My heart melts whenever he finds a warm story like that. Who hopes he does a best of updates where all the stories are warm and fuzzy! I’m happy OP got the family he deserves but hate that the state had a blind eye of his parents actions for years
My childhood best friend was genuinely so lucky to be placed with a lovely woman alongside both her younger brothers. Their foster Mom continued to take in other kids temporarily and their cases were always so sad and really gave me so much perspective. All 3 have been officially adopted for around 10 years now. ♥️
Former foster parent here. It really is rare for a 15 year old to get adopted. So so happy for him. (Also most states give a monthly stipend for kids over 5 adopted from care)
Basically only literal babies get adopted from foster care. Sometimes toddlers, but that's far less common as behavioural issues from trauma (such as from being taken away from their parents, even if they were neglectful, abusive, or couldn't afford to provide basic needs) have already begun to manifest.
@@agentzapdos4960 Exactly the reason I am not a fan of the pro - life side of the whole A topic. It'd be one thing if foster homes and adoptions are common. But we live in a society at least in most 1st world countries. Where adoption is 1. mostly only for babies, 2. Often viewed as the "LAST" option to have a kid, 3. most foster homes for kids to be adopted aren't even properly equiped to handle the kids they already have. So its like what do you think happens when the supply of adoptable kids inflates beyond the demand? Its like a no duh moment where there will just be a MASSIVE influx of kids who outgrow their foster homes and we just continue to create a imploding societal cycle.
@@MJSGamingSanctuary The thing is, a lot of mentally scarred poor people is EXACTLY what the goal is of anti-A people. Probably not a lot of the regular people, but 100% the people pushing those policies in the higher political levels. They are pro-corporation, and big business loves nothing more than a lot of desperate, low education workers, as that pushes prices down.
I would love to be a foster parent to older kids and teenagers one day. I know they need a safe loving home and a lot of help. Even though I know it'll take a lot of work it's something that I've wanted to do since I was about 10. I met a girl in foster care and we made really fast friends. I asked her once what foster care was like and she just started crying. She'd been in the system since she was 4 and had basically no chance of being adopted
No, at least a girl who wants a sugar daddy goes just for the money. Not only does she want the guy's money, she also wants him to "contribute his fair share of the housework", which he probably already does by doing the yard work. So, essentially, she's also probably doing less chores than if she was alone, i.e. she also expects him to be a part-time "housemaid" beside a sugar daddy.
@@givewarachance2001He’s a businessman and a smart one at that. He knows what will do better and what the majority of his audience wants so he caters to that. I respect that
My mum worked for CPS in the past, and you are correct: people want young kids. The younger, the better, for two reasons. One, it's easier to form parent/child relationships and avoid trauma (though even infants can have trauma, it's just percieved as less likely). Two, parental rights are terminated faster for babies to stabalize their future and avoid furthur trauma.
This! It can be very difficult to get a termination of parental rights approved by the courts, especially if at any point in time, the parent appears to be making a genuine effort. Also, kids over the age of 14 have to consent to their adoption. I have seen several cases where a 14-15 year old will have an adoptive resource but choose to pursue other options.
@@GhostRider-sc9vu lol, my mom did the same, only a few exceptions, im from mexico, so many food is made with chile, i dont like spicy food, so i wont eat it, my mom got aware of this, and made an small portion without chile for me and then cook for her and my sisters
@@edgargarcia5693 I don't mine making minor adjustments to something for someone. But if I have to make something 4 or 5 different ways for people it goes from a good time cooking, to a pain in my butt. So my brother, we lived together, now knows that when I make something you either eat it or make something for yourself.
I feel like the last story is just how dinner should work. Especially for kids in that age range, but even younger kids honestly. Have the option of eating what was cooked by the parent or have the tools and ingredients to make something for yourself if you don't want that. Sounds like a really good way to make sure that a good relationship is built with food as well as encourage learning how to cook and reasonable independence from a young age.
