r/Trueoffmychest Husband Secretly Did Surgery on My Va**** 

Dude, they call it the “husband stitch”. Not the “husband and wife stitch”. The woman’s comfort and health is not taken into consideration at all.

Last story: The true irony is that the random men she invited in were better people that helped OP more then his wife, that honestly blew my mind and had to pause the video to wrap my head around it.

He's not remorseful because he saw how much it impacted your recovery. He's remorseful because he's not getting laid anymore

I lost massive amounts of blood after the birth of our first son, I had a lot of stitches. I informed my husband what a husband stitch was and he was horrified. I'm sorry that these terrible husband stories exist but they continue to make me grateful for my husband.

Any doctor that performs a husband stitch on someone without the actual patient's consent should be fired and have their license revoked.

The "husband stitch" is the most disgusting concept I've ever heard of in my entire life. I can't even articulate how infuriating its existence, of which I was blissfully unaware prior to this video, is to me. What a foul, disgusting thing to force on someone else's body against their knowledge or wishes.

The idea of a "husband stitch" is grossing me out so much. It is *mutilation of a woman's body without her knowledge or consent* plain and simple. It's detrimental to the victim's physical and mental health and deserves to be punished with years in prison - the husband as well as the doctor.

Second story: I'm from Brazil and I must say: good riddance for OP because seems he avoided a girl who saw him and his country as some kind of exotic tropical paradise. It seems to be something of a common stupidity in US aswell: a few months ago there was a Virgin Airline ad for flights to the city of São Paulo; The ad had the stereotypical 'carnaval' costumes and dances, and talked about the 'fabulous beaches' of São Paulo. I live in São Paulo. We are on top of the mountains, and the closest of a beach we have up here is anything but fabulous. And our climate is closer to NYC most of the time; So yeah if OP's ex-fiancée based her entire relationship and view from OP's country on a stupid overproduced music video, and got mad at him when her own insistence on going there shattered her stupid stereotypical views, I'd say the gringo trash took out itself.

Your husband consenting to a husband stitch without consulting you is sexual assault.

3rd story: OP should consider divorcing his lazy wife and marry Roy instead! 😆

The OP in the Parasite story seriously needs to get into therapy himself. He has been Connie's doormat for years, watching his wife collect pets and brother husbands for OP while simultaneously hoarding up their home. I can't believe someone would allow that to happen to themselves. OP needs to man up, get a lawyer, take his kids and get away from Connie. Don't worry about hurting her, she's already hurting herself and the OP. If nothing else, do it for the kids, they don't deserve to live that way.

My husband heard about the husband stitch and was horrified and disgusted. He couldn't understand how a man could be thinking about such things, especially after their SO just gave birth. He said he was so worried for me health and safety while I was getting stitched after tearing, sex was the furthest thing from his mind. Also, he understands that is just not how vaginas work. That Connie story...yikes. OP needs to get those kids out of that house. The train of men coming through that house is not safe for them.

The OBGYN in the first story should be sued for malpractice! Wtf?!?!?!?!

"Hes extremely remorseful" no hes not. He was only thinking of himself and is only "sorry" because you didnt agree with him

Story 1: He needs to understand that OP needs to consent for that. Heck, any surgery on OP needs consent from OP. Don't assume OP will be okay with it, because the opposite can happen, and then what?

So, yeah, hyperfocusing on random things and then getting something else IS a symptom of ADHD. But you know what isn't? Knowing you have it, being aware of the problems, and doing NOTHING about it!

