As always, a heartfelt "thank you" to everyone involved in creating this resource! (and a special thank you to dr. Ramani for talking about narcissism in academia)
Gaslighting is the most insidious form of abuse in my view because it leaves the victim confused and off-balance. And when someone is confused about reality, and off-balance emotionally- they are easier to control. Thank-you Dr Ramani- 🙏🏽for clarifying this for us. As a therapist who works with domestic violence, a red flag goes up for me when a client walks in and is in a fog or confused about his or her perceptions.
I had been having such a hard time but now that my notorious con artist sister is in prison, it is easier not having to defend. The lies are public. Two more documentaries coming out. And she just started a prison blog which spews lies. I am really relying on these podcasts these days. Thank you.
Dr Ramani it’s like you have an absolutely clear view into my family at the moment, both my parents have passed and my narc brother & Sister in law have cut the rest of the family out of their lives. I knew it was going to happen but other family members are still in a state of shock, specially his niece & nephews. We have come together as a family and have gone no contact, and have decided that if that is the way it is,……….it is the way it is!!! I can only speak for myself but it has been the most difficult thing that has ever happened to me, but I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but always remember these family members NEVER change, so no contact means NO CONTACT!! No matter how difficult it is. 💕 Your RU-vid channel has been important in keeping me on the straight and narrow! Many many thanks! 😊
Wow-you have described my Nic brother to a Tee. The poison spread about the other three siblings when we were young, the financial trouble caused to the rest of us, the grabbing of our parents’s house. Parents not seeing through it was a serious problem . Now, 10 years after their deaths, he wants to bring the siblings together before one of us four dies-playing the death card. I have gone minimal contact for years, although let the kids relate to their cousins they wish, but no way am I attending a reunion where the brother holds forth as pater familias and lectures the rest of us. Would turn my stomach and take 3 months to get over. Glad to have a close relationship with my sister, but really am repulsed by my “attractive” malignant Nic/vulnerable Nic brothers.
Thank you Doctor Ramani. You are a Godsend. I could have been rolling in the muck and ruminating endlessly if I hadn't been educated by your informative My siblings are chips off the old narcissistic block. After taking the abuse for awhile, I no longer subscribe to my Family Narcissistic Channel. No contact has been a relief, and I hope I can maintain the strength and not get emotionally vulnerable in the future.
This was a fantastic episode. Please continue them. You're Highlighting real difficult questions and giving honest specific answers that are helpful enough to apply and assist others. Thank you again!
Thank you. I grew so tired of hearing my husband act like the physical abuse didn't happen, talk about our sex life as happening less than it did even though I was keeping track for fertility purposes and then he would call me an idiot, my memory was going bad, or I was just trying to cause problems. Then he turned my 17 year old son against me. My son started gaslighting me. He would tell me that he was tired of hearing his father talk bad about me and when I would bring it up my son would say "I never told you that and geez I know who not to trust if I did tell you something. " now my son calls me a lunatic and tells me that the only reason his dad won't get him a car is because he doesn't want to deal with me whining about it, "no one wants to deal with you" when really we just can't afford it. I also have a few narcissistic siblings..... all females. I'm surrounded by them. I'm starting to believe my mom is one and I just thought she was a mean person , only to me, but she would get my sisters to gang up on me and pit us against each other to have one specific golden child on her side . My life is full of them
A brief excellent reminder of your teachings And Summary Of important points to remember. I think sometimes we get caught up in the hope cycle and lose sight of the issues so videos like these are important, At least for my healing journey. God bless
My story is way to long to put in this comment. I just want to say that with an abusive Father ( borderline) Mother (co dependent) It’s no wonder the issues we have amongst us four siblings. I left my Narcissist ex husband just after my son died. After learning about personality disorders, I could recognise behaviours in all of us. But one sister stands out to be the manipulative and abusive one. She took advantage of my situation and presented to support me only for her own agenda. My other two sibling fell out and blocked her after the abuse with our Mother. She set me up against my Mother, which resulted in those two siblings blocking me. When I discovered she has remained friends with my ex and had him and his new source over for dinner, I blocked her. It left me with no support or validation for went I had been through. My other two sisters are talking to me now, but I have to swallow a-lot of hurt.
It’s not more devastating if it’s family because they are not special. They are just people. Like you said they were probably toxic without knowing about this person being gay.
Can we detect narcissism early on during childhood or teens? Especially if one of the parents is a narcissist and the other is a victim. Can we mitigate it? I hope I am noticed. Thank you in advance. More power to your podcast.
They employ relatively all the same tactics that adult narcs do. Lie pathologically, play the victim, scapegoat others, use charm to manipulate... My brother was a narc child and he still is... because they have no empathy or compassion it's going to be difficult for any intervention.
The cycle of abuse will never end in a narcissistic family system. I made the decision to go no contact. Family court will never understand the abuse that goes on behind closed doors. Narcissists know what to say and how to appear to the public. People have a hard time believing the victim when the narcissist paints the story the world wants to buy.
Yes! Now many people are seeing what my sibling is like years after three family members have passed away. Her current spouse is now the one taking her abuse. I have gone almost no contact.
Great Questions and as always Great answers. I can relate to all of it. I was with a narcissist and alcoholic for 40 years Before I knew what narcissism was, I thought I was dealing with an abusive angry person with an addiction. I also knew that alcohol was a fuel to the abuse. Some of the worse times and the last time when I decided to leave for good, was when he was really drunk. As my therapist said, it’s a no win situation. Yep I loved him and still do, he is gone but the memories stay, no matter how much therapy you do.
