Question. What if the INFP has working memory problems because of ADHD and wants to appear interested? Asking for myself, and the rest of the INFP with ADHD gang.
As an INFP, I feel really bad when I get distracted and didn't hear what someone was saying to me. When I zone out or get distracted I always say "I'm sorry, I did not hear what you said" or something like that. When I don't want to be around someone I will fake listening, so I guess this is very accurate for me lol
I will fully admit that I will pretend to listen to some of my teenage cousins when they're going over school gossip especially because a lot of the things that happen have no consequence they're going to forgive them they're going to hang out they're going to get another fight and do it all over again.
@Samir Dončić lmao same. My friends told me they love me because I listen & pay attention all the time but when they ask me what they said, I just brainfart so they just laugh it out.
Same if i zone out i always apologize but if i am over you I would just look at your face and nod in that convo while making fake scenarios in my head lol
My INFP mind: 1. Listen to conversation. 2. Looked through their soul. 3. Disliked what I saw. 4. Daydreamed I was somewhere else until they stopped talking.
I prefer when Frank is looking into the camera; it's weird watching someone talk when they're not looking into the second camera and it's in a similar location
As an INFJ i noticed if i don't like someone i never talk about myself or share things about my life so the person doesn't really get to know me and i also don't ask about their life. I can be able to talk about random topics that everyone has to deal with (for example a schoolsystem or a government issue or how something works) but it will never be a personal experience that I am sharing. I become the thing we hate ourselves the most: "a shallow person"
Hi M IJ!! You have just made me laugh, quite a rarity these days for me! I am just like that. I can see that there is no point in trying to broach deep, meaningful topics of conversation. I can see that their attention span is ridiculously short. Ping pong is probably at best what we INFJs can hope for here. Tennis is possible too but terribly stressful. Playing tennis or ping pong with a brick wall, which is how my contact with people feels, is to want to stop talking all together!! To sit here and listen to your empty, foolish drivel, NO, I won´t do it! Isolation hey? The INFJ videos all talk of our tendency to isolate well, playing ball against the wall by yourself was never much fun but it beats playing by the rules of another shallow minded person. I feel just like you do, that by even being part of this situation, I am aiding and abetting shallowness! I have started a blogspot M IJ (amateur writer as I am) to hopefully get communicating with others who look for depth and meaning in their communications with others. I have now written two books for want of conversation. I am conversing with myself!! I am in principle reviewing my first book at the moment, chapter by chapter, in the hopes that someone, somewhere, may find the same importance in these issues that I write of. Which all root to the Human Character! As yet, I have had no comments which in itself does surprise me. Take a look and come and meet a real INFJ who REALLY does want to communicate with other like minded INFJs. www.gillmet-ontheoutsidelookingin.blogspot.com is my address. You will be welcome and your communication???????? Mind blowing! My best wishes to you.
I’m a INFJ and I’m exactly like this. Sometimes I don’t like it, because the friendship feels so superficial that makes me sad. But I think I make it to protect myself in someway
Wow, the INFJ one was so on point. The amount of overthinking I do to avoid “promising” the other person some type of a future together is INSANE - whether it’s a friend, acquaintance or someone whom I feel is interested in me romantically. While talking to this other person, I’ll be thinking so many different things to say instead of what would sound like promising something. Or mid-sentence I’ll remember that “uh oh, if I go on to give them this information next, they’ll ask me if we should do that thing together so I’d rather not say that and say this other thing instead” - and while thinking these things outwardly I’ll be like “uhhh, uhmmm, hmmm”. I’m glad this is an INFJ thing and not an indication that I’m just weird or too overthinking (although this IS overthinking).
I just overstate that I am doing this thing that I mentioned with "somebody else", there is absolutely no space in the car or my life. Or all I am telling them about the future is that I will be super busy, so busy, terribly busy, there is absolutely no time left in my calendar or my life. I also avoid telling them cool stuff I want to do, instead I might tell them about boring stuff I want to do. Stuff that they definitely do not want to do, I am so boring, like really nobody would want to date me, I knit socks for cats in my free time while watching reruns of Korean variety shows. I am weird, and I am boring, and there is absolutely nothing that we have in common, nothing at all. I just make them think that they are completely mistaken about being into me and had a moment of confusion, and they will be so much happier without me in their life.
Man with this video and your message I just notice how many hints my bf was sending me before we even start dating. He keeps mentioning about wanting to visit me in my country and we can hang out together. Always check on me everyday and make sure I'm okay. I end up confess him I like him and he told me he likes me too but he was unsure if I'm interest in him. I'm an INTP so he had a hard time understand how I feel because let be fair I don't understand my own feelings sometime too
do people like us infjs? like i know i ay “good stuff” all the time and am good socially, but i feel like my sensing friends have more fun when they’re just saying dumb shit to each other instead of actually having decent conversation. is it good to always be looking for something more meaningful? i would think it is but idk
@@sexytechreviews_ 1. What are you on about? I find it very useful being able to timelapse back to specific parts. 2. You're probably found Frank James not that long ago, as only "noobies" have this sort of attachment to YTers they just found (and I am not even joking; I've seen it on many channels, where a supposedly "overly-attatched" commenter turns out new). Either that, or you're below thirteen and got your first YT account a few days ago. 3. If you meant the comment as a joke, I sincerely apologise. Also sorry, but it wasn't obvious enough.
As an INTJ, if we don’t like you; ignoring you is accurate. It might seem harsh or rude, but at the end of the day it saves us both time because we’re making it clear where we stand in our relationship. no fake niceness, polite conversations, or mixed signals, if I don’t like you, you’ll know
Then, i'll ask you questions, INTJ. Please help me out. My bf isa buzy person. He's studying about med to become a surgeon. Last time we talk was 1 week ago after 1 month we didn't really talk. My messages have been left on read these days. I asked him what's happening, he just left my chat on read. Idk whether he's still into me or not.
