Signs You Are Healing From Narcissistic Abuse | Top 4 

I dunno. I’m healed and I’m still fascinated and interested in the constant learning and changing information as knowledge on narcissists become more prevalent! But yes this video and him doing on about “why this and why that” ya that not healed. ❤

This is so true💔

Sigh it truly feels that way...

As you experienced narsissistic treatment, you are more able to discribe it overall.

I'm learning more at this point about the pitfalls and how to avoid one of these demons going forward

Amen🙏

I don't know how to get there

You will someday

@vrose6372 there’s no roadmap. Choose yourself everyday, whatever that means for you, and it happens organically.

And don’t forget to laugh! See humor. Make jokes! Elevate you soul and internal spirit. Lighten your life! ‘Happy’ in your life will make you available to happiness.

🙏

Yaaaaaay!! Took me 51 years. Congratulations to us both! ❤

Amazing. I'm turning 56 soon. This message came at the perfect time. Life begins again in a great way.

Took me 48 years to walk away.

Congrats!!!!

Took me a long time,I went back and forth he groomed me After watching these videos it helped me block him and go on, he freaked me out,the most charming man,and uses his X s death to also be the victim

Yes, it was… I do all the things he stated…saving screen shots, watching videos 24/7 etc…. Literally have no memory at all from the extreme exhaustion of trying to figure this out…

Me too.

I wish I was aware enough to do that while I was being abused.

😢

holy shit, that is me, the thing you said about don't ever remember anymore why I'm struggling for so long@@Shellybelly377

I feel that

True it hurts! Even when you expect it !

So happy to hear that. Im in the pain right now.

What about when you passionately wish for the discard, but the narc depends on you for survival? On the flip side, when moving on could kill the narc, almost literally, how to move on and deal with that guilt. 😢

Yes, it hurts but think of it as liberation. They have discarded you but it's not a loss, imagine stretching and growing without ridicule and abuse to keep you small. They control you to stop your growth just so they then criticize you for not reaching your potential. Be happy, be free.

Praying for God to take me pealed off my outer layers, and I've never felt so raw. Several dark nights of the soul up until that point of the peeling brought me to that point of indifference. It felt like I had no skin. It was extremely painful, but it worked.

👀

Yes! Absolutely!

Omg you phrased it perfectly

Have any of your partners told you you were being a covert narcissist? My ex had a narcissistic Mother and My girlfriend was covert and the discard was difficult, but so freeing once I managed to let go of my limerence towards her.

I hear you. My narcissistic father (who I cut off 5 years ago) and his abuse toward myself and my mum has cause SO much damage & I fully believe my 25 yr marriage to another narcissist was a direct consequence of how I was ‘parented’. I am free now and healing as best I can and I send you a big hug❤

Me too. All the best in your healing journey.

❤

Me too. I've been in all abusive relationships because of my Narc Mom. How could that happen??

Still not sleep but silent yes.

Pain in head and stomach gone

Good for You Jill👍

No on high alert to serve the N. A little bit of peace after chaos.

That made me actually laugh out loud, but in agreeableness haha

So true.

Yes, there is, but they don’t realise it.

@@user-kf3yz7so6q Crazy people probably think normal people are sick.

So was I. But that's done now.

THIS. EXHAUSTED. SO TRUE.

Me tooo … just tired

I went through that too, and as this video said, I was very damaged. The recognition function had deteriorated and I feel like I have to pay attention to people who I have no interests of inside honestly. I was wondering why I had to do this many times even though I KNOW that I am not honestly interested in specific someone yet I keep paying attention to. There is a counsellor who writes great blogs on this and he mentioned because of your malfunctions of the brain, you kept doing that. The reason of malfunction of the brain is because you are damaged from those psychological abuse and harrassment. It explained very well. So once you are healed, you no longer pay any attention to those who do not show any interests on you. Then you can naturally pay attention to those who treat you well with respect and love.

I feel this! The narcissist I knew would always try to control every single thing especially when it came to food.

He would stare at me and criticize me getting seconds when we had food gatherings with friends. After leaving him I gained 30 pounds. I was severely underweight. I feel sooo much better now.