It's actually so disgusting of the husband to do that in the first story. I'm shocked actually, this is abuse by him

First Story: What happened to OP is beyond messed up. If this was in the US, the doctor would need permission from the ACTUAL patient before doing anything to their body. The fact that this doctor asked OP's husband for the husband's stitch all for his benefit is wrong Second Story: So she called off the engagement because OP's home country wasn’t what she expected or hoped? If I was OP I’d see this as the red flag as it is. OP gave her warning after warning but she insisted on going; as soon as the trip wasn’t the way she fantasized she leaves OP? Third Story: I honestly can’t feel sorry for OP. Connie literally admitted to having multiple online relationships while talking to OP and OP ended up marrying her. OP needs to grow a spine and kick them all out of HIS house. I feel for OP in having to deal with all of this but all of this would’ve been avoided if OP didn’t give her that second chance; now she became a human parasite and plans to take everything OP owns

As a man who married a Puerto Rican woman: If OP's girlfriend based her entire idea of PR around that music video, she set herself up for disappointment, and that OP should be happy to be rid of her, because his homeland (and by proxy, he) will never live up to her expectations. When I went to PR, my wife and her family showed me the whole picture of the island. I saw the good and the bad. The younger generation, who were excited and joyful at the cultures blending, and seeing people from the mainland coming to visit, and the older generations where there is still distrust and blatant bigotry towards those who are 'Outsiders.' PR can be a major culture shock. As a general rule for anyone visiting a country that is not culturally similar to their own, a rule of thumb: If you saw that country in a movie, a show, or a music video, you need to push every preconception you have out of your mind, because you're not going to get any of that.

I think story 3 should kick out her and joe and keep roy around. He can keep the house, kids, and rent a storage unit to put all her stuff in with a payment set up in her name with 6 months paid off for her to sort her own crap out.

I knew the husband stitch was a possibility for the first story. The vagina is not supposed to be some tight toy. Its supposed to be able to loosen and stretch. It will return to normal after the baby.

My ex-husband told me to ask my OB if it was possible to get extra stitches when I was pregnant with our first child. I actually did ask my OB and she gave me an incredibly WTF look and said NO. I should've seen the red flags then. That was just the start of him disrespecting me, my body and our kids.

The first story... it is even worse if you know OP was a molestation victim as a child! He felt, knowing her past trauma as a child, she would think a husband stitch is okay. It's called a "husband" stitch for a reason. It ONLY benefits the man, which essentially is molestation all over AGAIN. Doing something to a woman for solely his benefit is the goal in both cases; sexual gratification. For a guy who is a doctor, it's really stupid thinking with complete disregard for his wife. Knowing childbirth was painful enough, he wanted to add onto that pain with extra stitches?! Are you kidding me? It added a mental toll even more than childbirth gave added onto the physical recovery of childbirth and being a new mother! WTF. The more I think about it, the more upset it makes me.

Story 1: so my wife had our amazing little girl. And before the birth she told me about the “husband stitch” and I was just so grossed out that that is a thing. I would never force that on my wife or anyone for that matter.

I remember over 40 years ago when my former wife and I were dating. We double dated with a soon to be doctor and his girlfriend when he explained what the “husband stitch” was. He was in medical school and sharing some stories about his classes. I didn’t believe him at first, I thought he was exaggerating. I thought it was weird then, and think it is weird now.

Story 1: my mom was in surgery recently, she had a hysterectomy. I was temporarily the one making medical decisions for her. Her surgeon called mid-surgery to say they found a suspicious mass and wanted to biopsy it, but they needed my permission. Even for something potentially life saving, they couldn’t just do whatever they wanted. OP’s doctor did an entire separate procedure on her AND NEVER MENTIONED IT, the nurses had to clue her in. Disgusting.

Omfg I've had actual nightmares about the husband stitch... Pregnancy and labor abuse is a serious and frighteningly common thing. The horror stories I've heard are part of why I don't want to have children. I completely don't blame OP for her reaction, and absolutely applaud her choices. It's disgusting on husband's part for approving that, and absolutely malicious on the doctor's part for even offering let alone doing it without the patient consent.

Story 3: ADHD does include impulsiveness, but you still can't be excused from consequences involving impulsive behavior. She is straight up walking over OP and he is just letting her because he doesn't want her feelings hurt. Problem is, she is definitely just pretending to have her feelings hurt because something didn't go her way Sorry, OP, but you can't avoid hurting her feelings, you NEED to put your foot down, grow your spine, say no, divorce, take everything, and give the others the boot.

