Don't be fooled Ladies, a man KNOWS when he wants a woman as his wife and he will make sure you know it too...you won't have to ask. If this doesn't sound like your relationship, count your losses and move on.
Definitely agree. Men know what and who they want. No need to waste my time. No need to keep hearing I don't know about a commitment. I'll make it easy for you and move on.
Yes he just “enjoyed” me. He said to me many times that he enjoy my company, he enjoy to talk to me. So after almost 3 years of the “enjoyment” I let him “enjoy” his alone time
Did he enjoy sex ? That’s why they don’t marry you. You gave it when he wanted it. Then he stopped wanting it. Does that sound familiar ? Then you was only a sex object toy for him. And not married can dump you Anytime he want men like that are nuts in the head.
@@maranatha8768 No, we did not sleep together. We both are Christians and we know we have to wait until we get marry first...but I know he doesn't sees me is the one. He just enjoyed my company
he enjoys being with me for many years, he enjoys texting me every night before bed and spending the rare days off from work all day with me. But none of this means anything unless he is contractually obligated to do so. All that matters to me is that he values and understands the concept of marriage. And with anything spiritual or morality based, it is not a box you check and you're done, it is a daily practice. It is normal to question our stance on these moral and religious topics. I think a man is foolish to dive into marriage and not be skeptical. Even though it frustrates me at times, I truly respect the fact my bf is unsure about marriage. I am frustrated because I have meditated about it and I know it's truly for me and I don't understand why he doesn't feel the same. I know if he meditate he will hear from god that it's what's best for him... or maybe that it's not his destiny and why would I want to change that (if that is truly the path he needs to be on). At the end of the day I love him and only him and I'm not going anywhere..... hey isn't that the basis of marriage? While your partner is having doubts you should always be there, during and before marriage. Getting a ring isn't the top of my priorities I just want a true connection with someone.
Cash4Fruit Marriage is so much more. Your man doesn't want to be committed. You're right he enjoys you and it 'feels' like love. A bf/gf can't make life decisions , but a husband and wife can.
Cash4Fruit this is a huge mistake women make, thinking men feel like we do. we love way more fully than they do and w/out reservations while they are usually logical and cold about relationships. in their mind they have to work and sacrifice to appreciate something and if he's not doing that for u then most likely he doesnt care as much as u do. they also value their freedom a whole lot, whereas women in general want to settle down. a man who will give up his freedom for u is saying a whole lot. right now u are just assuming he feels the same way u do and thats usually not the case.......
Woonz You’re eliminating a part of life that has the potential to be the most fulfilling experience you’ve ever had all because a cunt (or two) didn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Why allow someone who I’m assuming you are no longer involved with be the determining factor on how you’ll live the rest of your life. Why let your an ex influence your future? The irony of MGTOW is that it’s suppose to empower men and free you from the burden of women but it simultaneously reflects the control you still allow women to have over you. The entire movement is centered around what level of intimacy you’ll allow yourself to have with a woman.
I've been proposed to 7 times, most proposals were given as a remedy to what should have been an apology. I refuse to marry for the sake of having a wife title, he must be committed to building and growth together, not for him to drop down and hand over a ring after a heated argument, in an attempt to make me stay. #LoveOverLikes
Proposed to by the same man 3 times, 4 other times by 4 other guys. I usually get the proposal once I'm one foot out the door. And just like Derrick said you never want to pressure a man into marrying you. Thank God I never fell for any of those falsehoods.
Great advice. For any woman who've got their life together and are looking for a family, particularly 27, 30+, don't stick around the guy who's in the making and confused. Find the man who's made. Within 6 mos, tops 1 yr, no ring on that finger: NEXT. Don't be afraid of walking away from what looked like a good relationship especially if the guy mentioned he does someday want to start a family. You might've been conned and he might been too comfortable. Take it from someone who's been burned wasted 3 yrs of my life. Gave the next guy 6mo proposal time and now 5 yrs later happily married with kids.
me moi First and foremost, I would like to say that that’s really great that you’re now happily married with the right man. That sucks that you wasted 3 years with a man who wouldn’t commit to you. I can relate. I wasted 4 years of my life with a first love that I loved and trusted. I had to cut him loose (since late July 2017) when I realized he’s not the right man for me. There were red flags that I almost failed to see, too. I had to learn the hard way of who he truly is. All I can do is look at this as a learning experience and learn what type of man to accept and to not accept into my life.
