SLENDER MAN (2018) - The Dumbest Horror Movie In Existence 

I think the use of darkness was a stroke of pure genius because it stops you from seeing how bad the actual movie is

I thought Gru was gonna jumpscare me by saying “w h e r e a r e t h e g o r l s”

Slender Man _walking_ and being physically aggressive is so damn stupid. That misses the entire point; he teleports on a whim over and over, and he kills you without even friggin' _moving._ Him literally walking after victims, or grabbing and choking and pulling them? That's so darn... _off._ It misses the entire point of what's intended to make the character unsettling.

Those 22 seconds of awkward silence were the scariest bit of psychological horror I've ever seen.

Slenderman deletes your browser history when he kills you? That's actually really nice of him, such a bro.

How to get rid of a horrifying monster: Do a ritual? ❌ Call a priest? ❌ Make a shitty movie about it so no ones scared of the monster anymore? ✅

It's strange how that "but I'd have to kill you" line has been a flirting line in multiple movies.

The "Slender Man" stabbing case is really sad, obv mostly for the young girl that was hurt but also seeing that level of mental illness in a 12 year old is so scary and sad. I'm glad she survived and hopefully the mental scars will heal somewhat after, I know they will obv never go away but I hope she can at least find some sense of peace.

Slenderman was scarier when he was just an unsettling anomalous man-shaped thing. As soon as the tentacles got slapped on, he became significantly less scary, imo. Just corny.

Slender Man has the widest t-pose

Slendy is literally just a photobomber, he doesn't need extended lore, goddamit.

The whole "Slenderman is actually not there, its all an illusion" might be a good idea if it was carried out better. They could have made a film where these girls do a ritual to summon Slenderman and nothing happens, so they think it was all boogus, but then, over the next days, strange coincidences start to pile up, they think they see Slenderman in the distance or the periphery of their view but it always tuns out to be nothing and its these girls going crazy. Might have become a movie that even keeps you guessing if Slenderman even exists in it or if its just the paranoia of the protagonists getting to them.

this movie is actually very scary because when it goes to the dark scenes it reflects my double chin

Has anyone ever actually tried to hit slenderman? what if he's really fragile?

11:25 from an occult perspective, this actually makes sense. This is a supernatural entity that feeds on negativity, so sacrificing something important to you would feed it. The sacrifice would be the sorrow and pain you feel from sacrificing the item, not the item itself. In a way, it's actually a lot darker than just taking something you love from you.

20:03 I mean, this was the only hallucination of the whole movie that kinda truly freaked me out. Idk if it were the sounds or portrayal but I liked it being in a horror movie about mental viruses But being a 10 seconds scene in a whole 78 mins film says a lot

Remember when Slenderman was just about finding pages in the woods to stop him

“He preys upon....innocent youth.” “Hi! I’m Jared the Subway guy!” Holy Jesus I almost died

Slender: *chilling in woods with his family* Bunch of stupid girl: *summons him on internet* Slender: *phone dings* oh c'mon this is the 10th summon this week

I like how a web series from almost 10 years ago made a better and more interesting story for Slenderman than something a 10 million dollar budget movie could make (I am referring to both everymanhybrid, marble hornets and to a lesser extent Stan Frederick but that series is only about 3/4 years old)

Girl: kill me Slenderman: aight lemme grow spider legs Girl: runs away Slenderman: yo what the fuck

the documentary about the girls who stabbed their friend to "please" him is scarier, and actually very interesting

Elvis: "Why is there a tri force?" Me: *Bong Rip* "They're setting up a Creepy Pasta Cinematic Universe, and that's a Ben Drowned tease"

Well, Slenderman's backstory being a total mystery is why the character works so well. It has a cosmic horror aura all around it, being unable to understand what he/it is is better than any explanation the director could gave us.

2028: Granny: The Movie

Minecraft cave sounds scarier than this

You had me dying when you said, “The girl got attacked in the woods and uploaded her video after she died?”

I live in wisconsin dells so the fact the slender man stabbing was near me messed me up, especially since I had grandparents who had no filter who acted like someone would do that to me. It took a while for me and others to get over it. My parents were very cautious about people hanging out.