Narcissists only get worse as the years go by. Narcissists can do a lot for you: Pay the rent, pay the mortgage; help you pay for your car; pay some of your bills; take you on expensive vacations. buy you nice things; tell you how much they love you all the time. Yet, narcissists tell you what to do with your own money; what to say; how to act; what to wear; how to look; and put all kinds of demands and restrictions on you that only get more controlling. You are not allowed to get angry with them or you are called ungrateful, crazy, stupid, mentally incompetent; and the worst person they have ever known. Talking to narcissists is a waste of time or dangerous; as it can lead to ugly and abusive fights where some narcissists can physically hurt you. Narcissists are secretive about what they do with their money and where they go. However, they want to know wherever you go. Narcissists are quick to accuse you of having an affair if you want time to yourself; or they are having an affair. God help you if you get sick or disabled. A narcissist may refuse to care for you or put you in a home or out in the street. You will need to leave before this happens. It is better to have less money and be alone than with a narcissist. If you spouse is not honest with you about money, he/she could leave you with nothing and cause you to remain in probate until the money runs out; or be planning to have you leave first. If you don't have a copy of a legally valid will and trust in your name that is really red flag. A good spouse won't do this to you.

With all my respect every word is true.I set bounderies he breaks them ,I was in court ,he dont afraid of judges ,called police couse he grabbed me on the way home beat me and rape me.We share custody ,very sick mindset ,I should call police every time he calls me on my phone.

My narcissist was so bad that she even had the nerve to seduce her therapists husband. Nothing had boundaries for her. Many decades of my life were lost and I suffered everyday for almost 60 years. I was lost in the abuse. Finally I had enough. Stay away from your abuser, you don't need them.

​@@RebelsBestFrienddamn that hurts. 60 years? I'm not gonna blame you, we all know how it is to be stuck in there. Sounds like she's more like a mix of narcissist and more cluster B stuff. I'm sorry for you. How are you doing today?

They are sick

yes, boundary and no emotional connection! thank you for reminder. As I feel little weak or sad, those boundaries and emotional connections can be broken easily then there comes a narcsisst. It has been the pattern for a decade and I am determined to change. so no contact, blocking and never look back!

Just like if you are raised in a family that has members of it with autistic spectrum disorder I should imagine. You might not even have it but it would have an affect socially on your presentation and choices, same as being raised around npd. You might confuse the two and have to learn the difference. Or be tripped and choose wrong once or twice. I suspect but don't know people who spend lots of time "scouring through narcissistic forums" Reading a lot, not watching a lot which is trackable activity might be doing that detective work. There's a corollary and there needs to be research done into the cross pollination. It's not either or. It's actually black and white thinking and a largely underdiagnosed group for what was 'aspergers' now autism is older professionals Despite being diagnosed as dyslexic at university years ago. Another non psychological disorder reason for a terrible memory btw. Neurodivergent people are different and different people are often missed, misunderstood and misdiagnosed. But plot twist by neishe interest (professionals) often wordy people who just have more money, who if working class would have some issues. Which is something people like Dr's and psychologists and anyone who has a obsessive tunnel vision /special interest doesn't do purposefully. But I bet you it's a thing. When you are a Dr, or professional nobody is going to tell you your on the autistic spectrum. Or suffering with something, anything rarely You may unwittingly medically gaslight people. Perhaps if you get into trouble with the authorities and then it's all iffy diagnosis to fit the perceived crime anyway in my opinion. Which is another can of worms So "if" I'm right, professionals and high profile people are under or over diagnosed, misunderstood themselves and not treated with total impartiality as a group. Perhaps if someone wants to derail them, they may face an audit. But not perpetual audit like the lower classes which causes other issues. Often health issues from incessant stress quite frankly. With the same outlook at getting the correct diagnosis and help for those. But what all that does is shift people around at the will of the middle who consume a lot but don't make a lot and talk a lot. But control a lot. They press like or scroll away it makes or breaks people but they are not scrutinised often, stuck behind a screen that costs the earth 'puzzled" a lot. If they are pressed they have sharp tongues and elbows and good lifeboats. It's online. It's offline. And they pay for whichever diagnosis fits their pockets. No scrutiny, just perpetually giving it. Up, down, left, right, left. Self autonomy and responsibility is very expensive Not understanding asd in any mental health capacity Is absolutely absolutely irresponsible It's like not understanding conductors and being an electrician There will be people getting labelled the wrong ways forever otherwise. That's not professional or maintainable. The young people get it. The Days are numbered of not getting it. These professionals need to take a short break Do a little taster to start, a low brow course free at the local college like most mums in the country had to when education changed and didn't accommodate their kids Many ironically with kids just like the professionals now actually were. Heave ho. Get off the Internet and learn about it. Communities know. A bit like npd it's a neiche topic you either do or don't understand. Kids do, more than most wordy psychologists. Little kids on scooters. They knew to learn about it all and fight back against negative choices adults made for a start. Literally little girls who live near me, know more about asd and its social implications than looking at psychologists online. I can't wait for them to take over. Frankly, especially the little mixed race one who's nan is fast on a till. Try to Keep up with her.