My husband asked me after seriously dating a year. I said that I loved him but we were too young, (21&23) Eleven years later I finally married him, he had been waiting on me😆😆😆. 18 years together and then he passed away, my one and only true love. I miss you baby😥😥😥
I’m listening to this with tears streaming. He looked me in the eyes and told me he will never marry me. My only choice was to leave, and I have left. I had to ask myself, was I being stubborn? Was I being ungrateful? I wasn’t. I was being true to my soul, a soul which was created with the architecture of covenant with love. If I deny the way that I am, my values, the constitution of my soul, then I am useful to nobody. For all of us who believe in matrimony, hold with faith. Your love will be delivered
Aliya Rahman I’m so sorry, Aliya. I hope you are blessed to find a man who will cherish you and love you forever. Nobody deserves to be told “ I will never marry you”. Keep your head up 💕
I'm sorry that you had to ebdure that evil man...because all he had to do was break up with you...not say"I'm never marrying you"....anyway you have to be stronger....when a person shows you who they are...believe it...and move on!
Watching this after an argument with my boyfriend and after 4 years I genuinely realize this man is just wasting my time and is not serious about marriage. Wasted time sucks and trust my heart hurts BUT I will be okay! I know what I’m worth! After 4 years, I am single again 💕
And I broke with my bf today too I told him I want to marry one day and ask him about his opinion he just paused and then said idk yet I was heartbroken 💔 we dated for 2 years now we will be friends … let’s see how that works hmm i didn’t want to end in bad germs cause we been thru a lot and made memories even tho we have bad ones but also good buy I guess he’s not the one and maybe my one is out there and I will find him one day ..
The majority of men go through a whole list of women before they settle.If you need to practice on that many women to get yourself ready for me then you can keep your proposal.
Woonz damn you speaking facts you know your shit man where you get all this knowledge from? You upload videos or something ? I need to check you out lol
Wowwwwww!!! I never thought of it that way. A man "Enjoying" you. That is truly eye opening. I almost feel like I might be "Enjoyed" right now instead of loved.. I needed to hear this!!
Yes ladies enjoying you sums it up.@Crystal yes it makes you mad. Time and energy we will never get back. Now my deadline is within two years. No ring and a date I'm done with him. I'm not being engaged for years with no man period! So over it my patience no zero tolerance for time wasters!
Another reg flag I missed out on be careful of the guy who labels you as wifey... But no actions. He keeps referring to you as his wife. And yet....when marriage talk happens he feels like he's suffocating, time ain't right or it's just a piece of paper.
I did it for 15 years 3 kids. And he did not marry me. I wasted years of my life thinking that he will one day. I was good to him, but It never seemed like I was good enough. I left after 15 years. I decided to put God first.
Lisa Jade: Then, you will miss your chance several times. It takes time to really know someone. Don't go too fast you will burn yourself. Sometimes, it takes at least 2 years. Need to make sure.... last thing you want is having regrets or having children with a man that will give you heart aches and headaches!!
I eloped with my husband after a year of dating, been married for 12 years now with 2 kids, he surprised me with a trip to city hall on his birthday, which happen to be April 1st, I thought he was pulling an April Fool's prank but he was serious and I already fell in love with him. Our parents were mad that they didn't witness our wedding but later that year we held our wedding at my grandmother's house so our families can witness our union. Been happy ever since. No way in hell I'm going to be like J. Hud.
I was proposed to on April 1st too. Only it’s been 4 years and he still hasn’t set a date and avoids conversations about it 😆. I’m guessing mine was just a cruel joke. I stopped wearing the ring recently. I refuse to have something on my finger that says I’m taken when he refuses it to be official. No thanks. I’m glad yours worked out though. Some of us waste years on something that will never be.
my godmother was with this man for almost 30 years. i grew up thinking they were married and his 'ex' wife lived on the other side of town. When she told me they were split up i was like HUH! I was butthurt because i adored him. No sooner than she said that she said " I told his ass to go back to his wife". I was like, excuse me, WIFE? She was like yea, they wasn't divorced and i got tired of telling him to divorce her so we could get married. I had to clutch my pearls and grab a chair. she looked at me like I was crazy. I was like, what a damn minute! you mean all these years you were NOT married. She responded, Girl, hell naw. I was done. Oh and he moved back in with her (he moved into the basement) The ex wife spent all these years telling everyone that he was going to come 'back' to her. He did come back (30 years later) and she died 30 days later. and after her death, he still kept calling my godmother telling her they should get back together and get married. She was like, kick rocks. she turned around and married HER ex husband. I hollared
The fact that marriage is more important than the actual guy you are with and you are prepared to leave him shows just how much of a bad deal woman are.
