Its not about ACTUALLY being neglectful. Its about saving face. Keeping up appearances. My family was like this, and I tried to go to an amusment park with no extra cash on me. My friend was paying for me to get in and for my food so for me the rest was just the joy of going on rides. I didnt care about spending money (cuz I was like 12). Well my grandma yelled at me not because she was worried I woupdnt be able to get anything or eat or anything like that. It was "if you dont have any money on you theyll think youre poor! How dare you!" ....but at the same time we were. And my family wouldnt actually give me any actual money to go so....
I’ll take the mom’s side…to a point. If YOU want to dress in stuff from a thrift store, that’s fine, BUT you should maintain 1 or 2 nice outfits for special occasions. I hate wearing formal wear, but I have at least one nice jacket & tie ensemble for special occasions.
Honestly, in the bathroom story, the woman who started screaming WAS in the wrong. What, she couldn't see this man was standing next to an open changing table with a baby on it? She didn't even ask if he was maybe in the wrong restroom, she just made an assumption and started screaming, in front of this man's infant son!
We don't know the setup of the bathroom. Perhaps it was set up in a way that you can clearly see someone standing at the changing table, but the changing table itself along with the child could be hidden from view. Like fo examle, there could be a chest high wall with sinks on one side and changing table at the other so when she entered, all she saw was a guys face. Or maybe he was standing directly between her and the changing table. I don't know.
I wouldn't say she was in the wrong for screaming. I'm a woman, if I walked into the womans room and saw a man standing there, I probably wouldn't even notice the baby, or stop to say "wrong room" or something like that. My immediate response would probably be kinda hostile in the vein of "are you fucking serious, dude? What the fuck?".
@@AmyoftheFlowerField I couldn't tell you how many times I've seen women come into the Men's because "the Women's was full." No one bats an eye. Diaper change >Not wantin to wait in line.
Story 3: And THAT, friends, is why we need changing tables in the men's room. Men have kids too. Women aren't the only ones to take their kids shopping. And if they're REALLY worried about molesters do they really think a kid who needs a change would be in that bathroom ALONE????
Absolutely! Even if a place has a family restroom with a changing table, what if it’s already being used? What if the family restroom is closed or out of order? There should be changing tables/areas available in all restrooms, always.
Used to work in a pub here in the UK as a cleaner and we were one of the first at least in my town who had changing tables in the blokes bathroom as well as the ladies and this was back in the early 00's. Boss was way ahead of the times, saved many single dads and dads taking the kids out for a bottle of pop and was much appreciated as they didn't want the embarrassment either
I've walked into women's bathrooms with men using the changing station and not once felt like I had to yell. Context matters. If I see with my own eyes that the man is handling a baby/toddler in there, I can cope just fine. What kind of father would pretend to be caring for his child just to creep on women? None, I'd wager. Sexist store is sexist, but so is the notion that the man is inherently wrong for entering a women's bathroom with a changing station.
I actually have stories where my mom let me into the women's bath room when I was like 5-6 cause she wanted to guard me from perverts just in case. But I seen this several times in reverse too, a mom going with their boys into the men's room or a dad bringing their daughter to the men's room. And niether of those times will I speak up, why? They probaly have a reason.
I'm gonna have to disagree with you on the bathroom one. How many women don't know that some stores only put a changing table in the womens restroom?? That lady was overreacting like crazy, it's clear he wasn't there to bother her, but to change a child's mess. She's definitely partially in the wrong here. She should have been mad at the store for making him do that. It's not as common around here anymore but we used to see guys do that with their small children all the time. And if they were there with their like 5 year old daughter go stand in the entrance/handwash area and wait for her. If you have to determine which bathroom to take a younger child that can't be left alone into and there's no family restroom always pick the one without urinals.
While i enjoy the videos. R/slash is very clearly a liberal/feminist type that likely rocks purple hair. And his takes frequently reflect as such. A reasonable person wouldn't even consider the thought of changing a baby diaper as victimizing women.
MOst mens rooms have a changing table. It is kept in the handicap stall. They do that because they have urinals taking up wall space outside with sinks and what not.
@@samhainnc9416 “most” may be a stretch, but it’s certainly more common than it used to be. But it should be “all” - idk what the rest of them expect single fathers, fathers out alone with their kids, or families with two dads to do when their kid craps themselves in public other than use the ONE available changing table without being harassed.
3rd story: That woman is definitely an AH. She saw a man using the changing table, didn't allow him to explain himself, and tried to get him into trouble for it. She wasn't "victimized" by simply seeing a father.
In story #3, Dad is definitely not the a-hole. A better strategy, though, would have been to ask an employee to stand outside the bathroom door to tell any women going in, "Hey, we have a dad changing his son's pants in there- it's the only changing table- and we just need a few minutes."
I was sort of thinking the same thing. Co-opting an employee would've been a better strategy. He's still NTA. Screaming lady on the other hand...deserved a couple butthole points though.
I would have just changed my kid and that be that he already been sitting in poop no need to further interact with staff that clearly doesn’t care anyway
Story 3, this illustrated why changing tables are needed in men's washrooms, as well as the woman's. There so many single dads or dads that take their kids places. The store employees should also be aware that there isn't changing table in the men's room.
