Quarter life crisis - refusing this era of productivity and success. 

knowing someone feels this way means so much to me. I will never forget your video "on being a late bloomer", which is how I found you, and more recently, "on grieving". and this one touched me as much. it's comforting to know that what the world imposes on ourselves doesn't have to mirror what we want. the pressure, the pain, the ideas and meaning we built around failure, ageing, living, it all weighs so much. that is what drains me the most. thank you for talking about these feelings, it's so important at least to me, and I hope you continue to share them. it helps more than you know.

Emy, you've really come a long way. Some successes you may not feel yet but we can see it.

I've felt this way, but I have come to realize that life is boring for the most part and has no ultimate meaning, other than what you give it. People try to distract themselves from this fact by being busy. But often, it's a fake busyness spent running errands or chasing materialistic things. Instagram memories are a dime a dozen. The best parts of life occur when the boring life routines are interrupted by ephemeral moments of connection with others or losing yourself in something that you enjoy doing, regardless of whether society values it. No one can take those memories away or replicate them. Happy Birthday. Write the book. It's not a race, enjoy the process. I'll buy the first copy.

As soon as you said the part about spending your birthday alone and people asking you what you did I felt like you took the word from my mouth! So many times I feel like I need to lie about what I did last weekend or last summer or on my 21st birthday because in reality I didn't do anything crazy and it's not like I didn't have a good time, I just didn't go bungee jumping or get drunk and passed out at a club. As someone who also just enjoys a simple life of walks, reading, cooking and staying home I don't know why I have to feel so ashamed of it. It goes along with the new year's resolution thing as well. I feel like I have to do X y and z by this time and I just wonder why going on that trip to Indonesia makes a person more valuable than another. Thank you for making this video so I know I'm not alone in thinking this is not right.

You put into words something that I too struggle with: aging, the perception that you've been ejected from "real life" somehow, also being an introverted person who hasn't "achieved" much but has loved much and has hopefully added value to the lives of those around her but still feels worthless and like life is passing by... I too have little to no interest in having a career or being successful (in the world's version of success) or making tons of money. I also enjoy the simpler things of life - a good meal, a book, a day to myself. And I also feel like someone is going to burst in on me someday and say "look! You've wasted your life, you've wasted your youth. You've achieved nothing. You're not independent and you could be so much more but you dont really want it and you're a failure." Its the voice of society, really. And it is depressing and it is a weight - a faceless weight - that I now know I'm not the only one carrying. I'm not desperate for some kind of success, though I do want to feel useful and I do want to feel purposeful. I wrote a book myself, and I only bring this up to explain how even that doesnt quite alleviate these feelings of worthlessness. I'm 23 now and I wrote a memoir as a teenager. It sits unread and unpublished on a hard drive in my computer because my family fell apart the year I was going to publish it. I never went to college, don't have a job. But I wrote a book. I feel like we use these things as shields to protect ourselves from society and that nameless someone who is going to burst in (maybe its a future version of myself) and say "what have you done with your life?" With all that I said, I can say with honesty that the struggle isn't as severe as it used to be and I feel this way less and less (the less I focus on it, the better) and I have to attribute that to my relationship with God. The more I focus on Him and on His goodness the less these things seem to matter. It lifts that weight from my shoulders. I don't have all the answers but there is something very reassuring about knowing and trusting the one who does. And that's the only solution I've found to all these intense, anxiety-inducing questions. Thanks for sharing these thoughts Anastestia. Somehow it helps knowing I'm not the only one who struggles with this... I pray you find peace. ❤

I completely agree with everything you said in the video! It feels as though it’s being ingrained in us that you have to be a contributing part of the capitalist society as soon as you leave high school and if you aren’t you’re nothing but a burden. I decided to take a gap year between high school and university for my mental health and unfortunately in turned into two years and the way people react when I tell them I’m not in university or working it’s as if I’m spoiled and lazy and I’m “wasting my prime years”. In the meantime I’ve learned a lot about myself, about how I want to live, how I want to help people, about the things I actually want to do and I’ve taken a few online courses and have actually been productive in my chosen field. When I was a child and in my early teenage years I used to think once I turned twenty my life will be over and I’ve realised now that I’ve turned twenty is that my life has actually just began and I feel better equipped to start university and to do the things that I want to do. But of course this weird feeling of guilt and incompetence still lingers a few steps behind, but I’m determined to fight it. Anything that we choose to do that’s against the perceived normal is just helping more people realise that you can live in your own truth, in your own way and define success in different terms other than money and family.

Thank you so much for your authenticity and vulnerability! Watching this video was like a hug to me and I feel a little bit less alone right now!❤️

I definitely agree with you. I turn 17 this year and I feel like all my time is dedicated to studying for my Abitur exams in 2 years. I feel as if my youth is wasted on academic stress, when I don’t even know what I want to study or if I want to at all. Being unwillingly put into this rat race just to “keep my options open“ is something i can’t personally justify. At the same time, I can’t change anything about this. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, I admire you for being so open about a topic that is hardly discussed

Je ne commente jamais sur les vidéos, mais ici j'ai besoin de dire: merci. Merci beaucoup pour cette vidéo. J'ai une vision de la vie comme quelque chose de tellement plus que seulement ce que l'on voit. Je n'ai jamais compris le principe de la recherche de la productivité en elle-même, pour elle-même. J'ai 22 ans et quand je pense à ma vie dans 15-20 ans, je n'ai pas l'image d'une grande maison, deux enfants, un mari et un chien. Je veux, comme tu l'as dis, vivre simplement. Je n'ai pas comme aspiration d'avoir beaucoup d'argent. Le succès, je ne le mesure pas au chiffre dans mon compte en banque. J'aimerais quitter ce monde en ayant fait mon possible pour l'améliorer un peu, en aidant les gens, en exposant les discrimination systémique, en parlant de véganisme. Et parfois j'en viens à me sentir seule, parce que j'ai l'impression que personne ne partage cette vision de la vie, et j'en viens a me dire que je suis jeune et idéaliste; qu'en vieillissant je vais changer. Bref, merci, comme toujours, de parler de ce qui compte vraiment. Et joyeux anniversaire.

