ep 3 of the series, includes possible solutions to reducing DV Social & Political Analysis(S.P.A.) by Shorey Please SUBSCRIBE for more interesting videos on topics that are important and effect the life of you or your family
Lundy Bancroft says serious jail time, societal accountability and oversight, family and friends have to hold him accountable, and he needs 2-5 years of abuser intervention program (NOT therapy).
@@harmonyvaneaton4101 the intervention only comes after he does his jail time. You hurt, you do jail time, then the anger management and the intervention. Without it this way, women victims will never have real justice and the men will continue to abuse, because they now know they get a choice in our courts. Jail or anger management. I can never understand the lopsidedness of our lacked laws for domestic violence, that only favor men, which just happen to be stronger and bigger. No one would ever think it fair to put a smaller man in the ring with a larger man to fight for sports. There are rules against that. But that is what our courts are now doing to women. They are treating them like they are in a fair fight. Until the courts change the disparities of the laws for big verses little, strong, verses weak, men’s aggression verses women’s right to physical autonomy, women will always continue to fight against it staying as it us now.
i'm having a really hard time watching this documentary. I feel that this program tries to make us have sympathy for those abusers and see them as victims as well. Also, i KNOW most of these men who participate in this rehabilitation program do it for one or another of these reasons: diminish their jail sentence, manipulate their partner into taking them back cause they made an ''effort'' and gain sympathy and forgiveness from their entourage...... Just to go back to their old ways as soon as things calm down. These men should all be jailed then put automatically on a monitoring bracelet, registered as a terrorist offender and watched for the rest of their manipulating worthless lives. I'm 38 years old and maybe i'm just not mature enough but i will never be able to''understand'' these men nor to forgive them for the harm they've done. Their repentance is bullshit, fake.
I absolutely agree with what say about putting a bracelet on them. This way everyone woman will know why hr has this bracelet but I think that this bracelet should be on their wrist, instead of their ankle. Whenever any woman sees this bracelet she will stay away from this abuser. I think this a great idea 💡. I also do believe that these abusers only go and get therapy because at that moment they want us to see that they are supposedly making an effort to make a change on their abusive behavior. I have an abusive attorney who presented himself as being a "Nice Guy"?? Then he showed his true intentions. Which it was not do defend my rights but to just keep deducting money from the $6,000 retainer and not do any actual paperwork for my divorce. I had a female attorney who also was abusive who would threatened me every time I would address something that I didn't believe she was doing right in my behalf. I had female and male attorneys and they both have abusive behaviors. "I am on your side and you can trust me" they would say but they just took my money and didn't finish my divorce and I want be free but these evil attorneys, only care about making money. And they are not in it to help the needy like God says. I told them that God says something about attorneys in the bible. And that is all I said to them. I totally agree with everything you say and feel because I feel and believe the same way.
Yes, I also agree with you on them getting caught and this is the only reason why they go and get therapy. They will never change because it's already in their DNA. My soon to be ex-husband would always tell me..."see!!" "I'm changing and God says to forgive 70 times 7"? I was like...I don't believe anymore because if you really wanted to change. You have done it in 35 years of marriage. Which you haven't and all you do is make me cry every time you yell and insult me and then hit me on the head, arms, push me with your abdomen, seat on my chest and start beating me up. Then you would say..."I'm sorry, I love you " I was this is not love and you do not have love and honor. Therefore I don't want to be with you because you are just an abuser who will never change.
These programs are designed for the court to say that these abusers have ticked the box is now a changed person so that they can force the victims back into the hands of the perpetrators for further abuse through the system. And even when these perpetrators ”graduate”, there is nothing to police these abusers to see if they are truly clean. Their certificate is their ticket to a changed person. Anything else they do beyond that gets ignored. Abuse is not always physical. Yet only physical abuse is taken with some seriousness. They are only sorry that they got caught.
