to say fuck it and learn how to sew. I'm just starting but I actually grabbed a pristine Bernina 930 at an estate sale last year for $125!! To me what I want is quality material from a longevity perspective. I want to figure out EXACTLY what shapes and measurements look good on me, and get high quality clothes I can wear for a long, long time (and enjoy doing it). My ADHD hates making decisions, so I try to get high quality stuff to delay having to make more decisions 😅. I know sewing isn't cheaper than fast fashion, but it'll be cheaper than buying clothes of the quality I actually want. Even though learning to sew at the quality I want will be a longgg time investment, I think it'll be a great and useful (for many things!) hobby, and I'm looking forward to getting deeper into it.
The reason I got into personal style was because I wanted to make my professional outfits feel more like "me." I don't really have to dress professionally much anymore, but I've been enjoying learning how to make my practical outfits feel more fun.
My job doesn't have a uniform exactly, but I work in a lab testing petroleum products, so my work clothes have to both conform to safety requirements and be something I don't mind getting dirty. With those guidelines in mind, almost all of my workwear is clothing that I don't love and feel like myself in.
I can't pick an aesthetic, and I kinda love that. I love dressing super emo one day, hippie the next, and super girly and frilly the day after that. It's more fun to be able to be multiple things and not limit myself to one aesthetic.
You still have a personal style. There’s going to be cuts or lengths or types of shapes of clothes within those aesthetics that you gravitate towards. There’s going to be textures or material you avoid at all costs. Or, if you’re a rare person who isn’t bothered by ANY of these things at all, not a one, then that in and of itself is your style personality. 🤷🏻
The crochet pieces I make for myself are my absolute favorite and feel the most "me" ❤ They are made to my measurements, in my favorite colors and I get to wear my art.
I knit and sew my own clothes and I agree, I adore the pieces I've made for myself. How else am I going to get a dinosaur tank top or a dinosaur hoodie as an adult? ;)
As someone who grew up poor and only wore hand me downs until I was in college, I don’t have a style and honestly, I don’t personally mind. Half the time I wear graphic t-shirts and jeans. I’m incredibly relieved I didn’t have to worry about clothing trends a kid, it seems expensive and tiring to keep up.
Having a style doesn't mean being trendy or spending a lot. Our outfits say things. You just told a story about what you usually wear and what your clothes mean to you. That sounds like a style. Even if you don't think about it very much, your jeans, your tees, and the art on your graphic tees, were all designed by people who put in a fair amount of thought. (For more information, see Miranda's "pile of stuff" monologue from "The Devil Wears Prada.") You have more personal style than anyone who just buys every trendy item because it makes them feel something.
style can be communicated through the same outfits worn differently. Do you ever tuck in your shirt cause it looks nice with your pants? Or to look professional in an interview? Then you've styled yourself! Everyone has a sense of style, realising it is just down to how much time they spend thinking about it outside of getting dressed. Buying clothes isn't style, as the person above me stated
Same here. My wardrobe is mismatched: shirts, short pants, jeans of various length, and shein type of outfits for outings. I have depression so it's overwhelming and trying to put an intricate look together. I have gufted bags that I barely use
@@Aelffwynn I always thought a style meant a type look or aesthetic. I kind of have an eclectic style I suppose but you’re right, everyone has a style or fluctuates between them. Didn’t consider that, thanks for the insight
The concept of a collective loss of personal style is strange to me, just because irl I see so much more experimentation and uniqueness lately than I did before Covid. I feel like I'm living in a maximalism driven cambrian fashion explosion. Even emo is back.
I don’t think emo ever really disappeared, but it’s been sort of collected as an aesthetic now rather than a representation of the subculture which I find interesting, but for music-based subcultures specifically a lot of trends/styles are becoming more popular where a politically motivated and music based subculture is boiled down to “studded belts, black clothes, and eyeliner” which sort of muddles baseline understanding and morals behind those subcultures. I think goth is the best example of this lol but grunge, punk, and emo are also currently being heavily influenced and changed right now too
it’s because they’re chronically online. i don’t use tiktok and i can’t tell you shit about these odd little “trends” (i wouldn’t call them this in a fashion sense, rather social). fashion is cyclical and always has been. i see more acceptance for experimentation of personal style in my every day life. i don’t hear these meaningless terms outside of youtube videos like this. they’re all just stuck in a little echo chamber trying to outdo and impress each other and i’m sure its exhausting for them! the rest of us are just enjoying being ourselves and trying out styles that work for us (even if that means copying an outfit inspiration from pinterest 😱)
I think location makes a huge impact on this, because where I live people either dress “normal” t-shirt & jeans or following trends. I’ve seen almost no fashion as a statement in the post COVID world where I live. It’s been a bit uninspiring honestly.
i've had a boss say they found my style very confusing bc i enjoy switching it up btw a basic all black to really loud patterns and i'm like....i like all of it! why do i need to limit myself when i'm having fun!
i think people just need to get back in touch with their feelings and start thinking about clothes that make them feel comfortable and happy. or to realize sometimes clothes are just so you aren't just walkin' around butt naked and exposed to the elements (not to judge butt nakedness in any capacity) you won't need to be dressed to the nines all the time to be loved and feel content. you can have that in a worn out tee and jeans too.
As a Canadian, can we talk about the struggle of having to deal with insane seasonal changes that mean I have to own at least 2 entirely separate wardrobes. Like, it takes me all winter to figure out my personal style and then once I finally do, oh look, it’s summer. Can’t wear those sweaters anymore. Then by the time I get comfortable with my summer clothes… oh would you look at that, it’s snowing!
I grew up in a warm country and moved to Canada like 2-3 ish years ago and I don't think I fully grasped how hard it is to dress during winter with the snow, and I live in a place that doesn't get as cold as other canadian cities get. I also have a high sensitivity to the cold, more so than the average person. Some days I just focus on not catching pneumonia, let alone dressing well. Last winter I thrifted a couple of really high quality wool coats that were my go-to and focused on accessorizing with fun brooches.