First story: I wouldn't trust a doctor who can get things done behind your back and without your consent.

Husband stitch? What CENTURY IS THIS?

Story 1: As someone with endometriosis (which often leads to having tight genitals) being tight has made my love life a living hell. Not for my partners of course, but every time I have s*x it burns and if my partner is just a tiny bit too rough I tear open. That husband is a monster and should be locked away.

Story 2: I was thinking the same thing R/, how could she possibly claim to have loved you enough to want to get married but then end the relationship because your home country isn't the glamorous music video she thought it was? There is no place in the world that doesn't have bad things about it, honestly what OP describe happens in America too, but apparently she didn't know that. I understand OP is hurting right now, but if she's that shallow then at least you didn't waste money paying for the wedding.

Tbh the fact that the OBGYN even thought to ASK to do that, is absolutely egregious and he should be reported to the proper authorities! What’s worse is “the husband stitch” doesn’t even work! The “tightness” of the vag comes from the strength of the pelvic floor muscles, so no amount of stitching can actually make you tighter. And while yes the vag DOES expand during childbirth, it eventually shrinks back to how it was before the delivery. A husband stitch can actually make it so that sex is PAINFUL for both the the woman AND the man, because the woman can no longer stretch enough to accommodate a penis without it being painful, and by extension it can be painful for the man because the penis is now being squeezed too much. I work in healthcare, so stories like this are particularly sickening to me. I hope OP can escape with her baby and get FAR away from that monster of a man. Imagine prioritizing the possibility of more sexual pleasure over the safety and comfort of someone who is supposedly the love of your life.

Story 3: OP you weren’t “young and in love”, you were “young and stupid.” And now, you’re old and still stupid.

Here's my question. Why is it the HUSBAND'S choice to get the stitch done on a body that isnt even his, and not, you know, THE WOMAN'S choice. Considering SHE is the patient and its HER body. Why are women still treated like its the 1800s and that they are the property of their husbands/boyfriends? I would absolutely be talking to a lawyer, filing complaints, etc. Because it should NEVER have been the guys choice to modify the womans body WITHOUT HER CONSENT!!!

The last story sounds like he has been psychologically abused, and I really hope he gets the help he needs for him and his children to live happily ever after without his wife.

Its so infuriating how everyone want op to forgive her husband for 1 mistake. Sure it's one mistake but that mistake was physically altering your wife bruh. It's flipping painful and you want forgiveness.

That last story... That parallels way too much of my first marriage, holy crap! Eight years in I finally got some real friends outside our relationship, and they showed me what a real life is like. Then after a blow out fight where she attacked me for the last time, I finally got out.

Story 1 what a violation of trust. I'm surprised she didn't divorce him. Also how comical that he suggested counseling. Op shouldn't have to fix what she didn't break.

OMG, the danger the children are in, in the final story, is crazy. They know nothing about these 2 men they have living with them. These overly helpful dudes who are doing your dishes and yardwork out of the goodness of their hearts? Don't trust them. You hear so many horror stories about 'family friends' abusing kids and this whole situation is a breeding ground for something like that to happen. If OP doesn't respect himself, he should at least want to protect his kids.

I never expected rslash to endorse gambling

Story 2: As a fellow puertorican, I can say for certain that this island is a beautiful place to visit, but if you're not familiar with the place you have to be extremely careful on where you go. The more touristy a place is the more dangerous it is around here. Though as long as you travel with someone who knows the whereabouts and follow thier advice it's pretty much as safe as any other place.

I just KNEW Dabney was gonna go OFF on the last story, also missing the puppy bloopers with Yugo❤

Imagine getting an husband stitch for your unconscious wife then losing the right to perform the act pertaining to that procedure. That being said op should be able to sue the doctor and divorce her husband.

Sad that the roommates contribute more than Connie. On a related note: some people just can't be fixed, you'd on only destroy yourself in the process. The same thing almost happened to my brother in his first relationship; the girl still has no idea how close she was to being destroyed for what she put him through.