They know they're not the victims but they convince themselves and everyone around that they are. They're sickening but their supporters are equally terrible
Yes they are only about themselves and that is their character it DOES NOT change regardless of do gooders. And the women are left with the scars while the abusers have their hand held
Having been in one of these relationships… I cannot feel anything for the guys perpetrating. A good and decent jail sentence would be better along side one of these programs
Women should just stop dealing with Men altogether until the good Men and authorities hold bad and silent Men accountable for their abuse against everyone
My soon to be ex-husband used to also say..."Don't tell me that you want to divorce me " "Remember that I never grew up with my father and you don't want our daughters to grow up without their father " "otherwise you will be a terrible mother for taking our daughters from their father ". This is why I never filed for divorce. He would then , become angry again and he would yell and say..."I WANT THE "F" DIVORCE NOW!!" Then I was like...I told you before that I wanted to divorce you but you told me that I had to stay with you for our daughters emotional and mental health? Then I would ask him...how do you want us to get a divorce. Then he would say.. "you are crazy I never demanded to have a divorce". He would continue this pattern for 35 years. He and I started dating in the 8th grade and I became pregnant in the 10th grade. This is when I had to move in with him and his mother but then he would become angry and stated hitting me on the head and threw a pillow over our baby's crib whenever she would cry. Then his mother would start insulting my father and I told him about his mother said about my father. He asked her and she denied it. Then he hit me on the head and called me a lier. This is the first time I left him but he would always call .e and would say..."I am sorry, I will make it up to you, just forgive me " "I want to see my daughter because I miss you and our baby" I never realized that he was using me and abusing me for 35 years. He made me cry so bitterly every every year. When I wanted to divorce him or leave him. He would get in front of the door of our house and didn't want me to leave our house. My oldest daughter saw him beating me up with a pair of boots on my head when she was 12 years old.
"What are you doing to me" is what he would say, as he was shaking me so hard my shirt lost its shape, and i would have to throw it out. A look would get in his eye, and i knew it was coming. I didnt have to say anything to him. It would just appear out of nowhere. I still cant stop thinking that i was the problem. That sounds crazy, i know.
I absolutely do see the value in listening to these men and learn about how why and when things started to go wrong for them. While I think some of the perpetrators are beyond a point of rehabilitation and need to be kept away from their victims and communities, I also think many men can be rehabilitated. I just don't understand the program leader who talks about depression and anxiety. Yes, they may be depressed and anxious, but lets address the elephant in the room here: It is male aggression and entitlement , rooted in toxic masculinity (on a systemic and individual level). (and before people will comment "women can be the primary abuser, too". yes, they can but statistically it a very small amount compared to men)
So many red flags like talking about how women need to be disciplined- how they would beat me if we were in a country that allowed it, how they hate sensitive people/ppl who can't fight for them and who are "pussies" and some big ones are havinh trouble with authority and work and always picking problems/feeling like they deserve the best while in public, being well spoken and popular and dominant in conversations, tell you that your parents and friends are the bad ones because they don't want you to have a relationship or don't like them, that you do nothing compared to other partners/hookups/friends, that they hold you to promises no matter how impossible/unreasonable it is to keep them due to change of life circumstances, exaggerating your flaws and exaggerating their parenting contribution, etc
Another one is if they get reported on social media, if they don't care about swearing in front of children, tell you to work or not to work, always want you back at their place for their convenience, Don't let you change your mind or have your own contributions to the conversation (or act like what they have to say is more valid/true), control your birth choices, feel like they don't need to take classes (prenatal (becauseit apparentlydoesn'tapply to them), parenting, read parenting books (bc they say they know everything already)), they check on you every few minutes even if you are on a walk or at the store, they cannot stick to separate rooms or talking only about the child, they interrogate and take apart every answer and ask who what when where and WHY you do anything (especially when it comes to leaving the apartment for any reason)
Another is if they always want you to listen to what they have to say or what they are going through, if they always want you as their therapist/counselor even if you are not in a relationship, they always question you, humiliate/make you look bad in public, act like they deserve extra servings/are ripped off every time you go anywhere, tell you that you are not normal or need to be mentally assessed, act like you don't do the bare minimum (even if you are sick and can't get out of bed), shame you for what you wear, if you mention their friends they will say "you can have them" or act like you are interested in their friend as soon as you mention a name
There are more red flags like: getting mad when you stop watching a TV show for literally a millisecond and look back, if you finding something wrong with an offensive joke, if they believe stereotypes are good, if they need you to do something by a certain time and get really upset if for good reason you are a few minutes late or couldn't finish something, if bus/transit problems were present, they are negative whenever you want to be happy, if they tell you you have no options when you do, if they try to tell you you have to give up your child because you don't have everything figured out
The first Man toreador his letter from his wife’s perspective wrote all about himself and how he’s so missed...nothing about how he made her feel as he beat and terrorized her. 🤦🏻♀️
these men are highly unlikely to change. so they need to be marked so they can be recognised. to save other women and also so employers can consider whether they want to employ them. a bracelet system would work. it needs to be visible and not able to be removed. they should be sentenced more severely than other violent offenders because in addition to the violence itself they have also breached a position of trust. other men need to scorn them. these things are not difficult to do.
