r/Relationships I Got a Paternity Test on My 4 Kids and... 

rSlash sup

To be fair you could RU-vid is shut down

Moon WolfHunter no it would get demonetized and probably age restricted upon release

Nuke the channel from orbit just to be sure

Yee

He's not a virgin, only the guilty act that way

I was just about to say this!! A major bullet dodged!!

Given that the ex fiance slapped her even before they were married, one could bet that he would have abused her much worse once they were married. She did the smart thing and left him. Unfortunately, some women would cave in to pressure and they end up in a lifetime of abuse from the husband AND his family. Because she would be seen as their joint "property".

Not only that, she had no idea what they were going to do to her. For all she knew, the "purity test" might've actually been just an excuse to "break her in" and put her in a position to be gang raped.

@@citadelofwinds1564 you know, it’s not just women who are abused, and more men than women don’t admit to being abused. I’m not saying you said anything bad, I’m just reminding

yep

It’s sad, he posted an update at the beginning of March and the wife committed suicide by overdose

@@neomphahlele6922 well thats an awful end to an already awful story...

Neo Mphahlele wait really could u find a link

@@eka-px6dw www.reddit.com/user/Needadvicedesperate/comments/fbofgb/final_update/

Your comment reminds me of this: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WXvciKOS8hQ.html LOL!

That was a whole ass apocalypse and post apocalypse scenario

More like she dodged a giant finger

TRUE

SilverlonewolfX Hahaha LOL

that ceremony is to do one thing and one thing only, put fear into the woman and make her subservient.

That family I wish basically never reproduced or adopted

Really though. The SOB's response to having a conversation about it is to slap her? Goooodbye.

@@GuruishMike I may even go as far as call the police. What he did is assault, and even if there wasn't enough evidence (he said, she said), it starts a paper trail.

it's probably a cultural thing, sounds to me like the dude might be middle eastern. Over there they have gynecologists do hymen verifications before marriages. Its the expectation. (this is an Assumption)

quiss piss I’ve only seen this in america tbh

@@sparkybolt2085 yeah throw his ass in jail and shame him.

That's borderline rape.

@@LifeIsAHighwayIAmACarCrash makes me think it's just a way for the dad to let out his pervy side without being weird

it is sadly way too common is some cultures... that and genital mutilation should be punished by law everywhere both male and female, i don't care about your creed, it is abusive

Abuse*

Galactic, you are very much wrong. That is not sexual harassment (maybe the constant pressure of the fiance was, but not the father part). That could constitute as sexual assault... which is worse. Harassment is constituted of two things: 1) repetitive/constant behavior, almost methodical, and 2) no actual physical harm being done. Since what the father would have done was a one-time thing, then it WILL NEVER be harassment. But, since he would have inflicted psychological and possibly physical damage to her (depending what would have been done), then he would have assaulted her, especially because she was against this (this is actually very important, since the assault is actually considered assault when the victim never really asked for the act, or was coerced into it. If the victim was completely willing for it, then it becomes a bit problematic to catalog it as assault. After all, some people are into some kinky stuff.) It wouldn't have been rape either, since there would have been no intercourse (though I heard there is another kind of rape that does not involve intercourse, but I'd need to check on that). So, according to this, and the fact he did not give a shit about what she felt and thought, then she did the right choice to leave him. That was FAR TOO MUCH to be fine with it. P.S. I know some people have this cultural thing and are fine with it. However, they need to understand that other people may not approve of those same values, and thus, they cannot force or coerce people into forming part of that culture if they wish to not be a part of it. So while they may deem those actions as acceptable, their complete lack of respect for other people's feelings, culture and values is not acceptable. At least, not in my culture.

The sad thing... its from the source of a lot of horrors... religion... I heard of this before from a friend of mine... And yea he !had! a good friend that had a girlfriend for like 3 years straight... And he proposed to her... She said yes, and same story short, but like 2 weeks before the wedding he came to her and told her about the ceremony and the religious stuff despite telling her all the time he would want to break the religion in his family... the terror came shortly after she totaly declined it... he tried to hold her captive until the ceremony would have been held, like he used a drug to put her to sleep and caged her in her own room (they were living together in an apartment) The good thing the neighbours heard her and called the police on him... but that was only after 4 days and she was traumatized from what happened, she came to my friend crying in tears with a police escort as they knew each other from meetings prior etc. and he is a very nice guy and helps wherever he can... I dont know the full story of her but her parents weren't an option and it would be rude to go too far into detail here... but seriously how f*cked up can someone be to hold such a ceremony like some woman are born without a hymen or rip it without even knowing...

Sounds like an incest cult

@@patty4449 wow. Just... Wow. I'm so glad she managed to get out.