@@Beth-iv4lj I agree, young people are becoming much better versed in areas of mental health than a lot of older working professionals. That understanding without wisdom, though, is also very dangerous. I’m not sure if it’s more or less dangerous than the incompetence/ignorance of many working mental health experts. But for those young people that do continue their understanding and the open source of good information for those that pursue it, I believe it is going to be a great net positive and a lot of these working stiffs will be dethroned.

@@sandialoser hopefully their knowledge becomes a profession and they don't get oppression by them. That's their understanding right now

Wow you said my thoughts in words...Felt always growing up with my covert NPD mom...Thank god finally I am healing at 41..But the damage is done already..It seems everything I have to learn from start...Real struggle of life..Seems a new life to start off now

@@nandinigogoi2584 This to me is one of the hardest parts. I’m 36 and there are a number of aspects of my person I’ve had to rebuild from scratch. No childhood modeling, no parental guidance or feedback, etc. it’s like I’m just a boy in so many ways trying to fail forward. I’m grateful for progress but it’s still very hard.

very true, there is a blog of the counsellor I read and it is writing about what you said...for example, that they have no capacity to think of their defect yet they project that on you. Everything will be your fault because their brain capacity to perceive their shortage is not working...it seems very real. Then you start blaiming yourself that you are the one who is 'not enough' or 'do not deserve love or respect', so on. Then you start paying attention to those who do not always respect nor love you. It is your brain that's been damaged / hurt by the narcissist. It made clear for me that why they cannot accept their ugliness and nasty sides. No matter how many times and how you insist, they will not hear what you say. So It is crucial that you avoide those people when you see the pattern.

thank you for writing this, ive gone through the same process and it took many years to discover the truth. Ive almost healed, but its been a long road of understanding.

i agree i have gone very low contact with a family member and at the moment i can not leave my marriage But i have come to the same conclusions as you What helped me most was finding out about narcissistic people. I feel sad and still love these people but. i cannot change them

Thank you for this. Today was my first day of no contact with my husband (separated). I'm finding it difficult to ignore the guilt-inducing messages I'm getting...really makes one question if they are doing the right thing. I am set on sticking to my guns, but I can see it is going to be a "one day at a time" mentality. I'm thankful for communities like this. Thank you all.

@abbymckinney1337 Hey! I totally get it. When I left my ex, I got sucked into 9 months of caving to communication still, until one day it FINALLY clicked. He will never change. I changed my phone number and never looked back. He still emails me, but after 1.5 years of not responding, he is finally starting to get the message. NPD is a personality disorder. Unfortunately, there is no true help for these people. You need to come to terms with that.

@@kanhdahar2 That is wonderful to hear!!! It's a very difficult journey, but it's worth it!

Oh yeah, this is a big one for me too

I chose people who didn't respect me because I didn't have self-worth and never understood that I deserved better. My narcissistic mother made me feel unloved, and so I never learned to love myself, and because of this low self-esteem I made really bad choices for years and years. I realize now why it's so important for children to feel loved by their parents; otherwise, they don't learn to love themselves, and that's how many of us get sucked into these types of relationships. Without victim-shaming in any way, of course.

@@JL-ze5qm mentally I still heard the echoes of my mother. She passed on May 8. The sadness is that….a lifetime was wasted and many people hurt. I am starting to breathe deeper. I’m 55.

@@JL-ze5qm self worth was low and the shame too heavy.

@@opossumdreams I hear you. I'm 46 now and, looking back, I can't believe what I used to put up with due to low self-esteem. I've come a long way, I guess.

im glad to hear that, because i know its not easy. i dont have peace, but i had to realize that i fell in love with the mask and the woman i loved never really existed. after i said that to myself, i had an easier time coping with the feelings and pain. what lingers is the guilt and embarrassment of being fooled to such depth. good luck.

I wish I would’ve read your comment seven years ago seven years ago when I had my son I realize that shit she might be a narcissist and seven years ago the nurse overheard the way he was talking to me. I’ll never forget he said you can’t even change a diaper right how are you going to be a good mother first day? I had my son when I was in huge postpartum depression And I sent him for that for ruining my childbirth of my son but if I read this seven years ago up to where I am now up to the phase where I’m no longer validation. It’s pretty much I have to give the greenlight to leave if I had just read this seven years ago this might help but maybe I needed to go I had to go through the seven years. I only pray that my son grows with a pure heart and that after pulling the trigger on what needs to be done , completely divorce him I pray that my son and I heal and I hate that he hast to do things in front of my son that I have to explain daddy‘s can’t handle his emotions, but I don’t wanna also bash him. Nobody believes me and for the people that no longer believe me I no longer give a shit because I don’t need them to begin with, but it was so much I had to go through my own That I never wish on anyone you can literally end up feeling like you would be better off, not living on this earth by the abuse if you don’t help, but by the grace of God, I had people around me in the time I needed them to tell me I’m not crazy. I’m OK I’m being abused.

