Should Your Partner Your Parents For Permission Before They Propose? 

This does not work for everyone. If we had listen to our parents we wouldn’t be happily married today. There was no permission asked. When you allow your parents and friends to interfere in your life decisions you may actually find yourself unhappy. Use your own discernment.

I think it depends on your relationship you have with your parents.. or the type of Parents they are.. just because they are your parents doesn't mean everything they suggest or advise is great for you..

I understand the primal feeling of protecting your kids but children aren’t property. They don’t “belong” to you. Additionally, why is the daughter expected to present this perfect representative of manhood for vetting? Not once did Steve talk about who he expects his sons to bring home. I’d be interested to see if the standards are as high.

Fix the title

Ultimately, regardless of what Steve says (in the scenario he was talking about) his daughter will have to live it out. Steve's approval does NOT guarantee that his daughters relationship will or won't work out. Working for your parents approval and acceptance will only last so long people.

So Steve is a possessive know it all father. Not surprised.

Parents opinions mean almost nothing . You are the one sleeping with them , you are the one sharing your life with them and you are the one raising their kids! My parents are not my gate keeper . I am. I love my mom but , no one can pick a life partner for you except for you!!

Hell no.... I don’t want my parents involved in selecting my life partner. Neither of my parents knows me well enough as a person to determine what is a good partner for me. Plus, neither have had healthy romantic relationships to make that decision, even with each other. I wish I had the kind of parents who were that balanced but I just don’t. I would love it if my partner and my parents have a good relationship and are respectful of one another. But it’s not a deal breaker if they don’t like him. It’s a deal breaker if I feel that he is not the kind of person who will be respectful of them and my relationship with them as their child. I do not need a man causing issues between me and my parents. I have worked hard to have loving relationships with both of them on my own. I don’t want that messed up by some guy. Additionally, I don’t want to be with a man who is more focused on trying to win favor with my parents over just being a good person for me. Sometimes, people will use the love you have for your parents to manipulate them for their own benefit and to control YOU in the relationship. I don’t need that either. So everybody needs to know their place and love from that place.

Wouldn’t be a deal breaker....long as everyone respect each other. I think ppl really be caring to much what they family think.

I would not want to marry a woman who needed a permission to be with me. I want to be with an adult who can make decisions for herself.

My man would definitely need to ask for my parent's blessing.❤

It's important that her parents approve. I'm not sure how I would feel about a family that doesn't want me around. I'm going to ask permission, period.

I like the Guy who said, It's not your decision to make. If i ask her parents for permission to marry do I have to ask for permission to Divorce also? I know it's kind of a traditional thing but I didn't see the need to ask permission.

The way Steve talks about his family is kind of weird. A person isn't property and doesn't belong to anybody.

Parents approval is very important actually ☺️ I want my parents blessing!

Lady in the black dress is gorgeous

I believe that the forgotten part here is parent and child(ren) dynamic. Some children do not have parents or have very critical parents whether they do right or wrong or uninvolved parents.

I feel like the only person you should ask for my hand in marriage is me.

My now husband asked permission to date me. My dad threatened him and walked out but he remained polite and laid out his intentions. Fast forward in 4 years, he told them we are getting married. It was a statement not a question. My parents wont even let him date me had they known he was bad for me. He earned their trust by being respectful. Your parents need to trust they have raised you well enough to make the right decision.

I had a good conversation about this with my Dad and I told him, "No man will ever be good enough for your little girl." He replied, "You're right." 😊 Ultimately, I think it is the woman's decision who she marries, however, the interaction between your man and your family is important and needs to be considered. When your family sees how happy you are with the man you choose, that is all that will matter to them. Your happiness. ❤

Steves mindset is what is going to drive his daughters to the wrong man

Bt what if your parents are materialistic and they want someone with dollar signs

For me this is a must. If my daddy doesn’t approve of you (like Steve said he knows men) then we aren’t going to make it. I tried going against the grain before & my Daddy was right I was young & dumb never again.

