Yup. Can confirm, I was that 14 year old girl too when I was younger. I wish I had guidance and a proper support system back then like we see in this story, rather than years of ongoing therapy in my 20's.
Yeah, I understand Romeo and Juliet Laws, and think they're fine, but this isn't one of those scenarios. He was already an adult when he started talking to her, a middle school girl. If he was 18, she was a little older, and they had been dating since they were both in school together, it would be different. This girl is straight up being groomed and exploited by an adult man. Momma Bear needs to send this creep to prison.
@@SkunkApe407 I don't know about that. Even if they were closer in age and started dating when he was a minor, he's still pretty abusive. The insults, the drunk room mate, etc. He seems seriously emotionally unstable.
@@theconfusedvampireI think they are strictly talking about the age gap in that comment. Like how it would be different IF the age gap was smaller like say 16 and 18 AND if he was actually a good person and not abusive. The comment was a hypothetical. They're definitely aware that the actual situation is messed up and the guy is an abusive p3do
OP didn't ruin her ex-friend's family and her son's life, her son did all that. That aside, good on the mother for making peace and getting closure but as for her son, the slap on the wrist might do a lot? While he didn't go to jail/prison, it's still on his record that he was after and abused someone underaged. That's going to haunt him in more ways than one.
Story 1: when the ex-friend called OP to berate her for going the legal route and claiming OP ruined their lives, my brain went “I see where he gets his gaslighting tendencies from…”
@@Wendy_O._Koopa Forget six feet he’d be buried so far into the ground he’d be tasting Earths core. I hope he likes Jules Verne because his funeral would be a “Journey to the center of the Earth”.
@@Wendy_O._Koopa Forget six feet. He’d be so far under the ground he’d be tasting the Earth’s core. I’d hope he likes Jules Verne because his funeral would be a “Journey to the Center of the Earth”.
Story 1: OP even though you didn't get the full wrath of the law for your daughter, this is still a good thing in the long run. Because at least now the police do have him on their radar, and believe me when I say that SOB is done in the real world, something like this is going to follow him for the rest of his life. And unfortunately people like this that get a slap on the wrist usually don't learn their lesson, I hope another little girl doesn't have to suffer for him to be thrown in prison. As for your friend I think it's a good idea not to talk to her again. And not just because her son (although it's not like you need anything else), but because her reaction wasn't denial, she was upset with you for not letting her covering up for her son in instead of getting the cops involved.
Even if she did talk to her friend first it would have probably just been the exact same like: how dare you make such allegations against my baby are you trying to destroy my family?
There’s a video (may be a spoof) where a guy asks his girlfriend what she’d do if he won the lottery. She said something along the lines of “take my half and dump you,” so he dumped her after admitting he only won $10.
@@qdllc OMG, her half? She's not his wife so what half is hers? that girlfriend had no claim to any part of her man's winnings even if his brother hadn't helped him and he had won the contest all on his own.
His brother's wife wasn't a dork about it so I don't know why his girlfriend thought she should have some sort of rights to the the tickets. She sounds horribly self-centred and he's well to be rid of her.
@@srbarkerchan Oh! Okay, yeah. She was a pretty good mom, I agree. By the way, as I'm typing this, there is a crazy sound going on outside. It's almost like a train is going by but in the sky right above the house. I don't see any planes or jets or even lines. Completely clear. Not even a cloud, just a clear baby blue sky and a crazy sound windy rumble noise. I am however near a train route and an airport but normally don't notice the noise they make. 😨
Obviously because he's lying. This is literally just a manipulation tactic abusers use to make their victims feel responsible for the abuse. It doesn't make sense as an onlooker most of the time, especially if it's done sloppily like this - but remember that the victim in this case had be slowly coerced into the mindset that things were her fault for at least a year, while being a vulnerable teenage girl. She didn't have the wherewithall to recognize this as what it was.
@@Broeckchen unfortunately some nasty people will do those things to those they see as a "sibling" because they think it's ok. I hope it never becomes legal.
