ranking the crimes of all the twilight movies 

Hey, did you get contacts?

cant forget the crime of bella just holding a mini cactus in the opening scene of the first movie to show that she loves arizona ☠️☠️

The fact that Edward is a hundred year old man and Bella is a high schooler is ALMOST as bad as Jacob imprinting on a baby IMO.

My fave one is Edward trying to gaslight Bella into thinking that him stopping the car was just an adrenalin rush and then saying you can google it 💀😂

Another crime is jasper literally being a confederate soldier😂😂

Jacob falling in love with and grooming a baby is horrible enough, but it gets worse if you know Stephanie Mayer has a brother named Jacob.

I thought this video was going to be about the actual crimes they committed in Twilight, like breaking and entering, Carlisle’s medical malpractice, etc. 😂

I can't believe the whole Jacob getting Bella warm scene and telling her it's "faster if she takes her clothes off" and then telling Edward "I am hotter than you" didn't make it into the crimes, that's a whole ass absolutely not

my personal favorite crime that you missed is in eclipse where edward and jacob take bella off to hide her from the battle and she’s freezing to death and edward essentially admits to would rather having bella freeze to death than jacob cuddle her for warmth

Another crime is when the cullens pull up to the highschool parking lot and emmet is casually standing in the car with his torso sticking out the sunroof. Like why did he do that?!

NOOO THE BLUE TONE IS SO ICONIC AND BEAUTIFUL AND DONT YOU DARE

The crime of “it’s the fluorescents” and then walking away without even saying goodbye, is probably my favorite crime💀it always has me giggling, like sir elaborate, don’t just dip💀

Can we talk about the fact that in New Moon when Edward calls, Jacob is the one who picks up the phone. Like Bella was standing RIGHT THERE! Why didn’t she answer the call coming to her own house!? And what person automatically reaches to answer the phone at SOMEBODY ELSES HOUSE!? The f**king AUDACITY of this man astounds me. The whole conflict could’ve been avoided if Bella just picked up her phone smh

Missed opportunity of adding Edward telling Bella that if they have sex he could accidentally kill her during it 😭😭 that was such a wtf did he just say moment

the worst crime is them 3 vampires from the first movie walking everywhere BAREFOOT like whose idea was that?? it was literally RAINING 24/7 and yall had them walking barefoot on all that wet grass and mud 💀💀💀

I hate that I still know this but they got a house to destroy with their wild vampire honeymoon sex, and all the other couples got one too after they got married. I think it's explicitly said that Rosalie and Emmet demolished their house the first night

TO BE FAIR! If I were a Cullen who was witnessing the freak of nature that is Bella’s pregnancy, I’d google vampire baby too

Twilight's crimes: - being so ubiquitous that superior peices of vampire and immortal x mortal fiction will to some extent remind people of it. - romanticising paedophilic grooming (wtf else is Jacob/Renesmee?). - portraying toxic codependency and treating your partner like a child as romantic. - vampires burn in the sun, the don't sparkle. - having good background characters that the story should have been about and wasted potential. - giving your tribe of werewolves who engage in sorta dubcon relationships and occasional pedophilia the same name as an actual native American group.

I truly believe if you tried to rank all the crimes in the books we would be here for more than a month

I've always thought Carlisle should have died in the end. I mean I love the character of course but his death would have been the most impactful for the overall plot: the man who has created them all, the man who has shaped this family together across the centuries out of shear will -- would have died to protect it in the end by the hands of his "brothers" (the Voltury) and Edward would have had to be the one taking on the mantle, becoming head of the family and having to fight to keep them all together after this tremendous loss. But that would have meant actual character development for Edward (going from selfish to selfless and from solitary to community leader). And we all know Stephenie Meyer was like "Girl noooo, my Ed is already perfect, there's no need for him to change he can do no wrong!"