That's 100% how we do it with a 14 year old. I make whatever the adults want (usually it's my choice unless there's requests).. and there's always ramen, sandwich materials, cereal, TV dinners, and box meals of various sorts if that's not what they want. The rule is, you either make it well before I start cooking, or you have to wait until I'm done, because prepping meals for everyone in our small kitchen takes priority over one person's food preferences. More often than not, they'll figure out how to obtain optimum calories from a mixture of what I make.
As someone with very different diatariy needs than the rest of my family I'd say this is an ideal solution. If it's just picky eating, they'll likely go the lazy route of trying it anyways, if it's about really not wanting to eat it, you can make something to your tastes. And you learn basic life skills doing so.
@k.c.8662, I agree, and it is neither letting the kids run wild, nor being so Communist and draconian that you literally take the life out of your children (the world does it enough to them already, and adding to that is even more cruelty in their lives), that makes a good parent, but, rather, teaching them to think for themselves, encouraging their dreams, and letting them stand on their own two feet that truly makes adults in this world.
When I grew up I had 2 options: Eat whatever was in front of me or get my butt smacked and go hungry. A parent stressing over what to cook so that every single one of their 4 children will be pleased? I'm just baffled.
You'll be SURPRISED on how many will risk those $500 to abuse a foster kid. People get multiple kids just to get money. They will abuse and mistreat them and I sadly know first hand.
It's pretty common for foster parents to take on as many foster kids as Child Services will allow so they can use the kids as slave labour. This is particularly common when the foster parents own a business, especially agricultural or manufacturing.
It really is a shame just how broken the foster system is and how many terrible people are out there taking advantage of it. I hope you are happy now because you deserve to have happiness in your life.
@@rebeccajesse4604 the most broken thing about the foster system is that they will take a child from a loving home that just has problems getting enough money to provide for the kid and put the kid among strangers. and give the strangers money to provide for the kid.
Yep. The system is broken and needs a restart from the ground up. I had one pair who abused me in every possible way. The only thing that happened to them was losing their license in the state. But they left for a different state afterwards, so that punishment meant literally nothing.
There was a family who owned a ranch in Utah. They would take in a constant stream of foster kids and made sure they were fed and clothed and loved. The father would take them all out on the ranch and teach them life lessons and let them take their frustrations and angers from the world out on manual labor. The mother taught them all how to cook and maintain a home while doing some amazing gardening. They took the money the state gave them and put it into separate accounts to give to the kids who aged out. The only policy they had was “no adoption” it was weird but they took in several dozen kids over the years and most of them stayed multiple years and it became an unofficial group home/family. Last time I saw the couple was 2017 and almost all the foster kids come back for thanksgiving and Christmas every year and most of them are very successful. They had to stop fostering after close to 30 years because they wanted to retire and hang out with the grandkids. (They had 9 of their own kids too) honestly don’t know how they made it all work
I am an attorney for kids in the foster system. Foster parents who adopt get a monthly stipend for adopting. In Florida and post-secondary tuition is paid for former or aging out foster children (including adopted children). And, R/Slash is correct, 15 year old boys are among the most difficult to place and adopt. I loved, loved, loved this story. ❤
In many states (likely most) once adopted, there is no longer a subsudy given. However that sometimes changes for special needs kids. But in the case of this story, the subsudy likely ended when the foster arrangement ended.
Well, I can only speak about Florida as that's where I practice. However, the adoption subsidy is partially from federal Title IV-E funds, so I would hope most states are involved in that. We have turned into one of the most backwards states in the country, but that is one good thing we do. Also. the adoption from foster care is done at no cost to the parents. I am only posting this for the benefit of OP, so he does not have to feel like he is asking his caregivers to make a choice. I do not think a young man in foster care is going to know about these financial things - most of the adoptive parents I talk to don't know them. He should only have to be worried about school, friends, first love, first kiss, getting his driver permit, SATs, and beating his dad at basketball or video games.