Emy, Happy Birthday! For me personally, you make the difference because I get inspiration and a new point of view listening to your reflections on things in life - for example the topic of productivity today. You illuminate some of the areas of my life, to which I forgot to look into and suddenly I feel freer by understanding myself and the world around me. To me, this is what meaningful success looks like. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. And cheers to more videos from you in the future (which I love watching whenever I have calm Saturday and Sunday mornings). Thank you for being unashamedly yourself and sharing yourself with others.

This video was all I needed, thank you for your bravery in sharing such personal feelings. I personally identify with every single aspect you mentioned and it just feels like a breath of fresh air to not feel alone in this. You have achieved the clarity that many will never will; it might be difficult to deal with, since you've been put into this world without a choice but deep down I feel like you know you are right and that it is worth it to not make yourself fit in. You are a talented, simple and kind human being. Cherish that. I literally found you yesterday but it was an instant subscription. Love from Portugal.

Emy you have achieved 142,000 subscribers, these are people who love you. I started watching you when you had less than 60,000. That is NO small accomplishment. You have the thoughts and prayers of all these people. Your talks and especially this message resonates with many of us including me. Praying for your continued spiritual growth because that is where you will be able to defeat these mental obstacles and find inner peace. Best wishes to you and God bless you.

wow, i can relate to this so much, i am like you, a chilled, laid back person, who enjoys simple things in life - good books, being at home, drinking tea. if i could give some encouragement it would be to distance yourself from people who don't accept you and spend more time with people on your wavelength. and remember YOU ARE RIGHT. you have the wisdom to see materialism for what it is - worthless egotism, and you know that it's about what's inside a person, and what is true quality of life - time, peace, freedom, authenticity. there are constantly rich people committing suicide in the news, so that PROVES material success does not make people happy. and i agree - FOCUS is the key, on what you think, and not other people's influence. much love to you xxx

thank you so much for making this video, i needed so bad because while i'm only 14 (and i feel really comfortable telling you my age because i know that you are still gonna take me seriously ) i relate to a lot of things that you say but in a different way because of my age obviously and where i live. I'm in a private school that has very high expectations and aims for really prestigious colleges and universities, but it really does not interest me. My parents pressure me into choosing a safe path like engineering or medicine because i have the potential and the grades, and while i think those are noble pursuits, i'm just not interested at all. I'm much more interested in litterature, veganism, humanist actions and just contibuting in making this world a better place. And i feel so grateful to study where i am now but because i'm a girl and i live in morocco, and i understand that education is hard to achieve here especially for girls, but i feel like my life is slipping through my fingers, because i had to care about things that only adults care about at a young age, like how to be productive, how to achieve goals, wake up early etc. And i sometimes wanna scream because i should be building interests, reading books, spending time with friends, discovering myself but instead i spend my afternoons studying and sleeping because i'm so tired. Everything about opening a business, becoming rich, having a car, a big house just sounds so selfish and shallow to me and that's not the kind of life i want to live. I can't picture myself having a lot of money while there's people who are homeless and don't even have access to food, water and a shelter. And feel so guilty most of the time, because even though i'm definitely not the richest or luckiest person out there, i feel so grateful for everything i have but it kills knowing that somebody else didn't get the same chance as i do and is probably starving, freezing to death as i'm writing this comment. And when you talk about fearing ageing trust me i feel you so much, even at 14, which I definitely consider a young age, i see movies and tv shows about these teenage characters who are probably 15,16 17 at most and already read 400 books in their lives or have these amazing adventures, and i look at me with my boring life that i don't like and i, again, feel like i'm missing out on life and my youth and that i'm going to wake up one day and regret everything, which is a very paradoxal thing because as you said it in the video, i want to live a "boring" life, i'm not interested in having a car, a big mansion, a heavy bank account, i don't want to go to countries so that i can take pictures of monuments of which i don't even know the story or culture behind , i don't wanna learn different languages because it looks good on college applications and resumés. I'm so interested in making this world better and spread awareness and travel to different countries and discover many cultures and read as many books as i can and just make the most out of my life and enjoy the gift that is the beautiful world that we live in with its people and places and oceans and forests, and don't want to rush it. People set up so many goals and they are so quick to achieve them and move on to the other that they don't even take the time to savour the first one. In the end, with the pressures of society we only have probably thirty of forty years to live until we're considered too old, and we have school and we're supposed to achieve this and that and also have amazing adventures as teenagers where you talk about how shitty society is and that youth is so precious and a once in a life experience and in the end i feel lost and i don't know if i should suck it and be "strong" or do what i want to do with the risk of regretting it. I want to live a boring life in which i enjoy the small pleasures of life and at the same time live amazing adventures that shape me and help me grow a better person for this world. And another thing that scares me about ageing is becoming like the adults that surround me, that accepts everything and forget to dream. When i complain to the teachers around me about the amount of homework and tests, they always tell me that i should learn to manage my time and work harder and that life is hard and you can't do anything about it. It's like a nightmare where evrybody around me acts normal while i'm freaking out.If i was passionate about what i was learning, i would give 100% without fliching but with the way school presents everything to me, i feel like education is not about learning new things and becoming better people, not even about who works the hardest, it's about who gives up on their interests the quickest, destroys their mental health and sleep schedule, and learns to shut up and accept without complaining to work behind a desk their whole life or achieve a job that brings in a lot of money because that's what capitalism has engrained is us Anyway, sorry for the long comment , i rambled a lot , and got lost in my thought a little and iprobably completely missed the point of the video but l really hope you will read it and thank you so much for doing this video because i thought that i was just being an angsty teenager and that i will mature and probably realise that i was wrong but now i see that there's even you that i admire so much feel the same way as i do

Update 12-02-2017 I am watching it again for the 3° time.. I feel every word you say.. we really have similar experiences and may be mine is more hard.. but i am afraid to say those things online. -- Oh.. i am shocked.. This is kind of you... i will make English/Italian videos very soon about about non-representative Literature like Moroccan/ Algerian..etc Happy birthday to You i'm also 26 years old. Thank You so much for sharing this video. It's means a lot to me. I should make a response :D

I am so happy that you used "Zikoniss Books" as my internet name in your description box. I still love this video. Thank you so much for your support.

