Relationship Therapist vs. Hitch: Did HITCH have good dating advice? 

One day, while my husband was watching TV in the living room, I was in the kitchen (couldn't reach something because I'm short) and I complained aloud to myself (didn't think anyone else could hear me) about the predicament. My husband turned off the TV, and went out to the garage. A few moments passed and I began to hear saws and hammering and power tools... Eventually my husband came into the kitchen and placed a well made step stool in front of me. He kissed me on the cheek and then went back into the living room and turned the TV back on. Listen to your partner even if they aren't talking directly to you and be attentive to their needs without a self serving motive. Every time I look at that dumb step stool I get the urge to go show the man some love.

"It's okay if she says no" is the best dating advice you could ever give.

I always felt like Hitch's rules ("any man can get any woman," "no dancing," "hide the inhaler") were wrong, but his *advice* (she wants the real you but doesn't want it all at once, listen and respond, when you're with her be present and engaged) was actually pretty good.

“My goal is to become fit enough and attractive enough that when people see me with my wife they go ‘yeah, that makes sense’” That is hilarious but wonderfully wholesome! Rooting for your fitness journey Jono!

One thing to add here: The reason why we turn down random advances with a friendly smile is not necessarily to spare the other person's feelings. It's often also because most women have been in situations where rejection wasn't taken all too well by the man on the receiving end and things escalated. So we try to be extra friendly to diffuse any potential tension that might result in a bad situation. However, unfortunately some guys then take our smiles and friendliness as "try harder". It's kind of a no-win scenario. So guys, always make sure you come across as non-threatening as possible if you make any advances towards a woman who doesn't know you.

"I was no longer so in love with the idea of love that I fell for anyone who gave me the light of day... I was okay on my own. When I got to a place where I didn't NEED somebody..." THIS. This is what broke my cycle of short and hard relationships and into a partnership and marriage that has lasted eight years so far.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for mentioning the hygiene thing. I'm a nerdy girl that clocks in around a 7 and in my teenage college years I was actively looking for a nerdy guy. He didn't need to be handsome or fit, but I needed to be able to geek out with him. ...there were so many guys I would have really probably hit it off with if they'd just showered. It was crazy to think "oh I think this guy is cute..oh! He likes Doctor Who and ....OMG I can't breathe, doesn't he know what soap is?!"

The two best dating advice bits I've ever received were from my little brother and a good friend. One told me to be completely myself, that way if I'm not to someone's taste, that's fine, but if they like me they actually like ME. The other told me to find a plan to make myself happy, and not wait for a partner to "complete me," and if the right person came along, I'd be ready to be my best self and a good partner. Gold.

Honestly, when Hitch says to Allegra he did "nothing" at the end, I have to disagree. Albert didn't do everything he said, but Hitch gave him enough mental preparedness to have a little confidence. And Albert did listen to Allegra quite well, which was the most important thing Hitch said in the whole movie. How Albert was at the beginning of the movie compared to the end was remarkable. He will still a dork, his personality stayed the same, but he had CONFIDENCE. And he started to believe in himself and possibilities.

If some guy actually rescued my pet from being hit by a car, that would be impressive, BUT... if I later found out that they faked it, it would be a serious crisis for me. I'd have to at least mentally debate ending things on that specific event.

The scene with "Chip"!! I just noticed! He's like hovering over her, the camera is at her eye level looking up at him, making him seem like he's trying to look down on her and corner her, Hitch sits down with her and gives her space. Women notice body language like that all the time so be mindful of how you position yourself. Also great attention to detail with the filming aspect.

One of my favorite pieces of advice from this movie is from the very beginning. When he's talking about the first date, he says to relax. She's already said yes to spending time with you, instead of doing any number of other things. That is not something I had thought of in that way, before. It's great advice for not only dating, but in my work in sales. If I get an appointment with a prospect, I can relax because they have already agreed to meet with me, so obviously are open to what I have to offer.

"The best lovers are the best listeners." I couldn't agree more with this advice.

Omg Jono’s “this woman right here, what does HER list look like?” thing… I have said that to SO MANY FRIENDS. Like how the hell does someone who refuses to get off the couch think they have the right to EXPECT a partner to exercise like crazy to maintain a certain body type? Or a hundred other utterly incompatible things! Good lord.

