r/Maliciouscompliance "OBEY ME" "It'll Cost You Thousands, But Sure!" 

They guy who only cracked the knuckles on one hand is a legend on his own right. He kept that going for like 60 years just to prove a point to his mom.

If someone is giving you a hard time over IDing for adult products, just operate under the assumption that it's a mystery shopper sent by the store or police testing you for ID compliance.

When are people finally gonna realize to not mess with the IT guy

Fun fact: Any type law enforcement employees are not allowed to wear their uniform while buying alcohol or alcoholic beverages at all. It will end up in them loosing their jobs most of the time.

"I'm old enough to be a Police Officer" Honey, I couldn't care less if you're old enough to be the Queen's Grandmother. No ID, no Drink. The Law IS the Law, remember? *Surprise Pikachu Face*

Just FYI, if your company doesn’t record phone calls, document the entire call and any requests and then send it all in email. So, for example, “hey so and so, so to recap today’s meeting and to clarify all requests, you want me to do this list of things to achieve this outcome?” Or whatever. And request read receipts and responses. This protects you from people who are constantly changing their minds and blaming you for not doing what was never asked. Most people will know what is going on when they see this email, but by then it’s too late. The email trail has been blazed. Whatever they do, even if it’s nothing, I’d a decided choice of action on THEIR PART.

That last one... OP's mom has got to be a teacher.

Dentist IT guy: IM GONNA SUE ALL OF YOU FOR THE PREMIUM LICENCED EMAILS I ASKED YOU TO MAKE! Owner: and I took that personally

Wait wait wait.... all I could focus on in the cracked knuckles story and how rSlash kept pronouncing "arthur-itis".

Everyone: "arthritis" Rslash: nah I'm not about that lifestyle

Two people to never mess with the IT guy and the guy making your food

In the IT industry, rude AF clients are far too common. Nice and respectful clients are far too rare... which is 1 hell of a shame

"Make love to his email systems" Uh...several questions.

Yeah, asked my doctor if cracking your knuckles is proven to lead to arthritis. Doctor laughed and went; “NOPE!” My Mom did not enjoy this moment, but I sure did!

Who else started cracking their knuckles through that whole last story? LOL

got posted in the right moment :) was just about to start cooking

Going to college for a master's degree... Fired from job, becomes professional RU-vidr... Married, becomes father... Anyone else here wanting an rSlash autobiography video? 🤔

That last one warmed my heart. It was set up to be less than pleasant but did a complete 180 and I love it

What i don't understand is why rSlash adlibs what is written down (or leaves stuff out). It goes sometimes I am looking up from what I am doing and all of a sudden I see him skips chunks of text.

"Never mess with the IT guys" is so true... I had a good relationship with the IT guy at my first job at a travel agency. I was in the reservations department and mistakes on reservations could be done very easily, this was 24 years ago, so not many people knew how computers and programs worked. I was called by my boss one afternoon and was told I had made a mistake in a reservation and that the cost of fixing it for our clients was around 350 USD, like three months salary. I was pregnant, just about to take maternity leave which would reduce my salary way too much and I would have to work for free for many months. I was sure I hadn't made any mistake. I remembered I had written lots of notes on that reservation with the authorization of the operations manager and the deadlines she had given but suddenly there were no notes. I spoke to the IT guy and asked him to please check what had happened with that reservation. It took a little convincing but he did. A couple hours later, he came to my station with a bunch of prints with the history of my reservation. It showed who opened it, when, what time and most importantly, all the changes that had been made. I was able to prove it wasn't my fault or my mistake. It was from the operations manager assistant. She decided she could make decisions without the manager's authorization. She was charged the 350 dollars, she was demoted and was fired as soon as she paid for that mistake. Done people called me AH for calling her out, but I don't think it was fair for me when I was about to have my daughter, so yeah, it was good I didn't need with the IT guy :)

Always on time and just what I needed. I'm struggling/fighting a Sickle cell pain crisis in my knee right now, and need stuff to distract me from the pain. Thanks for uploading rSlash.

Not only should you never mess with the IT person, if a seller/service provider tells you you can or should pay less or not buy about something they make money off of - listen to them!

RE: the maintenance mechanic. At the end of my 30-year active duty career I was managing 40,000 man hours per year with a zero failure rate. One lesson I had learned along the way was this: Try to avoid interfering with the person who is getting the job done!

rSlash: *Posts 15 Minutes Ago* Me: Cue Malicious Compliance!

