To put a late example, I can't stop thinking about the possibility of having felt asleep for an interview which was a requisite to be studying for a master I'm in right now. The thing is...I, in fact, laid back in my bed and felt asleep for some minutes, so there is some element of truth to my "catastrophic scenario". But now I'm studying for said master and everything's ok...except for the fact that I think about that "almost-event" everytime I have to study for my courses. And I think it would've been the end of the world if I were refused from it. So there is some "rationaity" behind this mental illness. That's why it's so difficult for me to change my thoughts and my behavior. But I also understand the practical irrationality of being thinking about an "almost-event" everytime, when, in fact, nothing happened and it wouldn't have been the end of the world. But damn it would have been a big mistake.
I always feel like I "betrayed" my bf, by looking at other people, by finding other people attractive, by having sexual fantasies about other men. While I realized at some point that this may be ocd, since I had OCD for a long time, my brain remembered a specific fantasy I had and likes and now feel completely guilty for having it. I don't know how I can ever do #8. I don't think that I can live with the fact that I will never know if what I did was wrong or right... But I'll try, even if my OCD is screaming at me that I am just making it up to forget something genuinely horrible... If you have any word of advice, please tell me!!!
My real event OCD comes with a lot of shame, almost like my brain is looking for reasons to make me feel bad. It also overlaps with other themes. Sometimes it feels so real that it's difficult to believe it's OCD..
You're so right. It does bring a lot of shame. That's a huge part of treatment. We often have to separate feelings and thoughts and focus on the present moment.
@@ocdandanxiety definitely! It's just so difficult when I'm trying to do something nice for myself, or just enjoy my day and my brain goes "wait what are you doing, you're supposed to feel ashamed, you're not allowed to do stuff you like!" 🥴
@@mariatobin7519 same here, but we can get better! Community is everything. Do you have people you can talk to who share your experience, like a support group? Going to groups helps me a lot!
It is actually 😪😪. Try to schedule research and education for a time instead of when you feel anxiety to avoid it becoming compulsive ❤️. I allow myself to watch if it’s in my recommended but I will NOT ruminate over OCD symptoms for fun
eh, it depends what mindset your coming in with. if your searching for these videos because your just generally curious, then it isn't. but, if you come in with a mindset of "how can I fix this?", or "how can I feel better?", that is a compulsion
@@jhew4337 but if it is a compulsion and if you’re doing this to feel better… trying to apply the tips from this video so you can improve your situation about your OCD theme will still help?
As somebody who suffered for years I found my salvation in a simple response of “I don’t know” I was bombarded by multiple memories and thousands upon thousands of relentless questions until they just went away. I offered nothing more than “I don’t know” No matter how impossible it felt to move on, no matter how terrifying it was, no matter the guilt, no matter the shame, no matter how desperate it felt. The thoughts went away. I honestly hope my experience can help someone to move on with their life. But ultimately “I don’t know” 😄
Hello! Now that you say you’re healed, do you still have some of those thoughts sometimes, do you still feel guilt about those events from time to time or it does go away completely and you can actually live?
@@justagirl9074 I have episodes now and again but always find my way back. The only way I can describe it is that you won’t realise your better, it will just happen
@@justagirl9074 I’m not saying I do it perfect because I assume we all have a different way of dealing with it. But as soon as the thought or question pops in my head. I say I don’t know. Then I refuse to ask more questions on the subject. It took me a long time to work out that was one of my compulsions. I thought it was the obsession asking the questions but it was really me looking for reassurance. It’s hard to begin with then it gets easier and you don’t have to do it all anymore. You can do this!
@@craigharrington7745 Thank you for you answer! I was kind of hoping you would tell me it has gone away for good because I was periods of time when I am better almost normal, but then it hits me out of the blue and I feel like i have do to it all over again, and simply thinking “I am finally ok” and realising your doubts were not true and then you ocd comes back and tells you you weren’t right it’s so disturbing. I feel like this is the worst thing that happened to me and unfortunately I don’t see the way out of it. Like a permanent solution. Thank you!