More crimes: - The Cullen’s moved to Forks despite knowing about what happens to the Quileute when vampires are near, they could have moved anywhere in the Olympic Peninsula just not 10 minutes down the road from your mortal enemy 😬 - Eddie the drama queen was planning on leaving Bella back when she was in the hospital in Phoenix and lied for like 6 months that he wouldn't leave her - Edwierd knew that Bella would go catatonic if he left her, Alice even warned him and he still did it - Dustward pretended to be Carlisle on the Phone when Jacob picked it up at the Swan's houses in NM - The Cullen’s call the shapeshifters „Mongrols“ 😬😳 and Bella is totally okay whit that than her future in-laws call her supposedly „best friend“ by a derogatory term but gets mad when Jake calls them Bloodsuckers, mamma that’s literally what they are 😂😅 - Charlie congratulates Jake for kissing Bella against her will in Eclipse - Crustward the Clown did send Jake a wedding invitation despite Bella telling him that she doesn’t want to have her lover at the ceremony because she doesn't want Jake to go through more pain - Jacob Black leaving his whole pack and life behind to protect the girl he will never have because she got herself pregnant whit little baby Roadkill, Sir, at some point we have to sit down and set boundaries because she ain’t worth it, she ain’t L’Oréal Paris 😂 - Isabella Cullen naming her child Regurgitate - Bella the hypocrite yelling at Jake for nicknaming Rock paper scissors “Nessie” and insisting that her name is Resausage but jumps your throat when you call her Isabella, miss, I can't find the logic behind that - Bella was ready to hit and run after her transformation into a vamp and never ever see Charlie ever again, breaking all ties, if it wasn’t for Jake he would have never learned about Rancid Ravioli and would have lost his only daughter 🥲 - Charlie Swan starting to date his late best friend's wife less than 8 months after Harry's death, that man ain‘t even cold yet, and you are already on your way to becoming Seth and Leah‘s stepdad 🤡 that’s not how I interpreted “Take care of my wife and children when I'm gone.“ 😂 Ps: Imprinting is involuntary and Jacob didn’t choose Restoration Hardware, if he could he would have definitely imprinted on Bella, he even tried in Eclipse, he literally told Eddo to trow Rental car out the window when he told Jake to take her after her birth, Jake is now Ranch Dressings slave whit no mind of his own, as long as she wants to have him around he has no choice but being around the Cullen’s every day. He’s only purpose in life now is to serve Red lentil and make her happy 🥲🥴

the terrible kissing noises being awkward are only further capitalized by the memories I have of watching this with my mom and dad in the living room as an 11 year old. Those moments are burned in my brain forever😳

"she was feeling a little loca" IM DEAD LMAO

How could you not include Robert singing Let me Sign while Edwards biting her in the first Movie. Thats Iconic.

I love how your 'oh naur' progressively got better throughout this video (as an Australian)

The blue filter is ICONIC I will not be accepting any other opiniyons at this time.

Ok, the ring was Edward's mother's ring. So he wasn't spending any money on it, he was giving her a family heirloom. Why the filmmakers chose _that_ ring idk. But it's the one thing I will defend Edward on

you saying twilight and 15 years ago just gave me a fucking heart attack, thanks

I'm literally dead right now. When I saw the title of the video I thought you meant like, *actual* crimes that the Cullens or maybe other characters committed throughout the movies, for example murder for every time a side character gets sucked dry by a vampire, or physical assault when Bella punches that wolf guy in the face. Your version is cool too, though.

Naur! Bella's depression montage was so slay! On second thought, maybe therapy is what I need too #notlikeothergirlsbutjustlikebella #alittlebitloca

Charlie is so slay

The birthing scene: from the moment bellas back snapped this whole scene just passed by me, my brain couldn’t even process what i was seeing back then

You can't talk about the Cullens entering the cafeteria and not mention Emmett's bag of hard boiled eggs 😅💀

Unfortunately i can explain why Edward rips into Bella's stomach to get Reneesme (god she has the hardest name to spell) in the book it explains that since Bella is a carrying a vampire child...somehow the skin of her belly is like vampire's skin(?) And vamp skin is often described like marble so the only way to break it is through vampire teeth. And the cgi for the baby is cause in the books shes described as like otherwordly and very beautiful for a baby and for her rapid aging. How i still remember the books and it's been over 10 years since ive read them i do not know 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hilarious that you put wearing converse to prom as one of the crimes, because in the book she actually wears heels (heel) because Alice told her to, and she points out that she can barely walk and Edward is just way too happy about it and literally says that he needs to thank Alice for that💀💀