@@nivavirdia5388 don’t take my word for it, but he’s not THAT into you. INTJs deep down are romantics, and even the busiest of INTJs will make SOME time for someone they really like. Don’t get me wrong, i’m sure he likes you, but he’s def not CRAZY about you. If you’re super concerned about it i’d suggest asking him the same thing; “are you still into me, or are you just super busy?” he will probably give you a straight answer
As an INFP, I confirm the statement. One guy liked me, but I started not listening to what he was saying and pretending I was. I ignored him and he disappeared. BUT! With my friend, I've read all the signs since I first saw her. So, I tried to send every signal I could to try to say that I wasn't interested, let alone that I knew the truth. In this case, I paid attention to almost everything to see if I could understand and then fit some hidden message into our conversations. In the end, she confessed, and I confessed that I knew from the beginning, and now our relationship is weaker.
Unfortunately, a lot of relationships get weaker if one person has feelings and the other makes clear that they don't reciprocate. Sometimes there's not much you can do about that, no matter how well you handle the situation.
Interesting and true experience but for me it was a bit different. When my crush was talking I wasn't listening to the contents of the sentence, I was memorizing how their voice sounded and lost 50% of the information. My crush eventually got mad that I wasn't listening. We all have different experiences but I'm so glad we can all share them here.
You tried to send every signal that you weren’t interested. Did you try…..telling her? Directly. “Hey sorry I can tell you like me, but I only like you as a friend”. You can’t always rely on people picking up subtle ~signals~ and/or ~vibes~. Direct communication is key.
@@insanatty Sorry but despite knowing that we should be more direct more often & stuff, we INFPs are just too nice to be THAT direct for most of the time, unless we REALLY got shit tired of you, or quite blatantly out to hurt you, or just got so broken & unhealthy that we don't give a shit just about anyone or anything. Shooting straight is without a doubt a virtue in a lotta situations, but trust me on this, you WOULDN'T WANT an INFP to be that direct with you.
As an INFJ, your “choice of words”explanation was perfectly explained! Even in other circumstances when I’m trying to explain a problem I have to someone without giving them any obvious context, I end up not really explaining anything at all, yet I’m so scared they know exactly what I’m talking about, simultaneously I’m hoping they understand, but not, but am
I know right? I was once in situation were a girl obviously liked me alot but i didn't liked her and after talking she sometimes asked what i wanted to do after graduating from high School. ... Well I did know what i wanted to do but i never said it to her. I was always like: I dont know, maybe i am doing this or this so she wouldnt make plans for the future. I felt very bad because of that and i´m gald that is over...
As an INTP, this is honestly completely true. When I had a crush on one of my friends, I’d always respond within a few hours, which is really quick for me. I don’t like them anymore cause and now when we text I’ll sometimes forget to physically respond for two or three days. Keep up the great work FJ!
Man, I wish responding within a few hours was considered 'quick' universally. The culture of immediacy in which so many people these days expect instant responses to communications is so oppressive.
@Multitudes for real. It sucks because it’s so easy for people to get frustrated when I’m just focusing on something else and don’t feel like answering yet!
Honestly a couple of hours isn't quick. But it's just a part of life. Like people get busy, and as long as the person who's the busy one tells the other something like "Hey, I'm not texting you because I'm not interested, I've just got a lot on my plate." Then it's all good.
Over time, I’ve realized a few of my ISTP habits: -I do tell people I have other things to do, but it really means I have other things I’d *rather* do. -I often end up focusing on my work harder if I reject someone over it. -If you bother me to a certain point, I will outright tell you that I don’t wanna hang out or that I don’t think we’ll ever be super close. -There aren’t many people I call friends. Most people actually know very little about me. It’s more surprising if I do wanna hang out than if I don’t.
I have also noticed as an ENTP that despite being quite talkative about this and that topic, we do not really talk much about our inner life and childhood, and we do not often ask others about these things. However, when we care about someone we will make an effort to have in-depth conversations about these details that usually escape our eyeline. So if an ENTP inquires if you are an only child or about your high school relationship, they are really into you.
@@ldoe8731 I literally had a date like that recently. I could barely manage to stay slightly polite. Worst thing was that I couldn’t just leave. Some people are just not mentally stimulating at all!
As an ISFP, I can confirm this. Not only in relationships but just social situations, if I don't like this person there's no use interacting unless really needed, like if they're dying... I have to help. Otherwise, yep... Your invisibility cloak is on to me.
As INTJ I'm going to make the excuse of being too busy. I'm not going to go out of my way to be around a person I'm not interested in, and then just sit and look at my phone, that'd be a waste of my time for no reason. Also definitely avoid talking about anything in a way that seems inclusive of the person I'm not interested in.
Sometimes you might find a person that's into you in a friend's house (they show up when they find out you'll be there, for instance), so is not a situation you planned for. In those moments, I usually direct my focus on other people's conversation and completely leave the guy just standing there. Even the house cat trying to walk by on stealth mode will absorb a 100% of my focus at that moment.
And if forced into conversation, we keep it very shallow. The weather, TV, music, movies, books, etc. if we’re not into you, we’ll never answer anything that we feel might expose us or our deeper feelings. We even do that with people we like, lol
True enough, but there are moments when someone will just be somewhere that you are. I've been out in public before and some dude just starts chatting and flirting. It's like, I want him to go away, but I don't want to deal with the likely bad reaction of telling him to do so. I keep my answers to questions short and don't likely ask any or at least nothing in depth. Hell, I have purposely did the whipping out the phone to show disinterest.
So true! INTJ here too =) yep pretty much it in a nutshell, we only make time for people who matter. Anyone else, we're pretty ruthless when we're no longer interested in someone and keep going left.
