I am a 9 and at my sister's bridal shower, there was a conversation going on about zodiac signs and astrology. I finally got up the courage to say something, and they totally ignored me and went back to talking like nothing even happened. I got up and walked away I was so mad. Being ignored is the worst!!!! 😵
I'm a 4 and I would add that I hate being told what to do. I want to choose what I do. My agency is a huge part of me being an individual! So easily avoided by being asked versus TOLD.
oh yes this one definitly! I can get very annoyed by unsolicited advice. I just want to vent my emotions. I'm not asking for advice, don't you dare tell me what to do and how to do it!
As a 4w5 I can relate to that. I like to do things my own way and I don’t like telling people what to do. I’d rather help people figure things out for themselves and not because I told them to.
Also, I will agree that complaining about things that are within one’s control are also super annoying. But it’s a lower tier pet peeve for me. Make do, not excuses.
As a 2 who is very empathetic, I was extremely triggered by all of these! I could deeply feel their pain😂 Also, I feel like 2s get triggered when someone is alienated from a group for no reason and we flock to that person to immediately help out. No? Just me? Ok😄
Type 4 here. I completely agree with the "stealing ideas" pet peeve. My mom has a habit of listening to what I say and then presenting my ideas as if they were her own and as if she had come to that conclusion herself and then repeating them back to me. That's actually very funny but annoys me to no end for some reason 😅
hahah awww this would annoy me SO much as well but its also so adorable cause it sounds like your mom is trying really hard to validate you and bond with you 😅😂💕
Haha yeah I feel like people do this when they lack self awareness (many people) but it’s not usually a huge deal to me. If it’s something important however, I just won’t let them get away with it. I won’t sit back and watch injustice take place like that, it’s not okay. I’m 4w3 and my tritype is considered the Messenger, more specifically The Aggressive (478).
Seven's is absolutely correct. I know you only did two each, but I wanted to add in "cancelled fun plans." - You cancel work, I'm ecstatic. You cancel the baseball game, I might go cry in a corner.
THIS!! I was explaining this to my husband (9) and he looked at me like I am insane. Cancelling fun plans is the worst. Cancelling plans to do something new that sounds fun is the worst of the worst.
You know this is a good video when you recognize that all of these are at least annoying, but get absolutely triggered at the ones associated with your type 😂❤️
I'm a 4w5 and that type 5 skit triggered my fight or flight response. Something that really boils my blood is when people breathe on my neck. Figuratively and literally. I don't like people watching over me and telling me what to do 😆
4 enneagram here. The stealing ideas thing hit very close to home. I had a very toxic friend who stole my ideas so constantly that he also started to claim my trauma. I had shared privately my old wounds and he started to share my wounds with others as his own and it still haunts me to this day. It was so bizarre but also so emotionally violating.
WOW! that is really extreme of your friend! I'm a 4 too I never really had that issue that I can recall of people stealing my ideas and such but it would annoy me
My son walked into the room just as you were describing type 1 and said, “That is you. Does she know you?” 😂 I said, “No son she is describing enneagram pet peeves.” He said that you nailed it 😂
..Yep. I'm definitely a type 8... There was this teacher who was terrible. I mean, an absolutely terrible person. I had no issue calling them out on it and being punished for it. No issue talking to the principal about it. No issue when the teacher was let go. Looking back on it now, though, wasn't my proudest moment because I basically upended half the school. :/ Though it did improve the learning environment... Yeah not completely proud about it. Could have blown up in my face.
Hey Abbey, I love you videos! Question...So recently I've lied to an eneagram 6 not really thinking. That was a bad idea. Any thoughts on how to regain a type 6’s trust?
6w5 here, not sure if other 6s feel this way but I really struggle with unexpected changes to plans. It’s like I become loyal to the agenda of what we’re going to do so when that changes I feel less secure
YESSSS I AGREE 100% I’m a 6w5 too and YESSSS lol it’s like, I already mentally prepared for *this* and then to have to it changed last minute it annoys me so much!
It's really odd, because I struggle with unexpected changes to plans as well, but I NEED the option of suddenly change plans if it feels necessary to me...
