I have watched this video a few times, because I find it so inspirational. I did not realize Rabbi Twerski had passed before I noted your comment. May this great man Rest in Peace in God's heavenly kingdom.
He’s not talking about giving stuff he’s talking about giving your time, your ear your heart to someone else, listening to them working through their issues with them not running away.
Then how do I get through to you in common English how emphatically I enjoy raspberries? How is it any truer that love is giving not receiving than how that mans feels about fish? If you hear a dog's true bark, does that make the bark on the tree not true?
@@sethother8012 The point is that love itself is not the giving. Love is the wish-relationship to a state one is driven to reach with an attachment-overriding drive. Giving of oneself is part of this love drive and can therefore be used as a CBT ('as if' - 'fake it in order to make it') training to love the one given to. If that state is the well being of the other or the feeling of this well being, we call it the pure love of the other. If the loved state is of fish taste / texture / healthiness, it is love too, but not of the 'fish' s well being. Often we wish someone's well being for the sake of what s/he provides. This is also love but not a pure one as it depends on how much this love is needed for the ultimate love to that which is provided (fish taste / texture / healthiness). Hence the confusing use of love (giving of oneself) for 'selFish love' too, despite not being pure.
@@aronmu This is why I say the issue merely linguistics. Sure maybe he is making a bigger point about the difference between actually loving somebody or thinking they love somebody, but I am responding to his side point. . Thee is no reason to knock the guy who says he loves fish simply because English linguistics suck. How else is he supposed to say he loves fish? He is not TRYING to express well being for the fish in that scenario. He is simply saying he loves fish because he loves to eat it. The problem with the word "love" isn't how people approach it with regard to people but with the word itself. A person saying they love their wife, their kids, their friends, or cookies, all mean different things. We need better words to express these things. Maybe our language should have a word for "caring for someone's well being" that isn't the same word as the one the man uses to express how much he likes fish. The guru in this video seems to have distaste for the person who loves fish because he is comparing oranges and apples. Nobody is confused between who they care about and who they want to eat.
From the moment I saw this video, I knew it encapsulated all the wisdom that anyone needs to understand the nature of commitment and love. I have been sharing it with anyone and everyone, and will probably do so for years to come!
I have many of Rabbi Twerski's books, both the books he directed to a Jewish audience and those he directed to a wider audience. I recommend them all! He will be missed.
unavitadellamusica, perhaps they see the absurdity of the context, And the fact some guys being bothered,and berated, while he’s enjoying his fish dinner! Cheers 🥂
Rest in peace Rabbi Abraham Twerski. Somebody told me that he asked that at his funeral for people not to praise him, and that no one praised him there. What a humble person!! Hashem, the Creator, will praise him. You will be missed Rabbi. You helped me through your books to develop a sense of worth. I was in a dark place and you shed light. Thank you! I saw you as my grandfather. Things that I didn't know you taught me! I can't stop crying. You are now resting. YOur hardwork is with you, and you will receive praise from the One and Only.
All love is selfless, or it isn't real love. All giving is selfless, or it isn't real giving. For love to be Real love, it must be "Given" without the strings of expectations. To love is living your Faith Will
One simple statement from this video resonated so hard with me, that I actually got chills and teared up, "True love is not what you're going to get. It's what you're going to give." Sometimes, true love is as much about what you're going to give up, as much as it's about what you're going to give. Love is a verb, an ACTION word. This is so POWERFUL!
Why must there be a 'best example'. Every example you experience is the 'best'. We have our Love for G-d, mirrored in our love for our spouse. Our love of parents, brothers, sisters and other family. Love for friends. Love for the Jewish people. Love for all mankind.
Not all parents are definitely loving towards their children so I wouldn't say if you pick out a random set of parents that they will definitely be a good example of loving.
True love remains even if after a while, love is understanding between the two parties, love is to think about a person all the time and also to feel it in all patterns of your life, love means differences and problems, without it there is no taste for love, it will be boring love, love is sincerity no matter what The distances, love is a decision by the two parties to be together despite all the differences and difficulties that they can face, I loved someone with all my heart and my heart did not stop beating for him despite the distances that were between us، I wished her to not choose the easy way but she did ! I never hate her and I will always wish everything good for her .
I am so glad that so many people are seeing this video. It’s just so wonderful that I have come across this video too. Thank you so much, this is absolutely beautiful.
Dear Rabbi, thank you so much for your words of wisdom. Your books Growing and Living Each Day are among the most valuable treasures I’ve ever read. Almost “ each day “ I return to these lines which literally sparkle healing power. The ideal fuel for my soul. Wishing you only peace, love, happiness and the best health.
I had heard the example of the fish before, but Rabbi delved deeper to touch on points that I had not even considered. Such as the act of giving being an investment of our self love into others; to love the act of giving rather than receiving and to love those we give to, instead of giving to those we love. The latter meaning that we only give to those that we think serve our emotional and physical needs; and that isn’t true love. The former is; in which we love those who we give to, as giving is a form of imparting our self love to them. He was such a wise man. These videos are really helping me become a more well rounded person.
