I left my ex AFTER 11yrs for the same reason. He brought a ring when I left thinking that would get me back. I was dating several men. They showed me how much I was too content! I didn’t have to cook or clean for them. Gave up no cookie! Well 13months later I was married and pregnant. 4mos after my 1st child were pregnant again lol my ex definitely wasn’t hitting NOTHING! Btw I moved out and left him with all the furniture. Got my own new everything bc I planned my leave for 6-8months. Didn’t let him see me. Eventually changed my number. Changed my car. Made sure I was hard to find because men like to kill women like us. Our absence make them go crazy cause they KNOW THEY WILL NEVER FIND ANOTHER US. Move on ladies.
Personally Nickie I love your moving out strategy 👏👏👏👏 you were highly conscious of the risk. Ghosting was necessary. I wish other women will be so aware, especially those in domestic violence situations. GHOST!
@Bufftygirl 72 oh yesss. I heard a few months ago that he is skinny/like sick looking skinny. And still try’s to bring me up in EVERY conversation. He can’t move on. Still single. And knows nothing about my children. He act confused as if I wasn’t warning him for years!
@@countrylay_d4389 I really do wish they would understand the importance of planning accordingly. Some of us don’t make it out safely. Their insecurities won’t let us go. Their guilt won’t allow them to see their wrongs. And their ego won’t make them face that you literally don’t want them...none of them! My ex actions after I left showed me that he could have definitely harmed me even though I wasn’t being abused. I watch too much tv and knew his life would change bc he was a dusty that didn’t believe in saving.
This is why our grandmother's told us don't give boyfriends wife privileges. There's no shortage of women out here willing to play wife or house. Recognize your value and move on, like he said. But do it for you, not him.
A woman will always audition for the position! She has no choice, particularly in terms of a great deal of modern day women! Men and women don't get what they deserve, they get what they are capable attracting!
You gave very sound advice. If a man wants to marry a woman, he won't waste time. If you have to beg, make any ultimatums or compromise any way. Then leave because he really doesn't want to with *you*.
@Error Report That's some BS. And yeah she definitely compromised herself somewhere in their relationship. It was difficult off camera for a while for it end like that. And he used her for views.
If you actually wanted to be with the man for himself, and not legal and financial perks, you would just be with him and not be trying to get him to marry you in the first place.
There is no difference. Marriage does not Inherently gift you anything. You can be life long partners and have a far better relationship than someone who doesn't want to get married
@@Denzz2There is a difference but it only pertains to how much the man can get reamed financially when the relationship ends. From the perspective of men who increasingly understand this reality, his girlfriend fails the test of loving him for who he is the moment she starts to talk about marriage.
If a woman wants you she'll be with you regardless of marriage status, which only has a tangible effect upon the end of the relationship. All these men don't want to marry women because they can see this marriage talk for the blatant exit planning that it really is. They're practicing self preservation.
Thank you for this message. A relative let a so called “love of her life” waste her time for 6 long years. Their relationship ended and he moved on marrying the new woman within a year of courting, bought a house together and everything. She never got over it. Fast forward 23 years later, age 54 still unmarried and no kids, she still thinks he’s still the love of her life contact and end up hooking up with him, he’s still married but tells her he’s separated, gets her on her back, dumps her then go back to his wife. It’s a mess. 54 years old and still being lied to and getting played by grown boys.
@Alysia Williams yes, and it’s a serious issue, another woman I know wasted 15 years of her life with a red pill beta male, end up depleting her life savings, had her constantly on rotation. Both women became so depressed to a point of wanting to commit suicide. My advice to women is if he’s not stepping up to take the relationship to the next level, within a year gone bought your business, never enter a relationship with a scarcity mindset, thinking this is the only one. There are 4 billion more men out there. Your husband is out there.