I should probably chill tf out as a German with relatively mild winters but I still find it so hard to dress for four seasons. I need clothing for moderate weather, sure. But then also winter outfits that work for being outside for a long time, ones that work for inside AND outside on communting days and in summer how do I know whether I encounter a building with aircon or not (still kind of rare here)? It's a lot and even though the entire world makes fun of Germans for wearing functional clothing instead of emphasizing looks, I completely get it.
if you ever want to know your personal style, start teaching! my kids come in with “ms marlena braids” and want to wear bracelets and rings on every finger 😭 they also come to me first thing when they have temporary tattoos to say that we’re matching!
For sure! Or you can be me with ombre blonde hair I wore in a braid and I was told I looked like Elsa at LEAST once a week, lol. Maybe elementary level kids aren't the best to seek this feedback from. 😆
It was kids at my school who diagnosed me as “GORPcore” and I went from feeling like I didn’t abide by aesthetic trends to feeling like an unknowing cog in the machine 😅
Ballerina in the chat chiming in: I think the thing that irks me the most about stereotypical ballerina-core trends is that they emulate the uniforms most of us wore in our early days of training, and those pieces are the opposite of empowering or comfortable to me. For most of us, those times involved a lot of mental and physical challenge as well as a huge amount of vulnerability (on the worst end of the spectrum, abuse) and growing up we felt like one of the biggest rewards of graduating and being hired as a professional was that we could wear whatever we wanted that was more comfortable and expressive. So I think our distaste for it is usually from a place of frustration that people cherry pick the aspects that they think are cute and get to do so without experiencing our difficulties or trauma that we associate with them lol. Which is the tiniest thread tying it back into being similar to aesthetics of marginalized people that are co-opted, but it’s pretty obviously not the same when it’s a hobby or sport you’ve chosen instead of a community you’re born into. The light pink tights and general prejudice against people in bigger bodies do also stem from white supremacy which is a less surface level reason to not like the popularization of it tho.
Yeah, I do modern ballet as a hobby and I'm fat, and many of the balletcore things that I wear (which is not all that much but still) are very pointedly not shown on bigger bodies. The fatshaming in balletcore is pretty common I've found.
This is one of the sheltered oppression Olympics takes I’ve ever seen😂 as if a sport you chose (that has an extremely prohibitive cost by the way) is even remotely “tying back” to actual oppression that is forced on people due to the conditions of their birth and identity. Even though college is expensive and privileged I deserve to be offended when someone has a dark academia aesthetic. I had an unhealthy obsession over good grades in college. So dark academia fashion borrowing stereotypical aspects of it like glasses and button up shirts is offensive. Dark academia cherry-picks the look of good grades without the difficulties and trauma. So even though I paid thousands of dollars to go to college and it was an opportunity most people in the planet don’t get it’s obviously comparable to racism and similar to making an entire ethnicities language, cuisine, and clothing illegal or dangerous to wear.
Normalise wardrobe code-switching! You don't need one defined style if you don't want, you can change it up! If I'm going to hang out with normies I go for the "millennial mum" look and if I'm going out with my queer friends I dress fruity as hell and the rest of the time it's "reformed emo" or "kid from stranger things". And I enjoy all those styles on different days, why limit myself to a single aesthetic?
I do the same thing. I like being a bit of a social chameleon. My personality is complex, and I emphasize different parts of it with different styles! One person can’t just be one note or one “core”
Exactly! I go from fantasy princess, to 50's housewife, to gym girly, to hippy, to joggers, to shapeless maxi dresses. Sometimes in one day. It's fun to have different styles to match your mood of the day rather than your personality.
i think about this stuff all the time because i work in a management position at a store for a large fashion retailer that largely makes clothes for young women and teenage girls. from what ive seen, the brand (and others like it) are struggling because rather than creating and setting the trends, they struggle to keep up with the microtrends (and usually over-invest in them). which directly affects each store and it’s staff who are too underpaid to deal with the constant pivoting. not to mention the decrease in product quality because of the quicker production required to keep up with microtrends. it’s like they are relying entirely on the customer to tell them what they want the company to make- which isn’t how fashion historically works. anyways- i’ve been approached by many a teenage girl asking me if we have “that top that’s really popular on tik tok” enough times i know exactly which one they are talking about. very different from the days of me just trying to find clothes similar to whatever alex russo from wizards of waverly place wore
this is a good point bc i think a lot of the loss of personal style is link in bio culture… teenagers just want to click to know the exact brand and item a person is wearing instead of hunting for a similar style that suits them and their lifestyle & price point (the hunting can also make you think about if you really want it that badly before you buy it 💀)
its definitely interesting finding out people are struggling so much with finding their style. i've literally always wanted to look like the carpet of a roller rink
I never gave personal style or clothes any thought until I was like 16/17 when I had a boyfriend who taught me what fashion and style could mean. After that it was clear very quickly, and one of my favorite clothes is literally the 3rd thing I ever made 12 years ago.
Black tie wedding girl: why is she not GOING TO A STORE? Go try things on! Make a day of it and make it fun, in a shop with people who might know what to point you toward as appropriate options.
@@Littlebeth5657 You're on point! I get not everyone can just spend more then 50€ on a dress but you can a) look for a fancy dress in regular stores and home for a sale. And b) buy second hand online from a store you can even return if it doesn't fit right. Especially evening dresses are there so much cause people wear them twice and then change size or style and sell them. You can get something decent for a steal or very very pretty for under 100. With maybe one hour of scrolling their catalog...