we raise women to be polite and submissive. we raise women to be accepting and not demanding. we raise women to be peacemakers. What we need to do is raise women to recognize that people can come with personality defects and to see the red flags and know what they are seeing and walk away ASAP. Women also have to be taught that these mental defects are permanent and will never change. An abuser is an abuser for life. A violent man is a violent man for life. an alcoholic is an alcoholic for life. a controlling man is a controlling man for life. A narcissist is a narcissist for life. a paedophile is a paedophile for life. they may change gears once in a while, but they are still driving the same car. we also have to teach women that they are allowed to walk away and that they are allowed to leave a bad relationship and that they regain their own power by leaving a sick relationship and a mentally defective man behind.
But women are NOT allowed to walk away if there are shared children. They are forced to share vulnerable children with an abuser, who takes her leaving out on the children. Until we change family court or abolish it, women cannot just leave.
Caroline, totally agree with you. What comes out to me is the sense of 'entitlement'. I am entitled to do this to you because I am in control and it is usually, of course, a man. Who do these men think they are when they think they have this entitlement to hurt and control another human being. Can't remember the name of the Australian Prime Minister who said this , but he said 'it is a national disgrace, a complete national disgrace that we are faced with this domestic violence'. Australia, a beautiful country like nowhere on earth, I have been there many times, lovely country but supposedly a First World Country - you should be ashamed of yourself.
Exactly my feelings. I remember that PM saying that. The sense of entitlement is probably so in-grown especially in rural areas. I have a daughter in NZ who re-iterated the same Aus and NZ have a very bad DM violence problem.
We also need to start normalizing the fact that men are abused by women as well! And when we're talkin about domestic violence they need to be included
When women cause anything like the same level of harm and death that men do maybe we'll discuss that more. The rest of us are over here in reality, where men are the problem.
My soon to be ex-husband left me emotionally, espiritually and mentally broken. I had nightmares when I was with him and I still have them. This man would again ask for forgiveness every time I made him angry. He would say..."you see what you Madd me do?" "I hate getting angry but you make me angry ". I would cry every night and I would sleep with my eyes open. He would threatened me...."Don't close your eyes because I will beat the crap of you". He would hit me many times on the head, my arms, sat on my chest and began to beat me up on my face. He later would ask for forgiveness and would buy me roses. And would say..."I am sorry but I hate getting angry. He would continue to verbally and physically abused me for 35 years. We have 3 daughters and he would say..."Don't tell our daughters that I still abuse you because they will become afraid and you don't want them be living in our house all afraid of me, their father ". I told him that I wanted the divorce but then he would convince me that he would change many times but that change never came. I believe that humanity can change if their a true desire within the man's heart. Otherwise the change will never have.