@@Simipourfangirl Controversial opinion, but to me the only thing that counts is the power dynamic. Non related friends who grew up together and one of them has always been older and in possession of more resources than the other? Skeevy. Twins who were separated at birth and meet each other again as adults with equal standing and fall in love? Can't bring myself to find that gross or resent it. I'm a big proponent of freedom unless it harms others, so if neither of the partners and no child get harmed, I don't care. Especially since some people can't verbalize their feelings as well as others. This guy tho? Simply lying. A responsible big brother would never, ever encourage romantic attention from a sibling to them. Even if he reciprocated it. He's indirectly admitting that he's a lowlife, just trying to act like marginally less of a lowlife than he actually is.
@@Simipourfangirl Same with me. Gross because they're genetically related, but a tad less so because they didn't know they were related beforehand if that makes sense. Adoption can make things complicated and that's kinda why the parents should at least mention who the kid's related to during the adoption process in order to prevent that stuff from happening.
I was in an emotional abusive relationship for about a decade and my dad moved my family from Virginia to Alabama and begged me to move with them so he couldn't keep doing what he did best, absolutely destroying me. OP is such a phenomenal parent, I wish all parents were like that
@shadowofthehitokiri5787 oh, I'm sorry 😖 he didn't send me away, we all moved together to Alabama. But yea, later on, he told me the main reason he chose to move out of state, instead stay in VA like he could have, was because he felt he needed to get me away from my ex. Also, depending on how I took everything, he would decide on moving to Alabama, Texas or Alaska. Alaska was pretty much the worse case scenario. My parents are absolutely amazing and I consider myself *extremely * lucky to have them as parents. Pretty sure that's why im so unlucky. Used all my luck on them 😁
@@ajjamsen694 Actually, as it turns out, I misread your comment, thought that your DAD was the abusive one. Sorry about that. Glad you got out of that shitty situation. I also count myself extremely lucky that I have great parents. Every day. A lot of people aren't so lucky....
@@GiordanDiodato she's 90lb, 5'3", still lives with her parents, doesn't have a license, and looks like she's 16yo. It's as close to pedophila as he can get, and there's still a power dynamic since her brain is developed.
@@RU-vidSupportSuckshow does it matter how she looks?? A lot of people look younger than they are. Atleast she is a proper adult and not “just turned 18” adult.
One attempted grooming victim to another: it doesn't matter who it is; you have to tell someone. If they don't believe you, tell someone else. I tanked my mental health in high school trying to keep it secret that my stepdad was grooming me and just avoiding him. I wish my mom had seen the signs like this mom, but they are divorced now. He's far out of my life.
I agree. I'd be saying I'm happy for him and it only makes sense to take his brother even if I'd have wanted to go, if I had been in the girlfriend's shoes.
Tbh, I got second-hand rage from that story. I remember having run-ins with people like that GF... people who always try to have the last word and "win the argument." Hell, sometimes I see it in my own mother's language, too, but I'm at least happier knowing that it's only due to mutual miscommunication (meaning she sees the same in me, funnily enough. Lol) But the people who were never content with letting me help them when they ask for it? Arguing with people and me not being able to comprehend what they did wrong? It drove me nuts every time... They're assholes because they believe they aren't assholes at all. To them, ignorance is mighty full of bliss! Mighty stupid is what they are, to me...
Story 2: it sounds like she mainly just cared about winning the argument then going to the super bowl. And I know it's obvious but it is always impressive how someone really can't see the irony in their own actions sometimes.
I feel so much for the girl in story 1. I'm a victim of being groomed. I was 12, they were 19 (Said they were 16 but i found out their real age on Twitter). The way he is talking to her is just like the way my groomer talked to me. I'm so glad the mom took action, and i hope op's daughter will heal from this experience, especially considering this was severe and he knew her in real life, so there wasn't a super easy way to escape
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm a father of two daughters who will be in that age range very soon. I hope they never get approached that way in the first place. But if someone does it helps noticing the hints and being sure that it's not just me being overprotective if I do ...
