ROGUE'S GALLERY | Animal Crossing: New Horizons Song! 

LYRICS: I may not look it, but I went to an art school y’know And I stole like, 8 tubes of acrylic before I tripped the alarm Anywho... What can I do for ya pal? You look like a fine, upstanding island representative The kind to understand an enterprise when he’s presented with Access to a wonderland of fine authentic decoratives Accept that there’s just a chance you might detect they’re edited It’s nothing underhanded, why it’s simple etiquette Someone’s gotta lose or else a price is not competitive I may be discredited but you need some art exhibits And I’m the only guy upon this island who is selling it Got a little bit of post-impressionism neoclassical surrealism art nouveau But if you hit me with a host of questions, quizzing, be all asking if it's real? Well it's hard to know But it probably is. Would I lie to you? After all we're cousins! I've decided! Ooh! You want a statue? I got a whole load in this old boat If they don't go then the hull might smash through Satisfaction guaranteed No retractions, no receipts Refund laws may stand on land But not transactions planned at sea So if you’ve a gallery Lacking in a masterpiece Head down to the beach I wouldn’t cheat ya pal, we’re family You want the Venus De Milo for Nook Miles? Oh please Think a Donatello’s gonna fall out of an oak tree? Think another barge is gonna barge in, back end of your garden With a better bargain? There won’t be. Got a sweet deal on a real Michelangelo Go to a guy in a van for my Van Goghs Can't be picky when you're picking a Picasso Doesn't even matter when you're painting where your hand goes Screw your turnips I can turn a profit taking turns At taking Turners and turning them to takings - Earning Paper from discerning patrons No returns or trade-ins All these bargains I got for yous Here's a Lautrec that I'd hate Toulouse Buy it! You ain’t got all day to peruse Try it and I’ll make you pay per the view You haven't got the money for a Manet or Matisse But I probably got a Monet, you can have it on the cheap I got Millet by the million, it’s more than I can keep So you really better buy ‘em or I’ll toss ‘em in the deep You bought your Hieronymus Bosch outright? Gosh, how nice. - Want advice? You coulda bought a lotta Botticellis From the fella at the jetty for a knock-down price Kandinsky? Can-do-ski! Got a line on a fine one back in New Leaf Got a whole back room of own-brand Rembrandts Here’s a Vermeer! (Don’t look at the jewellery) All the greatest artists ever known Sailing round your archipelago Who needs authentication when there’s a saving? Owl’s on his way? Then I’d better go HOO! What! Upon close examination, of this painting I have grave news to share with you… This work of art…. Is a FAKE! What kind of wretched SCOUNDREL would commit such fraudulent forgery to canvas!? Satisfaction guaranteed No retractions, no reciepts Refund laws may stand on land But not transactions planned at sea So if you’ve a gallery Lacking in a masterpiece Head down to the beach I wouldn’t cheat ya’ pal, we’re family Can’t afford all the money I charge? Forgery? Nah it’s a loving homage Felon I’m not, I’m a renaissance fox Honestly only a little at large So don’t be frugal, buy that Bruegel I got Degas for days Cézannes in season Sure, that Seurat would look great at your place ‘Cuz I got a lotta costs to offset Spent a lotta dollar on that Bob Ross box set So any members of the management Might have a happy little accident if they object To my entrepreneurial oeuvre Largely consisting of raiding the Louvre Taking the paintings and tracing the loot Then passing the savings directly to you Often my copies are just so convincing I’ll Quite accidentally sell the original Though letting residents purchase the evidence Saves me from shredding ‘em, plus they’re the criminal Say I’m a fake and it hurts Say I’m just after a way to your purse Say that to my face? You’ll save on the hearse You don’t need a wake for a Damien Hirst So if your podunk little home wants cultural acclaim There’s just one choice of vendor, friend and Crazy Redd’s the name But if you are dissatisfied and someone gets the blame You can canvas all my customers, they’ll tell ya I was framed!

"A londoner rapping about art history with a new jersey accent as an homage to a japanese game about talking animals" is not the sort of thing i'd ever think i'd see... and yet here we are

This is the hardest you’ve gone on any rap

Each Animal Crossing character according to the songs Tom Nook: A money hungry evil businessman who has basically created a puppet government. Redd: A scammer behind a black market of art traffic (and apparently also behind murders). Blathers: Blathers

So near as I can tell Redd's modus operandi is: 1. Steal renowned masterpieces from museums and try not to let that infamous lady in red from that other game series beat him to the punch. 2. Use the original as a base to print out endless forgeries accurate to the finest detail (mostly). 3. Get a little too enthusiastic selling them in international waters and occasionally sell the stolen art instead of the forgeries, but who cares now that the detectives from ACME are hunting that gullible customer instead.