I totally get what you mean, but I personally live an hour away from the nearest proper clothing store, due to my work schedule it’s hard to make it down there, and when you do go shopping in stores half the things are out of stock, your size isn’t there etc, but it is in stock online! (And if you’re plus sized it’s like 10 times harder.) Stores aren’t making it a very pleasant experience to go shopping in person these days. So I see why people would be more inclined to shop online. Now I’m not saying go on TikTok shop but maybe a more reputable online retailer lol
I actually thought that she meant "cheap" due to the naked midriff and supertight fit. Step 1 for going to a black tie wedding: google what is appropriate to wear, and proceed accordingly...
as a bangs and tattoos girl, your fashion in videos gives me "im into cultivating a basic classic minimal wardrobe because over consumption of fast fashion is gross" and i love it.
Aesthetics are the ultimate symbol of commodification of the experience of growing up. Hear me out. I'm currently reading a novel called Camilla, written in the 1790s. It's about a group of upper class young people (aged 15-21) coming out into the world. These characters have the SAME fundamental issues teenagers face today: insecurity, wanting to be accepted by their peers, being unsure of their identity etc. What is NOT the same is how they solve these problems. Not once were any of their concerns solved by buying anything. On the contrary, characters that are too concerned with dress and fashion are seen as vain, and ridiculous. Instead, they lean on their family, friends and eachother. They do what feels right and learn from their mistakes. My theory is that aesthetics are just yet another attempt to solve the problems of young adulthood through consumerism. Buying into a subculture helps to create a sense of community and belonging. And these days, it's easier to purchase than it is to socialise. The only problem with aesthetics as a form of self-expression and connection, is that it's ultimately shallow. You cannot connect with other people purely by owning the same stuff as them. Unlike the teenagers of the 1790s that are the subject of Camilla (and young people in the past in general), modern young people are mainly connecting with others not through shared experiences, but through things that symbolise belonging to a specific group. Whether that shift is positive, negative or neutral, is up for debate. All I am saying, is that the shift has happened.
My two cents as someone who has had a personal aesthetic since I was a young teenager, is that having a strong sense of personal style actually does help with connection, but not just connection with other people with the same style. I'm an awkward, neurospicy person, and I don't initiate conversations with people very often. But the fact that I'm dressed like a 1950s Ms Frizzle invites a lot of other people to initiate a conversation about my fun outfit, and it can sometimes lead to deeper friendships forming down the line. A strong sense of style can be an interesting icebreaker. I don't often run into anyone with a similar style, but I did at the coffee shop a few months ago, and now we're crafting together and forming a friendship. The whole conversation was started because she complimented me on my outfit, which got us talking about our mutual interest in historical fashion and then our crafting hobbies. Just throwing this out there because I do agree that if a young person thinks finding their sense of style is a necessity for "adulting," you're so right that that is not going to work and playing into consumerism. If someone is expressing themselves this way because it's just more fun and easier than trying to fit in, it can end up leading to deeper connections in an interesting way some of the time.
Just as a side note : if they do not seems interested in clothing maybe it's also because characters had to demonstrate more moral qualities at the time and it does not mean thématique those issues weren't présent. But it's really interesting how you put it and i guess they key is, as always, capitalism. Basing our identities and social relationships on shit to but just doesn't work. I also agree with the other comment i have a strong personal style too, to the point i don't get how you can "look for" your own (so mysterious) and it's not based on a lot of shopping either and isn't an issue except for fitting in i guess wich i almost never tried. My style isn't really for others, it has always been for me first and that helped me grow i guess, not in a comodified way. But l agree that looking for a style, especially when it just equals buying shit, doesn't help in any way.
the tiktoks of people saying their tattoos would look ugly in a wedding dress make me sad! I always think they look badass and hope I don’t let myself get in that headspace about my tattoos
You might not be a “fashion influencer” but the second you mentioned a pasta print from Parade I clicked buy so fast. Seriously I immediately went to the parade site and bought a pasta nightgown and headband. So thank you, I have been looking for pasta themed loungewear for years.
@@tiffanyferg You could've mentioned that Old Money is really just WASP fashion, literally a racial and religious signifier rebranded. It began on tumblr because Harry Potter adults couldn't openly get away with wearing school uniforms any more and began to dress like the professors and even the very dapper villains on tags like "Riddle era" aesthetic, there was a femme version called Pink Slytherin.
my “personal style” is a mixture of clothes that are colors i like (mauve/millennial pink, moss green/sage, think desaturated floral colors and anything that isn’t dark) and some vintage style dresses and skirts lol. i can’t imagine switching between aesthetics every month on a whim 😭 and in my attempt to be more eco-conscious, i barely buy new clothes, even if i would looove a closet full of vintage-style dresses and skirts (not that i can afford them). honestly my only advice for finding your own style is basing things around colors more than style - it’s always easier to find something you like if you have a palette to work with that you enjoy, rather than trying to find what style or cut is the trendiest at the moment!
I definitely agree with this I have a bubblegum pastel rainbow colour palette that I keep for all my clothes (although I have black clothes for school and work) it's nice because the colours feel like me :)
Here's how my mum taught me to shop for clothes and it's helped me - if you don't love it or need it, don't buy it - think about what the elements of the clothes you do love, what is it you like about these garments, and make the most of it when it's in style - if you really love the way you look in a piece you're not going to care that much if it's on trend - if you feel tired with an item put in the back of your cupboard for a couple years and then revisit and you're still not feeling it, donate it - the only persons opinion that really matters on your sense of style is your own My favourite clothing piece is one i got second hand, it's from a french brand and it's a little summer dress with a 50s inspired cut and simple print
at the part where you’re talking about your channel seeming “boring” compared to other commentary youtubers. I actually look forward to your more down to earth style!! I love costumes and setpieces, it feels like watching a live performance (but educational). With your videos it feels like catching up with a very knowledgeable friend! Both are different, but still have their own strengths. I don’t think the big performances are necessarily the “highest form” or what you should be striving for (unless you want too), its just a different way of presenting information. You gain a different experience watching a live show than catching up with a friend. None is necessarily lesser than the other, just different!! Love your videos!!