The employees “don’t get paid enough” to care, and the stores are being cheap and sexist. I’m honestly surprised that the women didn’t have more sympathy for the guy, and I wish he had stayed to talk with the manager (after calling his wife to come to the store too and whatnot). How could that woman be so dense as to not realize he was trying to change his baby?
@@guitarbass22 My assumption only, but maybe the changing table was on the opposite wall of the bathroom entrance so the lady who screamed only saw his back and not the baby. Again still a mindless overreaction
Story 3: I'm sorry but no, the man did not victimize that woman by using the changing table in the women's restroom. Its not like he kicked the door down while she was using the bathroom and used her lap as a changing table. Obviously the business is at fault for not having them in both rooms, but just no. That woman was fine and should have acted more civilly.
Lmao that Karen would not have survived 10 minutes in my co-ed dormitory with a single room that had showers and toilets. Male and Female students had to walk past you to get to the toilets when you were showering and most times you could see their hairy feet below the shower door XD
She could have realized that there was a BABY BEING CHANGED and acted like an empathetic human being instead of a fucking Karen. The Karen gets 3/5 AH in my opinion and the store gets the same.
Third story : people need to chill.. there are stalls with DOORS.. so noone can see it and it doesnt matter if there are men or women .. and the woman needs a score for yelling the whole time while he is having clearly a baby with an emergency
@@bigchicken5243 And as long as they do wash their hands with soap. In my country, there is usually a separate bathroom for those with mobility issues. So there is more space and it is unisex. That's also where you usually find a changing table.
@@LanaVegana no we don't. You may be fine with it, but the vast majority of men and even want privacy from the other gender while using the bathroom. Especially the young ones.
Dude props to the mom in the 4th story, she's apparently such a good mom that her son just COULD NOT WAIT to give her a really meaningful gift that he made himself and defended himself to a grown adult, awesome mom
First story: I get the feeling mil was blocking your hints, until she couldn’t anymore. Or at least I like to believe that no one can be this oblivious. Either way you tried it the nice discreet way and it didn’t work, so you have to go the blunt way.
That's the power of Karen-ism. The power to disregard all feelings and norms other than their own. They also have the ability to disregard the simplest of logic so they can try to mold the world to their own narrative.
Wife: **Complains about daughter's appearance and say the she's neglectful** Also wife: **Neglects said daughter** OP: **Cancels birthday party** Also also wife: **Surprised Pikachu Face**
My only issue with that story is that the wife set her boundaries clearly: "Does not want her stepdaughter to look like a hobo(exaggeration) on her birthday, which is a day that is supposed to be about her", and OP wanted to strongarm her into breaking her boundaries. Don't get me wrong the wife is definitiely the butthole for the gaslighting and not taking the stepdaughter to social events, though it is not said in the post whether she aggreed to OP's conditions regarding the birthday so imo OP deserves butthole score as well
@@Vordun THANK YOU! I see so many people just ignoring the fact that it was his wife’s literally birthday. OP’s wife is the butthole for lying to her husband but she has every right to dictate how her birthday night looks (including what style of dress people in attendance have to have)
@@Vordun Nah. I think it's a little unclear whether the wife is the girl's mother, or step-mother, but in either case she signed on to care for the kid. There are a lot of ways to go about "I want to have a day about me" but she decided to go the route where she directly hurts her child to preserve her ego. A parent who takes their child's side in that case is not a butthole. The problem was the wife was more concerned about her appearances than anyone's feelings. She wanted to use her daughter as a prop. If she just wanted a day focused on her she could have, say, had a party just with her adult friends, where there were no kids. She could have asked her husband not to come to her party, and to do something special with their daughter while she had the birthday she wanted. She could have stood firm and just said "No. I do not want our daughter there, and this is my day. I will not pick her up, and if you bring her we will also have problems." But maybe I'm a bit bitter because of how I was sometimes made to feel like a prop in one of my parent's life.
@@CidVeldoril She wasn't misbehaving? She was donating to charity and wearing clothes she could afford? Like, not wearing expensive clothes because you happen to not be as disgustingly vain as your mother is not misbehaving.
Story 3: RSlash don’t even say he victimized a woman.. wtf for that story judgement, you get 2/5 buttholes, the store gets 3/5 buttholes, and then Karen who came into the bathroom also gets 2/5 buttholes. That take is shallow and ridiculous. So much for equality. Hope you don’t ever end up in the same situation with your child.
Third story: “victimise women” yeah I’m going to say no, might need to calm the hell down with that wording, he was changing a diaper, probably should’ve dealt with the situation differently and the store should have a) a changing table in the men’s bathroom or b) have a baby changing room in the store
Yeah, Dabney is being a little ridiculous there. The woman was behaving poorly. Hes right the store is ultimately in the wrong for not having a changing table in the men's room, but that woman was being silly.
Nah dude. Not the butthole. This misogynistic mentality that men can't be single parents in businesses not having changing tables in the mens room is absurd. What's even weird is some do, but in the handicapped stall. Meaning handicapped people would have to sit there and wait while someone's in there just changing a dirty diaper or pull up.
@@Threadnaught You're missing my point. It's misogynistic to just assume that it's only the woman's job to take care of the kids, and thus having changing tables in the women's bathroom only, this putting fathers like op in this situation.