I really relate to those pressures of productivity and success. I’m only 19 but I feel as if I have to make something of myself. I have a personal anecdote about my experiences last year where I was depressed and was having a hard time trying to create things. At the time, I felt as if I was accomplishing things for the sake of validation. For example, my brother was trying to motivate me to be productive and said he’d buy me tickets to fly to South Korea and see my favorite boyband, BTS only if I manage to make 5 short films. At the time, I agreed because I’d do anything to see BTS right? Wrong. Depression hit me in the face and I felt so much weight on my shoulders. I didn’t want to disappoint my brother and I was trying so hard to come up with ideas for my films but I couldn’t come up with good ones. I was so frustrated with myself that I was feeling uninspired and unmotivated. Because why on earth am i not doing the thing i should be doing because i actually liked doing the thing. But now I don’t feel like doing the thing? I took a step back and I decided that I was not going to force myself to film 5 short films even if that meant not seeing BTS in concert. I had to do things for myself at my own pace. Feeling pressure or being competitive for success just wasn’t my thing. I hated it. So right now, I’m doing things at my own pace and learned to not be so hard on myself. As of now, I just completed making my first short film. I felt so overwhelmed with my emotions when i showed it to my family, because I didn’t know I had it in me. I was in such a dark point in my life and i managed to make something I actually like. I took small baby steps to get to somewhere I wanted to be rather than looking towards other people to tell me what I should do.

Hey, Antastesia. I first have to thank you lots because I've been motivated to become vegan by your vlogging and have been inspired by your glow and fire in more ways than I can count. Whats more, I can totally understand why you feel the way you feel. I'm 23 now and I found the best way to think about aging is just constantly remember the beautiful adventures that come at all ages( ways to derive purpose, no matter how small they seem from someone's else's perspective ) . As you mentioned with the active members in stories; think of the stories wherein the actions of some of the youths of those stories where inspired or motivated by some of the older members: Mr. Miyagi ( Karate Kid ), Lionel Logue ( The King's Speech ) or even Yoda ( Star Wars ). I'm not sure how familiar you are with any of those. Nevertheless, I just would love to see you continue to be that passionate, loving and self driven woman that I know is in there. I don't like to ramble on but I'd love to leave with this - which I'm sure you know; When struggling with finding meaning in life, I personally find it really invigorating to always remember to appreciate even the smallest things that make you happy; the things that make your body move from point A to point B; and the things that you do for other people that will - by definite laws of physics and reality carry on to many other beings and regions of the universe, regardless to who notices. I love you and wish you the best in your adventures to come.

really thankful for this video, honestly it made me realise that i really need to just chill and not let the pressure from society stop me from valuing the things i do in life, regardless of how "exciting" or valuable they may seem to others. even though I'm younger than you i really relate to feeling this way, you're definitely not alone. and just like somebody else said in the comments, i honestly appreciate you so much and would love to have a friend like you. your thoughts always give me perspective and help me see things in a different light, it´s really interesting and fulfilling and you should totally start taking your own advice and frickin ditch the feeling of not living up to the expectations society pushes on us. at least that's what I'm going to try to do, thanks to you!

I'm so happy I found your channel. I connect to nearly everything you say and you have such a beautiful way of talking about it. I think a lot of people feel like this, especially in the US. You're fantastic, I love the simple, honest and profound way you make your videos, it helps me more than you know

Thank you for this video !

I resonated with all of this so much!!! Sometimes thoughts like this make me go crazy. I appreciate this so much and I appreciate you so much :)

My feelings and thoughts exactly (even though my life situation differs from yours quite a bit). I must thank you for voicing them in such a descriptive and accurate way! Feels amazing to know I/ we are not alone with our troubles and aches and there is a lot of power in sharing that. You are one of my favourite RU-vidrs, one of the few I've managed to follow for several years and I just love the content you put out. Keep doing what you do, please. You do it well and it has a lot of value, at least for me.

I feel you Emi. I often disagree with your opinions, but right now, after watching this video, I feel so touched. I want to hug you

you give me so much hope. thank you

Thank you for making this video, it was really helpful for me as well I feel exactly in the same way as you, that the exuberance and the excitement of youth has left me even though I’m only 25, this made me feel so much better, thank you again

1. try to live more in the present moment, not comparing with the best moments you had in the past and the dream of future you may have, if kids do have energy and joy of live that's because they are naturally gifted for this. Enjoy now and every step of your process to whatever goal you could have. 2. try to not give too much attention on other people expectations and try not to compare with them. If you're happy your way that's it. Maybe others don't spend their time judging you. Don't lose time comparing with people trying to show a better image of their lives that what it really is. 3. try not to be hard with yourself, focus on your gifts and be gratefull for these, have fun working on your weaknesses also. If you get kind with you others will feel it and feel more confident, by tinking this lady is ok with her weaknesses so she will also be ok with ours. People will feel this intuitively and get more comfortable with you. 4. when someting is revolting to you, try not to fall into anger, it's bad for you, drains your energy and positivity and won't convince anyone that is not already convinced.

This is why I love RU-vid. Thank you so much for sharing this. I know it’s not traditional or accepted to feel this way, we all feel the constant pressure and stress and weight of this “go go go” mentality. I ,too, deeply reject this facade of a mold that’s been given to us and I deeply appreciate and admire you for sharing this. We are the same age, and I feel you Emy. So much love. Leslie

Thanks for uploading this. I've been depressed today and this has helped me feel better.

Do you have friends that are much older than you? I mean real friends, not acquaintances, relatives or colleagues etc.I used to feel just like you, but I realized it was because I was among the oldest (over 30) at university where everyone around me was in their 20's. It made me compare myself with the younger version of myself every day..it was exhausting. Then I found some older friends (the closest one being 50 years old) that became my rolemodels, women like myself who has made the decision to not have kids and are joyful and vibrant, showing me that growing older is not "death", that life is what you make of it. Also buddhism and the art of "letting go" has helped a lot.

