Self-Love Tips for All 9 Enneagram Types 

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Let me tell you, as a 9, having that friend who listens is SO important. This past Octber my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me and I felt LOST. But thanks to God, one of my childhood friends had recently gotten married and moved close by. She and her husband have been so supportive and listen so well. They allow me to process my pain paciently, without judgement. I can't express how invaluable they have been to me.

“They might feel it’s not worth doing because it doesn’t contribute to something productive” *Moonwalks away*

As a type 2, my goal this year is to have more quiet time with God through prayer, reading my Bible, and self-reflection. It's hard to shut off the voice that says I'm not good enough to just be loved without doing something for someone else, but I *always* feel loved by God so being intentional about spending quality time with Him really helps fill my cup ❤️

Don’t mind me, just leaving a comment for the algorithm containing words like Awesome, Informative, Great Video. Thank you for this, had fun watching!

This video was awesome! I’m a 9. I appreciated both the 9 suggestions and the 6 suggestions since that’s where I fall to in stress (which has been a lot more in recent times). Having a routine and making myself stick to it has changed my mental state entirely, as well as I’ve been having a yoga session before bed every day for a week and a half. I’m so much more calm and focused. Therapy and a friend who is a great listener are also so helpful in not only dealing with and understand emotions, but just being able to process things out-loud and have people that know you enough to help you grow. I appreciate the 6’s suggestion of watching something funny. Rom coms and female standups are my go-to when I am stuck in a bad mindset.

Thanks! I identify as a type 3. I have all these motivational saying on my bathroom mirror. I recently added “who you ARE is enough”. Just a little self love reminder each morning!

I am breathing a huge sigh of relief right now. Thank you for posting this! Ideas for each type. Type 1: For fun and spontaneity, watch an absurd comedy movie. Type 2: I recommend going to an art museum! Great place to be alone and relax! (I know you mention this in Type 4s, but 2s go into 4 in growth so yeah.) Type 3: Journaling the "blue thoughts" or having a discussion with a loved one and/or a therapist. Type 4: Get thee to a park or a botanical garden. Or maybe start gardening! Type 5: If Type 5s have to take a walk around somewhere or go somewhere to recharge, I recommend libraries or science museums. Type 6: Chamomile tea helps with going to bed early. And figure out what shows or movies make you laugh. Type 7: I recommend pilates or yoga or tai chi for stillness. Type 8: Intense exercise videos can be found all over RU-vid! Ditto with operas, ballets, and plays. And, uh, you forgot to mention maybe limiting time on social media. Type 9: Also recommend therapy! (Okay, to be real, ALL types should get a therapist!) I think I would also recommend just doing something for themselves that doesn't require any kind of approval like driving around somewhere scenic.

Me: *a type six* Abby: go to bed early! :) Me: *squinting angrily at the screen*

I'm a 7w8 and I really recharge by playing games with friends, especially those with random chance like board games. They give you a way to put a positive outcome on a random situation and gives you a chance to catch up with friends in the mean time. Another thing I love to recharge is reading fantasy books. I love to be able to go on adventures from the comfort of my pajamas!

