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dont say that brother! every parents love their children ... You wont even understand or notice the sacrifices they make for you They just misunderstands things that leads them to force
I'm going through severe depression because I'm unable to get married as I live in a very judgemental society and my mom keeps saying I'm getting punished by Allah now because I rejected a proposal that she liked a couple of years ago. I have been terrified ever since then but listening to this lecture now made me feel better. It made me realise that I wasn't wrong to say " No" when I felt I wasn't ready.
Allah loves us more than 70 mothers how can he punish you for rejecting a marriage proposal where u were not ready! No sis InshaAllah something really good is written for you. Place ur trust completely on the Almighty😇
That's right sis. Why would Allah punish you for not loving a man that's not even your husband. Parents can be ridicules. Mine does too. Don't marry someone you don't like on impulse because people are taunting you. That impulse would fade away in a while and you would be stuck in that state for god knows how long... Maybe the rest of your life... That thought gives me shivers
I obied my parents and got married to a person I didn't like, not even a bit beacuse I thought he was a wrong guy and as result he betrayed with me within two months after our marriage. Dear parents Do Not force your daughters to marry a person she doesn't want to live with. I repeat Do Not. Let us live the life fully From Bangladesh
ikr It is definitely hard but if you approach it slowly. Like firstly they have to be in the fold of Islam properly and be very obedient to Allah. Once they are in such a condition start giving them a little by little Islamic knowledge slowly. Once they are interested and starts respecting you for this. Go ahead with your topic. Jumping into the main topic as an Asian is something really hard, Asian parents weren't brought up this way. But if you approach slowly I am sure by the will of Allah you will be able to do it
yup absolutely right.. I feel the same way.. they told me to tell them what I want they didnt mind, they open for what ever my opinion is.. but then they didnt agree and refuse my opinion
I feel like people in my culture are usually closed minded especially when it comes to religion and especially the older generations,is it just my culture?
The fact he is Pakistani but often mentions Bangladesh is enlightening though. Might be his wife or son in law from Bangladesh, or he was giving lecture in a place of majority listeners there are Bangladeshi Muslims
Force marriage is pretty common in Bangladesh...Dude,It's not a personal attack but fact.Girls have to sacrifice their with whom she never accept him as her husband.
3:15 When I was 15 I had my first hard la or job. Ever since, i always value money, respected my father and i knew i need to get educated cause i cannot do hard labor 40 hours a week. Alhamdulilah
I am from a 100℅ Islamic country and here people aren't interested in marrying their cousins. And our parents or grandparents don't joke about going to kill the boy who got in a relationship with you..
Subhan Allah your khutbahs draw attention in such a different way! It’s like hearing khutbah from a long-known friend! May Allah bless you with much more knowledge and May He bless us all too 💕
But that story doesn’t make sense to me The only reason she ended up marrying Julaybib was because the prophet (a.a.w.) ordered her to do it. How does that help fellow ugly Muslims today, if the prophet isn’t requesting people to marry us. Literally, I don’t get why people bring up that story as if it’s relevant for today
Well then talk to them, explain your reasons and opinions, Show them this video and ofc don't rise your voice and do not reject the idea of marriage because this will make them insist more Gl
Well hurry up and marry then. Women expire quickly so it’s better to get married young, this will also help protect you from zina women and men are so exposed to these days and yet you people wanna delay marriage (which is half your deen) simply for the sake of your “studies.”
@@sieg6635 it's not jus because of studies? Many don't want to marry because they will start having greater responsibilities to satisfy the needs of the husband and have a family. Not every woman is ready. Many r forced to have children merely after few months of marriage even tho the woman isn't ready n if they say they wanna have kids after 4 or 5 yrs they get frowned upon. Its a huge pressure on the woman wt wud u understand of it so keep ur dumbness to urself its none of ur business if she doesn't wanna marry now
It’s your life your happiness your future Put Allah 1st the prophets sunnah Your parents lived there life now it’s time for you to live your own lives.
Exactly, most of them are just selfish for their own agendas. They want to dictate every part of your life even when it comes to choosing your partner.. our parents won't live with us forever.. we will be stuck with our partner and if we are not happy it will be like torture. may Allah help us.
@@baybiiskAameen...Yes exactly... May ALLAH guide us all... May ALLAH protect us also from doing evil and reckless things... We should seek help from ALLAH, and try to be kind to our parents in our behavior... But that doesn't mean let them force us to do whatever they want.