Wow...and people think I'm crazy bc I don't won't to deal with this. We all make mistakes but only God can heal you and get you out the side chick mindset. Men know who they want to build with and boys know who to play with! God bless us all💗
This video gave me the courage to end things with my boyfriend. We've been together a year and a half. He wasn't giving me any indication that he was thinking of a future with me. I brought up the subject and he was vague and shared that he wasn't ready in so many words. He told me he didn't want to lose me, but he also wasn't ready to do what it would take to keep me. So as painful as it was, I walked away. It hurts, but I wholeheartedly believe what you say. If he is for me, he will do what it takes to make it right. If not, then I just made room for the right one.
Update: Everything you said in the video happened. I walked away and prepared myself to move on. Almost a month later, my boyfriend came back and asked me to give us another chance. He shared what he was doing to prepare for me to be in his life long term. Since we've been back together he has definitely shown me with his actions that he values our relationship. He's still on probation, but I think we're going to be just fine. This break was definitely needed and served a purpose for both of us. Ladies, do not be afraid to walk away. This advice is spot on.
@@ttj3v Hi Toni, thanks for sharing your story. Would you mind giving an update how it is going now? I've been with my bf for roughly two years and he says he wants to get married and have a family. He hasn't proposed though and my feeling tells me he won't anytime soon. And I can't even blame him as I broke up with him a couple of times during those two years (not at all related to him not proposing). I wouldn't trust me either if I was him. Not sure how I can change that..
Dont bring all that if you dont marry me I will do this talk....let him see you emotionally walk out......if he ain't giving you that ring..simply put...he dont think you deserve it...so give the space to the woman he will give the ring to and move on...these are the type of men who marry someone in two weeks and you wonder why...dont force a man to marry you
I know several women in this position..with men 5,10 years. Good women having kid, holding up their men and the guys saying ' they looking on still to see if she's worthy of marriage.' wife without marriage! That's what these women settle for. Come on women, have more respect for yourselves.
Point blank. It doesn't take a man YEARS to know if YOU'RE the ONE! While you're serving as a PLACEHOLDER for a man who doesn't WANT YOU, it only DELAYS your opportunity to meet the man that does want you! With that said, ladies, never ever underestimate the value of SOLITUDE and PEACE!
The longest relationship I’ve been in was 2.5 yrs. I broke it off but he did not want me to go so he would verbally & emotionally abuse me to try & control me. So I planned in advance to disappear. The apartment was in my name only; ended the lease. The car is mine; repossessed it. I have 2 jobs plus school refund checks & tax returns; no way to depend on him, HA!🤣 Changed my #, blocked him on all social media platforms, & moved to my parents house. I made SURE he couldn’t find me OR have me back. I’m enjoying my freedom, I get to date men on my level, get to hang with my friends & travel. Finishing school and working for a high end company. No kids.
@@coolrunnings1936 within a year of the relationship and one of his fat side chicks called me a created a drama between the 3 of us. Ever since then I never trusted him. I even questioned why he was with me if he likes fat girls. So I did all I could to leave but that’s when he became abusive and tried to control me
@@msgonsalves3668 ok i hear that. thats life... we live and learn right!? i dont know your age but try not to have a relationship with your work. you seem like a good girl and im sure you'll make a great wife if thats what you desire to be? just dont wait till over 35 because it'll be a lot harder to find the man you want? im in my 30's myself and i wouldn't marry a woman close to my age for various reasons e.g. i want 3 or more kids and being over 30 can complicate things. but hey thats just me! 😁
Too many of these grown boys don't want a good woman , they want someone to take care of them. They don't want a good & strong person to spend their lives with - a true wife. If a man wants to be a husband he's not going to be afraid of commitment and responsibility. He will considerate it a privilege to find a woman of value.
You sho telling the truth young man. I have experienced that. A man will not do no more than what you allow him! I have walked away from 1 man putting off marriage. It was hard but I was fed up. Had enough. I was good enough to shack up but not marry, .............. believe me, I had my own cars, bought my first house at age 21, ( I was 43) Good job and common sense. After I left and met some one that knew my worth, he was begging/ crying to come back and even proposed, but it was too late. It's been 17 years and he still regrets it. Mind you I just wasted one year on him.