@@justagirl9074 everytime it gets easier to get back to normal. I had 8 months of 2020 with no ocd. Their is no ultimate solution, it’s part of who we are, it’s hard to remember that life was never always perfect even before you realised you had ocd. The more you worry about it coming back the more you feed the likelihood it’s going to come back. Almost like an obsession within itself!
the really frustrating thing about confession compulsions is that no matter how many people tell me that what happened isn't a big deal, the ocd tells me they're biased or I'm not telling them enough or they must just be wrong there's no way to satisfy it, but it still feels like it's eating me alive
Reviewing the Tips: 1. Use your obsessions to understand yourself 2. Make a list of what gets neglected in your life because of compulsions 3. "If I let these thoughts and emotions determine what I do in the next few minutes or an hour, will it get me closer to the person I want to be or will it move me even futher away" 4. Put a visible reminder somewhere that it's OCD is the issue. Not the past event 5. Practice self-compassion 6. Do not try to get rid of your thoughts and emotions 7. Ban rumination 8. Be willing to live with the fact that your scary thoughts may be right 9. Seek treatment 10. Make sure that your therapist specializes in OCD and practice ERP
I have done things in my past that are bad. My OCD uses this to reassure I'm a bad person. The guilt of the past and the fear of intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming at times where I cant breathe or be comfortable. I cant help ruminating as I need to KNOW I'm not a bad person. This video helps and the comments do as well. Does anyone else feel this way, extreme guilt and fear of uncertainty? Thanks for the videos, you're calm demeanor and understanding give me hope
We all done bad things some worse than others. Myself included. Regrets and guilt all natural emotion. And with ocd it’s worse than the average person but in this horrible feeling we feel we must not lose who we TRULY are now. Even if we were per se a bad person earlier in our lives we aren’t no longer and now we want to be good and give kindness and love to others we need to remember this is us and know we are good people no matter what our brain wants us to believe. It’s time to take back our lives! Baby steps if need be but do so in the right direction
My brain recycles different experiences on a weekly basis. It tells me that I’m horrible and that I’m going to end up being a felon or serial killer because I’ve done some stupid things as a teenager. I have a week without any symptoms then it crashes over me like large wave and then I go back to 24/7 rumination about the experiences. This is getting rough
Remember you are not an exception. You are trying your best like most other humans on this earth. It's not like you're uniquely evil. Other people don't talk about these things because they can be shameful and they don't have an obligation to bring it up or dwell on it. Please seek ERP therapy and get your life back on track. That is what I am doing. I know it feels so threatening, but you can do it.
As much as I know I have OCD, the things I have done in the past aren't small. I believe I deserve to be punished for them, even if it's just beating myself up mentally about it. I don't want to be oblivious to what I've done and blame it on OCD.
