Reviewing EVERY Hitman - Critical Nobody 

Update: As of 8/10/2023, four years after the original upload, a section of this video (2:56-3:28) has been muted due to a copyright claim. It absolutely ruins the intended joke and makes the overall video worse, but it's the only way to prevent multiple companies from stealing revenue that absolutely does not belong to them. HITMAN 3 VR Review - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-yJZMxcgTshE.html HITMAN 3 (2021) Review - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-9vufmMNugXU.html IO Interactive's Other Games - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1dJI-Xm24Fo.html Listening to a nerd talk for an entire hour is a lot to ask so in case you want to take a break or only care about my thoughts on one game in particular, you'll find time stamps listed below. Time stamps: 0:00 - Intro 1:52 - Codename 47 9:00 - Silent Assassin 17:36 - Contracts 22:38 - Blood Money 29:00 - Absolution 39:42 - GO/Sniper 44:25 - HITMAN (2016) 54:48 - HITMAN 2 Thanks for watching! If you'd like to see more of my content, here's the Critical Nobody playlist - bit.ly/2M3r65U

47 being bald actually makes him less traceable, he can’t lose hair on the floor which is DNA. Also being so boney makes him lose less skin cells

The one thing EVERY 47 fan has ever said: “ what did I do?!”

One thing I have realized is all targets make the same mistake: “can I have one moment without all of you guards following me around?” Every single time

Absolution was actually my first Hitman game. I went into it knowing nothing about it or the franchise. My mom and I had such a great time with it. While I know more now and realize it was not at all Hitman, it holds a special place in my heart.

I remember seeing Colorado in Hitman 2016 and thinking finally all the American voice acting will make sense but then almost everyone had a Cockney accent

I just noticed that I watched this without moving for an hour.

Blood Money's ending is one of the best endings in gaming. Not only is it good by itself, but also it's an ending only a game can have.

Blood Money is an incredible game. I remember managing to get a Silent Assassin rating on every mission on Professional difficulty. The game was punishing on Professional, but getting through a mission without raising any suspicion is so satisfying.

Why can't I sit through one 40 minute episode of a TV show, yet sat through a 1h game review and it flew by fast

"I need to use the byaaathroom." God, i love hitman 1 voice acting.

26:42 Alec Baldwin approves

Contracts is so underrated. The soundtrack and the athmosphere is a perfection. Its the darkest game in the series

Just in case you ever questioned if it's worth taking the time to create hour long videos like this: It's absolutely worth it. I really enjoy your longform retrospectives on game franchises. I hope you make more in the future!

If I remember correctly, IOi stated that the original idea behind Blood Money’s newspaper was that if you killed the target with an accident and only killed the target, their death would be a minor side section in the papers. If you only killed the target but there were witnesses, they’d get a much larger section, and if you killed too many non-targets, your exploit would get front page. This seems like a neat system, especially for those who like to role play as 47.

I’ve always thought how 47 isn’t being recognized by federal agencies around the globe. He may commit murders while being hidden and using different disguises. But he always enters a location with the same suit. So he is always being seen as agent 47. At this point, there HAS to be a pattern established because a bald dude wearing a suit and a red tie is always present in places where someone has a weird accident, or mysteriously drowned, chocked, shot in the head.

The suspicion meter in Hitman 2 (the original) seems random because it differs per map. It's based upon a reasonable expectation of how likely it would be for someone to recognise that you're in disguise. For example, on the first map, the mafia all know each other, so they very quickly recognise you aren't one of them. It is a bit of a frustrating mechanic sometimes, but it is not random.

Keep in mind that Hitman: Codename 47 was released in a time where pretty much ALL shooters games had hostile NPCs. Everyone you see is a foe, shoot on sight! And judging by the C47's guides and reviews over on GameFAQs, it confused a TON of people, apparently. Now, isn't it something!

I have to say, the Berlin mission (Apex Predator) in Hitman 3 (2021) with the default starting point is hands down my favorite mission in the entire Hitman franchise.

