This is Ren's explanation of the song - You'll find it in the description. "This was shot with no budget at the end of a frickin ' freezing October, felt like I was going to get hypothermia lying on cold slate for a few hours, serious case of mind over matter but so happy with how it turned out :) The song came about after a nervous breakdown following lots of visits to emergency room after some scary health problems. It's a song for anybody who has faced any kind of mental challenges, depression, anxiety, or health struggles while in a relationship and all the fears that come along for the ride with that. It is also a song for the courageous and wonderful people who support their other halves, family or friends during times of crisis :) In whatever context I hope my music can help take some of the weight from anyone suffering and help people feel less alone." (Ren)
This is an early Ren...when he was at the height of his terrible health problems but still without answers. He was being told everything he was enduring was because it was all in his head, but in reality he was suffering with Lyme's Disease and it was wreaking havoc on his body and mind. I actually find it hard to watch this because you can really feel his suffering. It isn't to do with being a drug addict. Yes, Ren dabbled with drugs when he was a young teen but he was never an addict as far as I know.
Music is all Ren He was mid twenties in the middle of the worst of the Lyme disease attacking his mind and body Very under weight due to undiagnosed food allergies causing inability to keep food down
Thanks for the reaction to this song. Well done. ♥👍🙂 The song is already seven years old. Beautiful, deep and heartbreaking. It's often overlooked and, in my opinion, totally underrated. The (no-budget) video is also absolutely stunning as well. It brilliantly shows his fragility. Did you notice how their silouettes form a closing curtain when she sings that line? "Crutch" dates back to a time when Ren was in extremely bad shape. He really didn't think he was going to live much longer. Bibi was his girlfriend at the time and started a GoFundMe to raise funds for his treatment/diagnosis. If I understood correctly, this was the basis for his Lyme disease diagnosis in Brussels.
Thank you for reacting to this! It's one of my favorite songs by Ren and somehow, got lost in his vast catalog of newer masterpieces. The cinematography is breathtaking and the explosion of Ren's vocals at the end is mind-blowing and gives me chills every time I listen to it. The song is an emotional masterpiece and the video is visually stunning! I can't understand why this isn't a number one hit - it's that good! ❤
Bibi was Ren's girlfriend at the time. Sadly she had to leave the relationship for her mental health. May I suggest "Penitence" as the sequel. It's another sad one, but up there in my top 5 😢 ❤
It was recorded in October 2015, at the height of his illness. he still hadn't been correctly diagnosed with Lyme Disease,. He had been suffering psychosis and believed he was about to lose his mind/life. Bibi helped him raise money for his first stem cell treatment but they later split (I think I read that she felt that she needed to sort out her own mental health ...)
hello dears!! baby ren!!!!!! ren in pain, plain and simple. "sick boi" get it??? imho, this has nothing to do with drugs. chronic pain can turn your skin inside out, just sayin'! thanks-i really enjoy you guys !!! just as an aside, i don't use people as a crutch any more and i bet ren doesn't either. thanks again, guys!!! kathleen
Not drugs … pain and not knowing what’s wrong with you and doctors not knowing either is what the song is about. Bibi helped him get his first correct treatment
That was a great reaction to a very layered song. Was she real, was she a delusion of the drugs or of him losing his mind. She was real as he was struggling, but at the end he was on his feet and she was gone... there are so many possibilities. Ren said it was his fear about loss... about his illness making him unlovable. Not to question the artist but I think he put more of himself and his fears into this than even he may have realized because it hits on so many levels.
From my POV - a crutch for a needy partner - I am exhausted. She did the job of a crutch, which is designed to be (usually) a temporary solution to get you up and walking while you heal. At the end, he was standing on his own two feet, so she fulfilled her promise. It's really sad, and you can love someone with all your heart, but living for two people is not sustainable without draining your life's energy. And I am not advocating to throw away people who need crutches - God knows, I've needed people to lean on, I think we all have. You need multiple people to fulfill that person's needs, not just one.
This is one of my favorite songs/video of Ren's. It's so beautiful and heartbreaking. Dear God is my other favorite. These songs were done years ago before diagnosed with Lyme disease.