@@ReddoMao You're confusing the definition og misogyny for misandry. Sounds more like you have a misguided hatred for men that confuses the byproduct of misogyny, in this case, men having to use women's bathroom because that's where the changing table is, as misaqndry, where the real definition of it is more along the lines of having an intolerance and disrespect of men who don't take up a man's job/profession, i.e., a firefighter, police officer, joining the military, mechanic, roofer, etc.,or just having a general attitude against men in general, similar to being homophobic or racist. The changing table incident as examples here is a mere byproduct of the actual word of misogyny where it's expected for women to be the sole caregiver of children and the only job of men is to teach kids how to be a man and not have to do the actual work of taking care of them such as cooking, house cleaning and cleaning and bathing the child/toddler/baby.
First Story, NTA: There’s being a helicopter parent and then there’s OP’s MIL. Imagine trying to stop ur adult some from having alone time with his wife. All OP did was just bluntly say what (quite frankly) they both wanted Second Story, NTA: Oh my god OP please take ur kid and leave ur wife. I see none of Sandy’s personality came from ur wife, maybe ur wife can learn a thing or two from her. Who cares about what Sandy looks like and who cares about what other people think. OP has raised an amazing daughter and married a classist person who cares too much about her image. OP didn’t humilate his wife, she did it herself; all OP did was tell the family the reason why Sandy wasn’t coming and why the event was called off Third Story, NTA: That one employee set OP up for failure and I think they did it on purpose. Also, that lady that walked in has to be blind to not see A KID THERE but yeah that reaction is understandable. This is why all stores should have a family room or at least a changing room in the men’s bathroom Fourth Story, NTA: Honestly OP’s husband deserved to get told off. Just because he’s a cheapskate doesn’t mean everyone around him has to be one. He embarassed himself by assuming that Chris spent (keep in mind his own money) a lot of money on a gift for his mom. Like Chris said it’s his money so what he does with it is in fact none of his business Fifth Story, NTA: If I was OP I would report that new boss to HR because what he did was clear harassment on OP’s vacation. He asked if you can cover the shift and OP said no, it should’ve ended right there. It’s not OP’s problem that they are short staffed and work shouldn’t be a priority during an approved 5 day vacation. Fifth Story, Update: Oh I’m sooooo glad OP reported that guy and I find it hilarious that he called OP unprofessional but during his first week he asked OP out, the hypocrisy is insane 😂
I mean, he being there would not have stopped me and my partner, but we are Australian and sex is no where near as 'taboo' here as it seems to be in the USA
Second story: Ooh, the silent treatment. Given the obsession with appearance as well, this certainly indicates some narcissistic tendencies. OP, beware.
The store is in the wrong in story 3. Not having a changing table in the men's room is scummy. Also for story 4 and every other person we hear about saying that others "embarrassed them" theres a simple solution. Stop being such an embarrassment on your own!
Where I work, there's a changing table in the men's bathroom. And at first, I felt like it was strange that it was there. But after hearing this story, I see why. Also I'm surprised rslash said the store was sexiest towards men. Normally that's not a thing because men are privileged or some other kind of excuse as to why it's ok to be rude towards them in 2022.
Yea like I work at a fast food joint in Canada, and even we have a baby changing station at our store, like it's disgusting that they seem to think single fathers don't exist.
I mean, no one was really stopping the lady from peeing in peace. It wasn't like some strange man was being a peeping tom, he was changing his baby, if a woman went into a men's room you wouldn't say some "strange woman" was keeping you from peeing in peace
It would be weird, no doubt, but then it’s a matter of asking her why the heck she’s in here, and going from there. Not causing a scene. I guess we can only hope the woman forgot she needed to pee and pissed her pants while getting the manager…?
@in desperate need of a scotch Youre a jackass then. Ive had it where dudes went to the ladies to use the bathroom and I just ignored them. We're all human, we all need to piss and shit lmao
@@guitarbass22 Why ask a person why theyre in the bathroom? Theyre there to shit or pee, no? Thats just weird. Let them do their business. Id do the same, id just ignore the dudes that need to use the bathroom.
@in desperate need of a scotch afaik, most mens rooms have urinals without stalls, so that's a totally different situation. womens rooms have nothing out in the open aside from changing tables and sinks.
oh man i feel for the first story. my aunt has been coming to our place constantly since her own son wouldn't let her stay with him due to the wife. she's obviously lonely but she's driving me and my sister up the wall with her loud voice, literally screaming level, conversations.
Sounds like her being lonely is her own personal problem. Lol. Kick her out and tell her that unless she calls ahead and clears it with you first, she’s not allowed over. Why? Because she needs to get a life. I give your aunt a clear 2/5 buttholes for this gross invasion of privacy on her children and on you.
The third story: the woman is clearly in the wrong and you are letting her off too easy. He tried to explain why he was in there, yet she went screaming out of the bathroom without letting him speak. Also, she couldn’t figure out why he was in there through context clues? The baby on the changing table? Clearly not in there to ogle at women while the pee. NTA, but that lady is lol
My thoughts exactly. He didn’t “victimize women”. She should’ve let him explain. I understand her concern, obviously, but what was he supposed to do???
@@ron4202 I agree the store was sexist, but that person had a point. We don’t know what that woman’s experiences are. Sure, her reaction was over the top, but we just don’t have all the information to make a completely fair assessment.
It is NOT victimizing a woman to STAND in the COMMON AREA of the restroom. ONLY THE BABY WAS NAKED. The woman has 1.5/5. She over reacted to hell and back but didn’t cause any other issues. If she was uncomfortable, she can SPEAK, not scream. You really missed the mark here.