End of story 1: yeah, OP can’t be friends with that lady even if she wanted to be. Having any sort of connection between the families would make it easier for that monster to get at OP’s daughter again. Like finding out their new address from his mom or something. Way too risky. OP made the right choice.
I'm glad in the first story the parents didn't blame her for her situation. My parents would have freaked out on me and called me stupid for falling for that.... she has great parents
Same here, around the same age I had an almost similar situation happen to me but for a shorter period of time and with a guy that was long distance online only. My mom called the police on ME to lecture me about not having social media instead of asking what happened or trying to find the guy who originally was just being friendly
"How dare my young, developing child get deceived by a grown adult who was actively trying to deceive them?!" -- your mouth breathing parents who have apparently never interacted with any child including their own, presumably
"Part of me wants to go over to my friend's house right now and scream at her son. Obviously I'm not going to do that" - what, why? Go to the friend and explain to her that her son is going to prison, and then explain in detailed what is done to child predators in prison.
the way I understood this, OP wrote "I'm not gonna do that" before her daughter warned the guy. Meaning: if OP had confronted the mom of the pdf, and going by how badly his mom reacted to the situation, she might have even helped him hide evidence and whatnot. I think OP took the right course - let the police handle it. By confronting criminals yourself, you always run the risk of "accidentally helping" them, either by giving them a heads up to hide evidence, or to run away, or to lawyer up and be "well prepared" for police interrogation etc etc. The more police can catch them unprepared and off-guard, the better imo, best not interfere as the victim / victim's parent.
Gotta agree with the other comment here. It would have tipped this guy off enough to hide or destroy evidence. They wouldn't even have gotten that slap on the wrist through if he did that.
The friend blamed OP and her daughter for destroying her family even though her son was the one who committed a literal crime. She sounds as horrible and delusional as her son is...
My younger sister was dating an 18 year old when she was 14. Her parents (my dad and her mom) were totally fine with it. The same man who once picked me up from middle school and yelled at me because my dress was "too short" and started calling my mom names. I then told him that I wore that dress because HE bought it for me and I wanted him to see it. He shut up after that. That man is ok with his 14 year old dating an 18 year old.
They were so sure nothing was going on between them sexually. They're dating. Come on. Anyway she got pregnant at 16/17 by a different guy. Can't say I'm surprised she sought outside "love" and affection. They treat her like shit
As much as I'd love to go to a superbowl game I'd totally get rid of the girlfriend. If my brother helped me get the ticket they would be the person who went with me. My hubby got to go all expenses paid to a Detroit lions game. They were in big rented box with food etc. I was still in recovery from cancer. As much as I would have loved it I wouldn't really have been able to enjoy it. I talked him into taking our son in law. They had a blast. My son doesn't like sports at all so he was. No thanks dad take T with you he loves football. Hubby wanted to take grandson but he was only 7 and with all the alcohol and long day we worried he wouldn't make it through lol there was big charter bus and people drove everyone home so they could all drink and enjoy.
Story 1: So, fun personal fact, I watched my sisters both get pregnant far to early and have raised two girls because of that. The moment I heard 21 vs 14 my mind instantly went to sudden disappearance and the longer the story went on the more aggressive my thoughts got and now I'm thinking potato peeler, salt and fire ants.
I was groomed as a teenager by a man 11 years older than me, and I wish I could have turned to my parents and that they could have helped me early in the situation like this mom did. This mom is amazing. It’ll be a long road of healing for the daughter, but she now has the chance at a normal adolescence and she knows that her parents have her back if she needs them. That’s got to be immensely helpful for her. I just want to hug mom and daughter. It must’ve been so difficult to go through, but they both did amazing!
The pdf file’s mom is just like him, no wonder where he gets it from. Also, “it’s ok sweetie, don’t you worry, daddy’s gonna make sure he never shows his face to you again, I promise that. Daddy may go away for a while, but that might not be for a while.”
@@royplatt455It's a surprisingly common euphemism on overly censor-happy platforms nowadays. Another unexpected homophone I haven't been able to unhear is "sewerslide."