You are not Alone. The best thing is to reach out to Jesus Christ he is our sheperd And we Are his sheep. If you ask for forgiveness and repent through prayers, he will forget and forgive. And if he had forgotten about it you should too. 🙂❤️ Good luck
I also feel same i did something horrible in past and i feel like i get away with it and im scared it will come back to haunt me so my mind keep saying"you dont deserve this you dont deserve to be happy"but i find this channel so i can say we do have ocd thats why its called real life event ocd its not normal to something stuck on your mind even tho ITS HORRIBLE it not gonna help us it not gonna help you its not gonna help me its not gonna help anyone who affected by our actions so please i know you think you dont deserve anything but being stuck on old action wont help either but do you know what can help?learning from it if you regret your action then you doing great already i cannot speak if you are a good or bad person but i can say you are a person you are a human being you being here talking about this means you are trying i say make amend if you can but if you couldnt thats also fine
I feel the same way, but recently started learning about unconditional acceptance. More or less is about accepting yourself regardless of what has happened. Is not about “letting ourselves off the hook” we can still feel regret over our actions without tormenting ourselves. Simply learn from your mistakes learn to live in uncertainty, don’t seek validation or approval. & most important don’t rate yourself
This has been a really tough thing for me for the past three weeks. I am currently obsessing over some pretty bad stuff i did as 12 year old without noticing it by then. It also overlapses with my moral scrupulosity OCD and my POCD, especially this one. It makes me feel like I'm worthless and a bad person and like i don't deserve a good and fulfilling future. It stands in the way of healing myself and connecting with people and simply living in the present. Thoughts like "I am a horrible monster and everyone around me is normal and can enjoy a deserved happy life and I don't" are daily basis. I also suffer from extreme disconnection from reality, my friends, my family and mostly myself. I look in the mirror and don't know who i am anymore and i feel no empathy for my reflection. It causes s*icidual thoughts even tho i actually love life and don't want to d*e. What i did doesn't align with my values at all and the most terrible thing is that i am incapable of forgiving myself or showing myself compassion. I just want to be normal and i want to do school and love myself but i feel so undeserving of love
if I imagine someone I love, or a child maybe, having the same thoughts & feelings I'm having, it helps me see those thoughts & feelings in a different way. I would have compassion & understanding for the loved one, and i wouldn't want them to think & feel that way. Then I try to give myself the same understanding & compassion. You are not alone in what you're going through, and I'll pray for you today.
I really suffer with this one. I suddenly remember things I did or thought or felt months or years ago and feel just crushed by it until I'm disconnected from reality and I just can't believe I could have not only done the thing but not realized how bad it was until now.
Your videos are helping me a lot. In my early 20s, while struggling with alcohol, I did a lot of stupid things. Around seven whole years later, even longer for some of these things, I am now two years sober but these memories are popping into my head consistently and causing loads of shame. It drives me to believe I will experience consequences in the future and that I should not pursue a music career that could possibly make me famous or something. I am now having other strange anxiety related attacks and panic attacks centered on some of these memories, occasionally leading to borderline blackouts though. I think I need to start making the push for uncertainty.
Yes bro push for uncertainty. I am in this boat with you. Let's try and beat the torment together. I am on my way to work now. But it's more like I'm on my way to sit in a different chair while I battle my regrets for 8 hours before going home and doing it again. Is this ok for anyone? My objective self says "hell no." But my mind says "sit down and shut the fuck up while I drag all this old shit up again"
Art helps the world. Still do it! I can relate to all of this. I have a sneaky suspicion that everyone has made mistakes! So if everyone stopped pushing for their passion, inventing things, creating (because of their guilt and fear of cancellation) The world would just stop! Unconditional self acceptance is what I’m trying to do
I envision "the mists of time." We want to erase it. But we can't change the past. So instead, we can leave it in the past. Allow your brain to forget it even happened. Envision the mists of time, and allow them to have that moment, instead of you. It's not who you are. It was just a stumble. Stand up now, in the present moment.
Every time I think about anything, my brain connects it back. I can't sleep, I can't even sit blanky without thinking about it. Thanks for this. It's helping a bit.
This made me realize I value kids and being nice to others. I have POCD and when I get scared of the thoughts, I want to protect them from the threat, I'm the type of guy if he sees a child in danger of a pedo, I want to save the child, protect it. I fear being like a pedo due to my sexual abuse when I was 13 by a classmate, he was older than I and had took advantage of me by calling it a game. - and being nice to others, I can't stand to hurt someone's feelings, when I hurt someone, I start OCDing about it. This video helped a lot!!
I've had these kinds of obsessions too. In the UK when I was a teen up the tabloid press was full of stories about child abuse. One paper was even going as far to promote vigilantism against perpetrators, threatening to publish their addresses etc. So there was a real moral panic about paedophilia at the time. So I shouldn't be surprised in the slightest that my OCD jumped on this subject matter. This video teaches me that I value children's safety and wish to protect them rather than to harm them.