Editor Kevin is the hardest working man in youtube biz! The second camera, the background music, the hilarious cutaways -- I like FJ's Sunday videos better without all that, but if all that's going on, EK better have gotten a big pay raise!
As an ENFP I can say that I like everyone, even the people I don't like. Somehow I can find something I like in almost everyone, even people who are horrifically abusive (sadly I have known several). I think this does make it hard for people to know if we're not into them. But if people have been direct with me I am fine being direct with them, "hey I am just not feeling it, this isn't working out". And for abusive people, I just ghost them
wow, well I think it is similiar to INFP, but with INFPs you wont know if they actually like you or if they are just fulfilling their "duty" of being nice and respectful to others feelings. And if the INFP doesnt want to see somebody, they will make sure to just ghost them and avoid them, no explanations (rarely)
I'm an INTP who responds to everyone eventually. But I guess I tend to avoid someone I don't like... Because I don't know what to say and it can be really akward and no thank you
Lo yes, also found out that j would click on crush’s message instantly, type something, delete and repeat for five mo it’s before impulsively clicking send and regretting it
Same here as an INFP... With some people I just don't really feel this connection or they make me nervous bc they decided to send a voice message instead of texting ... I'll probably ghost them if we are not close. But if I like you, I'll make sure I won't leave you on read.
As an ENFJ, literally nothing hurts more than when I feel like my friends don’t care about me. I remember all sorts of things about them, like how my INFP friend doesn’t like eating mushrooms or sauce on their fries but they love gummies but when picking a place to eat nobody remembers that I’ve been vegan for years and pick someplace where I can’t eat anything. I remember my ENFP friend’s medical history because they’ll talk about it (and then they’ll be shocked when I know everything about their medical history) but they don’t remember my dream college (I’ve talked about wanting to go there the whole time I’ve known them, went on a trip there, posted a bunch of stuff about it on social media, and I wear the school’s merch all the time). Tbh honest the most painful thing for me to say is “I told you about it, don’t you remember?" Also I always know when my friends aren’t listening to me. I always know when they’re just nodding along and pretending to pay attention but they aren’t. Those things my friends do aren’t bad though. They’re normal human things. I think I just go insanely above and beyond for them and inevitably get super hurt when I feel like it isn’t reciprocated or that I’m not appreciated.
I’m an INFP but I know this feeling well. I’ve learned to hide how much I remember things my friends have told me because I feel like it can kind of freak people out. I will occasionally let things slip or do things like buy a gift for them in their favorite color and when they tell me it’s their favorite color I’ll pretend it was a happy accident. *hugs fellow listener
This could have been written by me. I'm an INFP, and this is my life. I'm interested in everyone and will remember even a stranger's words for years, but I feel like no-one listens to me when I do speak up occasionally. I guess that's just life.
late reply but here goes... Dear ENFJ, you need an INFJ in your life who will not only remember the tiniest stuff about you, but will do something for you based on that obscure fact about you... even many years later. And the secret to that is because an INFJ will analyze and understand you and what makes you tick. Because patterns and structure and meaning matter so much to an INFJ. And INFJs despite being mostly introverted are surprisingly very open to new things. And thus that INFJ will always take you to a vegan restaurant and genuinely enjoy the food with you... even if they're the planet's bloodiest carnivore. 😊
I'm infp, sometimes I forget to listen to people I like too, and then ask them to repeat what they said because I was distracted. but when I don't like someone I try to avoid them. If they're working with me I'll try to do something that allows me to not be near them or make the least amount of conversation possible if I have to speak to them. Cut ties if I can, ignore them every way possible, like no eye contact at all and body not facing them, neutral expressions to no expressions etc .
Okay the INFJ one really was too accurate. I get so uncomfy watching my words in situations like that. I’ve thought exactly what you’re saying “I can’t say this (that way) because X might start getting ideas that I do not want them to get”.
As an INTP, I think Frank's description of INTPs is pretty much what I do with people of dating apps that attempt to talk to me when I'm not interested, for people I dislike IRL my approach is closer to what the ENTP does, my interactions will be polite, brief, and straight to the point, if they're by text and purely social I might consider not replying at all depending on the message I received (if someone sends me a meme I probably won't reply at all, if it's something like "Hello! how are you doing?" I might just reply to say that I'm ok, but won't carry the conversation or make any questions).
0:39 *ESTJ* 1:08 *ISTJ* 1:47 *ESTP* 2:57 *ISTP* 3:45 *ESFP* 4:27 *ISFP* -i love u 5:20 *ESFJ* 6:08 *ISFJ* 6:47 *ENTJ* 7:28 *ENFJ* -my bestei 8:21 *ENTP* 9:19 *ENFP* 10:07 *INTP* 11:02 *INTJ* 12:08 *INFP* -hey! That me 13:05 *INFJ* ✨ ~if you see this my Sir frank James. I would like to Thank You for making all this content because it makes me know who Iam and discover other personality types which has made me understand people too, Iam really grateful for all of these videos you make! I love youuuuu ✨✨✨
As an ENFJ, it’s so true that I always double the energy of those around me, as long as I like them. If a friend will be really loud I’ll mirror that. Around people I don’t like I hide from them emotionally. I act introverted or just really calm when that’s not who I am at all 😂
Same here!! It was super accurate. 👌🏻 Even the part when Frank said how we act all cool when we like someone, but will still find a way to keep contact, lmaooo🤣🤣
Man frank stop showing the world enfjs is secrets let us have our cool forever 😂😂😂 "JK"....... i just wishes if i didn't remember i was ENFJ-T not -A and ruined my own fun...