MashaAllah very very beautiful & beneficial lecture from brother Nouman Ali😍👌. I feel comfort & getting encourage after listening this precious leccture. Thank you so much, I'm from Bangladesh😃.
SubhanAllah I haven't even watched halfway through the video and Ik it's for me. Literally an hour ago I was crying in salah questioning him why isn't he answering me when he promised openly call upon me and I'll respond and here I am after an extreme anxiety attack watching this video. SubhanAllah
Those who are still young, work like he did otherwise you will end up alone and dependent like me, I believed my parents I was brainwashed by my parents I was emotionally blackmailed by my parents and at the end I am older in 40's and became ill and dependent and told all the properties are all ours (not me included, and if given I can't even take care of it). Life happens and I never thought that I could ever get ill. Wasn't even allowed to find my own partner, in fact was threatened if I was to find someone on my own so as a girl I got scared and girls get scared especially the obedient ones who were/are made to fear Allah, and parents that to disobey them otherwise is Hell because they are not like boys or at least most boys but for boys rules are different (told as well) that they have needs so not sinful but for girls is sinful to even think about or show her likeness. Girls only want emotional love a partner in life. The way our ugly culture is no one will marry me regardless what the religion says and the kinds of older women our prophet has married to support them. Now if I want to even have kids I can't due to those medications and unstable health. Have your children now in 20's and if not too late your early 30's because kids require a lot of energy and your resources like your lack of sleep and off schedule, and food habits for others, weight gain comes due to lack of sleep and food timing disorder, because no one is able to help, and or food temptations when feeding your children because you never knew good eating habits; it though can be fixed but help of family is always great because your husband needs to work. Don't fall for "I can take care of my own kids" when you can live and ignore mistakes of other like in laws so you can get help and they get love from holding their grand kids and nieces and nephews. Those parents who deprive their children of love from their aunt's and uncle and grandparents due to ugly selfish politics have no interest at heart for them for the long run. Don't look at the assumed demonized made relationship that all in laws are bad but how that person really is, only Allah puts love or hate or dislike in people's heart's based on what they want not the given title of that relationships. Any ways get married, and if you are strong in emotions face the parents, you might get lucky. You will or may be humiliated, face the monsters because it's not the girls fault it's the fathers mostly who are selfish or greedy, don't let the words hurt your ego if you really want the girl but not as a trophy only if she is worth in character wise or in emotions for you based on how you feel, and if you get her don't punish her how her family is or treate d you because then Allah will punish you. As for girls if you find a hard working guy respectfully stand up and be firm in your decision and you work too in case your parents threaten you but this can happen only ones, so make sure that this guy is good if sacrifice comes to it but I hope it never comes to it so convince your family and pray. Now I am depressed because I have nothing to look forward to, I wanted to see how my children would look like and turn out, and then see their kids but non of it for me. Alhamdulilla I don't get jealous at all and I trained my mind but all this wrtting just for you guys to know the consequences of someone's obstacles so you don't create for yourself and children and to encourage your well being, though the media or so called friends or society always try to influence your thinking because I don't know what challenges are in your life are to not fall for that miserable and jealous trap that your "single life will be missed out" because they are miserable for the mistakes they made. Life is full of tests, get married and make it work unless you are only physically being abused, so other things learn to deal with but better to ignore. I hope may Allah give you all good partners and keep everyone healthy and together. We are only in this world for short time so don't set demands and expectations just do your own side of the best.
@@LTRLVRIFY JazakalAllah khairun. May Allah do the best for you in this world and in the hereafter for remembering me in your duaas. Your good wishful thinking brought tears to my eyes in this special night of Ramadan.
Reading this comment has made my heart sink as I'm in my mid 20s and my parents sound exactly like how yours are. My parents won't allow me to choose somebody myself (I recently came across a good guy who was everything I wanted in a person but had to let him go because of my parents backwards mentality) I don't want to disrespect my family because I'm aware of the consequences (if I say I'm interested in someone I will get abused) but they don't have somebody in mind for me either.. may Allah help us. I genuinely pray dear sister Allah makes it easy for you, there's khayr in every situation and though it may seem like theres darkness in your life just know Allah will reward you immensely for your sabr. you're in my prayers keep me in yours please as I am stuck..
Thank you for your comment Its shed light on something i did not understand I pray Allah keeps you close Have faith and patience my dear sister Love and light
I have listened to this and the best part is “be a man” that is what actually needed for today’s society esp for Pakistani males,when they just earn a professional degree and their pride is all they have.Instead of the basis which are required for getting married,and Astagfirullah the lame reasons they give for rejecting any female.In short sorry to say bit halal is actually difficult to find.Hope ALLAH bless with the righteous spouse Ameen.
