Sensitive to Criticism? Watch This 

Barbara we missed your therapy Glad you're back with a wonderful explanation of the needful topic

No criticism from me Barbara, I think you're top notch! Thanks for another insightful, helpful video.

Very good point... If you have a healthy relationship with yourself and your self stime,it probably will be easier to think more ' relax ' When you have had a childhood ( for example),that you had only negative feedback,as a toxic parent,for example,that would be much harder, indeed to receive any and,it is,on itself something to work on to overcome,like myself.❤

Thank you for this video. It is very helpful. I've always been overly sensitive to criticism and recently realized I have Avoidant Personality Disorder which makes people hyper-sensitive to criticism. Criticism in this case, even perceived criticism, can trigger depression because it is linked with zero self-worth. I do think the key to recovery is, like you said, building up self-worth, but it is difficult. 💗

Actually, I could see a reason why your classmate was give you unsolicited advice. I find when I am in a learning situation, it helps my own learning to help out others when I get something that they might not. I learn better myself when I am teaching. I have learned that I should have a bit of a relationship first with the person. Not just immediately jump into a "let me teach you" thing until I actually have had a few exchanges with them first.

I have a complicated relationship with criticism. My mom was terrible at giving criticism, or just generally teaching us how to succeed in life. Her way to do that was to compare me negatively to other people. Either ask me why inwasn more like some awesome person, or she would warn me that I was going to end up just like some loser person. Most of the time she criticized, I would outright reject her criticism, or so I thought. Then a few.year ago I suddenly realized that I would tell my mom "oh look I did x"...with x being some thing she told me In the past that I should have done. But when I told her that, instead of "good job" I would get "huh...well it would have been better if..." and it would drive me crazy. I've started to heal from that (age 50) by letting go of my need for praise from my mom and realizing that's her problem and I am literally never going to get it if I haven't gotten it by now. But as much as I'm healing in that way, I still can't stand criticism from other people. It's the power dynamic as you said. I want to scream at people "you are not better than me!!!" The worst is the Internet and comments like this. I call it "getting in fights on Facebook" with my therapist, because it's usually Facebook. I have gotten a bit better, but every once in a while one thing gets under my skin and I just go off. Even tho there is a voice in my head telling me that this is not productive and I should let it drop, I ignore it and do my best to utterly destroy the person with my response. Most of the time, after a while, I come to my senses and realize how badly I behaved and go back and delete my posts if I can. But this usually only happens once I feel like I've "won" lol. An example of this was recently someone posted in a group I am in that they were wondering what kind of rock they had found on the beach. Most pet were saying quartz, but I like to be accurate and present other sides to things if I see too many people saying one thing. So I said that it could be quartz, but it also could be calcite, but there was no way to tell that from the picture and the person could do a hardness test to find out the real answer. The poster didnt respond, but some other random comment or said "No it's quartz, as many other people have said." I didn't take exception to the disagreement, but to the implication that everyone else was right and I was wrong. Also there were like 300 comments in the thread and as they pointed out "everyone was saying quartz" so like....why did they feel the need to come to my comment and point out that I was wrong? Right? I got very pissy. And in the end Im pretty sure I made the girl cry or something. At some point she said she was just trying to have a chat about rocks. And I was like well why didn't they respond to someone who she agreed with? I did own my pissiness but I definitely didn't apologize. Tho I know I should have. Then later I deleted the whole thread by deleting my original comment. So I'm still working on it. Lol

If you are a person who believes in free will, what gives anyone the right to criticise others. There is no power difference. We are all human. People who use criticism often have low self-esteem and childhood emotional issues. It doesn't matter who they are. If they are critical, it's them who has the issue. Just leave them in their own negative world and move on with your life.

very helpful. A more challenging example (than the Italian class) would have been useful i.e. a criticism that hits at ones core sense of self. Otherwise very good! Thanks Barbara :)

Never give "advice" by saying, "Have you considered..."

OK, so when I put myself in the shoes of the person who is being critical of me, the only reason staring me in the face is spite. They can see you take pride in what you do and they want to sabotage your good work and your positive mental state. That's what I see.

Great stuff. I don't think it's helpful for everyone to point a finger at "negativity bias". The praise is a list of things I don't need to change. Criticism is the thing I need to work on. I *should* think a lot more about the criticism than the praise. That's just practical. The question is, how do I do that productively. I don't think I understand that yet. In the example you give, I indeed wouldn't have pursued more information, because I'd assume that the boss didn't have more information, the people who complained about me don't want me to know they complained, and then I might just be sad about it. And the sadness is probably doing some job, internally, but I can't see what it's doing, so I can't help it along. I don't think we should avoid feeling the negativity. The question is, what do you do with the negative energy, do you use it to quickly and efficiently self-improve, or do you use it to wallow in suffering. I'm more of the wallowing type and I'd like to work on that, but I feel like there has to be some amount of wallowing just to take it in properly.

And then there's us who give out an instant "fawn response" to the criticism despite us knowing the critisism isn't necessarily true... 😶‍🌫

Wow! 7:1 scale😮

I know it's not popular, but I do prefer washing dishes in the morning. It works better for my arthritis

Has anyone ever told you that you look like Judy Parfitt? Specifically in Dolores Claiborne.

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I like the idea of thinking and reflecting on...was this meant to be hurtful,or he/she was trying to be a traing to make a healthy imput? Thank you for this very important video. I like if you could make one about constructive criticism ( that I tried to say before), as also,we can all take it good,or bad. Gracias de esta psicologa española en Londres,bella.💪😊🫂💕💃🌅