Sexual Desire and Non-duality

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In this discussion about sexual desire and non-duality, we explore why some sexual experiences are unsatisfying and lead to a sense of lack and some lead to true intimacy and a sense of fulfilment. How can the desire for sexual intimacy become an expression of the fullness of being that leads to deeper connection and lasting fulfilment?
Rupert explains that the reason we are attracted sexually to someone else is that we intuit that in our sexual intimacy or union, there is a loss of the sense of separation. Sexual intimacy is one of the common ways that is temporarily brought about.
The first impulse is motivated by a desire to lose one's sense of separation. We're really using the other person to lose ourselves and that's why in the end it's unsatisfactory. It does lead to a temporary loss of the sense of separation, but it doesn't lead to true intimacy. There is always a feeling that it never quite fulfils what it promised.
The second type of sexual intimacy is not motivated by the desire to lose our sense of separation, but by the fullness of being. In other words, you already feel your being is unlimited and shared. It's the second kind of desire that leads to real intimacy.
They both desire outwardly the same physical experience, but the inner experience, the place from which they come, are very different and the experience towards which they lead is very different.
Timestamps:
0:00 What Is Desire?
0:30 Why Do We Desire Sex?
1:10 How To Lose The Sense Of Separation
2:57 Ending The Sense Of Lack
4:21 True Sexual Satisfaction
5:51 How To Experience Lasting Intimacy
7:05 Sexual Desire and Non-duality
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27 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 160

@innerlight617 Год назад

9.28 "going for a walk together without saying anything is the same..." THANKS Rupert!

@consciousnessbasedcosmos Год назад

Being full and yet wants to share means there is another. That in turn means separation. So it contradicts the fullness mentioned earlier. When there is no I, there is no you. Then there is only Love in "I love you". That is true intimacy.

@MindCanTroll Год назад

It's important from a spiritual perspective that people don't see sex as impure or just being seen as lust if not having it for reproduction only, or even being shamed for having sexual feelings. It's something normal for a human. We shouldn't obsess over it, but we shouldn't repress it either.

@helvete_ingres4717 Год назад

all sexual pursuit is ultimately an investment into the world. What you call 'repression' is simply not giving your energy to the world - when you look away from the world, the only place to look is inward (ultimately to God). There's reason and wisdom in virtually all true spiritual communities in all times and places emphasising celibacy - espousing cheap hedonistic liberalism in its place is feeble pseudo-spirituality

@MindCanTroll Год назад

@@helvete_ingres4717 That is your opinion, and you have all the right to have it. If living by that code grants you the personal realization that you seek, more power to you.

@helvete_ingres4717 Год назад

@@MindCanTroll I don't live by it myself, I never claimed to be a very spiritual person . 'That is your opinion' - you speak in platitudes and are not a person of any substance or deep experience at all, you shouldn't be trying to dictate what is or isn't important 'from a spiritual perspective'. I don't mean to sound like an asshole, it worries me when I see people espouse basically the ego-indulging message society already gives you in every advertisement and every TV show it makes you to capture your attention and and calls it 'spiritual', when what we rightly call 'spiritual' is the EXCEPTION to all that, you say the RULE and pretend it's an exception. The ultimate conclusion of this is that speaking real 'spirituality' becomes impossible - that makes your message very evil and worth fighting

@Anti79Hero Год назад

🍿

@RobbeyT1 Год назад

@@helvete_ingres4717 There's always someone who knows better than you, or think they know better than you. When you write comments, never reply back to those who want to stand contrary to your own truth.

@gireeshneroth7127 Год назад

Consciousness is having its way about itself.