Yeah. Until this month (this week really) I thought it was not only normal but *necessary* to be haunted by things that you’ve done and disapprove of. Even things from years ago that were done as kids and mostly inconsequential, I’ve always seen it as an “educational opportunity“ to be a better person and understand the consequences that your actions have on those around you. I’ve only ever wanted to be the best me I can be, and in the process I really hurt myself. I only ever wanted to subsume the burden I felt I had unintentionally put on other people and instead took on the responsibility of a guilt that is *not real* Just as anybody is allowed to make mistakes and move on, your past self was allowed to make mistakes and move on. Your current self is allowed to make mistakes and move on, as is your future self.
One thing I noticed is that Real Event Ocd makes me feel extremely awful and terrible about these events but when I actually look at the events, it aint really something that serious. Its like my ocd has put an extreme tide of anxiety and guilt that's not really compatible with the real events themselves
And when it's mixed up with false memory and saying that I had bad intentions which I literally like never thought about It's so painful and the anxiety is so extreme that I cant do anything about it even though deep down I know it's not real I can't do anything but cry
I've been there for 30 days A real event turned into a false memory (even though I've thought of this memory multiple times) now ot changed to the absolute worst case scenario. My heart is with you while we figure this out.
@@BaileyNicole89 it went on like this for 7 or more days but now it's bearable I have decided I am not going to feel guilty at all but something I didn't do or thought of It's going to pass anyway
The same thing happened to me! Idk what caused it, but it was a year after it happened that my mind put it in my head again and gave me the false memory of “ok but what was your intention? Did you convey your intentions in a way that got it across?” And then that thought is what caused me to get stuck in a loop ruminating.
I have POCD since a couple months ago I remembered a deed that i've done almost 7 years ago... No, don't worry, i did not harm anyone, I don't have any desire to kids, but my mind tries to prove the controversary with every of it's power. It's just feels so real i cannot make a difference between reality and those feelings that I felt that time. I was a stupid youngster at the time. Still, now, when I want a family, I just stasrted to imagine how I want to raise my children and oops, those memories just hit me suddenly from nowhere and tries to prove me I have sick urges... This is so terrible szometimes I just cannot tell you. I cried since many times, thinking I'm a horrible person, who can never have a family. Even if I know it's OCD, I cannot make a peace with my mind. However, you videos helps a lot, thank you.
I’m glad you made this video, because I genuinely didn’t know this was a thing and incorrectly assumed it was just me experiencing flashbacks from my PTSD. The lens of OCD makes a LOT more sense when applied to my experiences.
While watching this my mind kept screaming: “why are you watching this? You don’t have ocd. What you did was bad and now it’s your time to pay, stop looking for a way around it.” It’s hard not to listen when the voice is so loud…
It makes me so scared, and makes me feel so alone. I cried twice in your video. For almost 33 years now i have had a horrible always-evolving form of OCD.
I've always felt like my brain is searching for a shitty thing I did like a phone trying to connect to a wifi signal. Then I confess, feel better for maybe 30 minutes and then my brain connects to a new past event.
I think that the worst part about having real event ocd is the need to confess all the time.Personally i wanted all the time to confess my thoughts because i felt i was gonna explode or sth.Then i regretted the fact that i was oversharing to persons..i was afraid that my darkest thoughts were gonna be known to everyone(more anxiety),but i was responsible to this because I WAS OVERSHARING TO EVERYONE. my ocd stopped about 10 months after by its own,when it was too late.I cant believe i left those meaningfull thoughts destroy my life and my mind.I swear to god they were really silly thoughts.But i couldnt control my guilt and shame.I do better now,but i cant forgive myself i left those thoughts to have a big impact to my life...
I'm so so glad I found this video. All my life I've struggled with different types of OCD but Real Event OCD is by far the worst. Until I researched this and found out it was a real thing, I genuinely thought I was going crazy. Like there was something inherently wrong with my brain which, I guess, there is. But hearing your solutions and seeing that other people experience the same thing has already helped me so much. Thank you for making these videos. I finally feel validated, instead of bottling up my anxieties or simply being told 'just don't worry!' You're a godsend, and I thank you.