قال رسول الله - صلى الله عليه وسلم - : " طوبى لمن وجد في صحيفته استغفارا كثيرا " . رواه ابن ماجه ، وروى النسائي في " عمل يوم وليلة" 🌹أستغفر الله العظيم و أتوب إليه🌹 🌹أستغفر الله العظيم و أتوب إليه🌹 🌹أستغفر الله العظيم و أتوب إليه🌹 The
Hi The biggest issue facing the Islamic society is this “cultural expiration date” you mentioned for women. Once they cross 25 years of age it becomes impossible to find decent proposals. I had responsibilities until I was 32, after which when I was finally financially relieved I have not been able to meet a decent man. We need to change the mindset of Muslim men really. Even the Muslim women don’t let their sons marry a women if she’s over 30. Can you please address this issue and create awareness for people to open their minds.
Well , i want into a healthy relationship with someone that love and accept me wholeheartedly. But find 'someone' with that personality is very hard, also I can't talk or just having normal conversations without stutter or struggle to another man that i don't know at all. In meanwhile my parents kinda gets me hype up to get married too like my other cousin that already got married.
I just hope, someday someone who is capable by the grace of Allah will take the project of dubbing these videos of ustadh Nouman Ali Khan Into Bangla, Hindi and Urdu. It will help many South Asian parents who find difficulties in understanding English but are really in need of getting these messages! May Allah bless Ustad Nouman and his family. Ameen. 🙂
In Bangladesh forcing women to get married is rare. Maybe it's done in the rural areas but in the cities and towns love marriages are popular. Even if it is arranged marriage , women's opinions are always taken to consideration. So forcing girls to get married is not the average situation.
Trust me, I did open my mouth and said things clearly. But they kept forcing me. I'm not involved in any haram relations. I want to finish my study. Want to complete my masters and then get married. I said these things clearly. But they kept forcing me with some emotional threats. And also they want me to marry someone who is 10/12 years older than me. This is not how I imagined my life would be. And nobody can change this things.
When I was a kid my parents used to say " ur czns are your brothers, but now when I grew up, asking who one u like tell us🙄🙄. sincerely I too wanna to have an adoption center where ones parents would be exchanged for a brand new series😔
Too Bad My dad encourages me and my sisters to get our degrees first before marrying. That way we don’t have to depend on her husbands if by any chance he decides to leave.
@@toobad9295 Probably because most Men grew up being told to " Man up " and to take care of the women he's about to marry financially , physically and emotionally ? The dad's a doing us Men a great favor by teaching his daughters to ' Man up ' and get a job . Its great to not having to take care of another adult if you're a man .
@@oscaka0073 that's probably something I'll never agree with, teaching boys they have to be emotionless as if they're robots and not normal functioning human beings just like women are, parents should be raising their kids by learning them to take care of THEMSELVES and teaching them to be independent whether it's a man or a woman, family isn't about one person doing everything family is about team work, a woman isn't a baby to be taken care of by someone else she's just as much as an adult as a man is
1. Do not be rude in speech (3:159) 2. Restrain Anger (3:134) 3. Be good to others (4:36) 4. Do not be arrogant (7:13) 5. Forgive others for their mistakes (7:199) 6. Speak to people mildly (20:44) 7. Lower your voice (31:19) 8. Do not ridicule others (49:11) 9. Be dutiful to parents(17:23) 10. Do not say a word of disrespect to parents (17:23) 11. Do not enter parents’ private room without asking permission (24:58) 12. Write down the debt (2:282) 13. Do not follow anyone blindly (2:170) 14. Grant more time to repay if the debtor is in hard time (2:280) 15. Don’t consume interest (2:275) 16. Do not engage in bribery (2:188) 17. Do not break the promise (2:177) 18. Keep the trust (2:283) 19. Do not mix the truth with falsehood (2:42) 20. Judge with justice between people (4:58) 21. Stand out firmly for justice (4:135) 22. Wealth of the dead should be distributed among his family members (4:7) 23. Women also have the right for inheritance (4:7) 24. Do not devour the property of orphans (4:10) 25. Protect orphans (2:220) 26. Do not consume one