I can’t tell you how much this resonates with me. It’s something that I feel people are scared to be honest about. I’ll probably rewatch this multiple times again. Thank you

This capitalist governmentality shoves us towards a citizen-product identity, as you say your merit of happiness and legitimacy emerge from the facade amount of valued work and financial results. But who does that serve? I definitely feel hopeless sometimes when realising the burden of wanting such different things for my life lays completely on my shoulders. I feel very guilty as to my financial dependance on my parents, although I'm still young. But I plan to do my best and keep a strong relationship with them. I also intend on taking care of them when older (which I reckon is not that common in Western societies nowadays?). Last, I interpret the anxiety of fleeing moments and ageing as a deep and physical concern for death to come. Or at least for something as inevitable, as unknown, as omniscient as death and time. Being really anxious about that myself, I nonetheless believe in engaging in a process of accepting, if not overcoming, death. It's okay to be powerless. It's ok. Still an existentialist I hold dear in my cells this idea of potentially anxiogenic fatality being an equally potential bud of new, displaced empowerment. Like gender inequality, racism, etc. imposed a fatality from which blossomed activism. In a more practicle way, I'm trying to do what I love, and I'm taking a class entitled " psychology of death and dying". Most importantly I try to let in some peace. Actually last, I want to send some heart-felt support regarding your constant situation of being insulted, agressively pointed at, etc, on the Internet. I saw some comments you shared on social media and am outraged; this is so unfair, unacceptable. I wish I could do something.

I watch this over and over... You totally nailed it and found the right words I was searching for.

I really appreciate this video.

thank you so much, this video did so much for me. pushed me to becoming a patron too(-:

This is so in tune with how I am feeling. I have no formal education but I am working at a job I enjoy. It just doesn't feel valuable. It is irritating that we have been conditioned to feel this way. It is such a struggle to become financially stable and to gain a feeling of true contentment in this society.

So many people can relate to this. I remember crying so hard in silence when i just made 17 because birthdays have always been a reminder that I should have achieved more. But I'm 21 now and I've learned that comparing your success to others just makes you devalue your own success.. so instead of comparing yourself to others, it helps when you just remember the little things you have achieved and realize you're not worthless at all.

I wanted so much during this video to be there and to give you a hug! Because I understand how you feel, about ageing, about accomplishments, success and happiness ... I will never stop saying that under your videos, you're a wonderful person, thank you for sharing and - I know it's easy to say, but - always do what makes you smile! :-)

We just have to feel good about who we are at the present moment, enjoying our life as it is. We don't HAVE to be what society says we should be, just do what makes us happy and content with our way of living. Everyone now is "selling out" their lives. We should not fit into specific molds, don't let these thoughts dictate your feelings. You can do it! Of course money in our society are praised and are unfortunately important. But constantly evolving oneself, which seems what you are doing, for me it means you have achieved great things in your life. The things you have done, traveling,reading books, studying, having this youtube channel etc, most people in our age haven't either because they are not interested or because they can't. Some people, if not most of them, are content with a life of a business person, or one that depends a lot on money and social status. Others just walk through life as if the only thing they can do is grow up/old working and then retire and continue a simple life. Ones' age doesn't mean anything unless he/she believes so. I wouldn't want to be back to my teenage years because who I am right now and the experiences I went through made who I am today, of which I'm really happy about and proud of. But I also want to continue that journey, not focusing on the fact of aging rather than on the fact of learning and helping other with that knowledge. You are a wonderful person who has achieved many thing and this is only the beginning, do what you want to do just because it makes you happy! Take care!

Merci beaucoup! I feel the same way. Still figuring all of this out and thanks for putting this out there.

I am not far in age from you, and I always love your videos. I feel like you're putting feelings into words in a way that I cannot. For what its worth I would 100% buy a book you wrote!

I can really relate to this subject Emy. When I was in my early twenties (20-23) I used to feel terrible pressure about what I should become in life, what career I should embrace... and more and more depressed because my expectations were so much bigger than my experiences. Also I compared myself a lot with other people. Then around 23 it changed, mainly because I moved abroad and started a new life there. I felt less threatened by the passing of time because I was at last living something I truly wanted. Also because I met some wonderful people most of them older than myself who were enjoying themselves and had great plans for their futures. I suddenly realized I had a lot of time ahead to do what I wanted to do, and I should enjoy each day for the present. Now I am 24 and I feel so much better. I love the jobs I took on, even though they are not ambitious. And I am confident I will be able to do the things I love, art, yoga, writing... anyway Emy I think you are a great smart person and so young still. I recommend you a song that helped me a lot when I was so anxious, it is Any Road by George Harrison. The message is: if you don t know where you re going, any road will take you there :-)

Thank you for this video

I feel you because I am also going through this "quarter life crisis" at the moment, and I think a lot of what I want my life to be as I think differently than the majority of people. I want to tell you that you are very important just by the fact of being who you are. I admire your freedom, your sincerity and your generosity, these are the best "achievements" one being can build in my opinion. Remember that you are not what you produce, you are a lot more that that. Concerning the fear of aging, I used to feel like you, very worried about the years passing by without being able to control it (and even more anxious about the idea of death). This anxiety was so overwhelming that I had to work on myself in order to continue to live, because I didn't want to refuse this much a natural process, it was like I resisted life itself. So after 8 years of therapy, I started daily meditation 3 years ago, and this is probably what helped me the most to cope with life, the passing of time, my differences, etc. This practice helps me to accept what I can't control, so it prevents me from making myself feel bad and lose energy on what I can't change anyway. Of course there are still moments when I feel depressed, scared about the absurdity of life, but they last shorter because when you learn to observe your thoughts, you can better decide if they are useful or not to you, and if not, let it go. We have the power to think differently with a regular training, in order to stay hopeful. Spirituality also helps me to believe that if we are in this world, it is for a reason, no matter how different we feel from the majority. We were meant to exist, so it gives us the legitimity to be unapologetically ourselves. I also realized that I was conditioned to think that youth was the best part of life, because this is what society tells us all the time. Magazines show only young models, as if older people were ugly, everywhere there are ads to encourage you to look younger thanks to a cream, as if wrinkles were horrible... This is very alienating, especially for women that have to stay beautiful no matter what according to societal standards. Instead of seeing the "negative" parts of aging, like the fact that we become more vulnerable physically, we can choose to see the positive things : the fact that we are more experienced as we grow older, that we feel freer to express ourselves, and wiser. I recommend you to see the documentary "Advanced style", which shows old ladies explain how getting older helped them be more comfortable with themselves. I also plan to read "Eloge de la vieillesse" by Hermann Hesse. With this change of point of view, now I kinda like growing old, and it is very liberating! Even provocative in a society obsessed with youth. I hope what I say can helps. And again, you are already a very cool human being, don't pressure yourself and keep doing what you love!