ENTP, for me also applies to non-romantic situations, if I don't like someone it'll be the same lack of wanting to talk for 70 hours about everything and a quick "oh nice you said something, i have to go shuck some corn now"
As an INTP, we can’t fake emotions. If we don’t like you, we don’t like you. If we like you, we like you. Sometimes we care about being rude other times we don’t. It depends on the person. We hate people who are pushy and clingy. We hate people who are presumptuous and overconfident. We like people who are chill, silently confident and can be responsible for their own actions.
honestly, for me as an ENFP, it depends on how i feel about the person. if i’m not concerned about how the person feels, i’ll just tell them straight up “i don’t like u.” but if i care about them and don’t wanna hurt them, i’ll try and point out some good characteristics of other people and make them catch feelings for them instead of me (which has only worked two times, but it still worked) then, if they don’t get the message, i tend to just distance myself slowly cause i cant bring myself to tell them. i don’t know if anyone else can relate, but that’s how i send signals.
The slow distancing is kind of cruel but the diverting feelings is a good one!!!! One of my preferred ways to handle it ip romantic feelings (entp). If im just not into someone in any general regard, then brevity.
As a fellow ENFP, I'd say my reaction depends on the person's way of showing it to me. If they're direct, e.g. asking me out, I'll be kind, but straighfoward as well (also will try to make like it's not a big deal, so they don't get embarrassed). But if they're trying to subtly show their feelings, I'll do the slow distancing too lol Is not my intention to be cruel, but an attempt to be responsible with the other person's feeling, so that my usual ENFP's niceness is not misunderstood as flirting
Maybe don't do the slow distancing things, I've found it can actually make people feel pretty bad maybe instead of trying to get them to like someone else say that you like someone else or just remind them of what good friend they are they'll at least take the hint
As an INTJ, I enjoy reading on my phone while being around people I like. This way, conversations feel less forced and you can look up details of things you are talking about. When I really don't like someone I will avoid talking to them and if possible avoid meeting them at all.
Can confirm the ISFP brutally giving you the cold shoulder, pretending you don’t exist is a real thing. If I’m not into someone I would avoid that person at all cost and only talk to them when necessary. Cause I’ve had people mistake my friendly, loving, caring demeanor for something more and I don’t want people to feel like I’m leading them on when I’m not. So if I become very distant and act like you don’t exist I want you to know where I stand with you.
If only the one's you ignore understood that... (I'm too an ISFP, but most of the time I ignore someone, they just try to engage more) I guess it's kinda cruel to literary pretend like they don't exist, buf if I really despise them are there any nicer ways....?
As an INFP, I honestly try my best to listen to everyone that has something to say to me (because I don't really have friends). But a lot of the times if it seems like I'm not listening, it might actually be that I literally can't hear you but don't wanna go through the awkwardness of asking "What?" After your every sentence lol
Fellow infp, I feel this. Have you talked to (or more accurately, being talked to) by ENTP? They be jumping topics about themselves so fast, inside I was like, wait wait what particular thing are you talking about now? 😂 But outside I keeps saying yeah that's cool, of course
The ENFP was so true when it comes to the overall. But at moments when I notice that person had made me upset and I get an impulsive feeling to be the opposite way, my feelings will always default back into the original settings and easily cover up someone's bad behavior. Which like can be good as long as they aren't toxic.
as an ISFP, I can confirm that if I dislike someone, I pretty much don't acknowledge their existence. On the plus side, everyone I do like knows I actually like them
Hey ,sorry but i feel the need to ask this as an INFP who is in love with an ISFP ..is it possible that they're into me even tho i'm always the one who intiate conversations? I mean they're always responsive and will make time to reply my texts even while at work ,they also are open for deep conversations ..but yeah it's just this person never really reach out to me unless we're not talking for a long time ..i already confessed by the way so they're well aware of my feelings towards them ,they didn't responded by saying they feel the same towards me but they did gave a lil reassurance that they're not going anywhere ..but as a person with anxious-attachment style (working on it) i just need more assurance 😅
No offense but that's really unhealthy... They are also a human who has feelings and deserves communication. 😐Frank James might have been accurate but this is not something good to relate to (not that you said it was good but try using it to your advantage)
The ISFP one was so true, I was just talking about it with someone before I watched your video! I absolutely cannot fake my feelings towards someone so if I don't like them I will try very hard to avoid them so they don't realize it. Usually they realize it lol
its genuine and ironic, because if an isfp has a crush on someone, they get super shy and therefore potentially getting misunderstood that an isfp do not like them.
@@jijitters but what if in online life? i wanna ask this cuz i have an online crush and she is an isfp. i wanna know if she try to avoid me or she just busy. and i cant figure it out if she ever gets shy, cuz like i told u before its online life
As an ISTP, I look back and can pick out a few times i had a “lot of other things to do “ it is one of my go to things. Glad I know where it comes from.
I assumed ENFP would be, if you think they are flirting with you? They just consider you a friend 😂🤣 But after context of the video, it’s pretty accurate. The constant thoughts of not wanting to hurt their feelings, and also not wanting to lead them on, really leads to various feelings expressed to the person that we’re not into. Except for the people we hate, because if you did something BAD ENOUGH for an ENFP to hate you? You are not worth the energy energy of our thoughts lol.
I hate a infj bcz he told me he hated me bcz of the fact that I was talking to him(he was my crush and I only wanted him to not laugh at me) -from an ENFP
It's really interesting to learn how different types of personalities saying that "No" in a subtle way! Saving yourself a lot of time & energy! Best!!! 💗
FRAAAAAANK! I need your help! (If you made a video on it I missed it). Could you do a video on the best way to apologize to the 16 personality types? We all have disagreements, what’s the best way to resolve them for each type? 🥺
ISFP : There is a possibility to be even more annoyed when I hear a verbal apology depending on the conflict. I also don't like to hear things like, "I won't do it again" because it's uncertain. But I do observe people often and notice when someone is making an effort to be better. That's when I forgive them, even if they never apologised. I forget more than I forgive. But then again, it takes a lot to make me really resent.
