This is an American teenager’s problem. For those of us who are first generation immigrants our parents don’t play that. I’m Nigerian and it is not up for discussion lol
blaq2handle I’m not even first generation my kids will be 😂 I’m haitian but I definitely agree with you American teenager’s problem 🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️
Lol sis I’m married and have a kid and still won’t be comfortable brining my husband to my parents house 😂😂😂, African parents don’t understand Public display of affection.
I wouldn't even try this with my parents😂😂 If you wanna do adult stuff...be an adult and get your own place. At least that's what my parents would tell me.
Y'all have abusive parents and don't even realise it. If your kids are grown treat them like adults. Don't continue being overbearing into their adult years. Even the way some parents speak to their kids is ugly and it's seen as normal.
@@Prince_the_One Not at all....my parents are very kind and loving towards me. There are just some lines we don't cross in my culture😁 I think you're mistaking standards for abuse.
It’s not ABUSE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. If your parents say they don’t want that going on in their home you must follow that. Like where is the abuse?? They pay the bills.... it’s abusive for you to think you can disrespect their home tf!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You grown ... go to your house!!Stop expecting people to accommodate your grown butt. A lot of y’all grown people want assistance from parents but don’t want to respect them. That is what you call abusive and ungrateful! I know people have hard times and you may need help from your parents. I respect those that handle their business, work hard to get their own independence and respect their parents while residing with them. Most should be glad because a lot of parents kick their kids out at 18. So get over yourself with this abusive mess. 🙄 lol
@@demetriussmalls6885 Exactly. At 19, people should be focused on college. Because, eventually, you will need a career and have to get a real job. Then, you will have a paycheck that will afford you a home where you can have all the sex you want. But, at 19, focus on education so you can get the career you want rather than having to settle for lower paying jobs.
@Carisa Peart but like, what if her parents wanted to visit their daughter at their daughters house, is the daughter going to say "you need to respect me and not sleep in the same room as eachother?" lol like I feel, if you're an adult and you're in a relationship doesn't matter who's house you're at, you should be allowed to sleep in the same room. Now I'm not saying they need to have loud ass sex lol
I'm African, and my fiance is going to Africa with me to meet my parents, he'll be asking them for my hand in marriage, and we will be doing the traditional marriage ceremony. Although he's not African, African parents do not make any exception for no one lol so I had to teach him my culture. He's the only guy I'll be taking to meet my parents. We'll definitely not sleeping in the same room while under the same roof as my parents. Every African child knows that the only man you take home is the man that wants to marry you.
I'm African, and my fiance is going to Africa with me to meet my parents, he'll be asking them for my hand in marriage, and we will be doing the traditional marriage ceremony. Although he's not African, African parents do not make any exception for no one lol so I had to teach him my culture. He's the only guy I'll be taking to meet my parents. We'll definitely not sleeping in the same room while under the same roof as my parents. Every African child knows that the only man you take home is the man that wants to marry you.
Because people go to college and it's much smarter to stay home, pay the electric bill/buy groceries and save then to go out, get a full time job and go to school. Why struggle when you dont have to? Just dont bring the boyfriend into your room.
I was 20 when I met my husband and for new years I wanted him to stay and my grandma said yes but don't get any ideas he'll sleep in your bed and you will be in mine. I didn't mind at all cause if I'm in her house (whether is visiting or living in it I should rspect) I should follow her rules.
Paris Roam I know that , all I’m saying if that you assume to be grown then she should not depend on any one else . “Babies” are to take care of / grown people find jobs pay electrical bills , get an apartment and try to get their life together .
Right! I'm African, and my fiance is going to Africa with me to meet my parents, he'll be asking them for my hand in marriage, and we will be doing the traditional marriage ceremony. Although he's not African, African parents do not make any exception for no one lol so I had to teach him my culture. He's the only guy I'll be taking to meet my parents. We'll definitely not sleeping in the same room while under the same roof as my parents. Every African child knows that the only man you take home is the man that wants to marry you.
I’m 23 and my boyfriends 24, he came along on a family trip and damn right he slept in another room. And that’s okay. My parents aren’t having that until we’re married. I understand my parents have their view on things & in their presence that should be respected.
If they don't want you to have sex why don't they just say that so you can still sleep together. Pretty silly for grown ups to sleep separately, especially if they're married.
On a family trip?? Y'all can pay for your own room to stay in together. I can understand if its in their house. Anywhere else, there are no limits for me.
My boyfriend's parents (they're white) have no problem with me sleeping in my boyfriend's room when I go visit. We're both in college in a different state but visit them a few times a year. The sole idea made me so uncomfortable and since ya girl is latina I was like nah man, this too white for me, I'm sleeping in the guest room. And I DID because even though his parents approved, that is their house and my Colombian mom raised me to respect my/others households. I'll sleep with him at his parents house when we married
I wonder if it was a son if the mom would feel the same way a lot of times I see parents saying their daughter won't being doing this or that but when it comes to their sons... oh, it's no holds barred.
