@@ergotempusvernum It probably wouldn't stick because they didn't actually talk about any case. Still, a good thing to have in their records. I'm agreeing with others that it wasn't actually medical stuff they wanted to talk about, but using HIPAA as an excuse deserves a report.
He did nothing for his father in life, why does he expect a majority of the estate? Typical main character syndrome. Leave him two cents, which is all he deserves.
@@mask938 It's actually a good idea to leave someone you've disowned some pittance in your will. It makes it difficult for them to contest it since it clearly shows you did think of them and that's exactly how much you thought they were worth.
As someone who has worked in healthcare, the story about the doctor’s birthday party made me think “I would never discuss confidential work information at a restaurant”. A restaurant is way too public and someone could overhear us and we could get arrested for a HIPAA violation.
Exactly what I thought, rslash should have given them at least 4 bh's - they were not only mean to the gf,but using confidential medical talk as an excuse for her to is completely inappropriate, that kind of talk is meant for private spaces at work. And beyond that would they all be involved in the same case? Because if not, that would still be inappropriate. They all ( including bf) are immoral jerks. Definitely need more bh's.
I agree a restaurant isn’t an appropriate setting for medical professionals to be discussing patients/cases. OP should let the friends and her boyfriend’s employer know that they apparently find it acceptable to discuss patients/cases in a very public setting like that. Also they seem to have so little respect for patient confidentiality that they’re comfortable “weaponizing” this sensitive information in order to “clear a room”. Obviously the way OP approaches this would need to be handled carefully so as not to appear as if she’s just spiteful, and I’m sure it would inevitably appear that way especially to the boyfriend and friends. But if I was a patient of one of those fools I’d really like to be made aware of the behavior of my doctor in regards to my private medical information.
Seriously! Many suspicious actions on that bf's part. And his colleagues were all asses as well. I assume the bf has said things about her to them. Or they are just truly terrible humans for treating the SO ov a coworker so shamefully. If a SO did that to me or did not stand up for me I would simply walk away. They do not respect you thus they do not deserve you
I was like that too. Seriously I was expecting a dead beat Dad saying that he hated and disowned his son because [insert dumb reason that has nothing to do with his son] only to hear a dead beat son getting torn in two by his family for cheating and abandoning his wife and child.
The kid did nothing wrong my heart broke for him. I'm actually one of those babies and my brother would never be such a peice of utter trash. It wasn't his fault he was born.. I'd get it if he was 7 but no.. What the hell?
That story made my blood boil! Like the kid didn’t ask to be born, your mom and step dad just had the kid the time they did. That person needs serious help because they said they didn’t want a sibling but like you aren’t the one in your parents bedroom to let it happen or not happen 😒 you want to be the only child then disown your family and never talk to them because that kid didn’t deserve that at all! 😡
Honestly going against the grain here and saying op was 22-32, and was an adult living away from them the entire time and it was completely within his right to decide who does and doesn’t have a relationship with him, including children. Hes oddly angry about it, so I’m going to assume when he told the kid that, he probably said it in a rude way, which ISNT ok. But deciding you want nothing to do with a kid that you had no involvement in making, and even telling the kid politely that you don’t have an interest in being friends, is fine.
Yep. I work in afield like this and we just use generalizations and definitely tone it down in a public restaurant. He clearly talks scrap about her at work.
Last story: The kid has a high chance of being bullied if he's named that. As an Indian with an extremely rare Indian name, I got teased *by other Indians* for having that name. Names matter a lot! A name can drag you down or give you stress so it is incredibly important!
That's the issue, think on how other people will react to the name when they're a kid and when they're an adult, the cultural thing is the less important. Though in the other side where I live last year the most popular boy name was a religous name (common thing) that is also used as an insult by kids and those parents likely used as insult.
@@farooqshahzad8272 Mine is Benjamin, from Breaking Benjamin, and you're damn straight I'm naming my kid Ben 🤣 But kids will bully over the smallest thing. Heck, I was bullied for my last name, something I can't change. And my father still doesn't want me to change it, even after I legally changed my first name. I don't think the bullying is a good argument. Being white and not living in Korea is a better one. A couple of my kids are gonna end up with Japanese names, but I'm also currently working on moving to Japan so it makes more sense.
I went to school with a girl whose first name was Japanese and her last name was very Anglo. Think something like Kiyomi Johnson. Her mom was Japanese and her dad was a white American, but the girl took after her dad and looked very white. So she appeared to the world like a white girl with a very Japanese name. She got comments on it a LOT. She got made fun of, she got racist comments, she got racist assumptions, some people assumed it wasn’t her “real name” and that she got it from an anime or something just to seem cool and interesting. It was really annoying for her. She said she liked having that tie to her mother and her Japanese side of the family, but she wished she had a more “American” nickname to fall back on. I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been for her if both her parents had been white.
Story 1: Don't cut Matt out of the will. Instead, only give him 1 cent, and include a clause in the will stating if Matt tries to contest it, THEN he'll get nothing! You reap what you sow, NTA.
even better, give him 1 cent but leave something to his son so the son isnt punish (and like have it put in a trust that can only be accessed by the kid at 18) but include a clause that if he contest it both him and his son wont get anything. im pretty sure his wife will pressure him into not contesting at all XD
@@Alteusgirl I like this. One cent is not going to keep him from contesting despite the fact that it proves that his dad didn't "forget" him. But having a nice, moderate trust for the grandson to look forward to would be a nice consolation prize for having a butthole for a father besides putting the brakes on legal shenanigans.