The woman has 1.5/5. IDK, I would say more like a 4/5, going that mental that quick without allowing for an explaination (she walked in, it wasnt that she was already in the room from what i gather unless wrong, either way anyway) puts her well higher, he is a dad, on his own, with a small child in a bathroom, but replace the word dad with male and you suddenly have a situation where she could say 1 wrong word and you get "child abuser" words shouted through the store. She didnt cause other issues because he fled lol. She caused such a scene he felt he had to flee.
But the baby was MALE! So there is a naked male in the women restroom! In fact, when the guy is asked he can identify as female. When the baby is asked, it only identifies as dada or googoo.
The first woman did a reasonable thing "wrong bathroom buddy". Corrects any issues, and the guy was able to quickly explain the store is sexist. If the woman going mental wanted to fix it "hey this is the women's bathroom, you shouldn't be here". Boom, fixed. Cause it could be "the men's room is broken and I was told to use this one" or in his case "the men's room doesn't have a changing table, and I needed to change my kiddo"
Last story - NTA Even before the updates, I knew OP’s boss was in the wrong. You don’t expect someone to work on their time off. What he did to OP was pure harassment and abuse of power. I’m glad OP listened to the comments urging her to report to HR about this matter. PS Good riddance to the ex-boss.
Second story: seriously? Her daughter sounds like a saint. Literally, she is doing charity work, donated her hair, and helped her friends. Wtf is wrong with me mom
The solution to the changing table thing is to ask an employee, preferably the manager, to watch the bathroom door so no one comes in. I've done that as an employee when a disabled man needed the bathroom and the men's room was out of order at the library where I work.
Exactly! But remember the employee walked away, so they didn’t give 2 s**ts. But yes, hunting down the next employee, getting the manager involved, and afterwards reporting the other employee would have definitely been the way to go.
Yes! But times have changed. I would have helped out, but now there isn't enough people. I see it the sales reps no longer have one department to watch.
Or, here’s an idea, get rid of the sex separation! It’s not needed! *Especially* if one of the two bathrooms is out of order, mark the other one as “unisex”! I was at a con this past week where they taped up “unisex bathroom” signs on all the bathrooms, and people could use either one, and it didn’t matter. My only problem with it, as a cis male, is that only one of the two had urinals for quick in-and-out. Fortunately those were marked on the signs for most of the bathrooms. And no one at the con cared one bit about it. It was lovely.
that last story sounded more like a petty man who was upset that she declined his offer to date and using his authority over her to try and make her feel bad/ harass her. but she did the right thing reporting it to hr good job getting his dumbass into trouble ^^ work place harassment isnt a joke an woulda only got worse if she let him go unchecked im sure
That's what I was thinking. Before it was mentioned that he'd asked OP out, it felt like he was jealous of the time off she was having with her boyfriend and was trying to ruin her vacation. I was not at all surprised to hear he'd asked her out.
Though I am a little suspicious that she initially left out that part about him making a pass at her. Usually, that would be one of the main things you'd highlight in a story like this because it completely recontextualizes him from a new manager who might be choking under the stress and frustration of trying get everything running smoothly, to an incel abusing his power to get back at a woman for not going out with him. I was on her side to begin with because it's his problem to deal with and him pestering her defeats the entire purpose of a vacation, but maybe the initial post got some flack from people who thought she was leaving the new guy high and dry or something, so she made that part up to make him look like a creep and get those people off her back. Of course this is just me spitballing, but it still seems weird to me that she apparently just up and forgot the one detail that made this guy look way worse than he otherwise would have.
@@limiv5272 its not against company policy, for most, to ask someone out when it get to the point of obsession or use of position to force the person to have relationships or get demoted or even fired is an issue
I’d say the only thing OP did wrong in the third story is running off without explaining. He did nothing wrong and I’m sure he avoided a huge confrontation by booking it, but that just means he might have trouble if he tries going back.
Yeah that’s what I’m concerned about, that now the lady is going to weave some crazy story like he kidnapped a baby and was diddling it in the restroom and they’re going to have to assume she’s telling the truth and report it to the police because he’s not there to explain himself or point them toward the other customer and employee who can back him up. I would be afraid to go back to that store.
An issue easily solved by calling the place and shifting blame to the disrespectful and negligent employee. She failed to properly help and ran from the situation the moment there was an opportunity which then lead to conflict between customers
I do agree that by essentially running away he did make himself look guilty. There's no telling what kind of story the screaming lady made up about what she saw, since clearly seeing a man changing a child is pervert behavior in her book. I think in some states it could even result in him getting fined, and on camera they'll just see him hauling ass outta there.
Rslash, OP didn't "victimize" women by taking care of his child just because he had to do it in a bathroom labeled for women- one lady already got it and sympathized, another acting poorly in response, and even *way* out of proportion in my opinion, is not a proper reflection of OP's actions
Thats what im saying. This is pure entitlement behavior. Victimizing requires more than simply existing next to someone, you have to do something to them. This woman thinks she gets to control who she gets to piss next to in all situations, which is completely unreasonable in a public restroom
The lady in the third story is definitely an AH for overreacting, it’s no different from someone making a big deal over a mother breastfeeding her child in public.
