I dont wear lolita but I do wear 50s fashion and the people just grabbing your skirt and look under it to see your petticoat are real. It has happened a bunch of times and I still can't get over how some people think it's okay to touch you and basically undress you in public just because you are dressed differently
"How do you wear this without being embarrassed? I could never!" It's (almost) always from people who wear sweatpants in public. I always want to say, "I'd be embarrassed to wear what you're wearing", but I stuff that down inside and put on a polite face. My comeback is usually something along the lines of, "What other people think of you is none of your concern." And that goes both ways.
I don’t always wear Lolita but I wore a strawberry cardigan to go strawberry picking and a couple was making fun of me. So I look over and they’re dressed in pajamas.😭 I’m like oh okay sure make fun of me.😭
Being asked if you're cosplaying when you're in lolita is pretty much expected I think, esp at a con, but one time I was wearing an ap op at a con and a staff member at reg said they recognized my cosplay but didn't remember the character. I explained that it was alt fashion not cosplay, and they? Didn't believe me?? They kept saying no it's definitely a character and just kept guessing what series it was from. I just finished getting my badge and left lol. My bad random staff member, you definitely know what I'm wearing better than I do
They probably saw a character in a similar cord but still definitely rude as a person's actual outfit can look like a character by mistake. Like how is that a concept that person couldn't get?
Luckily, most of the questions I get in lolita aren't too annoying - it's mostly elderly ladies asking if I'm going anywhere nice and complimenting the dresses, which is a really nice question to get! Although there was a time when my comm would be asked multiple times per meetup if we were a hen party, which made no sense whatsoever.
Yes! I had a lovely lady ask me in French what was I dressed up for, and my French is middling, so I just answered back, "for today!" in French. She laughed and wished me a happy "today." Possibly one of my favourite exchanges.
I find that in Regards to the “lolita is unattainable” attitude there are two main groups of people: Those who want instant fix and those who play the long game. (I can’t blame someone for wanting/expecting a quick cheap recourse. Society has definitely conditioned us in the fashion industry to expect cheap off the rack options.) I definitely had to wait a literal decade and a half to start wearing the fashion mainly due to financial priorities in addition to learning what the fashion was so I could make my own dresses. It’s a mindset shift that has to happen to shift from feeling defeated to resolving to find a way, whether learning to budget and save as well as being resourceful.
This but also a lot of people getting into it are going to be younger since they're the ones browsing social media finding out about different styles, so to them waiting to have an income may seem so far away since they've never done it and it seems impossible
i typically never mind answering peoples questions in public about the fashion but gosh i really dislike non-consensual pictures. i typically will take pictures with anyone, but my friend and i were at our local mall in lolita and denied someone a picture since we were extremely tired and had been asked for so many pictures already. they look at each other, start laughing and when we turn around we notice they are following us with their cameras out recording.
I've been getting RU-vid ads for Devil Inspire so I'm happy lolita and alt fashion is getting more attainable. The only question I get besides "why am I dressed up" is " what's holding up your dress" I used a hoop skirt and bloomers so I like it when people ask and I can show them. Not everyday you see someone in a hoopskirts. 😂
I wore lolita to a rich people mall(it's got like, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and Neiman Marcus) and there was a lady working in a perfume section who was loving my coord and was like "are you wearing a petticoat under that!?" And I was like "yeah!" And did a lil twirl haha. It was great, she was very respectful and genuinely interested in the fashion :)
When I’m able to make use of my vintage accessories with my lolita coords or make vintage inspired outfits while incorporating my lolita items, I feel like I have crossed over into another level of fashion.
