Reclaiming Female Sexual Desire | Pamela Joy | TEDxPaloAlto 

She is incredibly brave standing up in front of a roomful of strangers and being filmed for millions to see, to talk about her most personal challenge.

Don’t you just love when the taboo topics become the talked about topics.. ! I sure do! Their is power and healing in being vulnerable.

Chills when she talked about childhood memories. Everything we think we are and all of our drives and desires are rooted in the concepts we learned during childhood.

I appreciate that when she was confronted with that conflict in their relationship, she opened herself up to finding a solution.

I absolutely love the way she approached the whole concept - very clear, systematic - and, nevertheless, emotionally.

So in short, women need to talk to each other about their problems, openly and honestly without judgement and they'd feel much happier.

Positive communication is so crucial.

One of the most genuine talks and on an immensely important issue. The content was ofcourse good. But I also loved the mirth and positivity you radiate while speaking. Thanks for doing this favour on humanity Pam

Thank you. We are starting a women's group because of your talk. It really inspired me and it is so accessible, so real. Thank you for reminding us of the power of friendship and womanhood.

My girls and I do that and we didn’t think many people did but she’s so right. It helps with confidence even if it’s the confidence to say no to something or find out what you really like. It’s the cheapest therapy out there!

"We talked about fantasy, what we fantasize about and if we don't... what's holding us back?" some of my girl friends really need to hear this smh😔

Outstanding presentation! Every woman and partner who cares about their mate needs to hear this. Again great job!

So great to hear that not only are the women empowered and find healing, but they are breaking the generational bonds so that their children don't have to experience the same.

I love listening to intelligent women talk

How honest, very articulate, very authoritative.

Pam you adressed this issue in a total different way, very easy to understand and i will follow that. thank you

Thank you! This has got to be one of THE MOST IMPORTANT youtoube videos. BRAVO 👏👏👏👏👏👏

This could prevent a lot of people from having affairs and winding up divorced.

Thank you so much for being brave enough to talk about this. Even publicly. I needed this.

Awesome talk. Answers so many questions and gives great clarity for both men and women:) Thank you Pam:) for starting the conversation:)

This allowed me to understand more about why my wife is the way she is.

What a simple, but thoughtful and insightful lecture. She is a fascinating teacher.

I am proud of you for being able to get up and talk about this to each of us, thank you for sharing and helping connect the little daily things to our spouses

I don’t feel so alone anymore. Thank you

Two frequent questions, I find in my practice, that is asked by women: “I want to feel again what I have lost” and “I want to find what I never could.” - A True Connection through mind, body, spirit and touch.

I love how you present this topic in a way that's easy to understand and easy to take action around.

What a beautiful sharing of something so personal and vulnerable. I'm glad to see this kind of conversion becoming more common. It helps everyone.

Wow !!! Loved it Pam. Well done, this is so useful and I´ll certainly share it with my girlfriends: THANK YOU

Thank you for talking about this. This topic is so important, and it helped a lot.

As a male, this is very helpful. One of the most eye opening TED talks I've listened to.

Such an important conversation, I appreciate your vulnerability and confidence, loved your talk.

Amazing! The messages we received when we were kids really impact on our actions

And that's why anybody who has any particular concerns in life should seek professional help or even merely form a support group that provides a safe place for each individual to talk about their own vulnerabilities, find hope with the universality of experiences and create a direction on how to respond or address the concerns properly through the insight and esteem building that you have created as you went along the group or an individual person to whom to talked with

What a fantastic presentation. Important too. One of the best TED talks I’ve seen.

I really wish I had people in my life who I could talk about this stuff with

Amin..I had a female friend who shared her experiences 10 years ago since then I m a happy girl, my libido is always going up as I m approaching 40! It does work 100% her idea:)

Wow! This is a very important talk!

Amazingly powerful.

Thank you for this!! ❤️

Remember that you deserve all the best things that life has to offer.

Wow How Amazing Without a least amount of Fuss Grasping the Impact of Perceptions Finding out the way of sharing with peers Getting back the connectivity On top of all without any Therapist or Medication or Phycho Analysts 🌹

What an amazing talk and insight. Thank you for being amazing. Thank you for being you.

A vulnerable and insightful conversation, I wish that there were more women that you could talk to openly about these issues, I’ve always felt it’s private… it’s not easy either… I’ve found someone to work with, Hoping to start so- I’m excited, I do wish as women we could be more supportive of each other in this area of our live too, we all could use it. I just came across your talk its filled with support and Encouragement, thank you … Grateful

Very brave. This also helps husbands understand. Thank you.

Great job, Pam! You’ve hit on a great number of excellent points!

Thank you, Pam!

THANK YOU... Fantastic Presentation...

Beautifully and bravely put Pam. The first thing that i got listening to you, when your husband tapped you and said 'we need to talk' was the recollection of words a colleague of mine once said that i think you embody: 'You know the mind is like a parachute.' I didn't get it until he followed through with 'because if it doesn't open, it doesnt work.' Probably your collective open mindedness is what brought you to these wonderful insights and brave offerings. I suspect that female and male sexualities and the secrets that lay therein are mirror images of each other that reflect back inwardly to merge and collaborate once the long journey from head to heart happens and the penny starts to drop. Congratulations for having what it takes to bring this conversation out in the open so that others may consider the question so eloquently put by your therapist: "What if..."

