@@Wolfie713 no, I think it was more of a last Chance. Because If they were friends as long as op said they were, then there were multiple chances long before the boyfriend first showed up. The thing is this guy was a coward who couldn't say anything sooner and had to have this whole orchestration Just to have A last chance. I have nothing against shy people or people who have a hard time asking people out, and I don't even have a problem with wingmen and wing women, But breaking someone up via a lie Is crossing the line no matter what the reason.
@@arrow9182 I'm not disagreeing with how awful they were to do that, just that if they hadn't dated before, then it was his first chance. Btw nice job upvoting your own comment.
Straight up evil to willingly screw over your kid like that. Growing up I watched my mom struggle with debts so I've done all I can to avoid it, it's a serious fear of mine.
Last story: I feel like I actually remember a story were the mother died in child-birth and the father was taking it out on said child. And the kid decided to clap back with a comment of "YOU knocked her up, so in a way YOU killed her" and the father just completely shut down. If you think getting your wife pregnant is going to kill her, then I'd argue you were the one to kill her.
I’ve always hated it when one parent dies in childbirth and the other takes it out on the child who NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN. Like that’s your kid man, you chose to bring them into this world, they didn’t.
@@doodlethealien8889 And especially because that child is the last thing you have of your spouse. AND do you think your spouse would want you abusing the child they died for? It's like disrespecting them.
@@BILLCIPHER8 EXACTLY 😭 like I’d hate for my child to be treated poorly by their other parent if I were to die bringing them into the world. That’s the last of me they have and a child in that scenario is what we wanted.
@@doodlethealien8889 YES. Plus I would be so angry and disappointed in my partner for treating my child badly. It's just an awful situation all around :(
Story 2 - Man I want to say this. Its incredibly obvious to me based on these posts why her boyfriend took her back so easily. She had the perfect opportunity to blow off the responsibility for this onto her friends. But in her email she didnt blame anyone except herself. She also publicly called them out on facebook apparently and fully cut them off. Taking responsibility for what happened is such a massive green flag that it's nuts. Well done on OP for being a top of the line person and if she keeps that up then she 100% will end up with a ring. Good for her and her boyfriend I wish them the best.
I can't fathom how people are like "I'd never take them back." But if it was one, maybe two people against the bf, then I'm sure she would have not questioned it at all. But an ENTIRE group of people said yes. That is a LOT of yes's compared to no's. I feel bad for her, but if I was in the same boat, I hate to say it, majority wins, even if I don't want to believe them. She took responsibility, took the correct actions, and made it known that he didn't have to even read the message, that she'd understand. Sounds like a good person to me.
I still have some reservations based on OP's post about him but not much. Getting physical and punching a wall are both massive red flags but the situation was really extreme. Edit : It seems I need to clarify, normally those actions would be massive red flags as their indicators for domestic violence but given the extreme nature of the situation, I don't think it's a big deal.
@@unknowngamer37415- For the record, the post said he *nearly* punched the wall, not that he did. He probably like balled up his fists in anger and stuff, and she interpreted it as him wanting to punch a wall. He didn’t actually do so.
@@unknowngamer37415 Honestly, if I was accused by so many randoms of doing something awful to my SO that I know I didn't do and I had no ways to prove others wrong, I would also want to break stuff in a desperate attempt to shut anyone's up and escape that lie. But compared to Josh, I dunno how I would react if said SO would reach out and apologize. I'd probably be so fucked up and filled with trust issues to the point I wouldn't try to date people anymore.
Yup. Some parents don’t see their kids as people, but retirement investment. Source: my grandmother was like this to all her kids and grandkids, and now she’s bitter and all but completely alone as she deserves
Yeah the more friends I made the more I realized my parents were rare in how little they laid claim to me, they even gave me my portion of my tax return from them claiming me once I started making money
For the first story I want to point something out for all those who see this comment. If you have a similar situation where the debt that a company is attempting to collect, is not yours, and was put there by fraudulent means never ever ever ever put any sort of payment towards it. Once you have put any sort of payment towards it you can no longer deny the debt is not yours and are now on the hook for it. They can threaten to sue all they want but they have no legal grounds especially if you have a police report.
