Saying The Thing I've Been Too Afraid To Say 

Again, a very important and critical message to young people. Just like the Gabby Petito case, life is not what it appears to be on these social media forums. Domestic violence is never OK and should never be hidden!

it must’ve been hard to forgive him, but I’m glad you reminded us you want us to remember him as a good person.💙

As someone who went through an abusive relationship myself I would have never guessed you went through abuse...but that's exactly what happened to me everyone around me knew this guy and loved him and even some of my friends didn't believe me when i told them what happened...I felt like I lost everything! Thank you for being strong and sharing your story, even the hardest parts because there are women and men out there who truely need to hear this! ❤❤

We can only imagine how hard this is for you, but you are truly brave and the whole story is very important❤thank you

Can't imagine the bravery it took you to put this out here. But I admire you so greatly for doing so. And I hope you remember that you truly are helping, and will continue to help, so many people. You are an amazingly intelligent person which can be told through just watching your videos, and that says a lot. Keep doing what you do, I wish you nothing but wellness and love.

I’ve watched from the beginning and I promise to see the love and light in Landon while understanding the dark place he was in. I care so much for you and your family, you have truly helped me through so much that you wouldn’t be able to imagine. Hearing your story with depression and Landon’s as well, I have been building a healthier mindset as I was (and still sometimes am) in an extremely dark way of thinking. I thank you, I won’t be able to thank you enough.

As a recovering addict myself, you hit the nail on the head!! We are not ourselves under the influence! Sooo many addicts are amazing humans, but the drugs bring out a terrible dark and scary/dangerous side. I’m so proud of you for speaking up! So proud of you for seeing it for what it really is. I can only imagine how hard this is to talk about...for you personally and having to relive it, and also for fear of his loved ones seeing this and being hurt by it or not wanting to believe it. You are so wise, stay on this path girl! You are doing great!!❤️

As a survivor myself from someone who was on pills This hit home. No one speaks about the leaving or how to rebuild your life what a phenomenal human being you are Cameron. I’m an author myself, and wish you the best.

It’s crazy how similar our stories are and it makes me think about how many other stories might be just as similar.. hearing your story unfold through videos has helped me realize a lot of us go through these traumatic experiences and you would never know otherwise

It breaks my heart to know this. There’s so much brokenness in the world and good people do really bad things, even to people they love. I’m proud of you for speaking up and always using your platform for good. Love and hugs 🥰

Cam, I cannot wait to read your book. Over the past few months my friends and I have come together to help one of our best friends out of a DV situation. And as of late she finally got herself her own apartment with her kiddo. Your story is so important not only to yourself but to people like me and my friend because it proves we are never alone. Much love to you and the girls❤❤

I cannot wait to read your book. As someone who has been in a domestic abuse relationship, I look forward to reading this. I applaud you for your bravery in putting this part of your story out there, it is not easy, but it will help you in your recovery, and help others who are going through it. Sending love.

I’m sure this book is gonna help a lot of people. I truly hope and wish that you publish it. So proud of you❤️

The way you handled telling your story and honoring your husband and making people know the goodness of who Landon really was beneath his struggles while not lessening your own experience was quite telling of the person you are. You have a way with words to speak the truth. ♥️

I'm going through this RIGHT now. I lost my husband 2 weeks ago, today. But he was an addict. And I've been battling feeling guilty for how I'm grieving. I kept so much private to protect him. I stopped talking to everyone. Deleted my Facebook. So now it's hard, I'm sad and hurt that he's gone, but I have that feeling of being able to finally breathe again. It's so challenging. There's the feeling of relief that he's no longer hurting and he can't hurt me anymore, but the deep sadness that he didn't recover and become free on this side of heaven. Today I've been really really struggling with this, feeling alone, so this video came out at the perfect time.

You are so incredibly well spoken and respectful towards Landon. While this shocks me, you need to tell your story. So many people love you and care for you and I want you to know that we are here from you.

Been here since 2019, it breaks my heart for all the silent struggles you've been through. On the flip side you turned on that camera with a soft smile, pretending to be okay. You are such an amazing person Cam, you will always have me in your corner.

You’re a very strong young woman, I wish you nothin but the best life has to offer you

thank you, thank you for sharing your story. You're so brave for showing on this platform, which can be destructive, a delicate piece of you. I want to tell you that despite the toxic side of RU-vid, you are helping so many people by doing what you do. Im 21 years old too and i can't describe how powerful you are with your words to a girl your age that has/ has never lived what you went through, because your teaching so much, believe me. Unfortunately, there will always be people that have something hurtful or not appropriate to say, but trust me, what you doing here is all worth it.

