Silence Is Not Golden - Growing Up with Selective Mutism

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For a large part of his life, the majority of people who have come into contact with Nigel have never heard him speak. He suffers from Selective Mutism, a rare anxiety disorder which severely affects his ability to speak under certain circumstances. Based on the real-life story of Nigel Ng, a young Singaporean, Silence Is Not Golden sheds light on his extraordinary journey, giving the audience an insight into his inner world.
A film made by Wong Pei Si (@herbimetal) about Nigel Ng Qin Wei (@nigelthebobosmiley1994)
Winner of the Together Against Stigma Video Competition 2019
Read Nigel’s book: www.silenceisnotgolden.me
Learn about Selective Mutism and Nigel’s journey: / silenceisnotgoldenbynigel
DoorSING Singapore Selective Mutism support group (request to join): / 331809367552749
If you'd like to support the Selective Mutism community, consider making a donation here: silenceisnotgolden.me/donation/
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Опубликовано:

11 мар 2021

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Комментарии : 53

@ribbitfyi 3 года назад

Thank you so much for watching our videos! If you like our content and hope to see more, please subscribe!! It would help us alot 😊

@sunnieshi6571 2 года назад

is he the same person as the youtuber mrnigelng?

@Fay_639 Год назад

I was always able to speak to immediate family and close long time friends which was like 2, but with everyone else my brain would just shut off, and would just stare at them with a blank expression. I was called rude by everyone, but there was one teacher which I could whisper into her ear. The first time I ever spoke at school was by force in 2nd grade when the teacher was reading a book to the class and everyone was seated on the carpet. When she was finished she asked me if I enjoyed the book. When I failed to respond, I was expected to stand up in front of the whole class next to her to say "yes" which as we all know is the most effective and reasonable way to help exacerbate the problem. Time would come to a screeching halt and I basically broke down crying in embarrassment before I made a barely audible "yes" and everyone cheered me on and clapped hands only to make it worse. I just sat with my head down on the desk for the rest of the day

@ahomemakersjourney08 11 месяцев назад

Same I know exactly what you mean, I grew up with this. Not as bad as when I was a child but still there in some situations

@Mayysxm 4 месяца назад

omg it hurt the most when people thought i was rude. they all thought i was purposley blanking them and i remember one day some girl asked me "why cant you just speak?" This phrase will stick with me for life.

@montserratlopez7625 2 года назад

Hi I am 16 years old. I had selective mutism from 6 years to 11 years old. My classmates didn’t even know what my voice sound. I think my case in particular is one of the worst, I really suffer a lot on my one. My parents didn’t really noticed it, because I used to talk in my House. I am from Mexico so no one really care here. I wish It would had been different

@davidstone9981 2 года назад

What helped you speak again? I'm a special-ed teacher and will be working soon with a child of 11 who has SM. What can I do to help, and what should I avoid?

@Bienpai Год назад

@@davidstone9981 As a teenager that have sm too, I cannot guarantee that this can help. Maybe you can help him/her by finding what he/she wants like for example his/her favorite activity to do is to play a badminton then you should join him/her but don't ask directly what he/she wants ofc. I think you can also identify if he/she likes something like ice cream or something by movements like he/she always looking on that object or by telling to you by pointing on that object. Hope it really helps! 💚💚

@MaxoRoblox Год назад

@@davidstone9981 well first don’t force them to talk and treat them like how you would treat any other kid there, second don’t make direct eye contact with them while talking to them, third if they manage to talk then don’t praise them or anything just act calm and act like you would if a normal kid talked. For the things that will help them speak again, don’t expect them to speak straight away, be very patient about it. Try to get them in a room away from other kids to start off with and give them a word for them to say and after walk out the room but say to open the door when they are done and keep repeating this every day until they are comfortable with something like having the door slightly open or maybe give them a sentence instead of a single word and just keep making small steps until they are comfortable. And by the way I have sm so I do know what I’m talking about.