The “book keeper” story… alarm bells went off in my head almost immediately about him being a narcissist. Then as the story went on I was more and more sure! OP’s response at the end was the best!!
I hope the guy has enough sense to let it go and not pursue OP any further. I can imagine her ending things and everyone siding with her has bruised his ego. I hope OP changes her locks and has cameras
Yeah, it was very obvious he didn't respect her or the work she did. She was always just a bookkeeper in his eyes. Who cares if she got a double masters or owns her own business, she's still just a bookkeeper and he's more important.
Her ex needs to go back to the army and learn some manners cause this behaviour was toxic. Op's family was right, he was an controlling freak, narcissist and sexist, he didn't value her work fair or rather saw it differently. My god her ex takes a golden metal for audacity, he dared to ask for money, he's good with the trash
@@lorilancaster5917so true, im definitely expecting faul play from him cause people like op's ex does let no one hurt their big ego especially when your ex is an retired army officer. Op better put some security to her home and always be prepared to the police, he will definitely try something bad
I adopted a 14 year boy out of the foster system. He was in the system for five years and he told us his plan was just to age out if he didn’t get adopted soon. He has had his struggles, and still does, but he graduated high school this last year (which is a miracle seeing as he has attended over 46 schools in his life, from elementary to high school), is pursuing a future, and is 100% my son. I am so happy for the kiddo in the first story for finding his family. Every child deserves to belong.
God bless you, i did not want kids my wife wanted three we had two, she left me they stayed with me that was in 1988 they are old now, i'm a grandpa and great grandpa!
I’m so happy you and your son found each other ❤ it sounds like that love and stability was exactly what he needed, and now you get to watch him grow with your support ❤❤
First Story: Wow this story is wholesome and it was so kind of OP's math teacher and her husband to be willing to step up and be OP's foster parents. I’m so glad that OP's teacher and her husband was willing to adopt OP, I hope they all have a happy life and be a happy family. Second Story: All that needs to be done here is communication and compromises. It seems like OP's girlfriend didn’t agree to these traditional gender roles (considering OP said he was assuming). Ohhhh, now I see this is more than just chores. OP's gf was basically using OP to make her life easier at the cost of making OP's life harder; yeah OP made the right choice in leaving her Comment: I agree, if my gf was making that much money I’d do the house work with no compaints Third Story, NTA: OP constantly asked her fiancé to stop calling her a bookkeeper and he continues to do so. OP's fiancé is blatantly disrespecting OP straight to her face. Wow this guy has a massive ego and narcssistic as hell; good on OP for getting rid of this guy. Lmao, like I said this man has a massive ego and narcissistic, I would’ve laughed in his face too Fourth Story: I have no doubts that dealing with picky eaters is a struggle and OP's decision might do some good. Lol, like I said it did some good. The kids eventually got tired of eating cereal and sandwiches all the time and now they aren’t so picky
The former military officer is feeling insecure, and using a bullying tactic to express his insecurity. Not everyone is that way, however. When I was in the OG USBP in 1998, the people that ran our firearms and PT for 6.5 months all used to be D.I.’s and Gunnies and treated all like Marine grunts in every possible way to include hell week, sand pits, etc. I met one of these in the later part of my career. When not in D.I. mode he was soft spoken, chill, and didn’t make long protracted syllables of over a decade prior.
It's a myth that bullies bully because they 'feel insecure'. Most bullies bully because they have an inflated ego and a giant sense of entitlement to go with it. My guess is that is also true in this case.
@survivedandthriving932 It's a myth that X is or isn't Y. This has got to be the laziest armchair expert line one could write. Especially if they don't provide sources for their information. Otherwise, it could very easily be made up.
Story 2: Meg Griffin said it best, “I don’t know why you’re such a freaking martyr all the time. It’s a *house* It’s a *finite area* you’re not cleaning a town!” Accusations of sexism be damned, she clearly doesn’t have a problem watching him work himself to death to build and fund the luxurious lifestyle she wants meanwhile she works part time ( *at his company* ) for fun money.