@@Simipourfangirlabsolutely, the college student "dating" a middle schooler is bad enough, but how the jackass acts, kinda wish the daughter had an overprotective older brother, I can imagine how things would turn out then
Story 1: Yeah, he's a pecking creep, and he's using every single trick in the abusive book. He NEEDED to go to jail. Yeah the guy's family was destroyed in the process, but sometimes it just has to be this way.
Yeah sad fact is you get the justice you can afford' Can only guess his family has or comes from money so they were able to hire him some killer legal defense. Similar thing happened where i live a man in his early to mid 20's SA'd a 2 yo girl but his family came from money so when he was sentenced all he got was a year in prison, 12 months of community service and 8 years on the sex offender registry.
I'm no lawyer, but even if the daughter deleted all those previous conversations, I can't imagine she deleted that most recent one about the kiss, and that sounds like evidence if I've ever seen it
This is so upsetting. This is a young girl who is being abused and made to be afraid. It is sickening that OP had to find a geographical solution due to his parents inability to recognise the insanity and dangerousness in their son. Truthfully, that is how it goes, when his parents abandoned their responsibility to correct him, and even defend him, when the truth came out, it told the whole story. They were never parents to him, if they had been this never would have happened. They created, by their neglect, a dangerous creature who preys on children, female children. His mother has so much to answer for, and OP was so right to reject her.
Story 1: I would have told the best friend before getting law enforcement involved... To see if I had to send them after her too. She DID raise that THING, after alll... Story 2: Good riddance!
It doesn't crap man was the a P word no I think did she took the time and think mind you it all came hitting her straight in the about everything. I'm not defending her son because he chose to do what he did. I hate when people say, "Oh, it is the parents' fault they turn out like that." Nope, unless they knew and still didn't do anything, then yeah. But what about those who didn't even know a thing. And how is not talking about his friends they should be held accountable as much as any parent should.
I won tickets to see 30 seconds to Mars. I was in a relationship at the time but didn't even think about taking him lol. My sister went with me. She was in to the same music. Boyfriend wasn't even interested in music lol. So it was obvious who to take. He didn't even care that i didn't even think twice about taking my sister.
Has rSlash ever read that one story with the traditional family and the dad discovering his wife allowed her parents to abuse their granddaughters? That was another multi-update with an excellent parent.
at 14 any 21 year old thinks that they're talking to my kid like that, they aren't going to be findable for very long. After that string of messages you just read, grooming her and then treating her like shit and talking to her like that. I wouldn't even be able to stop myself from going over there and walking past my friend and probably going to jail. if my friend does anything but disown him, shes getting it too for raising a kid like this and then trying to justify it.
Story 1 : if op husband canceled that piece of work then it should be justifiable and he should be given a medal.. Update: yeah calling that guy a piece of work is insulting a piece of work.... Update 2: the worst pdf are the once that are close to you.... Update 3 : The problem is the ex BFF knows where op and op family is.. Story 2 : Bros before H.. Update: yeah op ex is a horrible horrible person..
Story 2: Holy crap, what does this woman want from Op? He won the tickets with his brother, and yet she thinks she's entitled to Superbowl tickets, and she has the audacity to call Op Selfish. Op transfered the tickets to his brother, and yet she still has the audacity
I'm sorry, but the mother of the man who did that to OP's daughter should've considered her son might be a creep in the first place instead of trying to apologize a year after the fact. He was a 21 yr old man at the time, there is nothing she could have done to "resolve the situation" because he does not have to rely on, he can pay his own bills, his own insurance, everything and her thinking she could change that is delusional on her part. As for him getting a slap on the wrist, as long as he was convicted of some form of inappropriate behavior with a minor then it'll be ok because the next time anything like this happens, and I have no doubt there will be a next time, he has a record and a pattern of behavior to show for everything so there's a higher chance it won't be just a slap on the wrist.
I was groomed then touched when I was 15. When I was around 21-22 I was punched in the face for finally admitting what he did. His wife new what he was doing to me and let it go. So I love the mom in the 1st story.