I have a strong sense of personal style and that's really worked for me. I get asked a lot about where I shop, but the truth is that it's not about where I shop. this year, I've had a rule that any clothing I get has to be either secondhand or I have to make it, and it's actually been so much easier to stick to that rule than I realized.
I've been in the dark academia subculture since Tumblr days (no, it did not come from tiktok) and I've lived to see it become mainstream and then unlikable once again. To be honest, I love micro-aesthetics! This was already my personal style, but now with the name and the community, there is a marketing platform for companies to actually make clothes that I enjoy, whereas previously it was very difficult to find academia clothes for spring/summer seasons. I think when you're primarily producing and consuming fashion for media's sake as an influencer, it can really start to look like everyone is part of a micro-aesthetic and that they're all meaningless. But if you're actually just part of one of these aesthetics in your personal life, there aren't that many people in the general public who do it and you still look unique. But now you can actually find the clothes and have a few internet friends who bond with you over it. Some might say it's not really "personal style" if you're in a community but 1. none of us are actually unique and 2. I still have my own flair from within dark academia that makes me look different than others in the community (namely that I wear a lot of dark green which is not a typical color for the aesthetic)
@LUCYDebDolly honestly I'm glad she did that. smart kids dress in lots of different ways. I just prefer the dark academia look but it's certainly not something that indicates your status as an intelligent person. i went to a really top boarding school for high school on scholarship and there was a huge variety in styles of dress
I use Pinterest a little differently. I search for clothing items I own on Pinterest (like "green sweater") and look at the different ways people style them. Usually, I can recreate a couple of the looks with other items I own and I pin those looks. This way my Pinterest board is less aspirational and is more of a reflection of my personal style.
I have tattoos of things I loved at the time but I no longer love that thing irl but I still don’t regret the tattoos because it’s where I was at in life when I got it, it’s like a human scrapbook
Your normalness in appearance and “set design” (regular house) is what makes you so enjoyable to watch. You dont seem to perform, you’re just you. And it’s nice and refreshing
Totally agree!!! Also, I got super excited about Tiffany’s pregnancy (because new era of internet relationship duhhh) also, for me, as a 29yo with 2 kids, I’m looking forward to creators and content that reflects on motherhood and not only a “how to” on what to get shit done (which I appreciate, but there are enough already) Sending all my love and iron ❤
Something that has helped me recently is to have my list of non-negotiables for any piece I purchase from here on out. * Pockets. I love pockets and I am done living without them. While of course not every item will have pockets, at this point there is always a layer, sometimes two, that has pockets. * MUST have fabric that is majority a natrual fiber, I live in a famously hot and humid place. While being cooler, these fabrics also tend to stink less than bacteria throwing a party on some polyester. * Comfortable fit. I am not being pinched or squeezed by anything any more. If it's uncomfortable, I will not be wearing it regularly, no matter how much I like the look. I practically gave up pants and I do not miss them. * Sticking to silhouettes I like. I like stretchy and flowy fabric on my body and to be covered enough that I can move any way I please and not risk flashing folks. I like to contrast this with a more structured jacket or vest. While I have less clothes than ever before, I actually really feel excited to wear them. I can mix and match the strutured elements with the flowy element so even though im wearing the same dress in different colors, it feels different with swapping outer layers, hats, and other accessories. And I feel the most me in these clothes. These non-negotiables mean I am TRULY comfortable, I feel happier and look more relaxed, which naturally boosts confidence. I find that by focusing more on my experience of wearing the clothes, than how others percieve me looking in them has led me to a wardrobe that is ACTUALLY me and elevates my experience in life.
I love this because I follow the SAME rules! I want my items to be comfortable, I stopped wearing jeans like, 10 years ago because I hate how uncomfortable they are. I basically live in leggings now because I want to be able to move and not feel like I’m being squeezed to death 🤣. I also love flowy fabric, most of my clothing is some form of a dress. I even have “house dresses” for when I’m in goblin mode and I’m working around the house/ garden. I’m too old to be worried about something slipping or falling out.🤣
I found my personal style and developed it little by little over the years, only for people to tell me it's cottagecore. "You look like a witch living in a cottage," "You give off the vibes of an ISPY book," "You seem ethereal," "Earring lesbian with cozy vibes." What I would give for someone to just tell me they like my style instead of associating it with an internet fashion label :') Don't get me wrong, those are all complements but I feel like my part and effort to look good (without actually looking at social media as a copy and paste template) seems dismissed in a way. Overall this is silly to complain about how I want personal credit for my own silly outfits that I wear but oh well😅
What’s funny to me is I only ever see people wearing these “aesthetics” on line. I have never been at the supermarket or coffee shop and saw someone dressed like a cottage core girly or a ballerina girly, hell, I haven’t even seen anyone dressed “high fashion” in my everyday life, except for social events like concerts or music festivals. For context I live in Atlanta GA.
I never saw people dressed like this until I had difficulty finding parking near a major hospital and ended up parking near an upscale shopping street in Beverly Hills. I finally saw people dressed this way (cottage core leaning) while they crossed the street. Also, at the airport, I saw someone dressed like a minimalist fashion influencer, but her oversized blazer and wide legged pants overwhelmed her small frame. She also wore her hair with a middle part slicked back, a plain tee, and minimal gold jewelry.
I saw people in various styles all the time when I was in univeristy! I would dress up every day for class, too. I also tend to stick to my fave styles really heavily even on casual days, so I am 100% over dressed at the supermarket 😅
I think however you’re the most comfortable IS your personal style. You don’t have to throw together an unconventional outfit for it to be personal. Jeans and a t shirt can be your personal style if that’s what you truly enjoy wearing.
As someone older who isn’t easily influenced because I avoid most social media like the plague I say what what you feel the most comfortable in. I have a basic asf uniform most days wide leg jeans/pants and a button up. I feel comfortable so automatically I feel confident. I don’t mind that my closet is mostly basics it is what it it is. I’m an earring girl and that’s what usually stands out for most people when I get compliments. You kind of have to understand and know who you are to get to the personal style of things. Trying to fast track it by copying aesthetics is a cop out. Just love and life will help give you some of the answers.