I so appreciate your honesty Cam. I was in an abusive relationship with an addict too. I only stayed for as long as I did because I knew that he was actually a good person, who was just ill. It took a wise mentor saying straight out to me that I was being abused, for me to leave. I too am picking up the pieces of my life, trying to make sense of everything I went through. I too isolated myself and hid what I was going through because I didn’t want people to know about my split realities. No one would have believed what I was dealing with at home. I would often meet up with friends, having just left a raging maniac at home, and I would feel like I was separated from my friends reality. I can see now looking back that whether or not my husband was a good person, he was abusive, and I never deserved that treatment. If only someone would have helped me realise it sooner…

Cam you speak so eloquently and calmly, never guessed anything like that was going on, you are a strong woman and mama with so much trauma to deal with. You can do it… proud of you xx

As a DV survivor… I sincerely hope you put that book out. You’re so right, it happens way more than people think and it’s usually the person in your life you least expect it from. It may encourage others to get the help they need (The abuser or the victim!)

god, hearing this at 14 could have changed so much for me. thank you for sharing your story, it will save people.

My dad killed himself when I was 6. He was very mentally ill towards the end and my mom hid it. He was abusive towards her at the end, but she loved him and he loved her. As his daughter, knowing what he did, I still love him. It breaks my heart for my mom, but she has also shared the wonderful parts of who he was the majority of their 19 year marriage. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure this, especially at such a young age. ❤️

Camryn, you’re so unbelievably strong and inspiring. Your growth just becomes more and more evident in every video & it’s so heartwarming to see. my first relationship was a very toxic DV situation for nearly 5 years (14-19) and although our situations are a little different, they’re also really similar, & everything you said makes me feel so not alone & understood. Regardless of whether you go through with publishing your book or not, thank you so much for bringing more awareness to this situation. You’ve already helped many, just by sharing this with us.

Almost 2 years? This feels surreal... I am so sorry for you and your kids. Feel hugged 💛💛

We are all so proud of you Cam! It is so brave to come out with all of this🥰 you should not worry about people criticizing, people will always talk. Do what you think it's better😊 you are a smart woman. In my opinion, knowing the whole story would allow a better understanding to all the warning that some victims might ignore at the beginning of the relationship. As it is easier for someone who is out of that relationship to realize when were the first red flags as someone who is in that situation might not see them as that. You reflecting on the first warnings might help a lot of people who are currently going through it. Because the first step is recognizing the abuse to then know how to deal with it. Love you Cam

you are so strong cam, genuinely. you have helped so many people just by continuing to share your story. your girls are growing up with an amazing mother. people are always going to hate and have judgement no matter what you do but you have to keep going and know that there are people who are gonna be there for you and understand your story. you’re a gorgeous mama and amazing at everything you do.

Thank you for having the bravery to speak out on this. Those of us that have been in similar situations really feel heard and not alone. Thank you.

Cam, I have so much respect for you. Watching how you’ve grown over the last couple years is inspiring to say the least. Thank you for your candidness, your care, your vulnerability, for sharing your story. You are doing more good that you know.

You inspire me, I went through the same thing and it took my children from me but hearing your story made me realize that I have a calling to help people too, thank you my friend

As a DV survivor myself this couldn’t be more true! You are so strong! Just take it one day at a time. Sometimes a moment at a time! Love to you and your precious girls!

You are carrying his love and good qualities in the form of 2 little girls. Everyone thinks they’d know what they’d do until it actually happens. No matter how you tell your story your love and compassion for Landon will never be overshadowed❤️ I can’t wait to read your book.

Oh dear Cam. I didn't have the heart to tell you at the time, but I knew when you posted the video about Landon's death and struggles with addiction that there was more than you were letting on. You are absolutely right about how addiction changes people. It can be a literal Jekyll and Hyde transformation when you least expect it. I had a dear friend (who has now passed as well due to a defective heart) who struggled to escape her abuser, and she struggled with the consequences of PTSD. I am proud of you for revealing BOTH of your truths, and I hope the girls will have all their love and admiration for you when you are ready to publish your book

My mom went through the same thing with my step dad who was more then a dad then mine. And you and my mom and all the people who go through this are truly the most strong people i know ❤

So many times I thought of speaking about the DV I lived on this platform. Never ever actually went through it. From fear of criticism. I am glad that you have come forward for people living through it now, as well as people who went through it and just haven’t been able to speak about it like me. Thank you