Exactly, they aren't the bank or any kind of licensed legal firm, they're 3rd party companies who only care about the debt being paid and will say and do anything to get it done regardless of the law.
THIS!!! THANK YOU!!!!! If you acknowledge the debt in _any way possible,_ they _WILL_ see it as you confirming that the debt is YOURS. _DO _*_NOT_*_ PAY THEM A SINGLE CENT!_ They are BANKING on their customers not knowing their rights as a consumer! Show them you are *NOT* an idiot, and then inform them calmly but _FIRMLY_ that you _contest the debt._ Then give them the personal information of the person that stole from you, along with any other evidence of their theft & fraud. Once you officially contest the debt, they have to re-investigate from the very beginning. But _of course_ they won't find anything. As per usual.
So true. When I married I tried to negotiate with the bank holding my spouse's student debt and they tried the same thing. If I had made a single payment I would have been on the hook, folks! I offered to pay the principal, which amounted to thirty thousand dolars and they tried to tell me they could put a lien on the house I has inherited from my grandmother, which is totally untrue. In Canada if a student debtor does not make a payment for a period of time (it was five years back then, but may have changed) they can declare bankruptcy and be discharged. A single payment restarts the clock. My partner declared bankruptcy and escaped the debt entirely, so the bank played hardball and lost everything. Further, there was a petty revenge story on reddit a few years ago about an ex who deliberately made small payments on her deadbeat husband's student loans for that very reason. I think that was in the USA. Either way, one should check local laws before ever making a payment onsomeone else's debt. Always remember that debt collectors lie like a Trump!
Yeah, the whole "we gonna sue you if you don't pay" was obviously a way to get OP on the hook, because I doubt they would actually sue OP if they didn't accepted to make the 'goodwill payment', and if they did anyways... well a judge would rip the lawsuit on their lawyers' faces and rip them a new one for doing a fraudulent lawsuit; They knew if they sued OP by refusing the bs payment they would be the ones in legal trouble, not OP. They probably banked on OP falling for their hollow ultimatum and getting into actual legal trouble they could collect.
Just an FYI, illegal eviction is not a civil matter and police shouldhave intervened. It’s very sad to see cops being too lazy to do their fucking job. If that ever happens to you, look up the law and pointed to their face and demand that they help you enter your residence instead of sending you on your way without doing their job.
Yeah that isn't true in every state or country. It's a pretty debatable law in general since there are obvious reason why a sudden eviction might be necessary, but they also can easily be used to screw over perfectly good people.
I actually have to fill a police report today for 2050 (Only 1500 of it i need to worry about) However, if the check doesn't bounce (Which i suspect it will) then nothing to worry about.
@@lordshaxx4693 yeah i know. But living on less than 20 bucks a month. Sounded too good to be true. So i jumped on it. I wished my red flags shot up quicker. I mean my first flag should have been a start location the actual location. My next should have been money hidden in a trash can. The third should hav never meting the guy, my forth shiuld have been withdrawing 1500, my fifth should have been putting that 1500 into crypto. It wasnt unttil he asked "do you want to make another 1500 tonight" did i realize that i fucked up.
last story, the thing that blows my mind is that the (ex)FIL was expressly trying to FORBID the use of an epidural. its not just about pain relief: lower stress levels can increase the chance of survival. i think exFIL was plotting something tbh.
My mother did the exact same thing to me. Kicked me out at 16, and then a couple years later as I started getting my life together and tried to get a car for a job I had, I found out my credit score was in the 300s. Credit cards, utility bills, two cars. She went insane with my ssn. It took me a few years to get most of it off, but some of those collection agencies just don’t care about doing the right thing, even with a police report.
I remember the last story! People in the comments begged her to check if her ex-husband got life insurance policies for her without her knowledge cuz everything sounded like father and son were ready to do something to OP after the baby was born
So creepy. It really does sound like they've already pre-written a script of the (tragic) post-birth life and just cast any sufficiently suitable woman in it, ready on standby with a 'helpful nudge' in anything goes not according to plan. And not just a misunderstanding and people being stupid, not seeing past the shared trauma bubble.