Well it is a muslim thing so I wouldnt tell such thing. You can offend a lot of people. You may say 'if they find that normal it is okay to offend them' but no, as an agnostic i can tell you it is just culture

@@ege8240being agnostic for the win I always love the view of being on the outside looking in

You’re wrong and right. Yes he reversed the faulty reasoning, but he did it in a way that made his wife feel like he wasn’t happy that she wasn’t working. “His wife failing to recognize that” makes it sound like how she interpreted it was her fault, when it’s not that strange she took it that way, especially when accounting for insecurity. What matters is him reassuring her that he didn’t mean it that way.

@@katlynroseanneyea I mostly agree the wife just interpreted wrong doesn’t make her wrong for thinking that way though since it was just a miscommunication so they should clear it up

I have a feeling there was a lot more to the ceremony than what he had told her...

Frick Frack

Also: there is literally no way to actually prove anyone is a virgin. The hymen is a real thing, yeah, but not the way people think of it. A good way to think about the myth vs actuality is: the myth is a pure barrier, like the banner at the beginning of sports games that players run through; in actuality it’s more like a balloon arch, you can pass through without damaging it if you’re careful. The myth that all women bleed their first time is just that, a myth. If you take time and prepare for penetration there will be no damage to the hymen whatsoever. So basically the father would just be looking at a pussy to look at a pussy.

Dim Sufferer Also the hymen can rip during every day things like doing the splits or riding a bike. The whole ceremony is quite lewd and wouldn’t actually prove anything.

@@dimsufferer9951 sounds like an elaborate fetish

Unfortunately the truth was too much for her to bear after the husband left and she committed suicide.

@oH well,lord! Look at his username on reddit u/NeedAdviceDesperate

@oH well,lord! www.reddit.com/user/Needadvicedesperate/ link to the dudes reddit final update. Wife refused to give answers then killed herself when he was at work.

@@Kris-wo4pj Welp seems like trash got itself out :v (sad but not so sad)

@@fabiancarrascalsalazar5793 I agree

@Thelondonbadger As an Israeli, I agree but it mostly depends on whether you were brought up in a religious household or in a normal household. Some men hate women because of bad experiences with them so they think A, B and C - Same can be said about women who hate men.

@Thelondonbadger Feminism is bs

@@JOEL00111 Modern day (3rd-wave) is bs, the original Feminism (1st-wave) isn't. Just shows how any good idea will eventually be turned to shit over time by shitty people.

@@DoomsdayR3sistance Even the 1st wave had a little bs, how come they didn't protest for not being signed up for selective services like men are forced too, to vote! They don't want equality, they want superiority and privileges just picking and choosing what they want but taking none of the bad that men are force into!

@@JOEL00111 Maybe, but it's still way more sensible than the garbage we see today, where it's mainly middle-class women who complaining their overly privileged positions just aren't privileged enough and claiming that all men are evil and scary.

Run and get a restraining order if you can

Why are you being antiSemitic?

@@Alternate_Titles What?????????????

@@Iluviggys This is a common practice in Orthodox Judaism. Why do you hate Jews? Are you saying their practices and traditions are BAD?

​@@Alternate_Titles They are bad if it involves hurting someone against thier will.

True

LMFAO

yeah I didn't get it either, this is what I would expect if only one person was making money. a fair division of labor would depend on how much both partners work. If one partner is home all the time, why shouldn't they do all the house work? That actually seems only fair.

look at my comment it wasn't funny at all

@@Nerobyrne I think you're talking about a different story...

I think she got wise when he accused her of hiding something and slapped her after she ultimately refused.

It would been a little thing if he wanted todo it but not his WHOLE family like bruh

@@bulletproofweasel Even that is iffy, because it relies on the antiquated idea that a woman's virginity is directly related to her hymen, when in reality hymens get torn during non-sexual physical activity all the time.

@@shatteredshards8549 I dont even remember why I commented but I'm to young to fully understand this I think but jesus did you respond fast

Also, would she have them been expected to think this was normal behavior and if they’d had kids- would the guys she was gonna marry have expected to do this to any of their kids/kids fiancés in the future? Also the fact that he slapped her said it all, I’m glad she didn’t go through with it. Sounds like they don’t even understand how female bodies work, like the fact that her hymen could be broken without sex, what even makes any of them qualified to “check” her virginity?! 🤢

Can't it also break while putting in a tampon or something like that?

Spammerts Niet Welkom It can happen from something as simple as bike riding.

Mine broke when I was 6 from a bike accident 🥴

Spammerts Niet Welkom Yup. Can break during sports or things like riding a bike for example. A hymen can also not be broken during sex.. so A hymen is in no way an indication of virginity.

Cant you break it stretching? Im not sure about this though...

I work at a water plant. Who is keeping your drinking water clean and safe at night too? 😂

Not to mention ... truck drivers? Like his son?

God, I work nights, my gram is constantly telling me I shouldn't sleep all day. I sleep from 1p-9p. I try to explain my days are flipped, so 9p for her is 9am for me. She doesn't understand and asks why I can't just split my nights

So no police, fire, ems work nights? Smh..

@@Univerzion its futile, some people are just pure stupid

"Dude its late go to bed and let us know in the morning if its still an issue

I got so annoyed about the fil was that much of a douche

Imagine feeling like some takeout at three am.