And then you're asked to let it go and to stop being a control freak and just go with the flow. If I hear this one more time I might end up in jail. 6w5 🤦♀️
Type 4: Given that Type 4s love authenticity, I never got into a lot of popular reality shows like "Real Housewives." Also, instafamous people just BAFFLE me. Like...how?!
probably the best reality show for a 4 is Alone on the history channel. You are litereally out in the wilderness alone and you are your own camera crew. Its not at all fake! 🤣
As a 1w2, the type 1 pet peeves didn’t quite land for me. For me it’s ppl doing sloppy or careless work, or leaving other ppl to clean up after them (literally or figuratively). Thanks for your great videos & the opportunity to chime in!
Oh god once again, it's creepy how accurate this all is! I love the little explanations you add, it puts the sketches into a clear context that can otherwise be overlooked.
My mom's a 5 but she loooves organized games to a fault. Same with dance songs that have instructions. I think knowing what to do in social situations is helpful for her. Great video!!
I'm a 5 and I love ice breakers. My son is a 6 and he hates them. I think it's because when I'm in a social situation, I didn't choose to be there, so having structured activity is a nice distraction. More genuinely sociable types might prefer to just walk around and talk to people. They don't need to be told to do that.
@@archivist_of_dragonstone I am 5w4 But I'm also open to the these things Specially when I like doing but I don't I pretend to untill I found a way out of this. 😅
Omg yes, being a 3 and giving endless simple solutions to people's complaints and they don't do anything about it drives me crazy!!! Because then I can't stop thinking of more solutions even when I leave, and then better ways to explain it to them so they'll feel motivated to do it.
As a 9, I love getting into deep conversations about subjects I'm really interested in and when that happens, great. It can take me a while to feel comfortable enough to share my opinions and open up about something, so being talked over or ignored is a major turn off. I'll shut down, walk away. I was in a pub restaurant one time and when I was served a really bad limp salad, I actually did take it back. Leaning in to my 8-wing. Felt so proud!😂
I'm a 3 with a strong 7 fix, and you NAILED IT. I just read the WORST self-help book ever yesterday that basically said that there's no point in striving for big goals because most people are statistically unsuccessful, so 'stop trying', accept that life sucks and then you die, etc. The title should've been "How to Be a Loser Who Gives Up on Life". ugh it put me in the worst funk the day I read it. Thankfully I'm over it now, but it's funny how I had such a visceral reaction to that book because it was so anathema to my deepest beliefs, whereas a lot of people found it liberating/comforting. (The weirdest part of it, is the book was written by someone who's a 7, according to PDB)
Really resonated with 5 especially, but also 9. I find 7’s trigger of negativity interesting though. Constant negativity is exhausting, sure, but while optimism has it’s place, I feel like it’s over-use is one of /my/ pet peeves. If someone responds to my pessimism or worry with optimism or trying to see the bright side, I feel dismissed or like they are being flippant and glossing over something really important. I’d much rather someone be pessimistic with me, or at least listen and sincerely acknowledge, then quietly help me work on game plans to adjust to it. All positivity all the time makes me super nervous because I can’t identify with it and I wonder what’s hiding that I can’t see.
Yes!!. I’m a 7 and I don’t want to be around negative people. I also identified with the 9 about family politics on line. As an ENFP I just want HARMONY!!
I'm a type 3 and I totally agree. Though I also resonate with the pet peeves for type 9 (being talked over), type 8 (wasted time), type 7 (forced schedule), and type 4 (stealing ideas). Some of these I feel like also fit perfectly for a type 3, cause type 3s also love efficiency and are always working towards their next accomplishment so they hate when their time is being wasted. Also, since our sense of worth is tied to our accomplishments it makes sense for type 3s to be pissed about having their ideas stolen or not getting credit for their work.
type 4 here. i hate it when im at a group setting and they say "you are all unique and special." because saying that to everyone makes no one unique.... lol
every time im in the car with my parents and i spot someone not obeying traffic rules, i’d get so annoyed and question their capability of driving in a vehicle
(Female) Type 9 here and totally agree with your video. Even worse than being ignored or talked over is when I go into an engineering shop to purchase something or ask a question and they ignore me and talk to my male colleague...aarggghhh!