@@lorilancaster5917THIS! she makes 45k a year only working 25 hours a week! She could have paid off all her debts within a year but she probably spent all her money “treating herself” every single day. My cousin was like this. She’s now miserable and alone and the family constantly warns guys about how she is.
@@chelseaklinge5858actually they talked about getting a maid which may have worked for her until she spilled the beans about her credit card debt and how she expects OP to pay it off for her
Its speculation but i think someone was feeding her poison, since modern relationships assume that a traditional one is just inherently sexist ,when all of them are just toxic if you stay with a toxic person
This story is a knife in my heart. It hurts seeing children struggle like this. Especially when there are siblings involved because when it comes to siblings in foster care, the system conveniently has to split them up and there isn't a single foster home that can accommodate them all
The second story OP's partner is completely ungrateful. My husband doesn't make nearly as much as OP and I would never have the nerve to ask him to work two jobs like he already does and than do 50% of the housework. He needs a real woman.
And I’m tired of people claiming gender roles as an excuse to be lazy. A true woman holds the fort by any means necessary and never lets her partner down
It was this way with my parents, with my mother making the money and my father being a stay at home dad. I don't think it's about a "real woman" as much as "someone who is not a leech".
I am Autistic and a mother of children who are autistic and we all have eating preferences and this last story is a great idea for how I can get my control back on dinner.
I'm 20 and I'm autistic, and I struggle a lot with food. I recommend a nutritionist if you can, as they can work with your kids and help them find foods they're comfortable with but are also balanced. It's what I had to do to not eat only apple sauce for weeks. It'll help for when they are adults, too
Story 1 : Finally a story with a teacher who isn't a bully or just an overall bad person... op got incredibly lucky.. it's like hitting a full court buzzer beater 3 pointer with both his eyes closed ... Story 2 : you're not for each other.. she got what she wanted and still "it's not enough " for her... Update : good choice leaving "it"..op be careful of your ex she will most likely make up stuff to your boss and try to get you fired.. Story 3 : NTA.. The fiancee has zero respect for op and op life..my dad is a military man and he would hate this toolbox..when my dad in 1969 meet my mom she was a teacher and he was in the military he was nothing but supportive.. This has nothing to do with the military rslash the guy is just a useless jerk.. Update : good on op for leaving this tool.. op family sounds like theyre great people. Story 4 : If this was the house i grew up in or the when my kids were yiunger its " Eat whats on the table or starve".. Op kids are super lucky. Update : Good choice kids..good choice..
storie 3: he isn't military whatever,he is just that type of abusive person who diminish their partner because they know they can do better,so they hit the self-esteem and try to make themselves like they being supportive. the thing is , because op is so successful and have a good support system, that didn't work, not to mention he is incredibly bad at it
@@Itherious They were fet the entire time, the parents made sure that they weren't malnourished. That is neither neglectful nor abusive. Also feeding yourself is a basic life skill that children should learn.
Story 2: Ok, so, as a person that doesn't currently contribute much to my family's finances, I feel like it's my duty to take on more of the household work, because it needs to be done anyway. This guy is severely underappreciated. :( Edit: Fuck, the update is just insane. Ending that relationship was the best option.
@@abiean222 yes and move to a nice apartment close to work so somebody else can take care of maintenance concerns at his place. I also hope he gets therapy and do anything necessary to feel better mentally since getting rid of his toxic was just the first step.
That last one about picky kids is probably a lot more helpful to others than you realize. My little brother would always want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead of chicken. And it would be like that every night.