My favorite thing about this movie as a whole is: Hitch never exactly blamed women for not looking at those guys as "options". He helped them to get lookable as options, helped them to be more confident, comfortable and smooth with the whole dating thing. In the end he just learned that love is unpredictable and it may end up in different ways for everybody (like, even if the girl didn't end up falling for the guy, it's okay because he learned a bunch of things and improved himself anyway). Which is the exact opposite of the incel fantasy that thinks that a pretty girl will fall with any guy that treats her merely nicely and if the doesn't she's a futile whore :p The only thing missing is the acknowledge of gay, ace and aro women, but I think that's too much ro ask from a movie released when it was released

This makes me thankful for the relationship I have with my husband. When we first got together people acted like I was out of his league (kind of messed up really) simply because I looked one way and he looked another. I wasn't looking for a relationship because I was enjoying being single for the first time in my life but he was such a good guy. I didn't want to miss out on someone amazing simply because I wasn't looking at that exact moment. Best decision I've ever made and I think we fit together perfectly. We bring out the best in each other.

Hitch didn't believe his own pitch, but his advice in telling men to simply be themselves to get their dream girls actually worked, which is what made Allegra fall for Albert.

"some women just don't like YOU." 15 seconds in and I already feel attacked

A lot of people, especially in high school and college wondered why my boyfriend and I were together. I’m a thin blond girl and my boyfriend is a large guy with thick glasses. One time someone even asked if I was drunk when I started dating him (almost punched that person) but then I was visiting him at college and said something and his friends said “ooohh this makes sense now” gesturing between the two of us. Our personalities just fit. We’ve been dating for 6 1/2 years, and I think we have more to look forward to

A friend of mine once confessed to me after years of me telling them I’m not interested in dating, romance, sex, or marriage. And when I turned them down, they kinda acted like it was my fault they were attracted to me. Sometimes no really means no, people, and if that’s your attitude when you’re turned down, you didn’t really like the person in the first place.

This episode had me more upset with you guys than I've ever been. As we were nearing the end, I was a bundle of fear, disappointment, anger, and grief as I thought we weren't going to get to see the high note of Jono's "Take on Me"

"I thought I had game, but I was just toxic" So true bestie. I feel like every well meaning teenage boy with an ounce of charisma has been there by accident.

Speaking as a sister. My brother went through a couple relationships that were icky. Us, his six sisters, could always tell based on how the girl acted around us. The craziest never wanted to be alone with us to the extent of following him around the house and leaving a room if we entered. The best would come to family gatherings and hang out with us individually. So yes, winning over roommates and family is important because we will SEE if you're not good for them.

I like that John and Alan are honest about their history as former toxic men. They don’t try to hide it and use their past to call out both their past selves and others who are like that. I salute you men

The one line I consistently remember from this movie is _"You cannot use what you do not have."_ It just felt like really sound advice. Learn to view yourself comfortably rather than pretending to be what you're not just to keep someone's attention.

"No, some women are ace" That made me so happy! I'm very openly ace and have heard some of my college professors (I'm studying psychology) discresdit and invalidate that, so hearing other people from the psychotherapy, specially ones from other generations, just casually validate me make me super happy. Thank you so much for that! ps: Sorry if it sounds a bit off, English is not my first language

It’s very sad that some people say no when they mean try harder, because a lot of people grow up thinking _everyone_ means try harder. It took me a long time to figure out that’s not how the world works. I’ll never forget, I asked my pastor where that line was between “pursuing someone but not crossing that line into… like… being creepy?” And he basically said you shouldn’t pursue anyone. If they’re not interested enough in you to reciprocate your advances (regardless of the reason), you should move on.

IDK, I see Hitch's real contribution to the relationships he helps is that he provides the guys with confidence, understanding of social cues, fashion tips, and reinforcing positive qualities to maintain a healthy relationship, such as listening to your partner, being honest with them, and building trust with her and the people they care about. However, a lot of the the tactics he uses are a little creepy and/or dishonest, and I think bring down the good things he brings. For the movie to completely write him off is a little much, I think, but I understand that was always the point of the film.