My favorite part of silent assasin is the fact that any weapons you have on your person when you clear a level, will instantly be added to your shed. And in the shed, there are outlines of every single unlockable weapon in the game, so can easily tell what weapons you should keep an eye out for when playing levels! Spoilers ahead lads! What out! One of (if not THE) last levels has 47 arriving back at his home base, without any weapons, and the place is swarming with guards. My first playthrough I tried to struggle my way through and kill everyone on the map. The second playthrough I realized "Oh shit, I have my _shed"_

Hitman: Contracts came out when I was 13 years old and it was my first introduction to the Hitman series on a Playstation demo disc. Hitman: Blood Money was then released and I bought it day one on release, at this point I was a very heavy pot head but the immersion I got from that game was absolutely incredible. From playing Hitman I moved to Kane and Lynch and holy shit.. I loved the story move even though so many people hated it but the online multiplayer... I loved the concept of what they made from it so much. The difficulty of working together and then that split moment of the anxiety of working against either other was so unique..

I remember it, like it was just yesterday. Secretly playing Blood Money, my first entry into the franchise, at night, selecting the flatline Mission and i asked myself: what happens, if every person died in an "accident"? So i knocked everybody out, dragged them from across the map up to the second floor into the room with the globe on the first floor and threw those 44 bodies from the handrail onto the globe.... aaaand it paid off! The Titel i received at the end was totally new to my eyes and was called "Versicherungsvertreter" (insurance agent). and due to the words lenght, the newspaper Picture glitched out, making the whole thing unreadable..... still got a memento pic on my nokia :3

>loves the game >hates the always online You a good dude.

2006 was the year my mom bought my first PC. I remember her paying it off for almost three years. The first game I played was Hitman Blood Money and will always have a special place in my life because it comes from a time in my life where my mom sacrificed a lot to keep me in the house and away from the local drug addict teens. I am grateful today

29:20 what's crazy is that Absolution was my first game I ever played in the series, but it really felt fun to me. Granted at the time I wasn't as analytical as I am today so I can see all these awful points still, but I do remember having such a fun time. I'm not sure if I'd be nostalgia blind if I ever touch it again.

Episodic release of Hitman (2016) was demanded by Square Enix and not the decision of the studio.

The newspapers in blood money also hinted at future missions in the side stories.

Blood money was absolutely fantastic in my opinion. It was my first hitman game and I loved every bit of it! And that ending is so damn nostalgic, they even made a reference to it in the recent hitman 2

Blood money was def one of my favorites. A major step up in terms of overall graphics. Beautiful artistic design.It felt sleek, sexy, but still gritty & raw. That angels & devils party stage. Absolute mastery. I did miss the classical music & European feel in Absolution. An unwelcome departure. Glad it's back on track.

Ave Maria will be my one way ticket to nostalgia land. I loved Blood Money and still do.

"Agent 47 isn't very resilient" *Takes a rifle round to the back of the head like a tank and keeps going despite having a bullet probably wedged in his frontal lobe*

Hitman Absolution was the first Hitman game I ever played. I remember having a blast the entire playthrough(and every playthrough after that). of course, I also remember having the most Fun on the more Sandboxy levels where your only main objective is to eliminate a target(s) and leave the scene. setting up the perfect Accidental kill, lining up a sniper shot, or just going guns blazing. always had fun. while the game certainly isnt perfect, I always have fun doing my Shenanigans and causing general *Chaos* (and being properly sneaky occasionally) regardless of if it's a sandbox level or linear level. it introduced and hooked me onto the series lol

My biggest gripe with the older games is the running = suspicious mechanic. "Hey that guy is running!? He must be a murderer, only murderers run!"

I think the reason why Hitman is still alive is because of 47’s HUGE pockets

8:01 when you flush the toilet and the water starts rising

I think the Hitman games starting from 2016 are the best ones in the series. I feel like they are not so dark like the first trilogy was, which is a negative in my eyes, but at the same time 47's comments while he blends in, his voice acting, movement, basically his whole character is just amazing. The tons of opportunities are brilliant, i played the Miami level through a whole day and i still didnt do everything i have planned. I think these games are the best way to continue what the og games were about, and im so happy that IO knows what people loved so much about the Hitman series.

oh hey Contracts is my favorite too, there's something about the atmosphere of that game, it feels so dark and alone, and I think its the best expression of how a heartless assassin like 47 probably feels inside

I never noticed how much this guy sounds like kermit

*Hitman 2: Silent Assassin* *Starts jogging for a split second in disguise* Security: STOP RIGHT THERE!

Silent Assain, and Blood money are my most favourite they give such an early 2000's nostalgic feeling. And the best part is Jesper Kyd's wonderful soundtrack I can never stop listening to!

I've never played a hitman apart from hitman silent assassin years ago. I'm excited to try the hitman trilogy.