For the accountant: introduce your fiancé as prior ENLISTED. He’ll spend a moment in your shoes and guaranteed won’t like it. Then bounce. Great job on your accomplishments! I can relate, as it took 20 years for me to complete 2 AAs, a BS, and an MA. You should absolutely be proud! For that sweet adoptee, CONGRATULATIONS!! 💜💜
First story: His PARENTS are not terrible people. His PARENTS being the doctor and teacher. The scum that BIRTHED him are terrible people. Important difference
Story 2: Sheeeeeiiiiiit, if my lady made that much money and bought me a house, boat and pool, she wouldn't have anything to worry about when she got home except finding the recliner and waiting for me to bring her dinner and give her a foot massage after she eats.
Don't forget the BMW lmao! And also a cushy nepotism job that pays the same as the old job for only 25 hours of work a week, which you can basically do anything with the money as you have little to nothing to pay for. And even with that, she still had 15k debt after 2 years of being with him lmao, he dodged a massive bullet...
The second story has a portion that isn’t being shared. Here’s my theory. She has a side piece that she was getting busy with. She wanted sugar daddy to pay for everything and she fundamentally disrespects him and thinks he is a fool. He’s smart to dump her butt.
I didn't think of that,(because I'm not like her), but that's one theory.. nasty piece of poo .. using this good guy.. I'd be living the life and being happy doing chores, if I'd have a life like that . She was stupid..and is... She'll try crawling back for sure once the reality hits her hard...
Story 3: it sounds like you were his meal ticket and that why in private he was so nice to you, but didn't want people that think you were more successful than him so would down play all of your success in front of people. All he cared about was the money you would bring him, he's so pathetic he tried to squeeze money out of you at the end of the relationship with a sad excuse. I say block him and move on, there are tons of better men out there.
Yeah it definitely sounds like he was trying to break her mentally. Sorry she wasted seven years on this scum but she’s strong, smart, and successful. I think we all should have a drink in her honor. *After work hours. Please drink responsibly.*
if someone doesn't support you in public then it doesn't matter if they support you in private, because all that really means is they don't support you at all and are just pretending to do so.
My family situation is similar to the first story. Only it was my best friends parents not a teacher. There's honestly no greater feeling of love and relief then when your chosen family makes it clear they choose you too
Aw I love that. My parents didn't have the means to give me everything I needed because we were poor and my mom had tons of medical issues. I love my parents and I don't hold it against them. That said, I oftentimes went over to a friend's house and at one point her family basically became my second family. I haven't seen or talked them in a while since the last time was before I was forced to move in with my dad's toxic parents at 14. Maybe one of these days if I see them outside (they live on my block) I'll chat with them or at least say hello. Though my situation is different, having those people in your life is wonderful.
The third story is a little ironic for me-my boyfriend got upset with me for telling his friend that I worked as a bookkeeper and office manager, instead of my career as an opera singer with a degree and everything. But it was true-Covid had broken out, I had to leave Europe to head home, and so I got a job doing some accounting work while all the theatres were shut down. So I wasn’t an opera singer at the time. He never said why he was upset over that. Lol.
OP in the third story has a very supportive family! And the fourth story, it brought back memories of my picky eating days. My mom simply said that if I wasn't gonna eat what she cooked, I wasn't going to eat at all and that made me eat.
oh man the first story reminded me of Matilda, when she ended up getting adopted by the teacher she loved and man it just warms your heart to see kids who started with an unloving family ends up with a better one through adoption
Not really for me. The laughing mid-story kinda gets annoying after awhile and the emotional outbursts kinda break the emersion. Also I wish he’d find a better word for “asshole” other than “butthole”.
The last story hits home in the best way possible! If I wanted to eat something specific, it was up to me to decide how and when to prepare it. It made my life as a young adult way, way easier, because of the extra experience I got cooking as a teen. Parents, have your kids start cooking as early as you deem it safe. Their adult selves will thank you for it.
She does not represent all women and I hope OP knows this. Whose betting OP will sell the house he didn’t want, move into a nice apartment where someone else handles the maintenance, sells the boat, work less hours, and attend therapy?
Story 2: OP got caught by one of those woman who want the benefis of a traditional man whilst being a modern woman. No splitting half the housework: his +300k salary is his half the relationship.