I've got a solution for the last story: Give the baby an anglicized version of the name, like John Hugh. Still honoring the artist without potential cultural appropriation.
I had the same thought, but couldn't think of a second name that fits. John Hugh could be a very nice name, and his call name could be just John, a very simple name with a hidden meaning
@@liuqmno3421 They could even make it a composite name. I don't know how common it is in the Anglosphere, but it's normal here in Brazil, like Maria Eduarda, or João Pedro.
Third story : Either there's something missing here or his friends are major aholes... But your BF accepting that abuse toward you makes him no better than them.
There’s definitely something else going on here. Either OP always acts obnoxiously around the doctors and conveniently failed to mention her own bad behavior in the post, or the boyfriend and the doctors have some sort of secret like other people here have suggested.
Exactly. OP knew at THIRTEEN YEARS OLD that he needed to get a job and save money to move out as soon as he hit eighteen. Knowing that your parents never wanted you but only had you to appease their religious beliefs, knowing they wanted you gone as soon as you could leave... That's so damaging! Like, this poor kid didn't even realize how tense and awkward things were at home until he left. It will have effects that follow him his whole life, and all mom and dad care about is that their friends don't invite them to things as much? GEEZ.
“She’d just grow up to be a ***** like her mother.” So says the cheating tool. About his own daughter. Didn’t know you could pull off a double take with audio only.
@Chris G He's probably one of those people (as women can be the same) who blames their spouse for them cheating. If she would've done this or that or didn't do this or that or if she had dressed like this or not like that, etc then he wouldn't have "needed" to cheat. Or, like a lot of cheaters, he was projecting. Since he was cheating she "must" be cheating because how could she not know he was? I had an ex once who cheated on me. He mocked her boyfriend "for not knowing" he was having sex with her because he had dropped by one day after they had sex and didn't immediately assume the worst; ie he trusted his girlfriend.
@Chris G I agree. I was young and first relationship so I stupidly said I'd forgive him if he just told me if he cheated. And that's how I got that story. I think I called that out, that maybe he just trusted his girlfriend. I think he responded that she wasn't really "his" as they weren't married. Yet when I broke up with him and dated someone else, admittedly too soon but I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and when I realized it was a rebound type I told him. Anyhow, my ex then called me a slut because I dated someone else yet he cheated on me. With his logic I should've been in the clear because it's not like he was married to me, right? Nope. He had expected me to always be with him and only him while he could be with others whenever he wanted but I always had to be there for him. Thankfully we didn't have children but if we had, I could see how he could be very ugly towards her because he'd want to hurt me. He'd know the most effective way to hurt me would be to hurt my child. And he'd probably think the child wasn't his in the first place because he's cheated so I must've too; until a DNA test that is and even then he might've rejected the results . Thankfully he's in a few states away now but it still effects me. I wish he would've just ended the relationship instead of cheated. I would've been hurt either way but at least I could've walked away with my respect for myself.
@@wolvesrfun wait you siding with the fuck up ager issue big brother he's the ass hat here he treated the kid so bad the kid only wanted to be liked and nope the dude screamed at him you know how much damage that can do to a child's metal tate he said he was a introvert now he's going to be more Scared to make more friends have you literally seen the story
@@wolvesrfun "That kid IS entitled to an older sibling's love and support" he is entitled to his parents love and support. not someone who is removed from any decision and made it very clear that he didnt want a relationship. Yeah he was an asshole about it but so were the other people for trying to force a relationship. forcing a relationship has never worked for anyone.
@@wolvesrfun Well, people don’t have to like babies. I personally don’t, and I’m not going to have any. But just because I say I don’t like kids/babies, doesn’t mean I’m an awful person. I still have a heart. I may not like them, but when I hear about someone abusing a child sexually, physically, etc. it makes my blood boil. I know kids are innocent and don’t deserve that. But I don’t like them still and choose not to have any. And that’s my opinion. Telling others they should rot in hell for simply not liking children isn’t okay.
The last story has a positive update, the OP and majority of Reddit talked some sense into the wife on it and they agreed to a happy medium compromise on the name that works out better
I would have disowned Matthew, re-owned him, and disowned him a second time after saying some garbage like that. The level of entitlement and the NERVE to call your own daughter a slur.
Huh??? I never thought of the word Whore as a slur. An insult for sure, but never a slur…. How culture affects peoples viewpoints on these things fascinate.
Yeah I was really suspect on that post at first that maybe OP was actually the butthole and she was leaving out the details that made her look bad but after that bit I was like nope, clear cut he's just awful.
Cultural differences aside, the op in the "my parents kicked me out" story is not obligated to save his parents reputation. If he's happy with the current situation stay with it for as long as possible. In the mean time, save as much money as you can, make yourself as useful around your landlords place as you can, and just be all around as good of a person you can, simple as that.