Pamela Joy, This was a great talk and is very on par with RC or Re-evaluation counseling. I am a health care provider who believes a lot can be managed by non-clinicians. The same is true for men as women. Many of us males have been told that we must be strong, not cry, don't let others see us hurt. What that tends to create is a man who feels they cannot be weak or give in to their partner or partner's needs over their own. We tend to not show emotion via crying or conversing about hurts as we do not want to be seen as a failure or in opposition to those things we are told growing up. I served 25 years in the military, 13 as a combat medic and 12 as a Physician Assistant. Over 6 combat deployments, I saw a lot of pain and a lot of death. I just kept this in until I was divorced. Finally, I looked at the situation and understood that I was the stopping point. I had to go back and visit those parts of my life where I got that message to be tough, to not fail, and to never give up. I realized I was programmed and that I needed to undo the programming. I did, over some years, and now I have a wonderful partner. She has helped me to continue to find joy in sharing my stories. We operate together, as a team and have many positives that I never experienced in my first two marriages. Yes, I divorced twice while in the military. If you ever wish to talk or share more, we can. I am on Twitter @paalvitre or via email same handle at Gmail. Thank you for sharing and I hope you and I can bring more to this understanding. Take care.

Oh my god. After watching this video I got to know the same is happening with me. This is like I discovered the reason of not enjoying it. Thank you so much for the talk and yes it is very relieving that there are so many other women who feel same.

I so needed to hear this talk! Thank you, Pamela

Spectacular. Thank you !

i was in the womens movement of the 60's and 70's and most people don't know but it was basically formed with meeting in a group once a week ( just women and i went to 2 a week) and talking about what it was to be a woman (mostly not about us in relation to male defined society). it was extraordinary and is how tribal women live - whilst men are off hunting

Excellent ! And very timely for me .... thank you.

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD TED TALK

it's about building up trust & respect levels - once you have those firmly down as the bedrock, & I'm speaking from experience here, as well as being totally at ease mentally - the rest will follow - desire will be as natural as breathing

why does this make me want to cry...?

Thank you for sharing this story with us !

Thank you Pamela Joy you are greattttttt . 💕 You and prayers for you. Your boldness was at right place and in right manner it is perfect to explain all this .

“Church”… all started there

Thank you, this talk is especially helpful to husbands who want to understand.

i loved this so much, because its like you were speaking the words out of my mouth

Bravo good woman! You are a research treasure! Thank You!

Thank you!

It is a wonderful thing when people can treat others in a positive way and as a result help those other people in their life. We don't need to judge others, and I will say that out of all the women and men that I know they are the ones to treat themselves more harshly than others usually treat them. With my wife there is only one that really judges her and that is her, and that is part of the reason we have been together for so many years.

thank you for the talk it is really inspiring to me 😍

Great talk, extremely informative!!

Good for you for sharing your experiences and feelings. Men have the same experiences.

I think this applies a 100% for men too

I am thankful to RU-vid to suggest me this video, I am in the same situation as she was.

Great message.

Great stuff! And brave, too.

Wholesome talk. Thanks

Lol, I’m kinda proud of myself cuz I’m always encouraging my friends to open up about this and actually discover themselves 👏🏼👏🏼

On headphones, I can actually hear her heart beating. Interesting feedback to what she was experiencing.

Does anyone know where I can get her paper/study?

Excellent talk. Do u recommend any books related to your eye opening sessions

Pamela is absolutely stunning! ☺

great talk; thanks for sharing your story

magnificent. we grow TOGETHER

I needed to hear this

This is amazing.

Thanks for this video!

This talk was very woman centric but the truth is men can absolutely benefit from the exact same communication.

Interesting! This basically sounds like reinventing parts of a 12 step group, where talking about one's experiences is a huge deal of the recovery process. It's really cool how much "group therapy" can help under the right circumstances - whether it's women or men who are in a group.

Loved this! Thank you.

Applause! Applause! Thank you for your bravery, Ms. Joy. How many lives did you just change?!?

Oh, I loved this.

Very interesting and informative. These results might also say something about the isolation many people are experiencing in the information age. We, as humans, are hard-wired for social interaction. Maybe this is a symptom of the lack of it these days?

Thanks for your talk about this

So if you don't have a group of friends to talk with nor the means to talk to a coach, are there secured chat rooms or groups?

I go thru the same thing with my wife. Only I don't get the look of guilt from her. I get anger and abusive speech being accused of being selfish and made to feel that my feelings and needs have no place in this marriage.

Very educative ❤️👍

That last piece of advise is extremely good and useful.

Thank you

I want to comment to your story starting at 4:25: "I was 6 years old and I touched myself and it felt good". My story: It happened the summer after the end of WW2 in a small town in Central Europe. I was 10 years old. My aunt came with her very beautiful 6 years old daughter for a visit. One day my cousin took me by the hand and led me to a room that served for wood storage. She put her hands around my neck and gave me a never ending French kiss. It was very enjoyable. That was the best summer of my long life. I never told this story to anyone, even my best friend, as I thought that our behavior was not normal. Thank you Pam for relieving me of guilt.

Beautiful Pam, thankyou for not blaming men!

Brave honest woman, rare gem!

I needed to hear this 😣. Where can I find this?

Is it only me or do you also hear her heart beat