I've got goosebumps! You're one of the most inspiring people out there! Much love from Austria! I've been following you for I think 4+ years.

your book will help so many people, and you should be so proud of yourself for sharing your story and making sure everyone remembers Landon for the amazing person he was. You’re truly incredible, there’s honestly no enough words to explain how brave and strong you’ve been since Landon passed away, and what you went through silently. The internet can be such a toxic place, strangers voicing their opinions and I can understand why you don’t and won’t want to share too much. But please know all of your subscribers, followers love you and support you❤️🥹

When you said “just because someone is showing signs of anger that doesn’t mean they’re gonna hurt you” and I get it and it has been hard for me as well. Those behaviors send me a flash back too. I completely understand; it has been months of therapy for me and still working on it

I’m 10 years older than you, Cam, and you are wise beyond your years, and you are someone I look up to! You’re so strong and I’m very proud of you ❤️ thank you Cam, for sharing this.

This sounds like my life. I cannot wait to read your book. I feel like I will relate so much to it and your story. I feel so alone but you speaking out really helps me mentally.

Camryn you're such a brave mama and woman. I love how you're coming out of your shell and sharing your story. 💚

Cam I relate to everything you were saying! I e gone through DV and I'm a survivor as well. I'm so proud of you for speaking up and sharing your story with us!! Sending you positive and healing vibes!

Been watching for years and am a DV survivor myself. This just truly goes to show you never know what someone is going through.

I am so sorry for the struggles you’ve had to endure Cam. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever seen. You get your point across so eloquently and are so mature in your line of thinking. I really admire you. I cannot wait to read your book and hear more of your truth. So much love to you. ❤️

from my own experience with abuse, loving and hating that person is the most difficult feeling to wrap your head around and the future is so blurry. i just want to say i am so proud of you and the way you're communicating your story . How you have broke through to the other side is really lovely to see :) love youuuuuu

Camryn, you are so inspiring. Holding accountability while also having grace and forgiveness is truly incredible. I really struggle holding both. I hope to inspire others in their recoveries just as you have done with me :) Thank you for sharing your story with the world-you are truly changing lives!!

Cam, I'm so proud of u for sharing ur story. That is not an easy thing to do. Im only a 15 year old girl who loves to watch ur videos and follow along on ur journey but you've been such a big inspiration in my life and I know you will continue to be. Thank you for making content for us, sharing ur adorable girls with us, and being huge inspiration. I love you so much! #Camily❤

You worded everything so well a very moving video thankyou for sharing your story cam

As someone who's been a victim, You hit the nail on the head with everything you have said. I been a silent viewer for years and to hear your story makes me feel better to know, I wasn't alone. Camryn; You are so brave and I commend you for sharing this hard and tragic story.

You are so admirable and inspirational for sharing your truth and the wisdom and grace you carry through all of this pain. Please continue being such a light and sharing your story.

Drugs/addiction can do such bad things to you, things you’d never see yourself ever doing when sober. So much love and support for you Cam

Thanks for sharing Camryn! You are amazing and you are so strong!! I am always so proud of you!! We as supporters will always be here to listen and watch you grow!

Cam the way you speak is just so comforting. I am also a survivor of DV and I watched you through out my relationship. I am so glad that you have found some kind of peace from the situation you were in. I still am in survival mode and it’s been a year since I’ve left. Every noise i hear that i don’t know where it comes, when my boyfriend raises his voice at his videos games, when people walk up on me too fast or i don’t realize they are there. It can all put me back into my past relationship. I wish you the best vibes while on your journey of healing❤️

Thank you for sharing this. I’m a DV survivor too. My daughters dad also passed away from su1c1de. He was also on drugs when he would abuse me & I’ve since forgiven him for what all he put me through. It took me so long to be able to even grieve. Nobody even knew what I was dealing with. His mom blames me for him passing away because I left the situation before I gave birth to our daughter & didn’t want to get back together with him. When he passed away it was kind of like a weight lifted off my shoulders because I knew he couldn’t hurt me anymore or try to hurt my daughter but I felt so guilty for feeling that way for so long. This really makes me feel less alone. I love you ❤️

You have been walking through this journey so beautifully and by that I mean I see your desire to grow and learn. I too grew up with substance abuse in my home, people didn't see it and shamed me for the way I felt about that family member. I am so proud of the way you have handled everything with such caution, and respect for yourself and those around you. Your strength is an inspiration!