As a man, I used to think this type of behavior was something *some women would do, but I've definitely seen the tides turn. Now there are just as many men who are trying to be a stay-at-home man, who sit around and play video games all day long and don't do a lick of housework. I'm not sure where people have gotten the idea that only one person has to contribute to the relationship, while the other one lives a life of luxury but it has got to stop.
If he was a slob, that 300k means Jack sh.. but sounds like he isn't and they have different ideas of what traditional means... her it is being a kept woman.
Story2: Geez. I grew up in a traditional working dad stay at home mom household, and that's just ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, mom and dad still get into occasional arguments of him not putting his dirty dishes away, but he still knows how to do laundry and took care of me and my brother when we were small. His job also allowed us to travel and it definitely wasn't a 70 hour a week job. I will say the husband's insistence of having the kids homeschooled was a bit unreasonable as my mom had her own daytime hobbies, some of it involving our school activities. I get asking for some help around the house, but it sounds like between the 70 hour job and fixing stuff (a BOAT!) he's already doing quite a lot and it sounds like the wife is in it for OP's money. Traditional household roles CAN work, but the expectations need to be established early on.
Try being a doctor being introduced as a nurse because you're a woman. Because they never do that to my male colleagues. Just my female ones and myself. Even when they know we're doctors Edit nothing wrong with nurses. The backbone of health care couldn't do my job without them. But I'm not a nurse. I'm a doctor.
That last story - I'm an only child, and my mum's always had this attitude. So long as I at least taste the food first, she'd cook me something else if I didn't like it. (at the time, had undiagnosed autism so food was always hard to navigate.) As I got older, it became I could eat what she cooked (which she'd often ask me about first), or I could cook my own dinner.
I have been a foster parent for the last 4 years and want to encourage anyone that has the space in their house and in their heart to consider fostering. older children have a hard time being placed and don't require midnight feeding. It's not always easy, but to give a child safety and love is very special. 😢
The second story was the reason I broke up with my ex. I paid all the bills, AND she expected me to do all the housework. The breaking point was when she disrespected me at a restaurant in front of her friends to such an extent that our and the surrounding tables went quiet.
the second story, glad to see the man came to his senses and saw that she was using him for his money and nothing else. Bravo dude, you dodged a bullet
Hey Rslash. I, and occasionally my husband listen to your videos every day and it helps start my morning the right way. So thank you and keep up the good work!
I lost my sh*t when I heard Two Hot Takes. I’d luv to see Dabney and Morgan doing an episode together. I feel like that would be the best videos on both channels ever. Luv u r/slash. I’ve listened to every video. Never missed a day. Keep on being amazing. Oh and a big hello from Baltimore!
Last story: I'm an adult with autism, and I struggle a lot with food. If you have a kid who also struggles with food and does not want to eat anything because they hate it, having them cook themselves is a great idea. But if you can afford it, a nutritionist on top of that to help them find balanced meals that they love is highly recommended. It'll help them for when they are adults, too.
The story at about 7 minutes in? Girl wanted "day time hobbies" once she became a mom? 😂😂😂 ahhh, that's a good one. Top tier comedy gold right there 👌 (You get back to those eventually, but certainly not within the first year and not at the same capacity. Speaking from experience...)
I've been applying to a bunch of jobs after recently graduating from University. Your videos have helped me keep my mind off of the stress I'm facing in starting this next chapter of my life. Thank you.
My sister used to be in a similar situation like the dad in the last story - cooking four different meals every single day (her two boys were picky eaters, her husband has medical issues and she didn't want anything "too complicated" for herself; probably because she was too tired to choose for herself in the end). While the older son decided from day to day anew if he was going to be vegetarian - meat eating - vegan - meat eating again, the younger one was a bit more... let's say on the difficult side of getting to eat things of nutritional value as a kid. He ultimately decided on *wieners with Nutella* and would refuse to eat anything else to the point of near starvation, regardless of what was tried and offered. It lasted almost a year long, until he decided, spaghetti was fine... with Nutella. Finally she could bring him to eat bland potatoes with wieners and ketchup, but it was quite a fight with a very stubborn kid (probably his Dad - not the husband mentioned above - allowed him to eat all the junk he wanted when he was visiting, it only got better many years later).