*he might be sorry I was using voice to text on my iPhone and it came out wrong lol

Right there with ya! These caged animals belong in jail truly

It ought to be!

The court system needs finished and well made case. Since the victim is the only witness and the witness has memory problems and usually would not testify then there is no case. And there is a good portion of volunteering in the victims behaviour too.

Hard to prove.

That's is how I feel,how come there is no punishment for them pulling us into their dysfunction

Some companies offer EAP with like 8 free sessions... Like big companies too. So often usually broke jobs have free therapy at least in America. Like McDonald's target Walmart.... Like soooooooo many. No doubt many many cannot afford but that's just an fyi in case it could help!!!

I think you can watch these videos and vent in the comments.

Therapy is overrated imo.

It's brutal if the therapist isn't familiar with dealing with NPD abuses and tactics. .

It’s not therapy, but you can call the domestic abuse hotline and talk through everything. They will confirm types of abuse and just listen as well, it’s free and open 24/7.

Yes! I’ve been dealing with it for 20 yrs.😢

I agree what you wrote too! I have felt exactly like my life had been wasted and stolen by the narcsisst. Then I have no other resources or close enough people other than my own original one (it is enough in a way but need more). Yet then I remind myself it doesn't mean that you need such an abuser in your life and rather the opposite. It is because you were not able to walk away from the abuser, you end up being in the same repetition of abuse and narcisstic people's game. I totally understand when you say, Covert Narcsisstic abuse is so terribly sadistic and diabolical that it is imppssible to explain it to somebody who does not understand it....I feel those people who haven't gone through such trauma is VERY lucky. I wish I was one of those who never knew what it was like. However it had happend. Never again. We will all heal completely!

Its times like this that make me feel lucky. That I didn't stick around to lose everything - but saw just enough to realise how much I had to fight for and return to

Yep, you are right. Everytime I would get into a relationship, my Narc Mom would have the most Demonic face possible, like I've done some thing wrong. Now as I'm older, I purely ignored her demonic face. Save it for your soul mate; THE DEVIL.

How come you're not NC? That's the only real way to completely heal.

Barley,survived a 12 year marriage with 2 children with him,tried leaving him for years, he chased me, caused me sooo much horrifying pain, I finally got away, became a single mom, unfortunately my 2 children act a lot like him, I raised them with love and support, so I think it is in there genes!! Thank You, long recovery of love and understanding !!! I pray for all who had to meet Evil!!!

​@@tinacastro8591No, it's not in their genes. You got to believe it. It's childhood trauma from having a Narcissistic father. Don't give up on them, even if they're showing narc traits. cPTSD can give rise to narc traits. Encourage them to be self aware, point out to them their destructive behaviour. Show them through your example as you heal your inner child and own your shadows

you are lying, scientist already verified, Narcissists Gene to another generations.. It's change genes.​@ArchAngel435

I say the same thing!!! I'm my own HERO!!! No more looking outside of myself for validation!!! The love I needed and looked to my ex husband (the narc) was right here inside of me!!! I'm so free and happy now!!!

@@MsTeelove07❤ I hope I’ll be able to say the same soon. Wish me luck 🍀

​@@vanamalaswathi5331 Richard has helped me a lot. Thank you Richard!! Also check out Chris Reece she has a biblical perspective...she has helped me out a lot as well.

I am on the path of the healing too! Great video, I am watching it several times so it sinks in.

thats not an easy battle. luckily my ex left me and the kids, and im trying to fix them along with myself. your childrens age has a lot to do with how much she uses and abuses them. the younger they are, the more they are manipulated. my 2 are teenagers now and see their mother for what she is a little more now, but there is a lot of damage. at some point your ex will stop using them as her source because they will stop supplying her, and once they stop and figure out what shes doing, she will abandon them too, but youll be there for them, and theyll see you always have been. good luck.

Good for you 🎉your freedom gives me hope

@@willowway9552 I accidentally got my replies mixed up so I apologize for that. I'm very new to replying and even commenting on RU-vid. It's really crucial for you to have hope when involved in a relationship with a highly toxic person. I'm happy that I was able to ignite that in you again. It's very possible to have a great life without them. It's not going to be easy but honestly one day all those months will pay off ten fold. You'll feel so much better and the whole mental gymnastics will be over!