My question about personal style: why does everyone need to have one? I don't think I have a personal style, and the idea that it would be important to me feels so strange. I certainly love my clothes and like to dress well, but different days call for different things. So why have just one style?
thats another aspect of it; the idea that we need to perfectly fit into one singular box. but its impossible. humans are too complex, we're always changing and learning new things. we're eventually going to grow out of the label we decided will define us. or at the very least, we will expand the label to include more aspects into it to make it less narrow. but even then, i totally agree with not sticking to one singular thing, its too suffocating.
Also I have seen a lot is people labeling styles that already have a label. Like I wear decora fashion (which is a J fashion style that’s been around for about 3 decades) and a lot of people have come up and asked if I’m wearing kid core. I’ve also seen people use photos to show a new core or trend, using images of people wearing an already established alternative fashion.
Has anyone else worked super hard to curate their personal style, invested in their “forever” pieces, and then gained 20 pounds and had to start all over from scratch? I’ve seen surprisingly few people talk about how discouraging it can feel. Would love to see content that makes me feel less alone in that regard!
My weight has always fluctuated so widely that I have almost had to look at certain items (anything fitted and not stretchy) as temporary. I injured myself in December 2020 and the 20 plus pounds I put on while trying to heal and as I struggle with returning to my previous active lifestyle. I had to pass on my amazing astronaut print dress, among other beloved items, and I cried a little bit. I had to redo all my undergarments, and the unstructured garments I used to love just don't look as good on me as the structured ones right now. Personal style, I am coming to learn, is not just about the aesthetic, but also about what fits and silhouettes you prefer on your body. And sometimes bodies change, and then you may reevaluate what those fits and silhouettes are, and that's okay. I also want to point out that through most of history, people only bought or made new clothing when they needed it, that clothing mostly had a very utilitarian purpose, unless you were very wealthy. It is relatively new, this concept of having enough leisure and disposable income to feel the pressure to curate a sense of personal style in anything below the very wealthiest echelons.
There are definitely "cores" that my clothes would fit into, and I do enjoy aesthetics, but honestly in my 30s my goal is to wear clothes that fit right, and are good quality. It's fun to have style, but having basic pieces that will last years and fit well/suit my body type are far more important when you don't have a ton of money to spend.
I’m sending you iron absorption thoughts! I’m a 90s goth, which is very mall goth but also 90s teen girl silhouettes in black, or white and black stripes. I pretty much only thrift and I definitely lean on my favorites. I have a recognizable, specific style but it came from only wearing black tshirts and jeans for like 5 years and finally seeing that I was bored of it and craved flouncy sleeves, rivets, and peplums. Your video made me think about the ongoing discussion about goth being a music based subculture and the validity of goth aesthetic from people who dont listen to the music. I always get excited if I see another goth in the wild because I feel like we’re flagging when we wear goth stuff. But I also am not harmed whatsoever by goth aesthetic on people who dont listen to the music. I listen to enough goth music to make up for those who don’t.
Most “me” items are ironically my mom’s and my grandmother’s pieces lol. Very kindly, they pass on their vintage/old clothes or they just give it when I say I like them and I combine them with modern pieces. I have actually shared with them that when I wear their clothes I feel supported and comforted because I remember them wearing these when I was a kid and admiring them so much❤ Also the fact that cloth quality was so good that my mother could keep clothes that were not high end or anything in perfect shape for 30-40 years speaks volumes. But that’s another tangent.
I buy a few basic things on Amazon... tank tops, robes, sweats... but most of my actual going out clothes are from thrift stores collected in the past 20 years. Comfortable mom is my aesthetic.
You’re one of my favorite commentary channels because you make videos based on topics rather than individual people. You always have nuanced takes and the topics are always relevant, interesting and well researched!
I'm torn on the "everything is a core". I don't like how much we're desperately grasping for labels...but it makes it really easy to find very specific aesthetics.
I've slowly realized that, at this point, I like combining a traditionally masc piece with a fem one. "Masc grandma" is the phrase I've been using lately to describe it. Getting a big black/grey ink tattoo of wildflowers on my arm was also a GAMECHANGER. I love it. I feel hot. I feel "me" because gardening is a favourite hobby of mine. Paired with curly hair and bangs, I felt like you gave me an indirect compliment on my personal style!
What… everyone has a personal style, whether it is intentional or not, effortless or try hard, bought or donated. Everything you wear says something about you. Whenever you buy an item of clothing or an accessory for someone your FIRST thought is if you can picture them in it and if you can’t, you decide not to get them it…. that’s because everyone has a style.
So, my mother has always shared the thought that Iris Apfel was known for: "Fashion you can buy, but style you possess. The key to style is learning who you are, which takes years. There's no how-to road map to style." Fashion is always changing, and trends are always evolving, so when you're trying to keep up with that, you don't have time to settle into or understand what it is you truly like, versus the impression you're trying to give by keeping up with fashion trends. I grew up with hand-me-downs, but I also grew up with a mother who was widely known for her sense of style. She is glamorous in formal-wear, but her streetwear is quite smart and chic, but effortlessly. Don't get me wrong, she has a ton of clothes and shoes, but she mastered repurposing pieces in so many different ways, that you'd be none the wiser that she was repeating. With that example, I learned to use what I had efficiently. Repeating and repurposing. I eventually started building my own wardrobe, and buying investment pieces, staples, and working around them, but also finding things that I could use interchangeably throughout my outfits. I don't know what exactly my style is classified, but my staple are suspenders. With jeans, shorts, dress pants; I'll style them casually with a t-shirt, maybe a graphic tee, polo, or dress it up with an Oxford/dress shirt. My shoes range from corduroy, to leather, to canvas. I enjoy my style, and I feel like it evolved with me as I get older, and look for more comfort, or for clothes that transition better from work to play, things that reflect me and my lifestyle. Like Iris said, it takes time, and cultivating a relationship and understanding with yourself. What YOU want, what YOU feel comfortable in, and what YOU can wear for as long as possible.