Hello Emy. I want to let you know that you are not alone in your struggle. Actually, hearing someone talking out loud about the same feelings of anxiety and depression kind of soothes the wound. Your own and your relatable audiance. I think that you are a fighter and a good representative of our "lost generation" in a good way. You give us an example in order to keep on resisting against the philosophy of competition. I send you my love and support. xx

Très bon anniversaire !!! J'ai 43 anset toujours refusé ces pressions et normes de la société. On passe un peu pour des extra-terrestres mais on savoure la vie et celle-ci réserve de si belles surprises si on le la planifie pas, ou pas trop. Tu as une belle philosophie 😚😚😚

Completely agree with you ! We dont have to conform on what society want- success is relative and depend on your personal values !

I absolutely LOVE this video. I hear you, sister !!!!! Wish you were in my life as a friend. You are such a great person. Love you

Emy this speaks to me on a very personal level. Like you said, I think the small things in life are what really counts. Also, I once read a quote on tumblr that struck a chord with me. It kind of changed my outlook on this subject. Hope you find it helpful. //It's messing people up, this social pressure to "find your passion" and "know what it is you want to do". It's perfectly fine to live your moments fully, and marvel as many small and large passions, many small and large purposes enter and leave your life. For many people there is no realization, no bliss to follow, no discovery of your life's purpose. This isn't sad, it's just the way things are. Stop trying to find the forest and just enjoy the trees.// -Sally Coulteur

Hi Emy :) I've been watching your videos so much lately because they've been giving me so much inspiration. I love your train of thought and intricate way that you approach life and the sadness that you feel. I've been depressed since I was 12, and I'm 23 now so sometimes it's hard to seperate what's me from the sadness, and I understand the aging thing. It has caused me anxiety at least since I was 14. I never feel like what I do is enough unless I focus reeeeally hard on it. I'm following my dreams, living and studying in France, traveling Europe, and finding my way in life, but when I compare myself to others, I never feel like it's enough or that it's worthy . I love to listen to you and your take on things because I find that I am similar... life isn't always about the big moments or the things that you can put on a resume or make a video about. It's about the small things, the way you feel, the passing feelings you get as you move throughout the world, even just waking up in the morning and taking a moment to do something you enjoy. I think the way that you speak is really beautiful, thank you for sharing :)

Hey Emy, happy belated birthday! I feel the same way about aging and I'm the same age as you. I'm sorry you struggle with it so much, but for me it is almost comforting to know that I am not alone in this. I hope this doesn't sound cruel or that I'm enjoying the thought that someone else is also struggling. I have always felt that I was much more anxious about aging - to the point of thinking about it every single day - than everyone I know. Actually, I have found your channel a couple of years back through a video where you discussed how you feel about birthdays and every single thing you said I felt like I could have said it myself. I wanted to share with you a couple of ways that I try to shield myself from these negative feelings. Whenever I feel a wave of anxiety related to my age coming on, I try to think how young I am compared to my age in e.g. 10 years. I remember how 'old' turning 20 years old seemed to me back then and how young being 20 sounds to me now. Also, I think that we as women are conditioned to fear aging more than men do. When I'm getting anxious/depressed about it again, I think of this and it helps me feel more relaxed about growing older and the prospect of one day being a 30 or 40 year old woman. I think the fear of growing older as a woman is engraved in us on a very subconscious level, so it is difficult to rationalise it away. By that I mean that women and men of e.g. 40 years of age are perceived in different ways in regards to their status in society, future prospects, power, potential to develop, and the most obvious and vain thing - the looks. And for this reason I try to tell myself that more women must acknowledge this conditioning and rebel against it, starting with myself. Making this a feminist issue - at least from my perspective - I feel more motivated to drag myself out of this feeling and it actually feels like a personal goal I am working towards. And the last thing that always helps me, especially around the time of my own birthday, is that now each passing year of my life marks another year that I have lived a vegan life and have maybe inspired others to do so, too. I think of the little ways in which I have maybe contributed to the vegan cause - the countless vegan products I have bought and thus supported vegan companies, the conversations I had with people about veganism, etc. Thinking that the time period in which I have not been supporting cruelty is becoming longer every year makes me almost feel glad that time is passing by. Almost :) I really hope this helps, even if it just lets you know that you truly are not the only one who feels this way! Sending you lots of positive energy

Hi, I just want to thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I can definitely see myself in some of the things you said, being mid 20 myself. Also I really appreciate the subtitles on your french spoken videos since I am trying to pick up my french again. Merci beaucoup!

Happy 26th birthday. I could be completely off in my understanding of what you're saying, but it sounds as if you don't want to be a clog, stuck in the never ending machine. Some people will state that no one wants to be a machine clog, yet almost everyone ends up being a clog, working for the machine. And it's beautifully advertised to us on a daily basis, to be part of the machine. Without ever telling us...it's a machine. It floods our minds with ideas of wanting grand homes, prestigious vehicles, fashionable clothing, magical make-up, glistening jewelry, next gen of future devices, and much more. But, it all comes at an enormous cost. The most precious thing of all. Your time. No person lying on their death bed, has ever said, _I wished I would have worked more._ I'm 46, and I've had my share of jobs and experiences to recognize the never ending appetite of the machine that stamps a product number on you for identification and works you until your gears become worn, and eventually break. In which you're replaced with a new clog. We've been indoctrinated too believe that we must be a productive clog in order to fit into the manufactured rules that been established by the machine itself.

Okay donc je crois que ce sont pile les paroles que j'vais besoin d'entendre. Merci INFINIMENT ça fait tellement de bien

fate is strange, my two favorite youtubers (you and nathan zed) just posted videos about young success. love you and this video! it’s so helpful knowing someone else feels the same way about the pressure to do well or “make it” at a young age :)

I hope things are looking up or that you’re just in a better mindset. I can relate to many things you’ve mentioned but what I like to think about when I feel overwhelmed or sad about life (and maybe it’ll help you in some ways too) is, life is about the journey. There isn’t a place we should be or need to be in this moment other than where we are in our own lives right now. Instead of thinking about the next move or step I like to be in the present and enjoy where I am now. Try and see the positive and go from there. I can’t say much about being lonely but I hope you can find some more time or good people to be less lonely. It’s definitely frustrating not feeling rewarded from your jobs. I started RU-vid a little bit ago and I can understand how you feel. Creating videos for the RU-vid takes a lot of time. I’ve been watching your channel for a very long time but I don’t comment a lot. I know you get a lot of comments from other viewers but I’m making more of an effort to leave comments on the videos I watch. I now know how it’s rewarding to see people interact and have a conversation with you. Anyway, apologies for the long comment and I really enjoy your channel!