1 here, and laughing! Many times my son thinks I’m talking to him when I’m driving…but I’m actually talking to the drivers who aren’t following the rules of the road. “Oh, no turn signal, eh? Turn signals are helpful communication tools mister. My decision about pulling out would have been different if I’d known your intentions, you realize?” I feel like 1s have a ton of pet peeves because nearly everything that isn’t how it should be bothers us. Incorrect grammar/spelling, shopping carts left in the parking lot, not wiping down the gym equipment after use, talking on your cell phone in a public place, driving slowly in the left lane (it’s for passing!) and not knowing the most efficient way to handle a merge area (you should proceed all the way to the merge and zipper in-it’s not rude; it’s how it’s supposed to go!). Being a passenger in a car is very difficult; it’s very hard for me to resist the urge to inform the driver about driving. 😬😂
What not to say to a 4: “It’s not about you” when they see someone else violating their morals (someone cheating, someone being bullied, etc. and the 4 wanting to intervene)
I'm an ENTJ 1w9 and you got it right but I'd say being mocked when I'm trying to be civil and patient with someone while explaining something is absolutely a big one for me.
OMG! This is the first video I’ve seen of yours and I’m blown away! I’m a 2w3 and because I’m a 2 I value helping people navigate their emotions/problems but as the 3 I want to just ignore people when they just complain about easily fixable problems!
I am a type 1 wing 9. So since I am a perfectionist more with myself than with others, the type 9 pet peeves were more relatable to me. A type 1 pet peeve of mine is people who claim an identity that they don't live by. So rather than surface level things like blinkers and chewing with your mouth open, people that don't live up to their own moral standards irritates me, like a Christian who goes to church Sunday morning but was out drinking and partying the night before.
Elena, I feel the same way. I’m a 1w9 like yourself. I identified with the type 9 segments more. I especially related to the “addressing an issue with an order at a restaurant”. I’d rather just live with it than to make a scene. “Their ineptitude was probably not intentional” would be what I’d say in my mind. As for Type 1 pet peeves, it would be poor grammar from a native speaker, whistling in doors or just making a lot of noise out of boredom, or talking during a movie, or overly emotional and soft talking. 🤙🏼😎 типа такого.
Another type 1 wing 9 here. I definitely agree with all the type 1 issues you brought up (and I'm so glad someone mentioned poor grammar). The type 9 pet peeves resonated with me quite a bit too (especially being ignored). With that said, people not using blinkers and not following other basic driving rules irks me to no end, so I still thought she nailed it. I think this just goes to show we're all still a little different within our own type.
@@MarkFilterDeveloper Yes! Whistling! I'm so glad someone else said this, because I thought I was the only person that can't stand whistling indoors, it literally makes my skin crawl! XD
Great video! As a type 4, I can't stand when people steal my ideas and don't give me a credit. Also as a small youtuber, I have had this happen. I also am a wing 5 and felt like social media was a big zap of energy and had to quit instagram, also because of fake people. The fake people I also relate to and awkward small talk.
I’m a 4w5 and I’d say my biggest peeve is when I’m talking to someone who doesn’t try to understand things from my point of view. I go out of my way to figure out where other people are coming from and when it isn’t reciprocated it is very disheartening. Even if we come from completely different ways of thinking it isn’t an excuse to assume everyone processes the same way.
That's a 9 trait! I was always so confused about how other people just can't put themselves in another's shoes or understand where they're coming from until I realized it was a 9 thing.
Type 8, you nailed it!!! There are literal youtubers that I’m subscribed to because I like their content but never watch because they talk to slow. It drives me crazy.
You are so entertaining and talented and I am so glad I came across your channel! You are so good at what you do--keep the videos coming. Learning a lot! (A 3 here as well. 😉)
Yep, I relate to both 6 and 9 (and every test gives me either one). I have said and done the things that both the 9 and 6 did in this video. lol. I even told my mom that I will go get murdered by walking by myself because she is a 7 and doesn't want to walk on the same safe trail with me anymore (edit: because she is bored with routines - and I am still too scared to go by myself).