"The best foreplay is relationships itself" - best quote 👍

“Don’t tell them your entire romantic history on the first date.” I had a guy tell me his worst break up on our first date. At first I was thinking “You’ve GOT to be kidding me.” After he was done with his break up story I told him MY worse break up story completely deadpan. Pretty sure he didn’t like that I one upped him because mine was 100x worse than his. Sorry, were you looking for sympathy? Gees! That’s what you get for trying to play the pity card. Suffice to say, there was no second date.

I felt so validated when you said "some people know what they want! They make lists" 😊 that's ME! And I'm often judged for it, but I really feel that a lot of people know what they want, but they don't sit down and write it down

The part where Alan explained the "spectrum of you" hit me hard, because I did that in late HS and most of college, altering who I was depending on who I was with. But unlike Alan, I was using a false spectrum, facets that weren't me at all. And I was so fake that by the time I graduated college, I had no idea who I was and was utterly miserable.

Coming from a woman, I don't mind normally when a guy drops a pick up line or tries to pick me up. It's a compliment, but when someone can't take no for an answer or they miss signs that I am clearly uncomfortable it's because I don't matter to them, their own desires matter. It's just about basic social respect.

Whoever put himbo phase for Alan describing his college years deserves a cookie

When you talked about getting to a place where you were ok to be on your own I felt like shouting "SEE?! EVEN JONO AGREES" I've always been ok with being single and stated how I didn't NEED a boyfriend to be happy...I was told how it was "impossible to feel like that" or how it meant there was something wrong with me. But that's why it was so easy to find the right partners.

The scene with Hitch shouting at the restaurant goes to show how important music is, because the dramatic music swelling underneath makes it feel like he's taking a stand and that it's, like, an emotional turning point, but if that were real life, or even if it were the same scene without music, there's no way I wouldn't just be afraid of a man yelling like that in public. I'd be looking for the exits and trying to get away

I feel like all he did was teach good social skills. Manners, basic dress code, how to carry on a conversation. And that’s not changing who they are, it’s just making them a more likable, easier to get along with person. They’re often things that should be changed anyway if you want to improve yourself.

Hitch has always been my favorite rom-com. I feel like people that complain about it being toxic weren't actually paying attention to the movie. Hitch isn't providing relationship advice for his clients, he's only providing advice for the first 3 dates and even says "after that, you're on your own". And he also points out "I hope she's single, 'cause I don't do break-ups". He helps create opportunities for his clients to get noticed but whether or not that becomes a successful relationship is completely up to the couple. Of course, it isn't applicable to everyone but the majority of people can benefit from general things the movie is saying: 1. be honest, 2. pay attention to him/her/them, and 3. be yourself. All of that is good advice for any stage in a relationship.

I made a list. I would date a potential love interest a couple of times, and if he didn’t hit all points, we didn’t date again. I did this happily for a while, and then met the one who did all the points, which deeply frightened me. I ran away. He caught me. We are about to celebrate 30 weird years of marriage.

Honestly, Jono is so adorable! I cannot imagine people looking weird because his wife supposedly is "out of his league" in terms of looks. What are looks, looks fade sooner or later. Jonathan has a big personality, big heart, empathy and he is gentle AND likes karaoke not being afraid to go wild doing it! Who WOULDN'T want to be with someone like Jono? ❤

I love to see Jonathan's kids dancing while he sings karaoke, just adorable!

I think why they call it male fantasy (the part with the “unattractive” guy getting the “attractive” woman), is because you don’t often see that dynamic portrayed in reverse. So it’s seen sort of like a trophy for men, but women have pressure to strive to be the trophy. That’s just how I’ve perceived that notion anyway. I know it’s a thing that plays out in reality, but people tend to be more open to things that are normalized in media and that reverse dynamic, along with age differences where it’s the woman who is older instead of the man, aren’t really that normalized yet and are sort of seen as taboo or against the grain, breaking the norm.

I think the best dating advice I've ever heard from the perspective of a man is you need to understand that you need to make the other person feel safe around you.