@@dickbanger8924 wow what a wonderful mindset you have. Surely with that attitude you're on the road to finding true love 👌 this has nothing to do w women discarding "good" men & everything to do with a woman refusing to keep a "boy" afraid of commitment. And setting boundaries for oneself. If you had a stipulation of sex in a relationship & you dated a woman who stopped..you would stay with her forever? 🤔 yea didn't think so
#5 is what he literally said... "We're enjoying each other, why mess it up with marriage". And I wasn't the one who mentioned the topic, it was his boy who asked him when was he going to marry me. That's when I knew it was pointless to stay with him.
I think it's SO weird for anyone to spend years with another person, especially if they're living together, and secretly know that person is not the one they're going to marry. And it seems men do this more often than women. It's like faking a real relationship. Why bother then??? And besides, living with and sleeping with this person long term and the man feels no attachment or loss if she walks out? WEIRD
kristin lee I've seen this all before! It just means he loves all the benefits of playing house for his selfish reasons but as soon as she mentions the business and responsibility of something like marriage, where it involves her benefiting or depending on him permanently- he's gone. It's just the sign that he does love you but because you made it comfortable and convenient for him, not because he wanted to marry you.
Wow just saw this...let me say back in the day, black women felt they Had to have a man, any man, to be a woman and they wd stay with married men for years. It was almost a given. Women on a hunt for any man. I knew women who had good husbands and went hunting anyway. One hooked up with her husbands best friend. They had a child too but her husband didnt divorce her. He stayed until he died in his sleep.
This just sounds like the man enjoying you that he was speaking of. I personally feel this is how many women become baby mothers and not an actually girlfriend or wife. A man just not being honest with you about what he wants.
"What do you do when someone trys you? Show him you ain't the one!" Love it! Woman are Gods most precious creations... More valuable than rubies. Thank you for sharing this.
PREACH DERRICK!!!! WHEN PEOPLE TRY ME "HEART RIP"This is when you move on from that man! You don't beg him to marry you or give him ultimatums. You just end the relationship and date a man that is TRULY DEAD SET ON MARRYING YOU!!!!! KNOW YOUR WORTH! YOURE WORHTY OF A MAN THAT IS DEAD SET ON MARRYING YOU AND ONLY YOU! YOU ARE WORTHY OF SOMEONE THAT ADORES AND ACCEPTS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS DERRICK #5 IS SOOOOOOO HARD TO ACCEPT! WE WILL BAMBOOZLE OURSELVES INTO THINKING THAT HE TRULY DOES LOVE US! HECK ALL OF THEM ARE HARD TO ACCEPT! BUT WE NEED TO ACCEPT REALITY WISH HIM WELL AND MOVE ON!!!!!!!! I DID! I DESERVE THE BEST WE ALL DESERVE THE BEST!!!!! #NEVER_SETTLE
The more I listen to these videos, the more I'm convinced I'm never gonna have a man in my life, let alone get married and I'm already 39. Feeling so sad and teary right now 😥
Dont let these men drag you along! Conversate. If it dont add up dont hold on to it. Move on!!! Most of us prepare these men for the woman that they really want. Dont be a preparation plan. He enjoys you but does not see value of being with you. NEVER PRESSURE A MAN TO ACT RIGHT. MUCH LESS GET MARRIED
It doesn't take that long to get to know a person. I would recommend going to Marriage Boot Camp classes and doing couples therapy. It is really important to look at your childhood issues, potential trauma and other things to understand why you act to behave the way that you do. Most people don't have the sophistication to discuss those issues. Once you start getting serious about someone, you should start unpacking things and working through that stuff. It's not romantic but it's practical and it'll make your relationship successful.
Facts Facts and More Facts! Perfectly said.... ladies you will NEVER question a man who trully wants you because his intentions are as clear as the sky is blue!
Simone Christie it could be many reasons maybe not financially ready . how many men get married and never treat their wives like wives their just home . somr couples dont go out or even have sex all signs hes not into her titles dont dictate a mans feelings
I've finally came to a conclusion that there is NOT somebody for everybody. That was, and is a total lie that we've been told all of our lives just like every thing else we've been told. Now we might get with somebody because we're sick of being lonely, but that doesn't mean we've found "the one". There's nobody for me.
