PSA: GTA Trilogy - Definitive Edition Is a Mess & You Shouldn't Buy It 

I tried to use clips that were entertaining in some way, but these are far from the only problems I witnessed. In 16 hours, rarely 10 minutes went by without seeing some kind of issue, both big and small. While they may be funny to witness, it's not funny that Rockstar/Take-Two thought this was acceptable to sell while also removing the original versions from digital stores. Do not buy these GTA remasters! These are mobile ports lazily upscaled and rushed out the door without any care in order to increase holiday profits. I got San Andreas on Game Pass and still feel ripped off. And if you're interested in watching any of my streams live, you can follow my Twitch channel here: twitch.tv/CriticalNB

I like how DEFINITIVE Edition of the game is a buggy UE4 port of a buggy mobile port of a buggy PC port of a buggy XBOX port of a PS2 game. And with many songs removed from the radio as well.

This game feels like a unfinished school project.

They sacrificed everything in the game just for some shaders, incredible.

The taxi part is pure gold. I refuse to believe it's a bug; they added it as a feature.

And Rockstar has the audacity to announce a GTA 4 definitive edition after this scam. Hilarious.

You know what's the funniest part ? While Rockstar released this broken mess, some modders have already started to work on fixing some issues like the horrible rain and some textures. The irony is real.

1:16 You could always get negative money by gambling (and loan sharks would come after you if you don't repay your debts, GTA4 flashbacks), however it's never supposed to happen during the shopping menus as yknow, you can't spend more money than you have while shopping - specifically in this scene if you did manage to spend all of your money on a fly haircut, the game would give you extra money to buy yourself a cheap pizza and initiate Ryder's robbery cutscene, instead of softlocking you or forcing you to beat up random prostitutes for a quick buck

I don’t think the devs understood that the graphics weren’t meant to look cartoony. When the original came out it looked like real life. I’d expect to get the same feeling in the updated version of the game. Instead they just took the old graphics from today’s point of view and think they look bad so they just recreate a bad look for the game destroying the original feel of the game.

And people somehow defend them taking the originals off.

Therapist: "Definitive Edition close up CJ Face can't hurt you." CJ Face: 14:00 Me: *Curls up in a ball.

This is why I keep my old games and consoles. At least those games work as intended.

Jesus Christ, the taxi part is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in a game. Holy shit.

Yeah this is really bad and people still wonder why so many creative leads have left rockstar studios. The last three years are a very good indication of what to expect from rockstar in the future. Don't even hold your breath for GTA6. Not going to happen. There are many reasons for that. Rockstar only exist in name nowadays. The studio itself has disbanded a long time ago. I haven't even mentioned the ILLEGAL practices they have done with the PC release of this trilogy. I hope someone takes them to court over this.

11:07 Feels like I'm watching a nature documentary about the mating rituals of taxi cars.

(A long list of) Timestamps: 0:00 ATV jumpscare 0:21 Crit saying not to buy this mess 0:40 Talking about the visual clashing 1:09 CJ becomes indebted to the barber -mafia- shop 1:27 The game's failsafe for running out of money fails to account for barbershop debt, almost resulting in a soft lock 2:13 CJ meets a man who blurs the definitions of shirt and skin 2:35 Crit talks about cutscenes ending early, shows example 3:05 Binco weirdness 3:42 CJ rejects our puny laws of physics and phases into solid matter 4:00 Talking about the rockstar launcher and encountering another skin bender 4:55 CJ acquires *THE CHROME DOME* 5:24 Talking about the weird delay when running 5:46 The bridge is on vacation 6:16 All natural grass tents 7:03 The game has a stroke 7:25 Jizzy has bad reception 7:37 The GIF(t) that is rain 8:54 CJ realizes his house is haunted 9:21 CJ shows off the Muppet defence mechanism of ceasing their breathing, attempting to appear as a weeping angel 9:58 CJ experiences what it's like to be in GMOD 10:13 The scene that embodies this "remaster" 10:30 CJ enjoys his new life as a rock person 10:57 Emergent storytelling as demonstrated by an insane taxi driver/the elaborate and destructive mating ritual of the taxi 12:55 A car undergoes mitosis 13:22 Grass induced slideshow 13:52 ATV jumpscare (again) 14:14 Crit having fun with the ATV camera 15:07 Crit's final thoughts

Negative money has always been in. However, it's a feature for when you arrive in Las Ventures. Basically, if you go into negative money, loan sharks will send hitmen after you whenever you're in Las Ventures and are in negative money. Although, I'm not sure how you got into negative money when in the barber shop. It should've just not allowed you to buy the haircut.

