I loved the little news clip i saw yesterday that had a Ukrainian lady offering sunflower seeds to a Russian soldier. She told him to take them and keep them in in his pocket so that when he died they would grow into flowers where his dead body would lay. "Because you will die" Whoa, that's cold. 🌻🌻🌻
The Witch of Konotop is one of the most important work of the classic Ukrainian literature, written in 1833 by Hryhorii Kvitka-Osnovianenko. Since then "The witch of Konotop" is an archetype. So that woman wasn't joking at all. They are all witches there.
I lived in Madagascar with a witch... yeah I was doing anthropogical reseach, and it might sound nuts, but I am telling you that the witches were real. We had to shut the doors and pee into a bucket between 11pm and 2am because she was out.. the story goes that she wanders around at night, dancing on the tombs in the moonlight, and that if she sees you she will curse you and ride your back like a horse.... sure, crazy? So I thought. But nope. Anthropogical fieldwork takes a long fucking time... even my own research assistants from the city said the witch was real, they were scared, and don't be an idiot.. People distinguished the spirits and ancestors invoked during spirit possession from the witch. Alive and well and sort of in between. Not a joke!
My favourite thing Ive seen so far is the repainted roadsigs. They blanked out all the city/town names and replaced them with "The Hague". Fucking brilliant.
Me too I had a laugh laugh laugh and laugh again that was too goodlaughter is the best medicine that they were all going to get a good dose of healing laughter with this war. Spell war backwards and it's raw 🤓🤓🤓 sense of humor. Thank God we have Steven here in the Homeland it's all good 😂🤣😂🤣
I've had a horrible day until I heard that joke and just like you I couldn't stop laughing 🤣😂🤣 The whole bit went off good. And then the way JonB reacted!
One thing that has stood out throughout this tragedy is that in addition to being stalwart in their defiance of Russia, Ukrainians have maintained a wicked sense of humor. The Ukrainian government announcing that their citizens don't have to declare captured Russian tanks and military equipment for tax purposes is hilarious.
The problem the Rally had was that when a lot of the promised attendees _found out they were being paid in Rubles,_ they realised it wouldn't even cover the gas money.
Let's not humiliate Russian soldiers for surrendering. That is the most helpful and honorable thing one can do when sent into a completely meaningless and idiotic war under false pretenses. If they can't rebel and deny their orders on the spot, this is the next best thing.
I love, love, love people from Eastern Europe. I used to work with a large group of them and I can totally see them Googling how to make a molotov cocktail, cursing their enemies with ED and then turning around the feeding that same enemy when they are helpless. The people in that part of the world are so amazing and so underrated on the world stage.
I absolutely love that a russian surrendered and someone was like "Dude you need a sandwich. You wanna call your mom, tell her you're okay?" That's the most badass thing ever.
I think it's really good strategy, too. Might get a lot more soldiers to question their orders, especially because things aren't going well for them! Kill 'em with kindness, as they say!
I really wish all Ukranian’s treat them with kindness and don’t kill them. But sadly this is a war, and I guess not all would be nice with them, and Russians are famous for being double agents. I guess everybody is paranoid. Still I hope the best for surrender soldiers, some seem so young. This war is unfair for ukranians citizens and russians.
Most Russians consider Ukranians to be their brothers and sisters and the soldiers were not told it was an invasion. Obviously there are exceptions like the ones who killed a family in a car today near Kherson, I believe.
I just want to say a heartfelt thank you Stephen. I suffer from Autism and during the pandemic I fell into depression, something I still struggle with very much today. No matter how bad of a day I’ve had or how down I’m feeling, you always make me laugh and smile. The last few years have been very difficult and tough, but your show has helped me get through them and makes me feel better no matter how bad the news is. Thank you to you, your writers, and staff for always putting on such an awesome show. You really have a positive impact on the world.