In the first story after seeing how the 21 year olds mom acted its easy to see why hes so abusive. If i ever have a kid who groomed a child and i found out i would literally call the girls parents ulgy crying and apologizing to them, NOT blaming them for protecting their kid
I’m a victim of grooming. I was a freshman, he was a senior. I’ve never told my mom or my grandma out of fear of being yelled at or getting my phone taken. I’m glad that OP’s daughter was able to tell OP, and I hope things get better.
Wow... That guy in the first story is a piece of work. There's no way he hasn't SA'ed someone already. He's a Chinese military parade of red flags! Glad the police are involved. That friend (that dude's mom) is not a friend. The girl's mom is a Rockstar parent! Love how it turned out. Hope the predetor ends up in prison soon. At least he has a record now.
Hey, rSlash, rq sound tip, if you can't get access to wall padding/foam/w/e to reduce echos and noise, then record under a blanket, it'll work until you can get back to your normal recording set up
Story 1: I agree, that is such a good parent. And her ex-friend sounds a little delusional. Like no. I don't want to be friend's with someone who supports and defends the guy who emotionally abused my 14 y/o daughter and was grooming her for an abusive sexual relationship with him. I wouldn't trust her anymore than I would trust her son after that.
*First OP:* This is why Justifiable H0m1cide exist. I'm glad things worked out in a way for OP's daughter. I do feel bad that OP had to end her friendship because of her friend's son's actions. I hope he gets his karma. *Second OP:* I'm glad OP went to the Superbowl with his brother. I also like his pettiness at the end, too lol
The first story sickens me, I’ve been in a similar situation. I can understand why the daughter listened to the 21 y/o especially seeing how he spoke to the daughter, super manipulative. I hope he rots.
The super bowl brother and super bowl brother's wife handled it perfectly. Of course they want to go but not at the expense of drama or fighting. And all of the compromising parties got rid of the party who wasn't cable of compromising
I feel SO terrible for this young lady. Human nature makes us our own worst enemies, I guarantee she is already worried about so many of these things, and even though they’re not true, she’s now gonna think they are. She’s sooo impressionable. That’s so, so rough.
I find it so dang scary that he is only 21, and is yet sooo sooo toxic already. He’s either learned it from somewhere or he is already mentally unstable. I don’t believe the mom wouldn’t have done anything if you told her before telling the cops. He clearly isn’t being parented properly if he thinks this is behaviour is acceptable.
I genuinely find it so weird how people think this stuff is okay. I was groomed at 14 by a man who was 21. I am now 21 myself and I just don't understand how people can groom minors and think this kind of behavior is at ALL okay. It's horrifying and there's no excuse.
So a friend of mine in college started dating a 13 year old girl when he was 20, and they dated for two years. Here's the kicker, she told him she was 18, they both had fake IDs to go to bars and such, and the girls parents thought he was 15 at the start. So after TWO YEARS, my buddy mentioned to his then 15 year old gf's dad that he was looking forward to his 23rd birthday. The parents immediately sat down with the two of them, and we're planning to call the police until the entire story came out. The parents decided to not interfere, knowing dude was moving halfway across the country in just a few months. Their relationship ended when the girl was almost 16, however almost a decade later they got back together and are now married with a kid. Y'all, I spent two years hanging around this, and never once had any inkling she was not the same age as us. My then gf (18 at the time) was 5'3, and 103 lbs with a petite frame. The then 13 year old my college roomie was dating was something like 5'7, and 140isg lbs, with a very curvy/busty body. The jokes were always that my gf looked twelve. This whole scenario rocked our friend group for a long time, all because a thirteen year old kid lied, had a fake ID, and her parents allowed her to stay nights with the bf they thought was 15. Parents, it's your job to parent. I say this as one.
I started dating my ex (24) when I was 14. I moved in with him at 16, had a baby at 17, then left him at 18. I used to think age was just a number, until I realized how much more experience a few years gives you. No matter what anyone says, guys over 18 are 100% taking advantage of those younger.