“How big’s ya mailbox?” Best line.

How the art style represents the characters Nook:(popsicle stick) The fakest of the bunch,which is in line with his capitalist persona. Blathers:(standard animation) The most respected out of them all. Also,the oldest. Redd:(live action) The most realistic (it being live action) but it also quite fake (clearly not an animal)

At this point, you're gonna make Zipper an actual serial killer.

As an art student this is now my theme tune that plays when I enter a room.

Have I every played Animal Crossing? No. Do I play these songs on repeat every day? Yes.

What does the fox say? "I wouldn't cheat ya pal, we're family."

Animal Crossing: *Exists* The Stupendium: It's free real estate.

I still come back to these Animal Crossing songs now and then. The production is just so good

Redd: *breathes* Tom Nook: so theres been a containment breach edit: i hate the fact that you people have made a shitpost my most liked comment why have any of you done this-

If they ever make an official English dub of the Animal Crossing movie, you'll be hired for Redd, Blathers, and Tom Nook on the spot.

He nailed Redds voice. This is exactly how he'd talk!

Ok but can we acknowledge the fact that he's so incredible at art forgery that even he can't recognize his copies as fakes sometimes? If he decided to turn to an honest living, Redd could be one of the most talented and versatile artists in the whole world of animal crossing

Please, the search for the stupendium is starting to get desperate. Last we saw he was heading towards this island, and then some fox put a bag on his head and took him into a van. The fox is a known art thief, so it makes sense that the musician was kidnapped. Please, his family cares about him and Dan Bull needs a nemesis.

I just love how the “we’re family” bit goes from a sort of carefree, kindly tone to a more sinister, shifty one later on in the song. Plus all the artist puns are top notch! You’ve done it again, I’m sure to listen to this on repeat!

"I've got like two dozen genu-wine Mona Lisas comin' in at 3, and my clocks keep meltin', so I have no idea what time it is." ...who knew one of the best lines would be after the song?

Damn, I want to play the game that The Stupendium thinks Animal crossing is

Oof, as someone who had Art History focused on famous painters and sculptors, that was pure pun porn... Thank you, Stupendium.

Can anyone see my cameo in this video? It's right under your nose

I really like this one, the mood is really fitting and the lyrics are on point ! This is clearly not a fake !

"You don't need a wake for a DAMIEN HIRST" is probably the fiercest line I've heard in quite some time

I’m convinced you have a costume for every character that does and will exist

"How big's ya' mailbox?" Is a question i never thought i would be asked.

Okay but the "Kandinsky? Can-do-ski!" line is the best line period. Also I love the synthwave/90's advert aesthetic you have going on also Redd

blathers: extremely british accent (london?) tom nook: proper yorkshire accent redd: EYYY IM SELLIN’ PAINTIN’S OVER ‘ERE!

While Tom Nook's rap had the slow realization of just how horrible he could truly be. Red's is almost instantly straight into a whirlwind of sales pitches that you know are probably not going to do you any good, but you're not sure how safe you are turning him down face to face. Which is awesome! Great work Stups!

It's been 2 months and nobody's mentioned "The Master-piecer 3000" that shreds priceless pieces of art. He didn't have to name it, but he did.

Im calling it now, he had those ears before making this song...

Dude this is literally exactly how I imagine Redd’s voice. Then the Nook Line and Sinker video... THAT’S HOW IMAGINE TOM’S VOICE, TOO! THEN THERE’S THESE HALLOWED WINGS, *AAA-*

can we just appreciate what a fantastic threat "you don't need a hearse for a Damien Hirst" is? the line's just chilling

Tom Nook: runs an oppressive society Blathers: Tried to run a zoo in a world of animals Redd: Kills people and robs stuff So yeah... your animal crossing universe is dark

Everyone: So how many Animal Crossing songs are you gonna make? The Stupendium: *Yes*

I didn’t expect a Crazy Redd rap to go so hard, but this is amazing. Also the “my clocks keep melting” bit at the end is hilarious

Player: “Man has anyone seen Pietro or Raymond? Cant find them anywhere...” Redd: 👁👁 “uh hey no need to ask such useless questions my buddy old pal my dearest chum, now, do ya want another Mona Lisa?”