It's funny how some parents want to tell their children who to date but when you check their track record they have 5 baby daddies or the man has 5 baby mommas. I can't take advice from people that don't know how to keep it in their pants. You had your life now let me have mine. If I make mistakes along the way then it's on me. I understand that experience helps so for those that have that track record trust me we see you. We are going through the experience with you. We already know by watching you what to do and what not to do. We see all your children looking like the village people. I know we will make mistakes and we all will but please stop acting like y'all are the relationship experts. Let me get my life cause we allllll know you got yours.

I don’t live with my dad and my parents are divorced and my dad doesn’t even live in my state but I still think you should ask for his blessing. I think it shows character. It shows that you have some spiritual grounding, too. You are to ask for her father’s blessing to take her hand and be her covering from now on.

As a grown woman who finances her own life and have since I was 18, has moved across the country and lived on another continent on my own, I can decide for myself who I am and am not involved with. I’ve never understood this whole idea of asking a woman’s father for his permission. What am I, a plow?! If my dog doesn’t like you, however, that’s gonna concern me but we’d know that way before getting to the point of taking about marriage.

I have a good relationship with my parents but I dont feel the need to get my parent's approval with who I marry. However, i had a good role model for a father and have known early on what to look for a potential mate. That's why I think fathers are important in a girl's life. I always thank my dad for showing me what a good husband and father looks like that when my time came up, they knew they need not to pick for me. Having that said, I think the man you are marrying should understand that asking the parent's blessing is not asking their opinion but a gesture of respect for both the woman you are marrying and the authority of her parents over her. It's also being willingly accountable for the relationship. When my bf (now husband) asked me to be his gf, he asked permission from both my parents, his parents, and our pastor. He stated even then that he knew his boundaries, explained his plans for our relationship and accepted accountability. To me, that speaks volumes of how he valued me. Seven years after and we are still happily married and we have a great relationship with our in-laws

If you raise your kids well, they wont pick a guy/girl that doesn't fit the family, because then he/she wouldn't fit them. that's my view. When I get close to someone and I feel like they wouldn't work out with my family and all it's not going to last too long in the first place.

Naaah Steve. I mean, that dude that was like “I don’t think that decision is yours” yes!!! Tell him, bc it’s really not. Secondly, your daughter is not your property. 🤷🏽‍♀️

My hubby of 18 years did ask my parents for my hand (it was my second marriage and his 1st) After the proposal we spoke about his side of the planning and it was then i heard that he asked my parents....i fell in love all over again. I was so surprised and secretly so happy he did that

Why I gotta ask permission? We adults

Nah Steve..with all due respect..he's gonna be the man of the house when they get married not you! It's ok to watch out for your daughter but she has to decide.

IF SHE GOT TO GO TO HER DADDY, THEN HE CAN KEEP HER. I NEED A WOMAN NOT A GIRL! it's doesn't mean i have tricks up my sleeve or trying to take her from the family XYZ! I need a woman who has her own mind... daddy and mommy can tell her what ever they want about me! but she has to make that decision, because when we are married i need her and ME trying to figure out LIFE NOT HER DADDY! She should marry her daddy then... mommas BOY AND daddy's GIRL! I'LL TAKE A WOMAN FOR 100 ALEX!

Why would your man need to get along with your girlfriends for you to date

It shows respect for the father and for me I hope my future fiancé asks my Dad for my hand in marriage.

I truly believe it depends on the family dynamic. For me, no because either way I’m going to do what makes ME happy. If they have concerns they can voice them but ultimately it’s not deal breaker in the least.

I totally agree with Steve, more fathers should take this approach when a guys are in pursuit of their daughters. This is how you weed out the ones who do not have the best intentions. Fathers are daughters first introduction to the male species, therefore it is their responsibility to teach them where to set the bar when they reach dating age by being the example of how they should be treated. It is their job to teach them they are worthy, and to demand and expect nothing less than the utmost respect from the opposite sex. It is their responsibility to let any guy that is interested in their daughter know that she is Loved and cared for at home, and it is expected that they show her the same. When I became a Woman I knew I was a Queen because as a little girl my father and grandfather let me know I was a Princess.