From Fresh, I have learned that if I’m gonna lie about someone, don’t @ them. From Rslash, I have learned never to mess with the IT guy. I have gained true wisdom

I have since moved out of state, but I worked for a really shady finance company for about 7 months. Worst 7 months of my life. The more I worked there, the more miserable I became. I read reviews online about this place (FINALLY), and waited it out until I got another job, quit, and never looked back. Throughout my time there, I had told my husband that this place will close, get sued, get totally wrecked by the Better Business Bureau, etc. It may have taken a few years, but it finally shut down, and I would drive by and laugh and laugh and laugh. I knew it!

"You brat!" "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I actually cried out, "Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" when I heard this!

I loved the mom story, I lost my mom a few years ago when I was in middle school and hearing funny and wholesome stories like that fill my heart with so much joy

My mom would also say cracking your knuckles gave you arthritis, while rotating her wrist to pop it

You can tell the bar story was in America. I was raised by pub landlords and enthusiastic drinkers. Bar etiquette says: if there is less than a full measure left in the bottle after a full measure is taken. You give the customer that too, free of charge. The reputation for being generous is worth more than half a measure of spirits

16 seconds. I look forward to these everyday.

I crack my knuckles (and most other joints that move) so much that a close friend says I was reincarnated from popcorn... they feel stiff / tight if I DON’T crack them...

That last story made me want to cry. Just because a parent can be annoying doesn’t mean you love them any less.

Fact: The uploader of the video is always earlier than you. Therefore, you're always the first to be late.

The IT guys, the secretary, the caretaker and the chef The holy quadrology of people you *never* mess with

Between "don't mess with the IT guy" and Tree Law, these videos are a riot.

the most annoying thing ever is when customers press buttons without reading or listening to what I'm saying, and then I'm forced to waste both of our time and to repeat what I was saying and redo that step of the transaction. I hate it.

The pop you hear when you crack your knuckles is the releasing of synovial fluid into the joints and expelling air pockets. This is actually healthy for your joints as it keeps them lubricated. It is gross so I can understand why some people don't like hearing it, but it most certainly won't give you arthritis, that's an old wives tale. My mother used to sing the same tune.

LOL. I love the way r/slash pronounces "arthritis." Is he from Georgia or Texas?

R/maliciouscompliance, where every workplace is both petty and toxic and there is a wholesome story somewhere in there, you just need to find Atlantis first before you even get enough experience to find it.

In the office 365 story, I'm willing to bet anything the IT director at the dentist office was a "Microsoft certified specialist" which means he probably was getting a cut from each license that he sold.

Oh that first OP I totally feel his pain. i have had those customers as well. Meddlers who seem to think their way is the only way, and since they're not the ones footing the bill, their overkill way is the only way. I'm honestly shocked this jerk didnt just go to the E5 licenses for everyone. He seems like a jerkhole control freak who would want to block everything, encrypt everything, control when people got system updates because the "stupid users" couldnt do anything without his godly help. Gods I hate those types. Kudos to the dental company owner for being a good kind person though. Silver lining and all!

Malicious compliance is perfect when someone goes o a power trip... leaves a paper trail... and then tries to blame you for it 😂😂😂

Yknow, with the story of that woman berating the server about the Law is the Law, I thought OP would've had the same situation of pouring her drink and there being a little bit left in the bottle, then the annoying customer would just tell OP to pour her the last bit and then they'd retort with what she said to OP before about it being illegal.

The first story reminds me of one of the rules of acquisition: Good coustomers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them.

That cigar story, I think it's very likely that the customer actually didn't know the other guy, and was just buying cigarettes for him. It's pretty common for teens to hang out around gas stations and ask people to go in and buy stuff for them, handing them cash to do so. Likewise, that's probably why they had that policy in the first place

Not just "Don't mess with IT", if you hire someone for a job, listen to them and LET THEM DO THE JOB YOU PAY THEM FOR!

wholesome last story, love it

I also love cracking my knuckle, and my mother also hates it so much and saying it will give me arthritis. So I asked my mom what is arthritis? She said she didn't know and just citing it from some article on the internet .

As a soon to be IT guy, I can confirm, DO NOT Mess with the IT guy!