Sherman how much did they pay you to say this BS, either that or u need to open your eyes for the first time, SC is a cabalist who is going to jail shortly, ya your idol behind bars getting his by big inmates giving it to him, and tell u little secret SC likes it up his rear end.....hahahahahahahah
tell your president to surrender ..... a president that tells there own people to use molotof cocktails againts military dosent care about your safety ... and how the f.... is AZOV part of ukranian military now? you know that AZOV is a neo nazi group dont you ? 0.o .... i'l tell you one thing .... you guys want to get in NATO .... i wish my country could get out ..... hope all is well with you and your family ,stay safe
@@asatechnics8363 Why surrender? So they can live under his rule? Why is he there in the 1st place WITH TANKS! Like I always said about some one bigger than me.. I may not win, but I'll definitely hurt ya. Sure, march in, ruin everything take everything and get a surrender... wow! Putin's wish list. You remember what that witch said, don't you?
Ugh!! Damn!! I shouldn't have watched "The A-Team" every episode back in the day. Why? If you don't hear the following in Mr. T's voice, you dont understand! "I pity the fools who still hear my voice in their head all these years later!! And I'm not getting on that plane!"
No it isn't, he's mocking a war. How would you feel about watching this if you were a Ukrainian? Colbert doesn't make jokes about the Holocaust, so why have nightly monologues about this war?
That was so heartwarming helping the soldier. These are just young boys and I don't look at them as empties. The Ukraine people are so kind to keep them safe. The woman only saw this young man as a boy fighting a war he wanted no part of.
I would never make the mistake of considering them "young boys". They are armed MEN who are soldiers of an invading army. If a strong chain of command were in place, and the situation much more favorable to the Russians, one of those "young boys" holding an AK-47 on you, and shouting out an interrogation would be perceived as military men, soldiers of an evil empire. Its obviously a humanitarian gesture that's good PR. Nothing would infuriate Putin more than this! That "young boy" unfortunately will be viewed by Putin and his cronies as a weak soldier and treat him to a mans size bullet. Authoritarians like Putin expect all to be the perfect soldier and this young man may become collateral damage.
@@daleleisenring4275 Putin want be there when these boys return. That is if they return. If the Ukraine people can treat their enemies with open arms than I can do the same. People suffer on both sides of the fence and who are we to say we're any better.
Nik Satt - Pretty sure sending captured soldiers back in pieces is against the Geneva Convention. Meanwhile, the only thing here that might be against it is the videos made and shared of the soldiers getting taken care of, and that’s a question of if civilians are covered under that rule.
It's not in This video, but there is footage of a Ukrainian woman who gives a soldier some sunflower seeds to put in his pocket, _"..so that, when he dies in the Ukraine, flowers will grow where he falls."_ That is f'kn hard-core. Another is where the farmer _tows away_ a tank that had been on his property with the tank driver running after it. Hilarious.
I just read an article about a Russian soldier who was killed in Ukraine. Before he died, he sent a text message to his mother: "Mama I'm in Ukraine. There is a real war raging here. I'm afraid. We are bombing all of the cities together, even targeting civilians. We were told that they would welcome us and they are falling under our armoured vehicles, throwing themselves under the wheels and not allowing us to pass. They call us fascists. Mama this is so hard." Knowing that his final message to his family was one of fear, and that he died for absolutely nothing... it just breaks my heart.
@Blair Tindall • The Ukrainian Ambassador to the United Nations read this message at the United Nations. His mother wanted to send him a parcel. Anyone who has ever received brownies or other goodies from home can relate.
@@rice83101 truth, no one wants to spend 20 years in Russian prison. Not to mention, they’re bringing back capital punishment. So a lot of soldiers are in fact victims. Not all of course. There are sick people everywhere. Some open fire at civilians that post no threat, some put the white flags pretending to surrender and make it a death trap for Ukrainian soldiers.