There is nothing better than being able to be yourself with someone without judgement. With my ex husband I embarrassed him a lot, he never tried to make me feel bad about it but I could see it on his face which still hurt me. With my current husband, we dress up and go to comic con together and jam out to stupid songs in the car and support each others obsessions (mine being books, his being collectable toys). Its freeing.

You said "some women are asexual", and I just want to respectfully point out that asexual is not the same as aromantic. One means experiencing little to no sexual attraction, the other means experiencing little to no romantic attraction. People can be both (like me!) or one or the other (or neither, of course), and since this is primarily about romance, I think saying "some women are aromantic" would be more fitting here.

I know the feeling, people are always shocked when they see my husband with me. I am not very attractive I do take care of myself but my husband is a 10/10 and I am average 5/10 when it comes to looks. And I see it on peoples faces when we're out together, I see the other women flirt with him and completely ignore me while he ignores them. He is always telling me that I'm sexy, and not only is he a good looking man, he is a good man, he's smart, funny, and a huge dork, an amazing father. He is the only man I have ever felt safe, secure, loved, heard, and understood by and I know we will make it through to our 20 and 30 or more years together. Those other women they don't see the whole man they just see his good looks, but I have the privilege of knowing the whole man.

I had to backtrack because I didnt realize Jono dancing and singing was Jono! I thought it was a movie clip! How CUTE!

That karaoke clip melted my frozen soul. just some adorable, wonderful kiddos dancing to a man having seizure (I kid. that was better singing than I expected). Kids doing things with no knowledge of what other people are experiencing and adults that encourage them will always get me right in the feels

When Alan said a voiceover is a crux to fix a broken story, I immediately thought of Twilight and then you two delivered!!!! Amazing.

I object to Hitch’s conclusion about providing “absolutely nothing” for his clients. He just focused on the wrong things. His “magic” was not in his methods, but by giving hope and encouragement to his clients. He wasn’t perfect, but who is?

I like that you guys openly admit some crappy behavior, a lot of people pretend they're perfect especially some therapists that aren't necessarily the best, so that's super cool

“The best fore play is the relationship itself” So true. My partner is very attentive. I’ve always been the attentive type but having someone do it back and be patient with me and allows me to be flexible with what I want or don’t want has really allowed me to further explore sex in a way I couldn’t in previous relationships

@Cinema Therapy - I was recently struggling really hard to find a way to word the "What does THEIR list look like" concept when I told a friend I'm not dating right now because I don't find MYSELF attractive and I need to work on some things first. Of course, they started in with the supportive, "you're beautiful, you're amazing" speech but what I was really trying to tell them is that I didn't feel like I was on the same level as the kind of person I would WANT. When I imagine the kind of person I want to be with, I can't believe they're imagining me. So I need to take better care of myself, address some of my bad habits, break down walls and barriers that are holding me back in life goals and become someone I personally find attractive so that I feel attractive enough to go after the person on my list. Thanks for putting that in a way that made sense! This is why I watch this channel.

You mentioning asexual women really warms me as someone who identifies in that spectrum :,) thank you youtube dads

Having no real father figure, it's really refreshing to binge and enjoy this channel for thought provoking concepts, rational comprhension, and just basic common sense that I never even realized was common nor sensible.

