My mom used to say "don't ever continue to make a mistake just because you spent so much time making it". That really stuck with me, and actually helped me end a relationship I stayed in way too long. The truth is, I didn't want to leave because I had just "invested" so much into the relationship, I didn't want to let go. But a bad relationship is a bad relationship, and you have to have the courage to say this is bad for me, and walk away! No matter how much time or energy you have invested into it.
TO ADD : This also applies to those "I-don't-know-if-we-are-in-an-official-relationship-but-we-act-like-we-are", wishy-washy back and forth pseudo kind-of-but-not-really relationships, too. Those are a waste of your precious time and precious life.
My friend was in a unhealthy relationship a few months ago with her first boyfriend ever. He had repeatedly lied, and had abused her trust, yet she still went back to him. One night, I was sitting on her porch, and I opened up my laptop and showed her your videos. She had related to your videos in such a profound way, that she broke up with her boyfriend that night. Her love for Jesus has never been as big as it is now, and I wanted to thank you because through God, you have touched my dear friends life. I am so thankful.
This is beautiful and humbling to hear - thank you for sharing with me. It is a gift to be used by God to affect lives like your friend's and I am so grateful to be connected to you! Love to you, Grace!!
I think some of this works the other direction too. If you can't love the guy for who he is but instead wish you could change lots of things about him, then you have settled. He needs someone who will cherish him too, not someone who wants to remake him. This was a signal in a relationship I was in with a great guy, but I kept wishing he was something else other than what he was. It wasn't fair to him or myself to continue a relationship I knew had no future.
It's true what you say that every woman knows deeply in her heart if her relationship is good for her or not. But women tend to ignore that feeling because they think the connections between them and their partners are too strong to let them go. That's called lying to yourself and condemning yourself to the life with a wrong person.
they need to share these points in health class because the psychological part of a healthy relationship and how to choose to start/or leave a relationship is rarely talked about
Thanks so much! I just got out of a relationship about 6 months ago where the guy started ignoring me and I felt very insignificant and unwanted. And sometimes I still miss him because he was such a great guy. But videos like this just remind me that I'm better off on my own and I don't need him anymore so thank you!
I am a married 20-something, and I can say from experience the dawn does come. I agree 100% with you, Emily. It gets better. It's so much better to be joined to a man that serves God and supports your walk. In the hard times in life, and they will come, that love and support from a man of faith is priceless. For the girls and women who are in these type of relationships, God has something else for you, that's better for you. Don't settle for something that isn't right for you. Pray for the best for the other guy, that they find what God wants for them. But don't force your will, submit to God's will, It's so much better I promise.
Watching this a couple of weeks after breaking up with a good man (which maybe makes it harder). Thank you, it's so hard to be assured of my decision but I know in my heart that I made the right decision and it helps to be reminded of that truth ❤️
I totally needed to hear this. I've been in a 6 year relationship but deep down I know he isn't "the one" because he isn't a believer. Yet, I can't find it in me to let him go because he is a true gentleman and treats me so well and I love him with all my heart. It's so hard to take that leap of faith, but your pep talk surely helped!!!!
I’ve never had a boyfriend and I starting seeing this guy around this time last year and I was using all of my resources every step of the way. Prayer discernment my mentors, and came to the conclusion to end it after just 3 dates. Family members and friends were getting all excited for me that I finally had someone. When I ended it people were...bummed for me but understood my reasoning. But most notable of all, people told me that I was brave for walking away on discernment alone. It’s not easy to do but it can be empowering
It is so undeniably crazy how God works. Throughout the past week, I have been realizing that the relationship I have been in for the past two years is not healthy for me. I kept denying breaking it off because of the length of our time together, yet you touched on that exactly. I am settling! Thank you for being in tune with the Holy Spirit and helping young girls like me understand the importance of finding a strong Christian man who loves God way more than he loves us. I am so happy that I have found your channel, Emily. God bless!!
I broke up with my 3 year boyfriend a week ago today, and I knew I had to break it off for months. This gives me such validation and excitement for the endless joy that the Lord is going to provide as I move closer to him knowing I made the right decision. Your videos have impacted my life so much. Don't ever stop encouraging.❤️
I don't know why, this video just made me cry. Even though I have a serious 2 year long relationship, and I love him, and we're happy, I'm not these days. I feel it's giving me more pain than happiness. I hope I'm wrong.
Just got out of one of those and I felt like a free bird the day after!! Sad days come from time to time but the more I enjoy my life without it the more I realize that I made the best choice I could have :)
I've never had a boyfriend or been on a date! I still like watching these sort of topics! It just helps reaffirm what I'm looking for and why I am keeping my promise.