Not crazy, CJ's sprint is off by a second.

The best part is that all of this exposure is just going to make people curious to see what the original games are like and the only way to play these games now, short of purchasing for probably over a hundred bucks off Ebay, is to pirate them because Rockstar removed all of them from digital distribution.

So happy I didn’t buy It. I even considered preordering it. I dodged a huge bullet there.

The taxi scene broke me 😂

This makes Sonic 06 looks more stable.

The old ones look better. It's just a badly done 4k textures mod

"It's a remaster, not a remake, what are you complaining about" Rockstar droolbot

Really looking forward to the developer breakdown videos we will have of these "remakes" in a few months or so maybe. Looking at the studio Rockstar outsourced this to, it's a studio that literally only does mobile ports. Plus that made that bad 360 port of SA as well. This is so dammed lazy, makes me wonder if they just relied on an AI to upscale most or everything, and then didn't bother to test, or just didn't care.

the taxi situation has happened to me before in the steam san andreas version, it's kinda rare and quite funny seeing the npc throw itself at the car

This is like "The Room" of video game remasters. I couldn't stop laughing

Thr definitive edition of the classic trilogy was the only thing I was anticipating this year. My expectations weren't super high, but I thought I was going to be in for a good time, but you know it turned out. It's a damn shame it turned out this way. Hopefully they fix it up, or at least give us the clasic versions to buy again.

Duuuude, I’m glad you uploaded this and I’m glad I watched it. I knew there were a TON of bugs and glitches and horrid character models and all that janky stuff, but I didn’t think it was THIS bad. Like when you were showing how the rain “effect” just stops when you pan the camera a certain way, I felt my jaw hit the floor. Just insane how these remasters had zero quality control.

The rain in the original still looks good today. Proper lightning and thunderclouds

I still have the original Ps2 copy of San Andreas from 2004, might go play that sometime

Okay so heres a list of reasons to not buy it . 1. Cannot do a mission because of a bug. (In vice city & San Andreas) 2. Missing bridge textures at two locations! 3. The rain!!!!! 4. Lack of fog & weather effects. It takes away the atmosphere. 5. You cannot save photos from the camera 📷 😂 (we had that option on Ps2) 6. No two player mode ,it has been removed 7. Less music tracks !!!! 8. A random red halo marker in the middle of nowhere like the ones you walk on to start missions. Like they put it there by accident. 9. I'm tired of listing all the problems now 🤣😴but the list goes on 🤣 I had to ask for a refund because I cannot progress in the stories because the main missions got stuck!!!!!!!

You definitely could have negative money (aka go into debt) before. Normally though, this would happen due to gambling in Las Venturas, and going into debt would enable the possibility of receiving a phone call from the casino (whenever you're around the area), and goons would be sent to kill you.

It's almost as if they put the AI they used to upscale the textures to port this entire game.

Best 16 mins of comedy that I've seen lately. Bravo! Also, that cab driver surely must have had a personal vendetta against your taxi lol

Rockstar today: I got caught up in the money. The power. I don't give a shit. Aw fuck man.

The AI upscaling thought his Chain was the start of a tank top and changed the colour of his chest

You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villian.

This makes Cyberpunk look stable

What a nice change of pace from your usual content (even though that stuff is excellent). I hope to see more stuff like this - highlights from your streams - when the right game calls for it.

This "Definitive Edition" looks like the early stages of a Garrys Mod based game

That atv glitch had me in stitches lol.

The Taxi bit almost made me choke !