Story number 2 I've had friends who dealt with stuff like this. Her solution was to ask about the photo that they all saw. Describe the color of her hair the pose that she was in the story that he told. The picture they all tried to describe were different and did not exist
What awful people. I'm so happy her boyfriend forgave her, it would be understandable if he wanted to move on instead but as Rslash said, it's also understandable to think you can trust the entire friend group you've had since highschool. It's such a messy situation to be in because everyone involved is someone you thought you could trust, you know SOMEONE is lying and figuring out who is a crap shoot. You don't want to believe your SO broke trust but you also don't want to believe your friends are conspiring against your relationship but you're also inclined to believe the numbers.
The last story: It sounds like the ex and his father would try to kill Op if she didn't die at child birth. I wouldn't be supprised that when the ex was going to his father, they were ploting a way to kill Op without making it look like a murder if she didn't die at child birth.
With that theory I’d wager the father projecting onto his son that if he didn’t get to have his wife after the baby was born then his son shouldn’t either. That any alternative was unreasonable to reality because it’s the only way to justify his wife dying. But that’s just a theory...
Story 3: “Trust me, he has a commanding presence and he will get his way in the delivery room.” Oh honey, bless your heart! The moment he causes a ruckus his ass would be out of that room. You and the baby take precedent and the nurses and doctors will not give a flying fiddle what comes out of his mouth. Period. That man-child would be put in his place pronto.
Hell, I worked in an ER and the LD nurses scared us, lol. They straight up called the cops on folks who made a stink in their lobby. Since it was overnights and LD was upstairs from us (great set up by the way, we were able to get patients into LD incredibly fast, which meant I didn't have to deal with the lady who started crowning on the elevator since they got her on a bed as soon as the doors opened.), we got to see cops run through our lobby for LD more than once.
isn't it also illegal for the FIL to make medical decisions on OP's behalf too? my understanding goes its you, then your spouse, then your parents by default and then after that you have to have it in writing for someone else to make those decisions and you can even remove your spouse and parents if you want. also you have to be unable to make decisions, such as being unconscious, before medical staff start talking to your emergency contacts.
“Trust me, you haven’t met this man” Well, OP, the labor and delivery nurses have. And worse. Just make it clear, FIL is NOT allowed in under any circumstances and he will not be in there.
@@NiennaFan1 it's pretty illegal to allow uninvited people into hospital rooms. They're not even allowed to confirm or deny if a patient is in the hospital if they haven't given clear permission. If the FIL made it in there, the OP could have sued the hospital.
I’m thinking the ex-father in law in the last story wanted to have a shared trauma bond with his son. Of course it’s fine to be ready for anything, of course it’s expected to be paranoid after the ex’s mom died of childbirth, but it’s not normal to expect it to all go to the worse case scenario.
About the story "too worried": The husband and FIL never once brought up how much thier going to miss op or that they love her amd want her to see doctors to ensure everything is OK. They DID ask her to update her life insurance and ear mark the stuff she wanted her daughter to have. Is that sus to anyone else?
I noticed that too. I feel like if they really thought that she was going to die, they should have tried to make the pregnancy as easy on The Wife as possible to lower the chances of anything happening. But no, instead they push it down her throat that she’s going to die. It almost felt like they were trying to stress her out in the hopes that he would cause complications. I would be stressed out too if all you hear is you’re gonna die on this day. Although I probably would have left the minute that stuff started terrified that in the future that they were going to try to kill me.
Story 1: I heard of trashy parents, but putting your own son into debt is one of the scummiest things you can ever do. Just because their parents did it to them when they were OP'S age, doesn't mean it makes it okay! These "parents" deserved to have the cops called on, they literally committed identity theft, credit card fraud, and unlawful eviction. Jesus.
So like.. In the last story.. If they were so scared she would die from giving birth, wouldn't you want her to feel a little less pain via an epidural or laughing gas? Isn't that supposed to help make it easier to give birth and if something were to happen, it would be easier for the EDUCATED PROFESSIONALS WHO ARE LITERALLY STANDING BY TO HELP do their job? Its good she's divorcing that dude. He is beyond corrupt on that front and honestly, I wouldn't want my daughter near him either.