They made the movie really dark so you couldn’t see how shitty it was

When I was little and learned about the Slender man story, I couldn’t sleep for days. But the movie got rid of that fear successfully.

I watched this with my wife once it was streaming. She sat quietly the whole time...just taking it all in. Finally...when the film ended...she very calmly but deliberatly...removed her glasses...and calmly stated..."well...that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen." I thought I was gonna die laughing in the moment. Strangly...it's almost like slenderman himself...whipped my memory. I watched this film and right now...I couldn't tell you a single thing about it. Lol

I remember watching this in theaters with my friend, and I knew a lot of the movie was dumb because of the computer and thinking back on the actual Slenderman stories that this was a stupid way to try to tell the story of Slenderman. I still ended up being scared during a good portion, even after making fun of the stuff with the teenagers with my friend. I just can't help it, especially in a theater. Sound is my weakness, even covering my ears can't help me from shrinking in on myself. I have to at least compliment them on their use of cicadas, that was really well done. Very creative.

Now I want a shot for shot remake with Gru

The worst part about the movie imo, is it ignores slenderman canon. A video right before a slnderman attack would be mostly static, because cameras don't work within a certain distance from him. That's why, I personally think it should have been a found footage film.

the sound effects of her boyfriend screaming that you added were actually better

I hope this movie didn't kill slender Man because he's such a good concept that one day we might actually get someone who makes a movie about him that's actually good.

Do NOT Call Slender Man at 3am (GONE WRONG) (GONE RIGHT) (GONE LEFT) (GONE SEXUAL)

"My Grandma made this blanket for me before she died" "This is the only picture I have of my dad" "I don't know I made a pot I guess"

Honestly, Slenderman in idea is a terrifying idea. It’s a shame the closest we can get to legit terror with it is the games (specifically the original and The Arrival)

I love how as he's criticizing the movie he just has the get in that little bit of humor 😂 love this guy.

I've read fanfics with a better story and understanding of the character

Jumps cares in horror movies are like comedians tickling you for laughs edit: no it stays

The part with the girl's BF "tweaking out" was genuinely hilarious though. I was out of breath with laughter for the whole thing, and I like to imagine Slenderman was too

Here's my take on a Slenderman backstory: Slenderman is not a natural being. He was created (by what, no one knows) to "spare" innocent souls from what his maker thinks will corrupt and harm them (ie the agendas of adults) by using whatever force or methods it deems necessary. Usually, this ends in the death of the child by shock or severe bodily harm (typically suffocation via its tentacles). It wears a suit so that it doesn't immediately scare off its target, to varying levels of success. Before he takes the child, Slenderman likes to leave warnings for those close to its victim by leaving cryptic messages on pieces of paper that contain vague instructions on how it can be stopped. All videos of this creature consist mostly of static because Slenderman is not supposed to be seen by anyone except its victim and its master, and it will be sent into a violent rage if a 3rd party sees its face (much like SCP-096 does). Please keep in mind that all I know about Slenderman comes from the comments on the video. I do feel like this would be a better premise for a movie that whatever THIS was about.

As a slender man I am deeply offended by this stereotype. Imagine there was a popular horror game called "fat lady"

Ironically Gru is nearly twice as tall as Slenderman. I've heard from somewhere that he's around 8 ft tall, which is impressive, sure. But Gru stands at the Godly height of 14 ft

i love that you included clips of basically anytime somebody has said that cheesy overused movie dad joke...."i'd tell but I'd have to kill ya" harharhahrhar

1:02 scared me the most because I'm watching my phone in the dark. I thought I was about to be brutally blinded by the light...

I think it has a lot of jumpsscares because the test audience kept falling asleep

Friendly reminder Gru is 14 feet tall So technically speaking that beginning would be horrifying if you turned around and saw that absolute unit behind you

In the library scene she’s looking at his face. Because ah yes, even though he kills you mainly by you looking at him I’m going to have a staring contest with him.

I think this movie really suffered having those very dark scenes in the movie cut. I remember one where a teacher in a zombie start slits his own throat and blood sprays, yet the students act like nothing is wrong. That is horrifying and perfectly encapsulates what eldritch horror should be. I eager to see the movie only deciding not to when finding out none of the horrifying and graphic scenes were in the movie.