yeah i never understood why people say that they exclusively wear athletic clothes and sweatpants because it’s comfortable. there are tons of other clothes out there that are extremely comfortable and actually look put together. wearing bummy clothes in public makes me feel uncomfortable and self conscious. plus i don’t find tight athletic clothes comfortable at all
I think there's also a huge component of sexism in fashion as well. Like after a super trendy style runs its course, it gets labeled as basic or too millennial/cheugy. You could be trendy 2 months prior but then if too many women have a certain piece of clothing, that item is now "basic". Example: the denim vest that would have been super cute at any other point in time but now is not because of that Noah Kahan concert tiktok. Even becoming too alt in 2020-2021 was becoming "the new basic". It feels like there's almost a societal expectation to be ahead of every trend as women and immediately discard the object as soon as too many other women acquire the same piece.
I grew up not poor, but definitely lower middle class. My parents had my grandparents as a safety net, but my bag lunches growing up were always crackers and peanut butter and an apple. I also went to schools with uniforms up until college. I feel like those two factors allowed me to form my own sense of style. I wear what I like, I decorate how I like, and I love it ✨ I feel like one of my talents is using what I have to create great spaces/outfits. Also just the basic skill of being happy with what I have.
When I was in middle school I had a blue hoodie that I wore every day, I had to get rid of it because the person who gave it to me never really treated me correct, at the time that person did mean the world to me though ( doesn’t really matter for this story ) anyhow I loved how beat up that sweater was, every stain on it represented a memory to me, I hope I can come across a piece I care for that much again.
When I was in middle school my uniform was a 1930s old school uniform blazer and a Columbo coat that for some reason was in my mother’s hall closet. This was the early 70s. Still look for replacements in my size to this day.
I was always wearing hand me downs as a child. But I loved them, 80s Adidias turqouise, violett tracksuits, volleyball team sweaters, etc. My most "me" item would be any sweater that has the 80s bowling-alley carpet or bus seat fabric patterns!
I think something that helps folks develop an opinion and find things that make them feel more themselves is starting to think about style as self expression.. aka ART! Then we can look at our styling choices through the lens of design - contrast, movement, balance, etc.!
I went thru a lot of identity shifts and also some major health complications in 2020/2021 and as someone who works in the fashion industry and like it's my job to have a POV these are all things I have been thinking about a lot lately!! I have soooo many private pinterest boards for work where I curate images for communicating concepts to make things digestible for all of the Gen X people I work with but am just now starting to create boards again that inspire my own personal sense of style. And it is absolutely WORK but so worth it. Went to Goodwill the other day and was trying on a bunch of stuff in a corner with my bestie and a bunch of other women of different ages since there weren't any fitting rooms- it felt like the most neutralizing ground of girlhood lol. It was honestly so fun and something I used to do more during my teen years. I feel like myself and a lot of my friends in our late 20s are all going thru a "second puberty" and getting to know our bodies and how to dress them now vs when we were teens.
I did no buy January, then did the 75 Hard Style Challenge. And while I never limited myself to one 'aesthetic' *insert eye roll here* LOL I did realise I have a strong point of view, personal style and a pretty solid sense of self. Think 90s/00s Hip Hop & RnB, 80s/90s Dynasty meets The Nanny and 00s pop punk/goth. I think it comes from when I grew up and what was popular, what suits my shape and what I feel comfortable in - but most of all, it's about having *FUN*!
I was dark acadamia for 3 years, but then i found out it was making me feel depressed and not smart enough. Now i wear flower maxi dresses and imagine i live in a Jane Austen book😌 Getting bangs helped me a lot too, with finding my personal style.
As a heavily tattooed person trust me when I tell you getting tattooed will not make you feel complete. There’s this phenomenon where every time you get a new tattoo all you see is the rest of your empty spaces and it makes you feel so naked and you never feel like you’re tattooed enough
As someone who does have a very clear understanding of my personal style I can say that we are all influenced but the key is to curate your influences and have an understanding of why you like what you like. If a movie has an aesthetic you’re really drawn to figure out what it is about it you like. Look way beyond fashion, look at art, literature, nature, interior design, music & history. Look for the common threads that link your tastes together. Everyone has personal style because they have personal tastes they are using to make choices. Try to limit your exposure to the flood of other people’s opinions and see what you’re naturally drawn to.
I'm a 90s grunge era gal. Idgaf what people think of my dress. I dress grunge or rocker. A lot of my everyday pieces are band t's, ripped jeans, flannels, oversized band hoodies with Doc Martens, combat boots, or Vans. Dark esthetic jewelry pieces when I even wear jewelry, and I don't usually wear makeup anymore but go dark when I do. My arm tattoo sleeve and piercings kind of hint to my style overall. And that's what it's been since the 90s when I was a teenager. I work from home and don't really care if someone thinks I'm 44 dressing "too young." It's the way I dress and I'm comfortable in it.
My uniform is black boots, black fishnets, black shorts, black crop top sometimes with a vest. My friends daughter drew me and nailed it. I've always wanted to adventure outside of that so it's comforting to hear that it's a good thing.