YOOOOOOOO YOUR FLOW ON THIS ONE!!!!!! OMG! SO IMPRESSIVE!

I can't believe Stupendium had to steal hundreds of famous paintings to film this video. Such dedication!

Can't even begin to explain how good this is... Wow, man!

The Stupendium somehow has the ability to impersonate every character to have ever existed no matter who they are

I love how he's okay with theft, forgery and possibly murder but stealing a Bob Ross box-set is where he draws the line.

Things I've noted: These songs are so advanced in the vocab department but oh gosh they're so good, each of the ACNH songs are done in a different style (musically and that Nook, Line, and Sinker is done with the popsicle stick puppets, These Hallowed Wings was animated, and Rogue's Gallery done in live action) they're all just so distinct and awesome in their own way!

Not only did he create his own style of narrative on Redd but he also played the part extremely convincingly Good job loved the song, especially "kandinsky? Can-do-ski!" Both a great line and amazing delivery

I have no idea why but, out of all the great lines in this song "Don't be frugal, buy that Bruegel, I've got Degas for days" is the one that wormed its way into my brain and will now pop into my thoughts on a daily basis.

The Stupendium dressed as a fox threatening to turn me into a Damien-Hirst-style art piece is not something I thought I would see, let alone call one of the best video game songs I've ever heard.

When it comes to Stupendium’s videos: *SATISFACTION GUARANTEED*

Why is Crazy Redd's accent so satisfying?! It just hits all the right notes in my little Brit brain!

"Honestly only a little at large" Only the smallest of felonies with the tiniest chance of divine retribution.

Tom Nook: Monopoly Redd: Swindling the twin demons of capitalism

I spent so much time enjoying the wordplay and artist name puns that I completely failed to notice the threat to turn people into Damien Hirst artworks until it was actually pointed out to me. Well played.

I've wondered what you'd need that renaisance costume for... and after the green apple search you posted on twitter I was greatly confused about what would be coming next... But it all makes sense now

Oooooooh! This is a different kinda flow compared to what I'm used to with your work!! Im diggin it!! Also I love the way you recreated the masterpieces, and artist puns for dayz

“I went to art school you know. I stole like, 8 crates of acrylic before I tripped the alarm”

Man, this whole song was like I was looking out a window, watching and waiting, and then the sudden Damien Hirst reference came up behind me, snapped my neck, stole all my bells, and replaced all of my family photos with forgeries of the Mona Lisa. I love it.

What an amusingly sinister sequel to "Nook, Line and Sinker"! It's even one semitone up from Nook's song. Plus, it pulls out all the stops in presentation, especially with the live-action footage and costumes! What a fitting end to a musical trilogy!

I went to see a Kandinsky exhibition last year and the line "Kandinsky? Can-do-ski!" kept on playing in my head over and over again. Thanks Stupes

Stupendium's quarantine cut really sells the whole thieving fox aesthetic

What kind of wretched SCOUNDREL would commit a dislike

That opening joke... I was listening to this while in a library doing homework... It caught me off guard... I laughed loudly. Good joke. Love it.

“Here’s a Lautrec that I’d hate *Toulouse.”* *You are a master at puns, my friend. Amazing song.*

My goodness. The Animal Crossing Stupedollogy is finally complete. And it's a glorious masterpiece. Quality guaranteed,absolutely authentic,genuine fire. And we've got old favorites returning,as well ! Glad to see Tom Nook is as concerned about the islanders' safety and well-being as usual and that Blathers paid his loan (with not crickets in sight!) There's also a hecklot of totally real art exhibits that I'm sure you actually rented from a very real museum to ensure authenticity. Also,after all those crooked businessmen you've brought to life,it would've been nice if you made a more street-level crook,say? But there ain't no crook 'round this turf. No sir. Just honest-as-ever Crazy Redd. That just the truth,punk. Now ah gotta go. Nothing suspicious,just business. Sorry,I just love expressing myself in English and your songs are always great at reminding me why I love this language ⭐🤩👍

Stupendium could voice Tom, Blathers, and Redd in an animal crossing animation and if you didn't know who he was you would not be able to tell it was the same person.