Story 3: How did OP allow all of this nonsense for over a decade? 😳 I’m speechless.

rSlash, it's called "The Husband Stitch" for a reason, the actual patient is *never* consulted for it.

Last Story: Stop being a doormat!! Why did you let her bring two strange men around your DAUGHTER? You're nothing but a ATM to her. Please update!

Omg when i saw the thumbnail & title i was like “OH GOD!!!!😳😳”

Story 3 : OP is incredible stupid... no back bone, "I can fix her!" Spoiler No, you can't, only professionals can help her manage and if she doesn't want to then is a waste of time and sanity.

Rslash seems like a better father than mine. He would rent out rooms in the house we rented. At one point there were 16 people living there. And we shared one bathroom

story 1: I wonder if there is a way to have this reversed with surgery. Sounds like these men are only thinking about their lower halves and not their better halves.

It's really dangerous to have strange men living around your children like that. It is one of the most likely times for kids to be molested. Like seriously you might have seriously fucked up your kids forever.

If he’s as remorseful as you claim, he would undergo chemical castration as penitence

Every single one of these stories made me angry in some capacity. I LOVE RSLASH CONTENT

That crap makes sex especially painful. Stuff like this happens even in the states. They "stitched" me and now sex in that area is really painful. Lucky for me I don't have a sex drive, since my ob messed up the pleasure.

The "husband stitch" is one of the many reasons why you should have a doula present when giving birth

I can't believe the husband stitch is still a thing.

Wow…story #3 is giving me huge flashbacks to my worst ex. Thankfully I never married her or had a kid with her, but she did try to baby trap me a few times, and literally in every single other regard my ex was just like Connie. I feel so hard for OP here. That said, OP does really need to grow a backbone, kick the guys out, and leave Connie. Otherwise this is gonna get so much worse for him.

I have a buddy just like OP in the last story (minus the "friends" staying with them) and he really doesn't see the issue with his wife doing absolutely nothing. She doesn't work, cook, clean, raise their kid, or take care of anything. She just plays video games all day. I almost want to say she baby-trapped him. Doctors can't be disbarred, by the way. That's for lawyers. Doctors lose their medical licenses.

Looking at the title, I immediately knew the story that was going to be read. In short, OP's husband was a complete moron and made a change to HER BODY without her consent, and in a way that immediately impacts her comfort while simply existing.

Oof. Story 1 is awful. My husband and I got together as teens still, so I didn’t fault him when he asked me about that type of thing and if I was considering anything like that when we were expecting our first. He asked because he didn’t know, and when I explained it he became team “Why would anyone do that?”.

Plz tell me I'm not the only one who thought at first the husband was the obgyn surgeon and he did the husband stitch to her while she was asleep in their home.....

As someone who had their va jay jay stitched wrong with my first child, it fucking hurts!!! We couldn't have intercourse for months and it still hurt a lot. When I got pregnant again, they were shocked when they saw it, they got a higher up in to look, look through my files to find who did it and fired them. To describe it, I had to have an episiotomy, so that had to be stitched, then I had a little bit of opening, like maybe a millimetre, then stitched a little bit and then the rest of my opening. So as you can imagine it was awful. And no, my husband didn't ask for it, the woman just did it

Story1: I legit have no idea on how to move forward from that. I would look at my partner with a side eye forever.

My god that last story ... that dude is a lost cause, he's let his wife walk all over him for decades.

Does anyone feel iffy about R slash taking a sponsorship from a litteral gambling company? First Betterhelp, now this?!

First story: first story of this video, but not the first story I’ve heard about the “husband stitch.” Isn’t it illegal in the US to even consider doing this? Idk, but it sounds horrifying. And yes, I’m sure OP isn’t in the US, but still. Doesn’t mean it’s not horrifying.

Story 3: Wtf, OP is THE BIGGEST simp/doormat/invertebrate I've ever seen in my entire life. At this point, I don't even feel bad 'cause he let her do all this over and over and over. Why tf did he even let her or her "friend" in in the first place?????????????