I'd be terrified too if it was Gru

The scene with the boyfriend's face becoming distorted made the audience in my theater burst out laughing, then half of the theater left.

So I rewatched this hilarious travesty of a movie again and there's a part where the girls watch a spooky video featuring two little girls walking around on the grass. Their laughs are the generic Child Giggling sound effect. As in the same one you hear at the end of the og Veggietales intro. I never laughed so hard in months.

This movie is so bad that *Jeff The Killer’s origin story* looks like a masterpiece.

I like how it says that the movie is "Action and Adventure" and not horror.

8:05 "Why he wears a suit?"To be _stylish_ obviously, just because he's a fictional monster doesn't mean he can't have a sense of *fashion*

Fun fact about the stabbing, they had this movie play in theaters in every state, except for Wisconsin. They knew something bad happened in that state because of Slenderman, and the only thing they said was, "eh, just leave the Wisconsin theaters out of this."

What I hate is how some of these actors are genuinely good actors like Annalise basso (the actor who played Katie) I loved her role as Paulina in Ouija origins of evil and also Javier Botet (the actor who played slender man) was built for the role he’s naturally extremely tall and skinny he’s a great actor but Sony did him dirty in this absolute joke of a horror movie

So much potential for a beautiful psychological horror film, wasted on Sony's cheap jumpscares and bad perception of modern youth.

Whatever happened to collecting notes that were randomly in the forest?

The outro changed my life

Right On!!! “Hi. I’m Jared the Subway guy”. Hahahhahahahah got ‘em.

dude, it was sooooooo bad.

Imagine having a movie about you and your only in it for 3 minutes

Wow, this movie actually managed to make Slender Man less scary.

Well.. my own version of the movie would be that a man would go fishing in a lake but he wounds up lost in the forest. The sun has already set and it is a relatively cold night.. he then is forced to use his flashlight in order to see, and has to work his way around this forest. He stumbles upon a page, and collects it thinking it could help him find a lake. However, he hallucinates about a tall figure, you know who it is, slender man. The voices in his head tells him to collect 8 pages in order to complete a game. If he fails yo do this, bad things will happen. Through willpower and determination as well as adrenaline, he escapes slendermans wrath by collecting all of the 8 pages. After this, he finds the lake and finishes what he started.

He’s literally just a guy that has no face, and is also really skinny.

Girl: *opens eye during the ritual* Slenderman: wait, thats illegal

They shoulda went based on the story from the arrival game honestly

They should have done it from more of a psychological horror type standpoint sorta like the Mandela catelogue alternates and how they can’t physically cause harm but use the persons fear against them.

Watching before Sony takes it down again.

What I wanted: Psychological horror, gorgeous imagery, make me afraid of the wind blowing through the trees. The trailer fed us those sweet lies.

The cut from them talking about slender man harming kids to Jared the subway guy is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

7:50 Maybe it's a reference to Ben drowned, who knows

"He preys upon young children." *HI. I'M JARED THE SUBWAY GUY.*

i’ve had literal nightmares with a better plot than this shit

Girls: let's summon Slenderman Does the ritual: Lights flicker: Girls see Slenderman: (screaming) Slenderman: ya got games on yo phone?

I find the, “…I’ll have to kill you.” Part so funny because in my novel I have something similar to this that goes like this. “Well, if I told you… you would probably kill me actually. I stand no chance.”

Nothing more terrifying then a well dressed white man

If I ever encounter slender man imma show him this movie so he would kill whoever made it instead of me

I still find it strange how in 2018 they were still using these weird UI layouts instead of just using a twitter post template, or at least trying to make it look like it came from a social media site

"I fear no man. But that thing.. 8:34 ..it scares me." An entire horror movie doesn't compare to the sheer terror of Elvis showing that single clip.