Love how Australia is facing this problem with publicity . Schools should educate students in first year of middle school when puberty starts. Teach them about the patterns of abuse and CONTROL that abuser uses a long with honeymoon so sorry and won't happen again. That men and women can be abusers. They look for submissive partners who won't fight back. Abusers usually come from violent background. They are consumed with rage and lash out . Always the victims fault who made them angry! The abuser is usually possessed with demons and their eyes usually go dark as they rage at you . Can these rage filled men controlled at times by that angry spirit get help and change? YES with a good educated therapist who knows how to set them free from demons and bring deep inner healing to the small child inside that was abused and grew up angry and out of control. I fled my husband May 3, 1983 for shelter with 4 sons 10, 9, 7, 6 in New Port Richey, Florida. He was 19 before his parents got sober in AA. He had violent childhood, saw Dad beat Mom. In early teens became leader of gang in Brooklyn. Violence was his life . See book/ movie "The Cross and the Switchblade." His family moved to Florida after drunk father assaulted a cop. His parents became Christians. They gave their son the above book. After he stabbed his younger brother and drove car over his father's legs . Went to jail but no charges pressed against him . I met him in small Bible school. He told me about his violent past but I believed him a changed person. Gradually changed to former person. He found me at spouse abuse shelter in 6 days. Staff and I were terrified. Stayed the maximum 6 weeks getting therapy. Had them transfer me from Florida to my home state Richmond Virginia. For FIRST time family heard about my violent abusive marriage. Left note that I no longer loved or trusted him and he needed help . He immediately got excellent help. I knew he really loved me. I got therapy and understanding of abuse. Very hard but felt I had to give him another chance. Went back to Florida to get kids enrolled for school August 1983. Resumed therapy. Finally allowed him home November 1983 six months after I left him. Therapy until May 1984 a whole year. Sons and I watched that man change. He became their father and helped their friends as teens. Was a vocational teacher in high school . After boys grown was a Bible teacher and we traveled parts of USA. He CHANGED. At 66 got brain tumor and died in hospice after only 7 weeks. Until the end he was always saying how sorry he was for how he treated me. He was beloved by many people as a gentle big man with lovely laugh and humble and shy. Only 1 percent of abusive relationships stay together. We beat the odds! I am now going on 82 years old. So very happy I gambled and returned to him . A miracle man.
the Australia Domestic Violence legislation says very clear 1) verbal insult, 2) split, 3) financial control, 4) physical alternation (including pushing) are all classified as Domestic Violence. AUSTRALIA has zero tolerance of domestic violence, every Aussie knows this, it is a basic social common sense to protect woman in Australia. Like what happened to my friend, she lives in Sydney, her husband pushed her (or her husband pushed her back) during an argument, she called police and she gave statement to the police, police issued 2 years AVO and laid criminal charge on her husband immediately, no question asked, this is DV legislation supposed to be, to protect woman, make woman feel safe. In the following week, the court ordered her husband to leave home, the court ordered her husband cannot approach her or communicate to her, the court ordered her husband if he wants to see Kids then he needs her permission to do so. A good husband will not argue with his wife, woman need to be respected, the moment he argued back, the moment he pushed back his wife, he lose his right to the kids, he lose his family. Australia sets a good example to respect woman, to protect woman, to make woman be brave, be safe.
You said the court order him to leave the home. Did they make him do a substantial amount of jail time? That’s the problem. No substantial amount of jail time for the first offense and from there on, this will only keep happening. Quit sending him to anger management in place of jail time. Make them felonies, instead of harrassment( not even a misdemeanor.
you are 100% right, if a men lift a finger on a women, he need to be sent in jail for his lifetime, a men cannot listen to women then that men is worthless than a dog!@@sampsonlittle7368
These stories very disturbing, This was absolutely terrible and Very difficult to watch Men keep your cool, mind your temper, breathe, relax, whatever you are upset about... it is simply not that serious, Men DONT hurt your Lady, Never beat up your Woman, or any other woman, that’s NOT is what being a man is. Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man tough... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man strong... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man cool... Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man a man.... Beating a woman is Not masculine Beating Women is NOT sexy Beating Women is NOT manly Using abuse, and force for sexual gratification, intimidation, by harmful behavior for sexual intimacy with someone doesn’t make a man, strong, tough, cool, or, manly. I believe in the Safety and Well-being Women, Children, and Men WOMEN Have the RIGHT to FEEL SAFE and BE SAFE This is a reply post regarding a article on Assault Against Woman: For what is statistically true, or accurate, and even what is not included statistically, and all other crime such as this is what is ( violence against women) Always unacceptable... Women have the Right to Feel SAFE and be Safe... No woman..., or person....child...should ever have to experience this kind heinous personal intrusion in their lifetime, this seems to be occurring at least according to news reports more, and all to often. Actually this activity should be in a stage, or state of Reversal, and NOT Increasing, I am continually upset as well as greatly disturbed in hearing such stories, as I have always have been... My Heart Always... goes out to any person which have experienced any such similar experience of intrusion, attacks, and, or invasion of their personal well-being... due violence, and or violent behavior, I will continue Praying for the Safety and Well-Being of Others... Keep everyone SAFE PLEASE BE SAFE Your Life is important Advocate of Humanity, Author, Writer, Poet, Safety Advocate Jason Sandifer, Michigan MESSAGE REPOSTED 10/20/2021
The exact opposite happens. Abusive fathers are given 50/50 if not more and they abuse the children since they can't get to the mother. Please do some research on post separation abuse and the family court global crisis. The UN spoke about it this year.