I just turned 25 and I feel the same way... I think social medias make us compare to others too much and the internet in general makes us used to getting instant rewards for pretty much anything, so we become quickly frustrated if something takes too long. However I can't help but thinking about people who are younger than me, come from a similar or even more difficult background and still have more success in the field I'm pursuing. And like you said, the younger you make it the more people will help you develop and grow bigger. I work hard every single day doing a job I love, but most of the time I keep thinking I'm not doing what I should do. I'm spending time and energy on something else just to feel productive. I mean it's like lifting weights with your arms at the gym when you actually want to develop your leg muscles. You're in the right spot, working hard, but not doing what you're meant to do. I feel like I'm waiting for an opportunity that I know deep down has to be initiated by me and no one else.

Happy birthday Emy, hope your life is filled with tranquility and happiness Greetings from Yemen

I agree and feel so much of this, thank you for making this video.

I can relate to what you’re saying about aging, but as someone who lives in Scandinavia the fact that you have 2 master’s degrees + get help from your parents and still struggle financially is completely baffling to me. Could you please explain more about the situation in Paris? What’s going on?

Te amo con todo mi ser!!! Gracias por transmitir tu honestidad.

making peace with the fact that there is no purpose or meaning to life has liberated me, in a way. It might sound sad and depressing at first, but it's such a beautiful thing. It liberates you from society and all its idiotic standards. You probably have read it, but i would recommend Cioran. All my love, Rebeca from Mexico.

There was a thought I had when watching this video that I just wanted to share with you. I too struggle with the idea of getting older and am constantly comparing myself to others my age, beating myself up for not having accomplished as much as they have. What's funny to me is that you and I are about the same age; yet the fact that you have two masters degrees, a job that you enjoy, and that you impact so many people through your videos has honestly made me feel like "wow, I'm so behind in life". And there are probably some others out there who could look at my life and think the same thing. It just puts things into perspective. Although seemingly obvious but difficult to truly put into practice, the best advice is to always stay true to yourself. That's all that really matters in life. Don't let expectations of people or society make you miserable.

I am glad I am not alone on this feeling. Life is hard and it’s even harder when you see all the great things people are achieving (usually posted on social media). It sucks. I too get depressed by that but I think that we all should focus on our individual selves and not compare to others...even though I currently fail at that. And like you said appreciate the small things. All the very best Emy.

I am going through very similar experiences. It feels like each year that passes intensifies my anxiety around ageing and the pressure of “doing something with my life”. You mentioned this in your video, but I think it is really helpful to take a step back think about what you truly want to get out of this life. And also reminding ourselves that definitions of success are unique to the individual. To overcome my personal anxiety I try to remind myself that my life will likely be longer than I give it credit. Common themes in society are how life is short and you need to seize the day. Those concepts are well-intentioned, but I think combined with this glorification of youth, people internalise those sayings and we think our lives are essentially going to be over once we’re no longer considered young by media standards. This video was very relatable and helped me find words for my own struggles. Thank you and best of luck with everything.

Thank you very much for this video! I also feel that way sometimes, the thing which helps me sometime is knowing that I'm not alone - now many people feel that pressure, almost all of my best friends and people who inspires me. It doesn't help anytime though:( I'm 21 now and feel that there are so many things that I could have done or that I can do in the future, but I have no time for all of it - and here's the problem of a choice - when you're getting older - you have to choose your path, dedicated yourself to a certain things which will affect all of your life - the problem is that you're always think about it and cannot live "Here and now". I have a sort of "motto" in my diary which I open when I find myself thinking that "I haven't achieved something, I haven't visited these countries, ect." it's the phrase from latin "CARPE DIEM" - enjoy the moment here and now - that helps to realise who you are and what you want.

I wish I could help, but it is a thing that only a talk, a real talk, presential, could take away your doubts. I think you are still very young, 26 years old, to feel that way you talk about, but I also think that this will come your way a little bit in the future. I'm only 29 too, and I think I can understand you well. One advice, which I know that it will be difficult to accept, is just to let go. Let go of the ilusion of control, aging, money, and all that. Aceept who you are and know that "who you are" will also definitly change. Being alone is "bad" but it is very common between "smart people" and you will proprabily seek (even though not all the time) to be alone in your life. But know that, nothing in your life or anyone else's, for that matter, is set. You can change things, even though that's the biggest ilusion of control of all. That's that, I guess. Good day and happy birthday!

This is just so real and true and usual and.. Merci

Joyeux anniversaire !!! I feel almost the same, I'm 17 and it's been like 3 year, but I think that if you keep focusing on the little brigth things; it will get better. And yes, sometimes you're just drown back to what you thought was over but we will live our lives the fullest. We just have a different perception on what it means. ❤ (love your channel btw)

i really like watching your video

Ciao Emy, joyeux anniversaire! as a college student in the states I really feel this expectation for me to be successful. And I also think there is a certain beauty in simply existing, and being independent. but sometimes societal pressures can force one to do things outside of their comfort zone. I feel like it's important to find a balance between the two, and to create your own criteria for success :)

Fear of getting older and being content with that has been a constant stuggle for me. I love your videos I always connect with the topics you cover as if you post with divine timing with my life. You inspire me in your intellect and its truly a joy to here your perspectives

Thank you for this video. For me this is one of the best videos from you I have seen. Maybe because I feel so similar :) This morning I woke up crying, because it has been a few months that I feel like my past self and good things from past are so faraway, like it even wasn't me who experiences it all. I feel like I cannot continue in this life-style anymore, to meet all requirements of adult life and of this system. The only think I want is to be free, to read as many books as I want (and which I want!), to walk and walk, to try new food, to see new places, people, countries, nature, just walking and observing and enjoying life this way. But I have to pay the rent/insurance/food etc. I have to be adult. EDIT: Until two years ago, I was also thinking that I have to achieve something, that I have to be successful in things I do. Now I see that it wasn't me who wanted this, but something what society imposed into me. Now the only thing I want to achieve is to be satisfied with myself and my life. To live meaningful life and to set the goals that make sense to me.