another’s wealth unjustly (4:29) 27. Try for settlement between people (49:9) 28. Avoid suspicion (49:12) 29. Do not spy and backbite (2:283) 30. Do not spy or backbite (49:12) 31. Spend wealth in charity (57:7) 32. Encourage feeding poor (107:3) 33. Help those in need by finding them (2:273) 34. Do not spend money extravagantly (17:29) 35. Do not invalidate charity with reminders (2:264) 36. Honor guests (51:26) 37. Order righteousness to people only after practicing it yourself(2:44) 38. Do not commit abuse on the earth (2:60) 39. Do not prevent people from mosques (2:114) 40. Fight only with those who fight you (2:190) 41. Keep the etiquettes of war (2:191) 42. Do not turn back in battle (8:15) 43. No compulsion in religion (2:256) 44. Believe in all prophets (2:285) 45. Do not have sexual intercourse during menstrual period (2:222) 46. Breast feed your children for two complete years (2:233) 47. Do not even approach unlawful sexual intercourse (17:32) 48. Choose rulers by their merit (2:247) 49. Do not burden a person beyond his scope (2:286) 50. Do not become divided (3:103) 51. Think deeply about the wonders and creation of this universe (3:191) 52. Men and Women have equal rewards for their deeds (3:195) 53. Do not marry those in your blood relation (4:23) 54. Family should be led by men (4:34) 55. Do not be miserly (4:37) 56.Do not keep envy (4:54) 57. Do not kill each other (4:92) 58. Do not be an advocate for deceit (4:105) 59. Do not cooperate in sin and aggression (5:2) 60. Cooperate in righteousness (5:2) 61. ’Having majority’ is not a criterion of truth (6:116) 62. Be just (5:8) 63. Punish for crimes in an exemplary way (5:38) 64. Strive against sinful and unlawful acts (5:63) 65. Dead animals, blood, the flesh of swine are prohibited (5:3) 66. Avoid intoxicants and alcohol (5:90) 67. Do not gamble (5:90) 68. Do not insult others’ deities (6:108) 69. Don’t reduce weight or measure to cheat people (6:152) 70. Eat and Drink, But Be Not Excessive (7:31) 71. Wear good cloths during prayer times (7:31) 72. protect and help those who seek protection (9:6) 73. Keep Purity (9:108) 74. Never give up hope of Allah’s Mercy (12:87) 75. Allah will forgive those who have done wrong out of ignorance (16:119) 76. Invitation to God should be with wisdom and good instruction (16:125) 77. No one will bear others’ sins (17:15) 78. Do not kill your children for fear of poverty (17:31) 79. Do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge (17:36) 80. Keep aloof from what is vain (23:3) 81. Do not enter others’ houses without seeking permission (24:27) 82. Allah will provide security for those who believe only in Allah (24:55) 83. Walk on earth in humility (25:63) 84. Do not neglect your portion of this world (28:77) 85. Invoke not any other god along with Allah (28:88) 86. Do not engage in homosexuality (29:29) 87. Enjoin right, forbid wrong (31:17) 88. Do not walk in insolence through the earth (31:18) 89. Women should not display their finery (33:33) 90. Allah forgives all sins (39:53) 91. Do not despair of the mercy of Allah (39:53) 92. Repel evil by good (41:34) 93. Decide on affairs by consultation (42:38) 94. Most noble of you is the most righteous (49:13) 95. No Monasticism in religion (57:27) 96. Those who have knowledge will be given a higher degree by Allah (58:11) 97. Treat non-Muslims in a kind and fair manner (60:8) 98. Save yourself from covetousness (64:16) 99. Seek forgiveness of Allah. He is Forgiving and Merciful (73:20) 100. Do not repel one who asks (93:10)
Thanks for sharing..., Islam is very beautiful.....in all the ways of living life.... Alhamdulillah......iam a Muslim...... Plz pray for me that Allah guide my father to this....... Ameen.......🤲🤲😭🤲
Each person should have the right to meet potential husband and wife and then decide. But never go for people who are narcissistic, those like to impress and are usually very egoistical, not caring for your needs but just to win people. Be wise, think with your mind what you are looking in your life partner before you start choosing one.
Can you please answer this question: Isn't that same with the girl, "get a job even though high school and college"? It will turn you into a woman. I believe, now there is the age of equalism. If you want to have some quality from that opposite gender. You have to have that too.
@@shazzadulhaque2543 why is that? Why you think like that? If you don't have a answer then the answer is 'yes'. You expect some quality from the other person. First, you should have it too.