I dreamed of this when I saw your Splinter Cell video. Really glad you're a fan of it.

My cousin had a copy of the demo of Silent Assassin, being the only one in my village to have kind of a... "computer." And he would occasionnally let me watch him playing that demo over and over again - which was the very first mission at the italian villa. Since then, I am in a serious relationship with the Hitman franchise.

What you said about contracts really resonates with me. Back in 06 and 07 it was probably my #1 played game. So many memorable levels. I especially liked the one where you were at that English estate at night and all the guards had hunting shotguns.

I just realized I’ve watched this for one hour, this super entertaining and I really liked your opinion. my personal favorite hitman game was blood money but I’ve found myself absolutely loving hitman 2016 especially the sapienza level

Jesper Kyd is so brilliant. Silent Assassin and Contracts had SUCH incredible atmosphere. Part of the reason I played those games dozens of times. God, I love this franchise.

5:25 "47 isn't particularly resilient", he says over footage of 47 being shot roughly seventy billion times. I know, I know, godmode was on, but I still found it funny.

I loved Hitman 2: Silent assassin, introduced me to the series and i loved the nailgun cheat with the rag-dolls. I never really got with Contracts, i played it but idk it never sat with me. Blood Money is probably my absolute favourite though, i loved that game so much. I loved the newspaper feature, depending on how well you played it got harder if you were guns blazing.

Thanks! Recently picked these up on GOG and had a blast. Contracts still remains my favorite.

Critical nobody: Tapping the run button repeatedly... Sticky Keys: OH I DONT THINK SO!

I can't wait for Hitman 3: Silent Assassin

This was extremely thorough and even handed. It was a pleasure to see the links between the two games I have played in the series so far: Hitman 2, back before I stopped playing videogames, and Hitman 3, this year, after I started playing videogames again. Videogames are amazing these days.

Contracts FTW! :D The best atmosphere, the best music, and some of the best missions. We need a remaster! Letting go of Jesper Kyd for the later games was criminal though, they feel soulless and dead without him.

59:08 Hitman 2 is better than Hitman 2 but I think Hitman 2 is the best

My favourite hit man mission is the one in the opera house in blood money where you get the kill by switching the pistols

Honestly I think the slideshow cutscenes gave the game a great personality

It's so shitty that you had to mute the c47 bit. That was one of my favourite bits. But overall, I loved this video.

When I was in primary school I was playing Hitman 2 SA and my friend was playing the first Splinter Cell and I remember us both arguing over what was the better stealth game.

My apologies, I've been drinking and this sounds to me like Kermit the Frog talking about Hitman. So I'm gonna keep imagining that, but I'm subscribing regardless because this was a great video.

Say about Blood Money what you want, but it had some great levels and I felt really immersed in the whole "you're an assassin just doing your job while some larger conspiracy is going on in the background" narrative. The newspaper, albeit largely pointless, was still a fun feature and I loved the cutscences. Even though it had some boring missions like the one on the steam boat, it was the first Hitman game that truly felt like a sandbox. The only real problem I have with BM is the fact that there are very few missions where you can properly use the sniper rifle.

I got absolution for free because it was installed on a hand-me-down Xbox I got, and it was my introduction to the series, and it blew me away how fun I thought it was. I’ve only played the newer Hitmans and absolution, and I gotta say as an introduction it did a damn fine job roping me into the series

Finally someone who appreciates how cool af Contracts is.

2:57 Jesus, the frame rate on that is like reading a book.

Awesome video! I appreciate all the hard work you've put into this. My first Hitman game was Contracts and since it was the first experience of its kind, I absolutely loved it. I've been following the series ever since. And I do agree that it has the best atmosphere (and soundrack). That mission in a night club with blood splattered all over the place, hanging meat hooks, dancing ladies in latex, the butcher room and Jabba the Hutt boss, oh man... Though, Hitman (2016) introduced the best balance of everything we love about the series and improved it in every way possible. It just turned out to be so GOOD. I really am glad that iOi decided to go back to the game's roots and delivered super smooth and polished Hitman experience.