Thank you for this, as a survivor of emotional and sexual abuse from my past partner of 4 years the question I hate hearing the most is “why didn’t you leave?” finally someone is speaking out on why leaving is the hardest part❤️

“despair can never be dissolved by escaping it, but by observing it”

Cam is the embodiment of care and love

I admire Camryn so so so much ❤ - her good heart, this must have been so hard for her 🥺

Cam I can't even begin to tell you how proud we are of you. The emotions you felt after his death was totally understandable. You were upset because you lost the love of your life but also angry at him and maybe you even felt some what free from the abuse. Whatever you felt was totally valid, nobody ever should be telling you how to feel unless they were in the exact situation you went through. Lots of love ❤️

I think you said it perfectly... humans are often contradictory and complicated and can be many things at once even if it doesnt make much sense. I think what you went through was hard enough already and knowing this I cannot imagine all of the mixed feelings/emotions/thoughts you have had to deal with. I admire your honesty, strength, and bravery to share! Sending love and will be reading your book the moment it comes out!

You are so eloquently spoke with your words, I love how you get your message across in a balanced way. You’re right both those things can be true. It’s made me realise a few things in my own life!

Your reflections are mature beyond your years! I’m not minimizing the pain you’ve been through but it seems that it really put you in a journey of growth and healing.

Cam I am so glad that you are sharing your story in such a your own way. I am so happy that you feel comfortable sharing your story. Your Internet Fam will support you, no matter what and I’m so glad that you have chosen to not hide yourself and in general just be yourself. DO NOT let anyone invalidate your situation and your feelings because they are very much valid. I know that it has been a long journey and it may not always be so good but you and your family are getting through it and that is so inspiring and shows hope to those who are going through or went through something similar.

You are an extremely brave young woman, sharing your heart and story so others can receive healing too. May God bless you and the girls on the road forward.

When you uploaded the video about landons passing, I knew there was something up, something more we didn't know. I felt it in your words and looks... I'm glad you can finally speak your truth and try to heal

I’m so nervous to hear, but just listen I’m so proud of you cam! It takes strength and bravery to come forward when you know others have & will JUDGE & be so mean and cruel to you:(

Yes ! I so needed this💯 I understand you, I have no friends because I’m “ stuck” in a toxic relationship. I understand you girl. And Needed this.

You’re such a sweet kind hearted soul despite all you’ve been through, I’ve been watching you since just after you had Collette and to see you go through all this online is so heartbreaking, I truly couldn’t comprehend what you went through especially being so young but the fact you don’t want to ruin his image is a huge testimony to the person you are and how well you’ve dealt with the grief. I’m truly so sorry for all you’ve been through and I’ll pray that the universe looks after you and the kids going forward 🥺

You are amazing. So many people wouldn’t be so honest about their life and try to help others thru your pain.

You are such an articulate beautiful young woman, I am sorry you went through all of this. It isn’t easy to feel all those emotions at once, I’m glad you were able to process them and sit with yourself and realize all of this❤️ sending love

So strong cam, so proud of how you’ve grown 💖

You are very brave & resilient Cam, I am sorry you went through that experience. You are very inspiring to many who have watched you throughout your healing journey , it’s never easy putting yourself out on a public platform but you to hopefully get a message to those wondering “is there such a thing called hope” that’s what you have reminded me today. Sending much love to you and your girls 💜🧡💛🤍💚💖 💫

You’re so brave. I beyond proud of you Cam. 💙

I can totally see this as a two part book. Making one of you before Landon and getting with them and how your life was together. Then one when after he left and how you felt and grew from it etc

Going back and watching your old videos and now knowing what was really happening is insane. I am so sorry that this happened to you. rip Landon 💙

For someone who's been through domestic violence for years you sharing your story helped me feel like I wasn't alone. I'm so happy you came out about this, it shows that you're healing so much. I've healed so much since my abuse. I loved my abuser, I had felt close to them but then I was slowly getting angry and them for what they were putting me through. But it helped me so much to understand that sharing about it helped others

I’m so deeply sorry (and so sad )for all you’ve been through Cam. You are so eloquent and thoughtful, the manner in which you explained what you’ve experienced is very compassionate. You will help so many people with this video and your important words. Sending you love and healing thoughts. So proud of you, you deserve happiness and respect always. You are brave and strong and amazing. 💛💜

i literally just went through a breakup with my abuser 4 days ago. i don’t believe it was a coincidence that this popped up on my timeline today. i really think your story will help my healing process, as my ex was an addict as well. thank you for sharing your story.

