6- Enjoy with your small family, whenever your parents are not in home. 7- Take sometime refreshment by outing with your small family in nearby places. 8- Be a lower class person with daily routine work and increase you wealth as much as possible.
Silent treatment is the biggest abuse. Not being accepted is the biggest abuse. Psychosomatic symptoms are going to be visible very soon, and level of suffocation is going to choke the entire relationship. Remedy- distance is the ONLY solution. Our life is a plain and simple mathematical calculation.
Lol i too want such in law jo mujhse baat bhi na kare😂😂😂...aur jo jyada involve bhi na ho...m a complete introvert Edit:-- i m living in a pg with two old ladies ! And they keep commenting on everything i do ....Puri zindagi me maa baap aur teachers se itni daant nahi padi jitni in dono se taunt aur comment sunne ko mil gaye mujhe ! I complained about this to my mom and she started teasing me that tumhari saas bhi aisi hi hogi!! And i am a complete introvert and i love keeping everything to myself! U can imagine my anxiety with these two ladies...that's the reason i want such Saas who is rich and keeps to herself ..i can take care of myself lol
Hi Priya why you listen nonsense of these two old ladies? Na tum unki khati ho ya unse koi lena dena hai ? Focus on making boundaries dear. Kabhi kabhar stern and battamij honi parti hai. Agar job kari ho to thora paisa jyada deke bhi single kamra/setup le lo jaha khud khana banake kha pao. Mai bhi introvert thi... ghar school me problem nahi huwe... but in college and first one two jobs bahut problem aye... thn ladai karna, muphat hona and apni liye stand lena job se sikh liya tabse kisiki himmat nahi hoti hai.
Moral of the story :Tukdoo pe palna hai, aur inhe ijjat bhi chaiye 🤣🤣🤣. Every things comes with cost, if you want freedom, then work hard.... Sir amazing case study,very impressive.. And great learning.
Honestly the guy doesn't have balls to go out and get a job something really common among privileged men today kyunki pehle toh mumma sab kar ke dein deti thi aur ab biwi. That's why a guy needs to be bold in his actions.
Here neha is just jealous. Neha and son in law doesn't deserve to live in that house. Only parents and their real children only deserve to enjoy riches becoz they have only contributed to bussiness. Not daughter in law and son in law. If neha want good lifestyle she should live in separate house
Me and my husband, we both are earning a good amount in Govt Sector... living with in laws ..we are contributing a good amount in household expenses..But still i am getting the same treatment from my in laws...
@@SSS-dn3uz just expecting a life full of respect and dignity and to be treated as living entity... Nothing more than that... Rest by the grace of God I myself am capable of manage on my own.
Rohit aur Neha lalsi hai bus.... dusroke paise pe aish karna hai... aur kuch nahi. Rohit ke maa-baap bahut samajhdar hai. Agar dhangse Rohit ji jaan lagake kaam karta to baap kyu ek dhangki salari nahi deta... but wo to kaamchor hai, usko bus free me chahiye... Neha bhi aishi...
Trillions of consultation, zillions of philosophy, infinite spirituality and religion....then also no solution for human beings..... sala the nain problem is we human. And there is no solution of it.... because we r sadistic and masochistic by nature.....
MAJ Your talk brought tears to my eyes, thank you for normalizing these emotions in a young daughter in law who does not understand what she is doing wrong. Sometimes when parents fall short, I find your videos very insightful. 🙏🏼
Sir , one more issue that middle class families are facing today. Many Mothers in middle class family want their daughter to progress in their work/job but want a daughter-in-law who is a "Home Maker" who will do "Sewa". They want that their daughter should not do any house hold work , but want a son who is not less than "sravan kumar" . Also , they want their son to respect her sister like she is an avatar of "Maa Laxmi" and also expect same from her daughter-in-law . Many Boys in middle class families are suffering due to this. If daughter is more successful then her brother(i.e. earning more) then it is a shame for the brother, if daughter is not successful then also brother has to traet her like "Maa Laxmi" also bother's wife should treat her like "Maa Laxmi". Please create a video on this , if you find this topic worthy of your time.