Story 2: Maaan…at least they ended up together in the end. My only question is how did the forner “friends” react when Op cut them off? What awful people
Story 1: "My own mom did this to me" and instead of breaking the cycle of financial abuse, you continue it- gosh. At least OP did a great move by not telling his parents about the police report. As Rslash mentioned, they didn't told OP about the credit card. Not only that, BUT the mom was actively getting the mail before OP could see it. Meaning if the mail hadn't come earlier that day, he would still be in the dark about the whole thing. Story 2: WOW- that friend group is atrocious- IMAGE breaking a couple just so you could get your friend laid- gosh-
OP, "We're back together and its great because I have no trust issues!". Completely ignoring the fact he probably has trust issues because she didnt believe him
@@DopeioThePhoneBoi While her actions are understandable to a degree, hard to believe friends like that didn't have previous red flags after all, it still hurt the boyfriend. He did nothing wrong but was still betrayed, even if she had a valid reason to doubt it its completely understandable he'd have trust issues over that.
He may have trust issues for sure. Hopefully he can overcome them. For me, I think my trust issues would be whether she trusts me and will believe me so the fact that she seems to may ease his own insecurities a bit :-) I hope it works out well for them and those “friends” should feel guilty for life.
That last op needs to be careful about her ex trying to kidnap her kid or even worse. Her ex FIL is a controlling narcissist that will kill if pressured
Never take bankruptcy lightly. Your credit is important for many things aside from home ownership. Having a good credit score means you get better interest rates on car loans, credit card offers (24 months of 0% APR followed by 7% APR can be so helpful vs a 30%+), financing furniture like a couch at 0% APR. Getting approval for a rental property, a background check for a job. High interest keeps you treading debt instead of being able to pay things off and a bankruptcy can harm your future career options. The mindset behind what his parents did is so messed up
Also do not make a good faith payment for a debt that isn’t yours! They can use that as your acknowledgment that you owe it Edit: Also, if the debt *is* yours, still don’t make a “good faith payment” (that’s just a manipulation tactic). You are agreeing to pay the total owed by doing so. Instead negotiate a lower payment in full. Any payment no matter how small also restarts the statute of limitations for the debt
You shouldn't be financing a car or furniture, and interest rates on credit cards shouldn't matter because you should always pay them off in full each month so you never pay interest. If you follow some basic rules like budgeting and keeping an emergency fund you'll never need to worry about interest rates until you buy a house. I do agree, however, that bankruptcy is a big deal and should be avoided.
These parents seem convinced that filing for bankruptcy is a magic reset button and they're gaming the system. He needs to cut them out fast before they try to get him to buy NFTs, they're entirely financially illiterate.
@@Dog_in_treesure, but there are ways to use 0% interest loans in your favor. For instance, you need to spend 15k on an hvac system in your home. You put it on a card at 0% APR for 24 months. You put the 15k you could have spent up front in a high yield savings account making 5%. After 24 months you made money instead of paying interest or losing that interest you could have made. Credit cards can be dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing, but they can also be used in your favor. Not everyone wants to drop 3k on a mattress up front. It’s okay to spend $250/month for a year accruing no interest while utilizing your savings to make money in other investment accounts. But basically yeah, having bad credit keeps you poor and having good credit gives you opportunities to make more money.
And that they still wanted to max out the rest of the cards in the meantime! For the record OP did NOT get their parents arrested. They got THEMSELVES arrested. And they deserve every bit of whatever they get. It’s bad enough when strangers steal your identity but your own parents??
Story 3: I think OP’s father in law started the insinuations she’d die too AFTER she was already pregnant. So it really wouldn’t be weighing on his mind so heavily before hand. At least that’s my guess
She's delulu if she thinks they can co parent, and have it where the FIL doesn't ever meet her. Her ex will 100% allow them to meet and spend time together without her knowledge. She needs to fight for supervised visitation or sole custody if that's the case.
I'm guessing there's a lot of people who going to relieved by the update to the last story. I've seen it referenced as "guy and his dad who were planning to end OP, if she didn't die in childbirth story" more than once. And I'm not even on Reddit. People were legit worried about her all over the internet.
