ranking tortured poets and FIXING the track list *controversial* 💀 

Sign up to Riverside here: creators.riverside.fm/Swiftologist and use my code Swiftologist to receive 15% off individual plans! ⭐💞🎤

“It is an insult to say you’re so boring I had to date an idiot to feel something” LMAO that got me, literally have experienced the same thing before.

well yes is now permanently part of my vocabulary and i blame you i literally cant stop saying it 😭

My friend said she hears Fortnight as an outro, because the melody kind of sounds like it’s fading away. I think that’s kind of interesting.

Honestly I think Peter is important in the establishment of how matty healy acted when they were in the relationship and how he promised to fix himself for her. It helps explain the past and how Taylor has finally realized that there’s no helping a lost cause, for the “smallest man who ever lived” can never truly grow up.

"earblood" is really quite a lovely, somewhat horrific turn of phrase

Guilty as Sin is the #1 diva in my mind and I am so happy you agree. The storytelling is so rich- the melody and build-up projects a feeling of REVELING in longing for someone, being with someone in the fantasy of one’s own mind, which is what the song is about. I enter another dimension when this song comes on.

I love your reordered track list for the standard version narratively, BUT the album ending with “try and come for my job 🤪” is sending me lol

Peter going in your delete actually hurts my soul

i get so happy whenever you call me a diva

Standard Edition: 1. So Long, London 2. Guilty as Sin 3. Fresh Out The Slammer 4. The Alchemy 5. But Daddy I love him 6. The Tortured Poets department 7. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys 8. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived 9. Down Bad 10. How Did It End? 11. Fortnight (Ft. Post Melone) 12. imgonnagetyouback 13. loml 14. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart 2 AM Edition: 15. I Hate It Here 16. I Look In People's Windows 17. The Albatross 18. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus 19. The Black Dog 20. The Prophesy

one thing about me is i will always be SEATED for a swiftologist ranking & reshuffling

I think How Did It End? would make a great opening track. mostly lyrically. imagine releasing an album after a breakup, people tuning in to get the tea and then starting off with that song. that would gag. and it's a beautiful song on top of being a plot twist

Florida wasn’t hitting for me at first until I realized Matty is literally the personification of the “Florida man” meme/trope especially since the song itself is a metaphor for a rebound, but using Florida as the “rebound” didn’t make sense until that hit me 🤣😭

I went to n3 of the Paris Eras Tour shows and the TTPD set was incredible. My dad came with me and even though he isn't a Swiftie he was impressed. Also he says his favorite album is Fearless and she played Hey Stephen ( his name is Stéphane ) so I love Taylor for that

"Those first three songs. That was an interesting journey that we had." Kinda agree. They felt like a three track long "i forgot that you existed"

Clara Bow is indeed understated. That’s partly why to me it’s maybe her most evocative song, using fewer words to say so much. I get such big feels out of it, maybe because I’m 71 and you don’t get to my age without experiencing many different kinds of losses. I’m sure I cried the first ten times I listened to it, first for Taylor and then for me.

I’m not the biggest fan of Peter but I find myself going back to it just to skip to the bridge. The whole, “I won’t confess that I waited” part hits somewhere deep😭

It makes me sad that you don't appreciate How Did It End? I think it's one of the most beautiful and interesting breakup songs she's ever written. The way it hones in on the specific feeling of having to open your wounds every time you explain your breakup to anyone you know and to me it's so eloquent and it hits me so hard every time I hear it!

I think it's so interesting how everyone is so sure that Cassandra is about snakegate, because I don't think it is. She wouldn't have needed to use Cassandra as a character for that! Cassandra is a figure from greek mythology that was the priestes of the temple of Apollon in Troy (the one with the Troyan horse, which she told people about beforehand). The god Apollon took a liking into her, so he gave her the gift to foresee the future with extreme accuracy. He then tried to make a move on her and when she didn't give into his sexual assault, he couldn't take the gift away, so he instead cursed her, so that no one would ever believe her, even tho if they did, terrible things could be prevented (like Troy being destroyed) Now what does that have to do with Taylor Swift? She herself had a SA case a couple years ago and on her Rep Tour gave a speech about how glad she was, that the jury chose to believe her and rule in her favor and how she doesn't know where she'd be if she hadn't been believed (she included that speech in the movie, so it was clearly important to her that as many people as possible heard it) To then go and choose a character as a standin for herself, that was literally cursed to never be believed because she didn't give into sexual assault speaks volumes to me. This song is about men claiming power over women, men being believed over women in our society, men only being okay with women having power, as long as it serves them, men thinking women owe them sexual favours for being nice. I can't dislike this song because of this very powerful message it holds, when you take the whole of it into account (which doesn't mean I'm trying to change your mind, if you don't like it that's that, I just think it's terribly slept on and misunderstood)