I do think, as a complete outsider who's observed lolita for years and wears alt fashion, terminally online lolitas don't foster a great community for newbies or people who are different. I see new people get a garment or an accessory.for the very first time and create a hybrid outfit that includes some lolita pieces. And immediately, I see "that's not lolita." Or "that's not real lolita." This all-in mentality I feel like really prevents the community and maybe even the brands from becoming more accessible. I guess I just don't really see that level of gatekeeping in other fashions. I like vintage fashion and you'll always see people being like "I tried victory rolls today!" Or "my first corset!" And the community is welcoming. But when I see someone say "I wore my first lolita dress!" It's met with "you're not a real lolita."
i definitely feel this as a new lolita- the lolita communities online have felt more discouraging and isolating than any other fashion communities i've been a part of :(
I kind of feel on the fence about this: on one hand, a lot of people do go way too hard on beginners, but on the other hand I think a lot of people feel that if they don't police the style hard enough it will lose its identity or its distinctiveness. Personally, I don't think that making hybrid coords or mixing styles is a bad thing: I think most lolitas I know also are into other fashion subcultures, which influences their coords. But, I don't think I'd be as open to people posting cosplays or outfits of unrelated jfashion styles in specifically lolita places, because those are pretty plainly not lolita.
@@eggy3231 a huge barrier for me into lolita is the concept of coords to be honest. I've never encountered that in another alt fashion (I'm not overly versed, mind you. My experience is in goth and vintage fashions). In my experience, a fashion is defined by a few select traits, like silhouettes or a few particular types of garments. Never have I seen it be so strict that every item on your body has to adhere to a specific rule or else it "isn't lolita." There's a lot about lolita that appeals to me aesthetically but if I wore it, I'd integrate pieces into my pre-existing wardrobe. Which basically means I'd never engage with the community because I'd never be a "real" lolita. Which is so odd to me as that's not how any other fashion I've participated in has been.
@@brees3 A coord is just the japanese loanword for outfit (taken from coordinate). It's used outside of lolita as well for basically any outfit or "look". As well, I think that a lot of online communities for lolitas are very good at telling people what to do but terrible at explaining why we do them. A lot of lolita knowledge comes down to recognizing what styles fit into the aesthetic and which don't, but that is something that comes more with time and experience, so it tends to get condensed into "rules" for beginners. In the same way that not every black piece of clothing is goth, not everything frilly is lolita. I also agree with your assessment of "chronically online" though, I think a lot of the people who are the strictest about following rules are people who don't really wear the fashion outside much. I'm far from a lifestyler but I have a lot of pieces that I just wear casually, and I definitely play hard and fast with the rules for those.
It's probably just cause lolita has a lot of strict rules about dressing in it, dress can't be too short, cover your shoulders, usually wear a headpiece ect, every outfit has quite a few standards to meet. While most other fashions have a few signature things you can add to anything to make it alt. I don't think there's a single other subculture with rules this strict
Once I have had a lady that came to me and few other comm members and asked if we were burlesque performers 😂 she was super nice and all so no hard feelings
i actually just hosted a lolita 101 panel at a con recently, answering so many questions that normies would have asked me like in the video, and it was honestly very satisfying answering questions so easily for the 20-30 people who showed up so I didn't have to repeat myself 😅 also i will die for harley, she reminds me so much of my partner's dog who is the same exact mix (except his dog is a yellow lab/pyrenees mix) and has knocked me over countless times for being an absolute unit
Dogs are like universal mediators 🤣 I propose we have dogs at every important political/social debate 😂 Dogs read people very well and it might take people out of their head's for a minute. 🐕
people have asked me if I'm in folkwear and on one very scary occassion when I was out in sweet lolita a group of young men kept coming up to me and asking me how old I was one after the other, then they went back to their group laughing at me and sent the next one to ask it. I was waiting for the metro so I walked further up on the platform to be left alone and when the metro came they caught up with me and boarded the train at the same door as me, I got off at the next station at the very last minute before the doors closed so they couldn't follow me, they really really scared me and I was very upset, and when I made a facebook post about it ( back then when it was the hip new platform) my grandma said well no wonder they harrassed me, I was dressed strangely what was I expecting.....(thanks granma that's really comforting) but really nearly everytime I was wearing lolita just sitting on the bus or standing on an escalator, people would loudly comment somethign rude or strange people would try to talk to me even when I tried walking away. Maybe I'm just very unlucky or look bullyable, or just don't have thick enough skin, cuz my other alternative friends have told similar stories to mine, but they seem to not be so affected as me , nowadays I change in the cafe bathrooms if there is a meet, I'm just too anxious to be out in the streets and public transit in lolita :(( It's really sad that people cannot bear to see a person dressed alternitavely withouth hassling them , like just....look away and walk away if you don't like it, no need to be schoolyard bullies or worse jashfjaeh sorry this just tangentally related , it's not really the question's ppl ask but just ranting about being hassled in general :"))
For a society that’s supposed to value individualism we sure don’t make it easy to actually practice it. On a lighter note I love that hat with the rest of the coord and seeing you go into depth explaining things with the doggo giving you that classic “no thoughts head empty” look.