I am fully convinced that Bella has BPD and Edward is her favorite person. That is why him leaving was so traumatic for her and why she does all of the reckless things she does. I could go on and on about my theory

9:42 just to add to the uncomfortable feeling, when edward says “hold on tight spider monkey” it was improvised. robert pattinson made the conscious decision to say that.

for me it’s edward‘s behavior on the island after their first time. actually his behavior all the f**ing time, he’s just awful.

I was waiting for the Aro giggle… which would either go in iconic or giggles

You could say Bella was....livin la viva loca 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The number 1 crime should be Jacob’s inability to accept the word “no.”

As an aussie, your 'oh naurrr' was on point

I would just like to say the tripping and falling and just sleeping there, is TOTALLY something my dramatic ass would’ve done over a guy at 18.

i really thought emmetts bag of eggs would be on this list

I think what was more of a crime about the new moon “funeral” call was that Jacob KNEW it was Edward calling, KNEW that Bella had jumped off a cliff, and KNEW how it would come across

"She's different. She's not like the other girls, she's got two left feet" LMAO

I went to film school for a year and one of my teachers was the production designer for new moon and let me tell you HOW much we talked about the months passing scene… and he would play the song from that scene every day before class

so we’re not gonna mention the bag of eggs Emmet carries when the Cullen’s walk first walk in

I Will never get over Jake being 3 years younger than Bella. Like ever. Add to the fact that literally all the wolves except Sam were under 17… (besides Leah and I don’t even want to start on the travesties committed against her) or how Charlie brushed off him assaulting her. Or Bella’s lack of a support system when she had depression. Cutting Jakes hair. There’s a lot wrong with this series now that I’m an adult.

minor correction: rose and emmet had their own house at some point, as did alice and jasper. in forks, they stay together in one house to keep up the adopted family act. in the book edward says that emmet and rose had to have their own house after they got married because everyone else was sick of hearing them have sex :/

As an Aussie, most of those "oh naurr's" were actually pretty solid

Edward may be technically 117 but the way he's never thinking through the consequences of his actions clearly shows that his emotional development stopped at 17. A mature adult doesn't leave his lover in a vampire infested forest in the middle of nowhere. It's arrested development.

We've gone full circle from making fun of girls wearing sneakers under dresses, to accepting it and it being trendy, to again making fun of girls wearing sneakers under dresses. What a world

Ok but the music during the wedding scene is a crime Also the "I'm hotter than you" scene, it's just iconic

the only crime missing was the scene where carlisle bandages bellas arm in the beginning of new moon because that scene got me giggling hihi, their s*xual tension came out of nowhere

Not me thinking this was going to be their literal crimes😂💀

You are so right and you should say it. On every aspect. How can a series with this many good actors be so bad? It's a mystery. The magic of Twilight. What truly makes those films special. When I was a teen I was a stan of those books, but boy. Boy. These films made me realise how messed up some of that stuff actually was. In the books it was all so subjective and alright from Bella's pov, but those films? Goodness gracious bloody me. One thing tho, the volturi? Absolute slay. Those three evil overlords can gut me and I'll thank them. Marcus my beloved. Caius I want your face. And Michael fucking Sheen as Aro, the gayest straight bored evil vampire of them all. Ugh

There's a meme on the scene where theyre in the forest and she said you drink blood and are pale white and he's like hes like SaY it bella and she says Tampon

Congrats on being picked up by the algorithm. Glad it brought me here I think I'll stay🎉

my freinds name is bella and whenever i say her name i always need to add "where the hell have you been loca?"

justice for charlie FOR REAL also I love the twist bc I somehow had never been spoiled and it made me laugh SO HARD when I first watched it in 2020 - you make a great point that it totally cheapens everything.. but it’s worth it for the perfect stupid ending to a ridiculous series imo lmao

Jacob imprinting on a baby is fo sho the worst. Worst because it didn't need to happen - it was just smeyer's attempt at giving Jacob a "happy ending" or whatever, after brutalizing his character in Eclipse.