Captured Russian soldiers have reportedly said they were left in the dark until the last moment. They were told their manoeuvres near Ukraine were just an exercise, then got surprised by sudden orders to invade. It's no wonder their motivation and morale is low.
there prisoners of war, if things go bad and taking into account how corrupt and brutal ukraine is, theres a good chase theyll be executing some of those prisoners. Hows that for wholesome, wake up this isnt a game. Oh yeah whats this a small nuke? ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Oke_-kJg8pg.html
@@NathanCroucher LONG LIVE UKRAINE! GLORY AND VICTORY TO UKRAINE! May their light continue to be a beacon of democracy forevermore! GLORY TO HEROES! UKRAINE 🇺🇦 UKRAINE 🇺🇦 UKRAINE 🇺🇦 FOREVER! Down with Russia! Down with Belarus! DOWN WITH PUTIN THE PARIAH! The outcast, the liar, the killer, the war criminal, the monster! And down with ridiculous Russian bots! Edit to add down with Russian oil! Down with Russian banks! Down with Russian oligarchs! All praises for the Ukrainian people who’s character inspires the free world with their breathtaking and awesome courage. ❤️
@@NathanCroucher are those they same nukes they found in iraq?? the ones that didn't end up existing? I mean yeah, he might end up as a pow, but I think he might be better off in Ukraine than in Russia. Not only that, but after some quick research and I haven't been able to find anything that says Ukrainians are treating their pows badly, everything I can find says the opposite. I also refuse to believe that the current president the guy who refused to leave his country, the guy that made a video to calm his people and show them he was still in the country, and fought so hard for Russia not to invade his country is corrupt. You either have no idea what your talking about, are a russian bot, haven't done your own research, or are a troll.
I think the important thing we learned here is to avoid causing trouble in a Ukrainian town that has a 50 % witch population. That was a somewhat disconcerting curse.
Regarding the credit cards cutoffs, I'm reminded of a Yakov Smirnoff bit: "Instead of American Express they have Russian Express - 'don't leave home.'"
The Trucker Convoy organizers are upset that the Invasion in Ukraine is taking up a lot of media attention instead of them. Obviously the solution is for that is to drive their trucks in Ukraine!
"Every second woman in this village is a witch!" *proceeds to cast limp-dick curse on Russian military* Badass...though it is slightly concerning that there exists at least one village in Ukraine comprised inexplicably 50% of witches....
There was also the grandma that gave out some sunflower seeds to a Russian soldier and told him that she prayed the sunflowers would bloom from his corpse. Like holy crap! These people aren't holding their feelings back and I fucking love it
I know the invasion is a very serious topic and shouldn't be taken lightly, but something about 3:50 made me bust a gut laughing. I'm just imagining a Ukrainian talking with a tax consultant being like "I know I do not have to declare taxes for the armored troop carrier, but what about the main battle tank? Oh, I don't have to declare that either? Sweet!"
As an American half of whose family is from Ukraine, you don't mess with babas. My grandmother, rest her soul, was the sweetest woman who always had a pot of tea and a listening ear ready for those in need, but she would not tolerate anyone's bullshit.
I applaud the people of Ukraine. Especially the old grandmamas. I will never get cross with a Ukraine person for the rest of my life. I'll just say, "Yes, sir/ma'am/tiny sir/tiny ma'am."
That threat that woman made to the Russians about making it so they can't get it up sounds like something myself and my group of women online would say to guys who annoyed us. I loved it. 😂🤣😂🤣
There are two ways to do this: (1) The magic curse, which sometimes but rarely works through psychological intimidation; (2) The straight razor, which always works, and *cuts* the incidence of rape
@@Onikage55 probably some sort of govt assistance LOL funny thing is the trucker unions don't support the protests...the same protests that are resulting in factories being shut down and people who actually want to work are losing pay over these n@zi wannabes
Steve Cobert was in top form here. The defiance of the Ukrainian people is inspiring. Tax breaks on captured vehicles is priceless. Giving a Russian soldier a phone to call his mother is just brilliant. When this war ends I want to go to Ukraine and meet these people.
They can't put bubbles around their infrastructure .Putin's gonna whittle them down. It's gonna get a hell of a lot worse before it gets better and then what... their cities are being destroyed right now.