One's abuser has no right to demand that their victim save their face. They deserve the consequences of their action. I would treat like trash anyone who threw their kid at 18 for the crime of existing.
His parents neglect him. Basically ditch him as quick as possible, and only want him back to safe face. This is not 'cultural difference', this is two abusers who are facing the consequences of their neglect. And this is his whole extended family too. They don't deserve even a drop of mercy. And if OP better stays away, if he moves in, things will likely get worse
I feel so sorry for potential Jeong Hyun. Okay folks, can we all agree that just cause you like a name or it's important to you doesn't mean it should be your kids name? I mean, I'm a comic geek, and comics did help me get through many tough times when I was a child, but I would never name my child "Gambit T'Challa"
Would still be a cool middle name. But yeah I get your point. It's actually sad that we can't choose names that just sound good because someone always needs to slap a label on that person. "Uuuhhh asian name. Must be from china!" We are not quite there yet. Maybe in another 200 years perhaps.
My name is Storm so my dad likes to say he did do that. But I can also say I'm a force of nature. No one really makes fun of it, they just call me Star, or Thunder, or Hurricane. Annoying, but not bullying per se. Most people just think it's cool
@@stormwright8300 Yeah that's one that not everyone will associate with X-men instantly. Although it does instantly make me think of the Tim Minchin bit. Sorry if I'm like the ten millionth person to say that.
As someone who works in the medical field I find it laughable that those doctors won't discuss confidential medical stuff in front of OP, even though they are in a crowded restaurant.
That second story just made me feel sad. I have an adopted brother 11 years younger than me and I could never imagine treating him the way OP did his half brother. Poor kid just wanted to hang out. Edit: I am also adopted. My brother and I are adopted from different families.
At the same time just because they are "related" doesnt mean that OP feels any connection and they arent a bad person for not feeling a connection or wanting one. They have a father and seem lukewarm with their mother This new child was not part of that relationship and so OP doesnt feel anything, and i will say he was horrible for what he said to the kid as it wasnt the kids fault, i will say this is a talk he should have had with his mother about the situation because just because she decided to have kids doesnt mean at his age he should have to be a part of it.
Adopted brother is way different fron half-brother. Besides you it would be very unlikrly that you could be a parent at 11 yrs old. I think that's the hang up. One cannot force who one likes/loves. So, just because he wanted to "hang out", it doesn't mean that the older want to too. That is a fact of life. Could OP have done it more tactfully? Yes!!! Is OP a bad person for feeling that way? Hell no!!!! Do I feel sorry for the kid? Yeah, he just wants a friend and a brother. But, just because he wanted it, doesn't mean het will get it.
The confidentiality thing was total bs. Doctors can't discuss confidential info with other doctors. So, whatever it is they wanted to discuss it couldn't have been what they said it was.
Honestly, from the sounds of it, the moment they got into the restaurant they couldn't wait to be rude and disrespectful towards OP. I bet throughout the dinner half of them were chewing the napkins and tablecloth because they were desperate to talk smack about OP behind her back. Couldn't even be thankful for free food. Her boyfriend and his friends are absolute jokes.
Doctors, nurses etc can and do discuss their patients and cases with each other regularly. However there are rules and restrictions as to what information can be shared and under what conditions/in what situations.
Story 3 - NTA Boyfriend needs to stick up for OP. Also, who discusses medical information IN A RESTAURANT?!?!?! Wouldn’t they have to ask everyone in the restaurant to leave because random patrons, hosts/hostesses, servers and cooks could hear private information. Nah, this was about pushing OP out but eating on her dime.
I spent my entire childhood and adult life surrounded by medical professionals, not a single one hesitated to talk about something from work in front of other people. Technically as long as they dont say anyone's name theyre in the clear for "patient confidentiality". Those guys were assholes and the BF is probably cheating on her with someone from work.
not only that. they're being sketchy with the 'we need to talk confidential stuff, so get'. when you have an entire group claiming a need for secrecy in a place where secrecy is nigh-on impossible, that tends to mean they want to engage in things that the person being thrown out would very much object to. my guess is that that OP's boyfriend is cheating on her with someone the friends actually know of, they're covering the cheating, and that person was on their way there.
I'm not saying OP's in the right, but, did no one realize that they said they didn't want anything to do with the child? so I think his hate is semi-justified, just aimed at the wrong person
The second story completely broke my heart. I know how that kid feels, not rejected from and elder sibling but feeling unaccepted even when you try your best and hardest. I would love to be that lil kids big sister.
Jeong-hyun was an amazing person, and will be extremely missed, but… this is inappropriate. Her child isn’t a tribute, or a pet. His name needs to be taken extremely seriously, as he will be stuck with the name until he can legally change it himself. While the intentions may be purely good, it won’t be a good idea for him… Edit to add: there’s also the reason the idol’s tragedy happened and personally, it doesn’t feel appropriate… the fame he had was a key instrument for his not getting help. The kpop industry as a whole claims many victims to the point it becomes a moral question of if its okay to keep supporting such an industry.