Regarding the "win over the best friend" rule, I had an experience with that. My cousin and I went to the same college at the same time. Different last names, and oddly enough, we were friends before we realized we were cousins. Both of us kept playing phone tag with the person we knew was our cousin, but met in person (no last names given. This was college, and NOBODY used last names in introductions), so we kept missing each other's phones, and kept bumping into each other in person, and we really hit it off. We hadn't seen each other in 8 years, so, we didn't recognize each other, and we both had super common names, so, yeah. Well, after we established our rapport, and we discovered that we were the very people we were looking for almost all semester, our scheduled changed a bit, and I wound up seeing him every Sunday, after church. He was a handsome young man, and every time I saw him after church, he was surrounded by girls, vying for his attention. The first time, he saw me, and waved me over. The girls all turned, saw me, and gave me the stink eye, right up until the moment that he introduced me as his cousin, and then they were all smiles. Well, the next time I saw him alone, I told him about that, and he responded with, "HEY! I have a great idea! I'll introduce you to all the girls I know, and you tell me if they do that same thing, or if they are actually genuine with you. I mean, even if they hate you, just because I'm talking to you, it's better for them to keep hating you, after they know you're my cousin, because at least it's HONEST. But I'd rather find a woman who smiles at you from the beginning." So, I vetted his potential dates, every Sunday afternoon. Never did find a genuine girl who was happy to see me being waved over to join their conversation, the entire semester, but he was happy, because he saved SO MUCH TIME. He had a great attitude about "Well, that's another person I don't have to waste time getting to know, at all." Yeah, it may not be a hard and fast rule, but SMART people, of any gender, will get someone they trust to vet their potential lovers, at least a little. Even if it's only a surface scan, as it were, you want someone who has met your lover, who is willing and able to dig deeper, should you have any suspicions, and will help you get your petty revenge, if they find something awful. When my college roommate found out something awful about her fiance, the "friend" who helped her get the petty revenge was the man's wife and mother of his children, who introduced herself as such BEFORE she had spent too much money on the wedding preparations. Man, that fellow was a complete and utter jerk. Fortunately, his wife had the sense to blame the bigamist and not "the other woman," who was just as much a victim as she was. People in the throes of love, especially young love, and/or the early stages of love, can be blinded by their infatuation, and REALLY need that second (or more) pair of eyes, to help spot the red flags that may look white, through the rose-colored glasses.

"The best foreplay is the relationship itself" reminds me of the best advice I got from an older Jamaican man who said "Everything is foreplay". It's everything you do in your time with the lady that creates the moments of intimacy that matter.

Jonathan just made a point that struck home and I didn't realize it until he said it. All my life I've been the person who does the listening and I had a terrible marriage and a vicious divorce and now I am on my own because I was the person who is giving everything and listening to everything and no one was listening to me. Jonathan's right, I am better off on my own. I don't need anyone to validate me. I will admit it would have been nice to have someone actually listen to me but that's just not in the cards. Thanks for pointing that out. I mean really I should have seen it, because it's pretty obvious but honestly until I heard Jonathan speak it in this video I didn't actually realize it.

"The best foreplay is the relationship itself", I like that

The thing I love about this film is it's about people trying to find love, even if one's ideas aren't entirely accurate. Hitch made it very clear at the very beginning that he's not about helping guys who just want to have sex. He's trying to help guys find love with girls that they genuinely have feelings for, but feel they don't have a shot at making that connection. And even better with this film...Hitch learns that there's no real "playbook" out there for those kinds of relationships. Such a good movie!

But the way Jonathan's wife looks at him when they film Mended Light, and the way he looks back... Jesus, I start believing that true love exists. One cannot play that. Really. NO movie ever showed that look of absolute admiration.

Since you guys aren't nearly old enough to be my internet dads, can I call you my internet bros? Because brothers are awesome too. And since we're on the subject of romance, I would love to see you guys analyze Pride and Prejudice, particularly the 2005 film since 1) it's my favorite and 2) the filmmakers made setting changes to a few of the scenes that add so much supportive emotion that might not otherwise fit in just two hours. I would just like to see Alan's take on these differences and just the movie itself, and Jono's take on the Lizzy/Darcy relationship as a whole. Thanks for all your great videos, internet bros!

"what does her list look like" was a huge thing for me because I realized that I have to be the kind of man that the kind of woman I want would want. I also realized that women have their own motivations and desires that have nothing to do with me because they're still humans like men are, just very different.

Y’all are doing the lords work. Therapy is a luxury many people can’t afford but RU-vid is free! & these videos are always packed with so much wisdom, inclusive language, & vulnerability that people need to see. The fact that your two men makes it even better. It’s not a replacement for therapy but it’s still worth a lot.