Nahhh. My brother tried something like this just last week. Not sleep over but he brought his girl over and was headed to his room. My mom WAS NOT HAVING IT! You can visit *and stay in visible areas*. No bedroom visits. My mama directed them all the way to the porch. She said if y'all wanna watch tv there's one in the living one. Y'all don't need to watch the one in his room 😂
My parents would trip if me or my sisters had a boy over after sunset watching tv in the den. My brothers were in middle school with girlfriends laying bed with them with the bedroom door closed. By high school, their girlfriend spent the night with them in their room. Double standard like a mf.
Depends on the parent(s). If the parent is dead set on not having guests in the room, they usually are scrict on the son just as much as the daughter. I know my mom did not play that at all. As a teen, I would stay in my room for the rest of the day once I got home from school, but if I had a female guest over there was no going to my room until she left.
Me: Mom I’m bringing my bf home Parents: BOYFRIENDDD???!!!! What boyfriend?? U have boyfriendd??!! If ur African than u understand lmaoo😂😂 #strictreligiousparents 😊
Book Bag yes same !! But Bf & GF that’s a different story. When my husband and I were Bf and Gf my mom was not having it. But now that we are married she don’t care about anything lol. It’s crazy how things change when you’re married.
Im Nigerian 🇳🇬. My sister brought a boy to the house when she was younger one time, and that was the last time she ever did. My father chased his ass all the way up the street with a machete. Sooooo i’m good.
‘Because I wasn’t allowed to at her age’ is the problem. Tradition carries no virtue. It also depends on whether the parents WANT the daughter to stay at home
I’m so grateful my boyfriends parents took me in when I was 19. they were actually okay with me sleeping in the same room together & we’ve been together now for 7 years. & trust me they come from a traditional Mexican household 💖
I totally understand her house, her rules and I agree with that. But I think people misunderstood what the story says when you say "If she's so grown she can move out!" The comment the mom made said she doesn't feel comfortable with them staying in the same room when VISITING. Sounds to me like she already doesn't live at home and they're just visiting for like a weekend or holiday, so the move out argument isn't really valid. I agree though that she needs to respect that it's not her house and so she needs to do what the owners of the house say. Also, it's only a couple days like c'mon, you'll be fine. Some things are just not worth the battle.
Neverrrr. My male friends can't even home over to my house unless we are really close. And when they meet that requirement, they still can't make their way to my bedroom. We better stay in FULL view of my parents lol. Trinidadian over here btw ❤
My family is different than most. They never had a problem with my bf and I sleeping in the same room. I'm 22, about to graduate college, and have never caused any issues. My mom took me to get birth control at 17, we are just open about those things.
Oh my goodness, i was not even allowed to have a boy in my room for a minute leave alone sleeping in...my dad!!!! Uuuuwi!!!! both the boy and i would be history now, and my dad would be in jail, not joking..African parents don't play
I think the moms reason should be more solid than “Well I wasn’t allowed to do it” Well have your own mind and thoughts. Times are completely different. I agree with the mom but wish she would give a better reason
My 20 yr old college daughter occasionally has her out of town bf stay overnight. She stays in her room, and he camps out with her brother in our family room. House rules. Anyways, he’s afraid of me, more than her Dad😏
I'm Black /AA... In my family, you will never be grown enough to sin or have ur boyfriend in ur room, not even with the door open. A spouse, yes, boyfriend, not even a question we ask in my family. It's understood
@@bsbgirl85 Damn, you sound really bitter. How about getting a life so another person's life that you think you know doesn't hurt you so much? I feel your pain.
@@bsbgirl85 whatever Tamera ever did to you, we apologise on her behalf. You are so bitter about Tamera's life, obsessed with her husband and kids. Just all the hatred you carry for her is too much, seek help
I was 31 when I started dating my husband and my momma wasn't having it. Being a West Indian 19 year old u can't even begin to know the drama of asking your parents for your bf to stay over... In Trinidadian slang - they would have skin meh tail. 😂🤣
So happy to see another Trini in the comment section....Jesus himself have to come down and tell my mother for my boyfriend to sleep over in my room. Get your own house and do you there!!!
hahah also Trinidadian and I was just commenting that this would never fly. I remember my parents were like you can date when you are finished with secondary school, and I finished at 16, they were like when you are 18, then it became after college. That dating age just kept increasing 😂😂 Boyfriend? What boyfriend? His name better be ______ [Insert random school subject here]. 😂😂
I'm Saint Lucia and my parents allowed my bf to spend then night and we were 18 years. They felt it was safer than me spending the night by him or having sex in a car park somewhere. Every household is different and ppl think differently.