The truth is, I haven't dyed my actual hair in probably 3 months and my blonde roots are really long haha I have been really feeling these wigs lately because it takes way less time to get ready :D I'm glad you like them!
I've never had anyone try to touch my skirt but I did have someone try to film up my skirt. At that point I was still a teenager which is definitely creepier.
The questions from random strangers are much easier to answer if you sew your own stuff. "Why are you wearing that" "I like sewing and want to wear what I make sometimes", "where did you get that" "I made it" it does feel less helpful to the person asking if they seem genuinely interested and nice though. Like I feel like I'm misrepresenting the fashion 😅
In defense to the uncomfortable lolita to have people constantly ask her a personal question she has 0 experience in but for some reason is expected to know does get uncomfortable and tiring. Like sure she could direct and send resources but people take that as getting brushed off. Also there's chat groups and actual plus size lolitas that they can easily find by just typing in "plus size lolita" into google and youtube
I'm not a lolita, and fall into the historty bounding and cottagecore styles. But its almost refreshing to know I'm not alone in getting the play question. Most often though I get complements from old ladies and sometimes teenage girls tho, so it's nice that it heavily outweighs the odd questions. Also, as someone who wears exclusively long dresses with minimal structure, I thankfully never have people touching my dress. I would probably have a heart attack if someone did. It just seems scary somehow.
I would think that if someone was to lift your dress, that it might be assault. Have a whistle ready for such an occasion. Anyone who does that is definitely a creep, IMO.
Obviously sometimes people are rude, which is unacceptable. HOWEVER I think lolitas need to realize that someone being curious or not understanding the fashion is like. Not a hate crime. Like i get that it’s annoying but whenever i see someone be like “they asked if i was in a PLAY can you believe it” “they said i looked like LITTLE BO PEEP” i’m just like. yhea that makes sense, most people aren’t familiar with your niche alt fashion and they’re trying to relate what theyre seeing with something theyre familiar. most times it comes from a place of curiosity rather than malice in my experience at least. idk when someone says i look like little bo peep i’m just happy that they’re engaging with it, i don’t really care if some random stranger “doesn’t get it.” as long as there’s nothing rude/non consensual/malicious happening i couldn’t care less
Idk about you, but the only time I've seen Lolitas talk about that, they were just annoyed. Like sometimes playing it up for the sake of social media engagement, but more of an "ugh, can you not?" Than a "how dare you!" The only thing I've seen Lolitas be genuinely mad about is when people start touching them or taking pictures of them, and Idk man, i feel like that's reasonable.
Actually there's one more thing I've seen Lolitas get mad about that's also very justified, being told that they must be age-playing fetishists or pedo-bait.
@@cartoondeathnoises8756 this is why i specified “as long as there’s nothing rude/non consensual/malicious happening.” i am strictly referring to harmless comments here.
@@urarakaochako6230 and I'm saying that it seems like the problem you're talking about is much less common than you think it is bc those are the only things I see people respond to with more than annoyance.