Holy cow this was my favorite enneagram video from Abbey! I related so much with the enneagram 9 pet peve when her friend was complaining about her food to the waiter. SO true for me! I am a 1w9. :)
Loved the councillor Jamm reference! I'm a 2w3, and while I definitely agreed with the two pet peeves you chose, you also NAILED it with the "complaining about things you can change" for type 3 as well. Omg, so annoying!
Yeah, these are good! I think you hit perfectly on the pet peeves for the 4, and the pet peeves of the other types helped me understand them better. Thank you! I'm a self preservation 4w3. One of my pet peeves is people not believing that my joy is real. I'm a naturally pretty happy and optimistic person. I can be melancholy sometimes, and I'm not afraid of dark emotions, but I'm also not afraid of happiness! I've noticed that a lot of my friends who are also fours tend to think that I'm being inauthentic when I'm happy and it drives me crazy. I'm not lying just because I'm not sad. Happiness is real. Optimism is real. Hope is real.
I'm a 9w8 and omg the being talked over and ignored, and all the 8 pet peeves triggered me. I spent my entire upbringing defending minorities and loved ones in argument against a parent, so it really shaped me. Also love the Parks and Rec reference hahah
5 here. Definitely hate ignorance, but more than that, I hate logical fallacies/inconsistencies, cognitive dissonance and people not thinking for themselves. I actually relate to being annoyed by slowness like the 8, (the other day, some people in front of me in line were chatting it up instead of finishing checking out at a self checkout line. I had to switch lines). And no use of turn signal like type 1 (I think of it as rude, even my husband does it. I don't think he's purposely rude, but it's just inconsiderate of others).
As a trained Enneagram person, I want to commend you on how well you describe each type while making them so funny and helpful. Is there a series in which you explain how a type can relax the unhealthy side of the type and think differently? Thanks.
My biggest pet peeve, and what has the potential to tarnish a relationship for me, is extreme nosiness & busybodies. ESPECIALLY when they can't take a hint, or get offended/rude when I tell them to mind their own business. I'm a type 5 btw
So I also score as a 6 but I definitely relate to the 5 in this video! I think I have used those exact words about doing research on a subject so not to be ignorant about what’s happening in our world lol.
Type 8 here. So correct about bad leadership and slowness. Thank goodness RU-vid has a speed up function. Use it all the time. Also, do not ask me rhetorical or mundane questions. Do not over apologize in a frazzled dramatic way, but if you're wrong, you better apologize. Do not tell me how proud you are of yourself or your kids. Do not whine.
I find most of these things annoying. I have A LOT of pet peeves. But before I watched the video, I tried to think of the worst one. First on my list was "people who don't think about how their actions impact other people," so I think you're spot on! I'm 6w5. I also can't stand forced socializing, like "team building" at work. I just want to do my job, not socialize with people.
I'm a 6, and yes, I hate when people change plans because I spend so much time thinking about and preparing for them that it completely disorients me, lol.
More than that it's cause I was looking forward to it and have had to cancel any other plans that overlapped with this.. and you go ahead and CANCEL IT???
As a 5wSomething, both 4 and 6 sort of suited me. In 6's case though, I get more upset when they're inconsiderate of other people than when they're inconsiderate to me.
Wow I can totally relate to the second pet peeve of type 3 as a 4w5. I did develop my 3 wing the last couple of years, so yeah now I'm annoyed by people who just complain instead of putting in effort to accomplish the things they want. I also relate to the pet peeves of the 5, especially the one about efficiency. It can make me come off as cold sometimes, but I'm still a very emotional empathetic 4 at my core. I hate inauthenticity and I do want credit for my ideas and input. My mother who is a 3 is definitly super irritated when she gets interrupted while working (which she is constantly), even if it's for dinner she gets annoyed. And then my sweet socia' 8w9 boyfriend, he gets so frustrated with bad management, especially when his employers take advantage of the employees. He feels this strong desire to stick up for what's right.
As a 7 and a entp I can relate 100 percent. I get bored way too easily and I hate it. Especially when I have to deal with a tight schedule it literally kills me but at least I have friends to call
I 'like' your videos even before I watch them. I think my biggest pet peeve is people acting irresponsibly, or behaving inappropriately for their age (a grown person being dependent on his/her parents, say). What type does that fall under? P.s. Abbey, did you use liquid eye liner? Whatever you used, it really suits you.