I saw the title and my brain went: *”Oh baby! Obey me!”*

I love stories where cops are put in their place when trying to exercise their non existent "special rights and privileges"

I worked as an IT helpdesk contractor for a power company in their call center. I heard a story that the reason people were so polite on the phone was because one time an employee cussed and berated a helpdesk analyst on the phone that sent her to tears. The call center manager made a copy of the call, left the office, and personally drove to the next state over to this person's office just so she could personally play the call recording to this person's boss. That person was fired before the end of the day. Do. Not. Fuck. With. I.T.

I had a very similar story to the ID one. I asked for ID from all 3 people in a group. One was under age and ai denied the sale. The guy in the group PULLED OUT A KNIFE and said " I feel like stabbing this fucker right here." I had a confidence that only drugs will give you. I just kinda scoffed and told him to put it away. They eventually did amd I called the cops. They got there 10 minutes later and the people were sitting at the bus stop right in front of our store the whole time. He got arrested.

I worked security at a hotel, and we're not supposed to let anyone in without them showing a room key after a certain time due to the area we are located in. One night two guys who appear to have had some drinks come into the hotel and I give them the standard "Hello there, do you have a room key to show?" One of them gets annoyed whispers to his friend "Watch this." He flashes his police badge and goes "How's that? Huh? Is that good enough?" I stared blankly at the badge, then back at him and I say "That's cool. I still need to see a room key." Which prompts his friend and the doorman to laugh at him, as he begrudgingly shows me his room key. I thanked him and he and his very amused friend went up to their room.

It’s so painful when execs/managers throw their weight around by limiting tech specialists for arbitrary reasons.

Loved the last story. My mom gets annoyed when I too crack my knuckles.

Day 8 of telling him that he makes everyones day bright

I love that last story because yesterday I had to lecture my manager on the same thing 🤣

Loved the story about the dad starting his own shop. I got fired once for arguing with a supervisor which I did often because I knew better than them. I was running the department almost by myself on 3rd shift to boot. One guy on each shift. I even wrote the SOP for the department. After I got fired, they used my SOP to advertise the job. And they had to get 2 people on each shift to make up for all the work I was doing. Instead of letting me do things my way, they are now paying 3 more people than before to keep up with everything I was doing

Damn, that mom making her kid write an essay over cracking knuckles, like, get a grip lady. That's quite over-kill over something so small.

Love hearing stories where people like that woman get their due.

8:00-10:00 Pro tip to supervisors, managers and business owners: Do not scorn the people who's hard work keeps your business running.

The way you say arthritis 😂😂😂😂 "arthur ritis"🤣🤣

Ayo, knuckle-cracking OP, imma need that essay because my mom gets on my case about the same thing lol

Just cracked my knuckle after listening to the last story.

I suffer from Misophonia, so noises like knuckle cracking, chewing noises, nail biting, pen clicking, etc, really irritate me. When they're done to intentionally annoy me I become very agitated and even violent in a few cases. I can't even share a room with my husband and sleep with a large fan going full blast because the slightest noise will wake me up. Oddly enough, the trains shunting on the tracks next to my apartment building don't wake me up at all and if I'm away from home somewhere without trains going by I can't sleep at all.

its oddly sweet to hear the karen voice in a story where op clearly really loves her.

nothing is more satisfying than people having to deal with their own ignorant, unnecessary, and/or uninformed “rules”, lol

The first story I'd bet OP is from the South with that "Bless your heart" 😂😂😂

Getting the calls recorded is all well and good. But sometimes getting things in writing is better. If nothing else, it forces the customer to read what they are asking for.

I saw, I clicked, and I had a good friken morning! Thanks R/slash!

I completely understand the urge to go past places where you've suffered. It's not a bad workplace, but whenever I drive past the pole I crashed my car into this one time, I flip it off as an "I lived, bitch". Then I flip off the business down the road; I never worked there, but they donate to groups that discriminate against me, so screw them.

That arthritis story almost got tears out of me at the end

I asked a cop for his ID at work just because we are supposed to id anyone who looks under 30. He was more than happy to and said I was the only one to ever Id him, I just wanted to make sure cuz I value my job. Lo and behold it was an actual id check and I got a gift card even though he was obviously old enough

Haven't seen it but already know its amazing

My response to, "I want you to write a 2 page essay..." would have been, "Want in one hand and sh*t in the other and see which one fills up first."

Mom: you brat!! OP: why do I gotta be a brat for telling the truth??? 😜

After that last story, I cracked my knuckles.