Exactly. He took his own life. If you wanted to make a tribute, maybe...make a painting? Or something? Anything else. But don't name your child after someone who took their own life. Also, it's not just the Kpop industry. The entertainment industry in general has taken many lives. It took his not only because of the industry but because of culture and time period. His death very evidently shook up the industry because now more than ever, they're pushing for good mental health. It is more common in the West to take a break from something making you feel unhappy because that's how our culture has developed. Most places in the West take it more seriously, whereas for a long time over there, they felt it was just something you could get over. It was just like, you could see a therapist, but it's not that urgent. It was felt that it was a mind over matter thing, and is still felt that way by some. Now it is drastically different, so I don't think there's a need to question whether or not to support it. What needs to stop being supported is stars not getting the mental help they need, and as Kpop gains more international fans, there has been a huge turning point. I hate that it was a death that brought it about, but it clearly shook things up for the better.
Story 1: What in the Triple-A peck is wrong with that guy? Who would honestly think Matthew would be in the right? I agree with what OP did. I wouldn’t want someone like Matthew in my family (if I ever decide to have one)
That last story...no one seems to think about how a name effects a person's life. Walking those culture lines is tricky today, amd as Dabney said we don't know what it'll be like 20 yrs down the road. Names can effect everything from friends, to jobs, to things about our personality. People really need to think this through.
Honestly they could easily name their kid something non-Korean and use the Korean name as a nickname if they wanted to. Explain the meaning and why to the kid, have it be a little inside joke or something
yes that kid is gonna be judged and questionned because of his mom's decision and people are gonna notice how unsensitive this is culturally. also naming your child after a celebrity you love in always found creepy..
I feel it doesn't stretch to the point of your personality but my thinking is that if you really want to honour someone you make it there middle name like with me I want to have my son named after my grandfather who died before my mum was born but being Spanish and growing up in the UK everyone always and I mean always pronounced my name incorrectly and it did bug my for the longest time I don't feel it's fair to put my kid through that
Doctor story, before hearing slashes review: These "doctors" seriously need to be fired. They are willing to use patient privacy to force OP out of a party OP paid for, but they dont care about patient privacy enough to not talk bussiness in such a public environment. Patient privacy is taken VERY seriously in the medical field, and is right on uo there with a soldier committing treason as far as how quick and harsh punishment can be. Dont get me wrong, if the friends have known the dude longer they absolutely have more priority than the girlfriend be default. But for treating her like she is somehow less than human for jot being a doctor is absolutely gross and the dude should totally dump his friends.
I'm willing to bet money on that they have no real plans of talking business, they're just finding an excuse to force her to leave. Like you said, patient privacy is a serious matter and im sure these doctors aren't actually dumb enough to talk about confidential information in a public setting. They're just using it as an excuse to shoo her away. It's like adults waving off kids by using the "It's grown up talk" when in reality they just want the kid to leave.
I agreed with you until the more priority thing. They’re dating, they potentially have a future of getting married and having kids, she should matter more than his friends just cause they knew him longer.
@@BubbleBunnyy I understand that's how many people feel about it, but personally the friends I've known the longest are also my best friends who have helped me through more than I can tell. I hold no negative judgement toward those who feel the way you do. It is a perfectly valid way to see it, as your future is important and one should take planning for it seriously. It's just not for me.
I mean if they ask everyone who isn't involved in the case to go away that's not a violation. However it's pretty clear that one of two things is going on. Either they're sexist as fuck, and/or they don't care whatsoever about OP because her boyfriend is seeing multiple girls at once and/or has spent years doing a revolving door of relationships so the guys know she doesn't matter to him and they have no social pressure to tolerate her.
I have 7! older brothers with an age difference from 19 years to 15 months older. My mom was 40 when I was born. I cannot imagine my brothers hating me like that! I was and am still SO loved by all of them. How can you hate an innocent child?
the last story: though the wife wants to honour Jonghyun, like what rslash said, she needs to think about how cruel kids can be. she also needs to understand that others could take it as her being a koreaboo or something.
My mother named us all after Irish and Norse Gods, She's not a sadist though she made them our middle names. That said my sister has a typically obtuse Irish name weird spelling and all, we grew up in Norway in the mid twentieth oddly enough she has always loved her name. But at least my mother is Irish this woman is a fucking fruitcake.
He disowned his daughter by his first wife, and the rest of the family and friends wanna accuse OP of playing favorites? what OP is doing is returning that same energy
The last story: honestly OP and his wife could come to a compromise. They could name him something that phonetically sounds similar (name him John or something) but is average enough for the kid to not get made fun of growing up, but then similar enough so that it reminds the wife of the original name. They could even keep the middle name, honestly. Who in gods green fucking earth ever hears your middle name? Hardly anyone lol. But yeah, I really do get where both of them are coming from. Like they're going to HAVE to come to a compromise, sounds like there's no choice. It's not just about what she wants, after all. It's about what's good for the child too
Story 2: “How dare my mom have a sex life” The 14 year old is way more mature than the 30 year old big baby. I hope OPs brother knows this isn’t his fault his older brother is a jerk.
I usually watch this stuff and laugh but... this one made me angry. So this matthew guy not only left his wife and kid, he disowned the kid and called her that... and tried to claim more of the inheritance than his other siblings... and blew up on his DYING father after not wanting to be near his parents... That one made me angry. Matthew get's more than 4.5 out of 5 - he's all the way up to 10.