Hahaha..true.. jab bahu ka grahpravesh hota hai to use Laxmi mana jata hai .but humari middle class mein beti ki vidai ke baad bhi vahi Laxmi hai.. bahu ko respect nahi milti.. na use pucha jata na use kuch btaya jata
In Marathi, we have this joke. Girl's life is like Rani LaxmiBai Rani at parent's house Laxmi for the first couple of days of marriage Then Bai n just Bai 😂
I think its ideology . I earn more than my bro . But we are seen as same .I don't mistreat him .he is ofcourse younger n has his own pace . I think its just that parents should understand
But now it's slowly changing . I like Bengali womens status in their families . They have the guts to face anyone . Bengali and hindu Punjabi women are the most fearless women in India . Rest of the states women still have to improve on their condition in their families .
The newly married should stay alone for 1 or 2 years on their own and then they should take a call if they need to stay with parents, how ever rich you may be
Baap ka paisa Baap ka hota hai, apna paisa apna hota hai, isiliye kehte hai, na baap bada na bhaiya sabse bada Rupaiya! Value yourself, love yourself 🙂 Kick anyone out of your life who don't value you, chahe Naa Baap Kyu na ho, it doesn't mean you completely sever ties but you force your parents to respect you the right way and not cross boundaries, we are born alone and we are going to die alone, giving importance to self is the highest Idea Sabse bade toh Brahmand aur Bhagvan hai, Zinda raho unke dum par kyuki wahi time par rasta bana dete hai.
Even in middle class families, if son and bahu are living with parents, parents always have the upper hand in decision making.....during a quarrel, father in law always say its my home and i am the ultimate authority....its your choice whether you have to be financially independent and live with self respect or become a doormat
Same has happened with our family bahut ajeeb love marriage are not good according to their point of view. Ladke gulam ho jatai hai of arrange marriage lower middle class family se late hai taki control mai ho father in law narcissist hai jo sabse jayada wahi better hai judge kertai hai. Or apni tarife khud kertai hai 😂 log unse fir door bhi rehtai hai sare rishetadari ne sambandh se nahi rakhe hue hai.
Aisa hi hoga. Mere toh parents ke ghar mein bhi father and mother say that humara ghar hum bolenge kya karna. Ye saas sasur ka toh atleast different hota hai ghar.
They should leave that rich place ASAP and save their self respect. Living on other people money is like living on their mercy. You can never be happy caged in a palace which is not YOURS. A small apartment can give more peace and sense of belongingness. This couple, especially the bride is an unwelcomed bride, who is not accepted by the boy’s family, she’s lacking a sense of belongingness. It’s like a company doesn’t need any employee but it creates a post to oblige someone and hire him with huge obligation. Ehasaan ke tukdo per palne se accha nikal lo wahan se. She will suffer more, this is called silent abuse by narcissistic behaviour, & limiting contact and keeping distance and keeping away from toxicity is the best solution. This a case of frequency mismatch. Quit and run save your mental health before it takes away your physical health! उचित दूरी बनायें.