I always wondered why contracts was mentioned after part 2 and you explained it perfectly. Blood Money was incredible then aboslution and beyond

I remember getting Hitman: Sniper years ago, when it was free on Google Play, and playing for hours on end waiting for a new map... I had found all the hidden secrets and thought there must have been more levels. BOY WAS I WRONG

"contracts plays how you think silent assassin played in your nostalgic memories" hahaha so true

Blood money is superior in detail imo How the guards handle orescort u when trespassing, The way the guards handle illegal items, weapons, frisking, briefcase, cctv, etc.. The npc reaction when u doing suspicious thing, ex: poisoning food When u reload, the weapon mags is visible and dropped realistically Bullet impact particles are so detailed, Npc are sometimes bleed to death slowly instead instant flop to the ground, While stealth attack is possible to be done quickly, sometimes npc struggle and fight to their last breath with some unique, more sadistic extended animation (in recent Hitman, i feel it is super quick to just stab someone and then they just weightlessly drop dead in a second) And i really love the blood trail when u drag a body and how npc actually react to the blood puddle

WHAT!? Blood Money was a perfect Hitman experience!

Not even exaggerating, I had to look away when that 1FPS Hitman footage played. Holy hell, my eyes.

who else is excited for hitman 3? I know this guy is!

A fantastic walk down memory lane, nicely played, really enjoyed this video

Overflowing the sinks on purpose for fun reminds me when I was a kid. That's why I love this series so much.

This is a video I never knew I needed, but I’m glad it’s here.

I love the "God forbid you run in front of anyone" lines

I'm amazed by the praise that you gave Hitman 2016. Hearing its the pinnacle of the series is really interesting, that's the game I started with

My favourite missions are A Dance With The Devil, for its open ended design along with interesting map interactivity, and The Farewell, for the great opportunities that the game puts over the table for you to execute. I like every single game, but oddly enough, my second and third favourite ones are Codename 47 and Absolution. My all time favourite one, is Blood Money. It's a little ankward how the formula was changed coming from the more stealth based gameplay showed in Contracts and Silent Assassin, but it was far more accesible and dynamic to play. Good video, you have really good explicative skills!

Alright, hear me out, "Reviewing EVERY Metal Gear Solid game"

The Berlin mission in Hitman 3 is one of the most interesting mission locations for a Hitman game, as it gives the proper setpiece that is Hitman's bread and butter: a party setting. This mission feels like nightclub scenes from movies like Mission Impossible, John Wick and many more, and the fact that you have to look for the targets instead of them being handed to you on the Instinct platter is so innovative and amazing!

Ive watched your reviewing every hitman 7 times, shows how amazing these vids are

One of my favourite videos of yours. Have rewatched it so many times!

I want to see IO take a poll on everyone’s favorite Hitman levels and then recreate them in Hitman 3. Then Hitman 3 would be the only Hitman game I’ll ever need haha.

Contracts is also my favourite title! The game was so dark and macabre, I remember so much from these missions!

I've played the Hitman series ever since playing the Codename : 47 demo from a PCGamer Demo Disc. Contracts was one of my favorites as well, but Blood Money's end scene was iconic at this point. I think the meat factory gimp party was the all time most memorable map for me. Great video, and the toilet "scene" made me laugh out loud. Subscribed!

Hitman World of Assassination trilogy is the closest thing to interactive movie we ever got. We are in the control of the main character, have one goal and we can do whatever the heck we want to achieve it.

A moment of silence for all those frames no longer with us during his Codename 47 playthrough

Too many missions worth mentioning but Blood Money was awesome simply because of the weapon customization and I agree that Contracts was severely underrated.

38:01 this reminds me of another stealth game released around those years

Haah, how I love this series and how I am totally watching this video for the 3rd time now. Classic stuff. So glad you made this ❤

“Stop naming your game sequels that are already things.” Xbox console names: 👀

After playing and doing stealth in so many games the "What did I do?!" became "But I didn't do anything!"

Hitman series has been one of those games that i really enjoy playing my first one was Contracts and after that oh my what a ride

Love the “review every” series. Thank you for the quality content.

This takes me back. Remember the days when you could hardly save and had to memorize the whole map and how it moved before you could do anything right? Ps2 gamers remember.

"I need to use the bathroom"

I still remember playing Hitman Contracts when I was younger. That Hotel level with the ghost in the mirror scared me so bad.

This is a very thoughtful review of the series! Thank you!

"This isn't a bad game" Cuts straight to Strip Club level looking at the stage I'm inclined to agree

Critical Nobody: the Hitman isn’t really that resilient *shows him getting shot a million times

I'm so glad you mentioned Hitman: Contracts as your favorite. Dude, I literally have spent half of my life overplaying that game over and over again. So fucking good!