Idk but ttpd song just gets me i can't stop listening for no particular reason but "everyone we know understands why it's meant to be" line is just a vibe

Waiting for Madeline to chime in immediately once Zack mentioned “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus” lol 21:07

Peter deserves better ! The bridge is such a standout. I absolutely can't agree with Peter erasure.

I feel like fortnight is about forever running into an ex over and over when you’ve both moved on and you have the urge to delete both of your new partners and risk it all to get back with them even though it was a quick fling, using settling down in a suburban way as a metaphor. How the hospital imagery makes sense with that, idk…. The song makes more sense with each listen but it’s still really weird

the transition from loml to I Can Do It is the highest peak of the album for me personally. glad to see that you see it too!

I could be wrong but I’d guess Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me? may resonate more with women - similar to the way mad woman does. there are parallels of lived experience of being lured, hurt, caged and called crazy, but I totally agree I don’t think it’s satire at all !

People are sleeping on Peter. It’s the sequel to cardigan after all!

20:43 the anthology is woodvale’s reincarnation

Imgonnagetyouback is my obsession. It's playing in my head everyday on repeat.

the most needed reshuffling

Well well well… not that we care, but let’s talk for the sake of conversation 😅. I typically agree with most of what you say, and that stands in this video. BUT… I’ve always found the fandoms opinion of track 5 to be so interesting. It seems to be a popular opinion that SLL isn’t the best track 5, and to that I say, who are we to say what a track 5 should be? Track 5 isn’t ours, it’s Taylor’s. When she places a song there, she’s telling us something. She’s placing her most emotionally jarring song there, not ours. With that said, I think SLL is the perfect track 5. I think the breakdown of a 6 year relationship is massively complex and confusing and drawn out… it’s much easier to write about an intense 2 week situationship than it is to peel back all of the layers of a longterm relationship and expose yourself to the feelings about a relationship you thought was the last one… the forever. And if we really think about it, the rest of the album is a result of her leaving that relationship, wanting something entirely different, and realizing she threw yourself head first into something that was ultimately similar to the last. I think for track 5 to be directly linked to the turkey, when the rest of the album is either pointedly about the rat and/or a mixture of the 2… well, yes. Is that not the ultimate track 5? Is that not her saying hey, I’m distracting you with all of this chaos over here, but don’t you see…. the ending of my life in/with London was actually the most devastating thing to have happened to me? 🤔

I love “I Hate It Here” because I am love disassociating!

I'm going to make a case for so high school. At first listen I thought WTF? Why is this on the anthology? I understand feeling like it doesn't fit the narrative of the album, but the song has grown on me a great deal and I think including makes it a more impactful song. The juxtaposition of the devastation over the Matty breakup, to then finding someone who makes you feel like you're 16 again is powerful.

I felt so good and so heard when you said the opening track is So Long, London, i have said since the album came out, So Long, London is the perfect opening track, honestly i 100% agree with the first 3 tracks

Black Dog is my "ABSOLUTELY NEVER SKIP KNIFE TO YOUR THROAT" song. The guitar riff on "screaming" is gorgeous.

YOU’RE SO CLOSE TO 100k. So well deserved

PREACH! taylor literally outdid herself with "Guilty as Sin?" no one can change my mind

Defending WAOLOM: IMO it goes so hard at Taylor's pain, frustration & anger at all the various people (both professional & personal), media (social & professional), and fans/haters who have negatively impacted her. It evokes so many emotions that I'd feel a huge loss if it suddenly disappeared.