Same. Literally everything verbatim except the genders are reversed.

Wow! So relatable.

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🥳

I did. 😢

Me too 😢

me too

I had a father who was a narcissist; and also a mean spirited step father who resented his step children. My mother was sort of a narcissist to cope. Dysfunction can be contagious.

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

Is he on instagram?

Yes he is dr.porassss.

Getting over the anger and confusion quite challenging. I still find that I'm disappointed in myself for allowing someone to do it to me.

I think I knew the whole time, but didn’t know the seriousness. She was a covert, so I really don’t think it bothered me as much as an overt narc would be. But she still took everything from me. I couldn’t laugh at something, because she wouldn’t laugh at what I thought was funny, but of course became part of her love bombing to come to me and show me things she found funny, and act like she loved me in doing this. That’s the lie that is obvious to miss. But I don’t hold myself responsible for putting up with it until the end of our marriage.

@@the_seanbarnes i know what you mean…but it’s kind of pointless and not very self-compassionate. I used to get so frustrated cos I thought, why didn’t I just leave sooner? A good therapist pointed out that I literally couldn’t leave sooner. I was too groomed…too abused. It took a decade of therapy for me to get to a point where I could leave. And even then it was very scary. Honestly, if I’d known how scary he would be I probably wouldn’t have gone through with it. But it was like jumping off a cliff…no going back when it was done. Took all my nerve to leave, and support from several key people too. Anyways…the point being, you didn’t let them do it…they just did it. It took us time to wake up and stop it. It’s not a fault…it just is. Thank goodness we’re free now, eh?

@@christopherbrubaker2070 i didn’t realize he was a narc til after I left. I just kind of thought he was an as**ole. And I couldn’t stand being around him…was so happy when he was out of the house and away for weekends with his friends. I didn’t care that I was alone raising the kids…it was so much better for all of us when he wasn’t there. For most of our relationship I thought the problem was me. It Took therapy to make me look at my relationship and réalise it would never change because he was the one who needed to make changes for me to be happy in a relationship with him and you can’t change another person…that therapist told me to either put up with it or leave. So I decided to put up with it….lol…right?!…..But then one year later I broke and I left. Thank goodness for that therapist. She told me like it was. It was in the years that followed that I realized the seriousness of what had happened to me because he was completely covert and people seemed to really like him…only when I split did some close friends and family and coworkers tell me what they really thought of him. Plus, he really showed his true colors when I left…man oh man, narcissistic rage I’d never seen before…

Getting over thé anger towards your self and biding your time to get out with thé least damage to yourself and others.💔🍀🌄🌈

To S-H S-H, "Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or for being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth." - Mahatma Gandhi You are being used as a scapegoat.

⁠@@zx81qwI need help! ASAP, I’m in a. Domestic abuse situation. My mum who’s a narcissist has complete control over my life and is abusing me. I need to get away but don’t know how. I now wanna die cause my life is going away everyday and it doesn’t get better just worse.

@@user-bw9fn7zj8fHey you there! First of all: Where do you live? I escaped my toxic parents, too. Years ago. Love from Germany

@@SummerOf1987 uk. I need help asap

omg 100% true

I just turned 58, and I too have been listening to this subject matter regarding my mom for about 7 mths. I’ve realized this has been happening all my life, and my younger sister by 8 years cut me off 7 years ago because I moved away and she couldn’t use me any more. She is now an “adult” pastor, on RU-vid, and her sermons are self serving and actually biblically incorrect and she twists everything to fit her meaning. She has actually lied about me, and her family about things that never happened. Thankful she cut me off, I couldn’t handle trying to be in a relationship with her, she makes me sick.

I am sure you will get back your life or more! It is good to realize the negative root cause so you don't have to repeat it over and over.

he a coke head

Exactly. Have no idea what that gossip is about. But Richard has nailed narcissism so accurately with a sense of humor and seriousness. He has been the most sane person with all the information which I also needed. This channel literally showed me a way out.

​@@JazzvanderKnoopwhat gossip?

@@JazzvanderKnoop he nails it because he is one. It’s not gossip it’s the truth.

@@JazzvanderKnoopWhere is this gossip coming from? 👀

Thank you for your post. 5 days! You give me hope ❤

Seems like he got away from you .. just from your response. Run run run

It’s been 4 months for me. I finally cried last night. First time I could cry. I just let it out. I have never felt so empty. 34 years of that abuse.