I swear so many ppl don’t realize a persons worth and how much value they added to their life until they’re gone. It’s so sad. This goes for friends too. If you have solid person that cares about you, please show them genuine appreciation.
Crazy when u invested time and gave ur heart and feel established and do all that and they won’t choose u but when u leave they will choose someone else. I feel so worthless as a woman. Feel like all these married women have the code to something I don’t. I’m staring from the outside. Successful in every area of my life but still unmarried. It’s depressing. I left and he moved on
I'll be walking next year. Married me knowing that I wanted children, then constantly dodged the topic for almost 16 years. She played wife without the commitment so he knows that he doesn't have to give more of himself. If she has the means to leave now just leave.
I'm learning this. Men invest in who they see a future with period. Men are simple. 6 months in a offical relationship is all it takes for a man to know your the one.
1. DUDE: DONT DRIVE while u are filming a video!! your attention is split/diverted away from the road!! TOO dangerous! 2. GALS: DONT chase the guys! u can let them know u r interested but DONT have sx with them, DONT live with them, DONT chase them!! and DONT look for a spouse in a bar or club etc...BAD IDEA. u ASK GOD to BRING you the right one!! 3. My bf was talking marriage within 60 days; now happily married for almost 50 yrs!!
@@KOMEDYQUEEN even when she gets married she not going to have piece of mind that's how slow women are y'all think marriage going to cure something instead of working something out when you have a good one you throw it away over a piece of paper 😁
Well. I just broke up with my 3 year-bf because he doesn't know when he will be ready to marry me and I found this video. Thank you so much for your advice! It means a lot🥰
Boyfriend? After high school, maybe college, that whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing is dead in the water. Single people need to date around, live life and have fun. I didn’t do that boyfriend/girlfriend mess and I still got married. Dating doesn’t equate to sex for the slow people who think it does.
THIS! How destined this is, I literally walked away from a 2,5 year relationship yesterday, and today I found your vids. Only difference that my ex partner would make empty promises VERY early on in our relationship - he, since August 2021, kept telling me how he will marry me, how we will have kids, how we will get old together, and I am the love of his life. After he hurt me in an argument a few days back, I came to the point: I gave him an ultimatum. It's his time to make those promises true or let them be empty ones. Needless to say, he said he is financially not stable for it (just another excuse in my book, he's not down bad). But God knows he won't stop me no more in finding my husband.
Well the other problem is that the VAST majority of men and I'm talking about a particular group of men are NOT husband material LOL...cheaters; baby daddies 3, 4, 5 times over; can't afford to take care of themselves let alone a wife and children; and can we talk about the domestic violence...it's bad out here for women looking for a husband...and even if you meet a man who DOESN'T have any of those things going on then there's other issues that arise...him acting like he's the prize (you know the type of feminine men I'm talking about); then him being stingy with his time, money and resources but expecting you to give your ALL; the wanting to "keep you in your place" instead of uplifting you...so it's hard out here and most men don't even WANT a wife---what they want is a maid, child barer and someone that will basically be their sex slave...and even when you're doing those things if he's got a wandering eye he'll be looking for other women soon enough...VET all men but there's a particular group of men you're just going to have to leave ALONE altogether...I'll let the ladies draw their own conclusions about the group of men I'm talking about...
I know this is old, but im struggling with this now. A good woman i know loves me n would be a good wife but not exactly the kind of woman i saw myself with.
@@marquesridley2464 I suppose the question is whether you love her and want to build a life with her. It takes two even if she loves you if you don't love her back it won't work
Take the advice I wish I was given 17 years ago if you have kids with a man before you two are married then don't give them babies his last name until you 2 are married until then you carried and birthed them babies and it's mostly you that's going to be taking care of them babies, then you and your children should share the same last name.