In the story about the birthday party, my first thought was that OP's boyfriend is leading a double life. She could be a mistress and not know, which could explain why the friends detest her so much.
Maybe the friends are a bunch of emotionally stunted teenagers in adult bodies who hate others for shallow reasons like fashion or weight. Maybe they have a childish clique mentality
that first story made me feel a certain way. I dated a guy who’s mom I still talk to more than my own. We don’t have a kid together. She told him “you broke up with her I didn’t” when she still talked and helped me through the breakup. being able to have that relationship taught me a lot because I don’t have a close relationship with mine. We’ve been broken up for 9 years, she has a pic of me and my daughter up on her wall. My own mom can’t even be bothered to ask, like a picture or even pretend to have an interest in her granddaughter. I would have been screwed without that family. She showed me what an independent woman who refuses to rely on a man looks like, She even retired early. My mom can’t hold down a job at all. I’m super happy to have that relationship, her son even showed me what a healthy relationship was. After we broke up with no fighting we went to the casino together. So it’s not like we even had a traumatic breakup. If he ever talked about me like that, I could have definitely seen her doing the exact same thing. That’s a special thing to have when you don’t have family because you see what that’s like and have someone that you know is in your corner like family should be.
I can kind of understand OP in story 2 because theres probably something going on he didn't mention but he does have a lot of misplaced anger towards his half brother. I still think that 5/5 is a bit too much considering he gave Matt from story 1 a 4.5 but he definitely deserves a 3/5 at least
As someone in an exact situation as OP, I’m 25, the oldest of ten, with the youngest not even a year old yet. My mom had me on her 19 birthday, and just never stopped. It wouldn’t be a big deal if she and our dad could afford to have and take care of their kids, and if they didn’t parentify older siblings to take their place as the adults. I harbor no I’ll will to my siblings, but I don’t want to have relationships with them because of bad parents. Regardless, the op shouldn’t have caved if they really didn’t wanna meet their younger sibling. If you don’t wanna meet them, then don’t meet them.
Last story: parents being this attachted to a name always scares me. Like, this is a person, not an object. You don't own them, so why are you getting so possessive over their name? Also, what of the kid wants to change their name when their older, is the mom going to try and fight them on that?
Seriously? If it wasn’t for one parent wanting a name really bad. I would not have my name. I love my name. The other name that was wanted became my middle name, and I hate that name. Most people like the name that they’re given at birth. People have reasons for being obsessed with the name. Just because you can’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
I mean I agree, I think both parents should agree on a name and the mom in the last story just sounds a little weird and obsessive. I think it's important to consider the child's future
Maybe they could compromise by naming their son something in Irish, or whatever ethnic language from the place they are from, that means the same as Jong-Hyun. It would be a nice way to combine things that are important to both parents. But the mom’s devotion to this one name is very frightening because she might place all her grief and love for that singer on her kid 😕
@@etherealaesthetical I saw an update on another channel and they did end up compromising to something Irish that sounded similar and also had a similar meaning. Can't remember it though.
The last story: I understand where the wife is coming from since Junghyun has been a stable rock for most kpop stans even after his passing so wanting to honour his name in some way is understandable. But naming your child after a dead person, who mind you, she had no formalities with is...idk how to put it other than disrespectful. It's both disrespectful to Junghyun himself and his family. It would be basic decency to not name your child after someone you didn't know personally. More over if that person was a suicide victim. Again I'm not saying the op's wife is a butthole but she as a kpop fan, should know how naming her child after such legend in kpop would turn out. Some kpop fans are the worst and I wouldn't be surprised if both parents AND the child would get death threats. Plz op's wife should really think about her child's future before deciding on the name.
Yeah... kpop stans can be really toxic. It is normal for parents to pick a name they resonate with but this was painful. I myself wouldn't want to name my potential children by the people I loved and lost (even if it was a celebrity). I wouldn't want to remind myself of the pain everytime I look at my child. I literary burst into tears when I saw the title.
@@terezamatys4489 yeah and if she does name the child that would she expect the kid to be like the celebrity? The kid wouldn't have much personality if all the mother does is push another person's name onto them. And imagine how disappointed she would be once the kid turns out nothing like the idol. It would cause a lot of problems further on.
I actually like it when westerners appreciate asian culture and don't really subscribe to the whole "cultural appropriation" thing. But the wife naming their child junghyun will only make the life of the child miserable, by painting a giant target for bullying on his back. Still, I can't really complain since I know a few people here who named their children after western celebs/characters. My brother (not blood related or an actual brother) named his daughter Rinoa Aerith, and my boss named her son Prince (the singer).
@@severedproxy oh I wasn't saying she can't name her kid after Asian cultural names it's just that this person holds a very special place in some ppls heart so the kid would most likely get bullied by some of Junghyun's fans. Also Junghyun was a suicide victim so that would be sour spot for some ppl. And I'm sorry if this is rude but western kids find any name unusual funny so if the mom don't want her kid and Junghyun to get made fun of she should decide carefully.
@@yvta_sb Oh, I actually agree with your comment 100%, pardon my english because I can't translate my thoughts properly. I just meant to say that, if she names her child Junghyun, he will most likely be a target for bullying by children his age when he grows up.