Thank you for all of these positive self-care tips! I'll second your tips to the type 4 (type 4 here!). It is very important to reach out to loved ones. Story time: Just earlier this week I'd had a really bad day and could feel myself spiraling to unhealthy levels. I didn't know what to do with myself or how to get out of my own dark thoughts. I prayed and told God I was angry (at myself and everyone else) and lost and hopeless and that I didn't know what to do. I tried looking in the scriptures for guidance but found nothing, but if I listened softly I kept hearing the prompting to call my mom and tell her what was going on. I denied it the first few times because she is going through her own trials and I didn't want to add to her pain with my own. However, I finally did call her and everything got better. She shared what she was going through first, and that helped me to get out of my own head and spiraling feelings. Then, she helped me find a path to solve my own troubles, and she gave me a healthy outlet. Not everything got better at once, but it was enough for me to continue onward and feel better. One main thing that she did to help was that she didn't try to put a happy spin on either her or my own problems. She let the pain sit and only looked forward to some time and some steps we could both take for better days. I am so grateful to her. She is a type 9, and especially when she is struggling, she tends to do whatever she can to preserve harmony--even if that harmony is false. That usually means saying that she's fine when she's not and trying to give me positive quotes when she's not sure how to help me (it doesn't help). To all you type nines out there who do the same, please know that first of all I understand you. Second, it is important for you to share your pain too. It's not going to ruin the harmony, and you aren't a burden for having feelings and needs. Actually, my mom's bravery in sharing her pain helped me to find my own harmony. I needed her to need me too. Don't be afraid of that. It's going to be alright, and after this little storm there will be greater peace and understanding. There has got to be a little bit of darkness in this life too, and it's okay to pause and feel it. You aren't going to live there. TL;DR: Call your friends and family. Share your feelings even if they're uncomfortable. You'll feel better.

Yes! I am a type 2w1 and I spent most of yesterday rediscovering my love for curling up with a good book in front of the fire, then worked out - what a great, peaceful day! My family survived just fine and found their own things to do! : ) Also I LOVE calling to check in on my type9 friend who needs someone to listen from time to time. And I also am a mom of a type 6 teen who has a great sense of humor and we watched a funny show last night before I made her go to bed early . Yay! It all made so much sense!

As a 1w9, doing something just for fun is great advice. I am good at "self-care" like face masks and journaling. But I do them because they are productive (skin care and mental organization) but don't often do things just for fun.

It's interesting that for Type 2 you had mentioned spending time alone. I just found out that I'm actually a Type 2w1. Intuitively, I have made this a New Year's resolution/intention and it's been helpful to discovering more of "me." I've needed this for a while. Thank you

Thank you Abby, great way to start off the year.

I thought this video might come off as preachy but it so didn’t. I loved these tips!! As a 1 the idea of burdening someone with the task of putting together something fun for me sounds terrifying, but it’s such a great suggestion. Many times I have to actively remind myself- “You are worth taking care of yourself.” Whether that is just relaxing in front of the tv or doing something spontaneous and fun, I need constant reminders of that

I’m a type 4 and I actually cried when I listened to your tips, thank you so much for this video, I needed this.

i've been really struggling to find my type, mostly because i know i'm an introverted person, but i also relate to nearly everything i read about 7's. the "social" person just doesn't come out unless i'm with close friends, but then i do and think everything that a 7 does. anyways, the part of the video for 7's where you talked about cooking a nice meal for yourself is so interesting. i struggle with anxiety and depression, and last year when i couldn't get out of the house and go be with people to help with anxiety and depression, i would cook and/or bake. it's made me feel better my entire adult life.

As a type 9, I definitely need to practice self care, better overall health, and self compassion.

I’m a 4w5 and that was spot on for me! I really struggle with creating if it doesn’t look perfect... even though I do enjoy creating. That perfectionism may come from my 5 wing... I’m not sure

Ooft spot on for 9s!! It's only a week and a bit into the new year and I feel like I'm already struggle-bus-ing my way through life! Think I'll take today to self love, thanks Abbey

9w1: I’d also add allowing time to be creative. Whether painting, coloring, or crafting I find it relaxing and recharging to explore my creativity.

Hi Abbey, Howe are you? Hehe. Thanks for this video on self-love. Type 4s , iguess need it the most. Infp - 4 here. ✨

I’m 4w5 but with strong 3 aspects too.. I’m very focused on being productive all day which can exhaust me so my acts of self love are eating right- lots of fruit and water! Doing something creative like singing and playing piano or drawing.. I also take walks just being fully in nature usually alone too, spending time with people who make me happy!

For tests i am a 6 with balanced wings... but it is changing when i am observing myself and learning more...

Good positive encapsulation about the different #'s.