Same but backwards. I found out my narcissistic wife was having an affair. Like a fool I offered counseling but I said she had to choose me or him. She chose him. We were married 10 years and had two kids. To say it was hard would be an understatement. That was on July 1, 2023 and now I’m a single father but me and my kids are a lot happier. I’ve lost 50lb’s and I’m in much better shape than ever.

Yeah by one year out I felt better then suddenly felt bad not good enough and crying every day. I’m so glad I saved texts and read them a light went on in my head reading the rediculous bs. And suddenly I was like I DONT WANT TO BE GOID ENOUGH FOR THAT MONSTER!

I don’t love my narcissist mother. And can still love my woman. Many don’t love their narcissist mothers. Millions and millions

Right and no more video’s anymore, let’s live on .

I strongly relate to why you just said. Being yourself, free from constant criticism and judgment is the best feeling ever! I am very happy for you. I wish you all the best on your healing journey

I understand what you’re saying. I’m loving me and discovering the new and improved me. I also know I am the one with the power. Whew….

Are you living inside my head? 🥺 not anymore though. Have to keep reminding myself how much I am growing. Sending lots of love and support

Yes.

I thinkk the society hasn't helped .We are under alot of pressure to be in a relationship

The feeling is of a stolen life, of having lived in captivity for years. At the same time you hate that the narcissist has subjected you to this torture, you need to recover and be able to enjoy the rest of your life. It is a confusing and painful time that requires a lot of willpower Everything is absolutely spot on! When you are undergoing constant stress because of narcissistic abuse, you are unable to express what is going on in a clear way. You are somehow paralyzed. It is better not to say anything. Covert narcissistic abuse is so terribly sadistic and diabolical that it is impossible to explain it to somebody who does not understand it. Thank you

Jesus loves you!

I'm sorry for your pain and hurt. Jesus loves you ❤️

Imagine growing up into that numbness.

I had forgotten how to laugh… I envied those that could and could not imagine ever being able to. My 24 year old daughter is completely destroyed by her father. She still lives with him… her father kept her from me since she was 7 years old. I recently saw her for the first time in nearly 10 years. 😢. My heart and mind are such a mess… I don’t know how to help her.

I glad you doing better , hope you back to your own 100% version of yourself before the incident ❤

Feel you

As a cancer survivor, I must say, I'm happier now, when the relationship with narc is over, then when I was cured of cancer.

Love your name and opening statement, @squidward187

Yes that really hit home for me. There is nothing there. The number of times I saw my mother's eyes and they were just kind of empty.

They are empty! No longer caring about my ex-husband, not in a sadistic way, but in a self-nurturing way, and sorry, not sorry! As an empath, I have to accept the fact that caring too much about some people is a sickness of its own.

They are joy-suckers! Run!

My narc husband is always complaining about how" needy" other people are... Exhausting! Putting others down makes him feel good. He is so angry when he talks about what others have done to slight him. he is the needy one but will never see this

Absolutely!

True. If you're the only one willing to go to therapy, which is often the case, GO by yourself for your own sanity and healing. I can't and wouldn't force anyone to go, they'd only be resentful. All that ever happened the one or two times they grudgingly attended was pretty interesting to witness while having a witness there to simply state facts and ask valid questions. It was the last time that ever happened. In hindsight , I am sooo thankful they were NOT there so I could speak plainly and do some healing. It was me that needed to heal and I was more than glad to have gone when I did.

@@EmberAsh Yes. Twice in my life I sought therapy. The first time was in an attempt to save my marriage but he walked out on the third session. We got divorced. The second time was after I left a narcissist. I sought therapy and went for a little over a year and it was very helpful.

That's a milestone I had to deal with and after that my whole identity changed... no more magical thinking. Even personality changes because you are aware of the invisible maze you were conditioned into.

There are lots of normal people. The problem is that most all of them are cowards, not fighters. All it takes for evil to flourish is for good to do nothing long enough. The good of the world has to stop being cowards and start taking evil on head-on with the intention that it will never let it have control over anyone ever again.

@@thecustodian1023 I don't consider cowards to be normal. I actually avoid them like a plague that you say they are. Courage is a muscle ,and the flesh is weak.

Nah. You just look for the narcs.

@@ruckusrevolution9475 maybe.ultimately they are more entertaining than the cowards could be .

As being also a victim, I read that memory loss is a result of very high level of cortisol (stress hormone) that causes hippocampus shrinkage. There are ways to increase the size of the hippocampus again. One of them is EMDR therapy even you don't do the therapy you can do eyes movement everyday and it helps. Exercise, meditation and also eating healthy other tools help for hippocampus to recover.