Your additional comment isn’t relevant, it’s not like OP was flaunting around and screaming out “I’m in the women’s bathroom, I’m in the women’s bathroom!” He just quickly changed his child’s diaper and left as soon as he could
Not sure why the husband in 1st story got a butthole score since he was hinting for the mom to leave as well. 3rd story, how can rslash say op is victimising women and follow that with a 0/5 butthole score? If Dabney truly does believe op was victimising that woman and gave him a 0/5 , does that mean he agrees with doing this? That women should be victimised, since he declared the man did nothing wrong and wasn't a butthole?
@@mariposa9506 "..they're the ones who should have installed a baby changing station in the men's room, but they didn't and the only way for you to get around that is to essentially VICTIMISE WOMEN and make them feel uncomfortable by going into their room." Yes, rSlash did in fact imply that a man existing, victimises women.
Story 4; OP should be proud of her son and the company he keeps! Seems like a nice hardworking young man! He’s a generous guy who stands up for family, not the butt hole. Nor is OP, but stepdad gets two out of five from me.
The guy in the bathroom wasn't 'victimizing women' by being in there. its a damn bathroom and he was cleaning up his kid. Horrible take, Rslash. This is why the world just needs coed bathrooms.
All the times if seen a woman slip into the men's bathroom because when things get busy women's bathrooms always have a huge line compared to the men's for reasons I still don't understand. Nobody ever complained or even said anything.
@@nicholasfarrell5981 Yes, that is an option, but the fact that we have to have two seperate rooms just to relieve our body of natural functions and one cannot go in the other because of how they present is stupid at best.
Raven - The women’s room backs up because the women’s room only has stalls, while the men’s has both stalls and urinals. Urinals you can just walk up to, quickly do your business, then leave, without touching any part of the thing even. Stalls require you to close the door, sit down, do your business, stand and put your stuff back in order, then leave; the sitting part in particular can take a while if someone is particularly not keen on sitting on the thing with their bare butt and thus need to do things like cover the seat somehow, all of which takes extra time. Even if one uses a stall standing to pee, it’s still longer to use compared to a urinal just because of the door. That’s why the women’s side always backs up.
Story 1: There's no way MIL didn't know what she was doing. Clearly she wasn't a fan of OP and didn't think she was good enough for her son so she opted to clam jam her. I like that OP had the confidence to just straight up tell MIL that she was going to bang MIL's son whether she was there or not. Sometimes people need a hard kick in the butt in order to process reality.
*First OP:* Nine days? _Nine days_ !? OP is NTA; she's a saint! *Second OP:* I've read this story before. Depending on what Sandy wore, OP is NTA. If Sandy wore rags, then I can understand OP's wife. If she wore a nice dress she bought from a thrift store then OP's wife is in the wrong. *Third OP:* Possible controversial opinion, but I'm gonna say NAH. OP _could've_ asked an employee if it was okay to use the lady's room to change his son's diaper, but other than that, no harm, no foul. Also, the employee OP did ask could've been a better help, but my point still stands. I also agree about changing the diaper where customers can see to make a point. But that's me being petty. 😛 *Fourth OP:* Shoutout to OP's son for being a good kid (and a great craftsman). All he did was tell Chris the truth. Chris didn't want to give OP nice gifts, so OP's son will. OP is NTA, and I'm glad she and her son have such a good relationship. That seems rare on AITA. *Fifth OP:* _Reads title_ Nope, NTA. _Reads that OP's boss is a new hire_ Definitely NTA. Maybe OP _should_ report her boss for harassment? I don't know. I'm just glad OP didn't let this continue for nine days like the first OP 😛 *Fifth OP Update:* And there ya go. Best of luck to OP and her boyfriend.
Either way, the wife is still the AH because she didn’t have to make someone cry over it. It’s about scale and reason with response to fault just as much as generally knowing who is at fault or otherwise.
the thing about thrift stores and second hand stores at least the majority i went they have decent clothes and some are brand name clothes, and those "rags" are people who thinks that going on these kind of store are people who think is beneath them or is some kind of snob that only the plebs buy in those stores
@@mostar1219 Have you ever actually been to the stores themselves? Goodwill is not all rags, you can actually find nice stuff there if you look. Just because it's cheap doesn't equal poor quality. There's some stuff there that yeah, it's banged up and not worth a purchase, but look hard enough and you can find things with the tags and find newer barely used clothes. I once found a beautiful flowy knee length dress with a floral pattern that had never been worn or perhaps had been worn only a handful of times and still had the original tag(which mind you would be uncomfortable to wear lol). Only reason I couldn't get it was because it wasn't my size.
Having had the "Ladies' Room Problem" myself, I can tell what I did. I got a woman to volunteer to 1. check the ladies' room and make sure it was empty. 2. stand guard outside the ladies' room until I was done. Problem SOLVED.
At the very least open the door a little and call out “I’m sorry, I’ve got to use the changing table to change my baby” and when you hear the door open say something straight away. I can understand the second woman being surprised but she jumped to the wrong conclusion and really should have taken in the full picture
Story 3 is just ridiculous, the guy was changing his baby. He's not in there looking over stalls or flashing his rooster. I go to a lot of metal shows and sometimes you find a dude washing his hands in the ladies room, unless a person is being lewd or harmful just gotta mind your business.
that store is seriously messed up for not having a changing table available for dads, but OP didn't "victimize" women, the lady didn't see OP very obviously changing a diaper and screams at him? that seems like an overreaction
Rslash once again showing his bias for women in story 3. The woman who freaked out absolutely did something wrong. If it's not okay for the store to be sexist towards men, why is it okay for individual people to be sexist towards men? The mom, sister, and interloping woman all can't see past the sexist assumption of "man in women's room, must be up to no good."