S1: If a foster kid is any older than a literal infant (i.e. less than 1 year old), the chances for adoption are already near-zero. Most people don't have enough love in their hearts to adopt broken, traumatized children, and the effects of severe trauma can manifest as early as 18 months. To a child, being taken away from their parents, even if the parents are abusive or neglectful, is severely traumatizing.
Foster parent here. I'm not sure what the stipulations are elsewhere, but in NY State, foster kids are considered "hard to place" cases when the kid has special needs or is 3+ years old. Apparently, anything beyond a toddler is not desirable for most foster or potential adoptive parents, which is immensely sad (my foster daughter is 5 and is in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD, so she would have had a tough time finding placement, too). Obviously, the money doesn't matter to good people, but to clear it up for OP, depending on where he is, his foster parents will continue to receive stipends for his care from DSS until he's an adult because again, he's a hard-to-place case. They also probably make a higher stipend for the same reason. But buddy, even the $900-something that we get per month for a hard-to-place kid isn't enough to be the reason why a good person would keep her or you. They love you. Believe it.
Story 2: Did you guys not discuss this before? If so, and she’s changing the goal-posts, you have an impossible-to please harpy, and you should ditch her for someone who would value that $320k. Oh-I just heard about the debt and the house, the car, and all these other favours. Stick her in a flat, and sell the house for something you want.
Thanks a lot Rslash, im walking home from work in tears agter lisewbing to that first story. I was adopted and its a LOT harder for older kiddos to be adopted. This story got me right in the feels. I love hearing the occasional wholesome story, its a nice lil break from all the karens, entitled people and the "wtf" stories we are so used to hearing. Thank you for what you do!
Which makes the whole foster care system seem like monsters. I’m sure there are plenty of kind and caring foster families but all you hear about are the ones who aren’t
One thing I've promised myself one day is to foster. I don't care for the money. I care about a child having a safe, nurturing, loving and supporting environment to help them become the best version of themselves. I'd do whatever I needed to to help them - set them up with therapists, set up activities to help build their confidence, spend as much time as needed for them to feel comfortable with me, make things together to help them express themselves to me... There's so many kids that need that kind of love, care and support. And yet, foster families care more about the cash they get. Not the child. I remember seeing a foster child being constantly excluded from playing by his foster parents for playing "too rough" at my old church. It was just typical roughhousing. He'd get growled at by his foster family for any minor transgression they saw. During one of those exclusions, I sat with him and invented a game on the spot (made out of the observe, describe, participate DBT skill). He'd tell me a vivid description of what he saw and I'd guess it. He loved the game so much that he wouldn't go back to playing with the kids.
I love the wholesome stories a lot, they help restore the balance from the stories with terrible people in them. You're doing great R/Slash, keep up the nice work!
Story 2: OP obviously dodged a bullet but... Dude almost has no life besides work. WHY does he want kids? Just so he can say that he has them? It doesn't matter how many hours he works - if he's a father he needs to take care of his kids too. Not just dump them on his partner because he works too much and doesn't have time. His kids will see him as their mother's roommate who pays for all stuff.
That second story about the house chores, but moreso about the "I got X, which she wanted" really resonated with me. Don't sacrifice you happiness for someone else. You will only end up miserable. Happiness is our own responsibility. Without going into detail, the term "happy wife, happy life" is a toxic lie, and this guy paid the price.
No. The second they laid down their wants, (her a provider/him a money maker) she should’ve quit her job. For him to expect her to work and be (what he doesn’t call but is) a single mother is insanely sexist.
The fact that she would *GASP* care for her and their children long enough for her to have a hobby? WTF? Yet he wants to go to the gym and have some time to breathe and relax. You mean like a hobby?