And then the fire goes outside and waits until 8am to restart.

@@DarkDreamsAndMoonlitNights Just yell at the fire to fuck off "Bro, it's 3am! I'm trying to sleep!" 'Oh shit, sorry, I'll come back to ruin your life after you've gotten your full 8 hours ;)'

whiteravenkpopfan this comment does not have enough likes

I think that the step-father is doing some real job like selling used cars.

god forbid, the rudeness of that patient, my god, some people really don't have manners My first Karen impression, hid?

Yes obviously, and also 24/7 gas stations don't exist

Babies know to wait until 9 AM to be born.

Maroon

DBZA, noice.

I have 20/40 vision in my left eye (Don't shine lasers and lights in your eyes kids), And I could see that red flag from 200 miles away.

@@war_Machine-ti4ps Navy red

That Flag is a color that is beyond Crimson

isn't also the hymen test, pretty much useless? Damn it is scientifically proven, that hymen does not tell, if woman is virgin or not. Its just a myth.

@@histkontext It's obvious she was dealing with fundamental christians - she's nothing but property, so who cares. That's the line of thinking these people have.

@@bladerunner3314 It's actually obvious she was dealing with fundamental Muslims. Very different practices, very different beliefs, neither of which you're likely to understand at all.

@@samuellane4437 Thank you for showing you are willing to go no true scotsman to protect your bubble in which christians are the pinacle of good - which they aren't.

@@bladerunner3314 No true Scotsman or unwilling to engage in genetic fallacies? It's one of them, but are you smart enough to figure out which? 🤔

Definitely a bruh moment

Yah

"This isn't even a bruh moment at this pont _what the actual hell is wrong with you"_

@@l0ad_0f_barnacles29 this is now a WHAT THE F*** moment

tes

Honestly if he didn’t cry I’d be worried

What matters is he still calls her his daughter. He never denied his care for her and continued to care for his daughter and other kids.

@ CIV The woman's fiance is weird and I hope that SHE ran from that group!

I believe it's part of the breaking down the woman to rule over her. First you humiliate her looking at what is supposed to be private now un-private. What else hasn't he told her? How many other boundaries are his family going to cross?

She actually specifically stated that he had told her earlier on but she thought it was some kind of joke..... and this is actually an old cultural tradition for many parts of the world... really fucked up and shouldn't be practiced anymore but how are you going to tell one group to stop old traditions when you insist that the world follows another groups traditions? bleh... humanity is a shit show.

@Milk spills Triplets Checking a women's hymen is not at all a measure of virginity. It can be torn through many strenuous activities or still be intact after sex.

Not to mention he fucking slapped her. That is completely absurd.

The wife committed suicide man

@@alexmouso7256 As horrible as that is, and as serious as that is, she did cheat in the end. Did that mark her as deserving of death? God no, all I mean by that is that it's factual that she cheated; no one deserves to die a death like that. It also doesn't change that this man still loved the children even though they weren't his. No one deserved to die for this situation and it's a horrible thing to happen.

@@alexmouso7256 instead of owning her mistakes, she abandoned her children, OP is scarred for life and most likely never trust any woman again.

@@histkontext yeah, I'm feeling so bad for the guy. He deserve at least an explanation and she left her children motherless.

How many of you didn't do more than half-way listen? Four out of five of the children were out of school, thus adult aged? And no one was left motherless. The man hadn't even decided what to do yet, as I read it.

tell that to conservative Christians

Agreed. DNA paternity tests, like the one with 5 kids and 9 different fathers, show that old tradition to be completely useless in this modern Tinder age.

Ikr, same with you having 2 eyes

@@finn7750 notice how I said CONSERVATIVE Christians

@Brady Conway again not for conservative fundamentalists and evangelicals.

Yeah. Horseback riding, riding bikes, gymnastics, dance... anything that can stretch out muscles in the lower body can break or warp it.

@@_Fizel_ or just falling down the wrong way

There are also women who never have theirs break. i read a story on a woman that actually had to have hers severed to give birth. it was just so strong that sex, periods, and any other activities were painful. after the forced severing and birth she healed up fine and had only a couple other surgeries to fix the issue. so in essence, some women can lie about being a virgin due to their hymen being intact no matter what they do. it is just a bit of tissue and very weak in most women and breaks in childhood.

@Esben M That doesn't matter. There's still the fact that some women JUST DON'T HAVE ONE. It does not matter if they don't do those activities. They walk, even just THAT can cause it to change. There is NO WAY to 100% tell if someone is a virgin. People can lie, tests can be inconclusive or just plain wrong, and bodies don't always work the way some uneducated person thinks.

@Esben M maybe not my first set of points, but I already said more in my reply.