Not sure how to phrase this - but I love that you keep your backdrops and things simple in this video - it makes your videos feel more authentic and I can actually focus on the discussion like I’m at lecture and allows me to absorb the analysis you are breaking down 😂 your insecurity about backdrops is kinda my favorite thing about your channel!
the only fashion influencer i ever really followed and took advice from is/was ashley bestdressed. she doesn't post on youtube anymore but she posted a lot of styling tips and outfit ideas that resonated with me (and still do) because she gave you ideas on how to use the stuff you already own and stuff like what's versatile which is useful. she's clearly not pressed for cash anymore and her wardrobe has evolved in accordance with that, but i think her style evolution is a pretty interesting case study because she developed her style without the ability to just buy shit whenever she felt like it and the outfits she posts now genuinely seem like stuff that someone who actually HAS a sense of style would wear. because she's clearly spent the time and effort thinking about the types of clothes she wants to buy and collect and alter. following trends is what you get when you want to be involved but are not putting in the thought to figure out what you personally want to wear
mina le has such a wealth of knowledge in fashion, i learn so much from her. you both do amazing work in bringing attention to social and cultural issues! 💖
I've had a semi-formal personal style for many years now, and it doesn't really get swayed much by prevailing trends: I mostly wear either plain or subtly-patterned T-shirts & shirts(both long and short sleeve) in summer and long-sleeve shirts during winter, while mostly wearing either jeans or dress pants as well as dress shoes & loafers all year long, and on more formal occasions I augment a tie, waistcoat and/or blazer. I only wear sneakers & sportswear when actually doing sports. *The reason for this is to keep myself alert and awake (espcially in winter) atop the fact that such a style really suits me.* Despite this my clothes aren't that expensive, but usually mid-range of a fairly decent quality that last for 3-4 years- in fact, I've seen quite a few sweatshirts (something that looks bad on me) costing twice as much as my shirts in sports store chains!!
I only found my style when I stopped buying new clothes and started thrifting (while still being mindful about not over-consuming). I love natural fibers, particularly linen and silk, and I’ve gotten the coolest pieces secondhand. My friend described my style as “bougie whimsy goth” which seems like a good fit. I’m also in my early 30s and my style was all over the place throughout my teens and 20s - experimenting is half the fun, just don’t buy something super expensive until you have a good sense of what lasts in your wardrobe! The best part about having a cohesive style is how easily you can mix and match pieces - it helps eliminate the urge to shop because there are always new options to explore in your closet.
Personal style is just that, PERSONAL. I don’t have any particular item that is “so me ✨”, my entire wardrobe is me. I look different if I’m hanging out at home or with different groups of friends or with my family or going to a party or a wedding. But everything looks like Me because personal style to me isn’t a focus on trends but a focus on what I like and what I feel compliments my body in the ways I want to compliment it. What am I feeling that day? Where am I going? Etc.
Just getting into the video, but I would say I have no true personal style!!! I wear lots of different stuff, and play a lot with both masc and fem clothes. It all depends on how I feel that day! Love finding fun pieces at thrift stores for so many reasons, but especially because you don’t get as sucked into the current trends.
As someone who (as a teen) would regularly fall into new “aesthetics”, I think micro trends are incredibly harmful. When I was following trends, I’d often buy cheap items that were not made to last. I just wanted to be able to follow the trend quickly, like everyone else. I wasted so much money on clothing that went in the trash. In recent years, I’ve taken a step back from social media and it has helped me grow my personal style. It’s amazing how fast I stopped caring about trends after that. I still love shopping, but I buy almost all my clothing second-hand and I try to buy ethical items. I’ve scored a lot of good pieces of Depop. Part of how I do this is by looking for specific brands I like, not looking for aesthetics or trends. I was able to get TWO ‘Dale of Norway’ sweaters for less than $150 (they are normally hundreds, each) because a lot of people gave up on their “dressing like and old person” trend.
I love fashion and style but my ADHD means I could never keep with any of these hard clique trends or fashion rules. Dressing for each day is the only way to live, some days you need fashion, bold, drama, some days you gotta just be in your baggy boring ‘basic’ clothes. The trends just remind me of immature eras of teenaghood when you desperately want to fit in, or are a influencer trying to make money.
I did Mandy's 75 hard style challenge and honestly it was the push I needed to get rid of clothes that I couldn't make work or I wasn't gravitating towards. I really like the idea of a style "thesis"!
23:43 Have you considered combining funky patterns with the silhouette you like? I think Etsy or sewing yourself would be a good way to explore your own style.
I think I just need to admit that my style is just: polished hair, makeup and accessories with a uniform. I’ve been in a uniform most of my life and now at my work.
I'm confident I could easily nail down what my personal style is, BUT I do find that I often like to dress outside of it. I like to sometimes wear a "costume," an outfit that would look normal on someone else but feels inauthentic and out of place for me. Depending on my mood and where I'm going, it can be fun! My style is modest, with classic materials like linen, wool, and leather, lots of neutral tones with pops of floral colours. Big blocks of colour with almost no patterns, and delicate gold jewelry. But if I'm going clubbing, for example, I'll choose to show more skin, wear more colors and patterns, and jewelry that doesn't match my usual outfits. Or if I'm having a bad day I'll sometimes wear more eye catching pieces so I can feel pretty and get compliments. I think this is okay! Dressing 100% within your personal style is really helpful to avoid overconsumption and save room in your closet (and wallet), but as long as you're making smart choices I think it's okay to have "costume" pieces! (Bonus points if you let your friends borrow things!!!)
I always liked to be intimidating, so Goth and Punk were always my go-to aesthetics. At some point in 2012-2016 I found out about Pastel Goth and that just became my objective. I guess I was tired of feeling unapproachable and not really that feminine the way I was dressing. In 2022, a whole SIX YEARS LATER, I was browsing my favorite alternative clothing website and they had an entire collection of lavender clothing and accessories. ON SALE, ALL OF IT. Girl I bought 2 combat boots and some platform mary janes (+ my new wallet), all lavender. And then, I realized I had NOTHING to pair them with. Maybe a buttoned shirt that had some lavender details. And now for 2 years I have been buying lavender clothing so that I can match it with my lavender shoes and my black and white wardrobe. Now I have 2 pairs of pants, 3 cropped tops, a crewneck and 2 pairs of socks for good measure, all lavender. And by God do I feel SO INCREDIBLY CUTE in them. Went to the movies with an all-lavender fit yesterday, and I am still happy about how cute I looked. Moral of the story - if you ever find something that brings you joy, make it a long term project. Your opportunity will come!
