Ranking Every Kanto Pokemon I Could Beat Up 

17:58 "I don't know how I beat a ghost" Easy! Just bite it. It's super effective.

John having the same stats as Castform Mikey : Hail Yeah

Paras in Kanto: Punted to the moon Paras in Hisui: RIP

He made the Paras decision before he saw Legends Arceus. The poor, unknowing man.

John: I'm not looking at size Also John: Bulbasaur your a LITTLE toad...

On the one hand, John threatened to rip my mascot in half. On the other hand, its evolution got revenge.

It’s a common misnomer but Charmanders flame measures its health. The fire going out isn’t the reason it dies but rather a symptom of death.

John: I’ll beat up this ditto! Ditto: I can transform into a rhydon how do you like me now?

Gravler, Golem, Voltorb, Electrode, Koffing, and Weezing can all explode...

What John doesn't realize is that Dratini is 5′ 11″, which is pretty close to his height.

PM7: _talks about Crabs not being a Threat, due to only being able to walk sideways_ *Dark Souls 3 Crabbo wants to know your location*

Realistically even the more weakest Pokemon could probably kick the asses of the average human if they're a high enough level. Bless John's bravery and confidence.

“I’m a gentle giant” Proceeds to rate all kanto Pokémon over the prospect of punting them to the moon

"i can punt pikachu to the moon" ash's pikachu: allow me to introduce myself

At first he could beat up a ton of them, but as the dex goes on, there's more pokemon that can kill him to death

Johns stats are Attack:38 Defence:100 Speed:40 IQ:400 Total stats :578 Wow his stats are better then a bit of pokemon 27:20

John’s really got a lot of confidence in his ability to defeat elemental demigods

Clefairy: When I grow up, I wanna go to the moon! Pokemen7: Why wait?

6:52 Vulpix:*goes After his dog* John:Your free trial of life has ended

7:30 "You are a balloon i will pop you' "You are a fat balloon im still going to pop you" best part XD

you could say losing to a dumb bird with a leek would be, "far-fetched".

PokeMEN7: “I’m a gentle giant” (Makes a tier list on things he can beat up)

I love how John put like every baby Pokémon in punted too the moon😂😂😂😂

How to beat parasect: 1.take off the mushroom 2.finished

Plot twist: John lost against the Ditto and this is actually the Ditto-

"I don't know how to beat a ghost" just bite it

James kicked a Magikarp, it became a Gyaradose and called it's freinds. Anyone who's seen the episode knows what happens next

An alternate title - “grown man explains how he could beat fiction animals with magical powers”

“ mew can almost learn every move” mew used guillotine Pokemen7: “chuckles, im in danger”

I actually feel like whether or not a human can beat mr. mime would depend entirely on how good they are at acting... remember how they handled it in detective pikachu? you just need to out-mime the mime

“You are a ballon I will pop you.” I am done 😂

Ha. The "if it's not 100% accurate it's 50% accurate" reference.

"Moths are not intimidating" *Mothra would like to know your location*

Can we just take a moment to appreciate that John has the exact same base stats as a Castform.

This video was very Entertaining I just watched the full of it recommended definitely I loved it keep it up

“You went extinct for a reason” greatest way to say “I’m Gona win if we throw hands” in my life

John: I am not losing a fight to a balloon Pokémon. Me: Flashbacks to putting Drifblim in R.I.P

Yessssss!! Been waiting for this for ages, I’m expecting the moustache tier list next!!

Pokemen: yeah I’m going to hit that with a home run Alolan Sandshrew Causing a tyranitar to run away after beating it in a battle: oh so you think it’s very funny now?

Great video, interesting lists, keep it up!

Magneton and Ninetales are definitely wrong there! Magneton just stops your heart with electricity; Ninetales can “burn its prey to a crisp as it pleases”… WTF was John thinking?!

“Moths are not intimidating” People who played Hollow Knight and got to the final boss: *You sure?*

Now we need a Legends Arceus-esque teir list since you virtually encountered a good chunk of them in a "real-life setting"

1:24 "Venusaur might just eat me" had me dying 💀

John: *Puts Arbok in RIP* "That is the end of me" Me: Sure is, i mean ITS A 11'06" TALL SNAKE

Well, unfortunately, John will meet his demise because he underestimated a Ninetales or overestimated his own strength due to a hypothetical scenario. 🙏RIP Barbecued John.🙏

John: I will punt ekans to the moon. Ekans: *Suffocates John*

4:22 big mistake, you grab the head not tail (back of the head to keep the jaws from moving), you grab a snake by the tail it will immediately swing around and bite you

When it shows John’s stats it says he has a 70 special attack stat Me: What special attacks does my dude have

"That tail is very stabby looking" Just find a female Raichu to punt

Now that Pokemon Legends Arceus is out you just see whether the Pokémon on the list runs away (Buneary), stay put (Bidoof), want to battle (Shinx), or the ones that’ll attack you without hesitation (Skuntank).