@Lisa-MarieG Год назад

@@davidstone9981please don’t encourage her to talk. She can and she will if and when she feels safe enough to. I’m 47 & mine started at age 3 when I witnessed & was part of a suicide. It’s a lot safer inside and nobody can judge me for the dumb things I say if I say nothing. If she speaks don’t make a fuss that’s the worst! Follow her lead like if she speaks and is calm I’d be calm if she’s crying happy tears quietly congratulate her and NEVER EVER embarrass her! I will pray for her & you that she is graced with comfort & health & you are graced with the perfect knowledge you will need to best assist her. ❤❤

@TheHeadlessMario Год назад

wish i didnt grow up with selective mutism :( now i am scared to talk to every stranger and my uncle + grandpa + cousins 😢

@Error-kf6sv 2 года назад

II was the same, I'm so happy that he wrote a book about SM, it's such an inspiration to me, to continue working on my comic which is about this disorder

@Bienpai Год назад

It's everyone's inspiration like me too and also I'm happy that I'm not the only one who have this illness

@user-df1hq9hs2f 8 месяцев назад

@@Bienpaisame 😢 I’ve had it since yr 2 and I’m in yr 9 now and find it so hard still and it’s got worse and worse and I’m getting fed up with it

@pratishthabajracharya7 Год назад

Mine started at the age of 5. My 2nd grade teacher beat me up and forcefully made me speak. Now I'm 16. I speak at school and to strangers but not with my relatives.

@ricardogoncalves1607 Год назад

I felt this. I just realized today that I almost certainly suffer from this. I'm 36 years old. It's so hard

@el_equidistante Год назад

how is it going? have you been able to make some progress?

@user-mn2bq1ry4s 28 дней назад

I am 16 years old now. I have had selective mutism since I was 4 years old. Thank you for making this video. I am Japanese, but this is a disease that is completely unknown even in this country. My teacher forces me to speak, makes me laugh in front of everyone, and my classmates always exclude me. School is painful, but my physics teacher is the only person I can talk to outside of my family. That is my hope. Currently, I am studying so that I can leave my hometown and go to a new place. I don't know if I will be happy, but I think I have to get out of here anyway. Not being able to speak is very difficult in life. However, I want to overcome selective mutism in order to make my life better and live as myself.

@Thot_Patrol_USA Год назад

In 2nd grade, one day, my brain came up with the fantastic idea of not talking anymore for legitimately no reason. I hardly spoke in school again until the end of 6th grade when I finally decided to talk more. I understand having a quiet student is a bit challenging for an elementary teacher, but honestly, they would sometimes give me stress about it, and my dad would get weekly emails about me not talking (which only made me more scared to talk). You can’t just pressure a student into speaking because it’s only going to make it worse. Now, thankfully I do talk a lot more than I used to in school, but I just want to add something. One of my sisters said not to be quiet in high school because high schoolers will notice that on the spot and will not shut up about it, as if they will force you to talk. I am in high school right now, and I notice kids barely saying a word, and nobody cares. Maybe in certain classes they might bother you into talking, but for the ones I have, not really.

@MKiurinuRigold 2 года назад

One has to overcome it on its own I never talked in my primary school and in my secondary 1 as well as 2 years most of time time But I told myself I need to speak out From secondary two onwards I change the way I handle anxiety Now I can be totally myself 😊

@samijgolder1993 9 месяцев назад

I was diagnosed with selective mutism at 13 years old. I would always get in trouble for not speaking.

@caricatuba Год назад

OMG! that's history of my life.

@elfredwee6131 2 года назад

Amazing artwork and animation. The sound effect has also been done very well to capture the overall emotion. "Show, not tell" has been the way this clip been designed. I would like to buy the book. Apparently, it's been sold out. Anyone knows how to get it?

@pinxinchew 2 года назад

your videos are so impactful! keep up the good job & keep sharing

@shxwtydntcry 3 года назад

Very good video 🌌 thank you for spreading awareness on Selective Mutism . I also make videos on mental health and Selective Mutism 💕

@peisiwong8221 3 года назад

Thank you! Wonderful to meet you. I'm the director of this film.