I think locking myself in my room and listening to a Sigur Ros album might be exactly what I need.

Great video. I’m 7w6. I wanted more tips! Also I find I’m not very adventurous anymore. At least not in reality. I love a good adventure tv show or novel. I’m retired and enjoy being a homebody (Covid). I thought I would hate it but I love it.

OMG she just said Sigur Ros!

LOVE LOVE LOVE this concept!

I love watching your videos! I am a 4 without a doubt. I crave creativity, but it's also fun and easy. If there's one thing I cannot tolerate it is inauthenticity! Being a 4 initially clicked with me because I feel like I've always been someone who may look like she's sad, but I'm not, I'm fine. I may be a 4w5, I'm not sure. Lastly, about myself, I think I may have grown up being a 9. In fact, in present times when I don't think or behave like a 4, usually, I'm thinking or behaving like a 9. I'm hearing impaired. Usually, I can understand what you're saying without any difficulty, but in this video, I've had a few stumbles. "Lock yourself in your room and listen to an entire [something] rose album" "It's really important for type 9s to know their presence and voice matters." I had to listen to this about three times before I figured out you were saying "voice". Do you have a video about how the enneagram types are during a group conversation? Thank you! Keep on being awesome Abbey!

I appreciated it so much when you got specific with imagery for type 7! Like with the sea shells and stained glass windows. Thank you! I feel very understood❤️

Ahh so glad I came to a similar conclusion as a 4: create for the joy of it! I burned myself out on a big art project in 2020 and would like to just have fun with my art now.

I’m a 9 but like solitude mostly like a 5. I just earlier ordered two adult coloring books to help me manage my stress,anxiety,& depression. I went from working 5 nights a week to asking for four because I’d come home and then have to clean up and take care of everybody and it was so exhausting and depressing I couldn’t handle it. I’m making due with the finance loss by learning how to cook and more diy things (laundry & dishwasher soap,’wet’ dog food). I planned last year on selling & donating about 75-90% of everything but then covid hit and that got 100% messed up. I’m trying to get my license & also go back to college in the summer. I have so many plans just hope they work out.

I'm a 6w5, the deteriorating mental health type. Lol. I'm beginning to learn how to wear my defects with pride. No easy task.

so good! type two here and sometimes its nice to hear a reminder. great job!

I am a 1 and delegate/saying no and to wait is one of the main decisions I've made for this year. As a Fe, people are always asking me to do things too. Making something just for fun isnt easy because of thinking too much about the reason why. But we, ones, can.do It

9 wing 1. Spot on.

“ ... or creating the next Pet Sounds ...” You really know how to speak the language of a four. Was Brian Wilson a four? 😂🌷

Just in time Abby ❤️ I’m a two and I used to hate it ! I’m gonna follow the self love for 2 .. happy new year

I’m all for type 9 having someone to talk to. The issue I have is getting them to talk 🙈😅 they’re like a vault. My type 9 is at least 😆

Love these tips! I’m 6w5. Thank you for making this video!

Awesome content - Self-love needs to be prioritized, especially right now! I go deep into self-love in a video series a couple months ago on my channel too (playlist on home page). I hope videos like ours inspire people to manifest self-love & in turn - love others. Just subscribed to your channel also - RU-vidrs like yourself should be highlighted more

Can you do a video about new years resolution?

4: Creating just for the joy of it and not turning it into a job is so hard! Yo, this 8 HATES exercise & would be bored at the opera or a play. I do LOVE going to the movies though! My favorite "activity" is bowling.

I am new subscriber of yours, I like your videos! Type 5w6/5w4 🤭😇

As a type 6 watching this video at 1am... ummm 😂

I seriously relate to three types: 2, 4, and 9. Is that normal? (Hahaha, that's the 4 in me talking at the moment!)

Is the guardian another name for the loyalist? Type 6 is the loyalist. I’m type 6.

i'm a type 9 and i hate making friends and now what i'm going to do...

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