These parents, especially the mother, have sacrificed so much to make sure their daughter is safe and comfortable. I'm crying, these are phenomenal parents.
So glad the dad decided to go to the cops. Even though they didn’t get the justice they wanted for their daughter they absolutely are helping any other child that could come into contact with him. That case already makes him look like someone to not be trusted around children
Disgusting News: m, 50, the same sort of thing happened to me when I turned 16, except there was a wider age discrepancy. the dude was my father's roommate in college, and apparently he tried to groom all my uncles too so I'm not sure why my father let him come around. when I was 9 this dude came to visit my father, but my father wasn't home. for reference my parents were split up since I was 3 years old, but lived next door to each other. This was the 80s, on a back road in rural town, and I was able to freely go between the two houses which were separated by horse pasture, and wander around the woods. communication was all by landline, there was no internet yet, no cell phones except those clunky shoebox sized phones that you only saw in limousines in movies. anyway I went to see who was at my father's house and it was him, I know who he was because he would visit my father whenever he was in town. it's obvious now that he just plan to be there for my 9th birthday because he had a gift for me in the form of a book that he said was his favorite when he was my age called The Little Prince. my little brother was with me and he asked if we wanted to go for a walk. we walked out into the field behind my father's house and he said he had to pee, and he tried to convince me to let him see mine, which I did not and we walked back. when my mother saw him with us, she sent us inside sent him away and then came in to talk to me. and she told me about him in a way appropriate for a 9-year-old. which really was not detailed enough. so anyway you can see where this is going. (I should clarify that in my memory I didnt let him, however, around 9 is when I started experiencing anxiety. so recently I've begun to wonder if maybe something did happen that I'm suppressing, but maybe that just came on with puberty) on my 16th birthday he called me from Hawaii which is where he lived, timed so that the phone call would come in just after school. and he did that exact same thing talked a lot at me while I said nothing uncomfortably, tried to convince me that we always loved each other. this went on for a while I'm not sure how long but on a weekend when my mother was home my brother had friends over, and when the phone rang it was my brother's friend's father, but I thought it was the other dude, so I told my mother that I thought it was him and she lit that phone up only to apologize a few minutes later when she realized it wasn't him. so I don't know if she eventually intercepted a call without me knowing but I didn't get any more grooming calls after that. although he did try one last time on my 18th birthday. when I picked up the phone I've been waiting for my friend Joann to call me, so I answered the phone in a particular way, and then when it wasn't her voice I said sorry I thought you were going to be Joann, then he revealed who he was and asked to talk to my father, and that was the last time I heard from him. but yes it's very awkward age, I was so unsure of myself, or how to react, that I just let him keep going. the only difference is that I kind of knew about him by then, although I don't think that I knew at that point that he tried with all my uncles too, knowing that might have made a difference in how I responded to him.
I am SO happy the parents in the first story got police involved. I was in the EXACT situation that kid was in. I was 13 when I met a 21 year old guy online. When I was 14, we started talking sexually, forming a bond and "relationship". It lasted until I was 19 years old! I "loved him". I couldn't live without him or stop thinking about him. He took all my high school years away from me. I was very good at hiding my phone because it was my only way of rebelling against my strict dad. When I was 19, we finally met in person. I thought it was everything I wanted. Then a few months later, a girl I knew about from his past dm'd me on twitter, telling me her stort. Turns out she was 12 when he started grooming her at 20! I was so disgusted. The reason she DM'd me was because she felt bad about me being groomed because she didn't say anything about it and it caused me to be brainwashed too. I finally left him after some internal struggle. After leaving him, i contemplated going to the police, thinking that maybe I was "overreacting, it wasn't a big deal, I'd ruin his life, he doesn't deserve it", etc. 2 days before my 21st birthday, the same age he started grooming me, I finally reported him to the police. While it is a felony to sext a minor, because of the Statute of Limitations in Texas I would've had to report him at 16 for him to be arrested...while I was still being groomed by him and didn't know any better! I will never get justice. The first victim will never get justice and there are thousands like us that will never get justice because the laws aren't on our side and we will have to carry this burden for the rest of our lives. I'm so glad OP went to the police for their kid. She will never know what it's like to have your innocent teenage years taken away.