If you feel uncomfortable because Emily was talking directly at you & your situation,...but you're making excuses for why you can't leave **this is your wake up call**! When you know in your heart that it's not right you can leave! The Lord is with you! There are resources and people who can support you in leaving a toxic or unhealthy relationship (romantic or otherwise) Speaking from experience, you do not want to re-watch this video three years later and wish you left earlier. You don't want to ignore this wake up call, and stay in a situation that will get worse! Don't stay where you are because leaving seems to scary. As Emily said, be brave!
I was going through this exact situation earlier this year. There is nothing wrong with ending a relationship because you want to live a life of virtue. In fact, doing so is one of the most noble, loving, and brave things you can do. You can do it! :)
Emily Wilson update, idk if you're going to read this, but I broke up with him! It was hard and I'm still pretty upset but I think it'll be worth it in the end 💕
You have no idea just how much I relate and needed your words. I'm in an abusive relationship, feel stuck and horrible about life. I'm trying to get out, making an "escape plan" , and praying to God He helps me get out. You're doing something really important here. Much love sister 💗
Thank you for adding that this applies to those we-are-but-aren't relationships... I have been stuck in the inbetween relationship for a year. This was definitely a wake up call. The Holy Spirit is definitely alive and well! Thank you for making this video :)
Just so you know, I have watched this video 3 times! I've been in a relationship that has been making unhappy for quite a while now. It's taken a lot of courage but we finally broke it off and every time I saw this video since it's been posted, it has been helping me build up the courage to take that step. Every time I see the part where you say that holding on is wasting time, it really hits home with me. I was in this relationship for 2 1/2 years and even at the end I still felt like it was going no where and I was unhappy. Bravery and courage can be very hard to cultivate, and Im still struggling with wanting to go back into the relationship, but I know I'll eventually be so much happier! I just need that reminder. Thank you for helping realize that and know I'm not the only one!
Hey Emily you are amazing! You have helped me more than you know over the past few months. I was in an unhealthy relationship with a guy who lead me to God and he broke up with me after over 2 years. I couldn't understand why. Throughout the relationship when he was telling me what i could and couldn't do and lots of other things to try and control me and change me into what he wanted i got so confused. As a new christian starting to learn how to be a woman of God, i thought his rules were to help me be just that. Crazy i know but it was my first relationship and i was so excited to finally be in love with not only a boy but with God. About a year in though my soul knew something was wrong. I remember the exact feeling i had but i just ignored it, suppressed my unhappiness and started to loose confidence and the love i once had for myself. After finding your videos everything has become clear and i am beginning to love life again and grow in my relationship with God. You and the people God has blessed me with in the process are wonderful. I hope this helps someone out there who is confused and scared like i was. God is always with you and his love never fails ❤
Thanks for sharing your heart here. I hope you have found freedom and joy on the path out of this relationship. Thanks for watching and for being my sister in Christ!
Thank you so much Emily! I was just in a relationship with somebody who I was not happy with and he became a burden to me. I thought that I couldn't break it off with him because I didn't want to hurt him and I was with him for a while. Because of your video, I had the guts to go towards happiness and break it off. I've realized that I'm a lot happier being single and I'm going to keep it this way for a while until I'm ready. Thank you and love the video!
Me and my boyfriend are in a very healthy relationship and I am excited already to marry him in the next few years :) we already talked about it and do feel the same :)
This is GOLD. I totally relate, you turn off the lights at night and get into bed, and that moment you look into you heart, there is the truth!!!! I ended a hard relationship because of one of you messages a couple months ago, so praise Jesus!!! :) Pray for girls that are looking for real love and I'm praying for you :)
Absolutely! That truth is right there when you quiet your heart! I am proud of you for moving on from that relationship and hope you are finding peace and joy :)
So, so good! I went through this exact same dating stage and thought "what if he changes" but God just kept pushing on my heart to get out of it. Glad He did.
You help me to remember why I am waiting for someone to pursue me authentically. Thank you for your videos! You have instilled so much confidence in me while being patient!!
I always struggle with investing my emotions in someone because even when I connect with godly men I wait a long time before I decide if I have true feelings for them because I am fearful that I am going to be giving up my true love that god created for me. This leaves me with feelings of confusion and I feel like I am wasting my time, but I don't know how to break the cycle. Thanks for all your videos Emily, your channel is such a blessing because being 16 and a Christian is hard! Xoxo :)
You are such an amazing roll model, I love what you stand for and how encouraging you are to women all over to stand up for themselves and do what is right. We are brave and so are you! Keep up the amazing work sister :)
my best friend is in a relationship and they've been together for about a year and a half. sometime last year they both lost their virginity to one another. i remember when she told me i was shocked, but also not too surprised. i thought she was saving herself for marriage and i thought they'd both wait for each other. to this day, they still fool around and do things that i'm almost ashamed to say she's my friend because we both would try to keep each other on track and now she's falling down into a place where i don't think she'll get out. now--they've almost broken up a few times but they never actually did. while listening to you, i can to the realization that she may be settling. these two love each other so much and they care about one another like no one i've seen before and it would hurt me to see her hurt and to see her without her s/o because they're basically attached at the hip. i'm almost afraid to show her this video for sake of her getting mad at me or something worse. i don't want to lose her. please help
Thank u Emily!!! I feel empowered now. I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship & this just made me feel like I did the right thing. Thank u sooo much for ur wonderful videos & talks Emily. God bless u!!!!