My actions all my life are the reflection of his words . It’s such a great feeling that you’ve been and are this person who he is talking about . And always be . True love ❤️
In Hebrew the root verbs are the essence of the meaning of the word. The word in Hebrew for LOVE is AHAVA. The root is H - V ( hav). This means TO GIVE. Love as Hebrew and therefore Jewish teachings understand it is simply and purely - TO GIVE.
Ophira Starr It’s interesting how a language determines our anticipation of reality. And how something seemingly easily translated might mean something completely different when broken down in another language.
I’m not sure that you are entirely accurate. The word for love in Hebrew is “אהבה”, thus the two letter root would be “אב”. Which means “father”... A common reference to God is Father. God is love and is the giver of all things. I was once a student of the Hebrew language, I did in depth studies which took me to Israel. I spent quite a bit of time learning the language, but an by no means an expert.
@@heavymetalcreationz711 No @Ophira Starr is actually correct, I go to Yeshiva and I had this lesson in 1st period Jewish study with my Rabbi. Many words in torah have meanings of truth that can lead you through life.
@@michaelnemm1316 I worked as a Hebrew translator for 4 years... If I am correct “to give” is “לתת” ... Unless you are referencing an ancient Hebrew translation I am unaware of you are not correct. When referencing God we understand as students of the Torah that God is the giver of all things, thus if we are to love as God loves we are givers. God provided all things for the children of Israel... I would be interested in actually speaking with the rabbi on this subject. But until then, I imagine we will just have to agree that the root of this is that we give of ourselves and become one with the person we love.
@@heavymetalcreationz711 Yes! I completely agree with you. When you are in love with someone, you do not just give material possessions. You invest a part of yourself in that person. And giving a part of yourself, your life, your existence into the hands of another person. Entrusting them with the responsibility of knowing who you really are, is a beautiful thing. The most beautiful thing. This is why for myself, I will choose to believe that Love means "to give" because there is truth in this that is golden.
Rav Twersky, I don't think "everybody loves themselves" is a given. I think that a lacking of self-love is exactly what holds us back from being able to give to another.
+Leviah Landau I don't think you got what he meant. It's that self love that people are using others for to achieve. Not looking to love others but an only desire to fulfill their own empty feelings.
I agree. I think the love he is referring to is "watching out for oneself". I believe you're referring to self-love as self-acceptance ("I see and accept all parts of me, even if I would rather not have some of them with me"). And I agree that more self-acceptance would yield more acceptance (read: love) towards others.
@Arikm7 Yes indeed, but I would say that the people who don't love themselves don't know what they should or shouldn't love, or even what love is. This goes as well for those who think that love is an illusion. All these people think/understand love as some type of never ending intense eternal passion for someone/something. This "love" is very ego-centered & very unrealistic. This word really contradicts the Hebrew word the rabbi is describing here is "Ahavah". Ahavah come from the word "Ahav' which means "to give". As a person who is part Filipino who has grown up in America but also been to the Philippines i can really see the difference between the two people when it comes to love. Americans i have found are easily the most ego/self oriented compared to Filipinos & are easily the most miserable despite their great prosperity & quality of life. Filipinos have none of these things they struggle just trying to make enough to survive, in fact on their own individually a Filipino couldn't survive, but yet Filipinos despite their struggles that one would tend to think would make life miserable are actually very happy & kind people. Filipinos are also very family/others oriented, always giving & considering others just as much if not more than themselves, & it is also because of they are family oriented they survive. I think the key here to these various individuals who don't think they love themselves or think love is an illusion should actually try loving other people & being committed to it never wavering & maybe not immediately but they will find that it has a tendency to transform things/those around them very much like it did for me.
@Arikm7 But that is the thing though my friend is that none of what i actually said per say disagreed with your sentiment or other's sentiment on the matter in fact I agree with you all I've tried to do was explain it & offer the solution. What i/the rabbi actually saying is that the western notion of love you describe "is" the problem of modern day relationships. This "love" that we supposedly feel for each other that causes to want to have relationships is not true love but rather self gratification, one just looking after their own needs & simply seeing the other person as a means to an end. This is why relationships fail so much in the west in modern times is because its "self" oriented, People who say they "love you" here in the west are just expressing that they see in you a means for their own happiness, at least in that moment, but if for any reason they don't feel "happy", they abandon that relationship & try to replace it with one they think is better. What has just happened here is extremely selfish to say in the very least. What is described with the Philippines example is what I was just merely using to give as an example of actual love in action, the valuing/giving to one's fellow man equivalent to your own self value. What i have described has nothing to do with culture because it is action, an action anyone can do if they so choose to although a culture may orient/facilitate people to adopt this mindset. But regardless of culture, what i have said is true nonetheless, culture ultimately has nothing to do with it. But maybe what i'm describing is a different word with a different meaning & has nothing to do with the word love as you said, but either way this new idea/concept(which isn't actually new at all) should still be embraced & shouldn't be rejected just because it uses the same word/sound to describe it, the word love in this case is just simply used because we don't have a word/better word to describe what causes us to have relationships with each other. I'm not telling you how you need to think/feel & i completely understand why you feel jaded over what we call love in fact I do to, but what we call love is not love, it's false & is the source of your bitterness, & the new definition/idea is what we need in our lives, & if we embrace it (based on experience) we will all be happy.