*_Omg I saw slenderman at 3 am in my bathroom (DO NOT WATCH AT 3 AM)_*

Scariest thing was seeing my reflection on the blackscreen Edit: Thanks for the 1k likes

Omg I kept trying to adjust the brightness on the TV that already has a constant glare on this one so relatable af🧐

20:21 Outro: "SlenderMan Is Dead" Me: "He might be dead... but is he really gone?"

Lol, Slenderman was the real victim of this movie

Slender Man wears a suit and tie because PROFESSIONALS have STANDARDS.

14:36 -14:38 If anyone curious what the song is playing on the vinyl, it's maggot brain by funkadelic. least that's one good thing in the movie. Song's amazing

12:04 that's exactly what I thought-

Slender man is just waluigi in sicko mode.

Can't wait to see Slenderman II, In which we get to see Slendermans backstory in which he worked an office job. But one day he caught his wife cheating which resulted in divorce quickly after. Slenderman quickly feel into a deep state of depression after his wife, gained full custody of the kids and took them along with along with his cars and house. The depression caused Slenderman not to only lose his family, cars, and house, but this job as well. He became poor and began gambling every cent he had left until his pockets were completely empty. With no money or place to stay he became homeless. He resorted to digging through garbage cans behind restaurants for any scrap of food he could find. His depression finally got the best of him and he decided there was only one way out. He made a makeshift noose out of rope he found discarded in one of the bins and made his way off to a secluded area of the forest. He rapped the make shift noose around the highest tree branch he could reach and built up the courage to finally end it all. Once he let go he was filled with a mixture of saddnes, regret, and relief. Suddenly the tree branch snapped and fell along with him. Once he hit the ground the branch fell ontop of him causing him to become unconscious. He awoke to the sound of vultures nipping at his seemingly dead body. He tried to move but the branch had landed in such a way that it was impossible to do so. He struggled for what seemed like hours until he finally gave up. Then the worst. His struggles alerted a nearby bear and her cub. He quickly panicked and began to struggle more which alerted the bear even more. The bear attacked Slenderman his screams, down out by the bear repeatly clawing at his face. After the ordeal the bear had drug him a few meters away from where the branch had initially fell, freeing him. The bear had fled and was nowhere in sight. There was no remaining part of slendermans face and he lied on the cold forest floor and suffered until eventually dying from his injuries. His body left to decay for many years and decades until two female hikers discovered parts of his remains in the forest. Tampering with the remains marked the begging of what was now Slenderman. Given his previous circumstances, Slenderman grew a bond toward children since his own where taken from him. As revenge for his suffering he killed the hikers and many others who dare come across the forest.

13:20 this forest already was turnt but here's a bell

The only time "If I told you, I'd have to kill you." has worked for me was the 2012 TMNT series, where Raphael says it, stops to think for a second, and then immediately tells the guy and tries to attack him.

Am I literally blind? Because I still can't see some scenes even if the brightness is cranked all the way up.

Now we want a Minecraft version of this movie titled Enderman.

Slender Man Vs. The Tall Man Vs. The G-Man Vs. The Smoking Man 6:32 Makes you wonder why he wears a suit and tie instead of jeans, hiking boots, a flannel shirt, and a trucker vest. 7:00 Not random at all. It's all the "usual suspects" of esoteric iconography. 7:39 There's a lot of Kabbalic iconography in video games. It dates back at least to the '80s, but might have started before that. The Triforce looks like a simplified depiction of one of the Seals of Solomon known as the Third Pentacle of Mars, a Kabbalic glyph used for invoking war. Undertale depicts a portion of it in a dismantled state as part of the Delta Rune, possibly an attempt by Toby Fox to invert its meaning. The Persona series is also chock full of this esoteric stuff. 12:47 And what if it's a Cocaine Bear?! Or better yet, Katahdin or Manbearpig! 14:17 Probably an homage to Evil Dead 2. There was at least other movie that did that and it was probably also an homage to Evil Dead 2. Because Evil Dead 2 is the best movie ever, and is therefore worthy of being emulated forever a go go. 17:54 Also Evil Dead-like.

My only complaint is that Slender Man was in CGI form most of the time. I know he's a supernatural monster, but with a name like Slender Man and looking mostly human with the exception of having tentacles growing from his back and no face, you'd think we would've seen more of him played by his actor.