Yes, real event OCD is by far the worst out there. I didn’t know either, that this was what I was experiencing. It can be so debilitating to live with.
I’ve been having real event ocd from impulses that I’ve done this year and it’s the worst feeling I’ve ever had. My main ocd theme is self harm thoughts, but now it’s mainly focused on real events in which I feel like I’m going to get in trouble from. I have to reassure myself that nothing bad happened from my ocd impulses and that I’m not in trouble, but my brain won’t let me move on.
Thank you for this. I've always had ocd, but my third trimester of pregnancy (my 1st pregnancy) has dramatically amplified my ocd and I feel guilty for every thought/feeling I've ever had. And I have the compulsion to constantly confess. I've learned to stop that though, because I'm driving my poor husband insane. I feel more "normal" now after seeing your video. Thank you for shedding some light on this condition for me
i just wanna say thank u for improving my life, i didn’t seek professional help yet bec i’m afraid to tell my parents, but watching ur videos makes me feel relieved and assures me that i’m not alone, i’m not a bad person, and that most of the stuff i’m going through is mostly mental. thank u so much
Im 35 years old and am finally learning that i have this. It never felt like a big part of my life and i always thought it was just anxiety that came and went. This video helped me tremendously to learn what im actually dealing with and what kind of treatment to look for. Thank you.
As bad as it sounds I keep saying I wish I had another theme, another form of mental health. I've done multiple bad things especially in my teens. I keep relating childhood trauma as the answer, or what if I really am just evil, what if this what if that etc. Researching, reassurance. I wouldn't dream of doing what I've done now. I've spent the past couple years doing compulsions trying to hide the thoughts, occasionally crumbling and having periods of time in bed, no energy, body in agony for weeks on end. No matter what I do it relates to the past and the situations that have happened. I keep thinking that if I beat OCD it'll go away... But if I lose the guilt then I'm agreeing. I try to say things like "it happened who cares" "I don't care" I've only just started this approach, it'll take time for it to have an effect... Spending the past 10 years thinking the opposite is a hard habit to break.
Hi, I have watched so many of your youtube videos. I have to say after I watched them, I reduced my sking picking tremendously. But after that week, my reason for stopping the skin picking was not for me, it was for other people mostly, so that’s why I started doing it again and I was attacking my sking more than before. But the after I watched this video and started to take care of me first, I stopped the sking picking for me, first time in my life, the reason for stopping was actually me this time...and it’s working. I am now expozing myself to my sking and not touching it, to show my OCD, I am in charge, I can actually be in control of my behavior. I am so happy for me. Thank you!
When I first started puberty, like it’s peak, I did some regretful sexual things as a teen that are HAUNTING me, it’s as if I gave into some urges, then immediately regretted it. I never did any of those things again as I know they go against my character and morals. I’m obsessing and obsessing about the past.
@@chickenlittle4014 No! Really? It’s inappropriate to ask a stranger about past “details” about their personal, intimate issues! Especially in a public forum! Get a clue!
We all do things that we regret from the past. I know I have! I think back, “I can’t believe I was ever in that mindset to do those things!” “I was so stupid, then!” But, just knowing you’re remorseful and have the ability now, to realize those past things were wrong, means you have matured in many ways. 💕
Hi, I suffer from this too. How do I deal with triggers, meaning whenever I do something that makes me feel happy or satisfied; a voice inside me tells me that "Wait you dont deserve this! Start feeling bad right now!" Can I ever stop those thoughts from being triggered? Also thank you for making this video!
My theme rn is especially awful... I remembered something I did or thought/ imagined a while ago. The thing is I can’t put it in the past because it might mean some about me right now. This is awful. There is so much more to it also... man puberty was rough.