Alex DeMilo I don’t have the link to the story but there was an update and the wife committed suicide

@@animestargalaxy1016 mate I need the update. You can't drop a bomb like that and not give us the link

@@Martok2309 www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/b7lmii/me_52m_just_found_out_at_least_4_of_my_5_children/

@@blastarrow2052 much appreciated

@@Martok2309 www.reddit.com/user/Needadvicedesperate/comments/fbofgb/final_update/

Even if (and I say big if) the arrangement might be unfair, it's still not their fucking business. Btw, the arrangement is fair and just in this instance. For example if I have an open relationship with my girlfriend or wife or we're both swingers and their friends told me it's bla bla bla. I would just say it's not your fucking business. People need to stop meddle with other's people business. They need to learn minding their own shit.

I thought his response was spot on as well tbh.

I watched two marriages go down the drain because "friends" put their 2 cents in. Mind your business!

@@rohalexander1283 Me too, and to be honest most of the times it those nasty female friends around the girlfriend/wife/partner who are fucking with her head. That's the problem, single women make single women, misery loves company etc.

Friends like these, who needs enemy?

IKR

Right? There are drs that can do that if it was really necessary like wtf

It sounds like something a cult would demand. And besides hymen’s don’t mean jack. It’s possible to have sex without breaking it and it’s really easy to break those things. Even a high enough kick will break it.

Seriously! I thought it was really messed up that the father ''needed'' to do that, but to have the brothers and uncles WATCH?! EXCUSE ME?! WHAT?!

the hymen can break with out even having sex and some women are born with out a hymen and the hymen doesnt always break during sex these people really need to do some research smfh

wife of the cheating husband committed suicide two weeks after husband and kids confronted her.

i had to move out of my parents house because i worked third shift (11 pm - 7 am). i would get home around 8 am and go straight to bed. My mother would wake me up around 10 am and not let me go back to sleep because "you are NOT going to lay around and sleep all day" i ended up moving because i tried to reason with her that while she slept all night i was awake and working. she didn't see it that way. i was just lazy.

wait really

If he's making enough money that his wife doesn't have to work he's definitely working more than 8 hours a day.

@@AngelEmfrbl MAN! BAD ENDING! Guess that She couldn't stand the truth??

that is correct

👍

Gannicus Finch BRILLIANT!

This type of behavior is shockingly stupid and illogical. Work is work, what does it matter when you do it?

wait, really? i know it's been 7 months since this comment was posted, but i want to see proof or smth

@@titanlord9267 Go to the guys reddit. He has his story about that there.

@@noodleman4500 oh, holy, uhh, you were not wrong, that's a pretty bad way to go out, wow

@@titanlord9267 Can you link me the post??

@@noodleman4500, the user doesn’t exist on Reddit now by the looks of it.

more like a red alarm

Saying that is how you activate the red alarm in A Quiet Place

@Wes Prang thats oringe.

"It's ok, son. The next girl will be the right one for you. Isn't that, right?" "*sniff* Yes..." "Yes what?" "Yes, daddy."

That's not just a red flag, that's a whole factory that makes red flags

When you stop having multiple affairs with random men and then get upset when the husband finds out he is not the father of any of his children.

@@dan_mer And the incels appear right on queue

@@salerio61 right on target lol

@@dan_mer Apparently you don't know how biology worked. The hymen thing is a myth. How else do you think cycles work? It's a membrane that retracts. It's already "broken". It would be more accurate to say "stretched" in a sense. Shows you how much you actually paid attention in biology.

@@midgetwthahacksaw it often breaks during childhood, also some women are born without them. Its definitely a barbaric practice.

I mean, most people in America are still unaware how important the foreskin is and how much physical trauma baby boys go through when it's unnecessarily amputated, so it's really across the board that we need education.

Also sex education is not very popular in the US

@@samaritan_sys no baby boys do not go thru any physical trauma when circumcised - fyi - i am and i had no trauma - we didnt circumcise our son and he actually had issues that the doctor needed to advise us on - so dont speak about what you dont kn0w - and yes women have hymens. a guy who thinks hes a woman is not a woman in reality - just your sjw bullshit mind

@@Dman0001 it depends on the person but circumcisions on babies should be banned except if there's a problem, to much accidents happened on little boys genitals during thoses procedure. And not all biological women have hymens.

(Sorry for my english). To be precise, hymen do not even "break". It's already open at certain extent & just got streched during first intercourse or masturbation. How do these folks thing menstrual blood flood out of the body, is the hymen wasns't already open naturally, before sex? (But to be fair, people who think that checking someone virginity by looking at their hymen, must not know much about menstruation, too... :S)

If my friends did that crap to me and my hubby I would have asked the question too lmao

I don’t get why people can’t understand that rhetorical comments like that aren’t statements of genuine belief. It would be like taking sarcasm literally. Idk why that triggered me so much but I feel like I have gotten so many blank looks of confusion from that very rhetorical method.

OOF

A father is someone who loves their child unconditionally and raises them to be the best they can. Just because you have a biological relation to a child by no means makes you a good parent. He loves the kids and based on what OP said, they care about him too. That’s what a real family is. He doesn’t want to leave the wife because he fears losing touch with the kids due to not having any biological relation to them. But he is a true father, and they are his kids.