I really like that you only do sponsers that you Genuinely use yourself and believe in

I think the tagline for Fortnight is literally “I love you, it’s ruining my life” which to me seems to encapsulate most of the records narrative as a ‘tortured poet’ that was the vibe I got at least🤷‍♀️ great video!🫶

I’m gagged on the disrespect for ‘ I can fix him, no really I can” that whole “good boy that’s right” ARTISTY sends me

I personally think fearless doesn't even need a tracklist remake for me fearless tracklist is the more organized one. BUT DEBUT IS BEGGING for a tracklist remake because that wasn't even a tracklist it was just a collection

I love the idea of the album starting with ‘Oh, here we go again’ and ending with ‘How did it end?’ 🥲 So here’s my track list: 1. My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys 2. Down Bad 3. Guilty as Sin? 4. So Long, London 5. loml 6. Fresh Out The Slammer 7. The Alchemy 8. The Tortured Poets Department 9. But Daddy I Love Him 10. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) 11. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived 12. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart 13. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus 14. Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 15. The Black Dog 16. The Prophecy 17. How Did It End?

i feel like thank you aimee was put on the album because of kim using "speak now" on her instagram story as a reminder "i still hate you"

In my version of the album I have smallest man and then black dog, those are the angry sister songs to me. She’s just pissed as hell 😅

“thanK you aIMee, delete” Well yes!!! “And yknow what, where’s Cassandra? She’s going there too” IM GAGGEDDD 💀💀💀 That 1,2 punch was so funny I can’t

The production twist at the end of FOTS is so fun. The way the music gets a bit nebulous for a few seconds and then shifts to something else entirely is really cool and one of my favorite bits of the album.

“Our field of dreams…” “ Your arsons match” perfection. Love your shuffle.

since you asked for non-taylor-related video suggestions- I remember you mentioned wanting to talk about chappell roan, and I personally would devour that video!

For me, when something just makes sense and is perfectly balanced, all I can do is sigh with happiness at the feeling that all is right with the world. You put so much thought into this revised track list, and all I can do is sigh at its perfection.

I agree with a lot of what you said. Skips for me: Thank you Aimee Robin The Manuscript Florida!!! Cassandra (most times) Except: Peter however is a masterpiece in my household. Just a stunning song. Same for So high school. Same for The Bolter MBOBHFT is a bop! So fun.

I’ve found I like Cassandra a lot more when I think of it as a fictional story about someone who was friends/lovers with “Cassandra” and was ostracized by the same people who killed her. It’s one of my favorites in that light.

Thats such a cool tracklist! Here is mine: 1. The Black Dog (opening track) 2. So Long, London 3. How did it end? 4. My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys 5. loml 6. Guilty As Sin? 7. Fresh out the Slammer 8. The Tortured Poets Department 9. But Daddy I love him 10. I can fix him (no really I can) 11. I hate it here 12. Down Bad 13. I Can Do it With a Broken Heart 14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived 15. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus 16. I Look in People's Windows 17. The Bolter 18. The Prophecy (end track)

Peter and how did it end are soo good...

Pretty sure "Robin" is code for Christopher Robin who grew up "sheltered" in the safe 100 acre woods, with friends like a Tiger named Tigger who bounced "higher and higher." Kids born in 1989 were the last sheltered generation. Taylor would have had to watch Disney and Pooh on VHS tapes over and over. I believe the song laments how her sheltered childhood ill prepared her for the harshness of reality. But made her "brave" enough at 11 to storm Nashville. My daughter born in 1989 upon high school grad and starting real life at 17 said "why didn't anyone tell me how hard it is out here." The song can't be the depiction of a child with autism.

my boy online breaks his favorite girl is my favorite by far! the chorus is amazing with its vocal layering, it creates an incredibly fitting mood for the message

so high school is one of my favorites it’s always in my head😭

Justice for How Did it End? 😅 I find it so devastating and beautiful

The Black Dog has been my comfort song anytime I feel anxiety since the album dropped. I love it sm. Just makes me feel calm separate from LOVING the lyrics.

