A friend of the family had a husband who admitted to his violence and coercive control. Admitted that his wife had no blame and started therapy. Friends and family were very supportive of him because he was willing to admit his problems reconciliation with his wife was supported by the therapist and family and friends. 2 1/2 months later he killed her.
That's FEMICIDE I didnot think that kinda ended was coming. Was he an addict? or "just a misogynist psycho? I'm so sorry for your friend, I had an aquaintance who got murdered by her bf too. I only knew her, but he killed at least 3 other women. I knew the guy too (SCARY CRINGE) OH this is so unfair, most femicides are committed by men who were bfs, husbands or exes... in mexico over 15 women are murdered by femicide DAILY (apart from the homicides) MACHISMO AND PATRIARCHY ARE A WAR AGAINST WOMEN, historically and contemporarily. I've been told this you made me do it so many times, and ppl look at women with despise "for staying" and rarely confront then men for being violent. Bystanders (they call them). Everybody near should be stoping all this hatee crimes against women but most ppl cant t bother to care about anything but themselves.
This is one of the terrible things, but also one of the most astounding things. Why do we protect some and not others? And why are women and children so expendable? The US has its own very difficult story of violence both in the home and in public. We must talk about it and talk loudly. Thanks for adding your thoughts here.
Doing something extraordinary is an amazing thing and to see one of your children doing it makes it even more amazing. Interviewing Jess was a highlight of my life :)
Great to see shame and intimacy issues brought into the conversation on coercive control; this is key. Our own bias gets in the way of prevention, would love to see these blind spots exposed so that these ideas on coercive control can be put into practical solutions. Not sure how though, as technology and culture changes so fast we have to do this from unstable ground: Gender roles and identity issues in particular are very unstable, power and control issues change with them. I think this focus on shame and intimacy is the right path to solutions though, so long as they are flexible enough to change as we do. We risk doing more harm than good if we act from obsolete models and a traditional role bias. Working with young men in particular I see how their behaviour changes after certain weekends when they go out to socialise, it's a constant battle to get them back to their best selves. Not all of this battle is age old or intrinsic to young men, some of it is very new and we have no idea what kind of relationships these men will end up getting into over the long term.