@Toaster Bath the keyword here is *have* not *raised* , he did raised 5 kids with his wife, but he certainly did not have 5 kids with his wife.. from the test, at most, he only have one kid with her.

In some medieval Scandinavian cultures, it was not a big deal for your wife to have a baby after cheating, it meant that you basically stole a child from him not that your wife was necessarily unfaithful.

Though this doesn't justify it, I DID read up on that post, and.....well, she committed suicide via overdose. I suppose she couldn't cope that she cheated. Not his fault she fucked up her own life, but the dad feels god awful as he didn't want this to happen, he wanted to work through it with her.

I know right??? The reason she IS a virgin is because she DOESN'T let men near her lady bits

I hope id be clever enough to pull that. "I refuse, i want to remain pure for you. So only you can see"

You look like the same type of person to do exactly that.

I'd really like to know which "culture" has that... that's sick...

@@kolerick CULT

Wait did that really happen

I'm sorry about the suicide, but everyhing that happened was her fault. I think she was messed up from the beginning

Kashif Reza yes it did

@@orang9407 that is such a sad story The husband and kids never found out the truth

What a coward.

was a bit more necessary then. cant have royal lineages getting all fucky.

Ian Ingold I mean they did you know what they say, gotta keep the genes in the family as the royals would do.

it sounds more like an odd fetish

Did you watch the video she dumped the guy and did not go through with it

gonna play devils advocate here, I dont think this dad had any malicious intent or was a pervert. I can totally see this being a tradition going back thousands of years or very religiously significant. It's also possible that the grandparents were the ones pressuring the whole family into it. That being said, holy fuckin shit!! What kind of fucked up family/culture/religion was she about to marry into?? Somebody please educate me

or any performs any vigorous activities 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ people are so dumb.

Oh and with gymnastics it would be the same deal A girl in my 6th grade class was told by her friend (4 years older I believe so about 16) that some girl she knew had her hymen broken from spreading her legs too hard in gymnastics (something usual) So this girl could have canceled HER ENTIRE WEDDING for doing gymnastics Some people are idiots by thinking that the hymen only breaks during sex

@@FR0Z3N1C3C0LD Do be honest: If a guy cancels the wedding because he believes the hymen more then the word of his fiance, then maybe the guy is crap anyway.

thing about horse riding... in a logical world, shouldn't the men be the ones to ride side saddle?

Ja, that would be funny and awkward for her, and her boyfriend

Yes.

I prefer to word it this way: Biology doesn't tell you who your family is, love does.

If it was his choice, in real time, I would agree. That was one hell of a financial commitment to hang on to someone else. He should have had a choice

CNN Fake Jobs!

Trump approves this message

Yeah and if a axe murderer is coming to murder you and your family, please wait until regular business hours to file a police report.

right? i work for the navy (as a civilian) on the night shift. I supervise work on reactor systems, and act as a first responder to radiological casualties. would this guy not consider that a real job?

@@ryabow If anything, most of the really scary "real job" shit is done on the night shift, not the day shift.

Exactly!!

The father checking it is how several groups do it, as wrong as it is

If the father didn't like her and she did agree to it, what's to stop him from lying or, even more fucked up, he breaks it himself to show the son that she's not a virgin.

Yeeeeeahh, my money is on "just some weird fetish". So messed up.

It is even worse because the hymen doesn't work like a seal. Another, more accurate term, is the vaginal corona (not the virus). Sitting _outside_ the the actual vagina. You can see it with a mirror. There is literally no way of seeing if a woman is a virgin or not.

@@Ikajo breaking news: hymen is what caused the corona outbreak 😂

Definitely a cult

You know she would have been signed up do a lot more crazy things after that, if she went with it Lucky to get out when she did

A society that treats women this way definitely regards the woman as chattel and have no respect for her.

That's like a red flag made out of human skin.

@@stevenwilson5556 more like human blood

As many red flags as a Bolshevik parade.

More of a Crimson colour...

A red flag made of human skin and painted in red crimson blood

They're beyond perverted

Yes, it can. It's just not very reliable.

@@dansanger5340 Just like coinflip. Works but not reliably

You can break your hymen while horseback riding... It's not reliable

@@XerKoro_neo It isn't really breaking. It's stretching. There has to be an opening so you can menstruate.

It also sounds like their family culture is barbaric!! Right after saying "I Do" the Guy will prolly tell his new bride "Its customary in my family to let My Father & My Brothers & my Uncles & My Cousins, take a test ride on the new bride, before we finally consummate our marriage"

MstangMch4 How the fuck does that logically follow in any way? He let her know about what would happen in advance, why would he suddenly only tell her after the fact?

@@werwerqweqwe I dunno he didn't tell her in advance that he was gonna turn physically abusive but here we are

z nerd Okay.

@@MstangMch4 it sounds more like an elaborate fetish

Oh

Damb

Dam...