I can’t say I expected this or knew that I wanted this, but I can sure as hell say I enjoyed it

Stupendium: "I've done a lot of heavy character work and on occasion I've gotten real rappy but I’ve never really tried doing both at once." The second verse of "The West Was One":

2:34 Blathers what are you talking about that is obviously the Mona Lisa

"Refund actions may stand on land, but not transactions planned at sea." Perfect.

This song is a genuine masterpiece.

Now that we've seen Stupes in a fox outfit, I think I can speak for most of us and say we need them in a Cosmo outfit.

Tom Nook: Capitalism is Correct with a hint of dictator. Blathers: Overall a wholesome song to Groove to and a fun beat. Crazy Redd: "It ain't Illegal if you're satisfied with the purchase, cousin."

If Crazy Redd ever goes on trial, the witness should play this song for the judge as evidence

Wow... These lyrics are genuinely better written than the majority of mainstream rap... 😳

While I personally prefer the animated characters, there’s no denying this is still just fantastic! The flow, the sinisterness, it all blends into something just fun to watch and listen to! Love your stuff man!

"Cuz I got a lotta costs to offset. I spent a lotta dollar on that Bob Ross boxset." Me when people ask why my commission prices are so high.

This is incredibly creative... also “How big’s ya mailbox?” Killed me.

The art may be fake, but the video is a genuine masterpiece. Trust me.

I'm normally not into rap, yet here I am. Coming back to your songs over and over and OVER AGAIN! Especially this one. Seriously, Stupes. Just found you not long ago and you really make me question my taste in music. Like. Really. Not just this song but EVERYTHING on your channel is just damn amazing (the channel trailer~). Thanks for doing what you are doing! You make a lot of people really happy, including me.

The way you spin these characters they are scarier than anything that FNAF offered up.

My god. Another hit song? It revolts me that you haven't at least reached 1 mil yet! Most catchy songs on youtube. Absolutely flawless again!

its 4 years old but i love how its set up like an ad from a sleazy car lot and the line "Satisfaction guaranteed No retractions, no receipts Refund laws may stand on land But not transactions planned at sea" is perfect

The name of the song alone makes it a _masterpiece_ and speaking of art pieces take a shot every time Stupendium flexes his artistry knowledge.

Stupendium Bob Ross is the best thing I’ve seen in a while On another note, the way you use the music, accents, rhythm, and lyrics to expand on the personality of every character is beyond cool, and that’s an understatement.

2:39 “oh dat H U W R T S”

Just like Redd, you've swindled us again! Surely an animal crossing song can't GENUINELY be THIS GOOD!

"Also, it's a full-on rap number. In the past I've done a lot of heavy character work and on occasion I've gotten real rappy but I’ve never really tried doing both at once. So this was me trying to do as many interesting flows whilst staying in character. Did I succeed?" Yes cousin, you always mange to pull off what ever you attempt, you succeed with flying marks. Have a good day Stupendium. (RU-vid was late on notifying me about this work of art.)

Me watching this for the 5th time and I'm just now noticed 4:04 there was a pun "framed"

Satisfaction guaranteed? Sounds about right for this song.

Nintendo: *Releases Animal Crossing New Horizons* Stupendium: I can milk you

Eminem: i am a rap god Stupendium: hold my cardboard fox

I keep rewatching it, your production values are just insane. It's not just how well you do the editing, it's just.. The humor present in every detail. It's blatant these are labors of love, and it's why they're always so amazing.

The rap flows so smoothly that if you cut the words out, the beat wouldn't alter any. It doesn't have to hesitate or pause on syllables, it just washes over them like the ocean and the last customer who cried forgery. ...have I said too much?

That "How big's ya mailbox?" made me laugh harder than I should have XD

I didn’t like raps, but you just changed my mind on that.

The amount of production that goes into these videos are insane. Every song you’ve made hasn’t disappointed.

I watch this video every time Redd comes back to my island.

Redd: Hey cous- Tom Nook and Blathers getting ready to bash his knee caps: So you have chosen.. *Death.*

Now we need a Tom Nook vs. Red. The evil money hungry real estate agent going head to head with silvered tongue art scammer. Let's just hope poor Isabelle doesn't get cought between that fight.

I have always found it simply astonishing how good of a lyricist this dude is

I love how you can hear a note of nook, line & sinker at the beginning