I’m 26, my fiancé is 30. We are also Latino and live together. But when we stay at my parents house, we sleep in separate rooms. Main reason is because we are not married yet, and I don’t want to disrespect them in their house.
I’m Latina, my mama don’t play that. My mama don’t care if you are 18 or 58. If you ain’t married you have separate rooms. Now we are married, grown, and have kids. We drop the kids off and my hubs and I get a hotel room.
RIGHT!! “Mommy can my boyfriend and I lay down in my room before he goes to work?We’ll keep the door open” Mommi...(laughs) ”nuttin nuh go so” 😂 I tried he ended up on the couch
I was raised by single mother she taught me well and has taken care of me. When I turned 17 she started advising me to be on birth control not to condone sexual relations but to be always secure that I wouldn't be in situation like she was as teen. And has always trusted me to make the right decision when I thought I was ready. She has never had an issue with this. But if she said had an issue with it then I would definitely not disobey her. And always respect her rules.
HELL NO! Girlfriend/Boyfriend, She's 19 and He's 23? No ma'ammmmm!!! if you're not husband and wife, NO MA'AMMM!!! ARETHA FRANKLIN SAID IT BEST: RESEPECT!!!
I don't think it's a respect thing, because if the child was grown and married the parents wouldn't have an issue. It's not respect, they just don't want their kid to have sex. It's a bit controlling when your kid isn't even a kid anymore they are an adult. Who is probably already having sex so what are you really preventing? lol it's not "disrespectful" to sleep in the same bed as your significant other when you're both adults.
This won’t even be a conversation in my household! Omg I’m cringing at the idea of even having a boyfriend at the age of 19 and my parents knowing about it 😭😭😭.
It's simple. Your house, your rules. If she can't and won't follow the rules, then she needs to get stepping. If she is grown/independent and financially stable, and she wants to sleep with her man in the same room...then go to a hotel. This is a matter of respect. Respect for her parent's home and just plain put...the parents! If she can't respect her parents then nobody that she brings along will also. Parents...your child will do what you enable them to do. They can go out into the world and do what they want, and at the same time they know what you will allow and won't (in and out of the home). If they go out into the world and do what they were told not to do, then that's THEIR choice and they will pay the consequences for THEIR decisions. But you have made it clear, and that is where you know...I have done my job. I have raised you knowing what's right and what's wrong because ultimately it's for your best. Discipline is the best form of love. And saying "no" will help her understand that she has to learn how to adapt to your rules and someone else's. Ultimately what you do, who you are, what you learned... is what was learned in the home. It👏 starts 👏at 👏home👏. She will one day have her own home and family and only then will she undertsand. If she is mad...let her be. She can either continue to be mad or get over it. 💁
I couldn’t even think to ask my parents if my boyfriend can sleep over .. & I am 25 and he is 29 lol It is a respect thing and I am still living in their house, so I have to respect their house.
I honestly believe it can be how some people are culturally. I am Jamaican so we don’t have open conversation about relationship with parents. My parents know I have a boyfriend but idc to have those conversations with if that makes sense.
As much as possible, I would teach my kids from a young age how precious their body is and that saving themselves for the right person can be awesome. I would teach them that sex is a spiritual thing as your soul energies are exchanged. You form a soul tie with the person you sleep with. Blessings and curses can be transferred to each other's souls when two ppl have sexual intercourse. That is why GOD wants us to wait till marriage because sex is more than just a physical pleasure.
I would never! My bf and I are planning a trip to see my grandparents this summer and my Nanna said "I love y'all and I love him and y'all can visit whenever but you will be sleeping in separate rooms!" 😂😂😂 and I wouldn't have it any other way in her house!
I moved in with my husbands parents as soon as we got engaged (18 & 19) due to my parents house being 30 minutes from my school and work, and their house being five minutes from both. His parents always gave us our privacy and let us live there until I finished school and we got married. We paid rent and it was a good deal for all of us. 👏🏼
I'm gonna be 21 in a few months and my dad has a problem with me staying over my boyfriends house which of course is normal to feel but I guess I'm not allowed to stay the night just visit as long as I'm under his roof. So instead of ruining my relationship with my father over me being an adult and rules I'm just going to move out and make it easier on the both of us. 🤷🏾
I agree with you girls and it's so very appropriate to do things like that especially when you are still young and your parents are looking at you cuddling each other, maybe you can both do that if you're old enough or much better if you've got your own place then you can do whatever you want to do.
I'm African, and my fiance is going to Africa with me to meet my parents, he'll be asking them for my hand in marriage, and we will be doing the traditional marriage ceremony. Although he's not African, African parents do not make any exception for no one lol so I had to teach him my culture. He's the only guy I'll be taking to meet my parents. We'll definitely not sleeping in the same room while under the same roof as my parents. Every African child knows that the only man you take home is the man that wants to marry you.