@edifiedermine9247 Год назад

I used to talk at school, but now I don’t. I’ve always struggled with anxiety but I only stopped talking in public recently. Sometimes I can manage a few words but it comes out unclear because when I do try and talk I have a really bad stutter. I am very lucky to have a very understanding family and school, my teachers have been trying to help me find other ways to express myself, I have mostly been communicating through typing on my iPad, and my new friends have been very patient with me. When we have oral presentations my teachers let me use text to speech or I just send the presentations to them and I don’t have to stand in front of the class. I’ve also been working with a psychologist and speech pathologist. Both of them are very friendly. Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m getting anywhere but I’m just assuming that my progress is slow, but it’s still progress. What I do know is that this video accurately showcases what it feels like to have selective mutism. Unfortunately this is the reality for many people every single day. I know that not everyone is as lucky as I am, so to those who are still looking for someone to understand here’s what I have to say: I am so sorry you have to feel this way every day, and if you try taking little steps at a time, it can get better. It’s okay to use other means of communication such as writing or typing. What I do personally is I try and say one thing to a friend every school day. Even if it’s just 1 or 2 words, it’s still something. Every word is an accomplishment. This might not be the way for everyone to get through this and that’s okay. I’m sure you’ll find your own way of progressing, stay strong, and here’s a croissant: 🥐

@wfdy8333 Год назад

😢😢😢😢 relate, u r not alone

@nondescriptbeing5944 2 месяца назад

I like how it’s an adult not a child

@network8217 6 месяцев назад

i have it. its so damn difficult. i dont have any friends, i dont talk to people, i dont socialize or anything. ive had it since i was 4.

@gortizz2567 5 месяцев назад

i have it too i was kind of forced to talk so i can talk very little the bare minimum no conversations or any of that I only do my usually script for work bc i have to otherwise no money so i force myself to talk i do online school and i’m so lonely i have no one to go to and i have no friends in years i don’t go out anywhere and I think i’ve had it since a very young age too it’s the worst i wish i could just speak normally like everyone else and I cant even get help on this my parents just tell me to stop being “shy” and to be like everyone else i cant get help for any of this how old r u we can b friends >.< if u want to ofc :)

@network8217 5 месяцев назад

@@gortizz2567 im 12, hbu? :) sure! we can be friends but i cant add you on any social platforms, sorry. but we can talk on here whenever you want :D

@cake4964 2 года назад

The His gonna blow up is a couple of years

@AndreaPerez-fs6ys 2 года назад

I'm may have it but not sure....because when I was little In 4th grade I was shy but I could still speak in front of others a little bit but in 5th throw 12th grade I've avoided speaking to teachers,classmates, friends and family and isolated myself and didn't communicate with others. and I became lonely, depressed,and have lots of anxiety.😞 Can anyone help me improve🙏🙏

@JPL454 Год назад

I think the best option is therapy. I have autism and selective mutism and suffer from loneliness and depression too, if we want we can talk

@edifiedermine9247 Год назад

What helps me the most is baby steps, maybe try talking to just 1 person at a time, and make sure it’s someone you can trust. It’s okay if you don’t talk the first time, you can type or write what you’d like to say. And just maybe when you feel comfortable enough, you might be able to say something small. Every word is an accomplishment. It’s okay if the progress is slow, you can do this!

@6thmemberleaderoftheblogge659 Год назад

Would low speaking be an example of selective mutism

@Sidwilson_number1fan Год назад

I have selective mutism and sometimes when I try to talk to someone I start low speaking so I think it does count as selective mutism

@somber087 2 месяца назад

Yes, it shows youre trying.

@psagar2855 Год назад

Please suggest what strategies can be used for children with Selective Mutism.

@edifiedermine9247 Год назад

There are a lot of strategies you can use, the one that’s working the most for me is baby steps. Every word outside of home is an accomplishment. Don’t try and pressure the child into speaking because that might make it worse. I have many symptoms of selective mutism and what helps me the most is when I’m talking to someone new just 1 on 1. I usually don’t talk the first time, i usually type out what i want to say. But when I do feel safe and comfortable enough I might be able to manage a few words, just as long as people are patient with me. It can take a while, but any progress is still progress. I hope this helps

@Lucy-gj7gk 3 месяца назад

what worked best with me is just constantly being included and spoken to, the less pressure to talk, the more comfortable we become. it’s a slow process but it works. a person with selective mutism REALLY wants to talk, even if it doesn’t seem that way due to the body language portrayed.