Second story, it sounds like OP is dealing with feeling hurt and abandoned by his mom, and is taking it out on the new half sibling. He needs therapy or to just cut his mom and her new family out completely or he'll never be happy.
Also the fact OP is a 35 year-old man acting like a spoiled brat towards a 13 year-old that just wants a brother's affection. I understand an age gap like that is kinda difficult for siblings, I know from experience, but he's 35. There is no reason for him to act like that at that age
I zoned out during the first part of the story and I assumed OP was like 15 or something, and I could understand why OP might be defensive and possessive, but he’s a grown ass man, no grown adult should talk to a 13 y/o like that.
The guy definitely resents his mom for what she did and I wouldn't be surprised if the mom was pressuring him to bond with his half brother considering the lack of friends at school. But with an age gap that big, it is very difficult.
2:02 I just love the fact that rSlash had to physically stop reading and take a breath before continuing. I am so glad whenever rSlash reacts like that cuz it shows how much of a good person he is and how much the one in the story absolutely sucks.
That last story . . . oh my gosh. Many people have always joked or said they'd name their child after their favorite character or singer or something, but that's a whole other level. I mean, if you wanted to do something like that, do it as a middle name. No young kid is going to go around and share their middle name. Heck, my middle name is after my mom's favorite actress from one of her favorite movies. It's not too weird for that to be the case. I mean, I'm all for being interested in other cultures but, yeah, I could see this kid being made fun of for his name.
Problems with the naming of the kid: he'll be made fun of by his peers with all kinds of racist slander little kids can think of, ignorant people may wonder if his father is really Asian and OP is not the dad (believe me, I've seen this level of idiocy), his teachers will think it's a joke on his first day, and for the REST of his LIFE he'll have to explain to everyone that asks "What's the origin of your name?" he'll mumble about how his mom had the hots for a Korean boy band singer. (I realize she may not have actually been attracted to him, but most people will probably interpret it that way.)
Lets be real here, the wife found the dude sexually attractive and wanted to name her son after him. This is basically like trying to name your kids after an Ex.
The bare minimum that a name must do is not make the life of the kid you give it to worse. If the name you came up with can't do that, it's a complete non-starter. This name would be a horrible choice, and the dad should stand his ground.
Ok, for the second story, I honestly think it's totally fine to not want anything to do with the sibling, but it isn't ok to take out your anger on the sibling when you do meet them. Also, the whole thing with the mom is kinda weird, but I don't think op should have gotten 5/5 buttholes. At least compared to the guy for the first story.
Nah, stick to cutting him out completely. Matt doesn’t even deserve a penny of that inheritance. Give it all to the good family members and leave the scumbag with nothing as he deserves.
Good on the OP for taking in the ex wife and kid because I've seem so many families abandon the other half's family. The OP is right in what they are doing. The second story sounds like what I've seen before. A spoiled single kid who is now not the center of attention
@@radhiadeedou8286 right? Like what dude? Mind you he was 22 at that point. Like how is his life going to change? Just dripping in entitlement, single child syndrome and immaturity.
@@radhiadeedou8286 I was my parents surprise baby. My siblings are 5 and 7 years older than me. Definitely not planned but more than welcome anyway. It is odd the OP assumed the brother was international rather than a happy surprise.
The last story is the worst honestly. Jonhgyun didn't just "pass away". He took his own life. His death is still an insanely sore subject to everyone who knew and loved him when he was still alive to this day. I can understand the wife's attachment to him and her wish to honour him in some way, but honestly going with his name is just tasteless. They should consider taking the meaning of his name and translate it into Irish, or pick a western name that phonetically resembles it like John or something instead
That half brother story is like how my half brother and me are. We have a huge age gap between each other but despite that, I plan to be close to my little brother and be a good big sister to him.
Same here! I just had a baby half sister a couple months ago and we have an 18 year age gap. Sure I was upset at first for reasons I won't get into, but I would NEVER do something like that to her! That is so cruel!
Yeah i have a big gap between my oldest halfsister.. the oldest half sister is 9 years my junior but the youngest? 15 i love them to death.. i also have an aunt that is 5 years younger lmao
The second story: I was with OP in the beginning, not wanting to see a kid he had no want nor reason to see, but near the end? That was not ok. Yes, he’s NTA for not wanting to be a part of his half-brother’s life. It’s his choice. But he is TA for how he acted with that half brother. His parents also get like a half point from me for not only pressuring OP but also not respecting he didn’t want to see his half brother. But OP is still TA.
It sounds like the mom and step dad have been trying to force the kid on op and I don't think he deserves what everyone says. I think the parents are the worst part of it and I believe they are training the kid in emotional manipulation
1st Story: Kick the son to the curb and keep the granddaughter and ex-daughter in law. Seriously, he sounds like a nightmare. 2nd story: OP needs to get over himself. He’s got some mommy issues for sure, probably some daddy issues too. Taking it out on a 13 year old is just... ridiculous. 3rd story: boyfriend is USING OP!!! Sadly, a classic tactic. One partner (usually a man, unfortunately) takes all the credit for the work that the other does and tells their friends a very biased story of events. Drop him OP 4th story: WTF? If you don’t want a baby, but have to keep it because of religion, give it up for adoption! If that’s not an option than suck it up and raise your damn kid. OP’s better without them. 5th story: I get where the wife is coming from, but I agree with OP. Rslash has a point though, it’s complicated
@@johnmayernick9561 100% disagree. Even if he has psychological issue, you don't take it out on a child. Sounds like the dude needs a therapist to handle whatever issues he may have from his mom and dad.