Cari Champion is gorgeous!! 😍

i'M NOT OLE SKOOOLLLL , SOOOOO NAW! But it's different strokes for different FOLKS.. DO YOU!

It depends on the culture. Absolutely in mine. My husband did ask my father. I couldn't without it.

Definitely, deal breaker family is everything!

I dont respect this guy. He seems to have raised his daughters to be obedient appendages rather than independant women.

I’d say no. I’m an adult and what I say goes. I’m living for me not my parents. People do it out of respect and tradition.

Your daughter is not your property. She doesn’t belong to you like some thing. I get the intention but when it comes to relationships, it’s her decision. You can express your dislike and give good reasons. Then trust her to decide

Cari's legs 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Family aint the same no more. Some families will tell u they dont like ur partner bc they dont want u to have a good thing

my father was in the military and was hated by my mothers parents. My mothers parents even cut here out of the will by marrying my father. Thx dad for giving me live and go for love. It all depends on the parents. If they love money more then the happiness of their daughter then SCREW the parents because i wouldn´t even be alive if the parents had anything to say about it...

I agree with you, Steve! No one knows a man like another man. Thank you for protecting your daughters so much!

That video title mistake had me thinking I needed new glasses!! We have two daughters and we absolutely expect their boyfriends to ask permission for her hand in marriage. For us, it’s a sign of respect. We all know that there’s not enough of that in the world.

Who thinks about parents this days before marriage know one does that.especially when the man or the woman is rich or doing well in life they don't care because of the love they have for each other.

In my culture you CAN´T NOT marry her unless you ask her hand from her family. so basically her decision doesn´t matter ( ps: i think that´s crazy ofc )

Way to go Steve, you are the gatekeeper. Love it.

Okay but what if he ask your parents for your hand in marriage and they tell him no? Now you've been together and in love for a minute and you're trying to figure out why he hasn't proposed. But he doesn't bc you wanted him to ask your parents and they said no. So who will you be upset with then?

Ultimately, marriage shouldn't really fall on the parents business.

Asking for their blessing or support is fine but I also think that asking for "permission" is sexist. But I also have a modern marriage.

Mr Steve Harvey...is the man..i love his confidence...LOVE IT..LOVE it love ir...Ms Marjorie you got a good one...

neither one of us did. if i listened to my parents, i would be unhappy. They done enough damage trying, including my current wife they tried to ruin. I'm marrying my wife, not the parents.

It is a nice gesture..but its not the end of the world. If the girl feels strongly, then do it. If not, meh.

This is flawed logic. There are some parents who are jealous of their own kids spouses.

When you are grown you don't need anybody's approval to marry the man you love.

IF YOU LIVE AT HOME WITH YOUR PARENTS THEN I HAVE NO PROBLEM OR IF SHE JUST WANTS ME TOO THEN SURE BUT I'M MY OWN MAN! ITS ME OR THEM!

I know that's right Steve you say that 😅

No I don't want him to ask

I read that title so many times

Amen, Steve!

Steve is sooo smart. We all wish to have a father like you😘

My parents are heavily into my Dumplin'😘🥟 and she already got their permission and approval. They fux with her still

I love you Steve Harvey talk show 💋💋💋💋💋

I say no, cuz they not marrying your parents, their marrying you.

It's nice but definitely not necessary. Parents don't get a vote on it.

I agree the man should ask ur parents for their hand in marriage. It’s respect and honestly I value my parents discretion

it depends. I talked to my ex's father before we got engaged (never made it to married), it was over the phone cuz he traveled for work and was out of state, but I did talk to him. Now it's been a while since that fell apart and some years have past and the age bracket of women I'm looking to date are mid 30's to early 40's (i'm 42). The women I'm pursuing are out of their parents house, have a job and living their own lives. Now I don't feel obligated to ask her parents for permission anymore, but I will, when the time comes, have a conversation with her father if it's appropriate. I was raised to be a gentleman. Open doors for women and all that. If her father isn't in the picture or they don't have a good relationship, then no. He might get an announcement in the mail or just a tagged message on facebook.