Man the op in the first story sounds like an absolute angel! Not only did they act immediately to protect their daughter, but you can just TELL they’re an amazing and caring and loving parent! Op was observant and able to cue into wether or not their daughter was feeling ok and could immediately tell something was wrong. Sometimes it may seem better to leave someone be if they lie and say they’re fine, but op could tell this was a situation that needed pressing, showing just how much she cares! The daughter was groomed into believing she had to hide what was going on between her and the pdf, obviously, but despite that it didn’t take much before she opened up about her problems. Hell she admitted everything! And the mom didn’t lash out at her for it! It sounds like op stayed calm and understanding for the daughter (obviously not holding back for the pdf family) and it may seem obvious but not every parent gets the memo sadly. What made me want to leave a comment on all this though is the fact op’s daughter came to them immediately upon finding the tumblr message. Sure at first it was in a panic to lie to appease the pdf, but when asked where it’s coming from she admits the truth AND SHOWS THE TEXT! The fact the daughter feels secure enough for her parents to know she has a tumblr account at all hit so so hard! I got an account and didn’t even want to imply I had one around my parents! My mom only found out a couple years later when I joked the closest thing I had to a social media was Tumblr and wasn’t sure that counted, to which her first response was “you have Tumblr???” I’m not even sure if my dad knows anything. Probably not tbh. My point is it really hit hard that op had nurtured so much trust between them and their daughter! It sucks she ended up in this situation to begin with, but the fact she’s able to tell the truth at all given the circumstances? Holy shit! Op is such a good parent!
Wow, that first story was a whirlwind of emotions. That text the 21 year old sent that girl is terrifying. I've never seen so much manipulation in one paragraph. I'm glad she's doing great in her life now though, and it's also good that she went to therapy
So my father was a major in the usaf and my sister was 13 when a 22 year old was chatting her up knowing full well she was 13. My dad found out and found pics of him in an army uniform. My dad tracked him down and his pics were him in his dad's uniform. His dad was a lt colonel. My dad knew the base commander for the base he was stationed at as well as other higher ranking army personnel. My dad reached out and told his dad he had 24 hours to get his son sorted out or he'd make hell. The next day the guy was in jail for violating his parole by talking to my sister. Bit later he ended up in prison because my sister's friend had a baby by him. She got knocked up when she was 12.
2nd Story: OP’s ex-girlfriend is running by off of the mentality of “what’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine.” Glad that she was just his girlfriend and not something like his fiancée.
First story: Parents, it’s VERY important to know that a pedophile is more likely to be someone you know than a complete stranger. In fact some pedophiles have even groomed whole families just so that they can have free access to the child. And Op, I’m sorry you only got a slap on the wrists for him but there is a silver lining in the fact that this will be on his criminal record. Second story: Shout out to the brother and his wife for them trying to help Op by sacrificing the trip.
2nd story: Yo, that chick is a textbook narcissist. If a narcissist want something or doesn't get their way, they will go out of their way to make it so uncomfortable for you that you give in. OP gave in, just not the way she wanted so she had to twist it on him. Remember, no matter what the narcissist is always right.
First Story: The Mom was truly an Angel. She Guided and Protected her Daughter from a Creepy, Abusive, Manipulative Child Molester, and her Husband was also an Angel for sticking with a Gameplan that ended up in them uprooting their Family and moved to a Different State to give their Daughter a Fresh Start, Therapy, New Friends, New School, everything. But I do have to let you know, rSlash, that not everybody can afford to move away like this Family. Most are just stuck in where they are at, and they try their best at everything. That Ex-Friend should be Greatful that her 21-22 year old Son got a Slap on the Wrist instead of being Buried 6 feet in the Ground. Despite that she apologized to OP, it was not a Safe Environment for OP's Daughter because had they become friends again, who knows what her Son would have done or tried to do, even Violating the Restraining Order and potentially Raping OP's Daughter which definitely would have ended up with him getting put in the Ground.