After 20 years from now, neha's in-laws will come to you for counselling with the prblm that our son and daughter- in-law has taken over family business and home. They will seek your advice. 😅
In this case - this couple should’ve made their own plans and enjoyed with 60k salary of the girl .. they don’t need to save a lot as they have enough property of parents. If let’s say some emergency comes like hospitalization etc - their family is there for support.. If they can’t have their friends over - they should go out for get togethers - in clubs etc. Husband will also have some say once they have a family and experience dining his dad’s business.. he can demand running salary.. this couple shd mind their own business .. honestly they are not paying rent, no expense of bills and taxes.. All they have to do is pay a credit card bill if theirs.. They should keep themselves happy by engaging in self care- gym and fun .. When parents will see that kids are in their own world - they will relax a little bit .. It takes some time and grind before they earn their value
Sir excellent topic This is really happening in the upper strata of society in almost all states of India They use their son only cos they need heir to the family. They bring bahu from low or middle class so that they can keep them under control because money is the real power in almost all areas of life . I have met many such families
In this situation the problem is with a girl's emotional intelligence level and expectations. She is worried becz her Sasu Maa never introduced her with her own friends (Saasu Maa's friend). She is worried becz her Sasu Maa not interact too much with her own mother, whenever her mother visits her home (Sasuraal). She feels worried when her Sasu Maa not take her preferences for breakfast, lunch and dinner. She shares her insecurities with her husband and husband also feels insecure becz now he is also emotionally connected with his newly wedded wife. But, She should understand there are some kind of personality differences between high achievers and low achievers. They are different types of personality types. Some people are type "A" personality and some are "B" personalities. Not all people can become successful entrepreneurs. Similarly, not all entrepreneurs can become successful actors. Rich people devote time strategically. They know very well where to invest their time, when to invest their time and how to invest their time very well. What if she got married in a lower middle class and middle class family?? She could get stuck into the following situation 1. Her middle class husband and in laws could take full control over her 60,000 salary. In 60,000 salary nowadays she cannot even fully enjoy Swift Dzire rides. Inflation is too high. 2. If she is in 9-5 job. She will be asked to cook food for all family members if she got married in middle class family. But, right now she enjoy meals without putting much efforts and getting tired. Wo middle class waale office hours ke baad khana bnawa kr hi khoon choos lete. 😅😅😅 (Sorry!! for the last sentence). 3. In a middle class family too she will be asked to cook as per the preferences of other family members. 2-3 dishes after her hectic work schedule to enjoy that spicy food which she is not getting right now. She should understand that rich people are health and diet conscious so they do not generally prefer spicy food. Even good restaurant (five stars or three stars) do not serve very spicy food. Spicy "very much chtpatta khana can be enjoyed only in average resturants". 4. Even in the middle class family no in- laws are going to give her complete freedom of eating, cooking, travel and allow visits of her mother at her place (in-laws place). 5. Middle class in-laws are also not going to give her complete control over their assets, even if that middle class family has Swift Dzire, becz middle class family mein bhi members 5 se jyada honge and full control to Swift Dzire pr tab bhi nhi milega ...tab bhi permission maangni pdegi 😅😅. Her husband is right. Her husband is not coward. It is the responsibility of the son to take care and stay with his parents in their old age. I only found her Saasu Maa wrong in one situation which is that her rich Saasu maa did not allow her friends (girl's friends) to visit her place (her Sasuraal). Only in this matter she should raise her voice. Other matters are associated with her emotional intelligence level only. She should feel lucky atleast her husband has shown concern about her problems. Her husband has born in rich family and have no attitudes and arrogance. Ho skta tha ki wo aapne parents ke baareee mein Jo itna kuch sungya wo middle class wala husband it na bhi ni sun pata.
Yes you are right , she still is living far better life in rich family than in a middle class family . In middle class families today in small cities women put conditions to not live with in laws due to in laws behaviour . But in rich business class families women have to live with in laws as their sons mostly work under his father's business or grandfather's business mostly in agrawal or Jain families . So sons there don't have the guts to leave their parents house . This happens mostly in rich business families . But not being able to use bmw , Mercedes cars is discrimination . That's like disrespect to daughter in law and son . But this wife can use time for other things like social media ,own business like fashion design ,jwellery design , youtube to earn sideby given that her mother in law don't put any restrictions on her going out . She should save money whatever she is getting from inlaws . She is already from middle class .so she could easily save and invest that money on skills and different business instead of complaining .her husband could only either leave the family or work like earlier under his father
Very true scenario ..in our own friend circle , one gal was married into a super rich delhi family..gal's parents were served tea in silverware ..all wedding expenses done by guy's side.Same bungalow , cars and chefs to cook food but the problem was loneliness the girl felt..they were not living like a middle class family who eat together sleep together.The guy ran a nightclub and was always out in the night and it was normal to sleep around for him .Finally they got separated
Sir, please do a session on girls getting married into a poor family with a golden boy raised by a narcissistic mother and sister and challenges faced by her. What should be the compatible financial standing between the two families.
When son is rich and parents not having any assets then another problem arises. They want to keep the son under their control and not allow bahu to have any power. If live separately then also they will create mischief. They will call the son over and fill him with toxic ideas about his bahu and things come to a very bad realationship between husband and wife. So what is the solution?