Hi! I know exactly how you feel. My main real event OCD theme is especially awful too, and it makes me feel like such a terrible person, even gives me intrusive thoughts and makes me feel/believe that I’m still that bad person. Mine happened around puberty too, and I agree puberty was so rough for me too! You’re not alone :)
@@chloeeve2370 puberty seems to bring a battle for every person emerging out of it. This seems to be ours. All the best to all of us 💕 we can continue and get better and deserve to be happy like everyone we know around us wants to see from us.
I particualrly appreciate your point on traditional cbt therapy. Ive not found it to be the most helpful and coudln’t figure out why. Tying into real event ocd, I DID have an extremely bad therapist who didn’t understand me when I said that I’m aware and have tried using regular CBT for years with little success. This really helps put that in perspective , and simply using a different approach is much more likely to help, overall. Thank you for all the work you do!!
I’m so grateful for your videos…I’ve never met you but you have helped me immensely just understand how my brain works and realize all the things that seem so real, so big in my head are actually normal for people with OCD minds. I keep making myself wrong when certain methods don’t work or I buy into certain thoughts, like people get frustrated I don’t let them go based on logic, but it’s just the way my brain works! Thank you so much for these videos! EDIT: I have a few things that were real event OCD but until this video I just thought they were actually unsolved things I needed to deal with-but really loud in my head and taking me out of the moment. This is the first time I’ve heard of Real Event OCD and it really helps me realize what was going on! Again, thank you!
Is it normal in ocd to feel that you don’t know what’s true and what’s not true about you or a situation or anything really mostly unsure about yourself? I get this all the time
Yes my OCD can fill in the blanks in memories I am re-running compulsively as and I don't know if I'm remembering more or having false memories so I have to re-run even more.
Types of OCD's I have: • SELF HARM OCD - fear of me being a masochist which causes me to feel turned on when in pain, also known as groinal response. • LESBIAN OCD - I am scared of being a lesbian, sometimes my brain tells me that I am in love with my same sex friend. I also worry that I am a transgender and that I am a Male in denial of not being transgender. • RELATIONSHIP OCD - my brain tells me that I am not in love with my special person because I suddenly turned into a lesbian somehow. OR my brain tells me that I am not in love with my special person because I feel calm around my favorite person.
I really appreciate these videos man. But what if you did something really bad, that you fit the definition of the person that does those things, but you feel and know that you're not like them? The uncertainty is filling me with a lot of stress and suffering.
In my own situation you kinda have to stop even caring and just accept the thoughts, the fact that you did something bad in your eyes and now feel bad just reinforce that you're not that person. We have to understand that the past really doesn't have to have power but our brains will continuously throw stuff at us so just gotta be like "oh yeah I know that's ocd, maybe I am a terrible person, oh well"
i realised bad people don't worry about the things they do, they just get up and go with it with no real conscious thought. this reassured me, especially to the extent of my guilt and worry - i don't believe any bad person would make themselves suffer this way
My OCD is all about guilt of my past. Once I cheated my friend(at very minor level) and she doesn't know about it.I don't want to make her angry and don't wanna talk to her but My stupid OCD really pins me down everyday about guilt and forced me to do apologize to her and Hurt yourself by losing your favorite things to make her happy(I know it's really non sense but my OCD force me to think like that)
But what I can do if I know that I did bad mistake in the past or even hurt people who care about me I feel so guilty and bad I can't just forgive myself and I feel like I don't deserve anything good just like you said in the video... Anyway I really appreciate you and this channel, I don't know if it's a compulsion but when it's getting too hard to handle on my own like right now, watching your video makes me feel a little bit better and calm maybe a compulsion I know but just an hour ago I was in a panic attack mood feeling like I can't breathe feeling on the edge totally out of control like I was going crazy and scary things I feel suic**al.. And then I take my phone just to try to focus on something else, found this video because I'm subscribed to this channel and start watching, not only what you saying but also how you are saying, like the way you talk.. Makes me feel better like I'm not alone in this, so thank you.. And I'm sorry if this was a long comment and maybe it's not correct because I'm Italian so my English is not good. Anyway I wish you and everyone who is reading this a good night and remember you are not alone, stay strong ❤️
Also it's so hard because in this case ocd focus on something you really did it's not just a thought it's true, you did those things.. So how can I forgive me for what I did, how I can't feel horrible about myself for this? I can't move on, and when I feel better then I start to feel guilty about feeling better cause I'm like hey you can't feel good about yourself or are you OK with what you did? You don't care? So you must be even worse if you don't pay attention to what you did. Anyway I did it so there is nothing I can do to fix this and it makes me feel really bad. Again sorry for the long message.