Dugtrio can move thru the ground at light speed. Yes, this is Pokedex Canon

Whenever a Poketuber does one of these rankings, I feel like they should have a tab open with the Pokemon's Pokedex entries so that they could be as accurate as possible. Ex: Machop would absolutely destroy every Poketuber doing these rankings as "It trains in all styles of martial arts" and "can throw a hundred adults".

I think John has come up with a great VR game. Someone needs to make this happen.

bro really said he could punt squirtle to the moon man really hasnt seen how hard the little dude can bite 😵‍💫

the backround music is epic and nice video pm7

Meanwhile at 25:58 John: *Looks at Omanyte* "You went extinct for a reason." Forget punting it to the moon, you just roasted it back into extinction.

He really underestimates just how dangerous even the small pokemon can be.

I always watch your videos, I love your channel John.

18:45 I have caught so many crabs in my life LOL!! i know he meant Eating Crabs but still lol i giggled

2:50 butterfree: wait till I use stun spore

I mean, Squirtle being spun in a circle then thrown to the edge of the known universe is quite poetic It does share a few similarities with Bowser, no?

John is literally wishing he was in the Pokémon world just to beat up pokemon

I could probably physically punt Bulbasaur to the moon, but emotionally? imagine the toll

Magnetmite is a ball of steel. You would break your foot punting it to the moon

The video was awesome! The editing of john's face with different sportsmen was the most hilarious part. Tyler always does an incredible job in editing the videos.

do a kalos version of this, love it!

“Clefairy is not really that scary, and it loves the moon.” Also Clefairy: *ONE SHOT HITS LEGENDARY POKEMON* Clefairy my beloved.

Honestly if you put Vulpix in punt I would have dead panned purely because both Vulpix and Ninetails can slowly kill you inside out with their legend curse and foxes are normally demons in many cultures because of their trickster personalities. They are also very hard to grab. Edit: I then saw you move the Vulpix, good luck with being dragged out of death just to serve a fox. :3

Been waiting for this video since the Sinnoh one came out! LET'S GOOOO! Edit: I love the mental image of John punting pokemon to the moon. It's so entertaining and satisfying in my mind.

Idk who you are, where you came from, or WHAT possessed you to do these videos but this is the funniest most random thing I’ve seen

John 2022: "im gonna trick the floating rock by saying, oh were gonna dance in a circle then grab his hands and go "ba ba ba" lol poor geodude

The best thing about these videos is all the ways John describes his demise

Diglett can dig up and down at the speed of damn light according to it's Pokedex entry, so I think he'll hide Everytime u attempt to even try to hit him

Jhon: Slowpoke, I'd probably beat him in a fight. Slowpoke: Caches a shellder on It's tail. Jhon: It would kill me.

“You are a balloon I’m going to pop you you are a fat ballon I’m still going to pop you”😂🤣

"The tail is very stabby" the manga, which literally shows Raichu's tail being used like a kinfe: ...

“Moths are not intimidating” The Radiance: Hold my orange juice

Man, you got a lot of confidence if you think you can defeat a mountain lion

According to the pokedex, primape just strait up dies when it gets to mad.

I'd like to see Unova next, that'd be fun to watch. The best part is that the moths will finally have their revenge.

reality: any human probably loses to like 99% of all pokemon, like they can all use toxic 😭

Beedrill: Looks at his doxen the wrong way Jack: Rickity roon you're going to the moon

“He looks like me coming out of quarantine.” 🤣

your strategy for dealing with magneton would fail miserably... but it would actually work great against dodrio... i'm pretty sure there are several dex entries stating that dodrio's heads aren't the most cooperative, so you could probably turn them against each other fairly easily...

Johns logic: Pre-evolution: *puny* Last evolution: *will kill me*

Hold on John. I disagree with your Vaporeon pick. To directly quote my scource, "Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon on land, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not even getting into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water cats have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of." vaporeon would murder you man im sorry but im on team PM7 just about every time man

If you DARE punt Sprigatito, I'll be punting YOU

So, you are as Powerful as Castform?

I doubt I'd be able beat a regular dog, let alone 95% of these pokemon.

0:51 bulbasaur is a dinosaur you goon

13:11 john saying that castform is bad when he has the same stats lol, castform is actually good now lol

for the starters and other pokemon you got to take into consideration their moves if a metapod could slow down a onix I think you would just be stuck

I think psyduck is a draw... you punt it to the moon, and the resulting headache lets it just destroy you on its way into orbit

Just a heads up with ekins never grab a snake by the tail back of the neck allways because a snake is strong enough and flexible enough to twist around and bite you.

Little does John know, Magneton shares the same mind and functions the same so you can’t trick it whatsoever

The thing is a lot of these Pokémon can probably survive getting “punted to the moon”

John... I'm disappointed - - - - Jolteon, Flareon and Vaporeon would demolish you for punting Eevee. HOW DARE YOU

“no we are not beating a firebreathing Dragon” me: *blows out flame on tail* ez

John: moths aren’t that scary Me who has used bug spray on a moth: they r scary when u use bug spray and it twitches everywhere