His words explain what I felt love should be and not something I could ever have verbalised. One day when I felt it for the first time not so very long ago, I realised and that's when I found his words - they hit the solar plexus and shows that love is central to everything good. NOT fish love.
Dear rabbi. I have to thank you deeply ,because you are true teacher of Torah.i love your stories and always I am at awe by your presentation and humility. I want to take a time to offer you my deepest condolences to you and your family and all Jewish people around the he world, may be some thing good come of it, y jewish people to go shabbat and be more United in difficult time.and pray more to God of Abraham. May God bless all people. AMEN.
Love is THE gas that drive's THE engine - But from TIME to time IT needs to be REFILLED.. For NO ONE can give ALL the time without receiving LOVE IN RETURN..
When it comes to that tough thing what we call as "love", it's always a superficial thing, you become a kid because you slowly start yearning for more and it's never enough. Almost a year ago, these sayings of Abraham Twerski more specifically this video was sent to me by someone. I'm glad it was. But i was so selfish that I yearned from him rather than giving him, it's not like I didn't, i did. I wanted to see that person infront of me someday holding on to his profession which he has been long devoting into. But at last I was still selfish, I'm sorry, i shouldn't have been. It's about giving, I will for you even if we're not meant to be...
Love is a word that is almost loss its meaning in our culture, So much of what is love is mostly fish love People say they love a flower or they love a fish or they love someone, in most people they only love the idea of it, . they love the Possession over the flower so they pick it and in that act it dies, Why are you eating fish? The young man says because I love it! Ohh so you took it out of the water and killed it that's why u love it? You dont love the fish you love urself.. A young couple falls in love what does that mean? Bith felt that the other could Provide him/her with all his physical and Emotional needs that's not love That is someone looking out for themself, that could be a friend or a family member as wel. . Making the other person a vehicle for their gratification, . And external love is not what I'm going to get but what I'm going to give, People make a serious mistake by thinking you give to those who you love, the realtor answer is you love to those who you give the print is if I give so thing to you I've invested myself in you. Self love is a given almost everyone loves themselves almost, by giving you can see apart of urself in them so you can love now that I'm anew, there's part or me in you I can love.. wow.. inlove it's not what you get by loving another it's what you can give without Expecting inreturn
Well I do know that water is an angel to us given a gift from God and I talked to my water and I tell it that I love it and that it's my angel into please heal me like God intended and my water tastes real good but I make sure that I connect with it because I really do feel that water is one of our angels for us it's traumatized from the noise of how worth is alive we must not take the things that God gave us for granted like we do and water is taken for granted and I love my water but I do talk to it and I know it hears me they did a research on it so my advice to anybody is to talk to your water everyday tell what you love it and that you know it's your angel from God I believe that and I'm healthy my faith makes me strong
''Love is not a relationship, love is a state of being; it has nothing to do with anybody else. One is not "in love", one is love. And of course when one is love, one is in love - but that is an outcome, a by-product, that is not the source. The source is that one is love.''
Shalom Rabbi Abraham.!! Peace and Love.!! ~ Peace be with us all has no mention of love, means "Care" careful or careless, no more no less with all due respect.! ~ Fish does not catch humans, Humans do.~
Thank you, Dr. Rabbi Abraham Twerski for this wonderful teaching, 'Fish Love' story :) is evergreen everyone wants to receive love, without giving...contemporary topic. Your clairvoyant spirit will live forever in our hearts.
I love Rav Twerski and I get what he's saying, however, my understanding is different. To invest (by definition) in something or someone is to expect a return of profit, therefore you have given nothing. Perhaps a better choice of word should have been employed. So keeping in line with Rav Twerski's train of thought, "investing" in love is "fish love." To give of one's self for the sake of comforting or elevating another's soul simply for the sake of love, no return is ever expected. The by-product of loving another's soul in this manner is an outward illumination of the Light of HaShem because ultimately, the one pure love is one given to you by HaShem through another.
The word "investing" does not mean only what it implies today in general. Many of the words have lost their original meanings or are corrupted today. That is why today we talk with the same words and yet understand each other lesser and lesser. The original meaning of the word "apology" for example is one of the many examples today that originally meant asking an opportunity from one to explain his point of view and even prove one is right but today means an excuse for an error or wrongdoing. I am sorry I cannot agree with your statement dear sir. The way I understand the investment is not only with its economic meaning. You may invest your time, energy, etc. expecting some payback but you can also invest in others for their own good. Blessed day!