@@siljabergsen5776 thank you ❤️ sometimes I talk to my husband or my mom but I don't really share everything 'cause I'm ashamed of being and feeling this way.. Again thank you for your comment ❤️
Oh my am I grateful for your video. I’ve been struggling a lot for the past two weeks specifically with what I think is real event OCD, everything you’ve said is me to a T, it gives me hope to know I’m not the only one and thank you so much for the advice.
Thanks Nathan! Knowing that I might be struggling with this will allow me to look at these methods to deal with my issues instead of just continuing to allow myself to overthink the event. I guess that's a step in the right direction!
Your videos are superb, Nathan. Very thoughtful and considerate and full of insights that are rarely available elsewhere delivered in a calm, straightforward way. Thanks so much for all you do.
Thank you so much for this video I've been struggling with this and I didn't know that this is called real event ocd and i was thinking I've gone mad and i didn't know what to do and because this was getting worst i was having intrusive thoughts as well and it's really difficult to deal with it but your video makes it easy and get to know that I'm not the only one who is suffering from this
Hi, I just want to say thank you for making this video for helping people with real event OCD. This helps me heaps. Really appreciate what you have explained.
This has always been my biggest struggle, i just seemed to get over my last bout but ocd is throwing a new thought and morphing a situation that I know what actually happened. Any tips to kinda move past that? I assume it would be the same as the last just kinda sucks to have my brain do this lol
Sometimes it might come off as if I don't question myself, I'm one of those people who don't question themselves and move on without accountability. But trust me true accountability doesn't hinder one's growth.
I’ve been struggling with this lately, completely forgot to wear a mask while i was walking behind my house, if think it wasn’t even mandatory because it isn’t a crowded place but i felt so bad when i crossed people who weren’t wearing masks either, now i can’t do anything but thinking about it and appliying a crazy amount of pressure on my eye to punish myself, i keep picturing myself telling people that i forgot my mask and them telling me how big of a mistake it was
I'm sorry you've had this to go through. I've had mask-related and other COVID-related thoughts, too. And the fear of spreading the virus...I feel like the pandemic hasn't been the easiest for some of us with OCD.