Watched your streams and they were hilarious, best first Clip to use in your intro

If you love Tom Hooper's excessive use of close-ups in Les Miserables, you'll DEFINITELY LOVE THIS GAME.

I forgot what RU-vidr said this but it pretty much sums up the people defending this lol. Which is that people defending the definitive edition are just people who blindly pre-ordered the game when it was announced, realized it was bad after playing it, then they go online to defend it so they don't feel bad that they just wasted $60.

How did anybody look at this and thought, "Yeah this is good enough to release"?

4:42 I think the ring on her collar is meant to be the ambient occlusion that goes in her neck, and the UVs were warped/scaled incorrectly. The color of her cleavage shadows are the same color as the ring.

The GTA T: DE is the reason why I sometimes hate to see a remastered version of a older game. How many times did I see a remaster which underperformed in many ways and the developers, publishers and random people defending the game with the argument that it is ONLY a remaster. IMO that's just a lazy excuse to grab money without putting that much of an effort in. To be straight with you, I support remasters, that replace original games, in cases where it is fitting, where the game just needs some few tweaks, changes and is already in an almost perfect state to hold up in the current time. But in this case they should just have keeped or ported the original games on the newer hardware while developing and releasing a full on Remake which is worth to pay good money for.

I heard Take 2u will also be responsible in making the GTA5 enhanced expansion that will be coming March 2022 as well & my only fear is that Modding GTA5 will also come to an end just like they are currently doing with the classic GTA’s right now…

You know I always look forward your videos. Keep em up!

Bro that Taxi Fight was intense. This is truly a Certified Definitive Moment

14:31 That Mutahar laugh tho

And I love CJ's little stick neck when he goes to bench press in the gym!

6:52 Dont worry guys 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 is my favorite part in this whole video 😂

They won't do anything about this. The only reason they made this was to be able to remove the old games. They don't want you playing old games because they can't make money off them.

I really hope the upcoming VR port of GTA:SA for the Quest 2 uses the classic graphics instead of the "definitive" textures.

Let's face it, rockstar have messed up here big time. I honestly don't understand how they could of messed this up so much. Just pure lack of effort. Stop buying their products. But that's why they havnt bothered with the effort, they know everyone will go and buy it anyway. Boycott them for a bit lol.

11:49 this has to be the San Andreas equivalent of MLG 360 no scoping somebody lmfaoooo had me dying

at the beginning, you screaming scared me more lol

This is why I'm glad I still have my PS2 with all the classic GTA games for it. I will not support Rockstar if they're gonna release half-assed bullshit like this.

12:19 made me think of Austin Powers International Man of mystery when he gets stuck in the hallway on the lil golfcart 😂😂

The a button sprint startup glitch has me thinking something was wrong with my controller

I swear, i think they did some kind of change to make traffic drivers randomly run over/ram you for no reason

SHAME ON YOU EA, I mean CoD, no hang on…ROCKSTAR!? SHAME ON YOU! 20 YEARS……. and you do this to the very thing that made you a household name. This is complete disrespect to the fans that turned from boys to men playing these games. There’s no going back from this. This is rockstar way of saying without actually saying the words - “ We don’t give two hoots about you, just the green in your wallet” absolute shambles.

LOL, I did the same thing with my haircut and then being unable to buy food! I just reset my save file though

Hey Critical, I have a ps5 and i'm thinking of double dipping to get an xbox (game pass) is it worth?

They might’ve been too busy getting rid of the “offensive, outdated” joke and themes rather than making it playable for next gen consol

That CJ jumpscare was so perfectly timed though

I’m glad I’ve seen more than one channel address this game. I think I’ll just stick to the PS2 version I have in my PS3. Thank you for showing this before I ran out and purchased it.

That delay to your sprint can be fixed by changing the controls to where you hold A to run instead of tapping it

That intro is the hardest I've laughed in a while.

Lol what the hell is wrong with companies this year? Sonic Colors was a mess, N64 games on NSO are a mess, GTA is a mess....

12:37 I love how the voice line ends abruptly. Sums up this "definitive edition". They couldn't get the idle voice lines right.