My thoughts too. I was starting to worry that maybe the ex father in law was actually going to be upset that OP didn’t die. His overwhelming authoritative demeanor especially if he had been allowed in the delivery room would have been terrifying for OP as she was in such a vulnerable position
Cops: “If you want him out, you have to evict him.” Next day parents throw things out and change the locks. Cops: “Ehh, it’s a civil matter.” Useless 🙄
Story 1: OP, they stopped being your parents the instant they made the unilateral decision that your credit score was expendable and told you “just go bankrupt or GTFO.”
The scary bit about the first story is that when I was a kid, there is no way my parents could do this because NOBODY would issue a loan or a credit card to someone with no credit history. Now that they will issue credit cards to anyone, it’s easy for a parent to fraudulently open lines of credit on a minor or young adult. I mean, literally, my first “loan” was a “frozen assets” loan with my mom putting up the money as security.
i wish that to open up a credit card you need to be 18 and it needs to be in person or over zoom. that would reduce the chance for parents to pull bs like this. it would also make it easier to catch identity thieves too, if you need to give your picture ID, which will then be on record, in order to open up the accounts.
Imagine having the audacity to commit several crimes, and then when someone reports you, you lose your mind and commit another crime as well... Very ebic
Story 3: Of all the things my ex did to me, him insisting I would have no say in who he invited into the delivery room was one of the most violating. I still feel sick thinking about it. The fact that OP does not feel her voice matters in this issue, alone, is enough to seriously consider pulling away from the whole family. She is not an object for them to use, gawk at, and discard!
In cases like the OP in the first story, NEVER make any type of payment to any of the debt holders without first speaking to a lawyer and/or financial advisor. Generally, making a payment, of any amount, means accepting responsibility for that debt. Also, it is the job of the police, not the collection agency to 'investigate the issue'. OP was correct to tell the collection agency where to go. OP reported it to the police, the police were investigating, and the only thing the collection agency was entitled to from OP was the police report number.
The last story gives _True Crime_ vibes. Like, it legit sounds like the (soon to be ex) husband and FIL were PLANNING to have OP k¡IIed and were going to play it off like complications from childbirth. I'm genuinely surprised that this didn't occur to her. She's a fool for allowing this man near her child at all. There is _no way_ that he's NOT letting his father have contact with their child. The FIL is DEFINITELY around that baby when the husband has her.
I have a good ole hypothetical about the last story, hypothetically years down the line when Opie's daughter gets married and has kids of her own, is her dad going to try to put the same thoughts that his own father put in his head, but in the future son in laws head? Or how even as the daughter ages and goes to visit her father when she's older, like late teens, young adults ages, is he going to instill that fear in her that she could die during childbirth? This is a cycle that needs to be stopped before it's even started.
S2: I can’t exactly blame OP. I mean, your entire friend group, who you’ve been with since high school, telling you the same story? It’s hard to believe every single one of your friends would fck you over like that. I wouldn’t have blamed Josh for not coming back, either, because that is a hard blow. But if they’re happy and figuring things out, good for them!
Story 1: Narcissistic parents who think they can abuse their kid's credit score and SSN and don't think they'll get in trouble for it. OP was right to press charges because this was a federal crime! Heck, I didn't even know much about my own credit score but now I check it regularly since I'm looking to get my own residence. The fact the parents "disowned" OP (basically threw his stuff out) all, because they were throwing a tantrum for being caught in identity theft, is basically more on the pyre that is their "lifestyle" going up in flames. Hope OP also told all the neighbors. Story 2: OP needs new friends. They ruined OP's relationship and nuked their whole friendship just because they wanted OP to "date within the group" and saw the outsider (Josh) as a threat. So they pulled this BS and then pushed OP to date Alex (who probably long had a crush on OP which the rest of the group knew about and wanted to "be wingmen", but were upset she was dating someone else). Glad OP got out once the truth came out because friends or friend groups you've known for a long time can become toxic before you know it (or have already been toxic and you never knew till it's too late). Also happy that OP got to repair her relationship with Josh and hope they stay strong together. Story 3: WTF?????? I get trauma from learning your wife died birthing your child...but to put that same trauma and fear into your ADULT SON to then project it onto his wife is next-level crazy. I mean, at first, the concerns for OP's safety may have been ok because it's the first child. However, to then continuously hover to the point of making OP uncomfortable and likely making active plans to be in the birthing room is far past boundary limits. AND TELLING OP TO BASICALLY SORT HER AFFAIRS "IN THE CASE OF HER DEATH" IS SO WILD!!! Were they expecting OP to die in labor?! Forget just needing a therapist, OP's husband needs a government team to lock him away in full psychiatric hold. Glad OP saw a therapist and got away from this toxicity. Plus the fact the ex-husband ran to daddy dearest (literally the source of the crazy) who then rallied his family to harass OP! I pray OP kept all the messages before changing her number because she needs a restraining order against the entire family.