F

Well sh*t

Well I can't say it's not completely diserved she ruind her life by being unfaithful and ended it she shouldn't of ended it by any means but when you sink that much of your life into something or someone and you can't move on without them I can see why she took that

Yeah, my cult leader/dad needs to check out everyone's Hymen.

That would've been an extremely awkward/uncomfortable question if his father was a licensed gynecologist(which was kind of what I had expected). But holy crap did she dodge a bullet

yup never marry/ or be close to religious nutters.

Huh next he's gonna ask her to play hide and seek on her wedding day. Dude run, that's red flag for terrible in laws and husband for that matter

I'm surprise to see you here. But yea I agree with you on that

One of my favorite song lyrics is "Trust is more important than monogamy" and it's the deepest truth there is. If you haven't got trust... you haven't got anything and nothing else matters.

Exactly! It isn't one small thing - its women have only have value as virgins and wives and men have all the power

@Djar leeng Because of how society puts virginity on a pedestal. But that is not the point as it shouldn't matter. I'm just wondering where HIS virginity test is.

@Djar leeng Considering this was 50 years ago, be honest. Would you have married her if she wasn't a virgin? It's not right to lie, of course, but you have to admit requiring a virginity test, especially today, is a bit extreme. Not to mention not every woman bleeds the first time. It's possible to "lose your virginity" while riding a horse or using a tampon, which is why women for a while were only allowed to ride horses side saddle and tampons were only for married women. Point is unless the woman is actively seeing someone else, past relationships shouldn't matter. I myself am asexual and a virgin by choice, but even I think too much of a deal is made out of this. Why should it matter if the person did it before if they're with you now? But you're right, you should also be honest upfront. Trust is a two-way street.

Same

I kinda laughed and cringed at the same time

I'm pretty sure everyone did

The first story is weird for most places, but in some middle eastern countries it is 100% normal, and needed, but hey thats just those countries, so i think it depends on their religon... but yeah kinda weird for most.

@@Pengustar Even there the women of the family are the ones to do the "checking" not the dad and uncle, that sounds like gang rape tbh. The whole practice is fucked up

I get that I mean I don't really work nights-ish 4pm to 11/12am but I usually try to get at least an hour's worth of sleep from 2-3 before I work because my family likes to drag me around during the day for wtf ever reason. I'm not a happy person like HEY LET'S GO SEE AN HOUR IN A HALF MOVIE at 1:30 I know it takes an hour for you to actually get to work but fuck it. idk why people think anyone who works night shift is happy to be up when the sun is out it's like "yeah I only worked a 12hr shift no brakes, and three emergencies but yeah let's go get brunch." More like GTF off my lawn.

I like the idea r/ mentioned at the end. Just keep calling or going round during the times you're awake... just to chat or ask a favour. Honestly, people are so dumb. I'm a natural night owl even though I work days. I'm lucky that my friends and family just accept I will randomly nap now to make sure I get enough sleep - I just can't sleep normal hours despite me trying for a long time.

Thats what i was thinking too

Ex-fiancee would be dead. His father? Dead. All his male relatives that would watch? Dead.

Yep, very slow death

As a daughter I would agree, most fathers would end this asshole for laying hands on her.

Exactly

At least they didn't insist on watching the marriage becoming consumated. Ya know another of those lovely ancient practices

she did and broke up with him

Me too. I mean, just how? Does he not realize how many "real" jobs operate overnight?

I guess being a nurse or ER doctor doesn't count as having real jobs!

@@NyttAura Can you Imagine Lord Jacob Rothschild international banking cartel clan saying to his kids 'hard work and effort and working over night giving it hard slog is what this family is all about, of course I'll be proud of any of my kids working as EMT/doc/etc' without his tounge firmly in cheek for a camera only?

He is probably one of those people who think only a 9-5 office job is a real job

He said that to hide his real issue... He wanted his son to have kids. That was it. The other bs was him dancing around his real complaint.

www.reddit.com/user/Needadvicedesperate/comments/fbofgb/final_update/

This is what a narcissist would do. Unbelievable.

Omg! That’s horrific! she must have needed some serious help

Good RIDDANCE ❤

@tetra Sky or @FoxxyYT do either of you have links to the whole thread? I think it's obvious at this point that r/ didn't get the whole thread. I want to know if the fifth child was tested and such. I think I'm missing a few updates. I'd like to read the whole thing to know exactly what was going on.

That’s really sad for both him and his kids.

This was a nothing short of a true, real life tragedy...

Wow, a life built on lies. As long as she wasn’t found out, she had it all. The truth came out, and the party was all over.

@@30803080308030803081 Yep, and she got the opportunity and time to fess up but didn't. I have never called someone a coward for choosing to commit suicide (I have tried twice myself, now glad I didn't succeed), but that woman truly was a coward who couldn't own her own wrongdoings and rather left her family in a grieving mess. OP is much more of a father to those children than she was a mother.

I think she might have been sexually abused by someone she knew and was blackmailed, that's why she didn't tell and thought of committing suicide as a way out of it

She killed herself

@@jamesmoses4066 wait hol up what?