No. Research shows that abusive men feel ENTITLEMENT to have dominance, power, and control over wives and kids, and they feel they have the RIGHT to enforce and punish.
I know that women and children suffer DV more often. But I also stand by men who are victims of DV. They are silent and won't tell anyone because of the shame. There are some horrible women out there too. We want equality, well we also have to recognise abuse happens to men too. As you can see, I have a male name, but I am a female. I have also been through DV too
“And in those times there shall many stand up against the king of the south: also the robbers of thy people shall exalt themselves to establish the vision; but they shall fall.” Daniel 11:14 57. "An evil day is approaching when it becomes recognized in a community that the only standard of social distinction is wealth. That day was soon followed in Rome by its unavoidable consequence, a government founded upon two domestic elements, -- corruption and terrorism. No language can describe the state of that capital after the civil wars. The accumulation of power and wealth gave rise to a universal depravity. Law ceased to be of any value. A suitor must deposit a bribe before a trial could be had. The social fabric was a festering mass of rottenness. The people had become a populace; the aristocracy was demoniac; the city was a hell. No crime that the annals of human wickedness can show was left unperpetrated: remorseless murders; the betrayal of parents, husbands, wives, friends; poisoning reduced to a system; adultery degenerating into incest's and crimes that can not be written. 58. "Women of the higher class were so lascivious, depraved, and dangerous, that men could not be compelled to contract matrimony with them; marriage was displaced by concubinage; even virgins were guilty of inconceivable immodesties; great officers of State and ladies of the court, of promiscuous bathing's and naked exhibitions. In the time of Caesar it had become necessary for the government to interfere and actually put a premium on marriage. He gave rewards to women who had many children; prohibited those who were under forty-five years of age, and who had no children, from wearing jewels and riding in litters, hoping by such social disabilities to correct the evil. 59. "It went on from bad to worse, so that Augustus, in view of the general avoidance of legal marriage and resort to concubinage with slaves, was compelled to impose penalties on the unmarried -- to enact that they should not inherit by will except from relations. Not that the Roman women refrained from the gratification of their desires; their depravity impelled them to such wicked practises as can not be named in a modern book. They actually reckoned the years, not by the consuls, but by the men they had lived with. To be childless, and therefore without the natural restraint of a family, was looked upon as a singular felicity. Plutarch correctly touched the point when he said that the Romans married to be heirs and not to have heirs. 60. "Of offenses that do not rise to the dignity of atrocity, but which excite our loathing, such as gluttony and the most debauched luxury, the annals of the times furnish disgusting proofs. It was said, `They eat that they may vomit, and vomit that they may eat.' At the taking of Perusium, three hundred of the most distinguished citizens were solemnly sacrificed at the altar of Divus Julius by Octavian. Are these the deeds of civilized men, or the rioting's of cannibals drunk with blood? 61. "The higher classes on all sides exhibited a total extinction of moral principle; the lower were practical atheists. Who can peruse the annals of the emperors without being shocked at the manner in which men died, meeting their fate with the obtuse tranquillity that characterizes beasts? A centurion with a private mandate appears, and forthwith the victim opens his veins, and dies in a warm bath. At the best, all that was done was to strike at the tyrant. Men despairingly acknowledged that the system itself was utterly past cure.
Jess Hill was one of the Extreme Feminist Crazies who appeared on the Q and A Broadside all Feminist Panel. It was so bad that the ABC said sorry for it and removed it from all of their platforms. The Broadside Q and A is the ONLY show that the ABC has ever removed.