@ShitGotReal First, what you mean by pious men? Second, after seeing your talk, you seem like, avoid the *competition* by choosing a woman of your expectancy. it seems like, you want to have full *control* , not 50/50.
@Isabella Swan Why I say this comment, just hear me out… When somebody is angry, anything can happen depending on the person. (Raised his hand) in an abusive relationship, some girls don't take the necessary step because "but I love him" - NO, mostly it happens that they are not taught to be financially independent. She doesn't want, to get out of there and be a burden on her parents. Because of that, she-bear that abusive relationship. So basically is a compromise because of security issues. (Adjust🤣) For the case of a girl, there's 2 option - get a job/business, Or be a housewife. Hmm, in the case of a boy, there is no second option. We're preparing the boys for this situation but not the girls. That's COOL. Wow. So, in the case of a girl, there must be ONE option just like a boy. So, don't tell me She or anyone doesn't need to. It MUST. Look, I'm just 17. If you feel disagree just let me know why... I'm open to learning.
I tried my best to be a Women my religion wants me to be...and I am 21 and thinks this is the perfect age to be married I came across a man in my junior college class and I have yet not seen any other man so decent and close to character of sunnah... I didn't contact him ever and I don't even know what he is upto... Now the problem is i want to talk to my father about this and send a proposal... But m afraid if he already loves someone else or if his family has already fixed his marriage I don't want to be embarrassed after being openly accepting it as m an introvert too..its hard for me to express my feelings especially when I know I'll be judged.
Get your father to talk to his father or you can goto his father directly if you want and ask if he is engaged/married or not and if not you can talk to him formally and get to know him, and then propose to him.
Saira If someone is closeness to u even may be ur family member or ur friends in ur muhalla than share this to him/her to convey the messages to ur parents but u will say all the reasons how? And from where u know him ok
@Saira if someone who close to u either may be ur family member or friends share this to say ur parents and also say how? From where u know him tell the story Seems I am also one of u ialso studying I am a boy ialso have same thoughts that I don't make haram relationship and I also like someone but parents know me , I'm try to fulfill my dream then I do that My parents know that wants her cordially but they also know that I am following sunnat-E-rasool so , but some time after 6th months or year they where does she I also don't talk to her she is junior of one class to me also we are away from home in a same city for preparation of exams
Ok what all u said was right, but parents r d one who brought us up they know us better than anybody. How can der choice ever be wrong for their children. They invested their blood and time in search of a right guy. Due to thier blesings n duaas our life will eventually be better even if the guy is bad. For example: i was married to a guy of my parent’s choice. At the age of 19. I was really good at studies n very ambitious, my parents searched a guy for me who is as ambitious n religious as i am and I completed my education afta marriage n afta becoming n mom. On the other hand my friends who actually opened der mouth n said i like so n so or many be showed how much they prefer career over marriage are still single and depressed. If we obey our parents and believe they will good the best, Allah will make our lives easier.
@@AsmaBellounis_Sarah Tu as tout dit. Dommage que les mosquées en France ne s'impliquent pas davantage dans ça, mais continuons à faire des duas. Qu'Allah t'accorde un bon mari si c'est un bien pour toi dans cette vie comme pour al akhira. ❤🙂
@@AsmaBellounis_Sarah C'est vrai que c'est pas facile tu veux à la fois choisir toi-même mais t'as pas envie de te retrouver dans le haram. Et quand tu demandes conseil à tes parents ils te disent de te débrouiller toute seule sans vraiment te donner de démarche à suivre...
- Who were you talking to ? The uploader of this vid ? - Oui. - Why he should translate this in YOUR language and not arabic or spanish for exmple ? - I sais that will be beneficial for.... - This can be beneficial even for arabic and spanish speakers muslim. Why he has to translate in YOUR language ? Do the uploader speach french ? - Non. - So who will translate this vid FOR YOU ? Who can translate this vid FOR YOU ? - I don't know. I only think to myself.
bio Shock are you talking about that secondary school teacher from the U.K.? If so he was my maths teacher in secondary I was so shocked reading the article 😂😂😂😂
bio Shock That doesn’t answer her question. He could literally use his own country as a more fitting example in his lectures but always uses the same ones.
This force marriage thing happens all around the globe not just Asiana but people have just got serious problems with Asians, hence people are just reffering to desi people putting stereotypical comments and they call it a joke.
If you were working 48 hrs a week then how were you attending school and why would you be working anyways at the age of 9? Chiild labour isn't allowed.