So glad you’re still uploading. Used to listen to you all the times I’d mow my lawn. Saved me from the boredom 😂

i was asked by the doctor when my child was born, i cussed them and every other member of the hospital staff out. raised hell.

I think OP needs to marry Roy ... lol P.S OP is also an idiot. What is it going to take for OP to come to his senses?!

OP def needs to get a push from his mates and his fam. Sometimes even though you know you need to take the right step, you have to get a push from someone else. Maybe he doesn't believe he has a right to stop her, maybe it's something else idk. But yeah he's gotta learn that he deserves better and has to choose better.

Story 2 sounded like Puerto Rico, and then they mentioned a music video. I knew it! They warned her, but she didn't listen...

Omg the last story. WTF is wrong with that man?! He needs a serious kick in the butt, get some much needed therapy, and to get the strange men away from his kids! If those kids suffered any abuse from the men or his wife he would be 100% at fault for not protecting them. All I could think of in the beginning of the story was "please don't have kids with that woman" and OP did.

That last story: OMG! The wife is a hoarder. She hoards junk and guys. My guess is that she’ll keep getting into relationships with other guys, invite them to live with her, and move onto the next one. She’s making a reverse harem, and OP just hasn’t seen it yet.

I FUCKING knew it was gonna be a Husband Stitch

Just a little note for you r/slash. The kind of sponsor you got for today is considered to be gambling in my country, even if it doesn't look like it at first. While it might not be illegal for you to advertise such an app, I still wanted to warn you about such apps. They can lead to addictions, costing people their lives.

One problem the husband in the last story may have, is removing these guys. My ex-husband was always bringing strays home. “They’ll only be here a few days”, he would say. One time this really backfired, and after several months, after the “honeymoon period”, my husband was ready for him to leave. He refused. It was at that time that we found out, there is something called squatters rights. We were informed by the police that, we would have to take him to court to make him leave. Especially, since they have lived in OP’s house for this long, it will probably be a long process 😢.

Last Story: Yeah…i gotta agree with r/slash this dude NEEEEDS to grow a spine… He’s let his wife push him around for YEARS, she is a toxic, manipulative cheater (cmon we all know shes sleeping with at least one of these guys) and Op is letting her do it.

You want to feel bad for the guy in the last story, but from the very beginning and at every turn he made it basically impossible.

Story one reaffirms my decision to want a c section when I have a child. My partner wouldn’t make the Decision for me to get a husband stitch without my consent but still don’t even want that possibility Story three is so crazy that it almost seems unreal!! Y the heck did OP marry and procreate with this absolute trash human?! She didn’t need marriage, she needed therapy and medication! The fact she doesn’t see anything wrong with her obvious issues is wild to me

The fact that the husband who stitched his wife privates didn't see this coming is insane to me. The final story is so wild I have to believe it is true.

For the last story - Divorce and keep Roy. He at least contributes.

A husband stitch can make sex painful for the wife and has no benefit for the woman it is literally just for the husband

First story is an actual crime against humanity. FGM. Those "doctors" all need to go to jail for life.

The guy with the parasite wife needs to grow a backbone, Jesus Christ. Dude is being constantly manipulated and he’s just… given up, accepted this behaviour, and refuses to stand up for himself. His kids live in an extremely unstable household and he won’t even consider putting them first.

I hope to GOD OP reports her surgeon and leaves her husband. It may be "only one mistake" but that mistake is the size of the Red Spot on Jupiter (roughly 10,000 miles so big af) if he honestly thought an extra stitch would in ANY way benefit OP, then he should not be a doctor. He's making medical calls on his incredibly incorrect opinion. What would have happened if it was a life-threatening surgery and he put in his 2-cents, causing OP to die? What if the roles were reversed? I very much doubt he'd be pumped and ready to get fucked A) in a recent surgery area B) have the possibility of tearing the "beloved husband stitch" and C) have absolutely zero say on whether or not he even had to stitch in the first place. He, his family and the doctor can go skydiving into the same Red Spot as above with no parachutes, space suit, just in their birthday suits. Good luck, OP!