Can’t wait to watch!! I always love seeing how you re-shuffle the albums since your track lists always make sense and this album desperately needs some reshuffling 😭

Florida!!! is straight into the cannon for me lmao I love it

I honestly think “fresh out the slammer” would be a perfect opening but that would mean cutting so long london entirely and basically picking up where you’re losing me left off (i do like so long london dont get me wrong but i think that exactly story was told with you’re losing me already)

AHHHHH SHE PLAYED the alchemy after she said this is my 87th show which is Travis’s number so is it actually about him or did she just do that cuz of the football references

I don't think that _My boy only breaks his favorite toys_ 's metaphor is NOT weak because: it's multi-layered. It's three metaphors in one, it's an incredible writing feature and serves the narrative as the moment in the album where she signals "hey, remember my 'angel boyfriend' who I didn't wat anyrhing bad written about? WE'RE GOING AT HIM NOW", cuz that is a deep cut, my friends.... Look: 1) In the The Great War scheme of things, they lost, but not because of her, media's underdog on who no one bets on having a long lasting relationship, but because of him-- she was The Man, he was the sickest army doll, purchased at the mall, to delicate (yes, delicate) to withstand the tempests of the world, unlike a less "refined" but stronger doll would; 2) G.I.JOE -- how is no one getting it? Also, it has the additional layer that _"G.I"_ stands for "galvanized iron" -- he is encapsuled in an outer shell of protection that is innefective, because it can rust (between telephones aaah), but also keeps her from accessing what's on the inside; 3) straight out calling him childish, good bye London Boy, a failled attempt to be Ken to her Barbie, almost like if Mako, from Avatar Korra did try to be a cinema vedette instead of Bolin: he would fail, because he doesn't all that endearing BolEnergy Kenergy that we all know and love; All of that in a regular +/- 4 min song that taught me 2 new words ( _"Lithany"_ and _"Rivulets"_ ), but didn't sound over verbose! 10/10 for me 😀

This is the only valid TTPD tracklist btw!

Almost 100k!! So excited for you to hit that milestone. I think I found you around 22k subs. Congrats on the success!

When you said “Scorpio Taylor” I felt so seen! lol 😂 as a fellow Scorpio, I’ve always felt that she must have some heavy Scorpio placements in her chart. When I googled the first thing I found was Scorpio in Mars, Pluto and ascendant. She also has a lot of Capricorn mixed in which also tends to be a bit vindictive and reactive when hurt. Everyone knows about the scorpions sting, but a Cap will hold a grudge just as long as we scorps will.

Omg! You literally articulated everything I've been feeling. I felt like my thoughts would be unpopular opinions, but we are really on the same page.

I hate it here is an absolutely gorgeous song ❤❤ It deserves better from the fandom

Thank you for making a Spotify playlist with your reorganized track list! I’ve been listening to her “5 stages of grief” playlists and it’s an interesting new way to listen to her music vs album by album. I think your track order makes a lot of sense and I look forward to listening to it.

Joe Alwyn is such a flop he couldnt even get the main role on his break up album

Thank you so much for putting The Black Dog straight into the canon. Although I wish it was more upbeat, I love it so much!

Thank you Z! I thought this Sunday was going to be boring but you‘ve blessed 😇

paris night 4 confirms the alchemy is about travis kelce

Just after you released this video, Paris N4 happened! Wore his jersey colours, mentioned his jersey number and immediately sang Alchemy and looked up at him! I agree there is something off about the song that makes people think otherwise, but at the end of the day, she is showing us herself that she meant this for him 🥺 She was just too cute yesterday ❤

thank you we've been waiting for this

I'm here just jumping around your videos from different times and I'm enjoying bingeing everything! I don't regret that this channel has become my new hyperfixation

Here’s something to consider about Robin: I didn’t give it a second thought until it came on one night and I randomly started thinking about my pets (and the ones who’ve passed away). That sent me into another stratosphere of grief I never thought I’d experience. I know you’ve got a little dog and I just thought maybe if you listened to Robin from the perspective of someone who is a caregiver to something small and innocent, you’ll grow to like it more!

I usually work double shifts on Sunday (in a restaurant to finance my studies) and when I'm finally done, I have food from the kitchen and a video from the swiftologist waiting for me. So yay me!