In the books, i believe bella insists to her mum that it's ok for her to go off, she saw her mum was always waiting for the bf to come and they couldn't spend time together and she didn't wanna get in the way so she insisted to go to forks, her mum didn't make her do that

bella slipping and falling in the first movie was actually not scripted. kristen stewart fell for real and they just left it in lol

palefaces is what jacob called them, so she called herself that in new moon as a reference to what he said. she wasn't mentioning her complexion out of nowhere.

Ive seen one (1) video of yours, forgot to subscribe, and have been searching far and wide since. Thanks for existing i love ur vids!!

You’re brilliant and I’m literally obsessed w u

I read once Kristen actually slipped. It was a blooper but if fit Bella's character so well they kept it.

I found ur channel like yesterday from the nepo baby vid and now im obsessed

You deserve to have such a larger following!! Don't give up on RU-vid

Found you from your Nepo baby vid and I really like your content so far! I just really like your tone/speaking voice and the chill vibes. Excellent editing + sound and video quality too.

Just found your channel and already binging your videos. Nice job!! Loving your sense of humor and analysis

I was scrolling when ur thumbnail caught my eye. And then once clicking on ur page and hearing the first 10 seconds of ur intro and the way u spelled opinion😂😂cheffs kiss lol.

just came across your channel, and dare i say, i've hit a gold mine

Omg I love this. This is gonna sound weird, or maybe it just does to me, but you’re so wonderfully charming. And hilarious, obvs.

hey this was rly fun to watch thanks :)

I’ve never seen ur videos before today. 1st the vid on nepo babies was recommended. Which I enjoyed. I saw this twilight vid & I am so glad I went with my gut. I THOUGHT it was going to be a list of actual crimes for each character & then u would add up how much jail time they could get (& how much time victims would need to spend in therapy). This was so much lighter to watch then that (it’s good I’m not a you tuber)! Enjoy ur day everyone.

No but I’m so old that I know Jaime for being Jace and not Vecna 😭😭😭

correction: edward was not chomping on bella when she gave birth, he was injecting her with venom so she would survive the bloodloss

you're so funny 🤣 I love spending my afternoons hearing you talk ~ Take care 💗

this is one of the best twilight videos lol

I never clicked so fast in a video!

this is so good

Honestly i thought u were gonna ACTUALLY rate the ACTUAL crimes in the movies, like Edward stalking Bella or Jacob falling inlove wit a baby

Can u pls do this format with more media it’s so funny, like idk but a Riverdale one would be crazy but the video would be never ending 😭😭😭😭

I actually think Bella didn't go to the bookstore again after the guys tried to (you know what) her and all!

i loved this video!

Just wanted to say that Edward didn't read Alice's mind in New moon Rosalie told him about Alice's vision in hopes he would stop moping and get over her if he thinks she's dead(not sure how she thought that would work but whatever) and Jacob didn't hang up edward just flat out crushed his phone

They couldn’t get him properly fitted contacts??

You are so funny 😂💯 RU-vid recommendations made my day. Thank You

Thank u RU-vid recommended! Loved the vid hehehe

In the book she describes the native Americans as ‘Exotic ‘ …. THEY WERE HERE FIRST

There were a lot of actors in smaller/bit parts in Twilight that were incredible.

The fact I got on the back of a strange man’s motorcycle when I was like 20…..oh naur is right

what a queen 🤌

Someone drew connections between mormonism and twilight and now I cannot unsee it

Holy fuck i absolutely forgot rami malek was in twilight, that just hit me like a train

I also wanted to know why they got a whole ass house and then were immediately told they had to leave Forks lol

i was actually shocked when i saw your subs, i just got introduced to your channel and im obsessed! keep up the good work

All in all, Carlisle is the best And also, if we’re talking about great actors in these films, we can’t forget Lee Pace as Garrett. I mean, his first line was the best “Shut up” ever