I believe there is a healthy boundary for both parties in which they “play house”. I don’t believe it is in our best interest to treat your boyfriend/ girlfriend as your husband/ wife. Especially when it is one sided, then that means the giver should engage in some self work. There is a difference between what you want vs what is happening right before your eyes. Be true to yourself. We can’t expect our partners to be true to us when we are not true to ourselves.
Agree with 💯. I could be some of your listeners auntie (if they’re in their 20’s ☺️) so I say ditto to your statements! A man will “breadcrumb you when he knows you’re never going to leave”. If and when you do, THAT’S when MOST of them will feel it.
Women you have to know your worth love yourself first you are beautiful and wonderfully made by God put God and you in the equation because God is love and you are too romance God before you Romance a man because God is a jealous God that's why you not getting what you do need in the love category because you are acting desperate don't be desperate for nothing or nobody but God, why buy the cow when you get milk free if you don't make a man work for it to him you are just easy the best thing you can do for yourself is tell a man no they do not like that word let them be the chaser of you leave something for the imagination show him what he can have because if you don't somebody else will a man is supposed to enhance you not validate you God is the only person is supposed to validate Q
Never move in with a man before marriage and if he's not showing you signs that he's ready for marriage while dating leave. Don't let your bf make you miss out on your husband.
All y’all worried about is money. I want a commitment before god. You can have your money and all that other shit, it really hurts to see what y’all value. I have my own things
If he can't appreciate you unmarried. What the hell is he going to do when he does? Stop throwing your pearls before swine. As a matter of fact, that asshole will run when he thinks someone else is getting it. But don't play games, just find someone else.
Ppl don’t even need to come here if they wanna live in a fantasy lol. This is the channel that gives you a dose of calm reality. That intro prolly made some ppl’s blood pressure panic 😂😂
Thank you for being honest and open for this woman... ❤ Love the advice... there is no more dating in that scenario the qualification for him to receive the services and goods you provide is engagement at this point. No ring we need to just keep it moving 💯😌
Ive been with my man over 4 years now. My cut off time is 5 years and 5 years will be in August next year. No ring by then, im gone. Were both 28 years old and neither one of us has kids. He says he wants me and says I'm the only woman he wants, yet no ring. He doesnt have much time left.
I'm wondering what happened. All this catering to her man. I thought he is suppose to cater to her, a good thing. Please ladies stop. When a woman give ultimatums We're begging. Cut your loses. And thank the LORD.
Let's get this plain & simple, really you want him to marry you, really? You gave him everything, what does he have to look forward to ? Dude on to another chapter in a different book my advice to this woman keep it moving
I have the ring, I have the kids with him.. been living with him for at least 5 years in the house we got together under HIS NAME. I’m a stay at home mom & common law isn’t in my state! so basically if he decides one day that he wants to kick me out and make me start over, he can. Finally told him marriage or gone. He doesn’t care/ why in the world are men letting go not only good women who take care of them, but their kids too?! Wtf
From his perspective the ability to kick you out is his only mechanism to ensure he isn't trapped in a relationship if you bait and switch, using your newfound security as a platform to treat him like garbage. But of course you are a good person who doesn't plan on doing anything like that, so what's the problem?
There are a lot of women in such situations. I am black woman and I have never lived with a man. I will never live and act like wife but never the wife. When I was young this happened to our neighbour. I thought they were husband & wife until one day. He put all her clothes and everything she owns on the front lawn and changed the locks. It was then I realised that they were not married and it was that day I decided that I would never lived/shack up with a man who is not my husband. He is getting the golden goose without paying for it. It a lesson parents should teach their children and let the man show respect to you/women.