The initial intereaction of hitch romantic interest in the movie is basically him showing his cards, being as genuine as he can afford and then walking away saying "if you are interested you can make your move if you aren't I'm always going away" giving the other person the option is important too

Something I like about "'You' is a very fluid concept" is that it reminds us that developing as a person is a lifelong exercise. Hopefully, you don't stop growing or developing on your 25th, or 30th, or 50th birthday. You spend every day of your life learning about yourself, and the world around you, figuring out who you are, and sometimes even questioning some parts of yourself that may have seemed fine until you consider them from a different perspective. No person is really ever "done", nobody has ever reached peak perfection.

One of my female friends made a list of everything she wanted in a guy, and she was *so* proud of herself. I looked at the list, and went "Okay, now, the list is a good choices, but you're *definitely* not getting all of this. What you're looking for is 70%, priority if they hit the 80% range." She gave me this look, and went, "What? How can you say that?" "Because no one is 100% of what you want, and if they're only what you want, they can't be what you need to keep growing. And it's the same for guys, we can't get all of what we want in a girl, either. Look at it like this: If a guy is 100% what you want, that means there's no surprise left, because you're both pretty much the same person. Having standards is good, and you should prioritize items on this list, the things are 'mission critical' to a relationship, like you want to get married and start a family, down to 'Love it if it's there, but it's fine if it isn't'."

The moment Jonathan sang the " tell me whyyyy " my brain went GOD DAMN that man has a voice 😳😳😳👏👏

One thing that I absolutely loved about Hitch is that the premise about his consultation is about "the chance." Hitch tried to set up the opportunity for these guys to meet and be seen by the woman they like. After that, she'll either like it and the two will give a relationship a try or it won't work out. Taking a non-sleeze approach not only pushed back against the hook-up thing, it also helped reinforce the notion that "no" is ok.

The plugs of Jonathan's real life had me I stitches 🤣 Hitch has always been my favorite rom-com, simply because of the message it gives in the end of you can pur your best foot forward, but if you don't show them the real you, it all falls apart

Finding a romantic partner is really a subsection of finding friends so the best dating advice is good social advice. With that in mind Hitch does give good advice because it would also apply to somebody in a new town looking to build a social life. The basic stuff like hygiene and conversation skills will get you the time of day, identifying and focusing on shared values will help you move forward, and if the spark is there that's just up to fate. I also think it would be more accurate to say the reasons for not dating someone are usually half truths rather than lies. Wether it's a woman saying "I'm not currently looking for a date," or a man saying"I'm not ready to commit." That is true and slightly misleading as there is the extra clause they have both left tactfully unspoken, "with you." When I had a friend try and hint to me that another friend was considering asking me out, I was being truthful when I said I didn't have time for a boyfriend and also I just didn't do smokers, (literally the only deal breaker I have ever had.) It was also true, however, that for the right man I would have been willing to find the time and there may even have been a guy out there somewhere for whom I would accept the ashtray breath. But he wasn't that guy. When dealing with somebody who really wants to date you, wether it's because he has a crush on you in particular or is just desperate to have a partner, then he's going to be looking for any loopholes in your excuses to keep the dream alive. Like Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber, tell him the chances of you being attracted to him are "one in a million" and he's likely to cling on desperately to that ONE. In that case we should all be happy for him to have a friend like Hitch who can bring him down to Earth with the advice. "Dude, she was just being polite, that was clearly code for not being into you, it won't help you to go back next week and ask if she's less busy now."

I completely agree that "gaps in conventionnal attractiveness" in real life is a stupid concept and that happy love does not care for these, but you gotta admit it's tiring when in movies it's always, always supermodel *women* with mediocre *men* so yes, I *will* still roll my eyes at this until there's a balance and women are portrayed around more diverse body shapes/ages and not for laugh

My roommates totally had a hand in my marriage. "Oh, I like this guy. You're just so relaxed around him. It's like all your stress disappears. You know I don't think I've heard you yell once since you've been with him. Yeah. Not like that other guy." Lol

I don't know the words to properly express how, as a fairly recently realized ace who's had to explain what it is to almost everyone I've told, your inclusion of asexuality in this episode made me feel so happy and seen!

I loved this episode. As someone going through a divorce right now, it was great to see all the areas that I thought were missing in my relationship, really were, and that's why the relationship broke down. He didn't listen, he stopped caring about my interests the moment we got married, he left me to handle all the responsibilities, he gaslighted me and he eventually became verbally and emotionally abusive. Good to be validated and know that I'm not wrong when I think about what's healthy for myself.