What if I feel like I am the one that is not good enough or bringing my partner further from God? How should I go about this? Should I end the relationship even though I truly love the guy and want to be a better partner? What's your advice? Thanks xx
Emily, thank you. You spoke to my soul and made me realize that I AM brave. I can end this relationship and isn't bringing me true peace and joy. Thank you Jesus for Emily and the blessing she is to me and so many others.
thank you so much for this video! I was seeing someone, but i always had the feeling something wasnt right. that he wasnt really interested in a relationship. But I tried to overlook it, because i liked him and he was the first man i ever really liked. but then i saw your video and decided to ask him, if he wants to be in a relationship with me. he said no. i was so devastated. but i told him after that, that i dont want to see him anymore. and now i am so much happier. and you know what? now looking back i can see how many signs god sent me while i was seeing this guy. god clearly showed me that he wasnt the right one.
Your advice is always spot on Emily! I love watching you speak because you radiate an enormous amount of peace and happiness. Qualities that stem from having a relationship with God. I'm thankful the Lord guided your heart to care about issues women face and dedicate your life to helping your sisters out. ❤️🙌🏼
Emily I'm a guy and I stumbled on this video at the perfect time! You spoke on exactly what I am currently experiencing. I fall into the "wishy-washy back and forth pseudo kind-of-but-not-really relationship" category. Its so tough to know this isn't what I need but not want to break things off. Just to let you know this video made me send that uncomfortable, but necessary text. Thanks girl!
What if he's an amazing guy, honestly treats you so well, but for some reason it still feels as though you're settling? I'm not sure if that makes sense but it almost doesn't leave you content and happy with it even though he's amazing.
LiveLove4Ever yes it does make sense and I know exactly what you're talking about. I'd say despite your perceptions of him being an amazing guy, as a female you should let your woman's intuition guide you. Often God uses our intuition as an indicator that "he's not the one". So trust that unsettling nudge on the inside
Thanks so much for making these videos for young women Emily! I am in my early thirties and I have the opposite problem, refusing to settle. I just ended a relationship with a great christian guy who treated me wonderful but for some reason I didnt have peace. I am praying that was the Holy Spirit redirecting and that I did the right thing, and not just my own expectations or fears getting in the way. I have heard so much talk lately that God doesnt "pick out" potential partners for you. I have always believed that God does intercede if you seek him in it. Thoughts??
Emily you give the best advice! I've seen your videos and even if some of those videos apply to me. But I know this video will help me in the future . Thank you so much for making these type of videos!
Yes! Thank you Morgan! My hope for any girl who this may not apply to right now is that later on (whether that's 3 months or 5 years from now) if she recognizes any of these things in her life she can remember what I said and have the strength and courage to move on quickly!
In a relationship you CANNOT expect someone to change... you either need to accept them just as they are or break up with them because you shouldn't want to change your boyfriend/spouse anyways.
I just wanted to say thank you for making these videos! I am currently going through a rough patch in my life and feel as though I am growing farther away from God. Seeing you talk so freely about everything gives me hope that I can find my center in God and know that he will always be on my side! I hope that someday I can get into a routine to not only worship on Sundays, but try to everyday! I want to be closer with God and you give me faith that I definitely can! Thank you!
This, my dear, is what your generation has been needing for a long time. I’m 66, and I’ve seen this great need for a quit awhile. Thank you for your honesty, and bravery. God bless you and keep you in his hand.❤️❤️❤️
Hi Emily! I love this video. I was in a relationship with a guy for over three years. I knew about a year in that I wasn't happy with him anymore. I finally found the courage to end our relationship after I realized that I could "do life" without him. Letting go is hard, but after we broke up, I honestly am able to see my self worth crystal clear.
Well said my love 💕 I want to say thank you so much from the bottom of my heart Emily. Thank you for emailing me inspirational options that I could choose from in my steps with Christ, thank you for your wisdom and thank you for who you are! I stepped out of my shell and opened up to making Catholic friends and going on a retreat with my local parish. I'm doing things I never thought I would do because I thought it was beneath me or that I was unworthy of doing. I humbled myself and am forever grateful.