@user-do3qk6jw9f Год назад

So beautiful, thank you

@AlejandroMS67 Год назад

I just turned 56 this month, and crazily I am having the best "sex" of my life just recently. I'm not sure I want to call it "sex" because it really is all about "making love" to and with my partner whom I love very much. And I say crazily because I never in my wildest dreams thought that I'd be having the best love-making of my life in my 50s. In my 20s or 30s I would've been either doubtful or incredulous at such a thought. And yet here I am, here we are. When I think about it now, I realize that I am involving both wanting immensely just to please and pleasure and give to her as much as I can, as long as I can etc, without "taking" from her. But for me there is much receiving in giving too. Giving = receiving. And so I think about the physical act in the same way, I don't think of it as "me penetrating her", I think more about it like her wrapping herself around me, and letting her control more of the process in a way, and I find that this really changes my mindset and I seem to last a whole lot longer with this approach. I think she also feels more honored and respected somehow. She is also multi-orgasmic but she has neither been promiscuous nor has she been able to find the right partner with whom she could delve deeper into her capacity for multiple O's. Before she'd never had more than 3 or 4. With me she has surpassed any prior experiences several times over, MANY times over. With us it is very much the motion of the ocean and not the size of the ship (however it is also the FIT of the ship within THE particular ocean and add creativity to that as well). I don't believe this would have happened for her had I not approached her with the mind/love/physical approach that I wanted to bring and offer her. I also believe that she is a natural giver as well, and so when we come together (no pun intended), when we join together, it is wildly satisfying and beautiful because we both are such givers. In the way that there is slow food and slow wine, this is slow lovemaking. This is of course very private but I'm hoping that by sharing here, other people will take these comments to improve their intimacy with their partners, as these comments can apply to all regardless of age or gender.

@nataliaromero7760 Год назад

Wow, what a beautiful message. It’s amazing to read these words from such a conscious man. I wish every man and woman could experience something just like this. I just turned 29 and seeing that a couple I’m their 50’s are having such sexual experiences is really inspiring and something I look forward to in my life ❤🙏

@erin3292 Год назад

Beautiful 🙏🌸✨

@jacoda Год назад

And you described all of that without mentioning her age… I’m genuinely curious if you are impressed that you are enjoying this in your 50’s, or if the both of you are 😊

@mavis3916 Год назад

😐

@Vuchica2012 Год назад

I understand this although never experienced it. In my understanding the giving aspect and feeling totally comfortable with each other is one key aspect. There should be a chemical i.e.phisical compatibility too. But what resonated with me the most was this word SLOW. I'm sure that true love making is super slow. Like yin yoga. The slower the more pleasurable.

@lionspirit1111 Год назад

A person who has the words to describe the different impulses. Wow.

@yngvesognen1092 Год назад

You want to manifest the union with the other and also give what you can, not thinking about what you'll receive.

@AllGoodLongchenRabjam108 Год назад

I’ve found within this particular mind the ego will constantly seek (for a long time without any awareness of this process) to find a spiritualized way to satisfy sexual cravings. The arguments in the mind get very sophisticated and the mind will find like arguments through various sources so it can feel more validated. All I can say is that there is a 360 difference when my mind is steeped in sexualized thought vs semen retention and thoughts of mantra, service, Vedanta, prayer ext. I am a separate alone and incomplete body is such a deep false flag program in the mind, sex CAN be one of the biggest targets in the Mind to solve this seemingly deeply jarring problem. It’s wired so deeply biologically and in seeking pleasure

@WriteChords Год назад

Well said, Alex!

@ximenafuentes3522 6 месяцев назад

Beautiful, thank you so much ♥

@johnanthonycafe2993 Год назад

Well put.

@pilargarcia6724 Год назад

Muchísimas gracias!!!❤🙏😊

@parvaji Год назад

"No sex please. We are British." Can't remember where this phrase comes from (must be a movie). But i am glad that this obviously doesn't seem to apply to our dear friend Rupert. Since i see sex as something totally natural. And therefore an essential part of spirituality = conscious loving and living.

@yog.prachar Год назад

so insightful. thank you

@Biernat82 Год назад

my God !!! 🙏💟 thank you thank you thank you!!! 🙏, beauty beauty beauty💟!!! all my life just feels this way 🕉

@mmrebelo55 Год назад

Is Rupert speaking about karezza? What do you think?

@epicfreakshow Год назад

excellent 🙏🏼

@margemaple6091 Год назад

to be truly free , is to be free of desires and not enslaved to them. this is not easy but the process is liberating in itself. true oneness is found within , to unify mind , body and soul with the true source of all creation. if you are seeking happiness from satisfaction of the physical, the cycle will be un ending and tormenting. Good luck with your journey !

@lewisliew6479 Год назад

Non duality= we as a human species, Desire = the individual being.

@DrummerJay74 9 месяцев назад

non-duality is neither this or that. That's still duality.