Dasani water bottle she rlly did

Dasani water bottle I came home one evening to find she had committed suicide by overdosing. So I lost the love of my life, and I'll never know what mistakes she had made. I really wish I could go back in time and forget about it all. Whatever mistakes she made, I honestly wanted to work through it, and now I'm just riddled with guilt that I pressed her for an answer.

@Claudio Como I assume the latter. I feel like her overwhelming guilt killed her, perhaps because the web of lies has been so complex that she cannot discern truth from fiction... and perhaps she never thought the husband and her kids will forgive her. Either way, she lived her life like how she died: selfishly.

She never did actually, she kept quiet and fought her own children when confronted. She honestly took the coward's way out. I don't want to sound like a pure hearted bitch, but she killed herself to avoid from admitting her wrongdoings and telling the truth. It's honestly pathetic.

🤷🏽‍♂️good ridance

@@anowlwithinternetaccess6879 Narcissism is a hell of a thing. "Maybe I'll just kill myself, that'll teach them! How dare they not believe my lies. I'm just lying to protect their feelings. Every terrible thing I ever do I can justify it in some way. I'm the good guy!"

@@tyty8484 wut

..what?! holy shit poor family

.....why doe?

Think they were jealous of her being a "kept woman"? BTW, I get that term from a coworker that moved departments, took a pay cut, to work less hours. When I asked why she would take the cut just for the hours she replied, "I never planned to work, I planned to be a kept woman." Sooo, I gotta giver her credit for honesty, I can deal with that.

@@canogaparque818 probably for the money so they could sleep with other people and not have to worry about pretty much being Bernie Sanders

@@cnop1287 finiancial assistance

what makes you think he'll take them?

Who cares?

Well, shouldn't have fucked with all these boys. Feel bad for the kids though.

figures

@@HardSmartfuxu redditors probably

I love it when stories have a happy ending.

shout out for your dad

Shout out to Your dad

Epic, my stepfather is more a father to me than my biological dad.

Mine too. My Dads favourite joke is when he introduces me to people he always says this is my favourite daughter ( I’m his only daughter) 😂

@@neveska7958 ok thats legit funny it took me a sec but i get it.

Those people need some help

Lieke Derksen Definitely. Some real serious help if they think that that discussion and the altercation all before the wedding was “okay”.

Wasn't r/incels banned before?

Yes but, not everyone on the sub was banned so there are still people from the sub around.

So stupid because hymens really arent an exact science I, like other people never even had a hymen

Good RIDDANCE

I'd feel bad but she was pretty messed up.

🤷🏽‍♂️oh well The damage is done doe

Suicide happens hoping the widow isn't blaming himself. It wasn't anything to do with you. Our spouses were born differently ❤ another widow to suicide

@@selfishcapitalist3523 Yeah, true. But....he didn't want this to happen and wanted to work through it with her as he still loved her, and as he had said, she had always been there for him. I suppose she couldn't live with herself, and it isn't right what she just did to her husband and kids. She rather take the easy way out and cause the suffering on the ones she loved instead of holding herself responsible.

I'd rather know than have the entire family know except me.

@@Asmoodeusmilkers I never saw that update for that story. I was wondering what happened. Is it still up on Reddit?

@@nate_2092 just search his user "Needadvicedesperate" the sum - she didn't tell him why she did it, they barely spoke and then he came home to her dead from overdose.

It isn't just finding out that their dad isn't their biological parent. They also have to take in that the seemingly great family they had is about to fall apart, and that their loving mother turns out to have been a cheating bitch. And people who find out they've been adopted in their teens (which is basically what happened, on the dad's part... even if he didn't know) is still pretty emotional. But yeah, I overall agree that it's something that they're old enough to understand, but I can see how he'd want to avoid hurting them like that. But it'll come out in the end anyways...

There are whole support groups for adults who find out that the man who raised them isnt thier biodad. It is hard no matter how old you are.

It honestly sounds like the guy's family was middle eastern. Ive heard of such practices while deployed. If the girl is found to not be a virgin, honor killings can occur or "accidents" happen. Either way, she was going to have a life of pain and misery.

Honestly, it can be worse than that. You have places where the sheets literally are required to have blood on them while one of the parents is watching the first time you have sex. And they present the bloody sheets to the streets. If there is no blood on it, even though the girl was a virgin(it can happen), the marriage contract is discontinued instantly, the girl is banished from the family and sometimes even executed. Personally, I'd expected her to demand the mom to check her instead, because it seemed like that was the only family tradition they seemed to have.

it's actually really stupid too. Many hymens don't close off completely, and thus can remain intact even after regular intercourse. Likewise, many hymens are really tight, and will tear during things like sports or yoga. That is of course ignoring the fact that, even if it was reliable, it's complete BS because it doesn't matter if you're a virgin or not, since we can determine heritage through DNA tests.

look at my comment it wasn't funny at all

@@Nerobyrne The large majority of hymens don't close off completely, and if a hymen does close off completely a medical procedure is required to open it up to let menstrual blood out. Otherwise problems like blood poisoning can happen, because the menstrual blood and uterine lining just festers there unable to come out. Some hymens are so stretchy that they never break, despite sexual intercourse and child birth. Sometimes a hymen is so small it is not visible unless you're a professional and know what you're looking for. Like a ridge that's only a half millimeter wide at most. What his family suggested was crazy from a modern perspective though.