Story 1 - Fun fact about government work and credit scores (in the USA). Security Clearance is directly tied to credit. (The reasoning is bad credit/debt is a weakness that bad actors can exploit.) But also... "My parents did it to me, so that makes it okay." WTH?!?
yeh. they're the type of people that abuse their kids because their parents abused them. as someone that was horribly abused the logic makes no sense to me. i don't know how someone would refuse to break the cycle
Story 1: call Laura how they think they can be mad at their son for reporting them for a crime. They absolutely did commit, but would put him in debt jail for the next several years. And keep in mind they told him to file bankruptcy after they were done using my credit cards. So on top of 15,000 in their son’s name, they were planning on doing more. But you know there’s a special place in jail for people like this. And I doubt they’re getting any kind of leniency when I pointed out that when they found out, their son reported them he just so happened to have ended up homeless.
Story 3: "My ex isn't a bad father, he loves our baby girl" sounds so wrong to my ear after all the awful crap the ex did and was involved in, especially with no news of the ex having started to work on self-improvement since OP left. Can you really say someone isn't a bad parent if they are involved in harassing their child's other parent and they escalate when confronted about lying about getting help? Stuff like that sets a horrible example for your children (and we aren't even talking about the risk of the child getting in contact with the crazy ex-FIL behind OP's back; if the ex lied about getting therapy, what else could or would he lie to you about?). Plus, what is the ex going to do if his daughter gets pregnant someday if he doesn't get his issues sorted out by then? That's got lots of potential to bring forth even messed up abuse. I really hope that co-parenting thing works out fine because I'm worried for the kid, what with a nutjob of an extended family like her father's.
To answer Dabney's question on the last story, re: why knock your wife up if you think she will die in childbirth. I believe the answer to that would be "Munchausen By Proxy", which is possibly what had been affecting the FIL ever since the loss of his wife. Just my uneducated guess.
While he is free to make his own decisions, I don't know if I would have taken her back. It's not so much the fact that op believed other people over him, or even the fact that she was calling him a liar, it's the fact that she believed that he could do something that scummy. I get that she trusted her friends and her boyfriend, so there's a twisted majority rule.
2nd story: Can anyone really blame OP though? She trusted her close friends who all shared the exact same story. If they were normal people and not apparently sociopaths, that would have been the correct thing to do. She’s also a victim. But I’m glad it worked out for then
First story: I'm honestly kinda curious about the mom's side of the "my parents did this to me when I was your age" argument. Was *she* (the mom) responsible for taking care of the bills that her parents left her/actually filed for bankruptcy or did she lie and possibly convince the dad to do the same?
Just like rSlash said that he wouldnt get together with OP in the 2nd story, I wouldn't either, unless some clearly boundary was establish but at the very least she did cut contact with all those people
I normally would agree. But the way OP talked in the post and especially the email she sent him make me think twice. She took 100% responsibility for what happened even though she really didn't have to. It would have been so easy to just blame the friends and not have any accountability at all and honestly, I wouldn't have entirely blamed her if she had. So not doing that is a crazy huge green flag.
@@shortwave737 i agree it just that with some people they wouldn't forgive their ex for it, so I feel like OP and Josh like the rare situation where forgivence and getting back together happen
Last story: to answer your question R/, best case scenario is he didn’t start thinking about this until after she got pregnant. Unfortunately, worst case scenario is he cared more about a father than his wife. Also, I can’t stop thinking about how he called her paranoid wild being so certain she was going to die, giving birth. He demanded she write a will, and go through all of her possessions.