Could be true but my mom met her now husband that is the best man for her at 56. Can’t focus on wether some man is the person for you. Have to focus on yourself and being the best person in the best place you can possibly be of your life. I truly believe the person for you comes when you are absolutely ready and not a day before.
That absolutely hurted , he's with you until the right woman comes along. The woman that will tolerate his behavior and so on. Your just prepping him for his wife.
As always you are speaking truth, I applaud you for that. I walked aways from someone who really meant me no good. He was older than me but, mentally he was a child.
I am ending a 10 year relationship this year. We got engaged 4 years ago and he won't commit to a date. As soon as his mom is well (helping her through chemo) I'm gone.... Time to move on.
Oh Hellllll NAWWWW won’t commit to a date? And here I am done broke up with my ex because he has asked me about setting a date and getting our marriage license so much that I questioned his seriousness in my head-plus we had issues we needed to work on and he wasn’t doing the work satisfactory enough.
I was always told that if it's been 5 yrs and he still haven't married you it is because his options are still open because it does not take 5 yrs to realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone so yes Derrick he is just enjoying her while waiting for the woman he wants to grow old with his true soul mate
Listen honey. You've got to kill all that Disney crap. Men do NOT sit around thinking about who their future wife will be. Most of the time women are pushing men to get married.
@@juliuscaesar7660 I understand that but what I'm saying is once a man is in a real committed relationship with a woman and he say that he loves her why string her along for 5 or 10 yrs before he marries her does it really take that long to be sure but as for some women including myself not all women the goal for us is marriage but never will I pressure or push someone into marriage if he don't want get married that's fine just don't waste my youth I can't sit and wait 15yrs
k Jeanette You still consider yourself “strung along” if he’s stayed down with you for 5-10 years? I think you’re confusing your expectations of a committed relationship what your man’s are.
This was so insightful! It’s like you described my relationship, I have been in a relationship with a man for 11 years and we aren’t married this video has given me some food for thought.
I watch your videos on a regular basis, Mr. Jaxn. I've been single for nearly a year and I thank God that I found your channel. Words cannot express how much you have helped me along my journey. I have never commented before, but I had to let you know that this video is my all time favorite! I don't know how I missed it when it first came out, but I'm so glad I've seen it now. I have always been a women that has desired commitment and marriage but I have been "tried" several times. I could never put my finger on it, but you just summed up the last 15 years of my life in 5 minutes and 46 seconds. Thank you for this gem. I will save it and cherish it as a gift of knowledge and wisdom. I cannot change the past, but at least I am well equipped for the future. God bless you!
This video really helped me out. I've been with my partner 13 years and we broke up 16 days ago. He's never mentioned marriage. A year ago he just checked out and put our mutual friends before me. I'm leaving him but was questioning if it was the right thing. Were not growing together, he's got no goals, he couldn't answer where do you see yourself in 5 years. Love your videos!!
Great reminder! Love the videos. It’s not even about agreeing 100% it’s about another POV to take into account. Watching these videos have helped me keep stronger standards... thank you!!!
I believe marriage can wait. The man in question in correlation to why he does or does not marry a woman says a lot. sometimes people will get married just because and it doesn't mean a whole lot but they thought it was the right thing to do or they were pressured into doing it. marriage can end just as quickly as it begins. what's more concerning is the state of the relationship in correlation with it's 'status'. marriage isn't always an ultimatum for commitment which is why it's important to know your partner and make sure the marriage is not based on the superficial or on ownership. rushing can lead to regret don't compare your relationships because all are unique to a certain extent. if it's not meant to be then let it be. period.
This is so positive and I love you for saying this. Thank you. We tend to use other situations for our own and it does us more harm then good. Just because most men are like this, that dosen’t mean all.
Wow! Your video hit home. I moved out, kept seeing my guy and then I stopped calling recently because I asked for help with something I think he should help me with and for other reasons my eyes finally were open to and after he said no, I responded okay and he hasn’t called back. He’s a father, I have no kids and in some ways he treated me in a paternal fashion. His kids are with their mom. I think he enjoyed my company and having me do chores and cook and help with bills but didn’t love me. Damn.
Now that's that real s***!!! I love to hear you talk that grown man mature realness. That's why I watch your videos.... You are always on point & straight to the point.