Mom and daughter handled adult trying to become romantically involved with a child that's learning about adulthood very well. I tip my hat to you. I absolutely hate that this happened to your family, but you acted swift, concise, and with unwavering support for your daughter/family. You set the bar high, right where it belongs! Our children are precious and deserve the luxury of growing up as SLOW as possible!
The first story has so many parts to it. I feel terrible for OP's daughter in this. She was only thirteen years old when she fell victim to a predator that literally used her insecurities and issues with her friends as a reason to get close to her. OP's daughter was in a vulnerable position since she had mental health issues, lost some of her friends, and was in a bad place overall... and this man instead of being a trusted figure in her life and convincing her to tell her parents what was happening or showing the messages that she had sent him preyed upon her. This predator possibly assaulted the fourteen year old. I am glad to see that OP was on her daughter's side. Didn't belittle her, didn't tell her that all of this was her fault, just listened to her and did something about it. That twenty one year old predator is now a twenty six or twenty seven year old predator with possibly more victims since the police didn't charge him with anything.
Both of these stories could basically just boil down to “how to notice when you’re being gaslight by someone toxic” lol. Op in the first story is a GREAT mom, and Op in the second story dumped his controlling gf. happy endings all around
Meanwhile, when I was 20-21, I unironically referred to 14 year olds as "little kids" at least once. And that's coming from me, a person who's one of the least accomplished high school graduates I know (haven't even gotten behind the wheel of a car for nearly 7 years); sometimes I wonder if I stopped aging 2 days before my 16th birthday when I found out my grandpa was dying. Then again, on the other side of the coin that's a good reason for me to see 12-13 yos as little. I still see myself as a child.
I’d say the best thing to do in that last story, is maybe just take the two free tickets and then each couple buys a ticket for their spouse and they all go?
The 21 telling the 14 that they have to keep their friendship a secret after saying that he sees her as a sister is already a red flag. If that's how he truly felt, then why would it matter if anyone else knew? Considering the families were somewhat close, it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for that to happen. His saying that just means that he wants to isolate her. Then trying to gaslight her into thinking that she's the bad one? Wow.
I’m pretty sure no one will see this. For me, I was 19 he was 41/42. Was in a theatre show with him. Was able to break from the fog after he was horrible to the crew at another theatre house, but 7 months of it still sounds crazy now that I’m 34.
I love your content but after downloading and reading a whole lot of r/aita and Ask reddits I have a whole new respect for your channel, content and character, cause I got super pissed off after just 2 stories and couldn't look at reddit for like a week after, so big ups to you for being able to power through these and give us amazing content.
I cant believe I am sharing this, but its related to the first story. Triggerwarning! Back when I was twelve I was "dating" a 23y.o. we were together for one and a Half years. I Lived in a care facility for hard to Raise kids (I have expirienced multiple Trauma at that age already, relating to my "father") and went back home every two to three weeks for a weekend. Not only did everyone working in that facility know about it, but my mother did too. No one did anything about it, they just accepted it. My mother even helped me to See him, which meant she bought *extra* Train tickets so I could go to him instead of home to her. Thinking back now (23y.o.) I am still flabberghasted about how much sh*t can and had gone wrong. I still have a Hella lot stories.
Story 1 immediately triggered my PTSD. My sister's first husband also said he loved me like a sister when he abused me. I like my current BIL, but it freaks me out when he calls me his sister. Predators suck
The fact OP's friend (the mom) called saying they should have confronted her about it before getting the police involved shows they're fully aware of how their son is and rug sweep constantly and she wasn't his first victim. NOTE: Yes I genuinely don't care that she called to apologize to her. She knew and her excuse was that she didn't want their family to split up and justified his behavior.
You can always tell when someone has an agenda by how they explode. On dating sites, I find it funny when someone is trying to sweet talk me then start aggressively insulting me when I won’t play ball.