Nobody should feel bad or responsible for their parents taking advantage of them. Youre supposed to predict that the people most responsible for protecting you are actually the most dangerous people in your lives? Also, if you're in this situation, don't listen to creditors when they tell you to make "good faith" payments. You don't owe a god damn thing if you have a solid fraud case.
Regarding the last story: Every legal adult should make sure to have a will. It could always happen something and it’s putting way less stress on the grieving friends and relatives if you do that while you still can.
This is important about bankruptcy!!!! Things changed after the housing market crash 15 years ago. Before, bankruptcy would fall off your credit after 7 or so years. Now, it's on your credit forever.
Story 2: with "friends" like those, who needs enemies? And yes, Josh is way too forgiving. Funny how OP speaks about having trust issues, when Josh has every reason in the world to never trust her again.
Story 2: There seems to be a pattern of basically having a phobia of just admitting from the start that you hate someone. These friends should've just said how they felt about Josh before all of the lying, and now OP's just dumped the entire friend group entirely. Honestly, I think OP would've left anyway if they were honest.
I wouldn’t be surprised that the FIL “offed” his wife for insurance money and brainwashed his son (the husband) into doing the same. Black widow spider style. From what OP describes, he sounds a dangerous man, and she is right to keep her daughter away from him. 😮
Never EVER do a "good faith payment"! That's how the collection agencies can legally pin the debt to you and hold you liable for payment or garnishment. Edit: this just occurred to me, but a family member of mine had things go to collections often, so they'd try to call us too. If you answer the phone, only ever say hello, they'll ask for "name", only reply with "may I ask who's calling?". Don't ever confirm anything until you know who you're talking to, and only if you want to confirm anything with said caller.
The last story: if OP did have problems giving birth? Well she’d likely be denied care by her husband and FIL, if she ended up suffering with acute/chronic pain after the birth? They’d see that ad punishment for surviving. Wouldn’t be surprised if they were planning to kill her. Just absolutely insane, the ex husband and dad are highly enmeshed and incredibly unhealthy, they never once cared how much they damaged OP mentally, they’d never have a healthy home environment for a child. Just hoping OP has supervised visitation with her ex husband, this would prevent the ex FIL being involved. Sounds like Folie à deux, the FIL and husband have such a close relationship as father-son that they have a shared delusion, Folie à deux meaning “madness for two”, tends to happen to those who are incredibly close nit.
The last story OP'S ex husband and ex father in law gave me bad vibes because they seemed way to money hungry. I really don't think that OP'S ex husband Mom just died from childbirth, I think OP'S ex father in law did something to kill his wife while making it look like she died from childbirth so he can profit from her death and get tons of praise from being "a wonder single widowed Dad" and he clearly wanted him and his son especially him to profit from OP's death and anything OP wanted to leave her biological family like her parents would suddenly disappear. OP'S ex husband and father in law definitely had a huge secret life insurance policy out on OP. OP I am so glad that you divorced that toxic family but you need to get full custody of your daughter to protect her from their toxic ways and to make sure nothing happens to her so her evil Dad and Grandpa can't profit from her death because sadly they might have a huge secret life insurance policy on her too.
For the last story: That man would’ve definitely killed her if she stayed. He wanted to be a single dad and desperately wanted her dead. It was only a matter of time.
the labor and delivery nurses would NOT have put up with that dude. I have seen teeny, tiny little nurses MAKE a grown-ass man leave and go back to the waiting room. whatever the mom expresses, that's what they support. and they have neither time nor tolerance for that bs.
In the last story I was kind of thinking the same thing about like why would he plan to have children, but its likely that the fil was not involved in the decision to conceive and husband wasn't worried until daddy dearest got in his ear combined with the reality of the pregnancy. The other thing I didn't understand was if someone I knew was in a situation where I thought they might die (even unwarranted) my top priority would be spending all the positive quality time with them I could. Stressing and getting all worked up about everything will just make it harder on everyone regardless of whether they somehow actually die.
Story 2: maybe just cares about her that much I don’t know. It probably helped that she apologized and her so-called friends are no longer in their life. Seriously that would screw all of them. They all sabotage your relationship to four due to go out with the guy they wanted. And it failed Did anyone bother to tell you the truth.
