Schrodingers diagnosis limbo: is there autism in the box? 

It's an intense journey you're on but I'm glad you're doing this and also it's always going to be helpful for others watching you if they're going through similar struggles. You'll definitely get through it and get yourself to a better place :) And that's a lovely sunset!

Honestly you do deserve to be happy Ingrid and your life does have meaning. You make a lot of people happy even with your videos. I hope you will be happy with the results you get.

Are you? Are you not? Both? Neither? Would it really be so bad to just be an INFP? Accept that you are just who you are? Not everyone is built for this stressful modern life, not just the neurodiverse. And crashing in med school isn't uncommon for those with even the strongest mental fortitude. No shame there. You deserve to find some personal happiness, find a place you fit in. and can make a life for yourself. Maybe be a doctor someplace else when the residency is done. In a low-key environment. You're a bright & caring person, Ingrid. The world needs you and your skills.

I was in pain for years until I realized it was due to psychological factors. I have a step-niece that wouldn't listen to me and now she's institutionalized and a cripple. Unresolved psychological issues destroy people's lives every day. The only antidote it to learn to sit with our feelings. 2 hours a day, both in bed. 1 before sleeping and 1 upon waking. I sit with my thoughts and trace it back to my childhood. It's ALWAYS the same pattern; something that is bothering me TODAY is tapping into unresolved epressed issues from childhood. We know this is true, in ourselves and others, when we OVERREACT to what's happening today...

Coucou ^^ tu connaitrais son enneagramm avec INFP? t'es tu déjà demandé si tu n'avais pas plusieurs fonctions du mbti ou plusieurs types en toi? je t'envoie du soutien, merci pour tes vidéos c'est pas simple pourtant tu fais beaucoup d'effort c'est à remarquer

I have adhd but I don’t have autism. As a. Infj I will say that your personality has perplexed me for some time. Unfortunately, I haven’t come up with an answer to explain how I feel about the way that I think you’re mind works otherwise, I would give you some insights . I honestly am really embarrassed by this because this is what I do. But you are a very unique soul with very complex aspects that even my infj brain is struggling to categorize It will come to me eventually I promise

I hope whatever the diagnosis it helps you with further self understanding and may point you to extra tools you can use to cope with some of the difficulties you might face from time to time. Regarding crying I don't look at it as you ruining a moment. You had a very human moment. You are and will always be you regardless of what the diagnosis is. The older you get the more you learn about yourself and even at 70 and 80 you will be wiser than you are at 40. Try not to be hard on your past self, you are here now and your past self helped you to get here. You can only know what you know at the time you learn it. Your path forward is what you want it to be. You get to decide where you go from here and it does not have to depend on the expectations of your past. We can only work with the bodies and minds we are given. Learning more about our strengths and limitations is important so we can know what fits us. I know you already know much of what I am writing but these are the thoughts that came to me regarding your current awakening/transition. Continue to take care and be kind to yourself. You have much to share with the world and you can help others in many ways by just being yourself. Your existence has value and your friend sounds like a lovely person. I am sorry trying to do the expected has been such a struggle for you. I know some of what it is like being an INFP also. I have been criticized many times for not thinking or fitting in the way others do. I hope you can find your path and inspiration soon. I cant tell you what your main purpose in life should be but I do know one of the things you bring is comfort to people you interact with. You have touched my life and the lives of many on here. I agree with you regarding the concept that a life is not about productivity. Telling a child to strive to compete with the rest of the "productive" members of society and that their worth and ability to live depends on it is one of the most cruel things to do. I believe helping each other find our way through this journey called existence is one of the most healthy things we can do while we have life. I learned that from my mother. She has had a difficult life due to illness but she studied to be a nurse and up to this day at 80 years old still tries to help people get medical assistance or children escape abusive situations. She occupies herself with helping others with what skills she has even though she hardly leaves her house. You have a unique perspective of the world and you are not alone in this. As you said, just work with what you have been given and strive to be the best you can be when you have the energy or the drive to do so. It's your life to live as you see fit. None of us should try to live the life others want for us. I think you are a lovely human being and I am happy you are sharing this journey with the rest of us.

I think part of growing up for people on the spectrum like us is resolving our childhood issues. The quarter life crisis is very common because of this. All that confusion you suffered as a child continues to live in your head, and tells you you need to be 'normal' (whatever that really means; honestly far more synonymous with boring than being your authentic self in my opinion). In trying to reconcile your differences with your peers, you create a idealized version of what you think a 'normal' life is supposed to like, and set it up in contrast to yourself, but you can never live up to being your polar opposite -- so it haunts you because its paradoxical thinking. Learning to live life with autism is to understand you maladapted many things, and that you have to reframe your perspective on your youth, and not let your younger self dictate the rest of your life, because your younger self was simply wrong about a lot of things.

Better compensating by doing medical studies than becoming an alcoholic, drug addict, or losing yourself in video games. At least, even if you don't really like your life, your studies gave you cool usefull skills and meaningful job that can be the root from which your true desires can finally expand. Don't compare yourself from others too much, because you will always find people that you consider " better ", compare yourself to yourself in the past. Are you growing ? Cute angry infp )