I am an almost evenly split 1(98%) 4(97%), & 6(98%). I don't know if that rare. But it fits I guess. All of the corresponding pet peeves you mentioned are SPOT ON!
I'm a 4w3 and my absolute pet peeve is when people give me advice without me asking for it/ tell me what to do. I have a couple 4 friends who say the same. For me it's bc: 1. I feel like people therefore must see me as inept which is why they're offering advice and I hate being seens as such and 2. If someone gives me advice and I take it then I'm not operating from my authentic self bc it was someone else's idea. I also resonated with the others in the video. :)
I think 3 is accurate? Though I had a job where the goals and needs were SO unclear I would frequently wander around to talk to people to see what the heck I was supposed to be doing. It was a really weird job. I’m definitely like that when I’m in the zone. But since I’m currently a stay at home mom, I feel like my entire work IS to be interrupted.
I’m a 4w5 and my friend told me she sees a lot of 2 and 1 in me. I can totally relate to wanting to having high expectations for myself and other people. I also like feeling validated and understood by people I care about.
As a Type 1/5 I have many Type 1 and Type 5 related pet peeves. But other types pet peeves are also agreeable with me. All of these pet peeves apply to me. Although I am not bothered by Type 2 pet peeves about gratitude.
I'm an aspiring writer, and two of the main characters are an eight and her twin brother who's a seven. Watching the seven part really reminded me of them.
Omg the 7 one where they can’t stand schedules is so true!! My mom is a seven and she makes strict schedules for me and my siblings and then breaks them HERSELF bc she can’t stand them 😂😂
I'm not a type 6 but my sister and I literally have that exact conversation (about the already being ready, and her not wanting to do anything) all the time lol. I related to pet peeves from pretty much every enneagram type. You'd probably dislike talking to this guy I know, he complains about everything, but most of it is him hindering his own life. Like, he's upset that he dropped a ton of money on an instrument that he never plays because he doesn't want anyone to hear him practicing. He buys country animals even though he plans to move to the city. He never does anything he wants to because he's afraid people will laugh at him. He's Canadian and refuses to go to the doctor, even though he's told me a lot about all his ailments, including this time he fell asleep while driving. It seems like things that shouldn't be a problem are, and I get that anxiety and stuff exist, but he refuses to see a therapist. He's a good friend and I love him to death, but he does my head in sometimes, especially since he's almost 30, and he's holding himself back because he's afraid of people laughing at him.
I must have 8 somewhere cuz i cant deal with slow ppl n bad leadership But im a 2w3..my pet peeve is people not doing their part or not being reciprocal. Drives me mad! Whatever i do u need to match my energy or im done. I dont like my time or energy wasted
I mean, this goes hand in hand with unnecessary conflict, but as a 9, it drives me INSANE when people won't even try to understand another person's point of view.
How is it that 99% of these are my pet peeves? 🤣🤣🤣 6w5 with a lot of 7... Married to a 9w8. About planning- He gets frustrated when I want to talk things out to make sure I cover all possibilities. He says the exact thing you said in the video! (8) 🤣 Then he'll just check out. (9) We're learning how to do better with that. When planning a project together I tell him- I just need you to listen and let me bounce this off of you first. I'll try to keep it short if you'll just focus on what I'm saying for a few minutes. It's better if this is done the day before and not the morning of the project. He wants to hit the ground running the day of the project. Also, I can adapt and change mid project if I see a problem, he cannot/will not. 🤣🤣🤣 We've been married 24 years. I love the infuriating man so much and I'm sure he feels the same way about me. 😂♥️
Ouch, the type 1 description hurt. I've literally complained too many times than I can count that people don't use their turn signal. I'm a 1w2 guilty as charged...
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The mention of using people for your own benefit without taking them into account hit home as a type 2. However, it's less of a pet peeve and more of a very infuriating thing to do. How could somebody take advantage of another without feeling guilt?? It feels wrong to manipulate people into doing things for you. But, yes, I totally agree that the pet peeves for type 2 are accurate. Ty for making the video!