Story 3: Do you know how much someone needs to HATE another person to go out and buy champagne when they don’t need to interact with them anymore? Op you’re SOOO NTA and im really glad you ditched this loser.
And I’m glad her family has her back. Maybe she can take them on a family vacation and make sure her ex sees the pics to let him know what he’s missing?
The first story is a real life Matilda. Minus the psychic powers. Edit: Story 3, OP's fiancé sounds like a major case of jealousy because she's more successful than him. She's so much better off without him.
Exactly! If I had someone making that much money with basically everything I could ever want, you'd bet I'd be doing everything to make their life better and easier. It's not about gender stereotypes, it's about what each party brings to the table. People always want something for nothing.
Aw man, that second story. I instantly started thinking "Why are you with her and why are you thinking about having kids with her?" Glad he came to his senses and dumped her gold digging ass.
Hoping everyone has a pleasant day/night, remember to hydrate, take any meds your on and eat. Also remember that there is good in the world, not everything is bad. Love, Lilith :)
Good Lord the guy making $320K dodged a bullet by reading the signs of this womans entitlement and greed. Imagine had they married and divorce would follow along with things like alimony and possibly child support not to mention she is unlikely to fade away quietly into the past.
About the last story: My brothers and I grew up with the "one bite rule." Basically, you have to eat one bite of whatever is on your plate, and if you don't like it, you don't have to eat the rest of it. We grew up enjoying much wider food palettes than most kids, and continue to this day.
Second story is literally my current living situation and my GF who works about 25 hrs part time has no problem cleaning the house knowing I do the yardwork and pay all the bills. She gets to keep whatever she makes to buy extra things she like (particularly candles) and I don't have to worry about house cleaning other than doing my own laundry. She loves the free time with our two dogs and only spends maybe a full day combined cleaning every week.
I have a friend who grew up in foster care from when he was a baby to when he aged out. The thing he told me that always breaks my heart to think about is “generally if you’re not adopted by the time you’re 7 you start having to make your peace with the fact it’s almost guaranteed you won’t be.”
That last story reminded me of a commercial I once saw, where a child was having a tantrum in a store because he wasn't allowed that bag of chips and then his mother copied him (Vic's First Defence). Awesome story!
As somebody who was adopted from foster care at the age of 7, my parents continued to be given money from the government every month until I turned 18.
I have an established rule at my house for my kids. You have to try one bite of what I made for dinner. If you don’t like it, you’re free to make yourself a sandwich. I found that when they know they are free to not like something without me getting upset or making them eat it, they’re much more willing to try things they otherwise wouldn’t. Plus it takes away the pride factor of them not wanting to admit they were wrong about not liking something after they spent 10 minutes insisting they hated it before they even took a bite lol Now they know if they really don’t think they’ll like something it’s easier to just take a quick bite and then get to making a pb&j. There’s no point in making a big deal about it. Funnily enough, they all eat way more of the food I cook now than before i implemented the rule. I think picky eating can SOMETIMES be more about agency than the actual food itself.
Wholesome story about a kid being rescued from a bad situation by their teacher. Rslash: let's make the thumbnail a sexy teacher with a caption to call her mommy.
My number one rule when dating someone is that my presence in their life should make their life better and vice versa. There are moments when you can't make their life better like if you get sick but for the most part my rule stands. Edit: the bookkeeper story is a good example of when you aren't doing anything wrong but it becomes wrong when someone asks you to stop. There was a girl I would talk to you for like an hour or more after work all the time and there's nothing wrong with that I mean if you have a crush on someone imagine getting to talk to them for an hour that would be awesome right well she didn't actually like it so eventually I had to convince her to tell me she didn't like it and then I backed off. If you're dating someone you should always try to make their life better and even if you're not doing anything wrong if they want you to do something different you should try to do it if at all possible. Heck this goes for any human interaction not just dating.