Rich ghar main paida hoke ghadho wala dimag hai ladke may or ye bahu bhi unnecessary drama create kar rahi hai. Khud ke dum ek ghar kharid ke dekho body ki sara ghamand dheela ho jayega. Dimag se ekdum garbage 🗑️. Ab ye bahu dekho kaise aisi ki teisi karti hai ladke ki jindgi ki
Couldn't stop myself from watching this video twice. One of the most intelligent counselors I've ever seen before. Your suggestions are eye opening. Hats off to you brother.
In my community, a rich girl - her father has business literally worth 1500-2000 crore married a guy earning around 1-1.5 lacs/month so it's not exactly a middle class but it was still a downgrade in lifestyle for her. They have a baby girl. Girl divorced him after 2 years because of lifestyle were not matching. Girl's father paid him 14 crore for smooth divorce proceedings lol.
It is very common ! Guys keep appeasing their parents and girls get suffocated ! Sons of rich fathers ve no say in the house because they are not contributing much !
The very fact that they married off their son to a middle class girl is telling. Why? They could have found someone rich ar atleast more affluent. Why not? Because there is something wrong with the guy. He may be drug addict/has some affair/other bad habits/dumb/impotent/handicapped/bipolar/criminal..... many possibilities. Something they do not want to talk about. They just ignore the bahu and brush the problem under the carpet. I have seen three such cases and all three ended in divorce becasue the guy had some serious issues hidden at the time of marriage. The girls parents got blinded by the money and did not do their due diligence wrt the guy.
Moral of the story - Shadi vivah karni hai toh apni barabariwalo mein hi karo varna mat karo. Factors to be taken into consideration while getting married - Caste, religion, social status, economic status, language, culture, food habits, city, state and origin.
Even worse scenario, where son contented with his situation, why he would leave his comforts and बेलो पापङ in बाहर की दुनिया। only bahu suffers who has self esteem.
Khaana banana nhi ghr ka koi kaam krna nhi alag rhna nhi pti ko ungali krni hai ki kuch bol ma ko Ghar bula kr biching or krni hai kyonki phone pr km hoti hai saare esho aaram muft main chahiye apane aap ko unki society ke according bdlna nhi bangle main rhna hai kyuki self respect hai nhi or gye bhi kis consultant ke pass hain ....😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Sir ne unhi ki......
MAG... very true case, happening a lot in upper middle class. Isme sab Rohit ko kasurwar, lalchi aur lazy bata rahe , but thinking again agar koi ladka apne maa baap ka sukh bhog raha hain toh wat is wrong , just like nepotism. Rohit should establish a strong place in his father comapny, demand for equity or salary if not agreed by parents then leave the house. Considering him 27-28years he will automatically learn all duniyadari once away from ghar ka comfort.
Sir I think in general iska Ulta hota hai,aaj ke Zama e me. In my opinion koi ameer family green Ghar ki ladki 2 cases me Lata hai ,ya to ladke me koi Kami hai ya for ameer parivar itne khulley vichar ka hai ki Hume to ladki achhi chahiye,humko kisi ke paise se koi MATLAB Nahi.But Maine Jo dekha hai ki green Ghar ki ladki ameer Ghar me aa kar zyada heroine ban jati hai ( Punjabi me kehte hai paat jati hai) qnki usne paisa Naya naya Dekha hota hai . Aajkal kisi bahu bete ke sath koi aisa behaviour kar sakne ki himmat bhi kre,mere aaspass to dekhne me nahi AATA. Han pehle zamane me hota tha. Please someone comment if I am wrong. At least Punjab me to kahin nahi dekha
I’m married into a Punjabi family that come from punjab - I come from Delhi punjabi family/ jitni politics punjabi household mein hai - kahin nahin hai ! Equal status - Punjab ki joint family wale Ghar mein ek nuclear family ki ladki adjust nahi kar sakti .. She doesn’t know the tricks and games played by saas sasur together - and they have their beta in full control! Sir pls ispe video banao - when a nuclear family girl gets married into join family and can’t understand the politics being played
The girl should have given a thought, why they wanted a middle class d-i-l instead of one from a comparable class. Obviously the in laws knew there were issues with their son. So they got a dil who can not demand equal status. If it were middle class parents with a good-for-nothing son, they probably would have gone for a capable but poorer girl.