Thankyou for this information. I didn't realise it causes shrinkage of the hippocampus...I have been feeling as though I am suffering from early dementia so I will try some of your ideas🌱🌟

@@selenajwallace294 Hippocampus is responsible for short memories if this is the case probably it is related! Give it a try in any case!! There is no harm just benefits!! :)

I am not healing at all ,always under stress ,phone ringing ,share custody only to get me destroy and the baby

@@lauraantic1384 I am sorry to heat that! You need to find ways to cope with the stress. They put us into a trauma that can't be imagined by people who didn't go through it. They want to destroy us, break us into pieces. Talk to a trauma therapist to find ways to manage it!! You can even think of hiring a third party for the contact about your kid and go no contact!

I believe that my Lord, Jesus Christ, led me to the answers because, let's face it, these people are evil.

Friend, i have a similar story. I'm 65 and I have recovered, it also took me 8 years but more intently over the last 3 and a half. Keep pushing forwards and do the work. I wish you strength and determination.

@@SharkE747 Anything divine purifies.

❤

Well done doesn't cover it friend. You are a warrior, courageous, intelligent, determined and you should be so, so proud. 8 years for me too. Now 65. With credit to Richard and others from me. Enjoy your freedom friend, yes it's incredibly difficult when the abuse has surrounded you from childhood, but hey you're making it. Here's to freedom! I totally agree, no medication for me either! It just covers everything with a black blanket so you don't feel, and feelings/emotions as you so rightly say are necessary to humans. Yep, it's all so obvious with hindsight. Be free, be you friend. 😀👌👏

This gives me hope. 2 years after divorce and I still find myself having anxiety attacks literally when nothing is wrong. It's like my body was just used to the constant fight and stress. I found a amazing man and the way he treats me is helping my healing! I know I'll get through thid

That's the hard part. The liars need to be exposed and held accountable at any cost. To not do so is to let the abuse you endured be transferred to the next persons who do not deserve it.

@@thecustodian1023 It's so hard when they lie... so much BS I confronted him about yelling at me. I had to wait till the next day because he was so angry about something so stupid.He is "concerned" because I've lost so much weight and yells at me while I'm having my dinner. He's done this enough times yelling about nothing and I said, No more! Then he denied yelling and was getting upset again. I taught children for 30 years and I honestly never had one like that. And I worked in inner city with many disadvantaged children and they all could learn.

Synchronicity :) Same for me.

Looking hard at our "shadow" and what it was that we needed by allowing them into our lives... and letting them stay when they hurt us over and over, well truly, that is the "gift" they give us. They force us to discover the depths of our own psyche, our own insecurities and past traumas. I only wish it wasn't in the most painful of ways. I choose to take good and learn as much as I can about ME from the horrific abuse I endured... and ultimately heal and be wiser for the experience. It does hurt, but it's important hurting that we grow tremendously from! No coincidences. - I believe it!!

Please don’t believe everything that has been said in this video because it may not pertain to you. Most of the experiences you had with that person were real. You will go in same if you think that it was all an illusion. It was simply an unhealthy relationship and you needed to get out. It’s plain and simple and we don’t have to pretend that no real feelings happened between you and your partner. Because of course they did! It’s really hard when the relationship starts with such passion and romance and fun times. And then it just slowly changes and you start to see the manipulation. I’ve given my husband so many chances not to ignore me and give me the silent treatment, but he just can’t help himself. It sucks!

Thanks for reminding me that the emptiness is better than reacting to him, although I think I still do react to my late ex when I see how much his (most likely) intentional death has done to our daughter. Well done for getting out after all that time❤

I'm at the other end. I hate doing that sort of stuff but for legal defense purposes, I have to. What bothers me right now is how the courts don't even look at my side (Even my lawyer knows something is fishy here now.) and just take the insane made-up on-the-spot lies he tells as the truth even when it is obvious it has nothing to do with anything.

@@thecustodian1023 Yes, I hear you. The stuff they do is so crazy that people think we're making it all up.

This is a beautifully supportive message for others who’ve gone through this and well done on your commitment and dedication to your healing.

How long did it take for you to feel healed? What was the most difficult part of your healing journey? What was most useful in your healing journey? What were some things you did prior to being healed that you're now able to easily not do?. For example, did you frequently try to call the narc, but now realize that you don't need to call at all?