Wow, the son in story 4 sounds amazing! He has two jobs and made this for his mum?! The only reason the stepfather is embarrassed is his own fault. 1) because he can't seem to appreciate his wife or listen to her about what gift she likes. 2) because he should not stay silent as response, but say something like: "Okay, you're right, I'm sorry. I'm really impressed you did all of that by yourself. Thats a very nice gift. 3) he's not embarrassed because the son said that, he's embarrassed because the son gives his mother nice gifts and he doesn't. 4) he's clearly over the top with that level of "frugal" and "practical". Frugal has no use to you if you can't enjoy anything in life, ever.
The dad in the third story is doing nothing remotely close to “victimizing women” by being in their restroom. He’s just using the only resource available, since the store didn’t have changing tables in the mens restrooms when they should’ve. Victimizing is singling someone out for cruel and unjust treatment, so technically the only victim here is OP. He just needed to change his baby’s diaper. Horrible take, RSLASH.
"Victimize women" Dude, what is wrong with you... It's completely reasonable and natural even for men to use facilities for babies if those are in the ladies' rooms. There are no victims here.
@@kemcolian2001 Oh no, it found the words "the only way for you to get around that was to essentially victimize women and make them uncomfortable." It definitely found the words. "A man existing victimizes women everywhere." - The rSlash Bible.
Last story: I would not have signed that write-up. Absolutely report him. Your work cannot MAKE you stay. Period. Even if you didn't have plans, even if you didn't have approved vacation time, your job can NOT force you to stay at work. And your boss can NOT write you up for ignoring him while you were on vacation. That's something HR should readily back you up on.
8:29 uh I have to disagree here he was in the middle of changing a diaper her freaking out shouting when someone is visually doing something that can't be stopped and they're trying to explain while you continue to shout means you're kinda in the wrong
First story: nine days? Let them have some intimacy. Jeeze. Second story: wife sounds like a pretentious snob, straight up! Third story: bruh! OP just wanted to change a poopy diaper. He’s not an ass. I’d be confused but then get over it. Forth story: I though OP’s son was sweet and the hubby was an butthole for being that way. Fifth story: they called for that vacay time ahead of time and they were also tired. Dude. The boss asked them out on top of that. Oops.
I disagree partially with the second story. It’s her birthday. She’s allowed to have a dress code for who comes to the dinner/party. Buy thrift clothes all you want (I do). But you can’t not have a few nice pieces of clothing for events where people want you to dress nicely.
@@selfboredom3025 But if the mother could tell they’re from a thrift store, odds are they weren’t “really nice.” I’m not saying you can’t get nice stuff from a thrift store but when you get really nice clothing from a thrift store, people usually can’t tell.
The son in the 4th story almost brought a tear to my eye. He and his friends were chuckling because they knew she was going to love it and were excited to see her reaction
Yeah, I just figured they were chuckling cause they're like "bro, this is such a girly thing you had us do." And he's like "but moms gonna love it. Thanks guys." Ya know? I can see some teen boys being giddy over it.
The only issue I have with the father changing his son's diaper is that he ran. In my opinion he should have stayed when flagged down make scene out of it. like go full out Karen on them if needed. (Karens use your powers for good). running made him look like a weirdo when he had a very good reason to be in the lady's room; using the changing table.
Story 3 I'm gonna say the woman freaking out was actually in the wrong, and obviously the store too. If you walk into a restroom and see a man with a child, very clearly changing said child, and your immediate thought is "Creepy man in the restroom!!" then it is actually you that has problems. All she had to do was step out for a sec and wait.
I can really relate to the last story. I’m a security contractor and my boss literally texts and calls me on every one of my days off. And when I do come in, he threatens to take away my hours. Which he’s done. Several times. In fact, I worked on both my days off this week. And does it all last minute. Like an hour before they need someone of the night before. I’ve been gathering evidence against him. And I intend to tell my ceo everything before putting my two weeks in
Third story, the woman was the AH for sure. Being hysterical because she saw a man who was clearly tending to a baby was ridiculous. If she was that bothered she could wait until he was done.
Story 4: NTA; honestly, the son's gift is practical, it's a way to store and display things in the home. And yeah, the husband has a stick up his ass, WTF is wrong with him that he can NEVER buy something "sentimental" for his wife?
As much as you shouldn't use a bathroom that is not meant for you, sometimes you just have to use it, this is one of those times. And to be fair since it's the woman's bathroom they do have stalls and the likelihood of you actually seeing anything is probably very low, at least in the men's room there's a urinals and if someone really wanted to look they might be able to see something and that could cause some uncomfortability.
@@sheeptasticSeb I assume this is a hyperbole, have never seen anything resembling that, I mean sure there's a maybe two centimeter slit the length of the door, but that's just how those doors are made. Also I don't remember rulings but with transgender representation I don't think they can force someone to use a specific bathroom, so as long as OP wasn't creeping around, then he technically it shouldn't really be a problem, also it was a legit emergency which would make it not a problem.