I completely agree with you since the pandemic started i have had so many OCD related to that but this one is very difficult for me, we want to have control over something that is completely out of hands since it started, i guess we have to remember that we are humans and be a little bit more kind with ourself, i’ve seen people not wearing masks willingly in public places and i’m pretty sure they are not punishing themself as we do lol, we should have more compassion for ourself
How do you treat real-event OCD when you have so many different types of real events and false memories that pop up? I am starting the process for ERP and would love any advice! Thank you. 😊
I was diagnosed with ocd (body dysmorphia) when I was 19. However, I had a fairly clean slate as far as my life was concerned. It took me medication and 7 years of hard work to accept myself fully. Then, I messed up by getting into a wrong relationship and I felt terrible and confessed to my mother. Even though I had met the person only 5-6 times in total. The guilt was so bad. I felt I deserved punishment. Well. I did get my punishment (or atleast I thought so). I developed a medical problem. So it gave me temporary relief that maybe I had paid for my irresponsibility . Then I had an accident and was convinced that I was being further hurt because I was a bad person. All this while, the other person was absolutely fine. But my guilt was really bad. After the accident, I got terrible panic attacks and the pandemic came into the picture. Also, it's important to mention that whenever I liked someone and wanted to get married, the feelings were either not reciprocated, or the person would first pursue me and eventually cheat on me. Today I'm 31, and I feel so terrible. Like I wasted my time on useless people who did not even care. I was so confident and outgoing. But after the accident I retreated into a shell. Despite so much happening, along with my terrible panic attacks, I still feel guilty of events that have happened between 2-8 years back because I did not have wisdom and believed people easily. I feel like I have been a bad person. I wouldn't tell my mother much about my friends earlier because I felt I am an adult and throughout childhood I had been hit by her, so I feared her intensely and that aspect crawled into adulthood even when she earnestly tried to become my friend . In a way of rebellion I just mostly kept things to myself. My mother believes in me today too, and tells me that things will be better. She is without doubt my biggest support. But I've had such a hard journey that I'm usually always curled up in bed. Hoping I've not hurt anyone, hoping that my guilt would go. Trying to stop the self blame. Wondering why I did not listen to my mother earlier. Images from the past flashing in my head. Mostly of people behaving badly with me and then leaving me to cry. I don't know if I deserve punishment for this. But im definitely going through it. I have taken up nichiren Buddhism and made some genuine new friends who are there to support. But my question to my fellow viewers is.. Does this sound like real event ocd? Or just something I am experiencing because of my bad life choices? Its important to note though, that I am a person who takes care of not stepping even on an ant and have taken care of multiple animals through the last ten years, even in my periods of anxiety. So is my guilt and self blame warranted? I never seem to Remember the numerous good acts that I have done. Including buying food for street kids, helping my house help with materials for her children, and trying to be the best that I can in general. I have never stolen money or anything from anyone too. I never smoked, never took drugs, and barely drank. Giving so many details so that I can understand if so much anxiety is warranted in my life. Thank you. Hoping for a good assessment that I can give to my doctor.
Thank you for sharing xx It’s so hard how OCD convinces us that we deserve the guilt, shame, and pain that we feel. Believing that we deserve consequences is another part of OCD. Another painful symptom. I can’t wait to recover from this!! Sending my love to you through this screen ✨🤍 Better days are coming
then still it doesn't serve you in anyway to punish yourself for it by replaying the event and dwelling onto it. do not let your mind convince you that you deserve this. no matter how big it was you can not change the past so do not let your mind convince you that it is moral to do this to you. if you stay present you will be able to do what you need to do naturally
Sometimes, when I get across someone or something and the mind sort of gets triggered, there is like a war that goes on in the mind. I can't decide what to feel, Am I scared, attracted or whatever? And when the trigger goes away, I'm like why did all this happen. Why was I scared? There is no point of being scared. But I realize that the mind just fears something and it's all an illusion created by the mind due to some past experience it has gone through. And nothing outside triggers it, but the mind itself.
As someone with OCD, and as someone who’s done a lot of sketchy things… my mind only tends to to ruminate about the false memories lol when the consequences of my actions catch up to me, it’s more of a “that’s life, lol”. But when it comes to false memories, my brain automatically goes into problem-solving mode. It’s so weird to me lol.
Does anyone else’s bad memories sort of build? like because i’m thinking about it so much more comes it the surface? i’m not sure what to do anymore it’s just constant
Anyone here offering some tips or is everyone just compulsively seeking reassurance in internet? I actually hoped someone will come by who has made some progress in his o her life
I get told that it never happened or I remember it wrong, oh well it's to late now. So I just stopped telling them anything now I just sit and silently cry having so many thoughts in my head screaming at the same time
I struggle with real event false memory that plays on past intrusive thoughts and makes me question whether I did something or not. It’s especially hard when it’s something you’ve ruminated on before because the lines become even more blurry between real and false. This is something that happened 12 years ago and I’ve been stuck for 2 months on it. It’s awful.