"She's trying to teach me a lesson, but mom's got arthritis. She can't do that!"

I worked at this local retail store for around 7 years. For the first 4 it was pretty cool. Good workers. Good customers. Great everything. Here and there they’d make some weird choice but it is what it is. The other 3 years tho. Got more serious. New district manager was a pain. My once cool boss became less and less reasonable. My coworkers and customers thank god were still fine. I think what finally broke the camels back tho was the day I quit. It was Labor Day weekend. Saturday. Which is usually our busiest day to begin with but now adding the holiday rush. I had to get ads out, focus on all the back stock, and deal with customers. This usually wouldn’t be a big deal but my boss changed the schedule last second. Originally it was meant to be me, the new cashier, and back up. This would have worked. Yet they told my back up that they didn’t have to come in because they were cutting hours. I was livid. I called by boss wanting to know why they couldn’t work when this was such a stressful day to begin with. That I wouldn’t be able to get near anything done if I had to keep helping the new guy. All I asked was a little respect for working there for 7 years. They tell me it’s not their problem and that I’d have to deal with it. Excuse me? Not your problem? Not the manager of the stores problem to man the store? This was beyond all the times she denied me a better position. Beyond reason pay or health care. (I went from 5.50 to 10 in 7 fuckin years, they’re lucky I lasted so long.) So I had enough. Told her that it was her problem because I was going home and that was it. I left and eventually got a better job. The store used to be number one in our district and was one of the most valued store in the local community. A lot of people relied on it. Apparently not long after I left the store went to shit. The boss quit for awhile and now it’s so bad they’ve had to hire 5 plus new managers over time and it still isn’t as good as it used to be. For reference I eventually made peace with my old boss and everything is cool. It’s just funny how a store that was doing so well went down the shit because one or two employees left. They’ll never fix that store because they’re too hard headed to do it properly.

the mechanic story: i laughed too, because think of the irony, fire the guy keeping you in business, who then starts his own business that puts your business out of business.......ah the classic "play stupid games win stupid prizes", lol

“I want you to write a two page essay on-“ “Not happening Mom.”

10:16 I think this is a papa John's because most order before opening aren't ready until after 11:00 am

Re: 12:58 - Way back in 2006, when the government started regulating purchases of medications containing pseudoephedrine, the first year was hell for me as I worked in a major pharmacy retailer. We had to write down everyone's name, date of birth, and addresse, in a log book by hand. People hated having the run of the mill store associates ID people for something as common as cold or allergy medication. One time I had a cop who tried to buy one such medication and all he showed me for ID was his badge. Sadly, that wasn't good enough, but he got so pissed that he showed me his holstered gun and said "I'M A COP." Even though the badge alone convinced me, a service weapon still doesn't constitute ID. I had to tell a police officer that it was a federal law and I needed to see a state issued photo ID. He left without further argument, but man this story still makes me cringe.

Yes nothing says "I love you mom" then calling her out on her hypocrisy

I have to point out that in some parts of the US, "Bless his/her/your heart," is often sarcasm.

The only thing we did at our store, was not card the front end cashiers because you need to be 21 to even get the job.

RSlash cut a great like from the chewing out bit, the full line is "Chews him out (we think, it was mostly in Italian so my dad wasn't picking up on it, but the tone indicated as much)"

Ye

10:14 no, the employee is NOT allowed to tell the customer it won't be ready until 11.

13:41 as far as I know, knuckle cracking is completely harmless and won't cause arthritis. You're just popping air bubbles

Instead of going on about knuckle cracking and arthritis, Mom could have said, "Look, I'd like to let go of a loud fart sometimes, but I don't want to subject you to the noise and smell so I go to the rest room. You know that I don't enjoy hearing your knuckles cracking, so please step out of my hearing when the urge hits you, there's a dear."

I have a family history of severe arthritis. Guess it's a good thing I obsessively pop every joint in my body!

Normal People: “Arthritis” R/Slash: “Arther-itis”

12 seconds after posting! Wow! I feel like the Flash I got here so quick lol

Love ur videos it make my day way easier at work because I can listen about terrible people while working with terrible people keep up the great work thank you

"never mess with the IT guys"... Even if you yourself are IT. If you're dealing with external IT people, it means you're bad at your job.

13:13 reminds me of a cop from that one animated show who is so hypocritical it's on the nose

Never clicked so fast in my life.