@@Shadowgod1000 No, he/she is not kidding, you can literally stick your arm and head underneath a stall door here in the US. Though, that doesn't justify the ladies reaction, she should've calmed down and assed the situation. Not flip out.
@@pupperpalace9889 oh you meant underneath, also I live in the states. I mean sure you could do that but anyone would probably just kick you in the freaking face, if someone did that me while I'm in the stall I would kick them in the freaking face and if it move I would kick them again.
That last story reminds me of when I used to work for the Colonel of Kentucky, my friend had just turned 21 and we were all going out that night. I was asked to stay late and I said no sorry, I have plans. And after that I basically got treated something someone had stepped in
Guy in the women's room - BRO. You were in the right but you made it soooo bad by taking off like you did. You could have just explained yourself. You literally did nothing wrong.
With the shitty employs and no changing station in the guys restroom, do you think op would have been okay?? Pretty sure the store owner is sexist and would have demonized op. Maybe op did the right thing.
Honestly, I think if he stayed, it only would have gotten worse. And tbh, if there’s consequences for him using the changing table, that’s lawsuit material, imo.
@@ron4202 I mean there's a medium between letting yourself get run over by the management and just flying out of there like you were doing something sketchy. Easily could have explained the situation and bounced if the manager started going off or something.
@@Tustin2121 I just think he could have quickly explained himself to both the woman and the manager. If they continued with some BS he could have easily left at that point. If I heard a woman yelling at a guy to get out of the women's bathroom then he took off running out of the store without his stuff I would immediately think he was doing something weird with the kid, because that's exactly what it looks like. 30 seconds of "Hey, I was changing my son and there's not a changing bench in the men's room" could really clear some stuff up. Also how much do you want to bet the changing bench was in the handicapped stall and OP just never looked?
Honestly, I've always thought that men's rooms should also have changing tables because what of single dads? Stay-at-home dads? Male homosexual couple with children? Uncle watching niece/nephew? Male babysitter?
In my 4+ years at my current job, I’ve only been contacted once while on vacation and it was something really important that only I could answer. My boss was very apologetic. With Covid, we’ve ended up in situations where multiple people ended up in quarantine while multiple people were on leave and the rest of us just sucked it up. Not one of us even considered asking someone to cut their leave short or anything like that. That’s how it should be. I’m glad that boss became an ex
An hour away is nothing. That’s close to my daily commute to work. Lol. But seriously. The bigger question is why she insisted on being with her son and DIL constantly. Why not spend a few days hanging out with your son one on one and then let him get back to his family? Like stop being selfish.
I think it’s kind of unfair to give OP’s husband in the first story a 2/5 score. OP mentioned he wasn’t exactly comfortable with his mother being there either and he didn’t call OP a butthole for saying what she did. OP was just the one to snap first. He probably would have too.
@@jigsaw2036 he decided he's the perfect husband and father so in these stories every boyfriend or husband is already wrong becuase they are less the rslashs perfect standards
Story 3: this really is a NAH situation, this feels like r/assholedesign, the store desided to make a changing table exclusively for women, and the employees were no help, the reason I believe it's r/assholedesign and not r/crappydesign is because it was intentional to have it like that
Story 3: I have to disagree with Rslash. How was she victimized? Nothing happened to her. She saw dude with his kid changing his poopy bottom. If she took a second without flipping out, the realization would dawn on her. People really need to stop throwing the word around when no one was victim.
Haven't you seen enough of its content to realize that rSlash hates men and even when they're the victims, it'll just find a way to blame them for forcing women to victimize them?
@@LaineMann op and her husband gave the mother in law hints and said other things but the mnl couldn't get it through her head that she needed to leave
On the changing table story, the woman who screamed at OP was definitely in the wrong. Yes, she has a reasonable expectation of not seeing random dudes in the ladies room in public, but when it's a guy clearly changing a child's diaper you don't need to scream. I can get behind yelling in surprise because of course you don't expect to walk in to that, but get an employee really quick, or ask the guy what he's doing in there. Better yet, take stock of his actions, and notice he's changing his child's diaper, so there's no problem. Complain to management and corporate that men with babies have to use the changing table in the ladies room and there's a need for accommodation here. Then you can move on! She was not okay screaming at him. He should have stayed to explain the issue to management and why he did this. He could be in trouble next time he goes there because he didn't explain himself. He still wasn't in the wrong perse.
6:15 not to mention that she's been gaslighting OP for a while, that "it's all in your head" BS is a good example that she's been excluding his daughter for a while because apparently she looks like a peasant, and she (the daughter) is upset because her mom doesn't respect her path of generosity, and feel as if her mom doesn't love her for the way she is
I used to be bad at shopping for gifts when I was younger until I figured out how to be the perfect gift giver. Whenever my wife mentions anything that she likes or wants, no matter how small or what time of the year she mentions it, I make a note to myself of it. By the time her birthday or our anniversary or Christmas comes up I've got a nice list of things I know she'll love. She's always amazed at how perfect I am at picking gifts for her. When she brought whatever it was up she never made a big deal about it so by the time comes to give her the gift she had forgotten mentioning it but knew it was something she wanted. Scores me tons of brownie points LOL
Story 2: I don't see how Sandy just having thrift clothing would make her look neglected. It would've been obvious that she wasn't by just talking to her.
