Very often people who grow up in toxic homes will end up with a toxic partner. I remembet when I met my narc, he felt familiar because he treated me exactly as bad as my family did. After 2 years, I stayed with him for another 4 months just to understand why I, as a grown independent woman, would allow this clown in my space! I got to learn about trauma bonding, lack of boundaries and people pleasing as my main weakness. When I broke up with him, I thanked him for teaching about myself. The look on his face was priceless because he had no more power to hurt me.. I've had to go for therapy to learn to have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries; letting people know what is acceptable or unacceptable. My personality went from Joyce to Zulu. I have no tolerance for meanness anymore. So what if you were abandoned by your father? Are you the first to have this problem? What have you done for yourself inorder to heal? Long story short, I stopped being a rehabilitation center for broken people.
Ehhhhh that's me, I never knew am toxic or a narcissist till today. I blame game a lot, I belittle, I complain, I argue, insecurities is like a gift, in fact when he says some people are so insecure they ask for pictures to prove you are where you claim to be, I totally get it because I am that. I always see the fault was my ex and not mine, is true am completely blind to my mistakes and weakness but will highlight my partners mistakes and weaknesses, and the level of selfishness in me is so great it's all about me, me, me me. am a narcissist, think the challenge now is working on it. WHAT A LIFE TRANSFORMING SHOW.
When people show you who they’re,believed them.Don’t waste your time in trying to change people who have condition their mind not to.I have been there and all these points confirmed all that I experienced with the toxic guy.No communication,no respect,no appreciation,no love.Which reduces my self esteem.but I’m happy I finally walk away.🙏🏻🙏🏻
I'm watching from Zimbabwe 🇿🇼🇿🇼 . I love your show, Dr Zulu thank you for educating us on this subject which is never taught in school. From your serial discussions if I could write an exam of courtship and marriage I will be an A+ student 😀😀😀
One thing I will tell you After living in Europe and US and dating European Asian and Latina women there is nothing like an African woman I took African Women for granted because I was living abroad but decided whaaaa Mimi nataka a Kenyan woman or African and yes I’m getting engaged to a Kenyan woman . Our women are very special .
Currently dating a lady who is always fault finding and accusing me of past mistakes. I keep apologizing but blames seem to keep coming. Old faults Revived everytime
I was in one too ...yes its hard to leave,narcissist always wants to control you and blame everything on you, always want to be praised..and this will always put you down,draining yourself esteem.. I was ina distance relationship, and everytime am going out he would ask for photos and stay online throughout .this only made me feel so down always..but ilifika a point I put my heart aside and started thinking with my brains then I made a decision. And started talking to people.. watch out
This has been my life for 17yrs every time l try to live he change like for a long time and l think all good then boom everything come back.. Am physically, emotionally, mentally drained..
I’m also undergoing through this at the moment have tried to leave several times,he gets back apologizes i then feel pity for him and forgive him give another chance.But no changes at all,Plz help on how to walk away I feel tired
One day discuss pride and overblown ego not only in men or among daters but also among ladies... Ladies need to k ow they have some bad ego that suffocates relationships even among themselves.
You admit it that's good. All the best keep working. I am a daughter of a narcissistic mom and she says that its who she is we must learn to live with it. I promise u she will end up alone because me and my siblings realised who she is and dare we start working... I'm a university student
My mother is narcissistic and she is hard as hell to live with. Like Mr. Zulu says she blames me and her other children for everything and she doesn't listen and she knows it all. She's very hard to communicate with.
You inspired me to leave a comment here. Thaz exactly my mother!!! I bet she's 100 times more narcissistic than your mother😥 I thank God today u got the right term I can understand her with. I'm always the most available brat to be put blames on 😭😭even when am far in the city,the blames will just be waiting for me🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙆🏼♀️😭😭😭
@@Lee_Stanley Oh wow, bless your heart. That's so sad you have to go through that. I hope things get better for you; my heart goes out to you luv. A friend girl of mine has a mom just like ours and due to COVID we both lost our jobs and were FORCED to live with her. It's been an uphill battle for the both of us. But, one day she tearfully asked the question: "Tell me, WHY do we have to go through this abuse? What did we do to deserve this?? I told her, "Absolutely Nothing. This is NOT our problem this is HER problem and we are only going through it because we have to live with her but once we both get on our feet again and get our own place we no longer will have to dance to our abuser's music. We will gain back our control and have peace.