As an ace woman I give all of my love to you guys. 😭 Even when I was single, guys hitting on me out of nowhere when we havent even really MET each other makes me just super uncomfortable and Id have to come up with anything to get out of it. Now luckily I can just say Im married LOL. Funnily enough my husband got me to date him by being my friend first and bonding with me until we felt our relationship grew to that.

I am not surprised that someone could fall in love with Jonathan Decker. Insightful, great listener, respectful, doesn't take himself too seriously and helps people to be comfortable opening up. Also his wife is in the same profession as well as sharing similar personality traits. So that is doubly unsurprising.

I absolutely love watching you guys interact with your children. I can tell you’re both amazingly loving and fun fathers. I’d love to see you guys do an episode with the kids, maybe let them pick the movie and use it as an opportunity for discussion and getting their thoughts and ideas on certain topics. The way those kids smile when they’re around you guys, you’re doing it right. My hats off.

My husband did a crazy dance like that & it's was one of the things I really liked about him. I love his playfulness & not taking himself so seriously. One of many things that got my attention 🥰

3:00 When woman says that to you, it means either they are not into you or they are not emotionally available right now because of the reasons they gave you and it's a world of pain to get into a relationship with someone that is not emotionally available, so move on, respect them and respect yourself.

I crazily relate so much to the Allegra/Albert relationship in my own life. My current boyfriend of almost 4 years doesn't really meet my previous "standards" or what I imagined my future boyfriend to look like. I was chasing my "ideal guy" and constantly getting heartbroken cuz they kept ending up being real douchebags. And I am a fairly attractive woman and gets lots of male attention but 4 years ago I met my boyfriend during a time I was on dating apps. Yesterday I asked him what was it on my profile that really attracted him. He said it was the fact that I said on my profile I named all my succulents. Every other guy would have mentioned my pictures, or my body but nope, it was my weirdness that attracted him and funny enough, my bf is the first bf where I feel completely 100% comfortable with. All my weirdness comes out with him and we be cracking up and we fit each other so perfectly. We are so different but have such a soul bond. I love that dork with all my heart

I can always count on Jonathan to remind people or even enlighten people that some of us are aromantic or asexual or both! As someone who is both I honestly freak out and get so excited when he mentions it which makes me feel so seen and I love him for that the representation seriously matters 💙

"I thought I had game.... turns out I was just toxic." might just be one of the funniest and truest statements I have ever heard. A lot of us have been there, but realizing it and wanting to improve is what gives me hope.

My fiance said he didn't approach me for years because he thought he wasn't in my league which couldn't be further from the truth. He is so smart, willing to learn and a great listener. Jonathan, I'm sure your wife considers you worthy of her just as much I always considered my fiance worthy of me in every respect. Please take care of yourselves and live a long happy life with each other. Love the work you and Alan do.

I love this movie. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and was feeling super down on myself, so my friend decided we were going to skip our first two classes, eat junk food, and watch Hitch. It made me laugh, and it was such a nice little distraction.

PLEASE! I AM BEGGING YOU GUYS! Analyze “the fault in our stars” and “five feet apart”! Such emotionally deep movies!

there’s a book i read in primary school about this boy who would carry around a “pizza cake” (the title of the book iirc - basically a slice of a bunch of pizzas stacked on top of each other) around in his pocket every day, and when he needed confidence, he would take a bite and suddenly feel super confident. he started doing this was because his late grandfather was a super daredevil type guy who did heaps of courageous acts and whenever the boy asked him how he could do those things, the grandpa always responded “pizza cake”. he befriends a shy boy and realises that he needs the secret more than he (the original boy) does, so he shared it with him. it’s then that he realises that his grandpa wasn’t saying “pizza cake” at all the whole time-he was saying “piece of cake”. but it works. the shy boy gains confidence. and so did he. i think that’s what hitch was doing for albert. he had structure and content, and while most of the movie was focussed on the content, it was the structure that really mattered. the structure inspires confidence - albert already had his own content that ultimately was what the celebrity was taken by. anyway i really like the scent of my conditioner today idk where i was going with this lol

Best compliment I've had from a lot of women as soon as they're comfy with me, is that I tend to go into deep conversation and try to engage with their feelings and thoughts. Good questions are, in my experience: "How does that make you feel", "why does that make you feel this way" and actually respond to what she says. Don't judge and don't give a solution. Just acknowledge, later she'll ask advice. However, I wasn't romantically interested in these women, I just tend to talk to women a lot more easily then I do with guys as a guy. How? I haven't a clue.