Today I was laying in my bed and I suddenly remembered your channel, I missed it so Much bc I remember when your husband died I just took a break from watching them stuff went on in my life and today but I found your channel again and I’m so glad.

thank you for speaking about this. i hate that i can relate but i do. thank you so much for giving people like us a voice i love you

I’ve been trying to leave my so because of this and honestly this is exactly how i feel and just feeling this lonely and randomly finding your channel again is so refreshing to hear. Thank you so much

I’m so happy you’re able to finally tell your story

Biting my cheek, snot running, and tears flowing.. Cam I truly wish I could hug you right now. Literally I've been blind, I truly only seen one side. I seen the picture perfect family oriented channel. This whole time. Like you said. He cared for you, and he loved you and he was such an amazing person but you've been through some sh!t and that's a fact and that's real... I value you so much, I appreciate how you continue to advocate for the most perfect things. This isn't talked about enough and it truly should be. When you said "I'm surviving now" chills became up on me and I couldn't stop crying. I hope this journey is a smooth one for you. We know writing this book won't be easy. But you're so much more powerful than you think babe. You're so strong and you're so fkn wise. I fully believe certain challenges are only made for certain people. You have the platform, you have the will. The girls will also remember this time and ask themselves "How did my mom do this" You've proven to people and yourself each day that there is a light after a horrible storm. Keep shinning, and keep inspiring. ✨ I love you !!!! (✿^‿^)

Thank you for using your platform to talk about such a difficult topic, it’s is not talked about enough. You are so amazing and so strong

As a young dv survivor myself, i needed someone to say something. Bc nobody does. I had to figure it out myself and it took so long to even come to terms with it. Thank you for making this video. I try so hard to speak openly in my community, but like you said, it’s pushed under the rug. I’m so glad you’re safe. Thank you so much ❤️

Your doing the best you can and you're a wonderful Mom.. Please don't let the haters get to you girl!! Your a woman with real emotions not just someone on youtube that the worls knows, Keep up the good work hun!

A very important topic to finally have someone to talk about. I for myself will probably not be able to read your book because it would be too triggering for me since I´ve experienced dv at young age in my first relationship. there´s so much to tell and so many women and girls to help. So really; thank you for having the courage for speaking up!

I first found your channel two years ago, shortly after escaping a relationship with a man who was abusive and using drugs. I have two boys myself, and I have carried a lot of guilt. I’ve thought about writing a book myself, or podcasting, anything to get my story out there. I am glad to see you using your platform for DV awareness. I just want to say that I see you, I’ve seen you since I watched my first vlog of you, (which was you sharing your experience about loosing your husband) you’re heard. When you said as a survivor, you see so many warning signs everywhere that no one talks about, I felt that. It’s so true. I believe it’s the reason why I felt connected to that very first vlog I watched. Sending you love and good vibes.

We’ll accept you no matter what❤️you’re so strong

I hope us as your fans can offer you more support than pressure, and that your platform blesses you. Love you Cam 💚

Cam, you are so strong. You're so awesome. I can't imagine what you've been through. I sure it was hard to forgive him, but I'm glad you did, for you. You're not alone. We're in your corner always.

Sweet Cam, I cannot imagine how deafening the silence must have felt these past couple of years feeling like you had to keep your truth inside for fear of being made out to be the bad guy just because you’re still hear and he is not. It’s unfathomable. What you went through is valid and just as important. I’m so so proud of the growing and healing you have done. You are truly truly a role model for so many. You are such a light! Keep shining and don’t let anything or anyone get in your way.

Camryn, you're helping others. You're book will be so important for so many❤

I'm probably one of your oldest subscribers (63) . You amaze me. How you've grown as a young mother is inspiring. I can see a bright future in front of you and your girls. love from Southern California

you are such a thoughtful, well spoken, sweet, strong & sincere human. sending love❤️

You’re such a wonderful admirable person. So much respect for your strength and love for your family.

Camryn, our lives are so parallel and even if I don’t know exactly what you went through, your pain feels so familiar. Our youngest are the same age and our grief timelines are so similar. I was in (and still partially am) in an emotional and sometimes physically abusive relationship. Right now I am a single mother to an almost two year old and your story has continually given me the strength to keep pushing. I am so proud of you for how far you’ve come and am inspired by the person you’re becoming. I am currently in university and making it on my own with my young toddler so your struggles are so very relatable. I am working on completely reducing all contact and you inspire me to realize that I am strong enough and if you can push through then so can I. I love you and the girls so much Cam and I hope nothing but the best for your future endeavors.

I can’t believe he cheated and abused you. Makes me so sad. Just shows people who act perfect on camera are not perfect