That's a really interesting subject Emy! and I understand you. It's really annoying when I think of all the thing I got do in order to have a " good and happy " life.. and most of these things are things that stresses me out. I like to spend time doing things that I love. I'm gonna turn 18 soon and it's really annoying having to think about the future. Happy Birthday to you :)

I feel a lot of the same things as you mentioned on this video! I've never been able to express it tho so it's nice to hear it from someone else!

sometimes it feels weird to see that all the meaningless things that i've done and all the people i met are now part of my "history"

hi, honestly, same. i don't know how to say this but the things I want in life is pretty much exactly what you've mentioned... to live simply and happily and spiritually... to be honest and open with people, to see the little things in big places... and to create! but then I find myself going the opposite direction and getting lost in the current, on April I'll be having my public exams for uni, which is both exciting and scary, because I never really did know how I can get to living that life/ who I'll end up being.. I guess what I really wanted to say is thank you for being so honest about your feelings, who knows, maybe I'll end up where you are 8 years later when I'm 26 - and maybe it isn't such a bad thing too, I would rather be scared of than sold on the "success game". happy birthday. you are worthy.

I think feeling successful or not it's just about how you see your situation, my life is similar to how you described yours and I feel very successful I'm also a teacher I don't have and I don't wanna have a house, a car and kids, I see other people my age getting houses and having kids but it doesn't make me feel bad cause that's not what I want for me, I'm happy that I found what I love in life, I love being a teacher, learning languages and traveling! Don't let society's idea of success make you feel like your achievements mean less than other people's.

Happy Birthday! You are not alone. Many feel the same way. I did well in school, served honorably in the military, earned three 2 year degrees and two 4 year degrees. After 25 years of working, I am still making it month to month, financially. I have not figured out the answer but doing what others expect is not the answer either. Do what you want. Maybe you are trying to do too many things. Do what makes you happy. I don't know what to say about aging. Though I am twice your age, I feel young but I do realize I am not as young as I was. Perhaps it is part of your feeling that you have not done what society says you should and since society celebrates and values youth, you fee that it has passed you by. I hope you find happiness.

I love your videos because I feel so identified with you. And you make me. happy because I don't feel that I'm the only one who feels like that. Greetings from Taiwan.

❤❤❤ Je me retrouve dans ce que tu dis, et je pense que beaucoup d'autres également : l'impression d'être pris dans un étau avec d'un côté l'épuisement de devoir être toujours le plus ceci ou le plus cela, de devoir faire un milliard de choses de ses journées pour pouvoir prétendre être intéressant, et même, pour avoir tout simplement le droit d'exister sans s'excuser, l'angoisse aussi à douter constamment, à trouver le monde trop violent partout et tout le temps, à voir le temps qui défile comme des impératifs, à trouver dans les discours toutes les preuves de sa nullité, et l'étouffement de savoir que notre société considère globalement cette inertie comme de l'inutilité, voire de la lâcheté, de la faiblesse, de l'immaturité ; et de l'autre la culpabilité de ressentir tout cela parce que l'on nous rabâche - et que l'on finit un peu par le croire aussi - que l'on a tout pour être heureux, que l'on est quand même privilégiés sur beaucoup de points, et que c'est quand même un truc de bobo indécent de se gâcher de la sorte et de se plaindre quand on ne sait pas ce que c'est que peiner dans la vie. Peut-être que tu aimerais l'essai de Tristan Garcia intitulé "La vie intense : une obsession moderne", qui parle justement des pièges de cette injonction moderne à vivre sa vie le plus intensément possible. =)

I'm going to be 23 this year and I feel quite the same thing than you. When I see teenagers (high school), I think the time spend so fast. Also I realize that some of them have done more things than me. Really, the worst thing is when I begin comparing my life with other's one. This could be a good thing to motivate myself but often, we just have an inferiority complexe. I am so sad that I choose to forget and finally do anything at all. People are right when they say it's important to have goals in life but this pressure of society to "have a big dream / find THE career" is really stressful, especially when it comes to choose studies whereas you spent all your life not worrying of your future. Even if I don't know only through your videos, I think you're very inspiring and you have you're own sensitivity. You remind us the simple things that make us happy.

J'ai eu 27 ans en janvier, je comprends tellement... L'impression de ne même pas être une "femme" encore moins "accomplie", comme si c'était absolument supposé être le cas, d'ailleurs. J'ai l'impression d'avoir eu 17 ans hier alors que dans 3 ans j'en ai 30. C'est... fou.

Happy late birthday! I used to felt this way all the time before starting studying Literary Creation. I still do some times. Actually, maybe at least half of time... But what truly has helped has been my studies on Occultism, let's you appreciate how absurd such feelings are in the grate scheme of things, not even from a religious point of view, but a symbolic and narrative one. I try to remember that whenever I feel weird about life.

In sharing your thoughts, you make me feel so much less alone

La felicidad no suele ser un estado de completa tranquilidad, es más que todo ello. Un completo oceano de incertidumbre, donde se encuentran emociones que realmente te hacen sentir vivo y entre todo eso, esta la vida. No en el exito ni desarrollo material, eso no trasciende, estamos hechos de historias minimas. Eso es lo unico que llevamos pegado al alma. Muy bacano tu video, un saludo desde Colombia.

I started feeling exactly the same when I turned 18 less than a year ago, thank you for sharing your experiences, it's comforting to know that other people also feel this way

Thank you so much for this video, Emy! Although I have achieved in some “conventional” ways, I prefer a simpler, quieter way of living. Ever since I can remember, I have been struggling with the notion that I should be LOUD, BUSY, and SOCIAL, when being those ways usually leaves me exhausted and unfulfilled. It’s good to hear from others who are not accepting that one narrative as success.

it is understandable to feel this way when you experience change. The realisation that you are no longer part of the youth and a different generation has come up behind you and taken that place.That cycle will continue over and over. It's also the start of when lives diverge after the years in education, and the consequences of people's choices start to manifest themselves - in careers and other aspects of life. This falls much harder on men as they are 'objectified' economically in a way that women will never experience. It seems strange to me however that you fear this and question 'society's expectations'. Wanting to be a university teacher seems a very traditional, safe - and even a 'conservative' aim in life, despite your trying to present yourself as leading an alternative lifestyle.