I've never downloaded Tik Tok because as a 26 year old, I am well aware that I would ruin my brain chemistry trying to keep up with the Jones'. Because Instagram ruined it first lol. My personal habits changed when I left most social media 2 years ago. I haven't bought myself new clothes in like 9 months. I have pinterest boards of inspiration, but I've only used them as occasional styling guides, never as shopping guides. I love vintage clothing and folk Mexican art so there's not a lot of desire to buy fast fashion. I used to. I don't have much social media so I don't share outfit pictures. I used to. Slowing down shopping habits comes with age. My contentment with my belongings and my self-perception improved. There's a lot of creative freedom when you stop caring about cultivating a specific persona or trying to evoke a certain aesthetic because you start to be selective about things that feel right to your own personhood/values.
I also don't have tiktok for similar reasons but now Instagram reels and RU-vid shorts mean I get pulled in to basically the same scrolling anyway. I wish I could disable them.
@@TessaAvonlea Agree with you completely, and as a musician I have an extra reason to avoid TikTok completely- some of the background music is really awful and cringey!
@@madnessarcade7447I understand that wholeheartedly, but I saw how difficult it was to navigate information about activism on instagram. Well meaning people can spread misinformation and it warps a lot of people's sense of effective activism or how to engage. It's not the worst, but the speed of information consumption has a lot of insidious effects
I'm a BIG FAN of outfit repeats. Being autistic/adhd and into fashion is wild because when I find a hit fit I will literally wear those items together and separately until they disintegrate off my body. These comfort outfits and pieces are so important when you're neurospicy or get easily overwhelmed by getting ready for work/events. I literally have a melt down if I can't put together an outfit quickly enough because my comfort items are in the laundry/need repair, the dysregulating leading to spiraling is real :')
The purpose of trends is to keep you buying new things constantly so companies can make the most profit possible. The only things that should matter with your personal style are: 1) do you like it? 2) Is it comfortable? (price, fit, and works for your lifestyle) and 3) does it make you feel confident? That's all. Everything else is irrelevant unless you care about "fitting in".
Honestly, I feel like the older I've grown, the less I care how I'm perceived, and that change has also led to wearing the things that make me feel most like me. There's definitely a social pressure component to style and the pervasiveness of social media in our lives has got to make that journey more difficult for younger generations (I'm an older millennial). I think people need to put down the apps when it comes to figuring out your own style. On a related note, I feel like the biggest obstacle to staying true to my own personal style is the endless battle with changing fashions, particularly for women. Like, when I find a style of shirt or skirt or pants that I like and that feel like me, having the fashion trend change so quickly makes it difficult to consistently find those "you" pieces, as you call them. There is a dialectic of sorts, between the ideal personal style I have in my head (or in my memories for those pieces now gone and never to be seen again...perhaps) and the personal style I can actually realize with the things available to me in retailers, thrift store, etc.
Love the last point that you made about fashion potentially leading us to overestimate clothes and underestimate people. I love fashion but def a good point always keep in mind!!!
I don't really know if I have a personal style, but I do know what makes me feel confident/happy/pretty, and they definitely don't fall under one niche/aesthetic, so I guess that's my personal style. If I had to describe one of the styles I like wearing and feel confident in, it would be "Ms. Frizzle but she also sometimes wears weird pants" core.
I have some pretty strong fashion opinions (those furry Chanel mules that were everywhere a few years ago? Couldn't stand them, I called them Chewbacca slippers. I also never got into peplum tops & dresses, and I've left the dad jeans in the fitting room because they just don't work for me), but I'm not sure that's enough to call myself 'fashionable.' While I love dresses, skirts and pretty flats, in reality, I value my comfort more than anything. I try to look put together by wearing elevated blouses (with interesting necklines such as square or sweetheart necks, frilly sleeves, satiny materials, etc.) and pairing them with well-fitting jeans. My go-to places for nice tops are Express, Loft & Banana Republic, and most of my jeans are from Hollister. That's become my go-to style because it's comfortable yet looks good, regardless of whatever new aesthetic becomes trendy.
1:13 so true, being through four pregnancies I totally wore sports bras and leggings 24/7 or longer dresses because nothing at all fit me from pre pregnancy clothes and having to buy everything new to actually have ANYTHING to wear that's too expensive so yeah it was leggings for me the whole time paired with my husbands big tshirts which is actually so comfortable
In fashion, as in life, we don't need labels for everything. I don't need to label my style. I need to know the I like midi dresses with flowers or polkadots, I like color, I like scarfs, and so on ("Ilike" being "I like to wear and I feel good in it"). I dont' have a name for my style also because I don't dress the same every single day. I may wear a pretty flowery dress today and tomorrow be wearing jeans and black t-shirt. We don't need labels because we are people, we feel very different things, everyday, multiple times a day, and it's ok to like multiple unrelated things. Also, it's ok to wear something we love even if it's not in fashion anymore
The most quintessential "me" outfit i have is a plain white long sleeve shirt, blue cotton overalls with a dasiy embroidered on the front and funky socks. The overalls are from Tree of Life and was a gift from my aunt :)
Just wanna say I love your more practicle style and backdrops. It makes it feel more enjoyable listening to you like your my friend (sad of me lol) in your house thats similar to mine and just makes you more relatable! Sometimes you tubers can feel too boujee or professional and loose that relatable touch that you have. Your the every-woman 👩 ♥
I think most ppl personal style tends to be influenced by what they wore in high school/early 20s, a refined version that includes hairstyles, make up and how you put an outfit together … maybe it’s just me
I remember my style choices fitting into most of the Spice girls looks for the talent show. Yet I would have showed up every day to school in a jogging suit if I wasn't shamed out of it. I was 11 at the time, and my teacher told my mom to stop letting me wear the jogging suits every day. The jogging suits where the classic 90s kid jogging suit with a cute design.