@tonyhayes9827 Год назад

The second form is rightly ordered

@shirinvenkat Год назад

Although this is understood but why then is one selective for sexual intimacy. Is it ok for a realised being to have intercourse with one and all? Obviously this is a mind question but it is troublesome having seen several Gurus excusing themselves for what would be termed promiscuity to say the least.

@hemanthjha3080 Год назад

Little did I know, is it helpful or obstacle to non duality.

@Suzisart Год назад

Divine beings make divine love ❤️

@Suzisart Год назад

@thx 1138 upon reflection its cringe but.....I don't care 😅💞

@Suzisart Год назад

@thx 1138 well let's see....anyone comment creeping is considered banal so... takes allsorts to make a world you be best just being cool 😎

@Iinfiniteknowing Год назад

Tantric union with your loved one

@shinji5967 7 месяцев назад

Present at the beginning,

@lingeshsawanth253 Месяц назад

'Sense of Separation' causes 'pain/pleasure' and 'pain/pleasure' causes 'sense of separation', it's a LOOP!, As long as there's 'sense of separation' any amount of accumulation of pleasures caused by objects will not bring fulfilment, contentment. To let go the 'sense of separation' is the only permanent solution! LET GO n REJOICE! 🙂

@Mantras-and-Mystics Месяц назад

❤️💚💛

@GemDentith Год назад

❤

@JohnMartim-sy9yf 3 месяца назад

So, in a perfect body there is no sexual desire and yet, the pleasure might be much greater. Is that so?

@MattyLiam333 8 месяцев назад

I think this was the most lovely thing I've ever heard described in my entire life.

@geetapatil9837 Год назад

🙏🏼✨🙌

@michaelbuhlmann6167 Год назад

🙏❤️🙏

@leighcecil3322 Год назад

Spiritual healing...sexual in tantric intimacy with another of the opposite sex is love in motion a closeness that continues in just making a cup of tea.. the beauty of creation.. namista to all 🙏

@ntitlme 5 месяцев назад

At 2’58 Rupert mixes up the word ‘celebration’ with the word ‘separation’. Freud would have been amused.

@Per_se 10 месяцев назад

Putting in words what I feel deeply connected to perception Thank you

@Herkimerdiamond Год назад

🙏

@agnieszkag.5170 Год назад

This is what I practice now, total letting go of sexual desire. This is easy when sex promised enjoyment of intimasy, sexuality and turned out to never make it true. My sexual partners didn't even wanted hold me in their arms, never, not only in bed, what for to do such a things with someone who is used for a moment of pleasure, but is not loved. This is obvious for me I wasn't loved in my relationships, that's why I don't need sexual desire anymore. I am surrendering those energies as these never had any good purpose in my life.

@kevinmai2947 10 месяцев назад

Well said ❤

@kolarz2128 9 месяцев назад

Milosc powinna byc podstawą dla energii seksualnych, bez niej one nie sa satysfakcjonujace a raczej wywoluja pustke w naszych wnetrzach :)

@agnieszkag.5170 9 месяцев назад

@@kolarz2128 Podczas ostatniej relacji miałam aktywne kundalini w swoim ciele. Właściwie nadal mam i tak juz od 10 lat. Po stosunku z partnerem czułam 10minutowy paraliż ciała. Nie było to jakoś przyjemne. Po masturbacji nigdy nie doświadczyłam czegoś takiego. Może dlatego, ze jego energia jakoś przechodziła na mnie. Trudno jest czuć pustkę jak się stosuje medytację uważności w codziennym życiu. Mimo to zawsze interesowali się mną faceci egoistyczni, którzy mnie nie kochali, ewentualnie tylko trochę mnie wyr...ali.