I think that you know very well what kind of person you want to be and where you stand in the society as an individual. You are very inspiring in terms of recognizing social norms and living upon your own values. I am not sure where this fear of aging comes from (I am myself starting to feel it even tough I just turned 18) but I think that it is one of those feelings that we shouldn't spend too much time worrying about. Just stay true to the things in life that make you happy because striving for someone else's dream ( the so called "success") won't fulfill you.

Je suis tellement en accord avec ta vision du bonheur ! J'aimerais tellement que plus de gens pensent comme ça, ou au moins comprennent qu'une carrière, une famille, une voiture et une grande maison n'est absolument pas le rêve de tout le monde.. Quand tu aimes les choses simples et que tu place tes valeurs avant ta "réussite" sociale, les gens on tendance à voir ta vie comme inutile.. Je crois en fait qu'aimer les choses simples et avoir pour seul souhait d'apporter de l'aide, de l'amour et de la bienveillance aux autres, c'est qqchose que tu peux faire tout au long de ta vie, vieillir ça veut surtout dire grandir, apprendre plus et donc transmettre plus ! Je te rassure ça me fait peur aussi, mais je me dis que la capacité à s'émerveiller des choses simples ne peux pas t'être enlevé avec le temps, cet amour pour ce qui m'entoure je le conserverais toute ma vie et je pense que c'est pareil pour toi.. désolée c'est un peu bateau mais c'est juste ce que m'évoque ta vidéo, j'espère que ça peut t'aider. En tout cas j'apprécierai tout autant t'écouter parler des tes pensées, de tes craintes et de ce que tu aimes ou que tu défends même dans 40 ans, quand on sera toutes les deux plus vieilles

Hi Emy I’ve been watching your videos for quite sometime now, I always love the ones about literature. But this one, even though it was published on February and I’m watching it on March, had the perfect timing for me. I’m going throw a similar situation, I’m 24, unemployed, studying a master in corporate law. And I’m studying that because it’s more ‘productive’ in terms of money. But I feel I’m lying to myself. I’ll like to be financially independent from my parents and to start supporting them but that implies getting into the rat race that is working life. I feel like I’m split between the ideas of productivity, money, success on one side and beauty, nature and justice on the other one. And your video didn’t gave me any answers on my dilema hahaha but knowing that are people going throw similar things helps on being resilient and endure modern day society. Maybe this feeling is the zeitgeist of our time. Thank you for saying what I needed to hear. Btw I totally comprehend your feeling with published youtubers, I’ve had the disgrace of wasting my time reading a book from one. Greetings from Mexico 🇲🇽✌🏻

Je ressens complètement la même chose que Toi, comme si on n'en faisait jamais assez, que c'était un but en soi que d'avoir un post hautement rémunéré et une forte reconnaissance au niveau de la société. Merci pour ta vidéo qui m'inspire beaucoup

I feel this way too! I struggle with jealousy as well so when I see my friends moving on with their lives it makes me feel really anxious and depressed. I just try to remember what I value more in life and try to focus on that.

Courage Emy. J'ai un peu la même sensation que toi par rapport à l'accomplissement dans la vie. J'aurai 27 en mai, et je n'ai pas encore travaillé. J'ai fait des études à droite et à gauche qui ne m'ont servit à rien car je n'ai pas eu les diplômes au bout. Je suis actuellement en 3e année de naturopathie, j'ai enfin trouvé ma voie, et j'ai hâte de commencer à travailler. Je donne aussi des cours d'anglais depuis un mois et ça me fait du bien, je me sens utile et j'ai un peu de revenus. Personne dans ma vie, deuis longtemps. Et youtube, bientôt 6 ans et même pas 3000 abonnés. Bon j'ai lâché prise là-dessus, car j'ai conscience que mon contenu n'est pas forcément le plus intéressant. Je vais me mettre à parler de sujets de plus en plus, ça me fait envie. Prendre de l'âge pour moi n'est pas un problème car vu ma taille et mon apparence, on me prend pour une enfant et on va dire que prendre des années contre-balance ça. Même si nos ressentis sont un peu différents j'espère que mon partage t'aura aidé à te sentir un peu moins seule dans cette expérience. Gros bisous

J'ai toujours eu de problème de vouloir être toujours plus productive, m'améliorer constamment, depuis que je suis très jeune. Je pense que c'est en grande partie lié à mon milieu social. Mais je me rends compte de plus en plus que je ne sais pas vraiment pourquoi je fais tout ça. J'ai toujours voulu plus ou moins être avocate pour "défendre la veuve et l'orphelin" comme on dit, mais mes profs et ma famille m'encouragent à la vue de mes résultats à me tourner vers le droit des affaires (qui évidemment permet de gagner pas mal d'argent et de pouvoir). C'est dur de prendre du recul et mettre son ambition de côté pour se demander ce que l'on veut vraiment faire.

Are humans individuals not adapted to the system or is it the system that is not adapted to humans? Do some people benefit from making you think you should be like this or that? Do you really need to be as you're expected to be if it isn't what you feel like to be? Do you think you are alone in this case? Is it good for system to let people think they are alone in these feelings?

Merci beaucoup 😍❤

Hi! I love your channel and I’m Sorry you feel that way, I wish I could Help you! I do sometimes feel this way, I also want to write a book since I was little, I just turned 20 and I can’t believe I haven’t still done it but I think you Don’t need to feel that stress, you are still young you will do everything you want, Don’t rush and stress. There are better years and some worse. You just have to think positively and things will start going better, my 17 were the worse time of my life not for anything in particular just because of my way of thinking, and 19 were the Best, i was Positive and I met my Best friend, i also met an amazing boy who I love a lot right now and the most important thing try to Be happy How you are, I love you! Be real and unique, some days is difficult but Keep on! Happy birthday!!!

You'll appreciate the wisdom that will come from getting older. you think you know a lot more at 26 than you did when you were 16... when you're 36 you'll think you know a lot more than at 26 and so on... You'll enjoy the process of mentally and emotionally maturing with age.