I thought the husband stitch was like an urban legend lol I only had c sections so i never had to deal with any of that.

dude the lack of backbone of op in the third story is so big that im surprised he is able to stand up

The first story is one of the reasons why I dont trust male OBGYN. Im feeling for this poor woman

"making it tighter" is insane. He didn't think "oh wait, will this be painful for my wonderful wife who JUST GAVE BIRTH TO OUR CHILD" no, he first thought of naughty time. That is a husband that doesn't care about you truly, sees you as some sexual object. He didn't consider anything except naughty time. That is disgusting. Poor wife.. she just had that man's child and that is what he decides??

Connie story-I hate to be a victim blamer, but 9 years of this ends up being on OP at that point! Connie is no longer the problem here

Story #1: LEAVE HIM!!!!! SUE THAT BASTARD!! Better yet, Accidents can and usually do happen!

21 years ago my wife and I had our first child. His head got stuck and they had to do an emergency C section to get him. He was born not breathing, and was sent to another hospital. The Dr. was NOT good. My mind was in a whirl. My wife in one hospital, my son in another 25 miles away. The next morning I was with my wife in her room. The Dr. came in and said, "if she just kept pushing longer she could have had him", I was so mad! He would have been dead! Anyway, he followed that up with, "oh, I put in a 'papa stitch' for you". All I could say was "OK" I was confused, did not even know what that meant. My mind was just in so many places at once. It never caused any problems for her or I, but he never asked either of us. At the time it was the least of our worries. Looking back now, he was in the way wrong.

It was op’s male OBGYN who asked the husband for his permission to use the “husband stitch”. He needs a good kick in his little man sack for bringing up the request to the husband without prior consent from the wife. The OBGYN is supposed to support the woman and not her husband.

rSlash making a gambling ad was not on my Bingo card for this year lol

Honestly, I feel like the doctor should be able to be sued over the "husband stitch". Like that's disgusting. And the doctors who "offer" it are trash human beings.

That guy married to Connie, I can sort of understand his position on the house and car. I was so over my cheating ex, that I was willing to just let them have everything, if it meant getting away.

I know a girl JUST LIKE OP’s wife in story 3. Literally one of the most toxic people I have ever had the misfortune of knowing. She paints herself as a victim, but truly she is only a victim of her OWN actions. She excuses her behavior on mental health issues, jumps from one guy to another, and systematically destroys their lives. Each man she touches is a victim of her manipulation and destructive behaviors. She painted one as a physically abusive man, who stole their things and ran off after she went to get a restraining order. When really, she drove him insane, he grabbed his things, and ran off. What she failed to mention, she made friends via online gaming, and she flirted with one of them IN FRONT of the guy she was dating and living with. When she was left alone and couldn’t afford rent (can’t hold a job, jumps from one educational course to another subsiding on student loans, hyper fixation on things she could NEVER maintain, AND 3 CATS come with her)….she told her sad story to her new online man, who opened his home states away. She packed up and zoomed off to live with him and his male roomie. The roomie got fed up with her bs and took off. And eventually, she found another online friend…flirted with him IN FRONT of the new guy too… Eventually she met this new guy at a hotel (yes, to fuck) and her bf caught her. She denied everything despite the evidence being rock solid against her. Bf left her as soon as he could break the lease on the apartment, and she moved in with this new guy… I should mention, her father called her a hoe for moving in with a total stranger and basically cut her off. She paints her mother as emotionally abusive and cruel, but I see her Venmo history…constantly getting money from her mother for groceries, bills, etc… TO TOP IT OFF…this new guy? Is 19, working as a bagger at a grocery store (where min wage is WAY LESS than $15/hr)…and SHE is 35! And the cherry on top? She had a baby with this kid…Still no job, still nothing going for her. She has guaranteed the destruction of her new man’s life, and that of her baby…