@kolarz2128 9 месяцев назад

@@agnieszkag.5170 rozumiem. A to że przez 10 lat Ci tak zostało prawdopodobnie coś w Tobie się zamknęło, jakbyś straciła nadzieję, że inaczej być nie może, a może! ;)

@agnieszkag.5170 9 месяцев назад

@@kolarz2128 Nie chce już nic. Mam nareszcie swój dom, czuję sie bezpiecznie i dbam i troszcze się o siebie i czasami całymi dniami nic nie robię. Dobrze mi jest. Śpiewam, tańczę, sadzę kwiaty i nie golę się i nie stroję i mam te relacyjne bzdety daleko gdzieś. W relacjach byłam zmęczona i sfrustrowana oczekiwaniami, którym nie umiałam sprostać. W ostatnią relację weszłam, bo wierzyłam, że już tak jestem wymedytowana i oświecona, że stworzę piękna relację, pełną zaufania, miłości i szacunku, ale byłam naiwna. A z kundalini to jest tak, że czasem kundalini, a czasami energetyczne centra się otwierają. Różne są te energie i wibracje w ciele. Kundalini lubię najmniej. Chyba najbardziej lubię jak serce się otwiera i umysł cichnie i sama obecność i taka harmonia. Kundalini się pojawia jak jakieś dysharmonie się dzieją z tego co zauważyłam.

@atmannityananda-autognosia Год назад

Sexual lust is like fire and whoever plays with it is very difficult (if not impossible) not to get burned.!

@sunisagotirat1332 Год назад

🙏💞🫂💝

@atmannityananda-autognosia Год назад

Desire for sex pleasure doesn't come from the fullness of the being. It is the lusty lascivious ego that wants sexual.pleasure and especially orgasmic pleasure. Lust can take also the face of an angel, but is only lust. Only through Purification of the mind, increase of the sattva guna in the mind and the weakening of lust sexual union can be a meditative union. Theories of Non-Duality or any other spiritual path do not count in this process. Only rigorous, sincere systematic practice and strong will, determination, patience and perseverance to get rid of lust and craving is what really matters.

@pug7053 Год назад

appreciate the hard truth.

@xerylemountain7154 Год назад

Giggle…

@antoniodomene Год назад

Why Do We Desire Sex? As a man, sexual desire is connected to the pure instinct to create life and at the same time to obtain satisfaction/pleasure. Normally, the desire for sex is connected with the production of sperm and prostatic fluid, when our "reservoirs" are full the mind creates a " series of mental experiences " in order to discharge the sperm. At the age of 12 or earlier, we awake in the morning with our underpants tinted with sperm. When we are mature and sexual desire arises with our wife/partner, then we are not " here and now" with her, we are repeating the experiences of the past with our partner or with somebody else. So, men, we are looking always to repeat the most gratifying experience that we had in the past and not in the present moment. A simple example is that we are always in a state of Like & Dislike, meaning that if I eat Cherries now, immediately the taste memory will compare these cherries with the ones that were the best in the past.

@Truthshouldalwaysbetold Год назад

A much more simple explanation is that we desire sex because we desire intimacy. Intimacy is why we are here, intimacy is how we come to know anything. We are literally dying to love each other, death is that longing, intimacy is to get lost in other as we cannot truly find ourselves until we do. Death is the orgasm

@antoniodomene Год назад

@@Truthshouldalwaysbetold You have to find your own experience and understanding based on your experience, NOT on conceptual knowledge. It has no sense to talk about the sex of the angels.

@Truthshouldalwaysbetold Год назад

@@antoniodomene And you are not an angel right now so it does you no good to talk from the lofty space like you are one.

@antoniodomene Год назад

No comments..:-)))

@Truthshouldalwaysbetold Год назад

@@antoniodomene Also all words are conceptual knowledge, which is why trying to use them to describe ourselves keeps us running in circles. When we try we think we know something someone else does not, that is when we speak from that lofty place.

@MrMafiaboss1234 Год назад

God is Greater than non-duality.

@spelunkerofbutts6136 Год назад

I dont see the difference

@markhenry2726 Год назад

@@spelunkerofbutts6136 dear, Spelunker of Butts, thou sage and wiseman, I must say that I agree entirely. Whether one is exploring the caverns of anal cavities, enjoying an ice cream or chopping down a tree, perfect unity is the reality of every experience. Keep uncovering the secrets of the brown star and rest eternally in the heart of God. P.S. Religious zealots begone. If you cannot see the divine in a butt, how then can you see the divine anywhere else? All is one, God's being is my being and the being of butts everywhere. Namaste 🙏 P.S. P.S. if it is not yet clear, Divinity is present in everything, even in the ridiculous and, canst thou imagine, even in the seemingly sacrilegious. Don't take yourself too seriously, it doesn't exist after all.