ENFP’s We will take a moment to deeply process our situation, your situation & what that means for our relation then once the mind is made up… we will honestly tell your directly. I know that we are brainstormer’s & hardly finish things but when it comes to people we will do it like a sharp shoot!
As an ENFP I can say that this is so true. It takes me a little while to make up my mind about someone and once it is made up I rarely change it. I have changed it when under duress and after going through a paradigm shift, but as a general rule I like to meet the real you before I make up my mind (so I don't have to change it later🙃).
I’m ENFP who takes a WHILE to know if I am interested romantically, must be friends first or building a friendship with the flirting or dating part. Otherwise no. If someone protests being “friendzoned,” extra no with a side of no. (I’m an ENFP with past trauma so that adds to it).
this is true for me as well (at least in friendships)- it's hard for me to change my mind about people, but it's especially frustrating to realize someone wasn't who I thought they were because they behave differently around different people and then to have to go through that paradigm shift
Omg I feel understood! I became a mind reader at this point lmao so I don't oftenly get disappointed bc I see the flaws pretty easily and never change my mind abt someone as long as values desired type of relationship projects and easiness of communication don't overlap ik I sound like a bot But! Even with all these precautions I tend to be too "nice" or "hyped" so I end up stucked in these kinda situations for years shall I just print out a sheet with all the data showing how the feeling will always be off to me or? Btw an enfp
As an INFP can confirm, in general if I'm not into someone or they're not a close friend it's kind of a chore to hang out with them not because I hate them it's just tiring but I don't want to seem rude but at the same time I feel like me listening and being nice is the only reason people end up liking me, because I'll always ask due to being genuinely confused because I look like a opossum and the same answer I'll get is because I'm nice and I helped them through a hard time or something and I do hope to be nice and help people but I'm nice to everyone and I don't want someone to like me just because of that because there's more to me than that and it just doesn't feel real to me, they like me because I helped them but happens when that passes It's just sort of frustrating I guess any advice for that James?
Opossums are positively cute. Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much about people liking you for being nice if I were you. Just try to be yourself and set the boundaries that you need. (Also INFP)
I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME O MY GOD- enfp Actually I have a problem because of it.. My aunt who I hadn’t known for 20 years suddenly appeared in my life and started to act like I’m her daughter or something…It makes me really uncomfortable and sometimes angry cause she doesn’t know me at all, I lived in another country alone for 5 years and yet she treats me like a baby omfg. And she says something like omg it’s so nice to talk to you you are so nice IM NICE TO EVERYONE WOMAN IT DOESNT MEAN WE ARE BESTIES NOW. And yeah it feels sooo superficial how do I tell her to f off without being rude
I wish I could pin this I feel the exact same way as an INFP! And then I feel like an awful evil person for feeling this way 😭 Please help us with some advice FJ 🥺
As an ISFJ, I totally agree with FJ's point. I'll re-prioritize. If I'm not into someone, I'll just look for something else to do or someone else to talk to before responding to them, simply because they're not that important to me..so yeah, pretty accurate!
As an INTP, the "pinging back" thing is true. I have a whole process of talking to people who I like hanging out with over the Internet. The way I do it is I send a meme, wait for the reaction to the meme, and then BAM! Instant follow up with another meme. After about 3 to 5 memes I can relate a personal anecdote or ask a question. Works every goddamn time
For me as an INFP, it usually takes me a while to process how I actually, truly feel about someone. Sometimes in the moment I'm still unsure of my feelings, but will still be polite and try to listen if someone talking to me in person (even if it is half-heartedly). After I have some alone time to process, if I know I really dont like them, I'll tell them straight up, "hey, I dont think this is going to work" (over text, if possible). I'll even give specifics if they ask, even though often times its uncomfortable. I personally hate leading people on, and I know not everyone understand the subtle hints I may give out, so sometimes I'll be direct if my messages aren't clear.
I'm an ISTP and if I'm in the same social space with someone that likes me, but I don't like them in that way, I do the ISFP thing and just avoid eye contact and communication at all costs. (I'm not good at faking it, either.)
INFJ here- I find it difficult to show when I'm not interested. I'm always hoping the indications you mentioned will be perceived. But unfortunately they're often not. It's not the best way to handle it for either party. I had to work on being more direct in a way that's both gentle & respectful, but still gets the point across clearly. Definitely a work in progress...
As someone with ISFP as the significant other, I confirmed that theory. My wife always says that she only replies to my silly daily texts and not to even her own bff only daily basis. I feel so special.
Hii ,so based on your comment is it possible that the ISFP person i'm in love with are also into me because they always replied to my daily texts even at work ,except they just never really initiate conversations unless i went radio silence
@@starrystarrynight99 Hi back to ya. When you said they never initiate conversations before, does that applied to when they thought you never replied hence the radio silence? Because in my case, my wife'd definitely mention if she missed my texts either because she was too busy or if she didn't get my notif. Then again, she'd initiate conversation first if something strikes her interest, especially food promos related. Hope that helps in a way. All the best to you and your loved one 👍🏻
@@lackingmyface i have an online crush she liked to reply my silly text almost everyday. she even said few times that often im the only person she talked to, not even her bffs. but these past few weeks she isnt that talkative anymore, she said that if she ever become like that again its just because she's on a bad mood. i trust her, but my infp side not letting me to stay and make me depressed 🥲🥲 wdyt abt it? cuz i wanna know ur experience with ur isfp wife
MAN was this was painfully accurate 😅 As an ENFP who's generally totally convicted (or crazy unsure) of her feelings, I've found that with people I know aren't right for me, I'll go back and forth to the extreme, feeling that they're either amazing/one-of-a-kind/inCREDIBLE ☺or internally complain about most everything they do and decide I need to find a way to back away. But by the time I come to that decision, they've texted me saying ANYTHING and I, swept off my feet by the grand romantic gesture that is "heyy wyd," figure I'll save that for tomorrow... 🙈
I’m ENFP who takes a WHILE to know if I am interested romantically, must be friends first or building a friendship with the flirting or dating part. Otherwise no. If someone protests being “friendzoned,” extra no with a side of no. (I’m an ENFP with past trauma so that adds to it).