I love that you are tackling serious topics in a humorous way. As a woman, when a guy tries to be with me just out of desperation, it is a major turn off for me. And most pick-up lines come across as creepy. Guys, just be you and you will attract the right woman for you. If you don't like you, do the work so you do like yourself and you will be all the more attractive. Thanks again for a great video!

I love that Johnathan is an ally, mentioning asexuality and non-binary persons. From personal experience, asexual and aromantic people can be nervous about forming new relationships, because society pushes the narrative that sex and romantic love are necessary for a successful partnership. That line of thinking leaves no room for possibilities of queerplatonic relationships.

Yes that was my favorite part. Using psychology, reading what she is giving off, being respectful, get her to peak her interest and then say "well it was nice to meet you" give them a kind smile and walk away. Idk but why does that feel more satisfying to me then actually hooking up with someone?

This. This is exactly what I was trying to tell a friend. He was "I'm horribly damaged by previous relationships. A new relationship will fix it!" and then getting surprised when people didn't want to get with him. I'd be like "You need your own happiness, don't make someone else that person, that's a bad relationship" and he'd go "but I am so lonely" - and nothing I could do would stop him saying that. He'd never make any attempts to not be lonely, and grab on to anyone who paid him attention and drown them in his own attempts to stop it, and never take the steps needed to fix himself. He got tossed from my life when he started saying abuse-help made women hate men.

Funny enough "here's all of my trauma" was how I found my wife. At the time I was recovering from my third round of a woman I loved leaving me because of something in my past. So this time I was determined to give her every reason to leave before I got attached. She decided to stick around anyway, and that's how I knew it was her.

My now fiance and I did everything wrong but it worked out so well. We had both been single for a long time before we met, 6 years for me. We were older and didn't want to play the dating game. In the first three days we talked about ask the things you aren't supposed to, politics, religious beliefs, past trauma, past partners, and what we wanted in life. After the first week we slept together and had moved in with each other. We have been together for five years and we are getting married next summer. We have amazing communication and do weekly check ins with each other. I really happy we have built such a strong, open, and honest relationship. There were a lot of people who said we wouldn't work because we moved to fast. But over all I think we were both just ready and open enough to make it work.

I love this film so damn much. I know it has a feeew problems ("any guy can get any girl" and all that) but the basic message is just perfection. I've had a few jobs over the years where I've come into contact with "nice guys" or guys that don't talk to women a lot. And I feel like if they knew that I'm not talking to them because of their personality, but because they're overcompensating with their attitude (or to be honest that they have greasy hair and smell bad a lot of the time), the conversation would be VERY different and they'd have a much easier time of it. Like, boys. Men. Anyone trying to find that special someone: it's not your personality, and it's not the other person being shallow/vain/etc. Show them you care about them. Show them you care about yourSELF. You'd be surprised just how far that can go.

This was an episode I was waiting patiently for.

I loved Hitch. I am one of those "career focused" women who wouldn't mind a relationship but am also not looking. Which makes being in the right place to find a new relationship nearly impossible - which also means that when someone does show interest, it freaks me out on some level knowing all of the above lol.

Hitch is a good lesson at seeing things that are unattractive and to stop doing those things. That opens the way for you to be more aware and choose a more attractive route. It's not about changing who you are, but getting a little help to better yourself. We all have knowledge gaps, the more we fill the better we are.

I often don't to like videos even when I thoroughly enjoy the content, but Allan's apology to his wife at the end is literally what inspired me to do so on this one. Lol y'all are very entertaining

It’s always nice when being ace is not only recognized but allowed to be seen as legitimate and okay. 😊