Amen

Ehhh but everyones family is different. Like my parents would want the man to ask for permission, and I agree

You can ask for the blessing, no problem. But who is the person to decide who is right for you?You aren't helping them if you just telling them no and giving the reason. You need to let them make the mistake so that they can recognize it the next time.

The only type of people who would say they don’t need to ask your parents for your hand in marriage is the new school !!! But we all know old school way still works . It’s a matter of respect asking your parents for your hand in marriage is a sign of respect because listen hear me out who’s giving you away when you getting married? Answer that question ! Your father is giving you away . And so as a sign of respect he should be asked for your hand in marriage. Because he’s suppose to protect you until the one comes along to give you away.

My mama has a good eye. If she doesn’t approve,she right.

No , I can't agree with this one. Nobody got a right to approve or disapprove your choice, they may like or dislike but at the end of the day it's your life for you to live

I thought Steve had four daughters........

While parent's opinion, and why, should be considered. One should make their own final decision, because it's your life, and YOU are the one who has to live with your decisions, Not your parents or anybody else. My father did not like my choice of husband, and refused to give me, his Only daughter, to him. I married him anyway, walking down the aisle on the arm of my Uncle. Still, Unbelievable to me, after 7 yrs. of marriage, and 2 children later, because my mother wanted him herself, and he loved me, was able to get me divorced from him, WITHOUT ME!!!??! . My father didn't speak to me for 15yrs. I never loved another. We reunited after 42yrs., children grown and now grandparents. He passed away just 2 months before we were to remarry on the same day we married, at first. Family opposition can't Stop Love, Time and distance can't stop Love. No One other than the individuals, Know what someone means to them! I lived a life of lonliness and regret, because of someone else's feelings.

The title is put together wrong

I think that tradition is stupid because no one has any intentions of honoring it. You’re parents are just supposed to smile and say yes because it make you happy. What happens if they are honest and say NO? Now there is a problem and you still get married anyway. Except now they can’t come to your wedding because feelings were hurt and offended. Stupid.

Blonde hair woman tries to make jokes every single time and it just doesn’t work at all

Sorry, If I have to ask for permission then somethings wrong. It's a good traditional procedure but it is one area that will increase the chances that something will go wrong. If they won't approve then something is wrong and it may not be apparent.

I trust my parents to the point that i believe that if my mother doesnt likes you, God doesnt like you either

That's not all important to everyone but my ex husband never asked my dad anything that's not deal breaker for me

Aw hell naw! My parents chose some straight losers. I’ve run into a couple of them recently and yeah.... that wouldn’t have been good. No, they weren’t a better judge.

Parents don't determine who you're with. Parents just give advice from a different perspective.

WHY IS SHE SCREAMING!!!

Really...your parents control who you marry?

i though steve had 4 daughters

Political Insanity of Insanity is a Way of Life... Lions are strong Parents, trust me, ahhum, #bebest.

Thats one funny title. Please don't ask!

I feel like you should tell them just out of respect but it's not a dal breaker if they don't want you to ask them

Damn whoever wrote that title should get fired

My mom fully meet my husband until our wedding day.

I had a feeling they would say yes being that Steve always agrees with his black church going females.

I would love for my potential husband to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. However, the black girl mentioned why should the parents give him approval for marriage especially if you met him multiple times prior? Well, the guy can be a great guy (good income, education, gentleman) but may not be the best fit for you as a suiter. Your parents know us better than we know ourselves. So if my parents said no, I will have to reflect on it and if I don't agree then I'll marry him.

doesnt steve have 4 girls (2 his own, 2 step)?

My fiancé didn’t ask my mother but my mother likes him.