Please stop commenting about our post-chemo hair 🙅‍♀️ 

Totally agree. I wish people wouldn't comment on appearance at all. I have my final chemo tomorrow. I really hate when people say 'You look well', when underneath my scarf or wig and drawn on eyebrows, I don't recognise myself anymore and don't feel good with all the many, various side effects. Wishing everyone well ❤

We are all different !! You never know where someone is at with hair and other things … you are so right , best to not say too much

The “at least you have a nice shaped head”, drives me crazy!!!

I agree with you!!!!! Bald is not my best look!! I liked my medium blond hair. I’ve just finished bone marrow transplant and will be starting chemo again. Went pray for each other. Marsha

There can be toxic positivity. Some of my nurses have been awesome, some are about getting it done and like you're another #. I stay in my bubble. Your heart & soul & personality are who YOU are...a beautiful soul who touches lives💞🙏💞

100% agree! Thank you

"I" statements are about the speaker. "You" statements are about the person being spoken to. I wish I were close enough to go on a hike with you. I've always admired your knowledge and your desire to be outside. Go be amazing.

Totally agree!! I know people mean well, but geez!!! I’m 16 months post chemo now and I still hate my hair and my body. I know it’s a work in progress and I have seen positive changes, but I’m by no means happy about what I see in the mirror right now. Sick of people saying “well at least you’re alive!” Toxic…

These are the people that mean well. after hair loss that followed chemo and it not quite coming back as it was, I discovered there were a lot of nasty covert narcissists in my life. like people that hadn’t seen me in a while screwing up their faces at me; even more clever was a frenemy telling me “how much better I looked” than the last time she saw me. (i was wearing a wig. this experience will teach you who you can edit from your life. lots of toxicity out there.

Perfect timing! I asked my neighbor to go to a concert with me tomorrow. She has just finished the same treatments that you have been through and her appearance is very similar to yours! I hadn't actually thought about commenting on her hair or appearance, but I will make sure I dont now! You laid out some great alternatives talking points. Thank you.

Let me tell you- the kids from Kindergarten to high school Are all dyeing their hair gray. We are in the in crowd. You look great! After having cancer myself, thyroid, my gray hair is the least of my worries.

Im going through chemo myself. I look at it like this, yes i miss my hair because i had a head full of curly hair but when it grows back i know itll be much better than having no hair because i thought chemo curls or straight chemo hair was temporary and it will eventually go back to it's normal texture.

7 months post chemo and I e meat had thick corse hair ( which is lovely longer ) , so it is kinda just growing up and out … ha . I look like a mad scientist. I loved my long hair !!!! I’ve never earn it short :( so I don’t see myself wearing it natural for a bit and just invest in pretty long wigs it’s just me . I know some ladies luv to rock the short hair !

I totally get it I hate how I look & wearing wigs is not me but I don’t fault people who say you look good your hair is growing back they mean well my hair is coming back gray too after chemo

Yeh i totally agree with you Loosing hair for a woman is the worst experience along with the treatments not easy at all even if you know it will grow. Sending you lot of love ❤ to move on in your life with your kids n loved ones May God bless you 🙏 M

I did my last chemo on December 21st and it's still growing in like monkey hair. I can't wait for it to start growing normal. I miss my long hair.

People who comment about a person's hair especially in the context of a person being ill with cancer shows that we have a long way to go to educate the public about the consequences of treatment for cancer. Have a heart, show some respect and patience and understanding compassion instead of constantly reminding people that they have cancer. If you call yourself a genuine friend, you're job in this situation is to take care of your friends by helping them laugh and take they're mind off cancer and they're appearance. Remember that just because a person has cancer, doesn't mean that they have changed as a person. Go and read up on the various treatment options for cancer especially the side effects so you know what you are dealing with and equally important, how to support help and defend (where necessary) , you're friends and you will find that it's during these tough times that you're emotional bonds strengthen and deepen. This is when you really do appreciate, love and understand each other more than you ever have in the past. To those who work in the so called 'caring profession' and act cold and compassionless to the cancer patients in their care. Shame on you!! You're willful ignorance of cancer is NOT helping the situation. You're adding to the ignorance by your failure to recognise that whilst to you that maybe another patient, however, just think about it for a minute ok. That's someone else's mum, dad, brother, sister, cousin, uncle, aunt, grandfather or grandma. And see that patient is entitled to the same standard of care and compassion as any other patient. Or let me put it to you another way, roles reversed, let's say that it was one of YOU'RE family members or friends who was in hospital with cancer and you witnessed a member of the care staff team behaving like that, you would be incredibly angry with this?? Right so now when you are tempted to do the same especially with all the stresses of the job and everyday life and family commitments and responsibilities. Maybe just maybe, you could spare a thought for the patient in your care and their family and friends at this incredibly difficult time for them. Give them hope not despair. I know that the government tells you via a pre-prepaired roleplay scenarios guidelines of what to do and what to say to a cancer patient in your eyes. Instead of allowing yourself to become an empty space for the government to manipulate and through clever propaganda guide you away from the person that you are into becoming the face of the government. Show some love, respect, compassion for others as well. Living you're life by this principle, do unto others as you would have done unto you. In other words if you expect others to treat you with compassion and love, understanding and patience then behave like that to others by showing compassion and love, understanding and patience. Goes a long way to restoring faith in the human race as well as give you a reason to feel incredibly proud of you for what you have achieved today and every day. Remember that there is a real person who happens to be living with cancer. They may be scared deep inside about what cancer means for them and those that they leave behind should the worst case scenario happen. A smile, a hug, holding someone's hand makes a huge difference to them. I know that not all doctors and nurses in oncology (cancer department) are as unprofessional patronising and condescending and uncaring as that highlighted in the video. And to you I have to say thank you for all that you are and do in going above and beyond for your patience and understanding compassion and love.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🌈🌈🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Great points. Thanks for posting this

such good advise thankyou

I'm late with my comment but just had to say that mean-well nurses are here in the UK also. One said to me today that my hair growth was slight. I can't express how crushed I felt. My reply was that I have some hair growth not slight