Thanks again 2-1/2! Your reactions are very very good. The fact that you allow your emotions to be a part of your reaction is compelling and speaks to your positive character. I also love the 13 seconds of dead air space at the end of the song from Alex's Oh Shit moment.
He was 25 i think. The worse time of his illness. He did fall into psychosis around this time. And Bibi needed to leave for her own mental health. The music was all Ren and done when he was isolated and mostly bedridden. He is very thin here.
My take is that it is both she is a real person who was providing him help during a hard time but also a construct of his mind, of a person with inexplicable amounts of patience and personal sacrifice that he could lean on until he was able to stand on his own. He needed the illusion to prop himself up, but the reality also still helped him, even if it wasn't what he had constructed within his own psyche.
“I didn’t expect that” is so often used with ren reactions and it makes me giggle every time. This song was the one that made me lose it. I cry or get close every time!😢
This is so beautifully raw and his soul is so beautiful too it's heart wrenching 💔 what he's been through but his strength to get through it and still suffering.. I have respectful admiration for ❤️🙏💪🤘
Really like the way you are open with your feelings to how Rens songs hit you. Other commentators on here have explained the background to this song very well & yes music all Ren. This gives me a Jack White/white Stripes feel when it becomes rocky. It is an amazing song. 🎶🧡🔥👩🦰
Others have commented, but im going to anyway for the algorithm. The song actually isn't drug related, it's about his mental and physical health and his fear of losing the people closest to him because of it. Bibi (said like the gun 😂) was his girlfriend at the time. They did end up breaking up, which makes the end incredibly sad, but I don't think it was necessarily because of the topic of the song. Great reaction!
Your guys' enthusiasm is enticing! You really should react to Back to '74 his latest release. It's magnificent and you guys would go through the roof. So please. =
Interesting to hear you guys take on this now kind of backwards from what I am so many others experienced. This was one of the videos when he was so young. Hi Ren was the one that got the worlds attention and Crutch was pulled up from early on. All of the first songs that we were binging on had to do with his undiagnosed Lyme disease and the mental issues he went through for so many years between the drugs that he was being given an error and simply if she's having from the Lyme disease etc. am I understanding in this video is not like a drug withdrawal thing it's a him feeling like he was going crazy. He was in a lot of pain he was having so many reactions to so many things and would spend most of his life confined to bed. Now here we are with him in Canada getting a special treatment for his deteriorated mind and body from the lyme disease. He is recovering and doing so well.... First time checked in for a while that I saw that he put out a song back on 74 / message in a bottle retake. I've been listening to a lot of people's reactions on that and in the process saw yours thinking it would be cool to see crutch again at this point. Powerful as ever... Maybe more so knowing all. Is the bottom line for my understanding it was to do with his mental issues that he thought he was losing his mind and felt like he was dying real time. My understanding is BiBi was actually his girlfriend at the time. My opinion in the end is that she thought she would stay with him she felt she would do everything and the burden was so heavy that she couldn't handle it and eventually went away. It is not an authoritative evaluation. I understand BiBi was the first person to start a GoFundMe type thing and raise money for him to get treatment .. some kind of Gene replacement I think and I believe that's when they found out it was Lyme disease.
I saw this song right after Hi Ren - I thought it showed either the height of his lyme disease or his mental issues at the time. I saw his short when he couldn't hold down any food and he thought he was losing the battle. he pretty much looked like this in that short/
While it could also go for relapsing I have a feeling that was written for chronic pain because that's exactly what we go through. Literally on the ground crying in a fetal position. And nobody ever wants to stay you end up alone
Another one as always guys keep up the phenomenal work 🫶🏽Bibi is his ex she helped with organizing fundraising to finally get him the proper diagnosis and treatment so he was able to return to performing he said himself he ruined that relationship by using her as a crutch they loved each other yes but she was exhausted and he needed time to reflect so they broke up and she did this when they broke up because there still friends she stayed until he got stable as much as he could his with someone else now she’s cool too also for anyone who didn’t know he has a sister anyway this song gets me because I was a couple of ppl crutch’s had to let them go I love them but from a distance 🎶🔥❤️🩹🥹