ENFP guy here, and I’ve noticed that I always, always try my best to find excuses for the other person’s faults and shortcomings, and the way that I would eventually disconnect myself from that person would be when the cost of my self-argument and gaslighting isn’t worth the near non-existent effort or concern from the other person; or if the person really goes too far and does/says something that allows me to finally flip the switch from “Maybe” to “No”. I’ve had to let go of my grudges and get over the hate for the other person long after they were already out of sight, and the ENFP-specific reason to why that might be is probably our tendency to always implode any and all negativity for the sake of showing our best side to the people that may just be our best friends/significant others for a long time; and that when a person doesn’t reciprocate or even negates our best efforts of building something that will last and remain enjoyable, our obligation to defend our prospective friend/future spouse gets destroyed and all that is left is a lot of toxic waste to be cleaned up in the next couple of months. Dear non-ENFPs reading the comments, please don’t take your ENFP friend/family/SO’s quirkiness for granted when you are with them, and know that the one thing that ENFPs have the hardest time doing is to communicate their angst with you; and the only ways that you could hear that dissatisfaction from us are if you overheard us talking to ourselves(if we are nice), or if you overheard us talking to someone else(if we are mean).
@@TehEpicAsian715 yesss 100%!! And by the same token, it's the want to give that person all the affection and excitement you can, and only later realize that you basically manufactured their interest in you and made excuses for a whole field of red flags :/
As an INTP, I guess I should interpret this as "We have a lot of things to waste our time on, but you are not one of them." If an INTP doesn't like you, they sorta sound like NPCs with the most dull and boring responses known to man. 😂
Exactly this. It's not even that I hate you or dislike you, it's more like you're demanding time and energy from me that I would be much better allocating literally anywhere else.
I'm an ENFP and it does take me ages to decide on something, but when it's set it's set. I also find sometimes I seem like I'm more flirty with ppl I'm not into than with the very very select few I end up interested in
INFP here, and this is true...to an extent. Personally, if I am not into you I will avoid you. I will still be polite towards you but I will give one word answers or act like I didn't hear you/see you. This is my subtle way of telling you to back of/not interested. If you continue to push, don't catch the hint or behave in a disrespectful manner then all bets are off. You will get ghosted or i will directly tell you to back off. In either case, you no longer exist. You will never see or hear from me again. If we have to interact because of work (for example)then I will be cold, direct and only engage with you when its absolutely necessary. It's not to be intentionally rude but I don't want to give false hope or any idea that there might be a chance.
Yep. I don't pretend to listen so much as listen without saying anything back but "huh" or "gotcha" or "right." (And for some reason they keep. Talking.) Whereas if I'm interested in you I'll respond and ask questions.
infp here.....yup, there will be very limited interaction and mostly about getting just the facts as quickly as possible, then getting outta there. or if the person has ya a bit cornered, it’ll be a lot of “hm. yup.” and prob some fake multitasking.
As an ENFP I want to thank you FJ for making me realise that that’s an actual formula for me to understand if I have true feelings or not. Cause for past 2 years I only “ liked” anyone for two weeks max, and those two weeks resembled of my feeling being on and off like: OH WOW LOVE OF MY LIFE then being like meh I actually don’t care and don’t want to see this person ever again. At the end I always realised that I actually didn’t like them at all from the start. Oofff now I can end my suffering of understanding what’s up with me haha
I’m ENFP who takes a WHILE to know if I am interested romantically, must be friends first or building a friendship with the flirting or dating part. Otherwise no. If someone protests being “friendzoned,” extra no with a side of no. (I’m an ENFP with past trauma so that adds to it).
ENFP too, I have a strange way to see relationship due to my previous experience . I tend to Say "relationship" to englobe love And friendship And I see it as a spectrum instead of either love or friendship. But in general, I know I am in love when a certain feeling is too much for logic. For exemple : I had a best Friend that I wondered if I was in love with him or not. We Always went back from school with the same bus. But one friday, he manage to get on the bus without me And it made me angry all the weekend. I knew it wasn't his fault, that it was really imature and not logical to be angry at him because of this . But I couldn't help it. My Bad feeling didn't diseappear. I was more sensitive than usual. This is were I understood that my feeling for him were more serious than I tought. Another Time, I had a crush on someone I met on a party And weeks later, I told it to a common Friend . But the simple fact to prunonce his name made me smile a lot And made me happy. And I tought myself "why am I so happy just by telling his name ? I tought it was a simple crush that I would forget two weeks later. But my feelings are deeper than that". And to this day I think I still have feeling for him, Even if he doesn't feel the same. To Bad I really fall in love once every five year And only with people that are not into it. 🥲
You really did great with this one. I immediately recognized the ISFP's looking through me and the ESFJ's absence of laughter. Me as an ENFP (who also felt well portrayed in this video) moved to a flat with three ESFJ girl roommates once. They were always laughing about everything for no reason and as soon as I entered the room the laughter just stopped. Eventually they came around, but man that was cruel for some time! :D I felt like I was Darth Vader.
I’m an ISTJ, and I absolutely keep things work oriented when I don’t like someone. It’s not even just from a romantic standpoint; it goes for friendship too. If I don’t want to be friends, I’ll keep things very surface level and focused on accomplishing the task at hand.