@@urarakaochako6230 That’s totally fair but also, (and I agree with the other person’s points here that harmless comments aren’t usually what people get upset about) it is sometimes not easy to tell when someone is being malicious with their words. I’ve had interactions before just in everyday life where I think back on an interaction and realize something that sounded harmless had malicious intent, or where in the moment someone says something in a non ideal way and because the meaning and intent wasn’t communicated well it comes across as malicious. People are good at disguising bad thoughts as nice words and vice versa. It’s not always fair to say people are overreacting when communication can be so muddled.
love the video!! when I'm asked where I get my clothes from, I'll tell them "thrifting, second-hand shops" because that's technically true, and it's my small hope of motivating more people to gtfo fast fashion
I've gotten some of these. XD The most common my whole little family gets though is "are you guys getting pictures taken?" Because well, I dress in Lolita, I have frilly dresses for my toddler which she just shines in and my husband is always on the dressy side anyway, though he'd love to be more aristocrat if it were easier to find his size. *shrugs*
I watch a lot of British RU-vid content creators and as much as they say they use metric, almost any discussion of a given subject includes both metric and empirical measures. The only ones that seem consistent are temperatures and gasoline (petrol). For example, I hear driving distances in both miles and kilometers. Clothing sizes are not consistent between brands regardless of country of origin. If there is a size chart, use it. US tape measures have inches on one side and centimeters on the other. And, there's always google.
I'm new to lolita but I can't quite do a full coord because of my sensory issues and disability so I just wear a cardi or tshirt underneath instead of a blouse 😅
I Would Say its An Unrealistic Answer that Lolita that Wear the Lolita dress in Public space for the First time is never fear of public stares or judgement Because building confidence is not an instant one day process with tons of shorcuts
In defense of the one Lolita who said it made her uncomfortable, she said she does provide the resources and tries her best but just doesn't understand the details or intricacies specifically which is totally ok imo
Styling to your body type is something rather personal and based around advise of people who have shared experiences, so to have people constantly ask you a personal question that you have 0 experience in would get uncomfortable
Saying it makes them uncomfortable, whether intended or not, put blame on the people who are asking them for advice. I feel like saying it makes me uncomfortable (for people asking for help) is understandably rude, saying it makes you feel like a disappointment or a failure because you don’t have all the answers makes sense and is reasonable, but uncomfortable is not a good word to use for a situation like this.
Most of my wardrobe is classic so I get a lot questions asking what "era" or "decade" I'm dressed in. The most interesting question I've gotten though was "What country are you from/representing"
If I got to start wearing lolita dresses, I imagine I would still wear my leggings and sneakers, like I do with all of my dresses and skirts. I pretty much live in leggings and sneakers, like a cartoon character.
Yea I feel tht y u need to lift my skirt) dress cause my mom did tht n I almost hit her and my aunt for lifting my skirt like boundaries u learnt his in preschool and kindergarten
Im constantly asked if im wearing a costume. Its annoying. Sometimes even when I correct them, they continue to call what i wear a costume. Ive also been photographed without my permission which is also extremely annoying.
as someone who genuinely lost a friendship the first day i went out in lolita (from a supposed alt kid who was outraged and mortified because 'how am i supposed to stand next to you when you look like that' and started a shouting match next to a bus stop, teenagers r crazy man) ive gotten over.the weird reactions to 'unusual' fashion, and honestly as someone that cant wear fashion really rn due to illness im almost excited to make those types of people mad again by my existence lol I have mad anxiety but this type of reaction was drilled into me as stupid so early on that its probably one of the only things i dont care about
Oooo lets make a futur lolita brand. Like the jetsons. And we can make a cool name like edwardian and victorian for male and females and everything in between. We can use lolita for 🏳️🌈
I typically get the skirt lifting when I wear lolita to work. It’s always older ladies. Most just ask if I’m wearing a “crinoline” but a few have just decided to look. 🥲 I do think it’s a strange thing to do and even though I don’t care much, if given the option between them doing that or not I would definitely choose not. Lately I haven’t been wearing lolita though because my boss cracked down on the dress code. She didn’t specifically say no lolita but she did say no costumey attire so I’m pretty sure I know what she meant. (She does like the lolita outfits I wear to the work Christmas parties though) Sometimes I’ll wear a Bodyline dress with no petticoat and that’s been fine.
About the asking how much it cost - I had a milky planet skirt that I got way back then for $100 and someone asked how much did it cost when it was at the height of $300-1000 recently and I was just like "UMM a lot :)" because it was just worth so much more than I got it for