Definitely crimson

Cahiers and other minimum wage and lower (waiting jobs I think I'm not American) jobs too

A couple factory jobs work overnight, too.

It’s bizarre that someone doesn’t understand working night shifts.

My Dad works in a paper mill and he works the night shift on a regular basis

Don’t forget about the power system operators who keep the grid functioning at night. And the crews who get called out to do repairs at 0’dark thirty,

Lol

I saw that episode. Adam ruins s*x was it

Actually, wasn't that Emily ruins Adam?

Yeah its not like its a film of skin or something covering the vagina. Its just the skin around the opening.

unfortunately...

@@GwentAddictNumber263 she killed herself apparently

@@GwentAddictNumber263 she's dead

@@foxxyytofficial I am happy that at least she didn't drag him through shit. Divorce,get his money,get the house,the kids..etc. And it's pretty obvious why she suicided..

Where did you find it? I tried and the only thing I found was that he was going to repeat the test and that he will just update If his wife stop lying. EDIT: I have found it now in a tread different than the original. www.reddit.com/user/Needadvicedesperate/comments/fbofgb/final_update/

Yeah I was thinking why is the wife letter her friends insult her husband she should be standing up for herself and her marriage.

@@gigadrill0000 she might have just been super embarrassed like he said. She likely already feel shame about not working especially with today's views on stay at home wives. I get where she was coming from but I was personally insulted. I take good care of my house and I am proud that my husband will support me during this hard time.

Friends empower you and your actions. If they don't, they aren't your friends. As a man, I would love to see a housewife relieving stress for me, especially taking over the house chores and probably some other fun activities as well. That or I don't mind the other way around.

She lets her friends insult him and doesn’t defend him... then gets upset when he points out the fact that he contributes by making them money. If she was taking care of kids, the friends would be 100% correct, but they don’t. She owes it to him to correct her friends regardless of if it’s embarrassing.

@@katet_33 I agree with standing up for her relationship but I am saying that I understand her point of being embarrassed. You get shamed so hard for taking time off. Especially when there aren't any children to take care of. Her friends likely said something that she was insecure about and she felt too ashamed to say something. I also don't think they were intentionally trying to hurt her. In their own way they were trying to stand up for her but did more harm than good.

I love stories with a happy ending. 10/10 thanks for that.

She’s hardly “His wife” considering how many times she cheated, and ruined these kids’ lives. I’m the child of an affair, my father KNOWS I’m not his, and despite him telling me he doesn’t care and I’m still his daughter, I will ALWAYS feel like human garbage that trapped him in his shitty marriage. Especially since AS SOON as I moved out to university he got the divorce papers ready. Everyone underestimates how much this affects the kids too, and as a kid from an affair, there is NO WAY for that father to comfort the kid and assure them this doesn’t change anything. Even without the father breaking down, being an affair baby, we know the complication our existence causes. We know we’re walking proof of infidelity, and nothing can change that.

Wow. Selfish to the end. She’s just as willing to leave her kids behind as her husband. I feel really sorry for that family. Hopefully they can heal from this and live a happy life together.

Always only thinking of herself even right up to the end it seems. Sorry for the kids, but not exactly the worst thing in the world when a garbage human self-deletes. (Not implying that everyone who self-deletes is garbage)

@@ggdail How insulting. How apropos tho.... *sniff *

LtCWest was he Mary Poppins as well? 😂

The end to that story read by a different youtuber was the wife killed herself before revealing who kids bio dads were. So now he lost everything and the children lost their mother.

Thank you yondu odunta

gigadrill0000 that must be really hard on those kids

gigadrill0000 it was a different post that OP made that mentions it. Overdosed herself

@@jamesmoses4066 he said the same thing tho "if you love me youll let him check" and he said it first, and also thts no excuse to slap her

Fabulosa Exactly. He expects her to obey whatever he says and when she says no and pulls the same reasoning he did he showed his true colors.

James Moses “if you love me you will tell your father that he can’t check my hymen in a room of people” is totally unacceptable. Ok buddy

James Moses I would also totally slap a girl for her asking me to do something especially something as minimal of my father not being able to check her hymen. Note the high use of sarcasm

Not only that, according to him its was tradition, so is her future children and children in law have to go through all that when they want to marry...

IIIKKKKKRRRRR!!!!!

Sounds pretty fake tbh

Mason Bollen Nah. This shit happens. Usually just in majorly religious areas though.

@Face in the Crowd i know of no religion where hymen inspector is a thing. It sounds like some.bizarre family ritual.that got.passed.down over multiple generations.