Hi, may I ask you. I am INTP with ISTJ friend. We fought like 2 months ago, she really mad at me. She used to open up to me at everything even the smallest detail of her activities or problem but now she didn't want to talk about her problems. We shared the same niche interest and she only want to talk to me about our interest and she respond to me as soon as possible. Is she still want to be friend with me? I mean does ISTJs will likely to reply text instantly as you got if you don't like that person?
ESFJ here. People usually think we are interested when we aren’t because of our love of people. So, yes, when we want to shut down someone we aren’t interested in, we will try not to be our normal level of friendly. We try to not give any feedback and get cold (which is really hard for us).
Spot on for infj! There have been times where I would say something but then also realize it can also have this other meaning and come across as something I wasn't implying.. leading the guy on by accident and making me break into a little sweat of the sudden realization, then I'll try to further explain myself in what I actually meant with what I said.. just to be sure 😳
"--FJ's will laugh even when something isn't funny" ...I unintentionally and immediately laughed at that (probably because it was relatable) -an INFJ Also my INFP brother has adhd, so not listening isn't necessarily a sign of lack of interest
I'm an isfp and you are correct. I am morally opposed to fakeness of any sort. So as soon as you give me a real reason not to like you, and its rare that I judge a person on that level, I turn up the extroverted sensing to the point that you just become another object in the room, no different from a lamp or a table.
As an ISTP, it's quite accurate. I never thought about it like this, but i do always have a lot of things going on at the same time, try to do them all, but don't have strict plans :)). If i want to hang out with someone, i'm 85% sure i can make it happen and then figure out later when to do everything else. Why do i torture myself like this? How am i organised, disorganised, anxious and spontaneous all at the same time?
Bro I feel you. Why do I ice out people that I was never into in the first place in one breath, but then I'm stupidly going to this pizza place every few nights to see one of the employees when I damn well know their food tastes like ass?
I'm an INFP, and I can't relate to the listening thing. So much is going on up in my head that even if I actually care about the person talking AND the conversation, if it goes on long enough OR something reminds me of another thing that starts a train of thoughts in my head, I'll just zone out and be like "Wait what- say that again?" when I hear something that's so bizarre it snaps me out of my train of thought
(Adding onto it) So basically I could just completely zone out after being totally attentive, and then you say something like "And then she threw the dog down the stairs" and I'll be like **snaps out of it** "wAIT WHAT? SHE DID WHAT?" *laughing even though i have no idea what the part of the story leading up to it was*
@@NeonAGC That, to me, is a clue that the person or people around you are babbling nonsense. I think we INFPs are good at tuning that shit out, at least until we hear something just that shocking. Especially if someone throws an animal down stairs. And if I don't want to get called out for "not listening," I'll just say "WTF? That's messed up!" And then let my genuine irritation show that ANYONE would throw an animal in any capacity. 😜
@@a.katherinesuetterlin3028 I do tune pretty much everything out unless it directly relates to or interests me, so I suppose that does make sense. Like you can lose my attention within two seconds if you start going on about something that doesn't concern me AND isn't of any urgent importance to YOU either. I don't wanna hear a rant about how dumb the president is, I don't wanna hear you go ON AND ON about how high the inflation is and how stupid everyone is for ignoring the solution, I don't care to listen to you complaining about the same person with some fresh new story for the hundredth time, and I don't want to hear some rant about how the world is falling to destruction because I've heard it ENOUGH. Oh and I don't want to hear about the dimensions of a building we're likely never going to build.. So when topics like those come up, almost like an instinct I just *disconnect.*
@@NeonAGC Oh, dude, I feel ya on the repetitive shit. 😅 It's worse when the repetitive shit is coming from a narcissistic individual who gets upset if they're challenged, let alone tuned out.
@@a.katherinesuetterlin3028 It's my mom who usually makes the repetitive conversation. And when I try to walk away she's just like "OH AND YOU KNOW WHAT-" and then I just sigh exasperatedly like "What now? I have things I gotta do rn" ... her: "Oh, what things?" *completely stops what she was about to say* Me: "I have work to do" .. Her: "OH, speaking of work, can you do **blank** chore for me real quick? OH OH AND **blank** TOO?" Me in my mind: "I LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU I WAS BUSY WITH SOMETHING ELSE AND NOW YOU'RE GIVING ME MORE THINGS THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO THIS SECOND?! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!" ... Also me, but actually out loud: **annoyed sigh** "Fine.."
As an ISTP, I even start finding "schedule conflicts" when I'm just low on energy for you. It doesn't always mean I don't like you, but if you've been talking to me too much, I gotta get some space. IF I LIKE YOU I WILL COME BACK. If I don't like you...bye.
As an INTP I can confirm that this anecdote is true. For example: there's this one person who texts me constantly even though I almost NEVER respond. It's just like, get the message already.... . . . . ....god, mom!!!
This is creepily accurate. I am an INFJ and that was spot on. I've often talked about how words leave an impact, so I am very careful with what I say because I know how it could be taken. And I've definitely done that, avoided using future tense or saying "us" or "we" in certain cases just to make sure I'm not leading them on.
INFP here, if I don’t like you, Ima be trying so hard to show you I don’t like you but be respectful at the same time. Like as FJ said, I will pretend I’m listening but really I’m just daydreaming or I’m overthinking you liking me and me not liking you back.
As an ENTP I can confirm this is spot on. When I’m with someone I’m not interested in, I often become mute, and find providing one word answers to be too much.
oh man the ISFP one is so true. I'll be super friendly to som1 but once I know that they're into me and I'm not I'll just pretend like they don't exist. not being rude I just super careful not to give them fake hope or smthn which is in my opinion is way more painful for both of us. it's just I can't keep talking to u while knowing what's going on and I'll just hurt u someday.