I am working lady, my FIL had taken my bank passbook saying he will get passbook entry every now and then as I was not able to go to the bank. Finally I realised that he had taken it for monitoring my transactions 😕
@@professorbabaji9540 everything comes with a price if they want luxury then she will make some adjustments and do work to increase value in the eyes of her mother, and father-in-law to get attention if they marry a middle-class boy similar to her background even if he is an independent and earning independent income that life comes also with a price then she will do some work to balance and support each other and one thing she will get that she won't get the same treatment right now she is suffering from
@@priyankapattanaik5414 you also know maximum Indian's are not Ambani.. ground level pe dekho .. tum Ambani Elonmusk adani Ratan Tata Mahindra......... Ensbko dekh ke kya kroge tum khud Ambani ke pair ki dhool nhi hoge 😂😂 aur naam le rhe ho uska..
My personal take away - Money is store of efforts. The parents in this case have put in efforts and become rich. They are treating son as they have always done, even he didn’t mind asking for anything when he was single. Now with bahu in picture she is controlling son like all wives do. However her husband doesn’t own anything, so she can’t get what she wants. The parents were very wise to have their own life. It’s actually the ego of bahu. If she wants to enjoy in laws wealth she has to put in effort to get close to mother in law, because remember money is store of efforts.
Wow 🎉 commendable Sir 👏👏 In my life I saw two same cases with one of the woman very close to me. I am a married woman & we are living separately on our own expenses. You can’t expect from anyone to feed you. Be Independent. Marriage is a real thing not a fairy tale ❤
Humare aas pas bhut se aise families hain jinhone khud kbhi beti ko 1000 ka suit ni leke diya hoga lakin sasural wale chahiye rich , bda parivar or us parivar me chahe beti ko zehar khane k paise na mile
Correct, in my relatives a new bahu from rich family has come paid lakhs of rupees as dowry but she does not interact with anyone and drives her own car doesn't allow his inlaw family or husband to drive it and doesn't greet anyone on birthday or anniversary. But still she is the apple of her mother in law eyes.
It is possible in today's time but not possible ki parents bete bahu ke sath aisa kar sakey, vo bhi aaj ke zamane me. Itni shareef aajkal koi neha nahi hoti
@@neelamaggarwal4053 the problem in case study different I think. There sasuraal is not doing anything bad .... only problem is middle class thinking and living and enjoyments, which are altogether different from the rich class.
You need to make your own empire and show them your worth leave the house and prove it that you can lead a good life even without them that’s a reply u should give to them and this will turn the tables.
Every girl has an ideal in laws home in their head but reality is never ideal so after a point you cant cry over it either you accept and stay happy what ever you get in ur in laws house or if you can’t accept you have to move out build your own nest these are the only two options that you have. If you are a working girl you have the freedom to make a choice that suits you. Once you have a baby you call the shots as things might get worse during pregnancy for you.
Beta aur Bahu se luxury, Convenience aur perks ka laalach chhodte nahi banta.. Yahi sach hai.. Mehnat kuch karna nahi hai, par chahiye sab kuch hai.. Aisa thode hota hai..
Gents Please hear him out. But. Please refrain from getting one to one counselling. He charges 20,000 rupees with GST for one hour consultation. When you say the fees is much higher. He will redicile you saying “ you have money problems “ . Well, how would a man wanting to get counselling be expected to pay 20,000 rupees. This man can speak well which is pretty much available freely and common sense. Please go and get qualified people From practo who are available for 1000 - 2000 rupees and are not jack of all trades. This man is a Fake... Well, can hebpist a proper qualification for marital counselling .