This man is the truth. He gives real knowledge where most of us can really relate to it. Some of it is hard to hear and a big pill to swallow but its needed. Thanks Mr. Jaxn. I can't speak for all women but you are definitely helping me be wiser about men.
I have to set my standards, this why I walk away and if he cant follow thru then we are different pages. Also, if you have toxic behaviors you cant put me first like I will do him then yup, no matter how much I love him, he don't value me so we part ways...period.
DeliciousBeautii1 he is in jail now till 2021. I'm working on me and my relationship with God. I think I was so wrapped up in him and are kids and life that I lost me. So my focus has changed now. Leaving it in Gods hands my friend.
No its not sad and don't feel bad. You're a woman capable of loving, forgiving, and seeing the best in people. Nothing sad about that. It only feels that way cause you're in it now but if & when you get out, your husband is going to love those traits about you. Yes let God take over. That's what I did. I struggled to leave him for years and the same year I was born again, God got me OUT of that lifestyle. I know I'm unfinished but Hes going to send me my husband one of these days. After all the work I put in and all the tests Ive passed, the Lord knows I need a good husband/leader. After all, he put me onto these videos for a reason. I'm seeing so many mistakes I made with him and other exes. Never too late to learn.
teelahunny Amen. Thank you so much for this. I see now I've been doing it wrong. Its funny because I was just talking about marriage with him and then came across this video. In due time God will do what he see fit. I will continue to pray and walk in the path he has set for me.
Sometimes we THINK we want to marry someone but there's just that nagging thought in back of our minds that what if this is not the one. And I said we to imply that this goes for both men and women
I believe that some men don't make the move, in FEAR of the woman not wanting to get married. Rejection can be a hard pill to swallow for a man or a woman for that matter.
Kyrianna Some but not all. Men have options and women don't realize they have options as well. I, personally, am skeptical of a man who pushes for married right off the bat. Some men push for a commitment because they want you to be caught up before you know exactly who and how they are. And frankly speaking, if it takes years for a proposal, I probably don't want to a marry him either. I think for me, I need to be sure of what I want because I've been through so much that I'm not sure if marriage is what I want.
Wow, i needed to watch this video. I been feeling bad for finally ending a relationship of being on and off again for 10 years. I would bring up marriage and he aways told me he wanted the samething but would tell me i needed to change. I realize it wasnt my fault. I'm glad you made this video.
This was a hard pill to swallow. But it's true. I was with a man for almost 5 years and I kept saying, are we getting married? he said yes..one day (iam 36) I have never been married or have had kids so I was like ok....he kept asking for more time and more time then it was he wanted too ave for the ring then he wanted to get out of debt..he kept wanting to move the carrot. So I finally said, I am done. NO MORE WAITING, PISS OR GET OFF THE POT. He said he wanted more time...so I had to leave. I know it was the right thing cuz if he wanted to marry me, he would have.
I won't even accept a proposal until five years of dating. I need to know that person inside and out. Mess around and start dating the green river killer if you want to. Anybody can lead a double life.
@@paigesummers7580 that's why you date before jumping with people and also I know people see red signs and ignore the hell outta them too cause I admit I used to be that person
1 Reason you omitted was the man who is very dissapointed in marriage from his past, There are old men who had disturbing marriage and nasty divorce that they swear off marriage forever, they decided they will be ok to be committed to 1 lady but they dont ever want to go thru divorce again, these men are the non religious type, many times agnostics, atheists, liberals, there is a class or group today that feel marriage does not define a relationship
What can I say? I really hoped I will never be in such a situation, but here I am. In exactly on of those situations after exactly 3 years of waiting for nothing. So... Finally, I have some tears in my eyes. And finally, decided to move on. Cheers and thank you! Broken heart is not as bad as being used for someone who is just not the one.
Marriage is something that shouldn’t be rushed into it is a good goal to aim for if the relationship is growing n building. But no progression leads to going around and around in circles and years wasting dealing with the same bs over n over again.
You are so rt, I am dating a guy and we just started dating and we already having marriage discussion, at our age 47 and 45 you know what you want and don't want,,,😉
Oh my gosh Derrick, you are making so much since, I have been with my guy for 16 years, living together for 11 and we have the best relationship that either has every experienced, but when I bring up marriage, it's like a joke, he says "sure, let's do it." but there is no joy, or positive emotion behind it. or he just ignores the conversation I just dont understand, but listening to you, I am getting some insight. Thank you for being objective and telling it like it is.