My boyfriends parents are retired, handicap, and suffer from mental illness. I was WELCOMED to move in and help the family and learn about the family I am interested in being apart of. It’s another type of respect.
When I was in high school, I had friends whose parents legit let their daughters boyfriends live with them. Daughter & boyfriend slept in the same bed, had sex while the mom was there. My mom was the total opposite, when I got my first boyfriend my mom put me on a curfew, & when he came to visit he had to leave at a certain time.
I would be told 'that this isn't my house, and don't neither one of us pay the bills. And, if I don't like her rules my lil boyfriend and I can leave'. Followed up by 'He not cute no way'. And, "You outta yo rabid-ass mind." 😂😂😂
HeatDamageJourney well you’re not my child lol that’s you my parents would never. And my husband and I lived together prior to getting married so that’s different but if my child was just dating some dude no not if you live under my roof and 19 isn’t grown like I said.
@@biancamartin1606 i used to sneak outside at 2am. Walk 10 mins to see my guy. Then walk back home. I experienced both sides of the coin. Not safe at all
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 5yrs now and I STILL ask my parents if it’s okay for him to visit. And when he does we stay where they can see us. Sitting in the living room watching movies lol. It’s a respect thing for me.
If her daughter is an "adult" then why she still living at home? I'm 19 and if my mom said no to sharing a room with my boyfriend, I would respect her. It's her house, her rules.
what about kids nowadays who are in their 20s still with their parents...the economy is rough...you gonna expect your 25 year old to be celibate til they get on their own feet?? idk lol
Nobody expects their 19 or 25 yr old to remain celibate. However, parents have every right to expect their grown children to STILL follow their rules! So get a room, go to ur sig other’s place or maybe a friend’s house...or like Loni said, in the car 🚙. The point is no matter who you are or how old you are, when ur living under someone else’s roof, u gotta live by their rules...if and when u can’t any longer, u need to leave. Simple as that! Respect your parents and their rules.
I'm 25 still in my parents house while going to school and I'm not going to ask them to have a man sleep over it would be a hell no. We can get a hotel room if we want to do that lol
@@danklove14 i'm almost 25 and my boyfriend moved in years ago some parents are just too strict. If you are in a serious commitment normal parents will let them live in the house until we save up for our own place.
ilikemonkeys this is my situation right now. my family and i are from Cali and my dad passed and things got hard there. before my family moved out to Michigan i met my boyfriend (a friend of my brother’s). my mom and two brothers moved out here first and 3 months later i moved out here with my boyfriend. my family and i are starting over so my boyfriend and i live with my mom and brothers. at first my mom didn’t want us sharing a room until we were married but also doesn’t want us to rush into marriage. she realizes that this is as serious as we can be without being married yet so she’s okay with us sharing a room. my boyfriend also works and helps with bills. i’m now pregnant and was worried to tell my family but they are all over the moon 😊
I’m with Tamera on this. I’m married and I still wouldn’t wanna show the affection in front our families (we keep it soo minimal just little cute hugs and a kiss on the cheek). And no way would I let my kids have their partners over unless they’re married!
I agree with Jeanie on this 200% if you are so grown then you go get your own place. And pay your own bills, and make your own rules! My parents would have NEVER allowed this. My dad would have kicked his ass, and my mom would have beat me with a spoon, followed by taking me to confession!
Caribbean parents don't give a damn if you're "an adult"! If you ain't married he/she ain't even allowed to stay in the house much less in the same room! I would never even have the guts to ask my parents that!
Honey, when I was with my ex, my mom was completely against us having sleepovers after I moved out or when I went to spend the night at his place. I was 25-27! Overly grown!
As an African girl, during my teenage years, I had to fight to be allowed to have sleepovers with my FEMALE friends. So with a BOYFRIEND?! Nope, no way. Anyways, their house, their rules.
I'm 21 and my mom still tells me that when my boyfriend and I visit her house, we aren't allowed to sleep together because we aren't married yet....She's old school....We wouldn't even be allowed to live there unless we we're married lol....
It was totally different when I used to date girls though....She was happy to have them over and to stay a few nights....Only rule was (In my mother's words) "No fucking in my house"😂😂....
I started dating my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 19. It's been almost 3 years and now we're studying and living together in Italy (we're from Portugal). When we were in Portugal I spent the night in his mother house because it was easier for me to go to the university with him since he has a car. Still, sometimes he would go spend the night in my house or I would go alone. Fortunately, both of our parents rather know that we're safe in one of their house's than somewhere else. Also, if our parents didn't let us sleep together it would be totally fine, because their house their rules and I have mad respect for them.