This video I felt like my own story narrating as I have suffered with all the problems u detailed here This is really a big problem to think over it seriously for girls that marring in a big status family doesn’t mean that u will be happy
@@mad_in_2020 yes, 😅 absolutely! Hypocrisy at its best - us kids especially someone else’s daughters are from hell (according to parents). I’m tired of having to raise these childish elderly parents. If they’ve bhagwan ke roop then why do they keep on teaching the wrong things to their sons!?? Boggles my mind 🤯 😂
Really good insights shared. The case sounded like agar pareshani nahi ho to dhund lo. The things that they were seeking from the elders, agar vakae mey vo itna puchney lgtey betey bahu ko to vo chep horey hai bolengay ki they Don't leave us alone. Jaisey apney bataya ki 24-25 saal ka hai. Beta G is right now getting his skin in the game of his father's business, to jab tak he is actually not contributing in the business actively he will have to seek permissions. He will have to play the yes papa ok papa vala role. He is not leaving the family businessn for a reason, he wish to reign on that empire that his father built, so it's simple ki he will have to keep quiet and work till the business sustain due to his work ethics. Not a big deal. Jab risteydaar aye or bacho sey bolo ki dekhlo inko take care krlo, to vo ek alag pratadna bn jaati hai. I have seen same instances where the bahu got annoyed ki usko saas key risteydaro ko dekhna prd ra hai. Ye case to gajabey hai. Saari pratadna dimmag mey hai is case mey.
V true.... Hamarii bahu raani ko khushiyaan hii bardaast nahi hui...Logon ne kahaa ki aankhe chundhiyaa gayiin😂..Hum dar kar kuch nahi bolte.... Aur ethically bhi... But wo hii ulta taanaa maarti hai.... Floor bhi alag diyaa huaa hai... Kitchen bhi....fullly furnished Taaki bacche khush rahen.... Jab man kare kuch banaa saken...bacchon ko .koi pareshaani n ho....Neeche bhi master kitchen hai.... Beta khud job karta hai.... Husband kaa alag kaam hai... Ghar kaa maalik banaa diyaa....Par fir bhi rona hai😂 Hamse aisaa behave huaa... Jaise hum naukar hain... Par hum baache kaa mooh dekhkar chup😅
Wow...very interesting topic...the message of this case study is never marry a guy whose financial status or family status is much more than you..its better to Marry a guy who is equal to your financial staus.. otherwise compatibility issues may come..thank you for sharing this case study
3- Earn money make asset of your own like home, shop, land etc. 4- Involve your partner in your business problem or job problem for batter solution and ideas. 5- Ignore every irritating talks, kalesh & gossips of partners and own family.
The rich son sounds like a low self-esteemed dependent person, not used to being independent or having own self drive. Because that is is how he was raised, with a silver spoon in the mouth. Nobody's fault. But one who is unhappy should take the necessary steps to solve the situation or make peace with the existing situation. My free of charge advice.
Is case me jb koi bahu pe shyan nhi de rha to wo bhi dhyan na de wo apna alag circle bna le ki meri frnds aa rhi h ya me ja rhi hu gadi nikalo jaha gye ho waise ho jao
The nature of the mind is to look for problem. All the above are positive points but this lady "Neha" is taking it negatively. Even if life gets easy for sombody , people get bored.
100% Same as my case. But I left rice business not home. i did job in my friend factory and started my business in 2019. before that I was evicted by my family in 2010. I was in Siliguri did part time job of accounting and Tea selling business (2010-18) as a hawker cum retail exporter.
Awesome 😃❤️👍. Self respect is more important than anything in life . A sensible responsible married man should make it a point that he should earn his bread and butter on his own terms and not depend on his father income for survival . 😊👍😃❤️
I always say that Indian society needs to shift from socialistic to individual-istic. Apna khaao kamaao khush raho. Pehle ka time alag tha, ab alag hai.
100% true. Always get married in equal status, and the reality is you should give importance to education, character and his/her talent to come up in life.
Here guys should be independent or he should ask his part of salary. Rich class ko dekhkar shadi kiya tho khushi hogi yeh zaroori nahi. Thanks for sharing such a case study sirji 😍👌👌👌👌👌🙏👍
Present parents are not dependent upon their children because they are still young. They deserve to live the way they want to. Especially when they are not expecting any financial support from their children. Also it’s not the fault of the newly weds because they have watched Bollywood movies where the family is super rich and still they spend a lot of time with each. Where as in reality everyone has their own life. We have not taught our children to deal with different situations. It requires a lot of courage to deal the right way. Leaving the house is not a solution. It’s okay if the girl and her parents chose the boy because of financial stability in the family but the question is that do you now want to use the better car to show off or you want to use it to treat yourself? If you want to treat yourself you will not mind asking to use it but if you want to show off then you will ask for it as your right which is wrong because the car belongs to them.