Start where u are dear it's never too late u can't live by ua past just forcus ad know other things where just made to happen to sharpen your maturity.
Great learning, would appreciate if we can have subtittles in English when you are stressing points in your own language for international viewers. It's so good that sometimes I feel I'm missing out on important content. You are doing a good job keep it up
What differentiates control fro just having standards. I ask this cause when a woman tells you she doesn’t need a partner who does this and that, for example when she doesn’t want a guy that smokes and drinks, they call that standards and she a man says he doesn’t want the same thing most of the times he’ll be called controlling and her friends will even tell her that her man is controlling
I like your program a lot, it’s quite educational and informative,but you guys inject your language, that’s fine am a proud African too but If you do, please, do translate to English, am from London and I do sometimes get lost in your conversations. Do keep up the great work 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿💕
Hallo Winnie!🙂 trust me if u cldn't bear anymore and left.....it means u did ur best and shldn't regret.....it is had to advise u without u mentioning exactly what problems u faced.....identify the badhabits u cldn't stand or was "he" narcissist and ur feeling lost after all u went through???!!☹ Tell us so we can help u and i really hope Benjamin can advice you. Anxiety is a serious symptom and shld be taken seriously. Have u seeked couselling?
Thank you so much Mr Zulu for being on this show..you are being helpful to me I've been hurt so many times even now I dont like man but listening to you I'm beginning to heal..watching from South Africa may God bless you
Jeniffer watching from southern Africa, I like Zulu dud u get ur name from this side what about a man who feel he is very clever than everyone, he can't even let other men talk leave alone women.
Iam glad to hear u say smthg like this.....even if i donot thk so coz Narcissistics will never admitt that they r the problem. They always blame their partners....otherwise apologies is a gd start and wanting the best together. Teamwork!
Hey Zulu, could you discuss on the behaviours of partners who loss parents at a younger age and use this as an escape part of why they are narcissistic....... Please do a show on this..... 👏👏Thanks in advance 😊
I actually caught this channel by surprise and so glad I did. Much needed! 💞 He talked too fast 🥺... it's hard to understand everything he's saying. 🤔 🥴💝 Unfortunately, I'm African American born and raised. So, forgive me... it's just hard to comprehend everything. However, I love the teaching! Thank you so much! 🙏🏾 💕
I dated a toxic and dumped him within less than 6 months stress and frustration weugh !!! He could call randomly any missed call is followed by messages , video call , he could complain about me eating supper late wake me up with a video call at 4am that he wants to see if I'm alone on bed 😂 ...the day itold him we end the relationship he almost stabbed me with aknife , irane call the police when he heard that the police were coming he escaped ,and started sending me threatening messages , I shifted to another estate very far from where i was living he came later looking for me after 1 month when he found out ishifted he was angry and sending threatening messages to me .....guys ran away from narcissist
I really love dis program but can u pls speak English through out because my question was asked by someone n I didn't hear anything because all was explained in your language
I wish I had known this the first time I met them everything was true that they were toxic oh my God 3yrs and 4months of errors waah thank Jesus I left
One of my question is how can I get to communicate to my partner about her pulling away due to reasons that I may have caused her to do so but when I ask her to forgo what happened she says that in her own time she'd do so?its been months now and everytime I bring up the topic it's another case all together..how can I get her to stop pulling away and actually work on the situation at hand.
I know couple who cheat on each n post each on social media. It's all false, people' are not claimable, I II never brag or pride over a woman. I have to admit that I'm a broken person who needs some healing n growing, as for now I trust no woman
I think this has happened to me I had such a person e always had petty issues.. Eg... I remember him saying am ignorant coz I didn't wish him a happy birthday.. And he didn't even know it was his birthday... I decided to move on... Its really crazy.. I called him he never picked... The next time he picked he told me he had cold he couldn't have talked.... And I was like no for me.... The phone can be typed then... Sms if you can't talk
honestly i fell in love with a man who had nothing for six years... i took him as a blood brother with pure love... the intention was marriage but siku aliomoka hee Mungu ni nani,,, i came to realized that it was his poverty background and environment that helped him to conceal his true characters waaa he was planning a wedding with another lady behind my back yet i used to be his prayer warrior, financier and emotional support waa it was no thank you,, no respect mmm i learnt a lot though i cant say i was an Angel