I was so happy when you said guilty as sin and then fresh out the slammer 😭😭 my tracklist has same order and both are at 2,3 and but daddy I love him as track 5 so good I feels it's an emotional song after seeing on tour and getting emotional it feels sad how people try to change her life and control it

Guilty as Sin and Freah out the Slammer remain my favs from first listen. My husband has a swiftie coworker and they asked my favorite song from the album and he said “the jail one” referring to Fresh Out The Slammer 😂

What? Why was Cassandra deleted? 😭😭 We had to analyze Cassandra in English class, and I decided to do a completely void of information take, like without Taylor's backstory, and take it as a completely fictional story. AND IT IS A LYRICAL MASTERPIECE. It is a story of a woman told that her ideas, her predictions, are outrageous. That she is mentally unstable. That she is a threat to society, because of her prophecies, of her foretelling the future. They take out their anger on her and any supporters (like Cassandra) because they are afraid of her being right. Cassandra is also a Greek princess (so slay ikr) who was cursed by Apollo, so that she could see the future, but no-one would believe her. I also see it as a sister to Mad Woman. Carrying the same themes of defying the order and being ostracized, and being called mad. In my mind, she predicted a natural disaster, and she was punished for proposing such things, such bloodshed. But in the end, she was right, the disaster causes bloodshed and violence, killing almost every citizen. And that's why the song ends with "It's so quiet." and emphasis is made on that particular phrase, because if everyone's dead, who's going to speak? I wish I could attach pictures of my highlighting, writing, and conclusions with this comment but I can't. :( My literature teacher was actually quite proud of my assessment, so I consider it a good theory. Maybe if this comment gets to 200 likes I'll type it out in the replies. :)) Edit: BTW, this is my opinion and it's okay if you don't share it. If you don't feel the same way, feel free to scroll by 🤭 To me this song seems interesting because it's the first time she's referencing Greek Mythology. As a huge Greek mythology nerd (started with pjo loll) this was important TO ME. However, the swiftologist has his own opinions and he has good points. This comment was written for those people who liked Cassandra and wanted to find someone sharing the opinion. :) Edit 2: MUAHAHAHA HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT CASSANDRA WAS ONE OF TAYLOR'S FAVOURITES FROM THE ENTIRE ALBUM, SO MUCH SO THAT SHE HAS RELEASED THE FIRST VOICE MEMO FOR IT? I feel so happy that I did not undermine the song's beauty. :D

I really like your take on rearranging the track list and your explanation of why you've put each song where it is. So glad to see you put together playlists of these as well! I'm looking forward to listening to it in this order. Also I'm fairly new to the channel but what I've seen, I love. Your personality is so fun and you present things in such an informative yet conversational way and I just find you really entertaining.

half the time i forget florida, i can fix him and the name songs on the anthology even exist oml 💀💀 florida slays when the first beat thump things on the chorus happens but it gets old QUICK and their voices do not go along at all in my opinion

I clicked faster than you could say saboteur

I have been waiting for this for so long

Yessss I’ve been waiting for this one! You’re truly so amazing at what you do and I enjoy every single video you make! Thank you for being very creative with every video!

For me The Prophecy is my #1 favorite song from this album. I think the ending is so raw and heartbreaking- that quite pleasing please kills me every time.

WE ARE BEING FED BY SWIFTILOGIST!!! Truly thank you so much you just make my weekend so much better!!! ❤❤❤❤

THE MOMENT WE ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THANK YOU DIVA 🩷

Thanks a million for the playlist! I so enjoy the balanced duality of your channel; the sometimes hard hitting but intelligent criticism as well as sharing your absolute fangirling moments. Always energetic, poetic and entertaining. Bravissimo!

The Black Dog literally makes me weep. It is beautiful, poetic, heart wrenching, and everything. Not an example whatsoever of Taylor needing a producer switch up.

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS OMGG

well yes! we’ve been waiting for this

This is your most accurate ranking so far. They all slap but this one gagged me because we have the EXACT same thought about this album and songs maybe with one or two exceptions.

i have to say I love how you are very honesty with your love and criticisms of taylor. I’ve been a swiftie from literally 2007 but I haven’t always been involved in fandom bc people can be a bit intense but I so respect and vibe with how you discuss her and how you view her work and her as a public figure

Thank you for giving Guilty as Sin? and Fresh Out The Slammer the recognition it deserves!! At first, they weren’t my favorite upon first listen but after a couple of re-listens they have been on my top 5 from the album.

Yes! We were all waiting for this one!

Zachary you're getting so big with the latest videos we're so proud of you 🥲

Yessssssss, I’ve been waiting for this I’m so ready 🤍🖤🤍