Thanks for sharing this real life case study Sir. It should be an eye-opener for the middle class parents of girls, who start drooling over dowry less proposals from rich parties, and think because their daughter is very beautiful and virtutous, she deserves a rich sasuraal and will be very happy there. Middle class people mostly forget that their is no happiness without self-respect.
@Nerisa Lobo I don't think he means that. I think by dowryless he wants to( I hope so🤔) conveys that middle class parents gt lured by such proposals from rich families where they feel its a win win situation as they wil not have to pay dowry yet their daughter will enjoy the luxuries in a wealthy family. However this is not always true and cannot guarantee a girl's happiness.i too am strictly against dowry.
@@shweta703 I really think he means to talk about dowry less proposals in the point of view of the girl's side who are looking for proposals without dowry which is a good thing. But more than that they are tempted by the wealth of the family. So.. as he explained they are looking for a win win situation. In a way they are wrong in seeking the wealth of the groom and not his virtues, sort of dowry situation again.
First of all self respect comes from being right and doing the right decisions, secondly why not to be self employed or independent enough so that even if you are living with your parents, you got some solid self respect cause you know how to put yourself up every single time when you have fallen. I’ve seen many young couples living with their parents happily who do side business as well as handles their family business. Lastly these those people are very rare and to mention, they haven’t taken any dowries, but have purchased or driving their OWN cars.
My school friend got married quite early into a wealthy family. Her mother in law would keep records of everything. She would buy her dresses and jewellery but my friend or her husband didn’t have their own money. After 5 years my friend started her business and now she’s earning at least a 60-70k per month.
@@SCMtextiles I mean she held all the money so both of them always felt financially dependent on her. Even after putting so much efforts into the businesd
I'm ready to live with husband's family for one year to make a bond and I want him to do the same, bc if bahu can live in sasural then jamai can also live in his sasural...but then I also wish that we want separate home after 1yr so that me and him can live together and be independent. My parents don't have any problem of me living separately, and I expect his parents should allow this. I also don't have problem if my husband is mama's boy, but I expect his mama not to be immature and try to manipulate him, she needs to understand ek baar kamane lage means that individual is independent family wise and financially wise. And sasur ji immature hai to he needs to understand world doesn't revolve around you. I also don't have problem if his or mine parent are constantly comming in our house to meet us, but I don't want then to unnecessary to meddle in my marriage and give unwanted guidances, and n maine apni family ke muh pe bola hai ki need ke time ham bolenge and they have np. Same thing I want this with my expected husband's family. I'm not interested in how rich he is bc I can also earn when I will join job in future so we'll be on same level, but I want his family to me mentally and emotionally mature. Bc there are cases where children are more mature than parent, but influenced undert their narcissistic pattern. I'm saying this by my experience. And also agar mere parents ne mere husband ka insult kiya to I will call them out, so hence I expect this same thing from my husband if his parents tried to insult me and he should call them out....I cannot change the society's backward thinking but I can change myself, and bc one day mai bhi saas banungi na, and I won't be having any problems if my child wants to live separately.
Great. But Patriarchy is problem. Women is just used as a disposable to keep the Patriarchal Lineage running. Instead, if men start moving in with his in-laws there wud be no problem in sewa of old parents. Sons cant do seea of parents themselves and Daughters wont have problem in serving parents.
Simple, Paisa baap ka, baap ki marzi. My Life is same except bmw ki jagah brezza dzire aur 1000 sq ft ka L type east facing park facing villa(around 40Lpa household of ours). I'm a Gp B govt officer, wife is govt clerk and father is high class Govt officer. jab milega tab milega, demand kaise. Ladki Wale ya toh aukaat anusaar rishta kare, warna lalachi banke phele phir sant kabir waale morals ki expectations na rakhe, jhele.
Thats why i like western upbringing of children . There even chikdren of billionaires have to make their own identity and they dont live in bunglows with their parents.children after 22-25 yrs of age try to build their own career
Every word you said are true for upper middle class family in metro cities it is our Indian mentality money can't give you happiness but money is very essential to survive in the world