Maybe she was wearing ill fitting ratty clothes. You can get nice clothes from thrift shops, but maybe daughter was wearing bummy looking ones instead, and didn't want to dress appropriately for the restaurant. In that case wife might be justified. Idk if that happened, but it's at least possible.
Story 4: Everyone has different views on handling money, but you can't force yours on other people. The most you can do is just give advice, and not in a condescending or passive-aggressive way
First story: Absolutely NTA. But could’ve been better worded Like maybe trying “we’d really like to give you a grandchild but it’s a little hard if you won’t give us the space to do the deed…..” or something to that effect
Maybe they don't want children? An hour away is nothing. I've lived that far from my parents, I have a sibling a good 8 hours away. With an hour of travel, you either stay for just a day or help out in the home.
No. Women do not become victimized just because they saw a dude in the women’s bathroom. We’re a hardier lot than that. Any sane woman is going to walk in, see the situation and be like: whatcha doin? Oh. Perfectly reasonable. Carry on.
Last story, considering the Boss asked OP out but got denied, I slightly bet he specifically chose OP on purpose to either get back at her or trying to sabotage her relationship with her boyfriend, just my thoughts. entitled bosses tend to have massive egos like that.
On the last story, I think you were too lenient with the boss' butthole score. It seemed pretty clear he was only doing this as a way of messing with OP and her bf, trying to deny them their time together, and it was retaliation/butthurt over OP refusing to go out with him. I would've put the butthole score at 3 or 3.5; someone like that doesn't deserve to be in management ever again.
Boss: "I know we already agreed that you'd have this time off, but we need you to work an extra shift or you aren't being a team player." Me: "Oh no!" [Packs up my things] "I'm so shameful!" [Walks out the door backwards] "However will I live with myself?"
Story 1: she’s the mil??!! Then she KNOWS that you’re a couple!! Your husband should’ve established that with his mother! Should’ve told her to come the last couple of days, if that’s the case. But not monopolize ALL the time! Damn!💯🤦🏽♀️😡
1st op: NTA. U tried to be subtle. U tried not so subtle. She forced ur hand. Also, maybe it's just bcuz of where I live but an hour drive doesn't seem that bad for the mother.
Regarding the story about the changing table: You confront restore. You go up to the conversation, explain to the store that because they didn't have a changing table in the men's room you had to use the women's room. If they have a problem with that then you say I'm sorry you aren't providing equitable bathrooms. The other option is to confront the store by not using the restroom and just changing poopy diaper anywhere you want to. As a father, I've done the latter several times.
I once saw a guy exiting the stall in women's bathroom with a toddler (a boy). I didn't feel victimized, but annoyed, because line for women's bathroom is already long. Honestly, I could care less if fathers took their kids there, but we need more space then, lol.
The first story: I think something is going on at home for MIL that made her extend her stay. It sounds like this isn't usual behaviour, so I'd get hubby to check up on his mom to see if everything is okay.
Or she could just be one of those MIL who can’t comprehend that their grown and married son isn’t their little baby anymore and has another woman to dote on and care for. There’s a lot of those on this subreddit
yeah, I'm not sure about the AH rating for the son/husband, very little was said about him except that he was also hinting, no mention of him being upset that OP was blunt or siding with his mum in any way.
@@Hybrid301 I think it would have been mentioned if it was a regular occurrence. I would expect it to happen at the beginning of a marriage, but it seems like this couple has been married for at least a couple years.
The dude who changed his babies diaper in the women's bathroom isn't in the wrong. But he didn't "make the best out of a bad situation" either. He made himself look sketchy but rushing out, leaving his stuff and ignoring the employee. Now you look suspicious and like you were being a creep. If you would stayed and held your ground and explained I think the situation would've looked and ended alot better.
Diaper guy didn’t do anything wrong, but he should have stuck around and explained to the store employee that he went in the womens room because of their failure
First story I’m blunt as hell being former military, my dad is the handy man of the family, I asked him to help me to realign the queen size bed I have with my wife with me because it makes a weird sound, my wife and my mum blushed heaps, weeks later my wife said you shouldn’t have worded it like that🤣
First story: "My husband and I... Me and my husband... Husband..." Rslash: "ThAt HuSbAnD rEaLlY sHoUlD'vE sPoKeN uP!" He absolutely did. How are you this wrong this often?
I’m seeing a long distance girlfriend in a few weeks after being apart for months and I’ll be damned if ‘passionate hugging’ doesn’t happen in the first day. My parents can kick rocks. Lmao
Story 5: NTA; the boss is the one who isn't a team player because once no one else could cover the shift, he's the one who's supposed to step up, and the only unprofessional one here.
Classic RSlash response. Husband is barely mentioned. 2/5 Butthole score. I get what he’s saying, but the husband isn’t the one being judged here, so why would OP need to include evidence to show he wasn’t a butthole? For all we know, he’s been supportive of his wife, and trying to get his mother to leave, but is unable to because he is ultimately trying to keep the peace? I just don’t like to see butthole scores given based on no evidence for or against whatsoever. It’s part of the reason why I don’t listen to AItAH much anymore.
The last story really grinds my gears. As a manager if you can’t fill a shift then you should always be the one to back up your employees. You’re a leader for a reason and you lead from the front not the back. I always tell my employees that if they want to fill a shift there’s overtime for it, but other than that I’m taking it. Take care of your employees and give them the ability to improve and win in life. Really it should be everyone, and one day you’ll get the same treatment.