Could I have ever imagined that my native neighboring town Konotop will be on the show.. it's surreal.. I was born in a town just a couple of km away from there... #standwithUkraine
Yes you are right. Seeing what the russian regime does, it takes courqge tondissobey orders. But their life in russia is so bad, i’d defect for a democratic future too
Dude, I don't blame the Russian troops for abandoning Putin's ego war. In fact, I would say it's quite courageous of them to stand up to Putin and say 'no, this is an unjust war, and we will not fight it for you". They are more civilized than this anachronism, Putin.
They're empowering privateers to go after super-yachts? Holy hell, a place where one can finally hunt the rich. Yo-de-doh-de-doh-n-day-yo-de-doh-de-day-yo.
@@robertpearce4316 Who ever said all leftists hate guns? Oh wait, ignorant righties who completely miss the substance of arguments for gun control. Silly me!
You think the noise from truck rallies are bad?. Wait til The New World Order starts. You won't like it. Which is what the truckers were attempting to prevent. Forced mandates are medical rape
The very successful President of Ukraine is a professional comedian. It would be worth considering whether Stephen Colbert should run for US President in 2024. He would always be better than the other possible candidates mentioned so far, especially the peachy guy.
That Russian boy scout getting tea and biscuits... awww. you nice ladies rescuing that young fellow! This is why you don't let grannies and mothers stay behind in a war zone! They start cooking and the handing out cookies, and the young soldiers just don't what to do! How do you shoot a lady who's handing you a mug of SOUP? And a granny who has COOKIES?!
I mean, Trump did try to buy Greenland as President, didn't he? He had to be told he couldn't do it! So, yes, I wouldn't be surprised if there was an offer, even in jest. Edit: it was Greenland.
Putin loosing and remaining under sanctions means the money laundering business dries up, poor Trumpkin no more money to pump up his failing golf courses.
All this talk about seizing oligarchs property and accounts...I would love to hear the same about the off shore accounts of many politicians who are in governments around the world.
My dad did the same thing when he was a teen and a soldier for the Nazi army, when they were in Ukraine. He would always hang back, and disappear for a few hours, pretend to get lost, etc. Eventually he went awol.
Thanks Stephen for the shout out to fierce Ukrainian resistance and their denial of Putin’s easy victory.1877 tanks for tots was a great riff on the most annoying commercial on earth. Your monologue’s are getting even more brilliant in these times of crisis.
Resistance sure. But what nobody seems to mention is that Russia could leave the whole country a smoking hole in 15 minutes if they wanted to. Because they want a country and infrastructure to take over and rule when they're done they can't go in and be universally heavy handed. So obviously there are going to be times when they err on not using enough force
@@wr38621 Firstly, Russia is not that strong, as they says. Secondly, the are bombing cities. Kharkiv for example, is ruined and covered by dismembered bodies of civilians. You don't know what are you talking about, i live here. Also it seems they are out of troops, because they started mobilization in their country, when our army (зсу) is still on board.
butgurrl, Ukraine is is sinking.Follow DW and WOIN news stations.Biden talking about war crimes and Putin sent to The internationalcriminal court.Putin is ready to go but is bush Sr.bush Jr.obama clinton Tony Blair Sarkozy Albright Cheney Biden ready also to go face multiple war crime committed by them.I don't think soo.Ask Steve Colbert about this.And also ask Steve why America and NATO and it's allies not sending boots onthe ground in Ukraine.They know exactly what will happen.And also ask Steve, if America wakesup one morning and find out that Russia military forces in Cuba Mexico and Canada with thier nuclear weapons across your border?Hypocrites and double standard human being America.Sit down and think about this.Face facks you know have the internet smartphones do research.
I was shocked when the Ukrainian UN ambassador was reading screen shots from a dead Russian soldiers cell phone and how the he was confused because his commanders had said " they'd be greeted with open arms and welcomed." but he even acknowledged that they were firing rockets into residential areas and things were going sideways. It's sad because it appears to be an exchange between the soldier and his mother, it might be propaganda but that's really sad on so many levels if true.
