Peter Freestone, Freddie Mercury's former Personal Assistant, talks about Freddie at the 24th International Queen Convention March 29, 2009 at Ponton's Brean Sands, Somserset, England.
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On rumors: this is the part of modern society that Freddie loathed. The press was bad during his final years; I think he'd become somewhat of a recluse if he had to deal with today's press. Granted, we know so much more about HIV/AIDS than we did during Freddie's illness. I can see why he didn't trust them. Sadly, I think it would be 2x as bad for him today, though, not because of AIDS, but rather out of ruthlessness.
He spoke of being lonely in interviews. It had nothing to do with actually being alone though. The movie made him out to be sitting at home all alone as if he had no friends. But what I've learned from bios is this is absolute nonsense. He was never alone but had too many friends if anything. His roadie said that he had "so many people who genuinely loved and cared for him" but that Freddie said one day that he could never be happy like the band members who had their wives and children which he would never have.
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Why imply Freddie was a liar? Freddie said many times that he was lonely. Why Peter feels the need to dismiss this is suss. Freddie specifically mentioned how he would have people around him, but still feel lonely, You can be loved by so many thousands of people, yet still be the loneliest person. And the frustration of that makes it even worse, because it’s hard for people to understand that you can be lonely. Can you imagine how terrible it is when you've got everything, but you're still desperately lonely?…Most people wonder how someone like Freddie Mercury can be lonely? He has money, he has cars and chauffeurs, he has the lot. You can seem to have everything, and yet have nothing. Maybe one day I’ll catch up with myself and that will be my downfall. In fact, sometimes that kind of loneliness is the hardest to bear because within all that, all the people around you, you’re still lonely. You see, loneliness doesn’t just mean shut off in a room by yourself, it can be that you’re in a crowded area but still be the most lonely person, and that’s the most hurtful thing.”
I think Peter understood Freddie well, there are just parts of Freddie’s life that he’s never going to discuss publicly. For example, Peter has said over and again that Freddie never cried in front of him, but that can’t be true. Freddie cried during Rock Montreal, and I’ve seen photos of him where he looks like he was on the verge of tears. Mack, who knew him less intimately, has talked about Freddie sobbing in front of him after an awful night. How is it that fans who didn’t know Freddie have seen him cry, but the man who lived by his side for 12 years never did? The way Peter describes Freddie is far more honest than most, but he’s still protective of him.