This is the TRUTH. So powerful. How I could have used this advice when I was dating! Thank you for speaking so courageously to young women who need to hear this
🙌Emily this is my second time watching this video and I have been wrestling for months..not wanting to follow where God is leading me!! .... How is it that so often we chose settle for less then Gods beautiful plain.. Thank you so much for sharing!!!!!❤ We are brave!!❤
I'm here so early! I have my notifications on for you thank you Emily for helping me through a lot. Your videos are so relatable and helps me lots :) .
Amen! This applies to both sexes. You have made great points and I agree with you my sister. The main thing that we need to do is stop getting intertwined with others based on lust and without God. God wants his children to enjoy romance but undefiled. Praise God for your video. The intention is warming and kind. Bless your family.
Thank you Emily, from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes I feel alone in my way of living, in my relationship with God. But you push me to believe even more! I like your way to wear makeup: simple, discreet and at the same time that makes you radiate. It is difficult to do make up without doing too much .. Could you tell us your "makeup routine"? I pray for you, God is great
I wish I knew about your RU-vid account when I was in my first relationship. I knew deep down I was settling and I felt all those things you've mentioned, especially the one about not bringing myself closer to my faith but further away from it. But it has already ended and I now know what I want in my future relationship (realistic standards of course) (; thanks Emily
Hi Emily! I love your channel, have learn so much. You talk about chastity which is good. Can you please also make a video on how a sexually abused christian girl can overcome the feeling. our society is full of such people who take advantage of women and i want to know how to respond to such actions and recover a soul. Thanks.
How do i know for sure that my thoughts him may not being the right guy is true vor not if he IS a great guy? I am a doubtful Person in General (towards literally everything) so how should i know...
Emily, this is awesome! Thank you so much for taking the time our of your day and making these videos for us. You are incredible. Would love to see a video of signs you are ready for a relationship xo
This is such a great video, doesn't matter what you believe (or not) or where you're from, as people we all have a point in life we have a relationship with someone. Romanticly but i guess this also applies to friendships!
Thank you for this video Emily! I'm so glad I got the chance to meet you in NY this past weekend! You are beautiful and inspiring 🙂 Love from Toronto 💕 Alexandra
My boyfriend is wonderful in paper and deep in me I feel like something is wrong. But I can't pin point what! The only thing I could say I'm breaking up with him is because we don't have enough communication and emotional connection. BUT that's something we can work on.. right? Ugh
Sometimes everybody tells you there's nothing wrong, that he is a good guy, that you must be patient because he technically has done nothing wrong, the fact that he only want to see you once a month is because he is busy... but you keep feeling that you are settling and cry to sleep and don't feel cherished and no matter how much you pray you still don't get that deep peace and joy but since everybody tells you there's nothing wrong, you begin thinking you may be crazy and that there's nothing to worry about. Does that make sense?
Makes sense. There IS something to worry about - because the right relationship doesn't make you feel that way, no matter if it "looks" like there's nothing wrong to everyone else. If this is happening now, it is time to let go.
God bless you, Emily! I have a question. My dear friend and roommate has been in a relationship for about 4 years now. They are practicing Catholics who uphold Chastity for one another. It's very beautiful. She's 26 he is 27 so they are at a good age to pursue their vocation of marriage. HOWEVER, my roommate's heart has been burdened for some years know because she feels called to marry this man, but he is unsure about his vocation. Ultimately this uncertainty has led her to really question her worth, her relationship with God, and her future. It seems to me that she is really invested and despite any advice my roommates and I give her, she never feels "called" to break it off. I've lived with her for a little over a year now and this has been a constant conversation. Im afraid I am not growing in bitterness toward this man for dragging her along like this. Does this make sense? I don't know how to help her or empower her. We've suggested spiritual direction but that hasn't helped either. What would your advice be? You can be completely real and candid. I really value your thoughts. Keeping you in my prayers!
Emily you're such a gift to so many around you! I can see the Holy Spirit working within you. Thanks for these words, they really give me confidence in myself when it comes to ending relationships.
Emily, this is a very helpful message for a lot of women. I wish I had seen something like this a few years ago when I was in a relationship that wasn't good for me and I couldn't let go, because I was constantly thinking that he would change. Although it was hard, it was totally worth it - I've never regretted this decision and honestly I think it was the best thing I've ever done in my "relatioship life". The only problem I still struggle with is trust - I find it really difficult to trust a man that I've just met or I'm talking to for a long time - do you have any tips? Thank you for everything! :)
Is there any way to contact you and dicuss your finding of faith and relationships? I just found your channel and I find it really inspiring - it would be super helpful to be able to chat and hear advice from your end
Hi Emely, Just want to ask that my boyfriend has almost all the things that you said about being a good man but he doesnt have enough spiritual life. Im always the one pushing him to go to church and he goes whenever I go but if not then he dont. we dont live together. but he treats me like a princess like im his world. what do u think about it. is he good for me?