@@johnmayernick9561 Really? Breaking the poor kid's heart was in the right? Destroying his hope that he had at least one friend, just one person who wouldn't make him feel abandoned and alone in his life was in the right? You're messed up.
Wow, the 2nd story is crazy. OP needs therapy, there’s something off that he feels so harshly toward a 1/2 sibling that had nothing to do w/ being born.
My dad recently married a woman, who has a kid that is the same age as my daughter. So technically he’s my step brother. It’s freaking weird. But guess what? He chose her, and so they’re family now. And after getting to know them, they’re really lovely people.
the story of the OP not liking his half-brother sounds like OP didn't have proper therapy after his parents separated (specially when it wasn't specified if dad died/cheated/left)
To me, the way OP is writing it is he's trying to make the story sound like one of those stories where the father had died and OP's mother's new husband was like a mistress or something basically trying to replace the husband completely and the new husband becomes his father now.
As an Irish person, I would definitely advocate that any blatantly Irish kid with a Korean name will not have a good childhood and will be bullied horribly
The birthday party story: My Gut is definitely telling me that friends, not approving of OP’s boyfriend dating her, are using every excuse they can to try and get him out and find another possible girlfriend. Convincing her to try and leave, or preventing her from joining them, it’s just another step in separating her from the boyfriend entirely.
My first thought was that maybe the girlfriend is actually a mistress and doesn't know it. That could explain why his friends want nothing to do with her.
@@melissaconnellyjones2622 But shouldn't that reflect worse on the guy? I mean obviously they're all covering for him in some way in some sort of screwed brocode deal. But still
The third story hit hard with me. I dated a guy who pulled this with me, so as one commenter said I used that red flag as a cape and flew away. I even swiped the amount of money I had paid for the party from his stash prior to packing my bags and moving out.
For the doctor story, nothing medical should be confidential. Unless it’s for patient privacy, after then it shouldn’t be a secret. Also, anything about patient privacy shouldn’t be discussed outside of work. I have a doctor uncle who told me a lot of things about medicine( want to be a doctor) and I’m pretty sure they where just trying to get you to leave.
tbh... OP said from the beginning he isn't interested in having a relationship and his mother. The whole situation could have be avoided if OP and his mother had a conversation about how to handle the situation. They should have gotten a therapist 13 years ago
Story 4: Even if you do move back all they’re going to do is wait a little longer to kick you out, don’t put yourself through that twice. Also the truth was going to come out anyway so your parents need to live with it.
Story two....the mom should have NEVER pushed and pushed and pushed her adult son into having a relationship with her new kid. He's almost twice the kid's age. If he doesn't want to be involved leave him alone.
Less than 5 minutes and we got a father calling the daughter he abandoned a wh0re and a guy in his 30s blaming his baby brother for existing, it's a rough one today
That half-sibling story hit close to home. My half-sister is 12 years older and we r close. My 2 half-brothers HATE ME. One is 10 years older, the other 8 years older thanme. (Mom was in her 40s when she had me.) Sis and I have the same mom. Brothers and I have the same dad. Their mom left our dad. The were pissed when I came around. Shit, now I'm trying not to cry at work. :(
@@allisonavery7273 I am currently listing to sailor moon while working. My life is what it is. One is out if my life, the other I refuse to deal with. Thank u for asking. :)
Right? It would understandably explain the hostility and his friends trying to get rid of her. Or she's in a 2 way where Dr BF is dating a nurse aswell which his friends prefer more. Honestly it all is shady as frick and she should get distance from him, if not totally break up with him. Doesn't matter if he's so sweet and perfect when they're alone, if his friends treat her like that, there's something going on, and if he hasn't turned on her yet he will.
OH MY HECCIN' GOD. The story with the remarriage sibling almost had me in angry tears. I have two siblings. Neither of them are from the same dad. One isn't blood related at all, and is 20 years younger than me! But if I wouldn't throw myself in front of a train for this girl. There's a huge age gap, yeah, but this baby adores me. She likes to dress similarly and call us twins. I occasionally bring her on dates with my boyfriend (who has known her since she was born and is cool with it.) This kid, this LITTLE KID, just wants to love you, and you're throwing that back in his face!? It is NOT his fault and he did NOTHING wrong!
My grandfather basically ignored my entire presence for my entire childhood because he got in an argument with my grandma (from the other side of the family) when I was born. I had nothing to do with it, but he loathed me because of it- me, as a child who had no clue why. I just remember not wanting to be in any room with him, because even though I had no idea why, and he didn't explicitly say anything that would indicate him disliking me, I felt hostility coming from him. It was so confusing and it hurt. The thong that cracks me up/weirdos me out the most is that when I was in my teen years he finally started being warm towards me. They're not in my life anymore for other reasons. It's not fair to blame a baby/child for someone else's actions.
