You don’t deserve this. Depression sucks. Intrusive thoughts suck. I’m proud of you for not listening to those thoughts. I spent my whole life feeling like you did. I wanted the things you want. After a ton of work I am not depressed which is a miracle cause I was depressed since before being a teenager. I still deal with some issues but I’ve learned a lot of coping mechanisms to help me deal with what still lingers. You seem to be a wise man. I am cheering you on.
I've been depressed & super anxious since 7 or 8 yrs old, then physical pain started soon after (fibromyalgia). Sorry that you're going through this. I hope soon you find happiness inside, in your daily routine, in helping others, by being more conscious of experiences, connecting with nature....and set yourself free from the past, all it does is hold you back, you are stronger today because of your past & most of all don't lose your passion for the things you love, this is what keeps us alive. You are strong & you will get through this 💪🏽❤️🩹