As an INTP, that is something i can mostly agree with that. Most of the time when I get a message i reply immediately, but after hearing the notif sound and seeing its someone i dislike i will ignore the msg for 3 weeks, then reply saying “sorry just got the msg” and act like nothing happened… 👀 But if i ignore you for 3 weeks, you really should get the feeling that i dislike you tbh
this INTP is a bit timid around phones and messages have gone missed for months, no one would actually know if I didn't like them or was just being normal
As someone who goes from INFJ to ENFJ in phases of life, I often run into issues of people thinking I'm into them, OR I'm actually into them and they either don't feel the same way...that's probably just life though. On the inverse, I often have to be direct in telling someone I'm not into them like that, which is always awkward. I become the villain, suddenly. Like I'm "stuck up" which just isn't the case. For those of us who are open to relationships, we're all looking for our best matches. No one has to "settle" with someone they really don't want to, anymore. For the lonely hearts out there, I'm the same as you. I look, but not too hard, for partners. The prospect of giving my limited time to another scares me all over again. Anyway...best of luck to all of you seeking love out there! I genuinely hope it goes well. 😊👍 If you get rejected, smile because now you have a whole new option, right? STAY STRONG. 💪 Become the incredible person you envision.
The INFJ self analysis and thinking of the whole script of responses from the next person and that whole convo in mind is just very much relatable. I do this every single time. In all circumstances, I get that if I say this then they would perceive/feel it like this and then they would be reacting like this leading to going the convo in this specific direction. And that is what our intuition says. So we just select the best convo script which I want to continue with the person for the best of both of us. If INFJs are interested or into you, then they would be doing deep conversations involving both of them. If they are not, then they would just be faking their talk and personality which is superficial. They might not be saying this upfront but they would just be not fully going in or indulge themselves in the conversation to the point that they lost track of time. If they do the latter, it's normal or maybe they are into you. If they seem less sharing their feedbacks, advices, thoughts etc after listening to you so much or like when they do normally then they are just not into you. It's like they would talk, but they wouldn't.
Omg. ENTJ is so accurate. Before I heard that I supposed that the answer will be: "oh, they will ignore you". However. Not asking questions (even stupid sometimes) is even MORE accurate. Like. I always ask questions to have a nice and pleasant conversation with person (sometimes for hours). Question are the good way to have some kind of leadership in the dialogue so you can always rule it. But when I don't want to talk with someone, I usually do not ask questions. In these situations straight answers and no questions are my everything.
I usually remember what people say to me for a very long time so as an INFP, this feels accurate. But at the same time I tend to zone out a lot but I can't really help it
Holy molly, that's so spot on. I'm an INFJ and whenever I know someone is into but does not tell I will be very careful of my choice of words. I won't say something too direct or harsh but somehow never mention something possible for us. Never projecting you in any project or idea...
INFP here - That was ON THE NOSE. I almost always listen intently. But I recall one dinner date that I didn’t want to go on. We were sitting across the table from each other in a quiet restaurant. I could tell he was talking because I could see his lips moving. But apparently my brain just turned the volume to “off” because I didn’t hear a word he said.
I’m ENFP who takes a WHILE to know if I am interested romantically, must be friends first or building a friendship with the flirting or dating part. Otherwise no. If someone protests being “friendzoned,” extra no with a side of no. (I’m an ENFP with past trauma so that adds to it).
Most of the time I relate most to INFJ but in this one I can see myself doing different ones with different people. I guess that tracks with the INFJ though because it's basically not giving the type of feedback that the other is looking for. I think that trauma causes INFJs to be great mimics without realizing that they're doing it. We're constantly trying to get people to like us and if we don't want someone to like us we're probably picking up some very unsettling vibes.
As an INFP I always try to listen to people and rarely ignore someone talking. But sometimes I try so hard to listen... I get sleepy. 😑 This actually happened once while listening to my crush. 😅 She was a cute INTP.
ISFJ is so accurate, not so much about romantic interest but social interest full stop. Conscience wouldn't allow me to cancel point blank or invent a fake excuse but I would definitely opt to help someone else with whom I feel more comfortable, as a means to avoid a more uncomfortable situation.
For me (ISTP), not liking someone is really a physical thing. If it is someone I really dislike, even being in the same room as that person is uncomfortable. Touching that person in any way feels disgusting. Basically, I just don't want that person into my sensory world, so I will actively avoid them. The old "out of sight, out of mind", I guess.
As a ENFJ...I do exactly that. And I really don't know how to stop it. But if I don't like you and your energy is at 100, mine will be at 10 then. And that is my best effort of trying to be nice to the people I don't like
as an esfp I can confirm that this is how it is I really don't take pride in getting the other person to start the conversation, especially in the situation where I don't like them romantically but I still care about them so I end up starting a conversation to communicate this feeling
As an INFP I used to be a good listener, but now I have problems listening to anybody. I "fall out" all the time when people are talking to me. Am I just not into anybody anymore?
You may just be on a different wavelength than the ppl you're around. If you're vibing waaay up here (you have your emotional and spiritual stuff together), and the ones you're often around are vibing waaay below that (all they wanna do is talk about themselves, act like they're hot stuff when you know they're not, and basically still into things you've grown out of on a spiritual level), then it may be time to find some people who are more on your vibe level, or be okay with going hermit mode for a bit until the Universe sends you the right peeps. In other words, it's perfectly fine to not be in a specific relationship with anyone. You have to learn to love and accept yourself first, and not accept crumbs. And I am speaking as an INFP empath who has done this kind of work. Be social with people on your terms, and if they're not into you or vice versa, it's okay. You have bigger fish to fry than try to be everything to everyone, let alone find a romantic love. Love will find you when it's time, and not a moment before. Trust me on this one, my fellow INFP. 🤗
Maybe you're emotionally burned out? Sometimes we care so much that our batteries get low and we need to get away from people for a bit to recharge. IDK but maybe that's a reason??