Full healing was about 18 months divided into: first 6 months obsessing on understanding narcissism (videos) and then one year on understanding what got me into that awful situation in the first place ie: my codependency (videos and books). Plus once I made up my mind to escape, NO CONTACT was the single most important part of my recovery. Little story: I recently saw the narcissist at an event in Dublin and she saw me and quite honestly I could not, even if I wanted to, lower myself to walk the 10 yards to say hello. I would not wish a narcissist on my worst enemy and my genuine feeling of indifference was my reward for the work that I put in on myself. No therapist, no family, no friends. It was hard, no doubt about it, but EASILY the best thing I ever did in my life. And always remember that when you recover you will be the best version of yourself you ever knew. And also, you WILL recover. (In fact, you're recovering right now, it never stops). Take care and God bless x.

Feel the same. Been at this from both the 'helper', 'needing help', and the licensed therapist working with clients working to understand these dynamics. So freekin complex.

Me too mom then 27 years husband . Glad to know you are out there !

Left nine 15 mos ago after 29years. Its been a nightmare but i did get my daughter out as well and we are in counseling. My ex has a new supply and has ghosted us both sence he knows we see him under the mask now. I want to heal from it, just hard some days. I have been diagnosed with BPD and PTSD, my first narc was my Mom so at 54 im narc free for the 1st time!🎉

You can forgive your ex without telling them. But first you have to forgive yourself.

Forgiving her was good for me, I never said that to her, but seeing all this content after the narc abuse I experienced is freeing, but forgiving her is how I can forgive myself and move forward. I dated another narc and noticed that I saw her behavior as normal because I was so used to being abused by my ex. It's okay, though because it's her loss to lose someone as well intended as myself. I have a lot more prequisites now when it comes to considering a partner. The one that's absolutely necessary is honesty with everyone. Jeesh, I deserve so much better. I had to drop a narcissistic business partner also. 🙄😏🫤

discovering the other cop is always a hard pill to swallow.

Best of luck 🤞 I was once at your place of lack of boundaries lack of self care... But I have learnt how to do that so you will definitely.😊

Please don't shut yourself off to everyone. No man is an island, we all need someone. All people are flawed but not all people are narcissists. I'm not talking about looking for a romantic relationship, just someone you can talk to

Then guess what ? The narc won right? That’s what the devil wants , you isolated … you recognise it’s what your doing and identify the e reason why , that’s recovery … you will find someone out there you can trust that isn’t a narc soon , I swear it for you x

I wish I could erase his files from my mind, I know more about his life than I ever did my own. At least the nightmares stopped.

That’s very interesting that you knew more about him than yourself. I relate to this deeply as well because everything was always about him.

The nightmares of her returning are fewer but I still have them, its been 26 years. We had two kids together. She was successful on Parent Aliening our oldest daughter against me.

I love your lion analogy. It's so true. They spin their webs and commit their crimes because they are scared of you. They intimidate by fear to control you. The trust and blind love we give them, keeps us brain washed. Once the spell is broken, we think for ourselves and act in our best interests. To who ever is reading this, know the narcassist will you any contact with you to manipulate you. They are not to be trusted. The only way, the ONLY way to break free from the grooming and mind control is to completely go no contact. Get off social media. Change your number. If you move, use a po box, try to hide your where abouts. They will keep trying to come at you, but they will eventually loose interest. Some of them are dangerous, so have a plan for your safety.

Your description is spot on and so well articulated. It's an incredibly empowering point of view. Thank you! I'm going to reread it a few times now...😊

@@asuwish7640 Aw shucks. Thank you. I really hope I can stay strong but either way I could def say this is what I believe to be true. We got hooked by some really convoluted twilight zone shit. And it’s just a tricky process to find some way to unhook ourselves from it and heal. Then become whole and develop skills. I say that in a few paragraphs but I have narc parents also and have been at it for about 10 years. Maybe more like the long term Shawshank plan. Just kept digging my secret tunnel until there was no more dirt or rocks blocking my escape. I don’t think I’m immune or impervious totally to all things but I def think that I am just now better able to handle whatever life (or a psycho) tries to throw at me.

PS: NONE of it was real. The person you fell in love with doesn't even exist. I say this with love, deep genuine love, you need to accept this single truth in order to look up and save yourself.

​@@AndrewFosterSheff69100% true

totally agree Andrew.

Same... I had never experienced something as cruel as that. We were not ready for it. We didn't know how to react to the abuse. Or rather, how to respond.

Everything mentioned here is so unbelievably true. It takes a lot of courage and a lot of work to leave such a horrific relationship behind. We have a responsibility to ourselves, we were born in this world alone to overcome a Narc and move on to a brighter more humane future.... Going no contact with my father is one is the best decision I've made so far and though sometimes as a human I get flashes of second thinking, it is a healthier stance for me and my own family. Thank you Richard, let us all break away from pain people, Life is amazing...