For story 2, I’m more surprise Josh would go back to OP. What would happen if OP is again fooled into ending the relationship? How could Josh trust a single word OP would say after getting back together? All I’m saying is, if I was in this same relationship how could I look at OP the same way after not even listening fully to what josh did?
I remember reading the story about the dad convinced the wife will die but there was no update, just ended with “he has a commanding presence and the nurses will listen” followed by silence. I am so glad there is a positive update
to help you understand with the last one, r/, its like a couple of high schoolers. you dont think in the moment but in afew months you can have a surprize
I feel bad for both OP and the ex-husband in the last story. If the ex was supposed to be going to therapy, that suggests he needed it. I don't think they specified, but I bet that it wasn't just him going to the FIL instead of the therapist, but the FIL talking him out of going to therapy. If so, the FIL 1. manipulated his son out of getting help he needed 2. proceeded to implant fear and paranoia into him 3. directly or indirectly sabotaged his marriage. Even if it was driven by his own grief and trauma, that's messed up. Even if it was entirely the ex's idea to go to his father instead of actual therapy, that doesn't change what the FIL proceeded to do. Starting therapy can be extremely uncomfortable since it's being vulnerable with a stranger, and the FIL definitely took advantage of that to mess with his son's mind... for... some reason.
Last story: Could be that when hubby initially planned the kid with OP he didn't think about death in childbirth. But when OP was pregnant the FIL poisoned hubby with his own memories and worry.
Story 1: it's crazy to me that it's so easy to open a credid card/bank account in someone else's name the US, it's not impossible to do it were I live, but it's more complicated to do... It's like the US economy is based on people owning banks and credit companies and that's why they make it so easy for people to be in debt, like it doesn't matter if it's legal as long as people are in debt.
If I'm giving the husband in the last story the benefit of the doubt, I would say he probably didn't think his wife was that likely to die until after she was pregnant, and his dad got into his ear. Like maybe her being pregnant maybe it come to mind and he sought out his dad for advice, or maybe his dad went to him, but either way I think it's possible that's why he was fine getting her pregnant initially. The _worst_ interpretation is that it was some fucked up plot to brush under the rug an unexpected death from OP. But that is a very over the top assumption. And would also just be extremely stupid.
i wanna know what the ex and ex father-in-law's initial reactions were when OP did not, in fact, die during childbirth like they were so convinced she would.
The rationale that “my parents did it to me” is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s amazing how stupid people are. Absolutely no insight, no change, no thoughts, just “oh, I’ll do that, too.”
The "funny" thing about story 1, is that if you pay _any_ amount on a debit, no matter how fraudulent, it becomes legally viable... or something (IANAL). They were basically trying to trick him into giving them money for no reason, as far as I understand it. I don't even know if that keeps them from getting money from whatever system is in place... _do_ the credit cards get paid back when someone is arrested? I guess nobody ever talks about that part.
Foreboding Father: Dabney you had a really good comeback to the morbid father and FIL. If he really cared about the mother of his child, why did he procreate? All she was to him, and his father was an incubator.
I have to admit, I've been ECSTATIC to hear an update for this last story. I've been so worried for OP. The sigh of relief I heard when she referred to her "ex" was cathartic.
Last story. I dont think the ex-husband thought about OP dying in childbirth until she got pregnant, and the father-in-law hooked onto that stress and hammered in the possibility. Both of them have some severe trauma that needs to be dealt with. Unfortunately for the father-in-law, that trauma seems to be a core personality trait, so it is unlikely ever to get fixed.
That was pretty cruel for what op parents did to him. I'm glad everything worked out well for you dude. The 2nd story is kinda of a scary situation. Also i think your pretty stupid for letting him nude photos of you on his phone just my opinion. I hope everything goes well. I just hope he doesn't use your past mistakes to control you. The last story man op what an experience. Keeping a woman claim and comfortable during pregnancy is a must. Stress is the worst thing to be dealing with. Also are you okay with your ex visiting his daughter? I would've set some major rules in place like he has to go to a therapist and bring actual proof. And see if you can get a restraining order cause your ex husband dad is a cruel guy. He definitely has some major issues.