Well said I've seen it in my family talked about it even when I said something about that even an elderly person very close to us said the same both male and female. If the person you are with for a long period and can't give you the respect and your place the way it supposed to be it's a sign to move out. There's no progress and no attention towards what you are expecting so, love thy self and there will always be someone that's willing to be and go the extra mile together with you. Thanks for sharing this awesome video.🙏🏼🙏🏼✊🏾✊🏾💕💕💖💖🔥
Not being bitchy. You can still be a wholesome,loving girlfriend while mantaining standards and learning to match the energy you receive in the relationship. Also be 100% honest that you want marriage before kids and all the permanent stuff,if that is what you want. You can be a good girlfriend without giving sex, your womb or playing house,unless you decide you want to live otherwise
@@Moratuoa12 I’ve tested this theory.. men were always respectful and gave me the world when I was mean asf to them. They didn’t want to do anything for me when I was wholesome even when I did stand entirely on my standards
Yepp do not beg if he doesnt feel it he doesnt feel it . Dont force it , then you will get the mariage by default . And that shameful. It okay to want what u want . But it not ok to force it into someone else . She just leave . And if he really wants her … hes gonna come back period. If he doesn’t then perfect . You have the space and time to be with ur man
Hem i aint playing house wife for my bf . I will care for him as he does . And i will love him. Once we leave together i will still cater for him. But i ain ironing no clothes . Nah ur no my husband
My boyfriend of nearly 4 years still says us lived together is too hard and may break us up. So after 3 warnings...I finally said bye today. Now hes crying and shit. You marreid yoir ex, you moved in with her. If im the better partner why you still mentioning her and nor trying to provide for me? I provide for him, need money? Bam here you go. Need to talk bam im here But he will never progress us. His face *surprised pikachu
This is me thank you I needed to hear this thank you. --- how LONG do you need to make them work? And how quickly does he need to do the things he was supposed to be doing?
I agree. I guess I was just an option to my ex, he did come back but I declined and he never tried again. A waistfull 10years. I’ll be 30 soon, I’m happy I don’t have kids but I hope to one day meet someone ready for marriage and children. I just want to share happiness with someone with the same interest
So he should sign a piece of paper that says if she leaves for any reason, regardless if she cheated, she gets the house, the kids, and alimony and he can live with his parents or in his car while he continues to bust his ass at work? Men need to stop marrying until family court becomes fair. 50/50 custody only and the person who put more equity in the house keeps it.
Just propose to him, and if he runs you saved time. Men may be holding off just out of pure laziness or financial or some other stupid reason. Easy to just propose yourself.
Be careful what you wish for, sounds like he's not worth it. Someone I wanted to want to marry me, I came to find out that's all I wanted was for him to want to, because now I'm so fed up I wouldn't marry him if he wanted to, but I'm not going to tell him that. If someone can't fulfill your Cinderella dreams, they'll only end up destroying your dreams, you can try to get him to want to, but don't ever actually marry a, "Boy" like that. Keep your eyes open, until you find better.
The men in my fam always said its only 2 reasons..either their finances are not in where they want it to be or they actually really dont want to marry u.
I been in a long term relationship for 5 years. I told my boyfriend that's what I eventually want. He wants that also but we are only 22 so I don't really trip about the fact that he hasn't proposed cause we still so young and are still focusing on our careers and saving up.
Yes. You're young. However, if you're "old enough" to be "sexing and shacking" then you're old enough to be married. Nevertheless, since YOU ARE young, I would encourage celibacy. If you're not willing to do that, due to having formed sexual soul-ties, then consider dating other people. Who you are 22 will not remain the same as you continue aging and maturing. P.S. You don't have to have sex with everyone you happen to date. JMHO.
Well said and explained and I know that because some men and women said that it's not so important to be that. But one thing I was thought and see for myself is if you are in a relationship and show no interest in what you are and what you are doing, not even involved them selves at least in talk or show some time to the person that means not into the formal thing. But don't want commitment to marriage. So don't forget always love you cause there's always looking for a valuable jewel so lovel thy self and move on. Thanks for sharing such powerful video and keep up the good spirit.💞 One Love.👊 Blessings to you and family members.👑
I was just talking to this Nigerian chick who was telling me about her having twins and when I asked her if she had a husband if she said “something like that, a fiancé” lol I know exactly what that means😂 he better lock her down before I do. Mmm she got that 🎂