I actually read somewhere that the infamous Hot Coffee code was found in this Definitve Edition, which is part of the reason they removed it from digital distribution for about 72 hours (plus it still played song tracks they no longer had the license for and had to disable and/or remove them to avoid being sued by the artists and/or copyright holders of said song tracks). However, if you actually COULD access Hot Coffee in this version, well, that would be TECHNICALLY a Definitive Edition. 🤷‍♂️

Yeah, and you should play Metal Gear games for that video we all waiting.

I bought the Switch version. I got a refund for it 24 hours later. Going into the game, I knew there were going to be some issues. Just like you, I saw the screenshots on Twitter of weird looking character models. But I was willing to overlook a handful of goofy faces, and I honestly still am. I will not, however, tolerate abysmal performance from games that are 15-20 years old. Find someone else to sell your "remastered", sub-30 FPS PS2 games to.

Since you did the Hitman series, any plans to review the Death To Spies series? They're games inspired by Hitman where you play as a Russian Spy in WW2, you even get to do covert stuff in American/British locations for a few missions.

I'll admit I was slightly excited when I watched the reveal trailer, but all of that went away when I heard all the removed songs were still missing from The Definitive Edition. To me it showed that R* was throwing as little money as possible into the games and the final product really shows it. I'm still completely happy playing my PS2 copies of GTA 3, VC and SA in my backwards compatible PS3.

This game reminds me of a shitty lighting mod that completely breaks the game.

GTA The Trilogy The Definitive Edition isn’t a horror game GTA Definitive: 0:08

14:31 that laugh sounds like mutahars laugh lmao :D

8:59 “You can’t stop the rain” 😭😭😭

"The Definitive Edition of GTA is trash!" "Water is wet"

i am so happy that i one day on a whim decided to buy the original ps2 classics release

My friend got the definitive edition on thursday played it at his house on friday and saturday and I noticed that it does have a lot of problems in one of the cutscenes claudes hair turned white and in another mission where you are escorting the truck to shore side vale at the end it doesn't go into the warehouse it get's stuck so it really does have a lot of problems

I haven't started VC or SA yet but outside of a few crashes I haven't had any bugs or glitches happen to me

I like how they delay the GTAV definitive version and then decide to spit this out

I did the mistake to buy It the second It came out. Fuck my luck

The taxi scene cracked me up. And you didn't mention the big tree falling through the street.

Did you know that the original GTA San Andreas on PS2 had a small bug. The DFT30 vehicle had 5 wheels instead of 6. Does the definitive edition have the same thing?

I just save $60 today thanks to this video. Thank you sir

So these are the broken Android ports. With none of the bugs fixed. With none of the mobile shortcomings corrected. With very little thought given to respecting the original art design in the games. And some of the new stuff added or changed isn't even done correctly? If these were perfect ports with everything working right and we just had to deal with the visuals, this would be a great package. Modders would eventually figure out a way to fix the worst of it. But this? It's literally the broken-ass android ports with an unpolished and low-skill mod pack slapped on. All the games even use San Andreas menu sounds... Rockstar has a vast sum of money at their disposal, and we get something some guy probably slapped together in his mom's basement. This is awful. The original games on an emulator are a better experience. Just throwing a few mods on the PC versions gives you a way better experience. SilentPatch, GInput, Widescreen Fix, and SkyGfx pretty much give you a fully modernized and restored version of all 3 games. And that's before you add actual graphics mods with really well tuned ENB. The games play and look great on PC.

The taxi bug could be from a cut feature where cars would chase and ram you if you crashed into them but was cut pretty late in development

Bro which platform your using? I haven't seen yet on my pc..

The Thumbnail literally convinced me to not buy it

Definitive lackluster. Go way Rockstar, it's embarrassing to be seen with you right now. xDD

Dont know if im being dumb but at 6:20 when he crashes into the car, not even 5 seconds later when he looks back its just de spawned.

this right here is when piracy becomes ok, when you wanna experience the trash but also dont wanna spend money on it

You could get negative money in the original but it was only possible to do so at casinos. Not arguing that this is a good version of the game. Just thought I should clarify that I think this version is shit