Second Story: Take a deep breath and look at your own post. You're beefing...with a ten year old. You're upset over a child for existing. I'd understand if the child might cause too many health complications for your mother but that's not the case. 22 years his senior and he has more mental maturity...grow up.
My older half brother is 30 and I'm 18. We didn't spend much time together growing up but in the last few years he has done more for me than almost anyone else has. If he treated me like OP treated his younger brother then I don't know that I'd even be alive at this point, yet alone in a good place in life
For the last story: maybe consider the name John Henry, or something to that effect? Or, if the meaning is important, find out what English or Irish names mean “lineage” and “virtuous”.
2nd story: Yeah OP is the buttwhole but he told his family multiple times he didn't want to interact with the kid and they pretty much bullied him into spending time with someone he wanted nothing to do with. He shouldn't have taken it out on the kid, but the family should've respected his wishes on not wanting to interact with him.
Yeah but it takes a special kind of evil to be cruel to a child. A child with no friends and gets bullied at that. I can't imagine how depressed that child must have been afterwards knowing that even his brother despises him. I have necies and nephews and a little sister all 8-12 and I'm 18. Do I hang out with them ? No. Are they annoying and I tend to not interact with them whenever possible. ? Yes. Would I ever be cruel to them? No. They're family. Wtf it's not even an excuse.
@@SenailCooledge I know but you said like since he told his family over and over that he didn't want to see the kid as if that's even a small percent of an excuse like seriously don't even give him that.
@@apatheticandaesthetic3882 The family should have respected his wish to not interact with the child. Why would you leave a child with someone who doesn't want anything to do with them?
@@SenailCooledge is it really that unreasonable to want your two sons to meet? I'm assuming it was the child bugging the parents to meet his brother. And how could they even possibly know that a 30+ year old man would throw a temper tantrum at a child ? To me and maybe I should go back and listen again but it doesn't seem like op ever told his family how he felt.
story 2; I was in the exact same situation as the poster, but this was three years ago. My age was 21 and my birth giver was 41 at the time. (not calling her "mom as she was abusive and controlling to me as well as other things, but thats a different story) She had known the guy for 3 months, got pregnant, and then kept whining about how he was cheating and being alcoholic and this and that while refusing to take care of herself during her pregnancy. (she is overweight, has high blood pressure, and diabetes.) She even complained that she was in jail when her doctor had her stay bed bound at the hospital several times because she refused to take care of herself. She's never been one to care about anyone but herself tbh but yeah. Fast forward to my little brother being born. I always looked at him with love and care even if i felt stressed out by him (as i have mental health issues and get stressed out easy due to trauma.) But even with all that, I NEVER EVER held contempt for him. Its not his fault his birth giver is just a huge piece of shit. that op needs to fuckin get his head out of his ass. It seems like he has a loving mother as far as i know because he can only complain about his own issues, and is just treating her and his little brother like shit. Dont take it out on the innocent, its not his fault he was born either you fucker. Its disrespectful as all hell to treat anyone like this, ESPECIALLY a child who doesnt deserve any of this. I genuinely hope op goes to fuckin therapy or an anger class to learn to handle himself properly cause man.. I fear for his future kids and spouse if he ever decides to have them.
2nd story: I feel so bad for the kid, literally just want a friend, no one accepted him and he thought his own brother will accept him.... but he had to be an idiot, hopefully this kid is doing OK.
If the doctors are discussing confidential information about patients, and aren’t trying to get help with treatment. Then that’s a violation of HIPPA, I’ve seen nurses and doctors fired and lose their license because of it. Doing it in a setting like that has no safeguards and can be overheard by others. That’s not ok
2nd story: I'm a late child from remarrying on both sides... my youngest older brother is 7 years older and my oldest siblings are 15 and 17 years older than me. I get along decently with the brother 7 years older and amazingly with the eldest. So OP is 100% the butthole cause they're being unneccessary
“Parents Change Their Mind” story (aka, Kicked out at 18): I wasn’t abused like OP, but my old home had a tension in it because of the Paternal figure of the house, an alcoholic with violent tendencies and often shouted for no reason, who became a liar and manipulator pretty openly this year. I moved out on my own recently and an in bliss, and the rest of my family is finiding places as well. I’d be hesitant to move in with most cuz I like my apartment and being alone, but would if needed. But the alcoholic? Even if it meant I had to sleep in a cardboard box on the streets, I refuse to ever live with that individual again.
3rd story: I would've gone home... and either changed the locks or moved out, depending on who owns the house. Obviously he chose his friends over OP, so she has no business staying with him.
The doctor story, that theory actually makes a bit of sense. My dad was an AH and in a public position when I was a kid. He’d bad mouth my mom and I to everyone, telling people that she was an alcoholic and 12 year old me was sleeping around (both things that *he* was doing) and made himself out to be the “suffering father.” Everyone treated us so badly without ever saying why, and he’d step up to comfort my mom whenever she broke down crying because of it. So yeah, I kind of believe this could be a huge manipulation tactic on the boyfriend’s part.
That third story is atrocious. The fact that the bf just let them be toxic as hell to his gf is insulting. That's unforgivable, and I'd leave him instantly