@@tinaandro1178 theres no excuse for far more people than just Putin. Hope truth comes out and u ll curse Colbert and whole bigass group also with whole EU and NATO
It's such an odd thing but I'm literally obsessed with the random actions Stephen does when he's waiting for the audience to stop laughing - it's so endearing ❤️
'The Government can empower private individuals to legally seize foreign vessels' - I don't know, I think we just found the plot to the next 'Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Jack Sparrow's many times great grand daughter pulling together a crew to capture Russian oligarch yachts in the Caribbean unless they wanna have them elsewhere.
Are you lefty going to become a pirate. I would love to see this. What am I thinking you guys aren't tree huggers anymore. Open robber and burn cities is your game.
I remember when u guys were saying how sorry u felt for us w/ all our Rump troubles and then it came to you! Courtesy of the Kremlin, no doubt, cuz that's uh what they do best! And our last president was Putin's mini me. I was shakin' my head.... now ya know for reals how it feels when a small part of the poplace go awol and embarrass the rest. Now, we're in it together. Next target.. Mexico? idk. Oh , if I could end this guy, I would,. Like one Ukrainian mother stated... :"with her own hands!".
its so moving, humane and clever that the Ukrainian government has said any captured Russian soldiers can be released, but only if their mothers come to collect them. more motivation for the Russian soldiers to surrender
You say that... As tourists, we got lost on the way to the Air and Space museum, the Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center near Dulles Airport. We took a wrong turn and ended up at a checkpoint, some back entrance of the airport. I was under the impression we were far from the first idiots to arrive there by accident. The guards were very nice and pointed us in the right direction :)
Brilliant!! 😄🥰🥰🥰 Ukraine is offering Russian soldiers 5,000,000 Rubles (about $50,000) and a new life in Ukraine, if they give themselves up and say the word "Millions". How many lives could this potentially save? Both Russian and Ukrainian. I have been watching videos of Russian POWs consistently saying they didn't know they were going into Ukraine. They, these 18 to 24 tear old Conscripts mostly, were told they were simply going to be doing military exercises and drills near the border. Then suddenly their units were ordered into the meat grinder. They are young men with limited education and training and no will of their own to fight a war. They are being used as cannon fodder. Some of them are saying they don't know who to shoot at since the Ukrainians look just like Russians. A western news crew recently made the same mistake when they asked a group of soldiers if the Russians were close. The soldiers responded with "We're the Russians." The word needs to get out to the Russian soldiers! Make this go VIRAL!! Wherever you are getting your news, go in the comments section and tell them! Save Lives! This is not a joke! Russian soldiers must lay down their arms, surrender, and say the word "Millions!" and instead of dying or killing for Putin, they will get to start a new life with money in their pockets. 5,000,000 RUBLES!! 🥰🥰🥰
Glory to president Zelensky. Glory to Ukraine. Glory to the heroes. Remember that motivation to fight for freedom is more powerful than weapons and experience.
It was the biggest the best the finest group of people ever assembled at once and a man A very big mad came to me crying and said "can you help me find a bathroom I need to change my depends!!!😄😄😄
I can't find the will to laugh at the atrocities committed on the Ukrainian people. Please try to squeeze in ways people can help. More sanctions directly on oligarchs, seize the yachts & mansions.
The sanctions on the oligarchs is working. Not even 24 hrs after Biden made his speech, one of putin's cronies abramovich is selling Chelsea FC, the London soccer club he owns.
The point of this show isn't to help the Ukrainian people. It's more like a WWF-style pantomime, drawing the eye away from the lawmakers and corporatists and media lackeys who are making BANK off of this war.
@@robertpearce4316 dear boy don't you know, truth is stranger than fiction. But just think, the western banking system has frozen your money, you have payments to make, workers to pay and crazy taxes in the UK, plus people will boycott your team. Best to turn the team into cash and get out of sight.
The treatment of citizens of a country that did nothing but life there lives is unbelievable ‼️ A creature has been unleash, his vanity, By "puttin' on a show" of strengths but He has short comings. "Stephen" your the best at what U do. 🕶🎤 🙌 🤝
